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As she came in the she threw her mail on the counter and put her suitcase by the table, she’d put it away later. She had a long day and was looking forward to the weekend and relaxing. As she reached for the door of her refrigerator an envelop caught her eye, it was white with a gold pattern on it, very fancy she thought. Reaching for it she grabbed it and nearly dropped it as she saw who it was from. Clarke. Her childhood best friend, they tried to keep in contact but life got in the way and they couldn’t talk as much so it came as a surprise when she opened it and pulled out a wedding invitation. With wide eyes, she nearly dropped it as she saw who Clarke was going to marry, Bellamy Blake. She remembers Clarke telling her about him when they first got together, that was only a year ago, that’s kinda quick she thought. Her phone ringing brought her mind back, reaching for it she answered without checking the called id.
“Hello?” she answered as she kept ahold of the invitation and scanned over it.
“Hey Lex,” came a soft voice.
“Rae,” she responded as she let out a breath and placed the paper on the counter and raised her hand to her head.
“I'm assuming you got the invitation too,” she knew the answer but asked anyways.
“Uh...ye...yeah,” Lexa ran her hand through her hair.
“I didn’t think it would happen so soon,” she said with a huff.
“Me either,” Lexa said as she leaned on the counter with her hand and let her mind wonder.
****6 years old****
“Lexa...do you think...we’ll always be best friends?” the blonde girl asked as she sat on the swing.
“I hope so,” Lexa said with a smile.
“I saw my mommy wearing a dress yesterday and I asked what it was and she said a wedding dress,” Clarke said as she swung her legs and looked at Lexa.
“Was it pretty?” she asked with a big smile.
“Yeah. I can’t wait to wear one,” Clarke grinned up at the sky as she swung higher.
“I don’t want to,” Lexa whispered out.
“Thats ok, you can wear shorts,” Clarke laughed out as she pointed to Lexas shorts.
“I will,” came Lexas response,
“I’ll wear the dress and you wear the shorts, sound good?” Clarke looked over to Lexa who was keeping pace with her own swing.
“Ok,” Lexa smiled.
*******
“Lexa?” Raven brought her back from memory lane.
“Sorry, just remembered something,” Lexa let out with a heavy sigh.
“You still have time,” she said with hope in her voice.
“She don’t want to marry me….” Lexa whispered out, Raven barely heard. The softness and sadness nearly broke Ravens heart. They stayed quiet for a few moments, Raven let out a breath.
“Raven, can I...can...call you...back?” Raven heard Lexa sniffle and holding back her tears.
“I'm here if you need anything,” Raven said.
“I know, i’ll call you later,” Lexa spoke then hung up the phone. She let out a sob as she threw her phone across the living room, she heard it thud against the wall. She didn’t care about it right now. Looking at the invitation, she gave a weak laugh and picked it up again. It didn’t seem real to her. Lexa moved to her couch and sat down, reaching for the remote she turned the tv on and leaned back and glared at the paper again and threw it onto her coffee table.
**********17 years old*********
Lexas basketball team had just won the championship and the whole gym broke out in cheers and rushed onto the floor. Hugs and tears were spreading through her teammates. It had been a long grueling season, it was a surprise they even made it to the playoffs then onto the championship. Lexa saw her mom and dad moving through the crowd and she ran to them with a smile.
“You did amazing out there baby!!” came her dad's voice, he had a big smile on his face as he hugged his daughter.
“Amazing Lexa, just amazing,” her mother smiled and hugged her when her husband let go of Lexa.
“Thank you. It means so much,” Lexa had tears in her eyes but didn’t let them fall.
“LEXA!?!” came another man's voice, it was Clarkes dad, Jake.
“Jake!!” Lexa hollered as she ran to the man, he picked her up and swung her around in a circle.
“Honey put her down,” Abby gave a laugh as she watched her husband man handle the girl.
“I'm just so excited. That was an amazing game you played,” Jake gave Lexa a smile and looked over to her parents.
“Gus, Indra, your daughter played one hell of a game,” Jake laughed as Gustus reached out and shook his hand.
“Yes she did, we couldn’t be prouder,” Indra put her hand on Lexas shoulder. Lexa looked behind Jake and Abby and saw Clarke approaching with a big smile as well as a bouquet of flowers and stuffed animal.
“Lex, you did amazing,” Clarke threw her arms around Lexas shoulders and gave her a big hug. Lexa leaned into it, she loved being close to Clarke. They fit together perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle.
“Thank you Clarke,” Lexa felt Clarke pull back, she handed the stuff to Lexa then kissed her on the cheek.
“Hey guys, there’s a get together at the diner, you in?” came Lincoln's voice from behind Clarke. He gave Lexa a hug before they could answer, letting go he looked between the two girls.
“Sure,”
“Yeah,”
“You girls be home by 11,” Jake spoke up
“Yes dad,” Clarke said with a roll of her eyes.
The gym cleared out as most of the players went to shower and change and parents headed home. Clarke was waiting for Lexa when Octavia and Raven came up to her.
“Lexa was amazing out there,” Octavia said with a smile.
“Yes she was,” Raven said as she looked at Clarke, who seemed to blush a little at the comment.
“Want us to wait or head out?” Raven asked as she looked around Clarke towards the locker room doors.
“Go ahead. I'm not sure how much longer it will be,” Clarke pointed over her shoulder and gave a shrug.
“Ok, see ya there. Lets go Rae,” Octavia pulled the girl with her.
Lexa came out about 5 minutes after the other two girls left.
“Ready?” Lexa asked as she slung her bag over her shoulder with a smile. Clarke gave a nod and they walked towards her car. The drive to the diner didn’t take long at all. They could see all their classmates outside and inside the diner, all smiling and laughing.
“Lets go Commander,” Clarke gave a wink and got out of the car. Lexa felt a blush creep up on her cheeks. That was a nickname Clarke gave her when she was younger, she was always playing rough and beat up a few people who picked on Clarke so the name stuck. Lexas teammates even took up calling her the Commander.
“LEXA!!!” came shouts as they approached the doors with smiles. They ordered their food and sat down at the table Raven and Octavia as well as Lincoln and Jasper sat at.
“So….how are you feeling Lex?” Jasper asked as he stuck a few fries in his mouth.
“Uhh...happy...excited….thrilled….surprised...you name it,” she laughed as she looked around the table at everyone. She felt Clarke put her arm around her shoulder and it took all her willpower to not let her shiver show, the goosebumps made it but she rubbed her arms to make them go away. Raven saw and gave a soft smile to Lexa.
Raven remembers when she found out Lexa had feelings for Clarke. They were out on the dock behind Ravens house, talking and fishing, well trying to.
“Hows Costia?” Raven asked as she cast her line out.
“Umm...were….we’re not together anymore…” Lexa kept her eyes out on the water.
“I thought you liked her, what happened?” Raven put her hand on Lexas arm and pulled it a little to get the brunette to look at her.
“I...had….or...well...have feelings….for someone else….” Lexa let out as she looked at Ravens hand on her arm.
“Oh. Did she find out?” the smaller girl asked as she looked a Lexa again then out to the water.
“She saw me staring at this person and she told me I never looked at her like that in the 8 months we were together so….” Lexa finally looked at Raven.
“Its Clarke isn’t it?” Raven asked with a sad smile. Lexa gave a little nod.
“I’ve seen that look, you look at her like she hung the moon and stars, Commander heart eyes,” Raven laughed and Lexa rolled her eyes.
“She doesn’t see me like that,” Lexa softly said as she gave a sigh.
“How do you know that?” Raven could’ve sworn she saw Clarke look at Lexa the same way.
“It’s just a feeling,” Lexa gave a huff and tossed her line out.
“Ok,” and they didn’t talk about it after that.
Raven smiled at the fond memory, she hoped the two would figure things out before it was to late.
“Well I need more food, anyone else?” yeahs came out of almost everyone at the table and they got up to leave.
“This is nice” Clarke said as she kept her head on Lexas shoulder.
“What is?” Lexa asked with a furrow of her brows. She felt Clarke lift her head slightly and give Lexa a soft smile. Lexa felt her heart pounding in her ears, her eyes darted between Clarkes blue eyes and her lips. Lexa saw Clarkes do the same. It was like slow motion as they leaned in.
“This is,” just before their lips met someone pounded on the window next to them and they jumped apart. So much for the kiss, is all Lexa thought.
****Present time******
The wedding was two months after Lexa received the letter. She showed up to the bridal shower with Raven by her side.
“Damn, they went all out,” Raven whistled as they stepped into the house and looked at all the decorations.
“Yeah they did,” Lexa let out the breath she didn’t even know she was holding.
Lexa and Raven rounded the corner and saw all the bridal party standing around Clarke with smiles on their faces. Clarke made eye contact with Lexa and waved at her with smile on her face. Lexa raised her glass at her with a sad smile. Raven saw it and put her hand on Lexas shoulder.
“Hey,” came a voice from behind them and both girls turned to see Jake with a smile.
“Jake, nice party,” Raven said as she looked around.
“It is,” he said but it sounded forced.
“Where’s Abby, I need to ask her something…..” Raven looked around the man, trying to ease the tension.
“Kitchen I think,” he nodded his head. Raven smiled at the two and walked off.
Lexa gave a sigh as she felt Jake put his arm around her shoulders and pull her close. He felt Lexa tense up when Bellamy came up and pulled Clarke close to him and danced a little then kissed her.
“I always thought that would be you,” Jake let out softly. Lexa tore her eyes away from the happy couple and to Jake who had a sad look on her face.
“What?” Lexa let out with a huff.
“You heard me, that….should be you,” he pointed his finger at his daughter and Bellamy.
“She don’t wanna marry me,” Lexa pushed Jakes arm off her and moved away from him. Jake caught up to her and grabbed her wrist softly.
“I know my daughter and she is madly in love with you...not that guy…” Jake said with unshed tears in his eyes.
“You don’t know that,” Lexa felt a tear roll down her cheek and Jakes hands came up to hold her face and catch more tears if needed.
“I do, a father knows. Clarke loves you just as much as you love her. Her eyes don’t light up for Bellamy like they do when we talk about you or even mention you. I know you would make her happy but its all up to you Lexa, do something, please for the sake of your heart and hers, or you’ll regret this for the rest of your life,” he spoke soft and from the heart, Lexa felt more tears spill out and him catch them. Jake pulled her closer as she buried her head in his chest, he leant down and kissed the top of her head.
“I love her Jake, more than anything,” Lexa let out through a sob.
“I know,” Jake said as he rubbed a hand on her back. Abby came around the corner followed by Raven, both had sad smiles on their faces and Jake just nodded.
It was the day of the wedding and Lexa was beyond freaking out. She had talked to Raven the night before, about what Lexa would say and do when she spoke to Clarke. Lexa felt like she was going to pass out, she was so nervous. She grabbed her gift and headed to her car, the drive was about an hour, so she had time to think about all she wanted to say. Lexa parked her car and sat for a minute to gather the courage, with one deep breath she got out and walked towards the house where the bridal shower was held. Making her way through the house, their seemed to be more people than before. She approached what looked to be a guest book and gift table. Lexa saw pictures of Bellamy and Clarke, the one where he proposed hit her right in the heart, another one of them kissing had her almost crying. She looked down at her gift and placed it on the table and went to walk away when a hand grabbed her.
“Dont run,” Abby spoke as she rubbed her thumb across Lexas hand.
“I'm not,” came Lexas response. They shared a sad smile and looked towards the seating area. The guests were starting to sit down and she saw Bellamy standing at the end with her groomsmen, he had a big smile on his face as he waited. Abby felt Lexa stiffen as she took in the scene in front of her.
“Abby….I ca...can't….” Lexa pulled her wrist away, the woman didn’t put up much of a fight.
“Lexa,” Abby said as she watched Lexa almost run out of the backyard. Jake approached Abby and laid his hand on her shoulder.
“Clarke wants to talk to you,” he said to her with a little smile.
“Lexa left,” Abby said as a tear escaped her eye. Jake hugged her then nodded towards where Clarke was waiting.
Lexa practically ran to her car when she made it out of the yard. It took her a few tries to even start the car, she had no idea where to go then it hit her, the diner. Lexa walked in and loosened the tie she was wearing, she sat down and put her head in her hands and ran them through her hair. She looked around, there were a few people in there, she glanced at the waitress, she was busy with another customer so Lexa pulled out a flask and poured some into the coffee cup in front of her.
Abby made her way to the tent where Clarke was at. As she walked in she could see the tension in her daughter's body.
“Clarke...honey…”Abby approached with her hand out.
“Mom….I….am….freaking out….” Clarke was crying, good thing her makeup was waterproof.
“Why?” Abby asked as she dabbed at the tears on her daughters face.
“Am I really doing this….like...its...this….its right….right….” Clarke paced in front of her mom and motioned everywhere with her hands.
“Clarke that’s up to you,” Abby let out with a sad smile.
“I dont….dont know…” Clarke stopped and looked at Abby with so much confusion on her face it hurt Abby to see.
“You don’t know if it's right?” she asked, Clarke gave her a duh look and Abby sighed as she reached for her daughter.
“Mom….I love her….”
“I know,” Abby said with a smile.
“Wait….what...you...you...knew?” Clarke pulled back and stared at her mom. Abby looked down and let out a breath then looked at Clarke with tears in her eyes.
“Oh god...what...oh...Le...Lexa,” Clarke gasped and threw her hand over her mouth.
“She left,” Abby spoke as tears rolled down her cheeks.
“She...left….what...what...when…” Clarke was trying to figure out what to do.
“About 10 minutes ago...now…..” Abby looked down at her watch then back to her daughter, who was still crying.
“I...mom…” Clarke looked to be debating what to do, she was looking at Abby for anything, a sign, signal, something.
“She loves you baby, more than anything,” Abby said as she whipped her tears, she didn’t care about her makeup anymore. It seemed like there wouldn’t be a reason to have it perfect anyways, if the way Clarke was looking right now.
“Where’s dad?” Clarke said as she took off her heels and grabbed her converse and slid them on.
“Probably at the car by now,” Abby gave a wet laugh and watched as Clarke ran out. SHe almost took out Bellamy as she exited the tent.
“Clarke...wait…” he tried to get her attention.
“Bell, I can’t….this isn’t….you don’t want me….” Clarke stopped and looked at him.
“But….” he didn’t know what to say.
“Its Lexa, Bellamy its always been her,” Clarke let out with a laugh, as if she just realized what she said.
“Oh ok….” Bellamy looked torn.
“Lexa...she's...perfect for you. I don’t know why you ever said yes to me, we all knew it was her, that held your heart,” Bellamy said with a smile.
“Go get the girl,” he waved Clarke off.
Clarke slide down the gravel driveway as she tried to stop and find her dad, he saw her first.
“Clarke!! Over here,” he waved his hands to get her attention. Clarke sprinted to him as he held the door open for her.
“I love her dad,” Clarke said breathless as she slid into the passenger seat.
“I know,” Jake said as he closed the door and moved to get into the driver side.
“Where to?” he asked as he made it to the end of the driveway and looked at Clarke.
“The diner,” she said with a big smile. He smiled back and turned towards the diner. Clarke was a nervous wreck as they got closer to diner, she could see the sign from where they were.
Lexa sat by the window and looked out as she took a drink of the whiskey in her cup. She set it down and pulled out a picture of her and Clarke from the night her team won the championship. She stroked it with her finger and smiled softly. Lexa placed it down and grabbed the cup again and twirled it around her hands.
Jake stopped the car in front of the building, they both looked up and saw Lexa sitting there with her head down and staring at the glass in her hand.
“Now or never kiddo,” Jake said with a smile as he looked over to Clarke. Her eyes were glued to Lexa.
“I love her….” Clarke whispered out as she opened the door.
“Tell her that,” Jake said as he turned off the car.
Clarke walked up towards the window, Lexa still hasn’t looked up from her cup so Clarke stepped closer. She must of cast a shadow or blocked sunlight because Lexas head flew up and she just stared at her. Clarke waved her hands up, in a I don’t know shrug then placed her hand over her mouth and sobbed. Lexa was out of her seat in seconds and had Clarke in her arms in less time.
“Oh Clarke….” Lexa said as she held the woman in her arms.
“I couldn’t Lex…” she hiccuped and held tighter to Lexas arms.
“Couldn’t….what….wait…” Lexa pulled back and took in Clarkes dress.
“You didn’t get married?” Lexa asked with wide eyes.
“No….he...I want you Lexa,” Clarke placed her hands on Lexas face and stroked her cheeks with her thumbs.
“Clarke….oh god...Ive been dying to hear those words,” Lexa felt tears roll down her cheeks, she gave a smile.
“Lexa, you’re my best friend...I couldn’t ask for anyone better than you to be with, I love you so much,” Clarke started to cry, she felt Lexas hands on her hips and pulled her closer.
“You’re my best friend too. I love you too Clarke so much,” Lexa leaned her forehead against Clarkes and grinned.
“So….can...can I...kiss you?” Lexa asked with a soft voice, Clarke closed her eyes and gave a nod. Lexa pulled Clarke closer by her hips and Clarke kept her hands on Lexas face as they both leaned in. Their lips touched and it was fireworks. The whole world faded out, it was just the two of them. Soft touches, soft lips. Clarke swiped her tongue along Lexas bottom lip and was immediately granted access, they explore each others mouths softly and fully. A voice from behind them startled both and they looked to see Jake.
“About damn time girls,” he said as he pulled them both in for a hug.
“I love you Clarke”
“I love you too Lexa,”
“She don’t wanna marry me…..whatever you say Lexa, just make sure I get the invite,” Jake let out with a laugh as Lexa hit Jake in the stomach with her elbow.
“I want to marry you Lexa, more than anything,” Clarke said as she reached up and held Lexas left cheek with her hand.
“I want to marry you too Clarke,” Lexa said as she leaned over and kissed Clarke. Jake smiled at them and hugged them closer. His daughter was happy, thats all that matter to him.