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They make it back to camp relatively unscathed and everyone is cheering for Captain America like he is something special, like he did it alone. It’s all Steve can do just to smile complacently as they slap his back, his eyes closely following Bucky as he disappears quietly into the crowd.
When Steve finally has some time to himself, somewhere in the wee hours of the morning, he finds Bucky sitting alone on a cot in a small tent, his head hanging low over his knees, his forearms braced against his thighs. The picture of a man who needed some time alone to gather his thoughts.
As Steve pushed the flap of the tent back, he cleared his throat to announce himself. Bucky slowly raised his head and he appeared half dead as his hair hung in limp tendrils across his forehead, dark purple smudges under his eyes shining vividly against his sickly pale skin.
“Captain.” Bucky murmured in acknowledgement.
“Hey, Buck.” Steve shoved his hands into the pockets of his freshly changed army slacks. “Look, I want to…”
“Before you start, I gotta ask,” Bucky cut him off, sitting a little bit straighter now, his voice hoarse. Steve tried not to think about why. “When did all of this,” He gestured vaguely at Steve’s body. “Happen?”
“Uh, well…About that. It’s a bit of a long story.” Steve said somewhat sheepishly.
“I ain’t going anywhere, pal.”
That was Bucky; stubborn as a mule and more determined than anyone Steve had ever met.
“Alright, I’ll start from when you last saw me.” The Captain conceded, shuffling over to the cot and forcing Bucky to move over as he sat down and took up most of the space with his new bulk.
He spoke quietly as he retold his story to his most dear friend. How he had met Erskine, how he had passed training (Bucky visibly turned green when Steve recounted jumping on a (dud) grenade, though didn't look at all surprised). Meeting Peggy and Stark, and finally, his transformation into what he was and Erskine’s awful death.
When he was done, Bucky looked as though he might throw up.
“Bucky?” Steve asked, concern knotting his brows together. He put a warm hand on his friends shoulder and squeezed gently.
“Jesus, Steve.” Bucky looked like he was trying very hard not to punch something as he clenched and unclenched his fists repeatedly until he was calm enough to speak. Calm never came.
“I joined the god damned army to protect you!” He stood angrily, shrugging Steve’s hand off in the process. “To keep the war away from home so you would never have to see any of this! Hell, some nights that was the only thing keeping me going, knowing you were safe in Brooklyn! And now you’re here in the middle of it, in the middle of everything and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it!”
Bucky was shouting now, but his throat was sore from screaming because of the torture he had endured at Zola’s hands and his voice cracked on every other word.
“What the hell were you thinking?” He finished, his face pinched in pain.
“I was thinking that I was saving your god damned life, Bucky!” Steve stood now too and suddenly the height difference caused Bucky to take an alarmed step back. “If I hadn't become what I am now, you’d still be strapped to that bed with no one coming to save you!”
Steve hated yelling, least of all at Bucky but his eyes were burning and he hated himself for not being there for his best friend as the 107th was ambushed and captured.
“What do you think I would have done if something worse had happened to you, Buck? I'm here now for the same reason you are and I’m going to stick with you whether you like it or not.” Fat tears were dropping rapidly from his eyes and he blinked quickly to try and will them away. “Do you think I wouldn't go to the very end for you too? Now, I don’t need protection. Now…I can protect you too.”
Steve never could control his emotions around Bucky and it appeared that hadn't changed at all in the few months they had been apart. His friend had found his way into Steve’s heart and there was no removing him.
“God, Steve, I'm such a jerk.” Bucky looked guilty as he crowded Steve and gripped his shoulders. He was shorter than the Captain now; that was going to take some getting used to. He unconsciously reached a hand up and brushed at the wetness on Steve’s cheek; he really was a jerk for putting his best friend in danger like he did. He would never forgive himself for it.
“I know.” Steve murmured, his voice suddenly very warm and very close as he covered Bucky’s hand on his face with his own. He slid it down to rest against his collar bone.
In the very dim lighting of the tent, coming from a small gas lamp, the blue in Steve’s eyes sparkled with an intense heat that Bucky had never seen in them before. In fact, they were pressed so close together that he could make out a few flecks of green that would be hidden with distance but here up close, he could see it clear as day and why it was making his heart race, he couldn’t answer. He could feel the hard beat of Steve’s pulse under his hand and he was suddenly warm, so warm, hot even, as Steve pressed even closer and it took everything Bucky had not to gasp as Steve’s plush lips desperately pressed against his in manner that was definitely more than a friendly peck.
Steve’s lips were soft but demanding and commanded noises out of Bucky that he had most certainly never made before. The Captains hands gripped Bucky’s hips and pulled him in until they were pressed flush together, causing the Sergeant to gasp. Steve took full advantage of this and dipped his tongue inside the wet heat of Bucky’s mouth; both of them moaned and as Steve pushed in for more, Bucky pulled away with a small whimper.
“Who taught you to kiss like that?” He panted, closing his eyes to try and regain control of his traitorous body. His hardness was pressed against Steve’s thigh, desperately straining for any source of friction.
“It doesn’t matter.” Steve murmured, gently slipping his hands under Bucky’s white cotton shirt and smoothing his thumbs across those sharp hip bones. Bucky’s knees went weak for an instant and he gripped at Steve’s shoulders a little too hard. How had he found his hot spot so fast?
“Just tell me who, Steve. You were a god damned virgin when I left Brooklyn.” His voice was meant to be harsh and not at all breathy like it was but with Steve mouthing at his neck, it was all he could do to even stay coherent.
Steve murmured a name against his neck. Bucky frowned and pulled away slightly.
“Did you just say Stark? As in Howard Stark?” Bucky asked aghast.
Steve blushed right up to his ears.
“Oh my god, I’m going to kill him.” Bucky jerked away, his brown eyes becoming stormy. “I’m going to kill that god damned bastard right now!”
Steve grabbed his arm and swung him around, away from the mouth of the tent and flipped him flat on to his back and on to the cot. Jesus, he was strong. Before Bucky could protest being manhandled, Steve was already covering him with his body and pressing them together until every little bit of them was touching. Heat rekindled into flame in Bucky’s lower abdomen and he cursed himself inwardly as he pushed up into Steve’s warmth, unable to control his body’s reactions. He hadn't been this geared up since his first time with a dame.
“Can’t that wait until later?” Steve spoke softly against his lips and that was all it took for Bucky. He was always weak for Steve and that would never change.
“Okay, later.” Bucky promised, pushing Steve’s shirt half way up his chest so he could touch his irritatingly soft and muscular skin. “But Stark is a dead man. Why didn't you tell me you…” He stopped.
If Bucky had known Steve was even a little bit interested, he wouldn’t have wasted all that time together that they had back in Brooklyn. He had wanted Steve for as long as he could remember. All those wasted nights that they could have spent together…
“Don’t think about it. You have me now. And I’m not going anywhere.” Steve whispered, covering his lips again in a heated kiss.
Bucky hummed in pleasure and pressed back, swiping his tongue against Steve lower lip and sucking at the warm, slightly salty flesh. It caused Steve moan and buck gently against his friend, unable to maintain any semblance of control over his body.
“Buck,” Steve whispered desperately against his lips, his tender voice dropping several octaves.
Bucky’s eyes rolled back slightly as his dick swelled and throbbed at the sound.
“God, don’t say my name like that.” He gasped, grasping at Steve’s hips and grinding against him urgently.
Steve pressed his lips behind Bucky’s ear and sucked on the tender skin there, leaving a dark red bruise in the shape of his mouth. He pulled back a little, dragging the tip of his nose over the shell of Bucky’s ear.
“Bucky,” Steve’s voice had dropped impossibly deeper and it was all Bucky could do to muffle a small sob of pleasure, his hips bucking on their own accord and lust sparking down his spine at an alarming rate.
“I'm not kidding, Steve,” Bucky was breathless; his hands were fumbling for any stretch of Steve’s skin he could reach. “I don’t know if…” Steve reached a hand between their bodies and Bucky almost cried when it settled over his dick and squeezed gently. His own voice became higher in pitch. “I don’t know if I…”
His words were lost as Steve covered his lips again and he gave up trying to drag it out when Steve had somehow managed to get both of their naked dicks into his rather experienced large hand and Bucky was completely at his mercy. Steve had command of everything now, his heart, his body; he was Steve’s and he didn't care any more. Bucky wanted him to have everything, to take all of him and hold him so close that no one would dare question what they were to each other.
He dropped his head back as Steve moved in to nip at his neck and collar bone, leaving a spray of little red marks against skin. Mark me, mark me, yes… His hips were snapping in time with Steve’s hand, now slicked with precum and sliding smoothly against his skin. The pressure behind his balls was building much too quickly but he couldn't stop Steve, he could hardly form any words, all he could do was sob ‘Please, please’ and hold on for the ride. He bit hard into Steve’s shoulder to muffle his voice, afraid to be heard. Steve hissed at the action and the movements of his hand quickened.
“I'm… I'm close, Buck.” Steve moaned, pressing their sweaty foreheads together. “Open your eyes, I want to see you.”
Never one to say no to Steve, Bucky’s eyes fluttered open. He had always had thick black lashes and it made his dark brown eyes stand out all the more. This time though, they were glazed with lust and longing and an aching pulling sensation settled in Steve’s stomach at the sight. They trembled and thrust against one another until Steve couldn't take it anymore; he twisted wrist slightly at the tip on his way up and Bucky was gone. Steve cut off his cry with his mouth and came only seconds after, gasping and trying desperately to hold himself above Bucky as his orgasm ripped through his body at alarming speed.
When he was finally spent, he rolled over Bucky to lay next to him and splayed his hand across his friends bare stomach. The muscles spasmed lightly under his touch and he grinned widely as he pushed his nose against Bucky’s hair line.
“Okay?” Steve asked.
“More than okay.” Bucky replied softly, turning his head to kiss Steve on the lips gently and then hesitantly, “Why didn’t you tell me you felt this way?”
Steve frowned and unconsciously brushed his hand against Bucky’s hip. The sergeant twitched. Steve fought back a grin.
“If I'm honest, I thought you would deck me if I ever hinted at it.” Steve said, a little embarrassed now that he knew it wasn't the case.
“Don’t be an idiot, Steve,” Bucky said affectionately, shoving at his broad shoulder. “You know I've always looked out for ya; I never would have dreamed of punching the one man I actually L…”
Without even saying anything, the confusion was clear on Steve’s face as Bucky cut himself off. The sergeant rolled away and turned his back to Steve.
“Forget it, let’s just get some shut eye, okay?” He said, sounding angry at himself.
“Okay, Bucky.”
Steve didn't want to push the issue so all he did was wrap an arm around Bucky and pull his back against his front so they were flush together again. Steve was never going to get sick of feeling each breath, each heart beat against his own. He grinned goofily and slotted his head against Bucky’s neck; he was acting like a love struck teenager but he couldn't help it. Bucky was safe and not only that, he was in his arms and breathing and so warm. He rubbed his nose carefully against his friends’ hair, catching a scent that could only be his. Sharp and woodsy. He pushed his hips against Bucky’s backside and ground them in a small circle.
“Hey, seriously?” Bucky’s chest rumbled with laughter and Steve’s heart felt like it was about to burst out of his chest.
“What?” Steve asked innocently, grinning like a maniac.
“It hasn't even been 5 minutes, Steve.” Bucky was truly laughing now, turning around in Steve’s arms and grinning up at him.
“Super soldier, remember?” Steve didn’t hesitate to kiss Bucky, cutting off his laughter and turning it in to a little desperate moan.
“Stay with me, Steve.” Bucky pulled back a little, speaking softly against Steve lips and looking up at him with those irresistible dark brown eyes.
“I'm not going anywhere, Buck.”
~*~
When Steve wakes up, he automatically reaches out for Bucky to pull him close again. But when his arm meets empty air, his heart stutters and aches. He opens his eyes and the sight that greets him brings with it a horrible hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach. It hurts so much that he’s almost sick at the sight.
He is lying in a large bed surrounded by 3 plain walls and an enormous window overlooking New York.
He’s at Stark tower and the year is 2014.