Chapter Text
Reincarnation isn’t real, Jeongguk thinks. He’s aware, too aware in fact that he slightly hesitates his own thoughts for a moment. But the feeling bubbles in his chest and it fits like a puzzle, he’s certain about it. Jeongguk knows he isn’t dreaming and doesn’t know how all of this is possible. But it’s simple. He’s buried six feet underground and he’s not human. At least not anymore.
There’s a blinding light on the end of his vision, and Jeongguk hopes that souls can’t shit their pants. The light gets closer, and bigger, and brighter, and—
A figure, that’s a few inches shorter than him, with shiny black hair and coruscating stars underneath his cat-like eyes, boring into Jeongguk’s own with seemingly no intention to break the eye contact. Jeongguk doesn’t look away. His mind speaks out, the voice echoing throughout his head, ‘Who, and what the hell is this guy?‘
“I’m Yoongi. And please stop using the word ‘hell.’ It’s a bit taboo for it to be thrown around so carelessly here.”
‘How did he read my mi—‘
“It’s the afterlife. Of course it’s possible.”
“Are you god?” Was the first thing that came out of Jeongguk’s mouth since he first arrived. The shorter male stares back at him with a raised eyebrow. “I’m not god, Jeongguk. It’s only your first awakening. I’m an angel; well, sort of.”
A tense ambience overtakes the room.
“Uh, what’s- what’s gonna happen to me?”
“Well, first let me do a rundown on who you actually are. You’re Jeon Jeongguk, born in Busan on September 1st 1997, died of a lightning strike on a flooded tuesday when you were just about to visit your last boyfriend, Kim Taehyung.”
And then it all comes back.
In a lifetime, that feels like forever ago, Jeon Jeongguk was in love with Kim Taehyung. IS STILL in love with Kim Taehyung.
It was a rainy october, and Taehyung just hung up the phone. Jeongguk knew he’d fucked up. On that day, they were supposed to leave for their upcoming anniversary in Hawaii. But on the way home the night before, somehow Jeongguk’s awkward nature got himself dragged into a friend’s fraternity party. The next thing he knew, it was 10 am the next day and he’d missed their flight.
Jeongguk remembers his thoughts clouded by disappointment and anger at himself, as he ran to his soaked car.
Maybe his thoughts were screaming too loudly inside his head about how utterly stupid his actions were, as a powerful lightning struck through his entire being, from the tips of his hair to the bottom of his feet. He decided not to remember how it felt.
There were glimpses of pleads, sobs, and stern commands. All of them have one intention; to keep him alive. But alas, they drifted as if his ears were submerged in the deepest parts of an ocean. And then it was dark, in a barren wasteland. For a long, long time. His thought process have stopped, as well as his senses.
Now, he’s here.
“Are you finished?” Yoongi’s voice blares into the dead silence.
“H-huh?” Jeongguk blinks for the first time after his brief recollection.
“You want to know how he is, don’t you?”
Jeongguk doesn’t find the right answer.
“He thinks it’s his fault, doesn’t he?”
“Yeah, he does. More than anyone.” Yoongi replies curtly.
‘All I wanted was to spend my last fucking breath with him. I was supposed to hold him until he gets tired of me, grow old and adopt as many dogs and kids we can fucking have-‘ “Jeongguk, I can hear you curse in your he—“ “That’s not the point!”
Jeongguk knows if he was still alive, he’d be running out of breath with tears brimming his eyes. He also knows that Taehyung would engulf him in the warmest hug, reassuring him that everything’s gonna be quite alright.
“You really love him, don’t you?” Yoongi asks quietly.
“Yeah, I do. I would give everything I have if it takes for me to see him again.”
The shorter male lowers his gaze remorsefully.
“Is there someway I could?” Jeongguk’s voice threatens to break at the end of his question.
“Ye- No. There isn’t.” The taller male lifts his eyes to stare back suspiciously. “You were about to say yes, weren’t you?” “No, I wasn’t,” “Don’t lie, Yoongi.”
Yoongi sighs, defeated.
“Before I was here, I too, had a muse like you.” “What happened?” “He passed away at a young age, just like you did.” “If so, then why are you the one standing here in front of me?”
The black haired boy bites his bottom lip for a moment.
”We traded.”
Oh.
“It was for a cost. I had to do what I’m doing right now.” “Why’d you trade with him?” “I knew without him I was nothing. Serious codependency and self esteem issues, I know. But it’s true, he was my light, and I was sure he’d do so much more alone than I could ever have.”
Jeongguk’s lips quiver for a split second. He views Yoongi in a different light.
“But you, on the other hand, believe in him. You know he’ll do great things so that’s why you aren’t wishing that you could live to continue on, but to see him again and tell him what you want him to hear.” Yoongi recites. Jeongguk realises he’s spot on, he just wants to apologise and tell Taehyung that he’ll continue to love him and the way he trips over his own words one last time, so he can fully accept the loss of his life.
“Yeah, you’re right.”
***
A year later
It’s an interesting sight to see tourists roam around in an autumn day in Tokyo, with them having tendencies to leave their coats at their place because of the slight warmth in the air, yet for them to regret it right after the sun goes down. Taehyung has always been one of those people. Even after seven whole months of living here, he finds himself confused with everything more often than not.
It’s October 3rd, and it’s been an entire year since Taehyung lost his beloved. The boy rarely thinks about what he misses about Jeongguk anymore, as the impact washes over him like a tsunami, with very little help to fix the damage. But today, he’s going to fly back to the one place he dreads being in most. Taehyung prays he’s not forgetting anything important, as there is lack of a certain overthinking boy present in the room. He sighs as he grips his passport that’s nearing it’s expiration and an economy class plane ticket in his right hand.
He slides in his right foot into his boots, when he hears a knock on the door.
Taehyung furrows his eyebrows in confusion, remembering that he told everyone that he’ll be flying back to Busan today. His right eye squints into the peephole, and he swears his heart stopped beating overall.
His wool-covered fingers greatly hesitated in twisting the door handle. He weakly pulls the wooden door open.
“Taehyungie?”
A breath, half a breath, then nothing at all.
***