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Ever since Sirius had returned, Remus noticed a sort of barrier between them. He couldn't tell exactly what it was, but he knew it was getting in the way of rekindling their relationship. They were currently sitting just inside the Three Broomsticks Inn, Remus working on a plate of eggs and sausage while Sirius had some pumpkin juice and a cigarette.
"I just--" Sirius was in the middle of arguing.
"You slept with someone didn't you?"
Sirius balked. "No! I-"
"When?"
"...About two weeks ago." Remus sighed, and Sirius threw up his arms. "What?! I've been starving for a good shag since Azkaban, and she was gorgeous, like--" the animagus was momentarily distracted by a passing barmaid.
"Like that one?" Remus sighed, looking back down to his food. Sirius groaned.
"The engine's been revved for years, there's no stopping it, you see. But her breasts were right up there-- I mean right up in my face, and then she just grabbed me like it was the last thing she would do--"
"Spare me the details, kindly," Remus muttered, and rubbed his temples, dropping his fork. "I understand. Sirius, I do. I get it. But you know... you could have simply asked me."
Sirius suddenly looked nervous, pattering one hand against his mug. Remus knew this look-- this was the "I'm Finally Going To Confess To My Feelings" look.
"Mooney, I..." Sirius began, "I wanted to, but--"
"But what?" Remus turned fully, snapping at the shorter man, "But it just isn't there any more?" Sure, it was dramatic, but if Sirius got to be dramatic all the bloody time, Remus could for once as well.
Sirius looked almost heartbroken, though. "No! Moons... Remus, I spent every day in that little room, thinking of your eyes, of your smile, of you. It's the only thing that got me through-- that, and Harry. It's just..." His gaze fell down. "It's been 12 years. The last time we dropped our trousers for each other, we were still in school."
Remus' expression softened, and he thought about this. It had been over a decade since they had last slept together, and while they used to go at it at least three times a day, (Sirius' stamina was incredibly impressive), Remus could understand his old partner's insecurities. He had some of his own, of course-- he had kept himself in good shape, but 12 years later, there were sure to be some differences, right? As he thought of the two of them now, vividly pictured in his mind trying to act like their 25-year-old selves in the bedroom, he began to laugh, stealing Sirius' cigarette and taking a drag himself.
"Yes, you're right. It might be a tad awkward." Sirius smiled in relief, smile warm.
"Exactly, exactly! I didn't know if everything would be the same, and I was... well, quite frightened, to be honest."
Remus recovered from his coughing fit-- smoking again was a bad decision. "Frightened of what?"
And there was that vulnerable look again.
"Mucking it up. Mucking us up."
"As you said, Padfoot," Remus allowed himself an encouraging smile, "Nothing could ever do that."
"Then... I suppose I could let you get your hands on me."
"I don't know," Remus said primly, cutting his portion in half on the plate, "I don't want sloppy seconds."
"Seconds?!" Sirius let out a bellowing laugh so loud he attracted stares. "You do know how many people I've slept with, don't you Moons?"
Remus sighed. "Better than anyone, I'm afraid."
Sirius stole a potato from Remus' plate, and Remus on reflex pushed his plate toward his partner, just like old times. Sirius ate another one, and leaned forward.
"So... if I were to simply... propose we bang one out, right now, what would you say?"
Remus swallowed, looking around. "I don't think the innkeepers would appreciate that very much."
Sirius smirked. "There's a bedroom upstairs, just waiting to be borrowed."
"While defiling you in public at 4 in the afternoon certainly gets my blood going," Remus glanced at Sirius in deadpan, "--I don't think our first time after... after, should be a quickie." Despite this sentiment, he could already feeling himself stir at the carefree way his friend sat, jacket open to expose his gorgeously tattooed chest.
"Hmm," Sirius nodded, and took one last drag on his smoke, stubbing it out. "I know a place."
Remus blinked, dropped some money on the table, and let Sirius drag him by the hand out the front door.
"The shack?"
Sirius beamed proudly, nodding at the threadbare mattress he had been staying when he was in hiding from the dementors.
"Anywhere in Hogsmeade, and you take me to the shack," Remus repeated, and Sirius rolled his eyes.
"You and your expensive taste, I already offered to buy an inn room!"
"You have no money," Remus mentioned, glancing under a pillow to find a lovely little spiderweb.
"But I have my charm," Sirius winked, pecking Remus on the cheek.
"Unless that charm is 'stupify', I doubt we would have had a successful transaction," Remus smiled, and Sirius let out a groan, falling onto the mattress.
"Rems... it's not too bad. We spent lots of nights here, back in the day. Remember?" He kicked a broken floorboard. "Besides, it's... just like my old house. I'm used to doing it in places like these."
Remus' heart softened, and he sat down beside Sirius. "You may be used to it, my dear," he spoke softly, "But that does not mean you deserve it."
Sirius smiled a little, blue eyes searching Remus' butterscotch ones. "You're romantic, Moony. I'm feeling romantic, flatter me some more!"
"Goodness sake," Remus muttered, and Sirius chuckled, crossing his legs just like when he was a teenager.
"I missed this."
"Really?" Remus remarked, smiling gently, "Because I missed this." Leaning over, he cupped Sirius' stubbly cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss.
Sirius smiled through the kiss, cupping Remus' face back, and soon, they were back in the swing of things, kissing each other like no time had passed at all.
"You're still a brilliant kisser," Sirius breathed as they parted, "Had some practice while I was gone?"
Remus nodded with a dramatic sigh. "I'm afraid I have a confession. I've been seeing Minerva off and on since your incarceration, to cope with the pain of losing you."
"Minnie!" Sirius slapped Remus' shoulder. "You knew she was my girl, how dare you?"
They giggled together, thinking of course of the time Sirius asked McGonagall to the Yule Ball. Remus then took the opportunity to wrap his arms around Sirius, taking him down against the mattress. Breath mingling, both men rolled until Remus was on top, kissing deeply and keeping his palms over Sirius' shoulder. Sirius began to buck his hips up as the kissing went on, seeking friction, and Remus moaned against the shorter man's lips from above, one hand dragging up to grip Sirius' long, curly hair.
"You're still so beautiful," Remus sighed fondly, stroking his hair back and admiring his lover.
"Well, I should hope I am. I'd be begging for that dementor's kiss if I weren't." Remus shook his head, and collapsed laughing into Sirius' shoulder. He hadn't had a good laugh since his partner had been back, and it felt good. "Do you think the kids you teach know you're shagging a hardened criminal?" Sirius teased, reaching down to undo Remus' pants.
"I see no reason how they would," Remus scoffed, "I'm respectable--"
"You appear respectable."
"Yes, right, and I'm incredibly good at keeping secrets."
"Oh you are?" Sirius retorted, "As I recall, it was you who told Lily that James was stupidly in love with her."
"Your memory's going. It was James who told Lily that James was in love with her."
Sirius smirked. "Perhaps you're right. Man couldn't hold one thing in."
"No, indeed," Remus giggled, and they kissed again before the melancholic reminder that James and Lily weren't there any longer set in.
"Alright... now how are we going to do this?" Sirius whispered, looking down.
"Well... I think we used to... eh," Remus muttered, shimmying Sirius' pants down, "Here we are... alright..."
"Lube. Magic."
"Right."
"Mmm, yes, that feels right, yes," Sirius nodded, and they both fumbled around until--
"Ohhh," Sirius breathed, eyes rolling back. Remus smiled.
"Exact same spot."
"Exact... same spot," Sirius nodded frantically, rocking down onto Remus' fingers, "Oh that's just magnificent, Moony, just wonderful."
"Good, I was worried I lost my touch," Remus whispered against Sirius' neck.
"Not you," Sirius shook his head, "Not ever." Warmed by that comment, Remus went deeper, and Sirius groaned loader.
"C'mon Moons..." he suddenly grinned devilishly, "Let's help this place earn its name."
"Its wha--ohh!"
Sirius flipped them over so that he could ride Remus, and undid his partner's pants, lifting up and sinking down.
"Merlin's freeze-dried butterbeer, that's gorgeous," Remus blurted, and Sirius barked out a laugh, flipping his hair back to start riding properly.
"On on, my noble Hippogriff!" he joked, and Remus gave a rough thrust to shut him up. Sirius fell forward onto Remus' chest, the new angle hitting his sweet spot, and he bit his lip, stifling a moan.
"No... let me hear it, Pads," Remus smiled, "I want to hear it, after all this time, I've missed it so much."
"Ahhh... Remus, oh, you're big..."
"I thought of you every night."
"So did I!"
"You're better than I remembered."
"Ahhhh, harder Moons..."
Remus clutched Sirius sharp hip bones as they both rocked together. A few thrusts more, and Sirius cried out, coming hard over Remus' shirt. Remus turned on by the fact that he was covered in his lover's spending, came too, pounding them both through the sensations.
In a mix of breath and sweat and kisses, they lazily groped each other until they found themselves sliding apart, laying side by side, heads touching, on the mattress.
"You're just as much of a bloody firecracker in bed as you were in seventh year!" Sirius finally breathed, "Good god, I forgot how much you loved sex."
"I don't love sex," Remus scowled.
"Then how'd you get so good at it?" Sirius grinned, running a finger down the professor's heaving chest. This was a set-up, and Remus was walking right into it.
"Years of practice with you, you scoundrel," Remus said, and Sirius stole his wand.
"Accio blanket."
They huddled there together, listening to the sounds of the forest around them.
"Is this what Azkaban was like?" Remus murmured softly. Sirius frowned, looking up at him like he was crazy.
"Oh, sure. We cuddled with the dementors every night."
"Not that," Remus huffed, "The quiet. The feeling that there's no one around you for miles, and that you're all alone."
Sirius thought for a moment, settling into Remus' chest. He knew why Remus was asking. He knew Remus had felt alone all these years waiting for him, keeping his secret during full moons by himself. But Sirius' own experience couldn't be more different.
"No." He felt along Remus' scars with the rough pad of his thumb, "It wasn't ever quiet. Every minute of every day, the silence was swallowed up by the screams and cries of the insane, the murderous, and the hateful. I'll never forget the sound of them, Remus. I'll never forget what it was like to think I'd start to scream like them too."
Remus looked down to see the haunted look in Sirius' eyes.
"Perhaps, my dear... you can try."
They stared at one another, and hugged tighter, falling asleep to the howling wind and the sounds of their hearts beating together, once again.