Chapter Text
"Mia! If you don't wake up now, you're going to be late for work!"
I groan into my warm pillow, curling my large comforter up to my body as it refuses to be awake this early. Well, it's not that early. When I glanced at my clock after the rude awakening, it was 7:33 and that's not extremely early but Reagan kept me up all night gushing over some guy she flirted with the day before in one of her classes. She always romanticizes things beyond reality but I'm a good friend. I've stayed up way later than I should be listening to her fairytales.
"His strawberry blonde hair. His lip piercing. His hazel eyes. I wanted to die from cuteness! I still can't believe I gave a total stranger my number!"
It all floods back and I groan again, not wanting to remember the eternity long discussion about random guy #72. I really should have gotten to sleep sooner because I already feel exhausted. Don't get me wrong, I care about Reagan a lot and would never wish ill will towards her but she tries way too hard to force fairytale fantasies into real life that it's hard to watch sometimes. You want to believe that your friend can have that but you also don't want to deal with the aftermath of another loser not calling her or having sex with her to never talk to her again. I feel so bad for her and I can't blame her since her parents gave her whatever she wanted at the price of arm's length love, at least that's what my best friend Alex from back home told me. Alex and Reagan are cousins but very distant in both relationship and distance. I can't help but feel sorry for Reagan up to a point. As fortunate as I am that she decided to take me in, my thought was always "At least she has a home she could go back to."
"Mia! If you aren't out here in five minutes, I'm coming in there with a bucket of ice water!"
"Fine! Jesus!" I finally respond, rising out of bed like Frankenstein's monster. I walk over to the wooden dresser and pause before I start grabbing clothes out of the drawer and take a glance to the calendar near my desk to remind myself what day it is. It's Friday so I decided to dress down for work. Well, dress down slightly more since the dress code is already pretty laidback for me. It's nice having a job that isn't technically an office job, where I'm in a skirt and heels (unless I'm feeling a little feminine that particular day) going over papers and attending meetings. I was incredibly lucky to find a job in photography, even though it's not my truest of passions. I get to create my schedules and my clients always seem to leave me satisfied. One day, I'll get into doing videos. I just need to bide my time.
I pull out my nicest pair of blue jeans (only slightly frayed on the thighs), a clean bra and a pair of cotton underwear. I only have a two-hour shoot today at an art gallery and the mornings are usually quiet so I'll probably spend most of that time unbothered. I walk over to my closet and pull a long-sleeved deep purple shirt off the hanger and throw it on top of everything, finally completing my ensemble. As I start stripping, there's a knock on my door.
"Oh good, you're awake," Reagan says sarcastically, setting down a mug of (what I assume is) coffee. The aroma fills the air and I already start feeling more awake. Guess my coffee fix will have to wait until later.
"It's hard to not be awake when you're screaming bloody murder. I'm surprised the neighbors aren't banging on the walls already," I reply. Our apartment building isn't the greatest place but it is the most affordable. The pipes creak, the water is rarely hot, the walls are paper-thin and the neighbors are super loud but it's home. Reagan moves over to my bed as I pull on my pants.
"Richard called for you last night when you were asleep. Guess he forgot about the time change," she says, sitting down Indian style and making herself very comfortable on my bed. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow last night and I'm surprised the phone didn't wake me. Nevertheless, her information makes me very happy and makes me want to rush through my day. I've missed him while he's been away.
"Did he leave a message?" I ask, finally pulling the shirt over my head and sitting down next to her as I pull on some socks.
"Yeah. He said he'd meet you at the cafe after your shoot. Is that the only place you two go to?" She starts braiding her hair as she's speaking to me and I start feeling very jealous of her long, black, mermaid-like hair. Her vanity is never a confidence booster.
"One of the only places." I start running my brush through my medium length, brunette hair in the mirror, trying to make it as straight as possible. It'll end up a wavy mess and into a ponytail by the end of the day but I don't have the time to make myself up too much since I decided to sleep instead.
"Is he ever going to take you out for a nice dinner or something? For how much money he has, he sure is cheap about dates." My eyes automatically roll because this isn't the first time she's brought this up. It's gotten quite annoying at this point.
"One, we don't need to go anywhere fancy because that's not why we hang out and two, it's just hanging out. We're friends and friends don't go out on dates." Now she's the one that is rolling her eyes as I see it through her reflection in the mirror.
"Mia, that man ADORES you," she says, trying hard to emphasize her point.
"We're friends," I repeat, this time trying to emphasize the facts.
"You're delusional. You don't see the way he looks at you because you're too busy having this invisible force-field pushing him away." I honestly don't know what she's even talking about at this point. Now going to work is sounding a little better if it ends this conversation. I turn to face her, my annoyance very obvious in my face.
"Let's just say, for a second, that you're right and Richard is SUPER in love with me. He's on tour for like, half the year. When he's not touring, he's working on music. Both of those things alone get him the most beautiful women around the world." She scoffs at my line of thinking.
"What exactly are you saying, Mia? I'm going to hit you if you're saying that you're ugly."
"I'm not saying I'm ugly but I'm not exactly model gorgeous," I start, shrugging my shoulders, "I'm just me. I'm very average and something tells me that the women Richard gets are more than average." She groans and throws one of my pillows and I narrowly avoid it, turning back towards my closet to look for my cardigan.
"You are delusional! I wish, just for one day, that you could see outside of your body so you could see how in love with you that man is."
"I thought that something might happen but I'm fine that we're friends. We're close and he's probably one of my best friends now." This is when my second pillow comes hurling at my back and hits me in the back of the head.
"Excuse me? Am I chopped liver?" I hope she's joking. I mean, we do live together and she knows I consider her very highly.
"I appreciate the sentiment but you don't need to worry about me. I'm doing just fine. I need to go or I'm going to be late." I walk over to my bed and kiss her on the top of her head as a thank you for her attempt at a pep talk and head out the door, grabbing my keys and camera bag off the wall. I can't lie and say that this won't be on my mind my entire walk to work.
"Bis später, Herr Krause," I say, waving to the older man near the front door. He gives me a small smile and waves back before I exit. The shoot went by extremely fast, mostly because I didn't spend a lot of the time staring at the clock. Clients were very happy with how their pictures turned out and that's another small pay in my bank account. Speaking of, the clock on the wall said it was a quarter after 12 and Reagan told Richard I would be at the cafe at 12:30 so I don't have to hurry as much as I thought.
The city is quite busy, probably because people are leaving work early or grabbing lunch. I've loved living here for the past year, especially since meeting Richard and his friends. I had heard of Rammstein due to that being my genre of music but didn't know who they were or what they looked like until one night when I tried to steal Richard's drink.
The bar we were both at was super busy and we both grabbed a beer the bartender sat down, thinking it was for each of us. When we both grabbed it and tried to walk away, we ended up spilling it all over the bar. The bartender hated us but we were stifling laughter at the mistake. We still laugh at how our meeting was something out of a romance movie. He invited myself and Reagan to join him and his bandmates and from then, Richard and I became inseparable. He hit on me most of the night and I'm pretty sure he thought I would just automatically go home with him and was pleasantly surprised when I didn't.
I honestly didn't think I'd see him again until he showed up where I worked one day and asked me if I would have lunch with him. I was so curious as to how he found out where I was but I always figured I just mentioned it that night at the bar and he paid attention. They talked about music in passing but it wasn't until that lunch when people would beg him for autographs that I put together it what he did for a living, not that it changed anything. He's always been really fun to be around, even if it's just hanging out in a coffee shop.
As I round the corner, I see Richard through the large windows at the front of the cafe. There's a steaming cup of coffee next to an olive green journal that he's writing in rather furiously. I take a few seconds for myself and take in all the features I missed having near me but eventually make my way through the entrance. The bell above the door chimes loudly and Richard looks up, meeting my eyes with a wonderful grin.
"Ah, hallo Mia!" he practically shouts, immediately standing up to put his arms around me tightly, planting a kiss on my cheek. He's always so charming.
"How are you? How was New York?" I ask, letting him go and pulling out the chair opposite of him, laying my camera bag down carefully as I sit down. A waitress comes over and asks me for my order and since I know my paycheck isn't coming in for a couple of days, I just order black coffee. I can always eat when I get home.
"You aren't eating?" he asks, sitting back down at the table.
"No, I'm not hungry," I reply. Richard doesn't believe my lie for a second and when the waitress comes back over with my coffee, he orders a piece of cheesecake "for the frau." Before I object, he raises his hand to shut me up and I roll my eyes as a response, knowing that it's pointless to fight him. He's a force to be reckoned with and I think that's something I've always appreciated about him.
"I won't take no for an answer. You're always hungry for dessert. I'll also be paying the bill this time since you so very sneakily paid it last time while I went to the restroom," he says, playfully glaring at me. My shoulders go to an automatic shrug and I start laughing, thinking about how I did pull a fast one on him and he was kind of pissed about it.
"You paid for the time before. I just figured it was my turn," I respond. The waitress comes back with a very thick slice of cheesecake and my stomach growls automatically, Richard smirking at how my stomach proved him right.
"I know you better than you think." Richard takes a sip of coffee and closes the journal tightly, pushing it off to the side and giving me his full attention. He sort of just sits there, resting his chin in his hand and staring, not saying anything but making intense eye contact while I shovel bites of cake into my mouth.
"So New York?" I ask, reminding him that I asked a question.
"Ah yes! New York was great. I got a lot of work done, saw some old friends, and now I'm back here. For a while." He emphasizes that last part hard. I just nod and smile, not knowing what to say. He didn't tell me why he was heading to the states but I wished him well and told him to call me when he returned. I honestly thought he was just taking a vacation but it sounds like it was more business than pleasure.
"That's great. Are you staying in Berlin?" I ask, finishing the last of the cake and setting the silverware on top of the plate. I smile up at him as a thank you for the delicious treat. Richard does know me quite well by now, not that I would ever admit that to him.
"Yes, there's a house here that Paul, Schneider, and I are renting until we decide if we're going to go on another tour or make another album. Who knows, we could just break for another year," Richard replies, taking another sip of coffee. It baffles me that none of them have permanent residents around here but I guess being on the road makes it hard to take care of a home.
"When is the house warming party?" I ask and Richard starts laughing, shifting in his chair to cross his legs and rest his hands on top.
"The last thing I need is another party," he replies, grabbing his cup for the last time and finishing its contents. The waitress comes over and asks him if he would like more but he politely declines, giving that smile everyone loves so much. She lingers longer than needed, staring at him before finally leaving the check on the table and heading back to the coffee bar. I just roll my eyes and stifle a laugh, also finishing the last of my black, very strong coffee. All the sudden I feel very energized and the tiredness of this morning is gone.
As Richard pulls out his wallet, he looks up at me confused. "What's so funny?"
"You," I reply, very honestly, "You can't even go to a coffee shop without being gawked at."
"Gawked?" He asks, wanting to know what my very American vernacular means.
"Stared at. Adored. Worshipped," I reply, emphasizing the last one to stroke his ego. I'm not completely evil and will pander to him some of the time but that's mostly for my amusement.
"Right at this moment, I only have eyes for you, Liebling. You have my full attention." He leans forward, resting his arms on top of the table and leaning in close to me. I lean ahead in response and come very close to his face.
"Are you trying to use those rockstar charms on me, Herr Kruspe? Like I'm some groupie who worships you?"
"Maybe. Is it working?" His breath is very hot against my face and I don't let those beautiful eyes fool me for a second.
"Not even a little bit," I smile in my response, giving him a swift kiss on the point of his nose before sitting back down in my seat, crossing my legs and smiling smugly. His head drops and he starts laughing.
"One day, you'll submit. All women do."
"Keep telling yourself that, Reesh. Now tell me more about New York before I make you cry." My pandering can only go so far before I reign it back in.
"There isn't much I can talk about yet. I did take my children to the Statue of Liberty before they came home." I found out pretty early on that he had children. From the way he talks about them, he seems like a great dad, reminding me of a lot of qualities my dad had.
"I'd like to see it one day." He laughs and shakes his head.
"You're an American. How have you not seen the Statue of Liberty?" I just shrug my shoulders again, thinking about why I haven't seen it. It's not that interesting of a reason.
"The only time I've been to New York was when I was 19 and I only saw the airport because it was a layover," I reply honestly. It was a four-hour delay on my way to Ireland with Alex. She's always been the best travel buddy.
"You're missing out," he starts, taking a glance out the window before finishing, "Don't get me wrong, I love it here. I love Berlin but New York has an amazing energy to it."
"That's how I feel about here. I don't think I'd like living anywhere else as much as here. I better start looking for a German husband because I'm never leaving," I declare wholeheartedly while giggling through the sentence. It was a chance of a lifetime to come here but I'm glad I did it. I've fallen in love with this city. Richard chuckles and stretches out, groaning as his bones crack.
"We could always marry you off to Schneider. It's about time he settles down and has a family." He smiles but it almost instantly fades, as if he regrets making the joke.
"Wouldn't be so bad. We do get along very well and I mean, you got married," I reply, trying to poke some fun but hoping that my joke doesn't turn sour. He chuckles uncomfortably.
"And you've seen how that turned out." He's been very honest about he's still legally married but the relationship has been over for quite some time. "Life differences" was what he called it and I left it there. His smile fades and silence falls between us. I seem to have hit a sore spot and I feel some regret for my words.
"Do you think you'd ever get married again?" I ask, trying to break the silence and for my curiosity. He never seemed like the person who could settle down forever and when he finally could, he wouldn't need paper to tell everyone who the love of his life was, not unlike myself.
"I need to get divorced and meet my soul-mate first but yeah, sure." He replies quickly. Almost too quickly, like he either didn't really think about the question or had the answer for that question prepared way ahead of time.
"Why did you get married if she wasn't your soul-mate?" This has me thinking about really the only relationship I've ever seen: my parents. God, what a fucking trainwreck that was. I also couldn't imagine anyone being unhappy with Richard. I've only known him for a few months but I've adored all the things I've seen about him. He's fun to be around but the thing that impressed me was how loyal he is to his friends and family. He's my favorite person to be around. All he does is chuckle nervously, his cheeks turning a dull red.
"You're getting too deep for me and I think I'm too tired to give a real answer. I went from the airport straight to the rental house to drop off my bags and then came here."
I give him sort of a 'what the fuck' look and start laughing."Don't stay awake just for me," I start, standing up from my seat and grabbing my camera bag, "Go home and get some rest."
Richard's eyes widen and he places his hand over his heart. "You don't want to spend time with me? I'm so sad now." He makes a sad face before he looks up and starts chuckling. I walk over towards him and rest my hand on his shoulder. He automatically puts his hand on top of mine and I feel his warmth.
"I would love to spend time with you but I don't want to be the reason you're fighting sleep. Besides, I'm sure Reagan wants to do something tonight." He gets up and follows me out of the coffee shop, rushing ahead to hold the door open for me. The clouds are darker than earlier and it looks like rain is coming soon. Hopefully, not until after I get home.
"Don't make any plans," Richard says, shoving his journal between his arm and his side and shoving his hands down into his pockets, "Paul and Schneider want to see you tonight. They've missed your company." It is Friday and that's usually the night we drink and have fun. I sound so boring, having to schedule fun to a specific day but it's always worked out well for both us and the guys.
"That sounds fun. Are you going to be awake for that? You might need to call it a night." Richard's mouth drops before he laughs and pulls me into his arms, holding onto me for what seems like forever. He holds me close enough that I can hear his heartbeat and he rests his chin on top of my head.
"Why must you hurt my heart, Mia?" he says, although it sounds muffled with how he's holding onto me.
"Wouldn't dream of it," I reply, give him one last squeeze, "Call me with the address, okay?" I wiggle out of his grasp and give him a swift kiss on the cheek before.
"Bis später, Liebling."
"Reagan? Where are you?" I shout into the air of our shared apartment as I put down my camera bag and keys on the small table near the front door.
"In here!" I hear a faint reply from Reagan's room. I strut towards her room and the door is already cracked, music flowing through her small boombox and escaping through the open space. Sounds like some radio pop bullshit but I'm not one to judge. I'm surprised she gets along so well with the guys since she likes pretty much no kinds of rock but everyone manages. She turns around and greets me as I open her door.
"How were your classes?" I ask, throwing myself on her bed and getting comfortable, similar to what she did on my bed this morning.
"Fine. Super boring." She's been in school for a couple of years while doing some waitressing at night. Her parents have been paying for her school but told her she needed a job to pay her expenses to "get out there in the world." I almost laughed when she told me that but instead, I gave a nod of false understanding and didn't say anything. I wish I had parents who were wealthy enough to send me to school in a different country.
"What are you doing?"
"Getting ready. Why aren't you doing the same thing?"
"Because I don't know what I'm supposed to be getting ready for?" I reply, a very confused look plastered on my face. She didn't tell me about any plans, at least ones that I could remember making.
"Schneider called earlier looking for you. He invited us over. Did you know that him, Paul, and Richard moved into a place together?"
"I just found out a little bit ago from Richard," I nod. Schneider and I became pretty fast friends after we met, having a lot of similar interests in movies, video games, and music. While there was some initial attraction with Richard, Christoph and I clicked as friends very quickly.
"How was your date?" Reagan asks. I just roll my eyes and try to move past her implication.
"It was good. He's staying here for a while." I start fiddling with the hem of my shirt, not making eye contact with her, eventually feeling confident enough to look at her.
"Maybe he'll stop being such a wimp and start putting the moves on you for real tonight." I chuckle at that thought. He has already tried to "put the moves on me" and it hasn't worked out for him. Maybe if it felt a little more genuine...
"And maybe I'll win a million dollars and won't have to worry about bills anymore," I reply, crawling towards the end of her bed and sitting up. Reagan turns around and cocks her head, looking sympathetic.
"Do you need help with something? You know that all you have to do is ask."
"It's bad enough that you let me live here at a reduced rent. Believe me, that's enough." The nightclub she works at attracts some very wealthy people who love to give her a lot of money. She lives a fairly comfortable life, a lot of that due to choosing a cheaper place to live. Because she makes a bit more money than me on a more consistent basis, she decided that she would take care of most of the rent while I would just buy food and take care of things around the apartment. I've always been so grateful for her generosity but I can't say that it still doesn't make me uncomfortable sometimes. I know Alex told her my situation and Reagan would never bring it up.
"Well, if there's a problem, just let me know," she says, walking over and putting her arm around me, leaning in close and putting her lips very close to my ear, "Plus, you could always marry Richard and he could take care of your financial woes." As soon as I make eye contact with her, she smiles and I push her away before laughing myself.
"Funny enough, he was trying to marry me off onto Schneider so I can stay here permanently. So, are you going to try something on someone tonight? I'm assuming that's what this outfit is," I ask, pointing at her outfit. She's normally pretty reserved, wearing mostly t-shirts and jeans (much like me) but tonight she has on a very short mini skirt and a semi-sheer top.
"No! Well, I dunno ... I'm hoping that one guy will be there. The one with the goatee? He's really cute but he doesn't talk much. He talks to you, right?" There's only one person she could be talking about.
"Ollie? Yes, he has spoken words to me before," I reply sarcastically. Thunder clasps outside and I look towards the window, thinking about how hard it's going to be to get a taxi over to their house.
"Has he ever said anything about me?" Reagan's question snaps me back to the moment at hand.
"Not that I can remember. We usually just make small talk. He seems to be shyer than the others." The bassist has been nothing but nice to me but I'm usually the one that has to initiate conversation. I can't say that that's a bad thing since he says what he means and nothing more but it does mean that the others can easily talk over him.
"He seems nice. I think he's pretty cute too," Reagan starts, primping herself in the mirror. He doesn't seem like the type she'd normally go for and I wonder if she's lost interest in the last loser she met at work and is using him as her next conquest. The feeling doesn't sit well with me.
"Are you going to go get ready? I want to leave before the rain gets any worse."
"Aye aye, Captain," I reply, saluting her before leaving her room. She gives me a smirk and continues pampering herself as I head towards my room. I decide to stay in jeans but decide to exchange my normal, professional jeans for the ones that have a few holes in them. Stripping out of my work shirt, I exchange that for a tank top and then pull my cardigan back on.
When I get out to the living room, Reagan is waiting impatiently for me, tapping her foot against the tile. I give her a nod before she rolls her eyes and heads towards the closet, pulling my leather jacket out.
"You'll catch a cold if you don't wear a jacket," she says, shoving the jacket into my arm before walking to the door and opening it. She's usually not so pushy but she must be excited. I can't get mad about that.