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She wasn't careful enough. That's what the problem was.
After their adventures four sweeps ago, she thought she could get away with anything. And she probably could have.
She was the thief after all. THE thief. That was her role, and she played it. She slowly drained the Alternian coffers bit, by bit.
But one day, her luck ran out. Someone noticed some misfiled paperwork claiming wages for people who didn't actually exist, or who had died a short time before. And they saw that one important key document that let it all happen was signed by her. It was normally signed by a carefully set up alias, but she wasn't paying attention.
It was all a game, to see what she could get away with, but she pushed her luck too far.
And now Vriska sat in the court of Alternian law. And she knew what she was up against. She had covered herself in scent as a last ditch effort.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
Terezi Pyrope's reputation in Alternian court was legendary. She had the highest ratio of wins to losses than any other legilacerator in the past hundred sweeps. Normally Vriska would have been relived to see her, but after their adventures in the medium, their relationship deteriorated badly. Vicious arguments cropped up between the two, along with the occasional bloody fight. If Kanaya wasn't Vriska's matesprite, being so experienced as a mediator, Terezi or Vriska would have killed the other sweeps ago.
But now it was just Vriska, Terezi, and his tyranny the judge. Terezi was a master as playing the game. That's all this really was, a game. No one cared if any laws were actually broken, it was just an excuse. You played by the rules, and most of the time you lost. Every so often though, someone beat the game and walked free, guilty or not. Catching someone breaking a law was just an excuse to play.
Terezi dropped a folder of paperwork on the table next to Viska. They didn't even look at each other. She gave another folder to the judge and kept one for her own records.
“Court is now in session!” The judge boomed. The crowd fell silent. There was always a big crowd in high profile cases like this.
“We'll move through this fast. I have a large docket today. Vriska Serket is charged with embezzlement of the Alternian government, a crime punishable by death. Pyrope, present your evidence.
“Yes your tyranny.”
Terezi pulled several sheets of paper out of her folder and held them up.
“Your tyranny, I've included copies of the evidence in your folder. You can see that there is paperwork to claim back pay from service in the Alternian military. As his tyranny and everyone in the court knows, Alternian soldiers are not paid until after their service. No use paying a dead soldier after all. Standard paperwork, except for the fact that some of these trolls have been dead for at least a sweep or have never existed at all!”
She held up another sheet. “Here is the authorization form for the distribution of wages to the soldiers from Serket's unit. As you can see, there are no report of suspicious activity or discrepancies. Serket should have noticed the names of soldiers that were never in her unit if she had bothered to read the paperwork!” She gave Vriska a nasty smile.
“Seems simple enough.” The judge said leafing through the paperwork lazily. “Does Serket have anything to say before she is sentenced?
“My signature has been forged, your tyranny.” It was worth it to see the look of surprise on Terezi's face. The crowd muttered
“Explain yourself.” The judge snapped.
Vriska shrugged. “That paperwork passes through any number of hands, before it gets to the treasury and back to me, and any number of trolls has access to it along the way. I have all my copies on file and there's nothing wrong with any of them. It's simple. Someone likely intercepted my paperwork somewhere along the lines, and slipped in copies of their own instead.”
“The signatures match up exactly!” Terezi snapped.
Vriska just shrugged again. “I can't comment on how good a forger the actual criminal is. All I know is that I have my paper trail and there's nothing wrong with it.” It was true. Vriska made sure to make legitimate copies of every crooked form she sent.
The judge sat in silence for a moment, then he took a deep breath and spoke. “Pyrope, as everyone here knows, you can smell a lie. Is she telling the truth?”
Terezi smiled nastily. “I don't know your tyranny. I wasn't concentrating, and I was all the way over here.” She stalked over to Vriska and stood in front of her. Vriska could almost see the dead eyes staring at her from behind her red glasses.
“Serket, repeat your testimony.”
“This is insane! She'll just say that I'm lying!”
“Now Serket, I'm sure that Pyrope will uphold the fine tradition of Alternian law and be as impartial as possible.” The judge grinned like a shark that smelled blood. Fine tradition indeed.
Vriska realized how stupid the scent idea was. To Terezi, a lie among all that perfume would still stink like a rotten fish in a flower garden. She looked up at Terezi desperately. She whispered. “Please, Terezi. Please, for old time's sake.”
“The time you killed Aradia? The time you crippled Tavros? Or the time you blinded me?”
Vriska started shaking. She started her testimony again anyway.
As she started, Terezi's grin started to fade. She took a handkerchief out of her pocket and wiped her nose. Halfway through. She wiped it again and then pinched the bridge of her nose.
It was working!
By the time she was finished, Terezi looked like she was suffering from a splitting headache.
The Judge looked at Terezi. “Well, Pyrope? Could you smell any lies?”
“I can't smell anything besides her stupid perfume!” She snapped irritably. As soon as the words left her lips, Terezi looked like the world dropped out from under her. She just exonerated Vriska! The crowd erupted.
“Order! Order! Very well. This IS a surprise. Serket, you will report back to your cell until all the paperwork is passed through. You should be released in a couple hours.”
Vriska slumped in her chair in relief.
“I KNOW she's lying!”
“You said your piece Pyrope. Choose your words more carefully next time.” The judge said airily. He shook his head “I'm disappointed.”
Terezi's arm shook with how hard she was gripping her cane. She threw it on the ground in front of Vriska's table and stomped out, looking sick.
Vriska picked the folder off the table and the guards escorted her out.
*
Vriska sat in her cell, but with the poise and smile of someone who knew that they wouldn't be there for much longer. Even the two guards talking about how lucky she was didn't dampen her moods. Terezi was right about one thing. You made your own luck.
Vriska, was therefore slightly surprised when the door to the holding center opened and Terezi stepped in. One of the guards next to Vriska's cell put his hand up.
“You're not supposed to be here legilacerator.”
“I'm not.” Terezi held up a small bag. It was stuffed full of beetles. “Neither are you.”
The guards smiled and walked out, grabbing the bag as they walked past Terezi.
She smiled at Vriska. Vriska just laughed.
“Ha! What's this? It's MY turn to gloat this time. I tricked the judge, I tricked the court, and I tricked your stupid nose! And you can't do anything about it, because you're stuck on THAT side of the cell!” The stepped towards the bars, just out of Terezi's reach.
“Hey, maybe you can console yourself with a date! I saw that guard checking out your ass on the way out.”
Terezi smiled wider. “He probably just noticed this.” She reached behind her back, under her coat, and pulled out a coil of rope.
There was a noose tied on one end.
Vriska tried to jump back, but Terezi was faster. She threw the loop through the bars and it landed right around Vriska's neck. Terezi yanked on the rope and Vriska slammed into the bars. Terezi used the opportunity to spin Vriska around so that she was facing away from the door. She threaded the rope over the cell door and she yanked. Vriska had to stand on her toes to get any breath at all. Terezi tied the rope to the bars of the next cell, while Vriska gagged and clawed at the noose
“You think you won Vriska? Maybe you did.”
Vriska heard the jingle of keys and she heard the door to her cell open. Terezi walked into her view, and picked Vriska's folder off of the cell bench. She lazily flipped through it as she walked back towards Vriska.
“The thing is Vriska, the only way you play is to win. You charge forward towards your goal without looking anywhere else. Also, you never pay attention to your paperwork.”
Vriska coughed in response. Her face was turning blue. Terezi pulled one sheet of paper out of the folder.
“The thing is Vriska, I left you some special paperwork.” she said as she held it up for her to read.
There was, in Terezi's own handwriting, the conversation that happened in the court room. Some words were different, and some sentences were phrased slightly differently. But more or less, that's what was written on the paper.
Vriska went even more bug eyed. Terezi knew what would happen! She played them! The planned the whole thing! It was all written down before the trial even started. Terezi laughed.
“Yes Vriska. You play to win, but I play to have fun! Who do you think slipped your perfume past the guards in your cell.”
“Kanaya...” Vriska rasped.
“Ha! Nope! They wouldn't let her near you. All me. I fooled the court, I fooled the judge, and I fooled you! You live and I outsmarted you anyway! We all win!”
“Why...”
“Why? Because Vriska. Because, I beat you and you live the rest of your life knowing it! Because I got to hear you beg me to spare you.” She walked up to Vriska so that her face was only an inch away and cupped her cheek. Her voice lowered to a whisper. “Because, from now on, whenever you wake up next to sweet, sweet Kanaya, whenever you send out more paperwork, whenever you do anything that reminds you that you're still alive and free, you'll remember that it was because I outsmarted you and everyone else. You owe it all to me.”
She stepped back and tugged at the handle of her cane. The blade flashed out and cut the rope right above Vriska's head. Vriska slumped to the floor, holding her throat and gasping. Her nose was bleeding badly.
“You play to win Vriska. But I was playing a different game. That's Alternian justice.” Terezi walked out of the cell and closed it behind her.
“Say hello to Kanaya for me.” She said. And all Vriska could hear over her own heavy breathing, was Terezi walking down the hall, laughing, and laughing.