Archive of Our Own

Lawrence High School hadn’t changed much -- not in the four years it was Dean Winchester’s prison or in the five years since he’d been freed. The red brick walls were still slightly imposing, albeit the entire building looked smaller now than he remembered, and even from the safety of the Impala with the AC blasting cool air on his face, the intermingling scents of pubescent teenagers was overwhelming.

The gym was still one of the largest structures, jutting out to the left of the school’s main building. Now it was surrounded by hydrangea bushes -- one of the graduating classes ‘gifts’ -- and had a cheesy Class of 2005 welcoming sign in a bright, neon 80’s theme. Which… made no sense. They were 90’s kids, after all.

God, he was already regretting this.

He blew out a breath and reached for the dash, turning down the sound of Metallica blaring through his speakers. For once, the music he had playing wasn’t soothing, and it was doing nothing to calm the beating of his heart.

Tonight, he would be walking into that gym and wouldn’t breathe until he saw him. It was a last ditch effort, he knew that. He knew the chances of Castiel showing up and being here were slim to none. The Omega had done everything in his power to disappear from every aspect of Dean’s life -- no facebook, deleted myspace, changed numbers and addresses and friends… If Dean didn’t have the thick scar, proof of their mating, in a perfect semi-circle on his throat… well, he would’ve been hard pressed to believe he hadn’t made Castiel up.

The twisting of his stomach and the sour taste in his mouth as he looked upon the gym told him, however, that it wasn’t made up. Dean had to grasp at straws, cling to the good memories and feelings of the three years of his life he spent with Castiel, but he remembered every single second of the end.

He remembered Castiel’s face, his eyes filling with tears, the look of utter betrayal as Dean essentially rejected him.

He remembered the look of anger, disbelief, and disappointment on Chuck and Becky’s faces when they answered the door. He remembered their refusal to let him inside and the sound of the door snapping shut.

He remembered the way his throat burned, hot and angry, his very blood and soul missing his mate and punishing him for being so rash and foolish.

He remembered walking through the hallways, looking for the messy black hair in the crowd, feeling increasingly lost every day when he realized Castiel wasn’t coming back.

He remembered every damn day of his life after Castiel walked away from it.

It was Dean’s fault, he knew that. He hoped that the pain he’d felt over the past five years had been inflicted upon him alone, that Castiel hadn’t had to suffer, too. But mostly…

Dean opened his eyes again and reached for the ignition. No, he couldn’t hope. Not this time. If Castiel was here tonight, he damn well would grovel and beg and apologize and lay his freaking life down to get his mate to even speak to him. But Dean wasn’t going to hold his breath.

He deserved this, after all.

“Cas...” The Omega jumped as he felt Mick’s warm arms engulf him and press Castiel’s nose to his throat, letting him take in the calming scent of bergamot and myrrh while the Alpha carded his fingers through Cas’ dark unruly locks. “We can turn back, you know,” Mick whispered as the Omega curled closer into him. “We don’t have to go to this reunion.” Castiel sat up and the Alpha brought his hand up to the Omega’s cheek thumbing away a tear. “I don’t like seeing you this distraught.”

“I-I,” Cas took a deep breath letting it out slowly. “I’m fine, Mick.”

The Alpha quirked a brow and Cas let out a small amused huff. Mick could always tell when the Omega was being less than truthful.

“I will be fine. I need to do this.” Cas glanced up from the steps of his Alma Mater at the huge blocked letters that read Lawrence High School as he whispered, “I need to face my past.”

“Well,” Mick held out his hard for Cas to take, “come on my strong Omega.” He flashed Cas a comforting smile. “Let’s face it head on together. That’s why I’m here after all.”

Castiel could feel his heart pounding in his chest as they walked through the halls of his past, the ache becoming almost unbearable as he saw the ghost of Dean Winchester around every corner; his old locker where Dean would sneak in love notes and the janitor closet where they had more than a few very heated makeout sessions, the AP History classroom where he and Dean had realized they were true mates after Cas had returned to school after his first heat…

There were so many memories and all of them were clawing beneath his skin, making his inner Omega whimper painfully as it recalled so vividly the betrayal of its’ Alpha. Phantom pain shot down his throat, twisting in his stomach and he barely kept himself from stumbling. Everything in him was crying out, begging him to seek out his mate, as if Dean Winchester would still be walking up and down these hallways.

No, that ship had long since sailed and Castiel had more self worth than to go searching for it. Not again.

“This is going to be so much harder than I thought,” Cas whispered as he gripped Mick’s hand harder and they walked into the gym.

Mick looked over at him, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. “You say the word, Cas, and we’ll leave. I mean it,” he added at the stoic look returned to him. “I’m not going to let you go backwards, you understand? I’ll do this for you, support you, but I will not let this destroy you. You’re so much better than this, Castiel.”

An hour into the festivities, Cas found himself having to pull his eyes away from the entrance for the… hell, he’d lost count. He glanced around the gym once more. Maybe, just maybe, Dean had showed up when he wasn't looking. The Omega instantly scolded himself for the disappointment he felt when he didn’t find artly spiked honey colored hair and emerald eyes amongst the crowd.

Cas tapped Mick on the shoulder and the Alpha paused in his conversation with Rowena, a red haired Beta who Castiel had always thought was a wicked witch. The Omega cleared his throat and held up his empty glass. “I’m gonna go get a drink.”

Mick nodded. “You want me to come with?”

The Omega snorted at the Alpha’s protective streak. “I’m sure I can manage on my own,” he replied dryly.

“Of course you can,” Mick smirked, “but I’m here if you need me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cas mumbled good naturedly with a roll of his eyes. He pushed up from his seat and made his way over to the refreshments table.

The Omega was ladling punch into his cup when an all too familiar voice assaulted his ears. “Well, well, if it isn’t Castiel Novak. Damn, Omega, you are looking good.”

Cas faltered and spilt his punch along the side of his glass. “Lucifer,” he gritted out and he steeled himself as he reached for a wad of napkins, wiping down his cup. The Omega spun around to face one of his former bullies. “I would say it's nice to see you again, but,” Cas shrugged as he smirked at the Alpha, “we’d both know that's a lie.”

“You wound me,” Lucifer crooned as he placed his hands over his heart. “And here I was hoping we could catch up,” the Alpha purred as he gave Cas a lecherous once over. “If you know what I mean.”

“Seriously?” Cas growled as he gripped his cup tighter, anger bleeding through his every pore. “You mother fu-”

The Omega’s tirade was cut off by a hand gripping his shoulder. “Everything okay here?”

“Yeah,” Lucifer lips curled up into a sneer, “everything's just fine, Mick. I was just catching up with Castiel.” Lucifer eyed the other Alpha as he continued, “I’m surprised to see you here, I must admit. You know, after all those,” he waved his hand in a flourish, “nasty rumors that ran you off.”

“Right,” Mick snorted, “rumors that I’m sure you assisted in continuing to spread, long after I left? Should I share a few of my own ‘rumors’ of you and your extracurricular activities, Luci?”

Castiel smirked, knowing full well where Mick was going with this, and glanced up at Lucifer’s face, catching the momentary look of shock before his face smoothed back to calm and collected.

“Well, you seem to have changed your tastes to Omega slut, in any case,” Lucifer sneered and Castiel felt Mick stiffen beside him. He opened his mouth, ready to tell Lucifer exactly where he could shove his earlier offer, when it hit him.

“Mick,” he whispered, voice cracking as his eyes darted around the darkened gym chasing the scent of ginger and citrus with a hint of leather, a scent that had haunted him the past five years. All too quickly, his gaze landed on him.

Dean Winchester, his mate, his Alpha.

No, no no, Cas shook his head. Not his mate, not his Alpha, not anymore. Not after what he did.

“I can’t do this,” Cas murmured over and over, his heart racing as his vision blurred. Every inch of his skin was crawling, his blood boiling just beneath the surface. His head felt big, the gasps of air overpowering the rest of the sounds in the gym. He heard Lucifer, just barely, asking what the fuck was wrong with him and he registered Mick snapping something back at him, his hand pressing to the back of Castiel’s shoulder.

Mick was saying something, his breath hot against the side of his face and it was too much. He needed to get out of here before he broke down, once again, in front of his graduating class. The Omega stumbled from Mick’s hold and quickly made his way to the nearest exit ignoring the Alpha’s worried voice calling after him.

Dean rolled his eyes as three sharp raps hit the side of the Impala, seconds before the door was wrenched open.

“You gonna sit out here all night, brotha?”

Dean rolled his head to the side and found himself smiling, despite how shitty he truly felt. “Thinking about it,” he replied back, taking a sip from his Uncle Bobby’s old flask before passing it over to his old friend. “What about you?”

“This is more Andrea’s thing,” Benny responded with a shrug, taking a healthy sip of whiskey before handing it back. “Didn’t think I’d see you here.”

“Wasn’t planning on coming,” Dean answered and they fell into comfortable silence, Led Zeppelin playing softly on the radio. Benny shifted, letting his legs fall open and stretch beneath the dash as he drummed his fingers against the top of his knee. Dean leaned against the driver’s window and watched his old friend fall back into the comfort the Impala provided.

“You keep starin’ at me like that and I’m gonna have to tell Andrea she’s got some competition,” Benny joked and Dean found himself laughing, reaching over to punch his shoulder.

“Dude, Andrea’s too much Alpha for me. She would kick my ass.”

“That she would, brotha, that she would,” Benny agreed. He sobered quickly, sighing as he met Dean’s eyes in the parking lot lights. “Why are you really sitting out here?”

Dean shrugged, fingernail scratching across the engravement on the flask. “Mostly because I don’t want to listen to people,” he shrugged again and glanced over at Benny, “give me shit about where I’ve been, asking me what I’m up to now, along with a million other questions.”

“Dean, it’s a small town. When people leave, everyone wants to know the details. People don’t leave often.” Benny narrowed his eyes. “They sure as hell have more questions when their friend fucks off the face of the earth and never answers their goddamn phone.”

Dean felt his cheeks flush and he busied himself with taking another sip from his flask. “I replied to you on facebook.”

“You tagged me in a meme about over exaggerated Louisiana accents. That’s not a conversation, you asshole.”

Dean smirked and shook his head. “It was funny though, you have to admit it was funny.”

Benny snorted and reached for the flask, letting Dean know he was forgiven. “Andrea and I are trying to have a baby,” Benny said suddenly and Dean raised an eyebrow, looking over. “We, uh, matched my heat and her rut so, you know, hopefully it will take.”

Dean nodded, knowing full well how hard an Omega male and female Alpha conception was -- his own parents having two kids was nearly unheard of. Benny’s sex life and him explaining how they managed to match up the only time they would guaranteed to be fertile - on Benny’s part -- and have an increased risk of conception for Andrea, well… Dean didn’t need the details.

He said as much, causing Benny to snort in laughter and return the punch he’d received earlier. “You’re missing the point,” Benny said calmly, shaking his head. “We’re moving forward with our lives, planning a future… It’s work, man, being bonded is damn hard work. But…” Benny trailed off and ran a hand back through his hair. “Dean, when I broke my bond with Eli, I thought that was the end. I never would’ve imagined myself where I am now.”

Dean cleared his throat, turning away and looking out the windshield at the gym entrance. There were a million things he wanted to say -- Wanted to play it off that he knew, of course he knew, and he was fine, moved on, even. Wanted to get angry, because Dean and Castiel were nothing like Benny and Eli had been. Wanted to drown himself in the bottle of whiskey in the back seat and pretend this conversation wasn’t happening…

“I know why you’re sitting out here, Dean,” Benny whispered and reached over, gripping Dean’s arm. He pushed out as many soothing pheromones as he could and Dean, despite himself, took a deep breath and let his friend help him relax. “Come inside with me. Come see Andrea, drink punch and tell your shitty ass jokes to the rest of the team.”

Dean nodded, forced himself to smile, and took a final drag of his drink before tucking the flask into his pocket. Benny exited first, waiting for Dean silently and patiently at the front of the car.

“Is he here?” Dean asked softly and Benny shook his head.

“Andrea and I got here about an hour or so ago, but I haven’t seen him. We’d been moseying around the food table for a while, saw most people come and go.”

Dean blew out a slow breath and pulled his jacket down, straightening out his shirt underneath. He didn’t know if he was relieved or disappointed by that fact, but he was already counting on finishing up the damn bottle in the car by the end of the night.

Benny waited for his nod and then they set off together for the entrance to the gym.

The space was decorated with more overly-colorful banners and streamers, using their school colors and decorations that Dean was more than positive were from the 80s. He scented the air quickly, catching a million different scents, some familiar, but most too cloying and blurred from the amount of alcohol he’d already drank. Something tickled the back of his mind, but he couldn’t place it. He scented again, shaking his head as he turned to look at Benny.

“Dude, I drank too much,” he commented and Benny snorted, rolling his eyes.

“Let’s get you some punch then. And no, you can’t spike it,” he added, grabbing Dean’s arm and giving him a tug. “Andrea’s over at the end.”

Dean trudged along, raising a hand to wave at Andrea when the familiar scent hit him again. “Benny…” He scented the air harder, not caring that he probably looked rude as fuck. “Do you smell that?”

“What?” Benny asked, sliding his arm around Andrea and turning back.

“Hello, Dean,” Andrea greeted, smiling brightly.

“It’s…” Dean shook his head, trying to focus on saying hello to Andrea, when he heard a plastic cup clatter to the ground and a deep voice yell out.

“Castiel! Wait!”

“Dean,” Benny and Andrea said in tandem, but Dean had spun around, nearly knocking himself off balance with the change in position. He saw the back end of Castiel as he fled the opposite side of the gym. Dean’s eyes widened and suddenly Mick Davies was standing inches from him.

“You,” Mick hissed, finger pressing into Dean’s chest, his feet rocking back, “stay put.”

Castiel was here. Castiel was here. Cas… Dean opened his mouth but Mick was gone, the Alpha following after Dean’s mate. He turned back to Benny, his mouth still open, stomach churning.

“I don’t know,” Benny said softly, shaking his head. “You got a choice to make, brotha.”

Dean glanced at Andrea, her brown eyes as soft as her smile, and he knew what he had to do.

By the time Mick made it to Cas, he was sitting on the steps outside of the gymnasium. The Omega had unbuttoned the top three buttons on his dress shirt and pulled at it to where it was askew. The Alpha knew Cas had been on the verge of a panic attack, having seen him battle through more than one over the past five years all because of Dean fuckin’ Winchester. Mick took a deep breath, calming himself. The last thing Cas needed to scent was angry Alpha.

“Hey,” Mick whispered as he carefully approached the Omega as if he were a spooked animal that would bolt at any given moment.

“It happened right here you know,” Cas smiled up at him sadly as his shoulders slumped. “Right here on these very steps was where Dean, my true mate, broke me.”

“Oh, Cas,” Mick sighed as he sat down by the Omega, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into his chest. “You’re not broken…”

“I am, Mick,” Castiel whispered back, shaking his head. “You don’t know… not everything.”

Mick licked his lower lip, rocking them gently against the concrete steps. “What did he do to you?”

The Omega let out a shuddering breath as he clenched his eyes shut, tears staining the Alpha’s shirt as he thought back to the hellish day over five years ago...

Cas smiled as he hitched his bookbag up on his shoulder, feeling the sting from the mating bite Dean had left on him during his heat, his smile widening when he thought about the matching one Dean wore. They had been together for three years, but this was the first heat his Alpha helped him through and it had been perfect. Dean had been perfect. He thanked whatever deity had seen fit to make Dean Winchester his true mate.

His heat had officially ended yesterday evening and Dean had gone home late last night because he needed to get his books and football equipment for school the next day. The short time they’d been apart, Cas had missed his Alpha something fierce. He couldn’t wait to see his mate, to kiss him, scent him, see his mark on his throat.

Castiel clutched the brown paper bag that held the chocolate scone he’d made for Dean, as he made his way to the steps of the school gym where the Alpha had told him to meet him the night before. The Omega’s heart started beating faster as he approached the steps where his mate was waiting for him, wearing the same love struck grin he was sure that was on his face.

“Dean,” Cas purred as he jogged up the steps and launched himself into his mate’s arms, feeling the Alpha chuckle against his hair.

“Well I missed you, too.” Dean hesitated only a moment, searching their surroundings before pressing a kiss to Cas’ cheek. “What’s in the bag?” The Alpha nodded towards his mate’s hands.

“Oh,” Cas held out the bag for Dean to take, “I made you breakfast.”

“God, you’re the best,” Dean smiled as he opened the top and took a deep breath, “and it’s even chocolate!”

Castiel felt himself blush under his Alpha’s praise and leaned in, letting his head fall to Dean’s shoulder and resting against him. Dean chuckled, pulling out the scone and wrapping his free arm around Castiel.

“I wish we could just leave,” Dean said after a moment, taking a small bite of his breakfast and chewing thoughtfully. “I don’t want to be here today, you know? I don’t want to have to basically ignore you in the hallways, and I sure as hell would rather eat my lunch with you in the cafeteria instead of the janitor’s closet…”

“Are you saying you don’t like the janitor’s closet, Mr. Winchester?” Castiel smirked, pressing his nose against Dean’s jacket, knowing his own mark was healing in Dean’s skin beneath. He inhaled deeply, smirking at the spike of Alpha arousal. “As I recall… we have had a lot of good times in that closet.”

“Well,” Dean started, fingers pressing into Castiel’s side as he pulled him in closer, “I can tell you what I plan on using it for today, if you’d li-”

“Ooh, Winchester, getting it up a little early this morning, are we?” Castiel felt Dean stiffen and he winced as Dean yanked away, shoving Castiel back a step. Lucifer Clarke and Michael Campbell were catcalling, laughing as they ran up the stairs with the rest of the team -- Gordon Walker, Zack Adler, Raphael Murray. Castiel’s stomach dropped and the tinge of fear erased any hint of arousal.

“And with the geeky Omega, too?” Michael added as he stopped next to Dean, throwing an arm over his shoulder and pulling him in. Castiel forced himself not to show any emotion, tore his eyes away from Dean’s and stared down at the ground between them. Once the team had their fill, Castiel could leave… he could walk away, ignore their laughter, and would see Dean in a few hours when the bell rang for lunch...

Zack ripped the scone from Dean’s hands, taking a large bite and chewing lewdly. The smacking of his lips made Castiel cringe and he resisted looking up at Dean’s face to see his expression at having his breakfast stolen. “Well, the Omega can cook,” Zack added and leaned forward, scenting Castiel openly. “Oh, and the bitch is ripe, too!”

“Oh, Winchester, is the Omega trying to seduce you?” Lucifer cackled, moving around to throw an arm over Castiel’s shoulder, rolling his hips into Cas’ side. Castiel failed and looked up quickly, locking eyes with Dean for a moment. His mate looked angry, his jaw twitching as he looked from Castiel’s eyes to Lucifer’s arm around his shoulder. “Castiel, Castiel, Castiel… even as delicious as you smell, do you really think you could be worth it for any one of us?”

The rest of the team laughed, Dean clearing his throat and giving a soft chuckle to blend in with them. Castiel felt sick.

“What, are we meant to share this?” Gordon snorted, taking the scone from Zack and taking a bite of his own.

“I mean...” Dean cleared his throat again, shaking away any sign of his anger towards Lucifer. Castiel knew his mate, knew he was internalizing this moment, was turning his anger into something productive… Unfortunately, something ‘productive’ meant turning it against Castiel. Dean’s face was hard, eyes glinting like steel as he sneered his words to match Gordon’s, “If you were trying to put out, you should’ve brought enough to go around.”

Castiel felt his heart stop, tears springing to his eyes as he stared straight into Dean’s, ignoring the rest of the Alpha’s around his mate. Dean had been mean before, had saved face in front of his friends… but his comments had always been half assed. He always faked being bored with tormenting Castiel or his friends. Any second, Dean would snap out of it. Any second, Dean would put them in their place. Any second Dean would realize that what truly mattered was --

“Or you could just be a good Omega bitch and bend over,” Dean’s voice cracked, but it went unnoticed by everyone other than Castiel, the rest of the team laughing loudly, grabbing at Castiel’s ass and crotch, humping the air and pretending they were bending over some unseen Omega ‘bitch’.

Castiel stared at Dean, shaking his head. He felt the tears streaming down his face but he couldn’t look away.

“I’m sure it was good while it lasted,” Lucifer cackled and Dean flinched once. Lucifer didn’t know, none of them knew, but Dean knew.

“Yeah, exactly. Notch on the bedpost, right?” Dean snorted and the rest of Castiel shattered.

“I hate you, Dean Winchester,” Castiel hissed, much to the amusement from the rest of the team. He ripped himself out from underneath Lucifer’s arm, stomping on the Alpha’s foot hard when he moved to grab him. He ignored Lucifer calling him names as he flew down the steps, ignored the rest of the team laughing along with Dean and the half of the scone that hadn’t been eaten being chucked at his back by Zack or Gordon, or hell, maybe even Dean himself. He ignored it all and ran as fast as he could away from the one person who was supposed to have his back, supposed to support him and love him for the rest of their lives.

Castiel had been a fool.

“I waited for him,” Cas hiccuped against Mick’s chest. “Even after all he had said, I waited for him for three goddamn hours by the Impala. He never came for me.” The Omega sighed his whole body deflating in the Alpha’s arms. “True mate or not, how could I have let him mate me when he couldn’t even stand up for me or what we had? God,” Cas growled as his fingers tightened in the meat of his thighs, “how could I have been so fuckin’ stupid?”

“You were in love,” Mick took Cas’ face in his hands and pulled him up to meet his eyes. “And he was the stupid one.” The Alpha gave him a small smile as he thumbed away the tears that freely streamed down Cas’ face. “He didn’t deserve you Castiel, and he sure as hell doesn’t deserve the tears you have shed over him.”

“Castiel?” Dean’s voice was soft, timid, and so very unlike the Dean Winchester Castiel had known.

Mick stiffened beside him and turned, shielding Castiel’s body as he faced Dean. “Go back inside, Winchester.”

“I didn’t come to talk to you, Mick. If… if Castiel wants me to go back inside, I will. I just…” Dean’s voice broke off and Castiel heard his feet stop on the pavement. He knew without looking, Dean was standing at the bottom of the steps waiting.

“Not now, Dean,” Cas rasped out not even looking at Dean, keeping his face buried in Mick’s chest. “Just. Not. Now.”

Dean swallowed hard, staring at the image of Castiel bent over into Mick’s arms, his shoulders shaking. The acrid scent of his tears marred his wild honeysuckle and jasmine scent, the scent Dean recognized earlier. He tried to force himself to turn back, to go inside, to listen to Castiel’s wishes… but…

“Cas,” he said instead, hating how his voice broke, “I… when, then?”

“How about never, Winchester?” Mick fired back, voice snapping and causing both Dean and Castiel to flinch. “He told you to leave.”

Dean nodded, meeting Mick’s eyes and nodding again. He wasn’t interested in getting into a fight. He let his eyes roll over Cas once more, his heart clenching when they passed over the scarred area of his throat, the skin reddened and much larger than Dean’s bite once had been.

Castiel had removed it, had removed Dean.

He blew out a breath, regretting the amount of whiskey he’d drunk before this, and hating the telltale prick of tears that were stinging his eyes. He needed to leave. Castiel had made his wishes abundantly clear. He needed to respect that, needed to respect Castiel. But he needed to say it, if only just once.

“I… I’m leaving,” he said quickly, placating Mick as best as he could, “but… I never got to say this years ago. I… I looked for you, I made Benny drive me around for hours, but you weren’t home or at any of our places… and then you weren’t at school the next day, or the day after, and...” Dean snapped his mouth shut, realizing he was rambling. “I’m sorry, Castiel. I fucked up and I… I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. You don’t owe me anything, but, I just… I just wanted you to know that I was sorry, for whatever that’s worth.”

Dean waited a moment, Mick’s eyes narrowing as he stared Dean down, and Dean turned, seeing Benny standing at the doors to the gym, waiting for him with Andrea.

“Goodbye,” Dean whispered, knowing Castiel probably hadn’t heard him, but needing to tell himself that this was goodbye more than anything. It was over, once and for all. He’d spent five years searching for Castiel -- had begged the Novak’s, written letters to Castiel’s older brother’s, showed up at Gabriel’s house more than once. He deferred his own college admittance to search the campuses around the country that he’d known Castiel had applied to, getting thrown out of countless dorm rooms and even arrested twice for trespassing. He’d nearly drowned himself in whiskey and picked up a few other questionable coping mechanisms that came in the form of pills or powder, until Sam had threatened to have John invoke temporary guardianship and get him committed to drug and alcohol rehab.

Then he spent eight months on Sammy’s couch, questioning his life, his very existence, until Sam came home one day and found Dean in the bathroom, Cas’ name on his lips as he bled out in the bathtub. At that point, Sam had invoked their father to gain temporary guardianship and Dean spent a year in a facility, learning how to pretend to be normal.

He felt the itch underneath his skin now, knew he would be calling up his rehab buddy Charlie to talk her ear off until the sun had risen, and ached for the bottle in his backseat.

But, at least it was over. Castiel, although upset now, was okay. He looked damn fucking good, too, and Dean was happy for him. Lucifer had it wrong, all those years ago, it was Dean that didn’t deserve someone as amazing as Castiel. And if Mick Davies had taken Dean’s place, was able to make Cas smile again, was able to love him? Dean sure as hell wasn’t going to get in the way of that.

He turned, grateful that he didn’t stumble, and kept his eyes pinned to Benny’s chest. He just had to get there, just had to get to Benny, and then they would get Dean to the hotel...

“I was at the Impala, Dean.” Cas straightened up, looking at Dean for the first time since the Alpha had come out there. “I waited for you and you never came.”

Dean stopped short at Castiel’s voice, squeezing his eyes shut as he listened. “What?” he asked after a moment, slowly turning around. “When?”

“After you broke my heart, after you called me an Omega bitch and told me to bend over.” Cas’ voice rose with every word he spoke. “I still wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. You were my true mate, Dean. I loved you and you couldn’t stand up to a few dumb jocks for me. But yet,” Cas huffed a self deprecating laugh. “I still waited there by your car for you for hours.”

There was the shuffling of more people coming out onto the pavement, Benny’s hushed voice as he either told them to go back inside or to fuck off, but Dean could only stare at Castiel. His eyes were bloodshot, still full of tears, but so damn beautiful it made Dean’s heart ache.

“I didn’t think to look-” he shook his head, cutting himself off. It didn’t matter if he’d found Cas or not, not really. That’s not where the problem started, and they both knew that. He swallowed hard and met his mate’s eyes. “I was a coward,” he whispered licking his lower lip slowly. “I was… I was afraid of… I don’t even know anymore. Of losing friends? Of being made fun of? I… really don’t know. All I know is that what I should have been afraid of was losing you, because nothing… nothing hurt more than that.”

“You hurt?” Cas scoffed as he stood up. “You want to talk about pain, Dean?” Cas took a few steps forward, invading Dean’s personal space as he growled. “Pain is having your Alpha reject you cruely. Pain was almost dying during my next heat after you tossed me aside because my inner Omega knew it’s mate was out there and didn’t want me. Pain is being rushed to the hospital half dead and still fighting the doctors when they told me I would not survive if they didn’t remove the mark. You know what I told them?” Cas’ hand reached up and brushed his throat where Dean’s mark had been, “I told them to just let me die. I had no Alpha, I lost my true mate. I didn’t want to live.” Cas shook with anger as he shoved the Alpha’s chest. “So fuck you, Dean! You know nothing of pain!”

Dean allowed himself to be shoved back, forcing himself to keep his hands at his sides despite everything in him screaming out to pull his mate in, to comfort him. His throat felt tight, tears stinging his eyes as he searched Castiel’s angry expression.

“You’re right,” he whispered, “I know nothing of your pain. I had no idea what you went through in the years we were apart… And that’s my fault.” Dean tore his eyes away from Cas’, unable to stomach the hatred he saw there. “I hurt you, Cas. I made you feel rejected, unwanted, unloved… all because I couldn’t tell a group of tool bags they were wrong, couldn’t tell them that I loved you. You were everything to me, Cas, and I didn’t…” Dean closed his eyes and snapped his mouth shut, trying to gather his thoughts and keep his voice from shaking.

“This looks familiar,” Lucifer cut in as soon as Dean opened his mouth to continue.

Dean opened his eyes and saw Castiel’s attention was over his shoulder now, his posture less angry and more defensive.

“Winchester and the Omega bitch,” Lucifer smirked, clapping Dean on the shoulder. “Though I hear through the grapevine there’s a bit more to the story?”

Dean shrugged Lucifer’s hand off his shoulder, scowling as he took a step away from him. “You don’t know shit, Lucifer.”

Lucifer raised an eyebrow and smiled slowly, flashing all of his teeth as he looked between them. “I don’t? So you didn’t publically humiliate your mate, Winchester, just for a few shits and giggles with your teammates? We knew, you know,” Lucifer lowered his voice and took a step closer to Dean. “Michel and I knew you were fooling around with the geeky Omega, knew you were ‘falling’ for him.” Lucifer smiled again before relaxing his face, dropping it into a frown. “And oh no, now the little Omega bitch is bending over for some other Alpha. He couldn’t have been that good if you let him go that easy, right, Dean?”

Dean reacted quickly, lunging forward and slamming a fist into Lucifer’s face, knocking the other Alpha onto the pavement. The look of indignation on Lucifer’s face was short lived as he lashed out, kicking Dean’s left knee and taking him down. Dean hissed out in pain as he slammed into the pavement, but moved quickly as Lucifer came at him, grabbing the other Alpha’s wrist and twisting hard, forcing him back down onto the dirt.

He climbed over Lucifer’s body, slamming his fist into the side of his head again, ignoring the twinge of pain in the mottled scars on his wrist. Lucifer’s fingernails found their way beneath his jacket, clawing at him, scratching him, but Dean couldn’t stop.

“You will never call him that again,” Dean heard himself yelling, every other word enunciated with a punch, “he’s better than you could ever dream to be, better than me, better than anyone! If you have to utter a single fucking word to him, you will do so respectfully and you better fucking pray--”

“Dean!” Benny yelled, his arms closing over Dean’s chest and pinning his arms as he tried to haul him backwards. “Dean, stop, brotha, stop!”

“If he even fucking thinks--”

“Dean, I swear to God if you don’t stop struggling, I’ll let Andrea pull your ass out of here!”

Benny jerked him hard, the two of them falling backwards into the dirt. Lucifer stayed where he was, groaning, blood seeping from his nose and various cuts on his cheeks and above his eye.

“Cops are comin’, we need to go.”

Dean nodded, his entire body shaking with rage. Two sets of hands helped Dean to his feet and he turned to see Gordon Walker looking sheepishly back at him.

“I… didn’t know,” Gordon said softly, and Dean nodded once before letting Benny pull him away.

“Fuck, Dean,” Benny swore beneath his breath, reaching for Dean’s arms and pulling up his sleeves to look at the damage Lucifer’s nails caused. He waited for Benny to say something, but the Omega just shook his head and pulled his sleeves back down. “You’re a fucking moron.”

“I lost him, Benny,” Dean whispered back, leaning into his friend, all of his strength leaking away now that his adrenaline rush was coming down. “I lost everything.”

“Come on,” Benny ignored him and prodded him forward, nodding as Andrea fell instep beside them, “we’re gonna get you home and cleaned up, then you’re calling that brother of yours.”

Dean nodded and let himself be shoved into the backseat of Andrea’s Volvo, laying his head against the cool glass and watching the final bits of the crowd rushing around, to their cars or back inside. He searched every figure for a dark haired man, but Castiel was long gone.

Dean closed his eyes.

After Benny had hauled Dean off of Lucifer and disappeared before the police could show up, Cas had returned to wait by the Impala for Dean just as he had five years ago. As the minutes ticked by, his heart ached as it had before with the prospect Dean might not show up. And he didn’t, but Benny had.

Cas talked to the other Omega and told him he needed to speak to Dean again, that he needed the answers Dean had been trying to give him before they were interrupted. Cas watched as Benny thought it over before letting out a long sigh and telling him where Dean was staying. All he asked was that Cas give him a couple days before going to him, scaring him slightly when he said Dean wouldn’t be in a ‘good state of mind’. Cas had reluctantly agreed and left the parking lot feeling lighter than he had in over five years.

So here Castiel stood, three days later, his hand shaking when he raised it to knock on the motel door where Dean was staying, his stomach twisting with nerves as he waited for it to be answered. The Omega held his breath as he heard movement from within the room getting closer to the door. The look of pure shock on Dean’s face when he swung open the door, as if he was questioning the fact that Cas was really here, made the Omega smile as he whispered...

“Hello Dean.”

“Cas?” Dean swallowed hard, blinking against the harsh sunlight and feeling exposed in his white t-shirt and boxers. He wished he’d at least thrown a robe on… “I wasn’t expecting… I mean… Uh.”

“As always, such a way with words. Some things never change.” Cas shook his head chuckling softly. “How about we start with you inviting me in so we can talk?”

“Right,” Dean said quickly and moved back, letting Cas slip into the room. “Um, let me just…” he trailed off and moved over to his suitcase, bending down to find the cleanest pair of jeans he had, pulling them on quickly before turning to look back at Cas. “You look good,” he said softly, then looked away, flushing. “Sorry,” he added quickly.

“It’s okay, Dean.” Cas replied in a whisper. “You, uh, you look good also. Well,” Cas reached up to touch Dean’s bruised cheek, pulling away at the last minute before his fingers grazed the Alpha’s skin. “All but that nasty shiner Lucifer gave you.”

Dean gave a small smile and stepped back, sinking down into the desk chair and waving his arm at the end of the bed. “You can sit,” he offered, letting his hands rest on his legs and looking down at his toes digging into the carpet. “I’m sorry Lucifer got involved the other night. No one should ever call you that.” Dean shrugged and glanced up, meeting Cas’ eyes as he sank down to sit on the edge of the mattress. “I’m sorry I ever did.”

“I could care less what that bag of dicks calls me, Dean. But you,” Cas sighed, “when you said those things to me the day after you mated me, after I shared my heat with you... after all the promises you whispered in my ear when you made love to me? My heart shattered.”

“I know,” Dean answered softly, keeping his eyes trained on the carpet. He could barely handle Castiel’s anger from the few nights before, hearing his disappointment and heartbreak were bad enough. “I hurt you, Cas, irreparably so. There’s nothing I can say to take that back. I am sorry, though, I am so fucking sorry… every single day since then, I’ve regretted it and wished I could do something to take that moment back. I didn’t mean it, not a single word. But… I hurt you anyways.”

Dean kicked at the carpet and drew his leg up onto the chair, hugging his knee to his chest and ignoring the bite of Lucifer’s scratch marks pressing into the denim. “You’re the last person I ever wanted to hurt, Cas. I loved you, I never-” Dean snapped his mouth shut, swallowing down the rest of his words. I never stopped loving you. Castiel was mated now, had moved on. He didn’t need Dean and his empty words anymore.

“Why did you keep it, Dean?” At the Alpha’s confused look, Cas tapped the side of his throat. “Why do you still bare my mark? It’s been five years and with how our biology is wired, you can’t move on with my bite still in your skin.”

“I know,” Dean whispered, fingers raising up to trail across the bite before he covered it with his palm and hiding it from Castiel’s view. “I’m sorry if it bothers you…”

“That doesn’t answer my question, Dean.”

Dean’s eyes trailed up, meeting Castiel’s for a moment. “I bear the mark of my true mate, Castiel. There’s no one else for me, whether he’s with me or not. I don’t… there is no moving on for me. So removing it was never an option.”

“I had no choice,” Cas murmured. “After I told the doctors no, my fever spiked and I seized. They did what they had to to save my life. But it wasn’t my choice.”

“I’m glad they did,” Dean whispered, watching Cas’ eyebrow raise. “Your life is more important than me, Cas. I’m glad they removed it. It allowed you to move on, to move forward. I’m sure that Mick is a much better mate than I ever would’ve been.” Dean gave what he hoped was a reassuring smile and resisted the urge to rub his forearms, pressing his wrists harder into his knee instead. “You two look good together.”

“Mick?” Cas furrowed his brows in confusion. “You think I’m with Mick?” The Omega shook his head. “Dean, do you not remember the rumors about Mick and his preferences to other Alphas? How he and Ketch were an item?”

Dean shrugged his shoulders, watching an array of emotions play out over Castiel’s face. He wished he could read him as easy as he could years ago… “Vaguely?” Dean answered. “But, to be fair, there were a lot of rumors going around that school and only a handful of them were based on fact.”

“Well,” Cas smiled. “That one was one hundred percent true. He and Ketch have been mated for three years now. Mick came with me last night as moral support. Ketch was busy with work and told Mick to go because they didn’t want me going alone.” The Omega sighed as he met Dean’s eyes. “Even though my mark has been removed, it’s always been you, Dean, only you.”

“Cas…” Dean whispered, suddenly nervous at the look Castiel was pinning him with. He felt a pang of excitement at Castiel’s declaration, before guilt overtook it. He’d ruined Castiel for anyone else… “If you want someone else, I would never… You can find someone else. If they didn’t remove your mark properly, we can find someone that specializes-”

Castiel dropped to his knees before the chair, pulling Dean’s hands down and making the Alpha’s knee drop back down. “You’re not understanding me, Dean.”

Dean swallowed hard, staring down at Cas, shivering at the contact of his mate’s skin finally touching him again, no matter how innocent the touch was. “I don’t… I don’t know what you want from me, Cas,” Dean said softly.

“Oh, Dean,” Cas sighed as his thumbs ran across the puckered scarred flesh along his Alpha’s wrists. His blue eyes swam with tears as he met Dean’s. “I was so very wrong, it looks like you know something about pain, too.”

“I didn’t know how to live without you,” Dean whispered, resisting the urge to pull his arms free and fold them over his chest. Castiel’s fingers traced every inch, just barely pressing, and Dean closed his eyes as a tear slipped down his cheek. “I’m still pretty shit at it.”

“That makes two of us,” Cas admitted as he brought Dean’s wrist up to his lips kissing them gently. “Every damn day I wake up, I follow the same routine, the whole time trying to ignore the huge void in my chest where my heart used to be.” The Omega sighed as he sank back on his haunches. “I’m still hurt and I can’t forgive you overnight. It will take time, Dean. But I would rather spend that time trying to make things work with you than living in this empty existence I call my life.”

Dean swallowed hard, sinking down to the floor, the Alpha’s knees framing Castiel’s. “Are you saying…” Dean trailed off as Castiel reached for him again, taking both of his hands in his own. “I don’t deserve you,” Dean whispered, more tears coming to his eyes as he wrapped his arms around Castiel’s back, hesitating until Castiel returned the embrace before pulling his mate in and pressing his nose into Cas’ throat. “I’m so sorry, I’ve missed you so much.”

Dean pressed his nose into the base of Castiel’s throat, scenting him deeply, and letting his mate’s scent calm him the rest of the way.

Castiel reached up and slowly started carding his fingers through Dean’s hair. “I’ve missed you too, Dean, so, so much.” The Omega pulled back and gave his Alpha a small smile. “Every damn day for the past five years I’ve missed you. No matter how pissed and hurt I was, I never stopped missing you.” Cas pressed his forehead to Dean’s and took a deep breath as he spoke, “I never stopped loving you.”

Dean swallowed hard and reached up, letting his fingers trail over Castiel’s cheek, down the back of his neck, and then back up. He slid his hand up the back of Castiel’s head and pulled them in, sealing their lips together in a gentle kiss. Castiel met him with a small, pleased gasp, and Dean drank it in.

Castiel’s lips were soft, warm against his; it was easy to ignore the slight bite of pain from his swollen cheek and cut on his lip, because Dean was finally home.

He’d had dreams of this, of finding Castiel again, apologizing and groveling, and having Castiel fall back into his arms. He’d always woken up, shaking and nauseous, convinced that reality would never play out to that; Dean didn’t deserve it, didn’t deserve the beautiful Omega now pressing closer to him, didn’t deserve Castiel’s hands twisting in his shirt and holding him tight. And yet…

“Cas,” Dean gasped into Castiel's mouth as the Omega moved forward, pushing Dean back and climbing up onto his lap. Castiel’s body was a line of heat, his scent surrounding every one of Dean’s senses. He let his hands trail down Castiel’s back, holding him closer against his chest as he struggled to his feet, lifting the Omega in the air with him.

Three steps forward and Dean gently laid Castiel out on the mattress, climbing up over him and stopping, just inches of air between them.

“Is this… is this okay?” Dean whispered, searching Castiel’s eyes for permission.

“Five years, Dean.” The Omega reached up and twined his hands around the back of his mate’s neck. “I’ve waited five years for my Alpha to kiss me, to touch me again.” His eyes softened as he met Dean’s, “You’re my True Mate, Dean. I want you, and if you’ll have me--”

Dean closed the distance between them, rolling his hips down as he found Castiel’s lips again, silencing the rest of his words. Castiel hooked his leg over Dean’s hip, holding him in place, as if he were still afraid Dean would suddenly disappear, as if that were an option now.

Dean traced the seam of Castiel’s lips, groaning when his Omega opened for him. He kissed Castiel until they were breathless, the scent of Cas’ slick permeating the air and making Dean’s inner Alpha roar in delight.

“I love you,” Dean whispered against Castiel’s lips, “I will tell you that every day for the rest of our lives.”

“I love you too, Dean.” Cas purred as he nibbled on his mate’s plump bottom lip. “Now, Alpha, why don’t you show me just how much you have missed me.”

Dean smiled and kissed him once more before leaning back, letting his hands trail down his mate’s chest, fingers slipping beneath the fabric of Castiel’s shirt and slowly drawing it back up. He leaned down, pressing his lips against every inch of skin he exposed, loving every shiver he got back in response.

He flicked a tongue over Castiel’s left nipple, the Omega gasping, fingernails digging into Dean’s shoulder blades. Then, suddenly, they were flipped, Castiel’s eyes beautiful and lust blown as they looked down at Dean.

“Not fast enough,” Castiel whispered, leaning back to rip his shirt off the rest of the way, then reaching for Dean’s. Dean let out a small chuckle, sitting up enough for them to free him of his white shirt, then pulled Castiel down against him.

“Eager,” Dean smirked as Cas’ hands fumbled with the button on his jeans.

“Five years,” Cas glared at his Alpha as he unzipped Dean’s jeans and jerked them along with his boxers down his legs. “Five long years with just my hand and a few heat toys to keep me company. So yes,” Cas grinned victoriously as he tossed the denim and cotton aside and drank in the form of his Alpha laying naked and hard on the bed. “I’m a little eager.”

“Fuck,” Dean whispered, reaching out to free Castiel of the rest of his clothing, hands moving to cup the swell of his mate’s ass and pull them together. Castiel hissed, rolling his hips down, and Dean groaned as their cocks slid together.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Dean gasped as Castiel repeated the motion, his turn now to smirk down at the Alpha.

“Dean,” Cas mewled as he felt a wave a slick gush from his hole and coat his mate’s thighs. The Alpha scented the air and growled as his fingers twitched and tightened on Cas’ hips. “I want, I need, I-I...” the Omega trailed off, whining low in his throat as his mind buzzed, erratic and overwhelmed with emotion.

Cas pitched forward and buried his nose in his mate’s throat taking in his scent as he trailed his tongue over the mating mark that marred Dean’s skin. The mark he had put there in a needy moment of love and passion. A moment much like this one. “You,” Cas placed a kiss to the mark and raised up just enough to meet his mate’s eye. “I need you.”

“Okay,” Dean whispered back, nodding his head. “Okay, I got you, Cas.” He reached behind, slipping two finger’s into Castiel’s slick-soaked hole, groaning at the sudden wet heat surround his fingers. Castiel moaned loudly, another gush of slick pulsing out, coating Dean’s fingers as he twisted them deeper.

“Dean,” Castiel breathed against his throat, teeth grazing against his mark, rolling his hips back into Dean’s fingers. “Dean, please.”

“I got you, Cas,” Dean repeated, letting a third finger slip in, making sure his mate was open and ready. He rolled his head to the side, capturing Castiel’s lips again as he found his mate’s prostate, swallowing the broken moan that fell from his mate’s lips.

“I’m ready, Dean!”

Dean smiled at his mate’s eagerness, but felt exactly the same. He’d never felt this way before, like if he wasn’t joined with Castiel he would cease to exist. Even their first time, even sharing Castiel’s heat and the night they sealed their bond, Dean had never felt so raw or open. The past five years, he’d been incomplete, a huge part of him missing, ripped away by his own stupidity and insecurity. He’d never imagined getting it back, not truly, never imagined being able to have this.

But he needed Castiel, needed him to feel complete again, to feel whole. Every part of him was crying out for his mate, not just for the feeling of him pressed hot and tight against him, but for everything he represented: hope, conviction, love.

Dean knew he had a long way to go to earn back his mate’s trust, but he meant what he said: he would spend every single day telling and showing Castiel how much he loved him, cherished him, and accepted him despite not truly deserving him. He would spend the rest of his life making sure he was worthy of the gift he was given back.

He looked up, locking eyes with Castiel as he reached between them, guiding himself to his mate’s hole and pressing slowly inside.

“Oh God,” Cas moaned as he slowly sank down on his Alpha’s length. “So full, so good,” he keened as he swiveled his hips, gasping when the head of Dean’s cock nudged his prostate. The Omega’s body quivered; he felt peace and pleasure. For the first time in years he felt whole, complete.

“Fuck, Cas,” Dean groaned as his fingers tangled in his mate’s hair. “Missed you.” He gripped the base of his Omega’s neck and pulled him down, his breath coming out in hot puffs against Cas’ mouth. “I missed you so damn much.”

Dean tugged Castiel’s bottom lip into his mouth, sucking on it gently until Cas gasped and opened, allowing his Alpha’s tongue entrance. Both men groaned as the Omega slowly gyrated on Dean’s cock, their tongues tangled and massaging against the others as both men deepened the kiss. It was easy to get lost in the feel of the other, especially after so much time they’d missed out on.

The Omega rose up and continued the languid, teasing, up-and-down motion of his hips as his mate looked on with hooded eyes. Dean’s hands skated down Cas’ lower back, tracing the knobs of his spine until he reached his ass, gripping the round globes and dipping his finger between them, feeling where their bodies were joined as one.

Dean smiled up at his mate, hardly trusting that he had this again. Castiel was beautiful, his skin flushed and scent radiating both want and need. This, right here, was all Dean ever needed. Cas’ skin was warm beneath his hand and the Alpha gripped his hips and thrust up, relishing the needy moan and the way his Omega shuddered in his grasp.

“More,” Cas keened and threw his head back, “give me more!”

Dean licked his lips as he rocked up again, meeting Cas as he sank down. Castiel cried out, urging Dean on. His eyes caught the long length of his mate’s throat, sliding down to the patch of discoloration where his mark used to be. His mouth watered as he thought of sinking his teeth into his mate’s skin once more, marking his milky white flesh, permanent this time.

The urge to claim and mate rose to the surface, and Dean growled as he wrapped his arms around Castiel’s hips and back, rolling them on the mattress. His inner Alpha clawed just beneath his skin, howling, desperately wanting to be freed. But he needed permission, needed Cas to want this too… He stared down at his Omega, breath coming out in short bursts as he pulled back. His cock slipped free from his mate’s dripping hole, and Cas whined as he stared up at Dean with lust blown eyes, watching as Dean fisted his thick, slick-soaked cock.

Castiel groaned; he knew that look in his Alpha’s eyes, knew what he was asking, and he quickly scrambled to roll over, pushing up onto his knees and presenting so perfectly for his mate. “Come on, Dean,” Cas purred as he glanced over his shoulder with a sly smirk. “Take me. Mate me, Alpha.”

An animalistic growl tore its way from Dean’s throat as he lunged forward and mounted his Omega. His cock rutted between Cas’ wet ass cheeks before catching on his rim, popping past the tight ring of muscle and sliding in in one smooth, rough thrust. Cas keened and mewled beneath him as Dean ravaged his body, the sound of skin meeting skin, grunts and groans, filling the room along with the thick scent of mating pheromones. Together, they were drunk on it, the perfect atmosphere to bring them together once more.

“My Omega,” Dean groaned as he dug his fingers into Cas’ hips, fucking into him like a wild beast. Cas purred again, quivering in his mate’s hold, his knuckles white as his fingers clutched the sheets. “My perfect, beautiful, mate,” Dean praised, snapping his hips and plunging deeper into the tight, wet heat of Cas’ body.

Cas’ cock, hard and dripping, slid against the sheets where it was pressed beneath him. “Dean,” Castiel gasped, torn between pressing back into his mate and fucking himself forward, pursuing the perfect friction.

The Alpha growled as he leaned down and nipped at Cas’ shoulder. “You feel that, baby?”

“Fuck, oh fuck yes!” Cas cried out at the feel of his Alpha’s slightly swollen knot smacking against his slick entrance. The dirty, delicious, wet squelching sound that filled the room with every push of Dean’s hips had both Alpha and Omega chasing their release.

Cas keened as Dean’s knot started to blossom, tugging on his rim with every push into his body. The Omega’s entire being quaked as the head of Dean’s cock struck his prostate over and over.

“So good,” Dean moaned as his hand trailed down his mate’s sweaty chest, feeling his muscles dance under his touch. The Alpha reached the thatch of hair between his mate’s legs,“You feel so damn good. I wanna make you feel good too, baby,” and he fisted his Omega’s rock hard cock. “Come for me, Cas.”

“Yes,” Cas hissed as he bucked his hips forward into Dean’s solid grip. The Alpha rumbled deep in his chest as he started stroking his mate’s cock in time with his rapid thrusts.

“Come,” Dean growled again, and with that one command, Cas’ entire body drew tight like a bow string and he painted the sheets and Dean’s fingers with sticky ropes of come.

The Alpha’s hand clutched at his mate’s hips as he fucked Cas harder and faster, the Omega’s inner walls spasming and clenching around his cock as he came. Slick poured from the Omega as Dean pushed in one final time, his knot swelling to completion as he spilled his seed, filling his mate with thick hot bursts and marking Cas as his from the inside.

“Please,” Cas whispered and bared his throat, shivering as Dean’s cock twitched and filled him with more of his spend. “I want it back. I want the mark of my one true mate in my skin again.”

“Cas,” Dean whispered back, mouth finding the back of his neck and kissing him, groaning into his skin. Dean’s arms moved around Castiel’s chest, pulling him back, pulling him ever closer. “Forever, this time.”

“Please,” Cas reached up, gripping Dean’s hair hard between his fingers, guiding his Alpha to his exposed throat, his other hand gripping tight to the Alpha’s knee on the other side of him. Dean’s nose brushed against the shell of Castiel’s ear, his tongue darting out to taste the saltiness of his skin, before he found his spot and sank his teeth in.

Castiel cried out, pleasure-pain coursing through him. His fingers tightened their hold on his mate and Dean groaned into his skin, rolling his hips forward and releasing another load of come.

Dean released his throat, licking the tender spot carefully and then pulling them down onto the mattress, avoiding Castiel’s spend on the sheets. He held Castiel close, hand running up and down his arm, his side, over his hip, letting both of them catch their breaths.

Castiel stopped Dean’s movement by reaching back and finding his hand, linking their fingers together and pulling their joined hands over his heart. He found himself smiling, sinking back into his Alpha’s heat, comfortable, sated, and content. Happy, Castiel found himself drifting off.

When he came to, Dean’s knot had come down and his Alpha was sliding off the side of the bed. Castiel raised his head, wincing slightly at the pull of his renewed mark and the stiffness of his muscles to find Dean’s eyes in the dim evening light.

“Shh,” Dean whispered, leaning back over and brushing Cas’ hair away from his forehead, pressing his lips to his mate’s softly, “just getting something to clean you up. I’ll be right back.”

Castiel nodded, sinking back into the pillow Dean must have managed to get beneath his head, shivering against the sudden cold now that his Alpha wasn’t pressed against him. The bed dipped as Dean returned, a warm wash cloth wiping over Castiel’s skin and between his legs, cleaning up the dried slick and come left on him.

Dean looked down at Cas, his mate moving slightly when he needed him to, completely trusting. God, Cas was beautiful. When he was satisfied Castiel was clean, he dropped the wash cloth to the side of the bed and freed the comforters from where they’d gotten crammed and caught at the end of the bed. Then, he crawled back up to Cas’ body, wrapping himself around his mate and pulling the Omega back against his chest, covering them both in blankets.

The silence that followed was comfortable, content, and Dean felt himself lost in it for a moment, suddenly overwhelmed with emotions. Castiel was here, with him, wrapped tightly and safe in his arms. His Omega smelled like home and happiness, Dean had his mate back.

He nuzzled the back of Castiel’s neck, leaning up to softly kiss the healing mark and smiling as Cas shivered in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” Dean whispered, shifting as Castiel turned in his arms.

Cas smiled softly, finding Dean’s lips in a soft kiss.

“There’s nothing to apologize for, not anymore,” Cas answered back, tucking his head in close and kissing Dean’s mark. He settled against the Alpha’s chest, pressing his ear over his mate’s heart. “We’re good, Dean, okay? We will take our time learning each other again, find all the things we love, learn all the things we hate. We’re going to be stronger, Dean, I know it.”

Dean nodded, pressing his face into Cas’ hair and breathing him in. Cas chuckled softly against his throat, knowing full well Dean was still apologizing in his head.

“You’re allowed to feel regret, Dean. You’re allowed to be sad of the time we missed out on. I am, too. But you’re not allowed to let that consume you. Together we will move forward, we’ll focus on our happiness and our future. Learn from the past, but don’t dwell in it.”

Castiel knew that he, too, couldn’t dwell on the past, despite what he had said earlier. He’d forgiven Dean already. They’d been young and Dean had made a stupid mistake, and Cas knew in his heart he would trust his Alpha again. He would never forget-- couldn’t forget-- nor did he want to. They would learn from it. Castiel would learn from it and from every experience he’d had over the past five years, and they would be stronger for it.

“When did you become so wise?” Dean mumbled into his hair, Castiel’s hands stilling from where they were rubbing against Dean’s back.

Castiel smiled again and kissed Dean’s throat. “Probably when I studied copious amounts of literature for my doctorate. Or,” he paused, soothing the sudden stiffness in Dean’s muscles, “I was just that damn wise all along.”

Dean nodded, relaxing back into Cas’ arms. “I love you, Castiel.”

“I love you, too, Alpha.”