Work Text:
***
I've been lonely, missing your body
You've been out of touch, you're so far away
Wishing you would tell me you're sorry
And you know you made a big mistake
Close my eyes and try to forget you
Every time I do, I just see your face
And after all this shit that we've been through
Why are you so willing to walk away?
- burning bridges by Bea Miller
***
Yuzu enjoyed the study room in the Cricket Club during this hour. It was late, practice was over for almost everyone, and there was only the gentle buzz of the last few lingering people finishing up their work before going home for the day.
He liked to read here, to review his tapes from practice, and sometimes just clear his mind. The room was simply four walls and an Ikea desk from the 90s, along with a few poorly maintained chairs to accompany it. It was plain and private, tucked away behind the rink and away from others during almost every hour of the day. Yuzu loved it.
Turning the page of his textbook, Yuzu thought to himself that his professor really didn’t need to assign so many pages of reading each week. He heaved a deep sigh as he absentmindedly spun his pen around between his fingers, glaring at the words in his book as if that would make him remember them faster.
The doorknob jiggled at that moment, Yuzu internally groaning as his serene study time was about to be interrupted. He expected a young skater, maybe a lost parent trying to find another room, possibly a janitor.
The last person he expected to see was Patrick Chan as the door swung open, one hand on the doorknob, the other hand clutching onto a thick stack of files in a manila folder. They instantly locked eyes, both of them wide-eyed and equally surprised to see the other.
Patrick’s mouth hung open in stunned silence, Yuzu able to see the cogs turning in his head as he was probably thinking the same thing as Yuzu: how to get out of this unfortunate, awkward situation as fast as possible.
“Why are you here?” Patrick suddenly blurted out, mirroring the exact thoughts in Yuzu’s head.
“I skate here,” Yuzu's tone was icy, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly, “Why you here?” Yuzu honestly didn’t intend for his voice to sound so cold, but he was tired, stressed, and didn’t exactly like Patrick’s accusatory tone when Patrick was the one that shouldn’t be here, at the rink Yuzu skated at.
“My coach needed something brought to Coach Orser,” Patrick stated matter-of-factly, his voice dripping with the same distaste it always had whenever he spoke directly to Yuzu.
It always amused Yuzu how much his presence irritated Patrick. How Patrick could never keep the edge out of his voice from slipping out when speaking to Yuzu, even around others. Javi was always assuring Yuzu that he was sure Patrick liked him just fine, that he’s “just like that sometimes.”
Javi.
Yuzu’s toes curled at that thought, pushing his mind back to the man standing in front of him. Back to the conversation, to what Patrick had just said, to the present moment.
“Why you bring it?” Yuzu asked, more to just say something than out of actual curiosity.
“I was in Toronto this weekend visiting family friends,” Patrick responded coolly. Yuzu nodded, humming in response.
Silence.
Yuzu was mentally screaming, wishing Patrick would just leave, the tension in the room awkward and stiff. But Patrick’s eyes were boring into him, Yuzu could feel it, even as he tried to pretend like his textbook in front of him was suddenly very interesting.
“Are you reading about psychology?”
Yuzu blinked. Was Patrick making small talk?
More importantly why was he doing that and why couldn’t he just leave? These questions stirred around in Yuzu’s head for a few seconds, still not making any sense until he looked up, meeting Patrick’s gaze.
Oh, Yuzu knew that look.
He had seen it a few times in Patrick’s eyes before, not quite being able to put a finger on it, not knowing what it meant. Suddenly it was so clear, the foggy look in Patrick’s eyes looked a lot like a certain someone’s when he used to flirt with Yuzu in their early years of being teammates. When Javi wouldn’t know what to say or how to keep the conversation going, their language barrier proving to be a hurdle when they were both so nervous, wanting to keep the conversation going but not knowing how.
Yuzu kicked his feet together to stop his wandering mind.
That look was in Patrick Chan’s eyes. That look of want and flirtatious hesitation, but this was a little more awkward, a little more unsure than Yuzu was used to. He could tell Patrick wasn’t completely sure what he was doing, maybe he didn’t even know why. It wouldn’t surprise Yuzu if Patrick hadn’t fully comprehended and processed his feelings, but Yuzu knew that stare from anywhere.
He felt Patrick’s eyes cut through him deeper and while the thought had never passed through Yuzu’s mind before, the thought of just messing around with Patrick was suddenly tempting. Yuzu was stressed beyond belief right now, these past few weeks being some of the hardest he’s had in awhile. It wouldn’t be so bad, just blowing off some steam.
The sudden desire to just feel and be held close overwhelmed Yuzu. He missed it. Yuzu wouldn’t admit it to many people, but he missed it so much. He missed him so much and Patrick would be a wonderfully convenient substitution in the meantime...
Yuzu bit his lip in contemplation. This wouldn’t be cheating, he knew that, he reminded himself. Afterall, Javi did say they could “do things with other people” if they wanted.
In fact, it was Javi’s idea. Javi was the one who told him three weeks ago that they "needed a break” and to “maybe try something new” and “see where things go.”
Well Yuzu was going to see where this goes alright.
He stood up suddenly, circling around the table in the middle of the room and drumming his fingers softly on the surface of it as he went by. Slightly startled by the noise, Patrick glances over at him, doing a double take as he clearly notices the look in Yuzuru’s eyes. The swing of his hips. How Yuzu’s licked and bit his lips, deepening their rosy pink color.
Oh, Yuzuru knows what his best assets are, and he knows how to use them to get someone’s attention if he wants to.
Patrick’s eyes are fixed on him now, his gaze lowering as Yuzu licks his lips again, tucks his hair behind his ears. Batting his eyelashes, Yuzu is standing directly in front of Patrick now, smirking at the older man’s expression, how his mouth hangs open in stunned silence.
Placing both his hands on Patrick’s chest, Yuzu pushes him back against the edge of the table gently, stepping right into his personal space. Their gaze never breaks. Light brown eyes against onyx ones.
“Um,” Patrick squeaks out, quite awkwardly Yuzuru thinks. He wasn’t very smooth or skilled in this area, Yuzuru could see that just by the way he moved -- he could even see it in his eyes, the way they looked at Yuzuru like a treasure he thought he’d never have.
Yuzuru brings a slender finger up to Patrick’s lips, shushing him softly.
“But-,” Patrick start again and Yuzuru’s had about enough. Without hesitation, Yuzu grabs that front of Patrick’s shirt, pulling his lips down roughly against his own.
Their lips immediately moved together in quick, sloppy kisses, desire clearly overtaking Patrick’s previous hesitation entirely. Yuzu smirked into the kiss, his arms circling around the other’s neck, pressing their bodies together as the kiss deepened.
Patrick was too excited, too rushed, and Yuzu liked it, thought it was almost endearing how this whole situation clearly exhilarated Patrick. Kissing one of your best friend’s exes. How bad Patrick must feel, Yuzuru thinks, but clearly not bad enough. It thrilled Yuzu, too, he had to admit, to know that he was irresistible enough to make someone do such a thing.
It wasn’t Yuzu’s fault, though, he told himself. Yuzu wasn’t doing anything wrong -- Javi said he could “try things with other people” if he wanted to. He never specified who exactly that had to be. Or who it shouldn’t be.
Yuzu giggled into the kiss when he finally felt Patrick’s hands grab his waist, bringing Yuzu to stand right in between Patrick’s legs. It suddenly felt very warm in the room, their tongues fighting for dominance now. It amused Yuzu that they were competitive with each other even in this.
Yuzuru groans and lets Patrick’s tongue in, feeling the other chuckle and run his hands up and down the slight curve of Yuzu’s hips. Yuzu let him win that one, but Patrick can think he won all he wants. He’s beat Patrick plenty enough times when it’s truly mattered, anyway. Yuzu can let him have this one little thing.
Yuzu instantly notices that Patrick wasn’t nearly as touchy as Javi, didn’t let his hands confidently roam Yuzu’s body like Javi’s did, didn’t know exactly where to touch Yuzu like Javi did.
Yuzu groans at his own thoughts, running his hands under Patrick’s shirt to feel his toned chest, begging his head to stop thinking about him right now. Yuzu silences those thoughts with the memory of Javi that he kept ruminating on for the past three weeks. How Javi had stood in his kitchen, how he fumbled with the water bottle in his hand as he spoke, avoiding eye contact with Yuzu. How he had muttered and mumbled as he told Yuzu that they needed a break -- he needed a break.
Needed a break from Yuzu.
“Just until Worlds,” he had said. “It’ll be good for us in the long run, Yuzu. We both need this,” he had said, as if he knew what Yuzu needed. When all Yuzu needed was Javi.
His fingernails raked down Patrick’s abs, feeling the fire of betrayal in his stomach again, fueling his movements. He brought one hand up to the back of Patrick’s neck, guiding Patrick’s lips down to his neck, showing him what to do, what he likes. Right now Yuzu needed this.
Patrick breathed hot, wet kisses to the side of Yuzu’s neck, nipping and sucking as his mouth roamed all over the smaller man’s soft skin. “Yuzu,” Patrick moaned, those two syllables never sounding more foreign to Yuzu’s ears than right now. His own name sounded so odd in Patrick’s mouth, so wrong.
“Yuzu,” Patrick moaned again, dragging his tongue across the younger man’s collarbone now, Yuzu realizing he’s never actually heard Patrick call him anything other than “Hanyu” or “Yuzuru” before. Patrick was doing his best, Yuzu could tell, but he clearly didn’t know how this worked, changing his head position every few seconds to get a better angle before attacking Yuzu’s neck with kisses again.
Yuzu’s eyes slipped shut, moaning softly as he pushed away the intrusive thought in his head that was bubbling to the surface. The thought that Javi knew all Yuzu’s favorite spots on his body that drove him crazy. Knew them like the back of his hand. Just as Yuzu knew Javi’s, too.
Yuzu ground his hips roughly against Patrick, both of them moaning loudly, Patrick kissing him on the lips again with more passion and desperation than before. Yuzu fingers tangled in Patrick’s hair, begging him to keep going as he felt Patrick’s fingers tracing the hem of Yuzu’s jeans. They were too tight right now. He need more than this.
It’s not enough.
Yuzu squeezed his eyes shut and groaned loudly as Patrick flipped their positions, pressing Yuzu against the table now. They’re both grinding their hips together, Patrick moaning louder with each roll of their bodies against each other.
Every place where their skin connected burned. Yuzu felt too hot, his clothes felt tighter, the room felt smaller. He pressed himself even closer against Patrick’s body, if that was even possible, moaning at the searing sensation.
He needed this right now. He wanted it and he deserved it.
Yuzu grabbed Patrick’s wrist, bringing the other’s hand to his ass, moaning in Patrick’s ear when the taller man squeezed each cheek roughly. The need in Patrick’s groan when Yuzu’s licked the shell of his ear made Yuzu’s stomach churn, his skilled tongue tracing behind Patrick’s ear to his earlobe, sucking hard, needing the skin with his teeth.
Yuzu could tell Patrick loved it, the way he groaned Yuzu’s name again and again. It always worked like a charm. He always loved it, too. And if Yuzu squeezed his eyes shut tight enough, it almost felt the same.