Archive of Our Own

Sid loves getting to the beach early.

The sun is hanging just above the water and the breeze is still relatively cool.

He zips his sweatshirt up a little higher as he digs his sunscreen out of his bag. He’ll be reapplying it a lot today. There isn’t supposed to be any cloud coverage and the temps are going to get into the mid eighties. A taste of summer in the middle of February in Florida.

There are a few people dotting the shore. Older couples walking together on the damp sand enjoying the quiet before the crowds roll in.

There’s a dog splashing in the waves while their owner takes video on their phone and a few people are jogging.

In a few hours it’ll be packed with locals and tourists and Sid will have to keep a careful watch on all of them.

But for now he can close his eyes and take a deep breath to pull the salt air into his lungs.

“Morning, Sid.”

Sid opens his eyes. “Morning, Geno.”

Geno’s wetsuit is only pulled up to his waist and he’s eating a granola bar in big bites, the wrapper crinkling beneath his fingertips as he pulls it down.

“You’re out early,” Sid says and Geno shrugs as he takes the last bite.

“Storm way off the coast is churning it up. Want to get out before lots of people come and I have to go to work.”

Sid nods and holds his hand so Geno can drop the wrapper into it.

“Best, Sid,” he says with a wide grin as he sticks his arms through the suit and zips himself up. “Remember sunscreen today. Sun gonna be strong.”

Sid reaches behind him and shakes the bottle.

Geno smiles and grabs his board. “Hey, feel like dating me today?”

Sid gives him a soft smile but shakes his head. “No, not today.”

Geno nods. “Okay. Maybe tomorrow then?”

“You can ask,” Sid says as he climbs onto the tower.

“Always do, Sid. Have a nice day.”

-

Geno works at a dive and surf shop just a few blocks away from the beach. He drinks a cucumber-apple smoothie everyday and tries to get Sid to eat more kale by telling him all of the health benefits as he waxes his board.

But Sid also knows that Geno loves the cheese fries that are sold at the concession stand and even though he tries to eat meat free he still puts bacon on his veggie burgers.

Geno is big and warm and Russian and he loves the sun and the surf and the sand.

Every day he asks Sid out on a date even though Sid’s answer is always the same.

He is resilient and so persuasive that sometimes Sid thinks about saying yes.

-

Sid has rules.

He doesn’t sleep with any that live locally. He picks up tourists and spring breakers or business men in town for the weekend.

He doesn’t lead any of them on. They know what they’re getting into before the first time they kiss and at the end of the night Sid leaves without their number. He won’t be calling them again and they all know that.

He doesn’t go home with anyone he actually likes. He doesn’t need to have anything in common with them or have anything interesting to talk to them about. In fact, it’s better if he doesn’t know anything at all. It’s easier. The only thing that he asks for is that they’re tall and have big hands and enough strength to manhandle him into whatever position they want.

In a crowded bar, a tall blond named Jason has his hand pressed to the small of Sid’s back.

Sid takes a sip of his beer and tips his chin up so it’s easier to hear him talk about how the music in here is terrible.

It’s not, and Sid doesn’t like people who complain just to complain but he does like the spicy scent of Jason’s aftershave and the way his lips keep brushing the outer shell of his ear when he speaks.

But Sid is also getting tired of him speaking. He puts his bottle down on a nearby table and twists so he’s facing Jason. Jason’s hand slides around to hold onto his hip.

“Do you live around here?”

“No,” Jason says as he slowly works his hand beneath Sid’s shirt. It’s warm and sweaty and but so is everyone else. Sometimes the air conditioning cannot keep up with the humidity of southern Florida. “I’m in town for a bachelor party.”

Sid leans back, just a little. “It’s not your party, is it?”

“No, no,” Jason assures him. His thumb is swiping back and forth against his skin. “It’s for my buddy. We’re only down for the weekend.” He sounds apologetic like he thought Sid might be looking for a longer commitment.

“You have a hotel room?”

Jason nods and dips his fingers in the waistband of Sid’s shorts. “You want to get out of here?” Sid leans up to kiss him then pulls away right when Jason tries to kiss him back and tips his head towards the door.

“Lead the way,” he says, voice low and smoky and Jason grins and takes his hand.

-

Sid had been working for the Volusia County Lifeguard Corps for two months when he first met Geno.

The summertime crowds had just began to roll in and Sid was keeping a careful eye on a group of teenage boys who were probably drinking more than just juice out of the Capri Sun pouches they were passing around.

He was just about to get up and head down there when Geno stepped up to the bottom of the stairs and stuck his board in the sand.

“New lifeguard,” he said, heavy accent lacing his voice. “Replace Kelly?”

“I don’t know who Kelly is.”

“Work here before you. Tell me she’s going back home to Colorado before I leave for Russia. Thought maybe I’d make it back before she left.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

Geno looked him up and down and said “not sorry at all. Have name?”

“Sidney,” he said as he stuck his hand out. “Sid.”

“Geno,” he said as he shook his hand. “Sid...is good name. Haven’t been down here long, have you?”

“A few months.”

Geno grinned. “Still new. You like?”

“It’s okay.”

“Okay,” Geno repeated, offended. “More than okay. Is great. Warm water, good weather, nice views,” he said as two bikini clad women walked by, carrying their shoes and throwing obvious looks at Sid as they whispered to each other.

“I’m not interested in them,” he answered and Geno nodded.

“Good to know. Was talking about me.”

Sid looked up at him just in time to see Geno wink and pull his board out of the sand.

Sid watched him, back broad and tan and tapering down to slim hips, until he reached the waters edge.

Geno came back the next day and the day after that stopping at the lifeguard station each time to make small talk with Sid.

Each day Sid got a new piece of information about Geno. He told Sid about his hometown and his parents and brother. How he loved the warmth but sometimes missed the snow.

“Me too,” Sid had said, and it seemed to surprise both of them.

Sid had been keeping tight lipped up until that point.

“I’m from Canada,” he admitted and Geno smiled like Sid had just given him the whole world.

“I’m know. Have accent.”

“Barely.”

“When you have big accent is easy to hear small accent. Is cute.”

Sid blushed despite himself and looked away. When he looked back Geno was still smiling at him.

“From Russia,” he said like that hadn’t been obvious. “Come here for school and couldn’t go home.” He stood up and brushed the sand off his knees. “Fell in love.”

Sid had wrinkled his nose because love had seemed like such a lie at that moment. It still does. “With who?”

Geno had stretched his arms above his head and Sid very carefully did not watch the way his skin pulled across his chest.

“Everything,” Geno answered. “Look around. What’s not to love?”

After that Sid slowly gave up more and more information.

Sid talked about his sister, briefly, and growing up beside the lake. How being in the water was the only place he felt comfortable while he was growing up. It was the only place he wanted to be.

Geno seemed to hang on every word and filed the information away for a later day, asking him how Taylor was doing and what was the craziest thing that ever happened while he was lifeguarding at the lake back home.

Sid never thought he gave particularly good or interesting answers but Geno never seemed to care or call him on it.

When the conversation died down he’d tell Sid to have a good day and then asked him out to dinner.

Finally, after weeks of asking and Sid refusing he laughed and said “you don’t give up do you?”

Geno flashed him a smile and said “not when it’s something I want.”

-

For a lifeguard, a boring day at the beach is a good day at the beach.

Thanks to a red flag warning keeping most of the people out of the water the only thing Sid has had to do is mediate a disagreement between two groups of beachgoers about the the volume of music coming from crappy bluetooth speakers.

“Fucking boring,” Tanger says as he leans against the railing. “I’m not saying I want someone to do something stupid but give me something.”

Sid stretches his legs out in front of him and fiddles with the whistle around his neck. “Relax. Tomorrow it’ll be one thing after another. Enjoy the peace while you have it.”

“Tomorrow is tomorrow and today is today. How can you just sit there staring out at nothing.”

“I’m not staring at nothing.”

Sid’s been busy watching a group of shirtless spring breakers play a game of volleyball a couple of dozen yards down the beach.

“Oh yeah, I see,” Tanger says. “You get to watch the show while I reapply sunscreen for the fifth time just because I don’t have anything else to do.”

“You could go check the parking lot. There’s always something happening there.”

“That’s because people in this state don’t know how to park,” Tanger mumbles as he snags the keys for the ATV off the hook. “I’ll be back. Hope you enjoy yourself.”

“I’m sure I will,” Sid answers as one of the more muscular guys on the team spikes the ball over the next and three of the guys on the other team all collide trying to return it.

There are high fives between him and his teammates and when he happens to look over towards Sid his gaze lingers.

Sid makes a show of licking his lips and looks out over the water.

Geno is easy to spot in the middle of his buddies.

It’s his yellow plaid shorts that give him away but Sid feels like no matter what he had on he would be able to find him.

Sid watches as Geno tips his head back and laughs as he waves along another surfer to cut in front of him for the next wave.

When Sid glances back over to the game, hot muscular guy is looking back at him.

He spends the next few minutes alternating between watching the beach and watching the game. Each time he looks over that guy is looking back.

Finally, the ball takes a suspiciously bad bounce off the guys forearms and it rolls over to the lifeguard tower.

Sid bites back a smirk and slips the sunglasses that are perched on the top of his head to his face as the guy jogs over to retrieve the ball.

He looks up at Sid before he bends over and grabs the ball with one hand. When he straightens up he gives Sid a dazzling smile.

“What’s up,” he asks as he blindly throws the ball back to his group of friends and sticks his hand out. “I’m Colin.”

Colin is a senior at URI and he and his friends came down for their last spring break of their college careers.

“When we left there was two feet of snow on the ground. Come down here and it’s like heaven,” he says as he gives Sid a slow once over.

Sid rolls his eyes behind his glasses but he leans forward against the railing anyways. Technically he shouldn’t be doing this while he’s working. He’s had conversation after conversation with the junior lifeguards about not doing this after catching them spending more time talking to girls in bikinis than watching the beach but….do as I say, not as I do.

“I’m glad you’re having fun,” Sid says and Colin flashes him a grin.

“And are you?”

“What does that mean?”

“Are you having fun watching all of us play?”

“I’m not watching you,” Sid says and Colin scoffs. “I’m not watching all of you,” he clarifies and turns to look out over the water.

Colin is obviously hooked because he starts to talk about a bonfire on the beach tonight that some of his friends have heard about and how cool it’s supposed to be.

Sid can only pay him half a mind because the waves have picked up considerably since they started talking and he doesn’t like the look of them.

He knows as soon as Geno stands up on his board that it’s not going to end well and a moment later he loses his balance and slams into the water.

“That looked like it hurt,” Colin says with a wince and Sid keeps scanning the water waiting for Geno to pop up behind his board.

Geno is a strong swimmer but Sid also knows the currents have been terrible lately and it’s like every second Geno doesn’t break the surface slows and stretches out before him.

“Shit,” Sid says sharply as he grabs the rescue buoy beside him and takes off towards the water.

Sid is only ankle deep when Geno’s head finally pops up and he sticks his arm up to let everyone know that he’s okay and grabs his board.

Sid wades a little further in and waits for Geno to reach the shore.

When he gets close Sid can see the large scrape spanning all the way up his forearm but besides that he looks alright.

“You okay,” he asks anyways and Geno knows and pushes his hair off his face.

“Fine. Stronger than I thought it would be, caught me by surprise. Lots of people see?” Sid shakes his head and looks back up the beach. There’s a small crowd of people lingering at the shoreline and everyone else in the area is looking in their direction.

“I don’t think so,” Sid says and Geno laughs and grabs his board.

“Good. Don’t want to be embarrass.”

“It would probably be more embarrassing if I had to actually go out and rescue you. Come on, let's get you cleaned up.”

“Just a scratch,” Geno says as he twists his arm to look at the scrape. “Dragged it against the bottom.”

Sid cups his elbow and squeezes. “I’d feel better if we got it taken care of. It won’t take long. Now come on.”

“So bossy,” Geno says as they make their way out of the water.

“Can you please get up there before you bleed out on my beach.”

“Your beach now,” Geno teases, “most important.”

“Just go,” Sid says with a laugh and Geno finally turns and starts up the beach.

Sid follows close behind with his hand hovering over the small of his back.

Inside, Geno sits down in one of the metal folding chairs and holds his arm close to his body.

“You still doing okay,” Sid asks him as he grabs the first aid kit out from the cabinet.

“It’s fine,” Geno answers, a little less boisterous than before.

Sid pulls on a pair of rubber gloves and sets a towel under Geno’s elbow so he can easily clean the scrape with a bottle of water.

He murmurs an apology when Geno hisses as the water washes sand and grit out of the wound.

“Hurts,” Geno says softly and when Sid’s eyes flick up to his face he can sees that he’s pouting. “Hurts more than when it happened.”

“Probably because your body was more concerned with getting to the surface to breathe than feeling the pain.”

“Not so bad down there. Quiet, peaceful. Been in much worse places.”

“Don’t get any ideas about doing it again,” Sid says as he sets the water bottle down. “I didn’t like not seeing you come up right away.”

“Didn’t know you care so much,” Geno says, a teasing lilt to his voice that has Sid snapping his gaze up to Geno’s face.

“Of course I care. Geno, you’re-.”

“I leave for ten minutes and G is fucking bleeding to death,” Tanger yells as he steps inside. “What the fuck.”

“Small accident,” Geno says at the same time Sid says “he totally wiped out.”

“I can’t believe I missed that,” Tanger says as he leans over Sid to get a good view of the damage. “Next time you’re going to the parking lot.”

“You were the one complaining,” Sid mumbles as he gently smoothes on a thin layer of antibacterial ointment.

Geno pushes Tanger away with his uninjured arm. “Not cool to be excited about my injury.”

“You’re fine.” Tanger claps Sid on the back. “Sid will fix you right up.” He gets up and leans out the door so he can watch the beach.

They’re both quiet for a moment, Sid concentrating on lining up a gauze pad over the scrape and Geno is busy watching him and trying his hardest not to flinch.

“You should stay out of the water for a few days,” Sid says softly as he tears off a piece of tape so he can secure the gauze.

“Sid.” Geno sounds forlorn and Tanger snorts from the doorway.

He’s out there on days he has off and during bad weather. Sid’s sure he’s seen him out there in a hurricane, brightly colored shorts and the Russian flag painted on the bottom of his board standing out against the waves as a local news reporter struggles to stay upright in the wind.

Sid had asked him once if he ever got tired of it. He’s basically doing the same thing every single time, paddle out, wait for a wave, ride it in, then paddle out again.

Geno had laughed at him and told him no, he never got tired of it because he loves it.

“It’s like waking up beside someone you love everyday,” he had said. “You wake up, kiss them goodmorning, have breakfast, kiss them goodbye, and then come back to them at the end of the day. Same thing over and over but it’s not boring. Don’t get tired of it just because you always do it, do you?”

“Some people do,” Sid had answered quietly and then quickly looked away from Geno’s sympathetic look.

Geno had squeezed his ankle before breaking the tension by asking him out, again.

Now, Sid can’t think of anything that will make Geno feel better so he cuts his losses and goes with the facts.

“It’s important to keep this dry. You don’t want it to get infected.”

“Sid.”

“A couple of days won’t kill you.”

“What am I going to do with spare time? Gonna be so bored.”

“Watch TV or read. Take a walk. Just relax.”

“Being out there is how I relax.”

Sid smooths on the last piece of tape and shakes his head. “I’m not your doctor and I’m not your mom so I can’t make you do anything but as a lifeguard and your friend,” he says as he puts his hand on Geno’s shoulder, “I’m suggesting that you at least don’t go back into the water today. Humor me.”

Geno rolls his eyes but nods anyways and Sid smiles.

“Good. That’ll make me feel better,” he says as he pulls off the gloves and tosses them. “Besides, you’re burning.” Without thinking Sid reaches out and touches his fingertip to the smudge of pink across his cheek.

Geno’s skin is warm and smooth and there’s a faint scar right beneath his eye. Sid traces it with his finger and wants to know the story behind it. Geno looks down and his eyelashes fan out against his skin.

Through the window above them ambient noise from the beach trickles in; a couple of kids laughing, seagulls cawing as they circle overhead, the waves crashing into the shore. It’s all background noise to Sid. The only thing he can clearly hear is Geno’s sharp intake of breath when his hand brushes his jaw.

Distantly, he can hear Tanger’s feet shuffle against the wood floor and he remembers that they’re not alone here and that he shouldn’t be doing this.

He steps back and lets his hand fall away.

“I’ll go home,” Geno says on a sigh, “but only because we’re friends.”

Sid smiles as Geno gets himself to his feet. “That’s all I really ask. Go take a nap or something.”

“You sure you’re not mom?”

Sid pats him on the back as he says “if I was your mom you wouldn’t be surfing at all.”

“But Sid, it’s so fun.”

“It’s dangerous.”

“Not all the time.”

“Enough of the time.”

“You just wait until I get you out there then you’ll see.”

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you,” Sid says with a laugh, “it’s not going to happen.”

“I bet your ass would give you really good balance,” Tanger chimes in and Sid punches his arm.

“That’s what I always say,” Geno tells them. “Low center of gravity. Best balance.”

“It’s not going to happen.”

“We see, we see,” Geno says as he steps out into the sun.

Sid follows for a couple of steps, chasing the feeling that Geno has left him with, and then stops dead when he sees Colin waiting at the base of the ramp.

He had forgotten all about him.

“Dude,” Colin says to Geno when he gets close. “That looked awful.”

“Not so bad,” Geno says as he tips his head from side to side like he’s still trying to get water out of his ears. “Had worse.”

“Worse than that?”

Geno shrugs his shoulders. “When I first learn almost die four times a week.”

“Jesus, I am never learning how to surf,” Colin says with a laugh.

“Oh, don’t let that scare you off. So much fun once you learn.”

“I don’t know, man, I don’t think I’m that kind of crazy,” he says with an easy smile before he nods up the ramp to Sid. “My friends and I are heading back to the hotel and I didn’t really get an answer about tonight from you….will I see you there?”

The question hangs between them with Geno trapped in the middle of it.

“I don’t know,” Sid says as he sneaks a glance at Geno. He’s still smiling, but it’s nowhere near as bright. “I’ll have to see.”

“Okay, cool, no pressure. Hope you’ll make it though. It would be nice to see you again.”

“Yeah, you too,” Sid said faintly, more out of the need to be polite than anything else.

Colin is halfway back to his group when Geno turns around to look at Sid.

“You like,” Geno says and Sid blinks at him.

“What?”

“You like him. That guy.”

“I don’t even know him.”

“He ask you out.”

Sid can feel Tanger’s eyes boring holes into the back of his neck.

“There’s some bonfire tonight. It’s no big deal.”

“Going to go?”

“I don’t know, G. What does it matter?” He’s getting defensive and annoyed and it’s only a matter of time before it tips into cruel.

“That the kind of guy you like?”

“I don’t know what I like,” Sid says quickly. Geno is really pushing him.

“Just know what you don’t like,” Geno says quietly and Sid opens his mouth to say something, anything to get them off this topic but the sad look in Geno’s eyes stops him.

With a sigh he says “hope you have fun tonight, Sid,” then raises his hand to wave at Tanger before he walks down the ramp.

“Take it easy, G,” Tanger calls to him then crosses his arms over his chest and and his feet at his ankles as he regards Sid.

“You are breaking that boys heart.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Bullshit. Geno’s been mooning over you since you showed up here.”

“He has not.”

“He asks you out every single day.”

“It’s a joke. It’s our thing. It’s not a big deal.”

“He would count every grain of sand on this beach for you if you asked and you just….you-.”

“I what,” Sid snaps as he pushes past him and into the tower.

“You just….keep hooking up with these nobodies. I mean, who the fuck is Colin?”

“He’s a guy.”

“He’s a spring breaker,” Tanger says flatly. “And so was the guy before him and the guy before him.”

“What’s your point,” Sid says as he tosses the ointment and the gauze back into the first aid kit with more force than necessary.

“My point is that you go after these tourists when you have Geno right in front of you all the time. It would be different if I didn’t think you actually liked him back but you clearly do.”

Sid snaps the kit shut. “Geno’s a good guy.”

“Yeah,” Tanger says, “that’s the point of dating him. What are you afraid of, that he’s going to treat you too well?”

“It’s just easier when they leave after a week.”

Tanger groans. “What a fucking waste.”

“How is it a waste as long as I’m having fun?”

“Is some meaningless fun all you want?”

“What else is there?”

“I don’t know, love, stability, family? Does any of that sound even remotely good to you?”

It does sound good. It sounds great. It sounds like a dream but he also knows it’s unattainable and risky. To make a run at that with Geno and have it fail, it’s just not worth all he’d lose.

He’s not going to put himself through that again.

“How long do you think you can keep this up,” Tanger continues. “You won’t be twenty five forever.”

“So I’m supposed to settle with Geno because I’m going to be old one day?”

“If you think being with Geno is settling then you’re a dick.,” Tanger says harshly. “Geno is a great guy and he could do a lot better than you. I hope he figures that out soon because I’m getting sick of this.” Tanger steps out onto the deck of the tower and Sid throws the kit back into the cabinet and slams the door.

Sid’s anger lasts for the rest of his shift and he leaves without even saying goodbye to Tanger.

It’s just started to bleed away when he steps on the beach for the second time that day.

The sun has gone down and the air has started to cool and Sid steps up to the fire pit and feels the heat of the flames against his skin.

He blends into the crowd of slightly tipsy spring breakers that have gathered on the beach until Colin spots him and grabs two cans of beer out of the Igloo cooler on his way over to him.

“You made it,” he says as he hands the can over. Their fingers brush around the icy aluminum but Colin is warm where he’s pressed against Sid’s side.

“Yeah,” Sid says and it’s awkward and dumb but the smile on Colin’s face makes it clear that he doesn’t care. Sid pops the tab on the beer and takes his first sip.

It’s shitty and cheap and it only improves slightly when he’s licking the tastes of it out of Colin’s mouth less than five minutes later.

It was easy to lead Colin away from the rest of the group. All Sid had to do was tangle his fingers in the front of his shirt, tug, and look up through his lashes and Colin was eagerly following him down the beach and under the pier.

Colin pushes his hands under Sid’s hoodie and against his bare skin as he presses him back against the the beam.

It’s damp and smells like algae and seaweed and Colin’s aftershave isn’t strong enough to cover it.

Colin moans when Sid drags their hips together but all Sid can hear is Tanger’s words playing over and over in his head.

Geno can do better. He deserves better. Geno doesn’t even really know him. Geno doesn’t know how picky and competitive and a million other negative things he can be.

If Geno really knew he’d be off down the beach talking to another lifeguard. There are plenty of them.

“Hey,” Colin says suddenly and Sid nods.

“Fine,” he says as spreads his legs so Colin’s thigh can slip between his own. “Keep going,” he says and Colin ducks down to kiss Sid’s neck.

Sid tips his head back against the beam and tries not to think about anything.

-

“Hey,” Tanger says as a greeting the next morning.

Sid grunts in response and tries to slip by but Tanger stops him with a hand on his arm.

“I’m sorry, man. I shouldn’t have said all that shit yesterday. I was out of line. You and G are two of my best friends and I want both of you to be happy but I think I was probably out of line.”

“You don’t have to apologize, you’re right.”

“Sid-.”

“No, I mean it. Geno deserves better than me. I’m not good enough for him.”

“Sidney, c’mon, man.”

“I’m serious. Look at me. I would just end up disappointing him, so why even bother?”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. Just...trust me. I know. It’s better this way. He’ll see that eventually.” Sid shrugs. “Just gotta wait for it.”

Tanger lets go of his arm and throws his own around Sid’s shoulder to pull him in for a hug. “Don’t get so down on yourself.”

“I’m not,” Sid says but does rest his chin on Tanger’s shoulder and soaks in some comfort. “I’m just being realistic.” He extracts himself from Tanger and drops his bag inside the door. “Can we just forget about it? I don’t want to think about it.”

Tanger looks pained but he finally nods and holds his fist out for Sid to tap his own against.

For a moment it doesn’t hurt.

-

Sid’s not sure if Geno is heeding his advice or if he’s just upset with him but it’s almost a week before he sees him again.

During that time Tanger accuses him of sulking and begs him to get over it.

“You could call him,” Tanger had said after the fourth day. “I know things are complicated or whatever but you’re still friends. I know you have his number.”

“I’m not calling him,” Sid snapped back.

“Then text him.”

“You do it.”

“I’m not your go between. You’re the one turning yourself inside out without him. Which should tell you a lot,” he sing-songed as he stepped off the ramp of the tower and onto the sand.

Sid flipped him off behind his back and tried to do a better job of hiding how much he missed him.

Finally, on the sixth day Geno steps onto the sand.

The bandage is off his arm and he’s holding his board against his side. There’s an older man trailing behind him, pausing every few feet to pick up the long board after he’s dropped it and cursing up a storm in what Sid assumes is Russian.

Occasionally Geno will turn around and say something back. He usually ends it with a laugh that seems to make the man even angrier.

Geno’s still laughing when he stops a few feet short of the tower.

“Hi, Sid,” he says, as he uses his free hand to block the sun so he can look up. He drops it so he can securely jam the end of his board into the sand and holds up up his once injured arm. “All better, see?”

It’s not all better. It’s scabbed over and kind of disgusting but Geno’s been away from the beach, away from him, for so long that he’s not about to say anything that’ll scare him off again.

“Looks great,” he lies and Geno flashes him a smile like he fucking knows it.

“Was hard to stay away but think you were right. Had to heal. Was easier when Sergei and his family come to visit from Miami. Watching little ones keep me busy.”

“This is Sid,” the man, Sergei, says as he drops his board carelessly to the sand and steps up next to Geno. “Nice to finally meet you,” he continues as he holds his hand out for Sid to shake.

Geno rolls his eyes and picks up the board, mumbling in English about breaking a fin. “Zhenya talks about you a lot,” he says with a strange tone to his voice that makes Sid narrow his eyes and Geno say something sharp that he can’t understand.

“How do you know Geno?” Sid asks as he pulls his hand away. Sergei’s grip was just a bit too tight.

“I was his advisor in college.”

Sid barely remembers his advisor’s name. He’d never invite one to vacation at his house.

“Sergei helped me with English when I first started school. Helped me adjust to living here.”

Sergei shrugs. “I was just doing my job. Could you turn away an eighteen-year-old kid from your home country living away from home for the first time? He was pathetic.”

Geno punches his shoulder and Sid smiles fondly.

“His English was so poor, his grades were slipping because of it….he was so smart-.”

“I am so smart,” Geno interrupts.

Sergei ignores him. “He just couldn’t figure out how to communicate so I started helping him during office hours and then he followed me home for dinner. It only took one time trying my wife’s cooking and I couldn’t get rid of him. It was like he adopted us.”

“Probably the only reason I’m still in America. Thought about leaving a lot in those first few months.”

“And now he is going to repay me by drowning me in the ocean.”

“I am teaching you how to surf, not drown. Plus, no way Sid would let you drown, best lifeguard on the beach.”

“I keep telling him I’m not made for the water. I’m better on skates like all good Russians.”

“If anyone can teach you it’s going to be Geno,” Sid says and Geno claps his hand against Sergei’s back.

“See, is going to be fun. How’s the water?”

“Pretty calm. Ideal conditions for your first time.”

“Good,” Sergei says as he points to Geno’s arm. “I don’t want that to happen to me and I don’t want it to happen to you before your date tonight. That would be a bad first impression.”

Geno gives him a severe look but Sergei won’t look away from Sid’s face.

“Well,” Sergei says as he claps his hands together. “If you’re going to try to teach me we should start now. Ksenia and the girls won’t be on the boat tour forever.”

Sid clears his throat and finds his voice. “If anyone can teach you it’s Geno.”

“Nice to hear you have so much faith in him,” Sergei says before he grabs his board and starts down the beach.

Geno starts Sergei out of the water and in the sand.

They practice standing up over and over again until Geno thinks he’s good enough for the water.

It’s downhill from there.

They start out in the shallow water where it’s more body surfing than anything else.

Sergei can’t seem to find his balance on the board and winds up face planting in the water.

Sid’s never been the type to find joy in the failures of others but he thinks Sergei deserves it for whatever game he thought he was playing by telling him that Geno had a date.

It was like he was purposefully trying to get under Sid’s skin and Sid can’t figure out why. Sergei doesn’t know him and it’s hardly any of his business how Sid feels about anything.

He doesn’t trust it and he doesn’t like it, but when Geno and Sergei come out of the water a little after noon Sid slaps on a friendly smile and tries to be polite.

“You’re looking good out there,” he tells Sergei and Geno laughs.

“He’s getting better,” Geno says at the sametime Sergei says “I am the worst.”

Geno slaps him on the back. “It takes time. You’re not going to learn it in a few hours.”

“Then what is the point?”

“To try something new? To take a chance on something? To try to have fun?” “Overrated,” Sergei says and Geno rolls his eyes.

“You’re not giving up so soon, are you,” Sid asks and Geno shakes his head while Geno nods.

“No,” Geno says as he tips his head towards the concession stand. “Just breaking for lunch. Be right back. Sid, make sure he doesn’t run away on me, he’s getting back in the water.”

“I’ll do what I can,” Sid tells him and he keeps the smile on his face even as Geno walks away. “You know you really don’t look that bad out there,” he lies to Sergei. “Geno’s right, it’ll take time but you’ll get it.”

“You can stop pretending that you like me know,” Sergei tells him. “Zhenya can’t hear.”

“What?”

“I know you don’t like me since I brought up his date but I figure I have the right to gloat since I was the one who arranged it.”

Sid clenches his jaw and Sergei grins when he sees it.

“Zhenya and I get coffee at the beginning of the week and I wonder why he didn’t flirt with the cute boy who helped him pick up all the napkins that he dropped. Zhenya is single, assume that boy is single, he was very interested but nothing from Zhenya. I ask him why and he doesn’t answer so of course I think the worst. I think oh no, someone has said something to him about being gay. They’ve made him feel bad about it and now he has to hide. He didn’t leave Russia all those years ago to do that. I keep asking him and he keeps avoiding it and I don’t want to push but I think it’s good to talk about your feelings. Maybe having children has made me soft, I don’t know, but I ask and I ask and finally he tells me he has his heart set on someone else. I think we both know who that is, don’t we?”

Sid’s unable to meet his eyeline.

“I ask him why he doesn’t do something about it and he tells me he’s been trying to, but you keep saying no. Then I ask him why keeps asking, and he says that there might be a day where you change your mind and he doesn’t want to miss it. I don’t understand having that level of hope. I also don’t understand the kind of man that would dangle that hope out in front of him day in and day out.”

“You’re the second one to yell at me about this in the past week.”

“Good. Maybe I will go find a third and you’ll finally get it. You don’t have to go out with him. You don’t even need to like him.”

“I do like him,” Sid interrupts. “I like him a lot. He’s one of my best friends.”

“Then tell him to stop asking you out. Tell him you’re not interested in him that way. Stop giving him hope by letting him ask you everyday. Just end it.” Sergei shakes his head. “Ex-boyfriend really did a number on you, didn’t he?”

Sid sets his jaw. “What did Geno tell you?”

“Nothing, but you just did. Zhenya is like a son to me. He is part of my family and I don’t want to see him hurting like this.”

“He seems fine.”

“He’s not. He is pining over you and you are acting like this selfish little boy. Like you’re the only one that’s ever been hurt.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Maybe not, but neither will anyone else if you never talk about it.”

They stare at each other until Geno wanders back over, weighed down with burgers and fries and two bottles of water tucked against his side.

“Everything okay,” he asks as he looks between the two of them and Sid puts on another disarming smile and nods.

“It’s great. We were just talking about what you were like in college.”

“Oh,” Geno says as he unloads one of the baskets of food onto Sergei. “Whatever he says is a lie.”

“I told him all about your horrible tastes in clothing back then,” Sergei says and then he looks down at the tie dye pattern on Geno’s board shorts and wrinkles his nose. “Still have it.”

“I dress great,” Geno says as he jams a fry in his mouth. “Come on, let’s go eat. Can’t delay getting back out there any longer. I’m going to grab a picnic table. I know you don’t like sand in your food.”

Geno’s turns away, completely oblivious to the conversation that took place and Sergei and Sid are left alone staring at each other.

Sid breaks the silence first.

“I wanted to thank you,” he says and Sergei huffs.

“For yelling at you? I would gladly do that any day of the week.”

“No, for keeping Geno here. He said he would have went home if you didn’t welcome him into your family. I wouldn’t have met him if he did that. He really does mean a lot to me.”

Sergei taps his feet against the sand. “I think you are a good guy, Sidney. Zhenya obviously cares for you and he is a good judge of character. Right now he is waiting for you but I don’t know if he’ll do it forever. I don’t think he should. You should do something soon or else you’re going to miss out.”

Sergei gives him one final critical look before he turns around and walks away.

Sid wants to call after him, to argue a bit more, but he knows what he says is true.

-

Sid’s apartment is small and impersonal.

He’s on the wrong side of the building so he doesn’t have a view of the water and his upstairs neighbors are noisy as hell, but the rent is cheap so he can’t complain.

He spends most of him time at the beach anyways, this is just a place to lay his head at the end of the day.

He kept meaning to decorate; to paint the walls or hang up artwork or photos from home, he even bought picture frames but he never got around to it.

The sparseness of it never bothered him before but now, as he paces the floor in the living room, he’d love to have something other than the bare, off white walls to stare at.

He can’t seems to shake the thought of Geno from his mind.

Geno out there, somewhere, right now on a date with someone else.

He knows there’s nothing he can do about it and that he also doesn’t have the right to feel anything other than happy about it. This is what he’s been wishing and waiting for. He wants Geno to find someone that can love him back and give him all the things he deserves. He knew it was only a matter of time before it happened but did it have to happen so quickly? He feels like he didn’t have any time to prepare. He wanted to ease into this feeling and without the gradual progression he feels wrongfooted and off-balance and he hates it.

He hates not being in control of the way that he’s feeling.

It’s too early for him to go to bed and staring at the ceiling would be no better than staring at the walls anyways.

He could go pick up. It’s still early enough that there are semi decent guys out there but that window is rapidly closing and he doubts the press of another body would do any good anyhow.

He throws himself onto the couch and flips through the stations on the tv until he finds the local news. There’s nothing interesting enough to hold his attention after five minutes he shuts it off and stands.

He grabs his sweatshirt off the back of the chair, shoves his feet into his five dollar flip flops, and picks up his keys off the counter.

The sand is still holding the heat from the sun when he slides off his shoes and steps onto it.

The beach is mostly empty and the setting sun behind him is throwing red, orange, and pink streaks across the sky.

Sometimes he misses his Canada. The snow and the cold and the ice but now, with his flip flops in his hand, his toes in the warm water, and a breeze in his hair, he knows that there’s nowhere else he would rather be.

Sid looks out over the water until something collides with the back of his knees.

When he turns there’s a dog, a giant dog standing there with a ball in his mouth.

Sid would be a intimidated if it wasn’t for the dog’s tail whipping back and forth and the bright look in his eyes.

“Jeffrey!” A voice calls and when Sid looks up Geno is walking down the beach, barefoot with a leash folded up in his hand. “Can’t just run off like that.”

Sid has a moment of panic where he thinks Geno’s still on his date and this is how he’s ending it, with a romantic sunset walk on the beach. But there’s no one following after him. He’s alone.

“Sid,” he says with a small wave, “you finally meet Jeffrey.”

“I thought Jeffrey was a dog, this is a horse.”

“Yes,” Geno laughs, “children in my neighborhood call him that. Think maybe it hurts his feelings.”

“He looks pretty happy right now.” Sid eyes the leash in Geno’s hand. “You know he’s supposed be on that, right?”

Jeffrey drops the slobbery tennis ball at Sid’s feet and hunches down, waiting for him to throw it.

“Don’t have whistle,” Geno says as he points at Sid’s bare neck, exposed in the half zipped sweatshirt he’s wearing. “Off duty, can’t yell at me.”

Sid laughs and picks up the ball. It’s slimy and sandy and Jeffrey barks and wags his tail as Sid pulls his arm back to throw it.

“Not too far,” Geno warns, “very lazy.”

Sid tosses the ball about fifteen feet into the water and Jeffrey sits and stares at him.

“Warn you,” Geno says with a laugh, “too far.”

“It is not that far.”

“Already been playing for twenty minutes. Far for him.”

The ball is floating in the water, bobbing back and forth on the gentle waves.

“Now what?”

“Now you go get.”

“Me?”

“Yes. You throw, you go get. Favorite ball, Sid. Can’t lose.”

“Then he should be the one to go get it,” Sid whines but he’s already stepping out into the water. He’s mid thigh before he grabs the ball and Jeffrey barks happily when he sees that Sid has it.

“Hero, Sid,” Geno says as he sits down in the dry sand and Sid wades out of the water. “Now you have best friend.”

“Now my shorts are all wet,” Sid says as Jeffrey tap dances on the sand, waiting for him to throw the ball.

Sid chucks it a few feet to his left and Jeffrey dives after it before he wanders up the beach and flops down at Geno’s feet.

“Is that it for him?”

Geno nods and rubs Jeffrey’s chest with his bare foot. “Will sleep good tonight. Thanks for playing.”

“Barely did anything,” Sid says as he sits down beside Geno and smiles down at Jeffrey spread out in the sand. He’s filthy and happy and Geno is warm beside him.

Geno’s hand is moving back and forth in the sand between them and Sid stares down at it.

“How was your date?”

Geno picks up a handful and lets it drip through his fingers. “Bad.”

The tightness in SId’s chest starts to loosen. It feels terrible. “You want to talk about it?”

“No.” Geno glances at him. He looks embarrassed. “Bad for both of us. Happens sometimes.”

He tips his hand and lets the rest of the sand fall back to the beach before he wraps his arms around his knees.

Sid watches the shadows play across his profile for a moment.

“My ex cheated on me,’’ Sid says out of the blue and Geno’s frowning when he looks over. “We were together for a long time, high school sweethearts I guess,” he says with a wince. “I thought we were going to be together forever which is kind of stupid, right? We were kids.”

“Not stupid.”

Sid shrugs. “I actually followed him down here after college. He got a job and I wanted to be with him so I packed up everything I had and moved down here. We got an apartment and I got this job and two weeks later I found out that he had been seeing someone else and I realized I had just wasted years of my life on someone that didn’t really care about me. Going home felt like I was admitting defeat or something so I stayed here, got my own place, I met you,” he says and the corner of Geno’s lips pull up but his eyes still look sad. “But since then it’s like….I’m not the same, you know. I don’t trust anyone. I don’t date. It’s not you, Geno. I would love to say yes to you-.”

“I’m not your ex, Sid. Wouldn’t treat you like that.”

“You’re not him,” Sid says carefully. “But I didn’t think he’d treat me like that until it was too late. You don’t ever know.”

“I know,” Geno says fiercely and Sid leans into him. He rests his head on Geno’s shoulder and hooks his hand over the bend in Geno’s elbow.

With Jeffrey at their feet they watch the sky turn an inky black and the stars come back.

-

Sid’s been a lifeguard since he was fifteen years old.

He started at the local pool back home, yelling at kids who ran around the deck and the ones that tried to dive headfirst into the shallow end.

After that it was the lake and now the beach and in all that time he’s never had to use his CPR training outside of drills.

He’s seen other lifeguards use it and he’s come close himself but it’s never gotten that far.

It leaves him waiting for it. He knows it’s going to happen at some point and every morning he wakes up wondering if this is the day he’ll finally have to do it.

Tanger spots the kids first.

There are three of them in the water, too far out for it to be safe and when Tanger blows his whistle and waves them in they don’t respond.

“What the fuck,” Tanger says, “where are their parents?”

Sid looks out over the water. They look like they’re having fun, splashing and playing and treading water as they slowly move further from the shore.

Suddenly, it clicks and Sid is halfway down the ramp before he’s yelling “current has them,” back at Tanger.

By the time Sid hits the water the kids have figured out that they’re in trouble and are calling for help.

This should be a routine rescue. He knows Tanger is right behind him, who is probably followed by either Jake or Conor, two of the junior lifeguards. The season has been so quiet so far and this will be a good real life experience for them.

The current is stronger than Sid expected it to be and it’s a quick swim out to the boys.

They look tired but they’re treading water and Sid tells them that it’s going to be okay, raising his voice so he can be heard over the waves that are crashing on the shore and the shouts of their parents back on the beach.

He starts to loop his rescue buoy around the one that’s furthest from the beach but the boy doesn’t seem to want to cooperate. He seems too panicked to do anything other than cling to Sid.

“You’re going to be okay,” Sid tells him, “I got you, what’s your name?”

It takes a moment for the question to register with him before he says “Kyle.”

“Okay, Kyle,” Sid says as he loops the buoy around Kyle’s back. “I’m Sid and I need you to hold onto this for me, okay?” He unwinds Kyle’s arms from around his neck and says “all you have to do is hang on, alright? It’s a quick swim back to shore, I promise.”

Kyle nods as he grips the buoy and Sid promises again that everything is going to be okay.

Sid starts to swim parallel to the shore until they’re out of the current. Conor and Tanger are ahead of him and when they start to turn towards the shore Kyle starts yelling that he needs to save his brother.”

“They’re up there,” Sid tells him, “they’re alright, they’re safe.”

“No,” Kyle cries as he whips his head around and tries to get out of the safety of the buoy, “my brother, Ryan, he was out here with us, I don’t see him, you have to help him.”

Sid scans the surrounding water but he doesn’t see anything.

“He’s not out here,” Sid tells him as Kyle tries to swim the opposite direction, “you have to stop, we have to get to shore.”

“Ryan,” Kyle calls out and over Kyle’s shoulder Sid spots a head bobbing between the waves.

They didn’t see him. Sid didn’t see him and now he’s drifting further and further away as he fights to keep his head above the water.

Sid immediately starts swimming toward him but Kyle is dead weight behind him, exhausted from trying to stay afloat before he got to him and since the current has died down he can’t seem to make much progress.

“Sid!”

Geno is beside him suddenly sitting across his board and reaching out.

“Sid, I’ll take him,” Geno says, already reaching for Kyle. “You’re a stronger swimmer, go.”

“G-.”

“Go,” Geno shouts as he lifts Kyle onto the board and starts to paddle the both of them towards the beach while Sid takes off in the opposite direction.

Ryan is barely conscious when Sid gets to him and his eyes look glazed over.

“Stay with me,” Sid says as he holds him up, “stay with me, you’re going to be okay.”

He doesn’t respond and Sid swims back to the beach keeping his head above the water and offering words of encouragement and prayers that he’ll be alright.

Conor meets then when Sid is knee deep in the water with the boy in his arms.

“He’s not breathing,” Sid tells him as they hurry out of the water and Conor helps to lay him on the sand.

“We called 911, they should be here soon.”

“He doesn’t have time to wait for them,” Sid says as he kneels beside him and starts chest compressions.

There’s a crowd gathered around them now. Several people are filing while Kyle and Ryan’s mother cries to and tries to get closer.

Geno is the one to stop her, wrapping his arms around her middle and pulling her back while Sid stops the compressions and tilts Ryan’s head back, opening his airway.

Sid pinches his nostrils and leans down to give him two breaths, watching closely after the second one to see Ryan’s chest rise.

He continues with the compressions and the breaths as the sirens get closer and closer to the beach.

Finally, Ryan takes breath on his own and starts to cough up water.

A sigh of relief rips through the crowd as Sid tips Ryan onto his side to help him get the rest of the water up.

Geno loses his grip on Ryan’s mother and she rushes forward, first to hug Ryan and then to briefly hug Sid before moving back to Ryan.

“Thank you,” she cries as the paramedics push their way through the crowd. “You saved him.”

Sid starts to brush the praise off but he’s overpowered by the other beachgoers reaching down to shake his hand and by Tanger who slings an arm around his shoulders and pulls him into a hug.

“You did it, man,” Tanger says, “that was amazing.”

Sid hugs him back, heart still hammering in his chest, and watches as Geno breaks away from the group and grabs his board so he can head back into the water.

He disentangles himself from Tanger and runs after Geno. He manages to catch up to him just as Geno’s feet hit the water and Sid stops him with a hand on his elbow.

“Thank you,” he says when Geno turns around.

Geno cocks his head to the side and hikes his board up higher against his side. “Thank you for what?” “If you hadn’t have been there I don’t know if that kid would have made it. I couldn’t have made it back to the beach and then back out to get him. Thank you.”

“Sid, if it wasn’t me I would have been someone else. Lots of surfers out there today. Someone would have helped.”

“Yeah but it was you. You helped me. I have to thank you. Let me buy you dinner tonight? It’s the least that I can do.”

Geno’s quiet and for a moment Sid thinks he’s going to turn him down before he starts to smile.

“Okay, Sid. Sounds good.”

-

The restaurant Sid picks is crowded, even for a Friday night, and when they get up to the hostess table a frazzled looking waiter tells them it’s going to be awhile.

“We can wait or we can find somewhere else,” Sid tells Geno but before Geno can respond the waiter gets another look at Sid and points a finger at him.

“You’re that lifeguard that saved that kid today, aren’t you?”

Sid knows there were people filming on the beach and there’s a chance it was featured on the local news but he’s not comfortable with being recognized.

“No, I’m not-.”

“It’s him,” Geno says as he gently pushes him forward. “He’s the lifeguard.”

“G,” Sid hisses but the waiter is already grabbing menus from beneath the table.

“I think we can squeeze you two in,” he says, “follow me.”

He leads them to a table out on the patio overlooking the water.

There’s small citronella candle in the middle and the waiter tells them someone will be right over with drinks, first round on the house.

“Very fancy,” Genos says as he folds his legs beneath the table opposite of Sid. “Last time I come here they accidentally charge me for two appetizers and they seat me near the bathrooms.”

Sid shifts awkwardly in his chair. “It’s too much.”

“It’s not,” Geno says with a shake of his head. “You work so hard and you did a great thing. You should enjoy this.” He picks up the menu and blocks Sid from his sight, ending the conversation. “I know I will. Free drinks.”

Sid kicks him beneath the table and Geo laughs.

Their waitress smiles at the both of them as she sets down their beers.

Sid’s answering smile is weak as he wraps his hand around the glass, wet with condensation from the humidity in the air.

Geno sighs heavily and Sid freezes with the cup halfway to his lips. “What?”

“You okay? You look…..like worry. Already tell you that you should enjoy.”

“That’s not- I know.”

“Do you? Why,” Geno asks, “why you worry again?”

“I’m not worrying I’m just thinking about timing is all. Like, what if Tanger and I had waited an extra second or two before getting in the water? Maybe that kid wouldn’t have made it no matter what I did. Things can happen that fast.”

“But you didn’t wait and he did.”

“No, I know,” Sid says, frustration clear in his voice. “What if those kids waited a minute before they even got into the water, maybe the riptide wouldn’t have been as strong then and this whole thing wouldn’t have happened? What if I didn’t look that way when I did? Maybe I looked a couple of seconds earlier and called them in before the current got them.”

“Sid-.”

But Sid is on a roll and he isn’t going to be slowed down. “You want to know how I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me? I came home and I saw them kissing goodbye in the doorway. If I had held the elevator for someone or if one of the crosswalk lights didn’t change when it did, if I had been a moment later I wouldn’t have seen them. That guy would have been just another person walking down the hallway. I wouldn’t have thought twice about it.”

Geno bumps his knee into Sid’s beneath the table. “Sometimes we are right where we need to be right when we need to be there.”

“Yeah,” Sid says as he looks down at the menu. The words are blurring together on the page. His eyes slide over to Geno’s hand on the table and after a moment he covers it with his own.

Geno startles at the touch but doesn’t move his hand.

“Time is funny,” Sid says as his fingers curl around the side of Geno’s. “I think I’m tired of wasting it.”

-

Geno’s home is a small and tidy bungalow right on the beach.

Jeffrey meets them at the door with a full body wiggle and he yelps happily when he sees Sid.

“Remembers you,” Geno says as he grabs him by the collar and hauls him off in the direction of the kitchen. “Have to feed him and take him out, okay?”

Sid nods and follows him in.

There’s a blender filled with soapy water in the sink and a toaster out on the counter, unplugged. The front of the fridge is covered in tacky magnets holding up flyers for events around town and coupons for almond milk and yogurt.

Between them Jeffrey’s nails click against the hardwood as he bounces between them, looking for food or attention or both.

Sid drops a hand to the top of his head and scratches behind his ear as Geno measures out the correct amount of dry food and pours it into his bowl.

“Fast eater,” Geno says as he sets the bowl down and Jeffrey buries his head in the food.

“Like dog, like owner,” Sid muses and Geno clicks his tongue as he washes his hands.

“What’s that mean?”

“Oh c’mon, I’ve seen you go to town on those fries they sell on the pier.”

“Go to town,” Geno repeats with a disbelieving laugh. “Who are you?”

“You’re not denying it, are you?”

Geno shakes his head and laughs and Sid feels lighter than he has in years even when Geno puts on big hand on the side of his neck and pulls him in for a kiss.

“Sorry,” Geno says when they separate, much too soon for Sid’s liking. “Had to. Is okay?”

“I think you’re supposed to ask that before you kiss me.”

Geno drops his hand and Sid pulls him in by the belt loop on his shorts.

“No, it’s okay,” Sid says as Geno presses their foreheads together. “You should do it again.”

Sid sighs happily into the kiss this time and let Geno angle his head however he wants him. Close, as it turns out, Geno just wants him close and splays his hands across the small of Sid’s back to pull their hips together. Sid works his hands beneath Geno’s shirt and thumbs at the cut of his hips until Geno presses him back against the counter.

They kiss until Jeffrey scratches at the back door and whines and Geno pulls away with a frustrated sigh.

“Give me five minutes,” he says before leans in for another short kiss. “Five minutes and I’ll be right back.”

“Go ahead. I’ll just.” He tips his head towards the living room. Be snooping.

Geno nods and leans in to kiss him once more. “Hold thought,” he says as he touches his fingers to Sid’s bottom lip. “Just hold.”

He throws one more look over his shoulder as he grabs Jeffrey’s leash off the hook by the door and clips it to his collar.

“Five minutes,” he says and Sid laughs.

“Just go. I’ll still be here.”

Geno nods and hurried Jeffrey out the door, closing it softly behind him.

Once he’s alone, Sid doesn’t feel guilty about really getting a good look at the place.

Geno’s living room is small, or maybe it just feels that way with the massive L shaped sofa taking up most of the room. He can imagine Geno and Jeffrey snuggled up on it during a rainy day or watching TV together at night.

There are framed photos on all of the walls. Sunrises over the water and pictures of Jeffrey when he was just a puppy. Sid can follow a photographic timeline of him getting bigger and bigger until there’s a selfie of him and and Geno squeezed together on the couch, just how Sid imagined they would be.

There are photos of Geno’s surfer friends; some of them Sid recognizes from the beach and some that he’s never seen before. There’s also a couple of photos of Geno standing with his arms around an older couple. His parents, probably, and as Sid leans in to get a better look he can see that Geno is the spitting image of his mother.

Sid keeps moving, looking over the remaining photographs until he gets to sliding back door that opens up to to a small patio, and behind that, the beach.

There’s a plastic laundry basket filled with mismatched flip flops and several surfboards leaning up against the side of the house.

In the same way people collect stamps or rocks, Geno seems to collect surfboards.

The beach is more rocks than sand but the water looks decent and Sid doesn’t understand why Geno comes all the way to Sid’s beach everyday when he could step out his back door.

Behind him the front door opens and closes and Jeffrey scampers across the floor and curls up in the big dog bed in the corner.

When Sid turns around Geno’s hanging up the leash and smiles at Sid when he turns to him.

“Why don’t you just surf here,” Sid asks as he jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “It looks nice.”

“Ah.” Geno wipes his hands on his the front of his shorts. “No lifeguard here,” he says and Sid gets it.

“Oh,” Sid says as Geno steps into his space and puts his hand on Sid’s hip. “I see.”

Geno nods with his bottom lip tucked between his teeth. “What do you think of my place now that you have a good look around?”

“It’s nice,” Sid says as he takes another glance around before he looks up at Geno. “You have more rooms here, don’t you?”

“Have a bathroom, small office, bedroom.”

“You should show me that.”

“Want to see office?” Sid grabs Geno’s hand from off his hip and starts to pull him down the hallway.

As soon as Geno closes the bedroom door behind him the mood changes.

“Jeffrey sometimes nosey,” he says but he seems tense. “You want,” Geno starts before he trails off. He can’t seem to look away from the floor and he’s flexing his fingers at his side. He looks as nervous as Sid feels which is a strange relief.

Sid takes a deep breath and tries to push it away as he reaches for the hem of his own shirt and pulls it over his head.

It gets Geno to finally look up and his eyes are wide when he they land on Sid’s.

“Nervous,” Geno says as he slowly pulls his own shirt off. “Don’t know why.”

“You know we don’t have to do this,” Sid says, suddenly feeling like an idiot for standing there shirtless in Geno’s bedroom.

“No, no,” Geno says quickly as he steps forward and smoothes his hands over Sid’s shoulders. He takes a sharp breath as he takes it all in. “Want to. Don’t know how bad I want to.” He cups the side of Sid’s neck and presses his thumbs against the hinge of Sid’s jaw. “Been years, Sid.”

“I know. I’m sorry it took me so long.”

Geno shrugs one shoulder and smiles. “Long as you’re here now it’s all that matters.”

Sid tips his face up for another kiss and turns them around so he can back Geno into the mattress.

Geno huffs a laugh against his lips as he sits down and pulls Sid down on top of him. He runs his hands up and down Sid’s thighs as they kiss and then up his hips and down his ass.

Sid laughs when Geno squeezes and Geno pulls his hands away so he can run his fingers through Sid’s hair.

“Been years, Sid,” he says as he softly kisses the side of Sid’s neck. “Everyday I look but don’t touch. Drive me crazy.”

“Well you can touch all you want now,” Sid tells him and he can feel Geno’s smile against his skin as he slowly slides his hands back down.

He pauses at the chain around Sid’s neck and pulls back. He holds the 87 against the pad of his thumb. His knuckle is pressed against the hollow of Sid’s throat. “Pretty. What does it mean?”

“Birth year,” Sid answers and Geno nods.

“86,” Geno says as he lets the pendent slip free of his hands. He presses a kiss over it, his lips warmer than the gold against his skin.

“When I was young I used to wear one of those terrible shell necklaces,” Sid admits and when Geno lifts his head he’s smiling so wide it looks like it hurts.

“You serious.”

“Yes. I got my first summer job lifeguarding at the lake back home and I thought it was so cool.”

Geno’s shoulders shake when he laughs and Sid wraps his arms around him.

“Want to see pictures.”

“I think my mom has them.”

“Tell her to send them to me,” Geno’s hands spread across Sid’s back. “Very important, need to see.”

Sid rolls his eyes and scratches his nails through the hair at the back of Geno’s neck and tips his face up.

“Can we just kiss instead of talking about how awful my teenage years were?”

Geno nods and kisses the corner of Sid’s mouth before he says “going to come back to that though.”

Sid rolls his eyes and pushes him back on the bed.

From there it’s easy for Sid to get the rest of Geno’s clothes off. There wasn’t much left.

Sid sits back on Geno’s thighs and undoes his shorts while Geno pushes his the back of his head into the pillow and curls his fingers into the comforter in anticipation.

He slides Geno’s shorts down slowly and presses his lips to the new, pale skin that’s revealed.

When he moves back to kiss the deep copper color on his chest he swears he can taste the sun in his skin.

-

It’s still dark out when he opens his eyes.

Geno’s arm is lax around his waist and there’s a scratching at the door.

This is the first time in a long time he’s woken up beside somebody and he waits for the panic to set in.

He swings his legs off the side of the bed and sets his feet flat on the floor.

Geno’s sleeping soundly behind him, stretched out in the moonlight that’s pouring through the slats in the blinds.

It would be easy to leave.

Then there’s a hand closing over the top of his own and when he twists back Geno is looking up at him with one eye, his face still pressed against the pillow.

“Back to sleep,” he mumbles. “Still so early.”

“I think Jeffrey wants in,” he whispers, like speaking too loudly will break the bubble they’ve created for themselves.

“Can come in,” Geno mumbles, “if it’s okay with you.”

“It’s fine,” Sid says as he pushes himself up and crosses the room. He trips on a pile of their clothing and Geno laughs softly from the bed.

“Clumsy.”

“We should have picked up.”

“Was last thing on my mind.”

“Yeah,” Sid agrees as he opens the door. “Mine too.”

Jeffrey pauses to say hello to Sid before he jumps up on the bed and settles at Geno’s feet.

He sighs and rests his chin on Geno’s ankles then looks over at Sid like he’s waiting for him to come join them.

Sid could still leave. He’s still holding the door open and it looks like Geno has has fallen back to sleep. He could slip out.

Sid closes the door and pads his way across the floor and back into bed, careful to miss tripping on the clothes this time.

He’s not even all the way beneath the covers when Geno is slipping his arm around his waist and pulling him close.

Geno noses at the back of his neck and presses a soft kiss there before he sighs and asks “okay?”

Sid nods and he’s not sure if Geno saw it or felt it but there isn’t a follow up question and Sid can feel Geno’s breathing even out.

This is how it could be, Sid thinks. This is how it should’ve been.

Geno’s hand is pressed against his stomach and Sid threads their fingers together and holds on.

This is how it’s going to be.

-

The sky is clear and bright red as the sun hovers over the water.

Sid loves getting to the beach early. He loves a lot of things now.

He takes a bottle of sunscreen, a water bottle, and a towel out of his bag and nods to the joggers that run by on their usual route.

Sid knows when Geno has stepped into the beach before he can even see him. It’s like the air changes and something in Sid’s heart shifts with every step that Geno takes to get closer to him.

Geno has his board in his arms and a bruise blossoming at the base of his neck. Sid knows there’s a second on his hip bone that’s hidden by his shorts.

“Morning,” Geno says as he rests the board against the tower.

“You’re up early.”

Geno was still face down in bed when Sid kissed the back of his neck and told him he had to get home to change so he could get to work.

“Would have stayed in bed longer if I wasn’t alone,” Geno says as he unwraps his granola bar.

“I have tomorrow off,” Sid offers. “I could stay in bed all day.”

Geno smiles around his first bite. “You could, huh?”

“I could be persuaded.”

Geno laughs then and Sid thinks- he knows- that he’s perfect. He was so close to letting this pass him by. What a loss that would have been.

Sid holds his hand out when Geno takes his last bite but instead of dropping the wrapper into it Geno wraps his finger around Sid’s wrist.

“Hey,” he says, “feel like dating me today?”

Sid twists his wrist so he can grab ahold of Geno’s hand.

Behind Geno’s head the sky has shifted from red to pink but Sid can’t take his eyes off the curve of Geno’s smile.

“Yeah,” he says and watched fondly as Geno’s smile grows even wider. “I’d love to.”