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Michael was high. That was totally why he was doing this. That’s totally why he had his hand on Jeremy’s cheek and was kissing him softly.
It had nothing to do with the fact that Jeremy was also high and had maybe worn short, tight clothing because he wanted Michael to see his ass. It also had nothing to do with the fact that Jeremy had brushed his lips earlier with his fingers and told him he was pretty. And it 100% wasn’t because he’d told Michael to kiss him just a minute ago.
‘Wait,’ he thought. It may have been because of that last one.
It had been almost a minute and Michael was still kissing him lightly. Jeremy’s eyes were also still open.
‘Uh, what do I do?’ Jeremy thought.
It felt good. But this was Michael! His best friend since kindergarten!
Jeremy pulled away. The loss of contact and warmth was surprising and made him feel…lonely.
Michael was looking at him kindly and had on a soft, ecstatic expression.
“What is it?” he asked softly, looking Jeremy in the eye. Jeremy avoided his gaze.
“Oh, you know,” his voice broke and he averted his gaze even more, if you could even do that. “I just, umm, am unsure about what just happened. I just got kissed by my best friend and it’s my fault I started it. Umm, how would you feel?”
Jeremy made eye contact with Michael again. Michael looked calm and thoughtful. He was smiling softly. Yep, Jeremy had to look away this time.
Michael moved closer to him, if that was even possible. He touched Jeremy’s cheek tenderly. Jeremy found himself leaning into the touch.
“I’ll show you how I feel,” he said lowly and he leaned in to kiss Jeremy again. He stopped right there, close enough that Jeremy could have reached out with his tongue and felt Michael’s lips. They were breathing the same air. Jeremy leaned his head that slight distance further to close the gap between them. Michael kissed Jeremy like he wanted him to be comfortable as can be. Jeremy kissed hesitantly, and he was thankful that Michael was willing to take it slow so he could think.
‘This felt nice,’ he thought. ‘Like how kissing should be.’
He was thinking about the brief encounters he’d had kissing Brooke, how they had always been short, meaningless things, where she had seemed to care less about the kiss and more that her makeup wouldn’t get smudged.
He thought of the brief encounter he’d had at the Halloween party last year with Chloe. The one kiss she’d forced on him was full of jealousy. He didn’t want to experience that again.
Michael seemed to be moving differently now. He had zoned out as he was thinking and now as he came back to be fully aware he realised they were sharing open mouth kisses. He broke off from it. He felt unsure.
Michael opened his eyes slowly.
“Are you okay?” he asked quietly.
Jeremy could only nod. Michael’s hand was still on his cheek. Jeremy looked up into his eyes and found there was only one thing he could think of to say.
“Why?”
Michael looked startled at the question. He chuckled softly and rubbed his thumb over Jeremy’s lips.
“Isn’t it obvious, I’ve been in love with you since the day we met.”
Jeremy was startled. He’d had feelings for that long? Why hadn’t he said anything before now? Told him about what he felt? Done anything before now? Jeremy’s cheeks heated up at that last one. Nope, he was not going to think about that.
Michael was laughing softly and lowly at the startled and embarrassed look on Jeremy’s face.
Jeremy took Michael’s hand in his own and lifted it to his lips. Michael stopped laughing and looked curiously at Jeremy. Jeremy put a soft kiss on the back of Michael’s hand. Michael smiled warmly and put his hand on the back of Jeremy’s neck and pressed their foreheads together.
“You’re beautiful,” Michael said. “If you want to try something, I’d be happy to oblige.”
And then he leaned in, and they kissed tenderly.
---
It wasn’t long before the kisses got more heated. Soon they became open mouth, then tongue, then finally Michael pushed Jeremy down onto his bed and started kissing a line down his throat. He got to a sensitive spot on his neck.
Jeremy moaned, surprising both Michael and himself. Michael sat up just a bit at the startle, then he smiled smugly. He put his head back down and started kissing in that area again. Jeremy tried to hold back his moans, he really did, but it just felt so good.
Michael was running his hands around the bottom hem of Jeremy’s t-shirt as his kisses moved a little further down. Jeremy understood what he wanted and hummed in approval. Michael broke off to pull Jeremy’s t-shirt over his head.
Jeremy’s skin was pale, a paleness that only came from staying inside all day and always wearing full clothing. It was the kind of skin that constantly showed blue veins and bruised too easily. Michael thought it was like a blank canvas. Not beautiful until it was covered in colours.
Michael leaned down to kiss Jeremy right over his heart. He sat back up again.
He put his hands on Jeremy’s waist and lifted him up so he sat in Michael’s lap now. Jeremy looked startled at the sudden movement and Michael chuckled darkly. In another swift motion, Jeremy was lying down again, and Michael’s head was trailing kisses down his body.
Michael stopped once he’d got to his navel. He ran his fingers over the hem of Jeremy’s pants, asking for approval to continue. Jeremy hummed, and that was all Michael needed. He undid Jeremy’s jeans and pulled them off him. He pulled his socks off in the process as well.
Now Jeremy was under him, in only boxers. Michael placed his hands on Jeremy’s thighs. Jeremy looked nervous. Michael started rubbing up and down his thighs. Jeremy looked unsure. Michael ran his fingers along Jeremy’s boxer elastic.
“No,” croaked out Jeremy. Michael pulled back immediately and sat up.
Jeremy looked scared. Michael’s heart broke at the fact that that expression was because of him.
Michael put his hands on Jeremy’s waist and quickly pulled him up into a sitting position before he let go again. He heard a sniffle. Michael leaned his head in a way so he could see Jeremy’s face, even though it was angled down at his lap.
Michael’s heart broke even more. He placed his hand next to Jeremy’s cheek, silently asking permission. Jeremy leaned into the touch. Michael brought his other hand up to the other cheek.
Michael lifted Jeremy’s face up and wiped the tears from his eyes with his thumbs.
“Shhh, it’s okay. Everything’s fine. Why are you crying, bub,” Michael suspected he knew the answer to that question, but he wanted Jeremy to confirm it.
“I just don’t want you to hate me for not being ready, even though I showed I was. I didn’t want to be weak for you,” Jeremy mumbled that last part and he angled his head down again.
Michael lifted Jeremy’s head and looked him in the eyes. “It’s okay to not be ready. You don’t have to say yes just for me or just for someone else, you’re your own person and it’s your own body, and if you’re unsure, nobody has the right to force you. Do you want to do something else?” asked Michael, looking at Jeremy. He nodded.
“Do you want some pajamas?” Michael asked softly, realising Jeremy was just in boxers. Jeremy nodded, but put his shirt back on. Michael realised he only really meant pajama pants. That was fine. He went to the dryer to get some. He changed into some in there and grabbed a pair for Jeremy.
Jeremy was in the same place where Michael had left him. “Do you want to watch a movie?” he asked. Jeremy nodded again. Michael guessed he was going to have to feel comfortable again before using his words. That was fine.
Michael gave him the pants and Jeremy shuffled them on in his seating position. Michael chuckled softly and sat down on the bed again. Jeremy gestured for him to come closer. He did, and Jeremy put his arms around Michael’s head. Michael realised what he wanted.
“Not using our words, now not using our legs, just using me,” Michael laughed as Jeremy stuck out his tongue. He leaned up off the bed and picked Jeremy up bridal style. He walked from his bedroom to their room easily and deposited Jeremy down on a beanbag. Michael popped in a movie and let it start.
Michael turned around and Jeremy made grabbing motions at him. “Alright, alright, I’m coming,” he said, fake exasperatedly. He snuck under Jeremy and allowed Jeremy to curl up to his chest.
Michael played the movie and by the time the end credits were rolling, both boys were asleep.