Chapter Text
“You okay?”
Jensen looks up at Jared and holds his wineglass out for a refill. “Yeah- what makes you say that?”
They’re in the room adjacent to the main hall where they’ve just wrapped their panel and taking advantage of a few minutes of privacy to decompress after the adrenaline rush of a thousand screaming fangirls and boys.
Jared quirks his lips in that way he does that signifies he knows Jensen too well for him to bother hiding anything. “Nothing. Well- you looked a little freaked at the questions about fanfic. I just wondered…”
Jensen makes a rude sound and shakes his head. “Nah- no, that shit doesn’t bother me. I mean, it’s weird- and creepy- but no. I’m cool with it. Yeah, m’fine.”
Truth is, he’s weirded out with the idea of people writing stories about him and Jared; always has been. He thought after nine seasons of Supernatural and Smallville before that he’d be used to it, but the fact is, he’s never been comfortable with knowing everyone from kids to grandmas are writing bad porn about him.
“You know you just added fuel to the fire when you endorsed that shit, right? I mean, Jesus, ever since that interview, half the damn questions at cons are about fanfic.” He takes a swallow of wine and grimaces as it hits his empty stomach. “It’s fucking creepy.”
Jared snickers and drinks from his glass, eyeing him over the rim. “Come on, it’s not that creepy. Well. Yeah- some of it is, but there’s actually some pretty well-written stuff there. You’d know if you bothered to read it. “
Jensen pours the last of the bottle into his glass. “No thank you. You wanna read it, be my guest. I have no intention of reading any of that weirdo crap. Have you heard what they’re writing about? Not only are we fucking, but I hear half the time we’re werewolves or some shit.”
“We are fucking.” Jared can’t keep the grin off his face. Jensen flustered and blushing is a beautiful thing.
“That’s beside the point and you know it. But you heard me, right? Werewolves! With knots- and I know you probably know what that is but I had to ask-“
“And self-lubricating assholes.” Jared finishes, slurping the last of his wine. He’s grinning so hard that his cheeks are hurting.
“Gah! Don’t even tell me that! Fucking gross!” He holds his hands over his ears and makes a face. “Who the hell even thought that up? Wait-. Are you reading that stuff?”
Jared slides him a look that says he knows that Jensen knows he does. “Are you gonna pretend I haven’t been reading fic for years, now? Come on.”
Jensen sits back, his mouth pulled into a frown. “Yeah, okay. But it’s one thing to know it’s out there and another to have someone ask you about it. At every. Freaking. Con. What am I supposed to say, ‘Yes, I love being the object of your twisted imagination. Please, more Lobster!Jensen stories- I love those.’”
Jared puts his hand on Jensen’s knee and squeezes it reassuringly. “Look- it’s not so bad. It’s not really you and me. Try not to take it personally.” He sits closer, throwing his arm around Jensen and dragging him under his shoulder. “None of it’s real. If anything- take it as a compliment. So what if you’re immortalized as a lobster or a panda.”
“A panda-?” Jensen rolls his eyes. This is getting better and better. “And what’s with this Freckle-whatever that one girl was asking about? I thought the room was gonna erupt when she asked if we ever read their stuff?”
Jared runs his hand along the base of Jensen’s skull, massaging at the knot of tension he feels there. “frecklecounter69. Some hot new writer, I guess.”
“Cute name,” Jensen replies, closing his eyes. “What’s their schtick? More pandas? Or what- we’ve got tentacle cocks or – no, wait, we’re pregnant, I bet, is that it?”
Jared chuckles softly, kneading firmly at the knotted muscles that he feels slowly relaxing under his fingers. “I think they write pretty much normal man on man fucking. It’s actually very good, I’m told.”
Jensen nods sleepily. Getting up to catch the early flight is beginning to take its toll and he can feel himself drifting off. “Well, that’s good. ‘Cause Christ, if they knew how good it was fucking you they wouldn’t need to make up crazy shit like goddamn tentacles.”
His breathing slows as he relaxes into it and he begins slightly snoring.
Jared smiles at the sight of Jensen sleeping as if he doesn't have a care in the world. He gets up carefully to avoid waking him and walks to the laptop sitting on a nearby table. Setting his empty glass aside, he boots up the computer and checks for an internet connection. As he navigates to the AO3 homepage, he keeps one eye on Jensen, then types frecklecounter69 and hits enter.
**