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“I AM A THROBBING VOLCANO OF GRISTLE!”
Krieg waves his axe in triumph standing on a heap of freshly murdered corpses. The little man is sighing. Mumbling something mean. Always saying Krieg is stupid. But what does the little man know about anything? He was puny and weak. All his memories are boring. No blood or meat. No killing. Spent his stupid life sitting in a box, putting numbers into another box. Making guns and not firing them.
A volcano huh? That’s a new one. I didn’t think you had any more words in your vocabulary.
“SHUT UP!” Krieg hits the place in the back of his head that seems to make the little man angriest.
How many times do I have to tell you that hurting us won’t get rid of me?
Krieg hits him again. Laughing. Pain is good. Pain makes everything vibrant and bright.
“Krieg!” The Blue Lady calls to him from across the bandit camp. “Come on, we’re not quite done yet.”
“NEVER STOP THE KILLING!”
Krieg bounds off after her. Blue Lady is the only thing he and small man agree on. Her flesh is soft and juicy.
Please don’t talk about her like you want to eat her.
WE DO EAT HER .
I don’t think she’d like you putting it that way.
WE LIKE TO FEAST ON HER TENDER MEAT.
God. I knew it. You like going down on her because it reminds you of cannibalism. I swear if you ever actually bite her, I will shove a grenade in our mouth and pull the pin.
I WILL EAT FACES AGAIN SOMEDAY.
Over our dead body.
Krieg misses when the little man was sleeping. When he could run wild through the desert, killing and devouring as much as he wanted. He does not like the rules. The constant arguing.
Blue Lady waits for Krieg to catch up before moving forward, towards the hill in the distance. Krieg doesn’t know why they are going. He doesn’t really care. There’s sure to be more killing.
She told us why ten times before we left. You just don’t listen.
Krieg hits his head again.
“Lot of noise up there today?” Blue Lady bares her teeth.
Smiling. It’s called smiling. It’s friendly, remember?
“BONE NECKLACES.”
“Just don’t hit yourself too hard, big guy. I’m gonna need you on your game.”
“I LIKE GAMES.”
The little man tries, unsuccessfully, to stop Kreig from reaching out and putting a hand on Blue Lady’s ass. She laughs. Then she grabs at the front of Krieg’s pants, where he’s already swelling. He grunts. Stops walking. Pulls Blue Lady towards him. She still bares her teeth, even as she runs her hands down his chest.
“Much as I want to celebrate, we still have a big bad to deal with.”
“WE WILL SWIM IN THE MEAT CHUNKS.”
“Exactly.”
She pats her hand on the side of Krieg’s mask before turning around and walking away. Krieg takes a few breaths and cracks his neck before following.
We’re lucky. Most women would slap you in the face for crap like that.
BLUE LADY IS A FEROCIOUS VALKYRIE OF BLOOD AND PAIN.
You’re right about that much, at least. Make sure to keep her safe.
SO WE MAY FEAST.
Because we love her.
The little man often says confusing things. Usually, Krieg ignores them. His eye twitches as the words echo through his head.
You remember love, don’t you?
Krieg throws his axe at a nearby body, just to hear the wet thunk. Little man sighs, but finally stays quiet.
By the time they get to the top of the hill, the sun is starting to set. The pieces fall into place, when Krieg sees the bunker. The bandit captain must have run to seal himself here after it was clear he wouldn’t be winning the battle for his camp.
The Blue Lady goes first, blowing a hole in the bunker door with her grenade launcher. Krieg twirls his axe. Scanning their surroundings for traps. Fighting at night is always fun. More danger, but more chance for surprises.
Once the smoke clears, Krieg axes his way through the rest of the rubble. Blue Lady follows close behind him. No lights on in the building. Probably no power out here.
Krieg kicks down doors so they can sweep each room, loading up on bullets and anything else shiny they find along the way. It’s not a big building. Soon, there’s just one door left.
As soon as Krieg’s boot hits the wood, it triggers a massive explosion. Blinding white light. Krieg gets thrown back across the hall, slamming into the wall. Everything is blurry. Loud ringing noise. Hurts to breathe.
We probably should have expected that. Nice job, idiot. Any poetic last words?
Maybe Krieg passes out for a second. It’s hard to tell. He feels small hands on his chest. Burning white hot. His entire body is pulsing.
But the world comes back into focus.
“Krieg? Krieg! Don’t you dare fucking die on me.”
The Blue Lady is glowing like stars. Krieg wants to reach for her, but he can’t seem to move his arms. Broken bones? Probably all the bones are broken. That was a very big boom.
He feels snaps and crackles as the Blue Lady pulses even brighter. He can move his fingers again. She’s healing him. He blinks a few times. There is blood everywhere. It must be his blood. She doesn’t look hurt.
Thank god for small favors.
She stops when Krieg has the feeling back in all his limbs and his skin isn’t torn open anymore. She slumps forward, panting. Trembling.
“I TASTED THE UNIVERSE!”
“Yeah… you really did.”
Blue Lady is still shivering. Krieg wraps his arms around her. Probably too tight. It takes a long time for the lady to stop shaking. When they try to stand up, she stumbles, and has to fall back against the wall.
She used way too much energy trying to save us.
“WE WILL CARRY HER TO VICTORY.”
Krieg bends down and scoops her up. One arm wrapped around her shoulders, and the other underneath her knees. Her eyes are wide and startled. But she does not struggle.
It’s quite a drive back to the nearest fast travel station. Too far to try until morning. Krieg carries the Lady down through the decimated bandit village and finds a hut with a bed that’s still mostly intact. He sets her down on it and goes about securing the perimeter. Slides a broken refrigerator in front of the door. Puts an upended table against the window. It’s not quite tall enough to block out the moonlight, but should provide some cover from bullets. He finds some MRE’s in a chest. One meal bar for the Lady. Two for him.
You should at least offer her the second one.
WE ARE BIGGER.
She just saved our life.
“DOES THE LADY STARVE?” Krieg throws all three bars down on the bed.
“Oh… um… I’m not really hungry.”
“STRENGTH IS PARAMOUNT IN RECOVERING FROM DEATH.”
“OK, dad.” She smiles a little. “I’ll have half of one. How about that?”
“LORD KRONOS ATE HIS BABIES. THE SWEETEST OF MEATS.”
Krieg unbuckles his mask and pulls it up enough to shove both bars into his mouth at the same time. The Lady giggles as she unwraps her food.
I honestly have no idea what she sees in us.
MUSCLES.
Well. You’re probably not wrong.
Krieg pulls up a chair by the door, holding his shotgun. The Lady lies down, but does not close her eyes. She’s staring at him.
“WHAT FUELS HER ANGUISH?”
“Do you really think anyone is going to be coming through here? I mean… we probably don’t need to keep watch. You have to sleep sometimes too, right?”
“BE PREPARED TO REND GULLETS, IT’S THE BOY SCOUT MOTTO.”
“I really hope you were actually a boy scout at some point.”
“SLEEP NOW. DANCE ON THE GRAVES OF INFERNAL MADNESS.”
“Goodnight, Krieg.”
She rolls over. Krieg likes to watch her ribcage rise and fall. But her breathing doesn’t slow. She is still awake. Keeps squirming. Flopping into different positions.
“Will you just come here?” She sighs. Almost sounds angry.
“THE GRIME PUZZLE HAS JAGGED EDGES.” Krieg frowns. He is not going to fit on the bed.
“I don’t know what that means, big guy. But if you don’t get over here and spoon me, I’m going to shoot you in the foot.”
“MOCKINGBIRD DYNAMITE IMPLODES WITH GUSTO.”
Krieg hops to his feet and walks over to the bed. The mattress springs squeal as he settles onto it. His legs are dangling off the end. He has to lie on his side to keep from falling off entirely. The Blue Lady curls against him. Her back to his chest. She is so small. Half his size. But she is mighty.
She falls asleep within minutes. Finally relaxing, with Krieg’s arm wrapped around her. She is beautiful and frightening. Even with her eyes closed.
***
Sanctuary makes Krieg nervous. He doesn’t like civilization. It reminds him of bad times. Before he was free. Bright lights, full of tubes, blood aching…
He stands out in the street while Blue Lady talks to Red Lady, inside a building. When he first came here, people aimed guns at him. Now they just give mean looks. Krieg is big, and scary, and wears a mask.
Without Blue Lady, and the little man, Krieg probably would have already gone to war with sanctuary and everyone in it. He likes to think about the days when he’d run into small settlements like this one and set them on fire. The beautiful screaming. The smell of burning flesh.
You’re a monster.
Krieg snorts. Little man is fine with killing bandits. Other psychos. What’s the difference? He makes no sense.
Killing innocents is wrong.
KILLING IS KILLING AND WE LIKE IT.
Krieg’s fingers twitch. Longing to reach for his guns. He has to keep them holstered in town. Getting out his beautiful buzz axe would mean being shot immediately.
So he just shifts back and forth, bouncing on the balls of his feet.
Blue Lady appears after much too long. Her face is scrunched up and her eyes are puffy. She doesn’t say anything. She just grabs Krieg’s wrist and drags him down the street.
I wish we would try to comfort her or something. Maybe ask her what’s wrong.
NO.
Really? That’s all you have? “No”? I guess I should be grateful. At least silence is better than something idiotic.
They get to the edge of the city. Blue Lady climbs up onto a roof, and sits down with her legs dangling over the edge. Krieg sits next to her. There is water coming from her eyes.
She’s crying, idiot. Please. Put an arm around her. Do something. This is probably our fault. You know how Lilith feels about us. We fucked that mission up pretty bad. She wanted the bandit king alive.
“Why does the Blue Lady rain?” Krieg tries his best not to shout. He reaches out to touch where her cheek is wet.
“What? You never cry, muscles?” She leans against his hand.
“WE DRINK THE SADNESS.”
“I guess I have seen you do that. Both metaphorically, and with downing an entire bottle of whiskey by yourself.”
“MAKES EVERYTHING QUIET.”
Blue Lady takes a small metal flask from her pocket and drinks from it. The little man tries to shake Krieg’s head when she offers it. But Krieg manages to grab it. He unbuckles his mask and lifts it enough so he can take a few gulps.
“Can I…” Blue Lady moves a little closer. “Can I see what you’ve got under there? I mean. I’ve seen you naked but still haven’t seen your face…”
Yes.
NEVER.
Let her see us. What does it even matter?
WE ARE THE MASK.
Come on. I’ll let you go buzz axe some skags later. You can even kill the puppies.
“THE WARMTH CONSUMES ME.”
“Is… that a yes?”
Krieg reaches up and tugs his mask off all the way. He feels… strange. Face exposed. He blinks a few times. Can’t see anything out of the right eye. It has been milky white for a long time.
“Wow. You look— weirdly normal. Like. Fuck. You’re hot, Krieg.”
“INCINERATE MY SKIN.”
Blue Lady climbs over onto Krieg’s lap. Her face is still wet, but she isn’t leaking anymore. She puts her hands on Krieg’s cheeks and holds him steady.
“WHAT IS HAPPENING?”
“Something really stupid, probably.”
She leans forward and presses their mouths together. It is strange.
Kiss her back, dumbass.
The little man’s only interesting memories are about this. Women before the Blue Lady. Krieg gives up the slightest bit of control. So the little man can move their mouth. Part their lips. Tongues touching. Hot breathing.
“Fuck,” she whispers.
She surges forward like she’s hungry. Krieg wraps his arms around her. It feels good when they press together. Even better when she starts to writhe and grind against him.
“We really shouldn’t do this up here…” she starts tugging at her clothes. “People could see us from the street.”
She gets her boots and pants off. Krieg runs his hands over all the tattoos he doesn’t usually see. They go all the way down her legs.
“Shit. You don’t care if anyone sees us, do you? What am I even talking about.” She presses their mouths together again, scrambling to unbuckle Krieg’s belt.
Her top comes off last. It’s almost strange to see her skin when it’s not smeared with blood. She’s still pretty. Krieg still wants to touch her everywhere at once.
She sinks down onto him slow. Wrapping him so tight in the slippery heat. She clutches at his shoulders as she starts to move. Still trying to smear their lips together. Krieg wants to grab her thighs and hold them as wide as they’ll spread. Thrust into her as hard and fast. But if he does that, the little man yells. Sometimes if he’s not careful enough the Blue Lady attacks and puts him in the weird space, where he can’t move or breathe.
Touch her. Rub her clit. Remember how much she likes that?
SHUT UP.
Come on. Just let me do it. Doesn’t it feel good when she comes while we’re still inside her?
Krieg grunts. He doesn’t like giving up very much power to the little man. He’s afraid he won’t get it back. Somehow, the little man will trick him and trap him. The little man desperately wants to be in charge of their body again. Even though he already had his chance and wasted it.
This is the one thing he’s actually useful for. He’s very bad at killing, but he knows about touching people.
The little man takes control of their hands. He grabs the Lady’s hips, rubs their thumb across her slickness. She moans. Starts to move faster. Krieg feels the bright, twisty tingling. Like burying his axe in someone’s head and making their brains splatter on the floor.
“RELEASE THE BEAST!”
Everything goes very tense. Krieg stops breathing. Then the pulsing warmth floods through him. The Blue Lady is shuddering. Makes a wet mess. Krieg wants to taste it, but she’s still clinging to him very tight. So they stay like that for a while. Even after Krieg gets soft and slips out of her.
“Lilith doesn’t want me to take you on missions anymore.” Blue Lady says very fast. Like she’s afraid of the words. “She says I get distracted. I should have checked for traps before just letting you kick in doors. Which–fair, I should have. But that’s not the point.”
“MY MEAT IS TOO SHINY?”
“Something like that. But she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. You’re a good fighter. You’ve saved my ass more than a few times.”
“ALL IS DESPICABLE IN HELL AND WAR. I WEAR THE FINEST LIVERY, MISTRESS MOON.”
“Yeah… maybe we could get you to put a shirt on someday. That might help me focus a little better.”
“MODESTY IS A SHOW GIRL’S WORST ENEMY.
"You're a fucking dork."