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"Chanu-ya. Can't you still understand the steps? We've been repeating this for ten fucking minutes already!" Hanbin hyung shouted at me. As usual, I'm fucking up again. I stared at the ground as I flinch at hyung's harsh words.
"Hanbin, don't be too harsh to the kid." Jinhwan hyung said.
"I'm sorry, but please understand that we need to finish this by the day after tomorrow! Aish. That's it for today." Hanbin hyung ended the practice, and Bobby hyung immediately went to him to keep him calm.
Hyung's lucky. He's always stressed, he's working on iKON and his solo album, but he has a boyfriend by his side. Same with Junhoe and Jinan hyung. I also think that Donghyuk and Yunhyeong hyung are in a relationship, but they never said anything.
While I'm here, a loner. Yes, I have iKON, but most of the times, I'm alone. Yunhyeong hyung used to be my comfort zone, we were roommates and he's my "twin" but it's been different since we changed our dorms. My comfort zone is now games and baseball.
"Chanwoo, let's go?" Jinhwan hyung asked.
"No, hyung. I'll stay." I smiled, but deep inside, I'm hurt.
I never complained anything to the group, but they probably know my struggles and pain. We've been a family for three years already, anyway. But sometimes, I just really think that they still don't like me in the group. Especially Hanbin hyung. I keep on delaying the practices, I keep on messing up. I never helped in anything, in the album and stuff. I couldn't cook, I can't even clean the dorms. I'm probably just a nuisance to iKON.
"Chanwoo, what are you thinking?" A finger suddenly snapped in front of my face.
"Yunhyeong hyung. It's nothing. I'm just thinking of the choreography." I lied. "Why are you still here?" I asked before he can ask more questions.
"Oh, I decided to stay and practice with you." He smiled, a smile that made my heart flutter. Yes, I like my hyung. Ever since Mix and Match era.
"But you already mastered the steps? Hat is there to practice for you?" I asked.
"I was thinking if I could help you practice. I that alright for you?" He asked gently, the smile never leaving his face, and my heartbeat never slowing down.
"Y-yeah." I said, because how can I possibly say no to him?
"Okay. So... Do you want to rest for a while?" He asked.
"No, I would like to practice already, if it's okay with you." I answered.
"Okay, then. I'll play the music and watch you. Basically I'll be Hanbin but a gentler one." He chuckled and I did too.
He played the music and I started dancing. It was a bit awkward, well, at least for me. I can hear my heartbeat pounding on my ears. I'm nervous, I don't want to mess up in front of Yunhyeong hyung-- in front of only him. He stopped the music when the steps are not yet taught. Yunhyeong stood up and walked towards me, in front of me.
I was shocked when he held my shoulders, and slowly massaged it.
"You're too tensed and stiff. Are you nervous?" He chuckled, probably thinking of it as joke, but yes, I am indeed nervous, hyung.
"No..." I answered.
"You got the footworks faster than you did last choreography, nice job. But I think your body rolls are stiff. Try making it softer." Yunhyeong said. I waited for him to turn the music on but he just stayed there, so I awkwardly started dancing.
"Are you awkward with me watching?" He kinda laughed amusedly.
"Well, yeah. Somehow." I admitted and scratched my nape.
"You look cute." He said, making me look at him. I saw a smile I've never seen before. An attracting one, would seducing be the right word? Or maybe I'm just seduced with every action he makes.
"Let's do it like this then." He said and walked towards the door. I thought he was going to leave, but to my surprise, he turned the lights off.
I didn't miss the sound of the door being locked.
"Hyung, how can you see me with the lights off?" I asked. I also wanted to ask why he locked the door, but I didn't bother asking.
"I don't have to." He said as I hear his footsteps near me.
"I can feel it." I got goosebumps as I hear him whisper on my ear. I felt his hands grip the sides of my hips and pulled me closer to him.
"Go, roll your body." He commanded.
Though it was weird and awkward, I did. I rolled my body softer, just like what he said. I feel like I'm hypnotized by him.
"Still stiff, Chanwoo." He said. I turned around to face him.
"I think you'll feel it better this way." I said and pulled him closer, our bodies touching. I rolled my body on him.
"That's right, baby. Grind on me. Harder." He said, looking up. Even if it's dark, I can still see how he closed his eyes and his apple.
I think things have gone way too far already. I can totally feel my boner forming. I pulled away.
This is dangerouSh-shall we continue to the next step?" I asked awkwardly.
"I'm sorry, but no." He said and I felt a pair of lips kiss me.
Kiss-- what?
I closed my eyes as my heart pounded louder and faster than it ever did before.
I responded to the kiss.
I felt Yunhyeong's hands on my cheeks move to the back of my neck. I opened my mouth to breathe but he used that opportunity to enter his tongue on my mouth, exploring every centimeter of it.
For what seemed like an hour, we pulled away to take a breath. After just a second, he kissed me again, but it was quick. I thought I can breathe again but my breath hitched when Yunhyeong kissed me on my neck. It was something I have never experienced before, a different kind of feeling. I can describe it as ecstasy.
He continued nipping and kissing my neck, on a spot where I liked it the most. His hands were all over me.
I moaned when he groped my ass. No one ever did that to me. Yes, I'm a virgin, never have I experienced having sex with anyone else. No one has ever touched me except myself. The only experience I had is kissing and that was when I'm still an actor.
"You like it like that huh." He whispered on my ear and groped my ass again, and I moaned, giving him the satisfaction again.
"Chanwoo, would you like to do it with me?" He asked as he pressed his lips on my neck, near the shoulder.
"Do what?" I asked, almost whispering.
"Just give me a yes or no and I will let you know." He said. It's amazing how it rhymed, but I didn't have the time to be amazed.
"Okay."
"Sit down." He commanded, and I did.
He suddenly sat on me, legs encircling my waist, our boners pressing on each other.
He kissed me, and rolled his hips on mine. I did the same, trying to gain dominance but always ending up being submissive.
I felt hands tear down my shirt-- yes, tear down. He probably didn't want us to stop kissing. But we did, only for a short while, just for hyung to remove his hoodie and shirt off.
He removed his legs from my waist and pushed me down, making me lie down on to cold floor, but I didn't feel it with the heat of my body-- our bodies.
Suddenly, the ecstasy doubled and so did my nervousness. I wasn't really able to think properly a while ago, but now I'm back on my right mind.
Yunhyeong knelt and placed his hands on the floor-- trapping me. He was about to dive in again, but I stopped him by putting my hand on his chest.
"What's wrong?" He asked in a very low tone.
"What about Donghyuk?" I asked carefully.
"What about him?"
"Aren't you two together?" I finally had the courage to ask him that after three years.
"What?" He asked, then laughed. "You think we're together?"
"Aren't you?" I insisted. He then kissed me, a gentle one.
"That's cute. I love you for two years now, Chanwoo." He suddenly confessed, pressing our foreheads together.
"What?" I asked softly, my heart melting with the confession.
"Yes, it's true baby. I never had the courage to confess. I'm afraid you'll avoid me, reject me, and I'm afraid that you may not be into men." He chuckled, but I can see his smile, a very very joyful one.
"I love you too, hyung. Since Mix and Match era." I confessed too.
"That long?" He asked. I just nodded and smiled.
"I love you." He said and kissed me again, continuing our interrupted business.
He slowly lowered his kisses, from my lips, to my neck, to my chest and down to my belt.
He unbuckled my belt and anticipation filled me. I didn't feel nervous anymore, after hearing the words I wanna hear, the I love you.
He pulled my pants down. I arched my back when he licked my dick through my boxers.
"H-hyung."
"It sucks, I don't have any lube. If I did I'd be fucking the hell out of you already." He said as he took my dick out and swallowed it whole, making me scream-- yes, scream.
"Hyung..!" I arched my back as he bobbed his head up and down. When I can feel the climax, I pulled his hair and thrust on his mouth.
My whole body shook when I released on his mouth, which he surprisingly swallowed everything. I find it disgusting but hot at the same time.
"Now I'd have to finish myself off." He said and I heard him remove his belt.
"Hyung, let me." I said and tried to stand up, but he stopped me.
"No Chanwoo, stay there and rest. We'd still have to return to our dorm, so rest there." He commanded me strictly.
I tried not to listen to him when he was doing himself off. I'd probably have another boner if I did.
He made his release and lay next to me.
"Hyung.." I hugged him and he hugged me back.
"Do you want to go back already?" He asked gently.
"No, I still have to practice." I said.
"You're already perfect, baby." He said and we chuckled.
"Stop trying to compliment me." I hit his chest lightly.
"Are you my boyfriend now?" He asked.
"Do you want me to?"
"Of course, baby. I fucking do." He took my hand and kissed it.
"Then yes." I answered.
"I love you, Chanwoo."
"I love you too, hyung."
Things got better after that. Yes, sometimes things just get really messy. But I already found my perfect comfort zone, the one who keeps me stable, keeps me calm. It's him, it's Song Yunhyeong.