Archive of Our Own

i know a boy whose little things prettier than most things i've ever encountered. i haven't lived a long time, though, since i just entered eighth grade this year. but i'm very much sure of my opinion. it was the shift from summer to fall when i first saw him at the school gate, with him wearing his warm blue hoodie and smiling at the sight of his friends. i had never seen him last year. was he a new student here? or did i never go out of my class to see anybody else except my classmates? i guess it's the latter because he seemed to have bunch of friends surrounding him as soon as he entered the school.

we ended up to be in the same class this year.

his name is renjun. i knew he was going to be the nicest person i've ever seen since the first time we met. he always smiles, a pretty one. a really pretty one, i must say. and he never acts rude to any one of our classmates like other boys. i like to stare at him when he's busy talking to his friends, and everybody else is busy with their own things, so no one can notice. it's amusing to see how his eyes sparkle when he looks at others, and wrinkle when he laughs. every other girls in my class would swoon over mark lee, our class president who's also the smartest one here. mark lee is also nice. but he doesn't have these little, small things renjun has.

renjun likes to bite his nails when he doesn't know what to say. i don't know if people notice this, but no one ever points that out. it could be when our english teacher asks him his opinion about some matter on our lesson, or that one time when one of his friends ask him who is the prettiest girl in our class. he's not so much of a good talker, but he has good hands to write and draw. he's the best one to write poetry in english class and he likes to doodle at the back of his workbook!

another little thing is that renjun grinds his teeth while eating jelly. he likes to eat jelly a lot, and one day his seatmate na jaemin found out something.

'you grind your teeth!'

he stopped chewing. 'did i?'

jaemin just nodded and continued writing his science journal task. but renjun started to think about that, perhaps confused. i started to think about that a lot too. why? jelly is not hard to chew. but that one is cute, and renjun thinking hard about that is also cute.

and my favorite one is renjun feeding stray cats at our school yard. i don't know how those cats could enter our school and why no one else except him notices them. at the end of lunch break, he would go to the yard and give them remainings of his food. he always gives them a lot. meanwhile i would sit at the bench behind them and read a book. he never notices, which is good because i don't want to seem like a scary girl stealing glances when he feeds the cats. his eyes would sparkle, and wrinkle as he smiles, then leave the yard with my heart also sparkling, then wrinkling.

but today, most especially, feels empty. renjun has to do a class with mr. nakamoto to practice his drawing. he's going to participate in a drawing competition representing our town, so he will be absent for some of our class this week. no him biting his nail and no him to feed the cats. i started to think about the cats and feel bad about them, so i decided to bring my lunch box to the yard and do what renjun always does.

i bring roasted fish today, which i don't really like, so i give them a lot. there are five of them who were already waiting for renjun to come, perhaps disappointed that the one who came was a girl with worried look. i thought they were going to run away, but they ended up eating the food i put on the ground. it actually feels nice looking at them eating, no wonder renjun always looks happy when he does this. i start to put on a smile.

'you don't read a book today?'

i almost jump out when i hear the voice. i turn around, renjun is standing with his lunch box on his hand. he looks exhausted, perhaps because of running. i don't say a thing, i really don't know what to say, so i turn my gaze back to the cats. why is he here? but renjun decides to sit beside me and open his lunch box.

'i guess i can eat all of my food today, since you already give them a lot.'

i still don't know what to say. my mind is dazing off thinking how all these time he knows i always read a book on the bench behind him. 'yes, i think so.'

renjun smiles, and i was not prepared, so i quickly look back at the cats. i can hear my heart races when he starts to eat his food beside me. 'i'm extremely hungry today.'

'i can guess so.' i reply shortly.

he doesn't reply after that. i'm looking at the cats, he's eating his lunch, and there are boys playing soccer at the main yard so it's not so quiet to make us feel awkward. i want to steal a glance, but i know he will notice.

'it must be tiring,' i say. he seems surprised, but not anymore after a few moments.

'it is, actually. but it's also fun, i like spending all day drawing like this rather than studying chemistry in class.' he laughs. i finally look at him again and laugh along. no one in our class likes chemistry except mark, everyone knows that.

'but i feel bad a bit about that--about missing classes. i don't think it's worth it.'

'what do you mean?'

'i don't draw so well,'

'what-'

'i'm afraid i will quickly lose on the first round.'

'you can't say something like that!' i scream a little, which surprises him. 'your drawings are really nice, i like them.'

'you do?'

'yes, especially the colors. also you shade them prettily. you shouldn't think like that, you're good.'

renjun doesn't say anything, but not a long time after that, he smiles. this time i don't turn away my gaze, to make him sure i meant what i said.

'i'm sure you'll do good.' i say quietly.

'thank you.'

the cats finish eating and start to find a place to sleep. the boys who play soccer finish playing and start to leave the yard with their ball. i don't say anything after that, and neither does renjun. the bell is going to ring in a few minutes.

'i'm going to continue practicing after this,' renjun says. i'm a little disappointed to know he's not going to be in the class after this. but i nod and smile at him.

'it actually feels nice.' he looks up at the warm blue sky.

i follow him looking up to the sky--it reminds me of the hoodie he wore at the first time we met. 'the weather?'

'no, talking to you.'

i don't reply. but he smiles and ruffles my hair while getting up. 'see you later.'

he walks to mr. nakamoto's class when the bell rings. i still haven't got up from the ground as i feel my knees numb. he ruffles people's hair--another little thing of his to add to the list. but the most important thing is that he did that to me, with his soft, small hand.

it feels nice--feeding cats, the weather, talking to him, and falling in love.

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