Work Text:
said you’d leave the light on
find some sleep
.
yoongi’s night time playlist was playing on shuffle. his favorite song came on, automatically recognizing it. as the opening instruments and incoherent speaking began, yoongi turned on his side.
there lay jimin. his mouth was ajar and whispering indecipherable nothings, yoongi’s name slipping out somewhere in between. short black hair fell over his eyes which the older boy couldn’t help but to tuck behind his ear. his bare chest rose and fell with steady breaths, light pink blush littering it from the warmth of the blankets.
dark and bitten lips, soft curved nose, crescent eyes with long, pretty eyelashes. yoongi wrote down every feature in his memory. he never wanted to forget jimin in a million years. lightly he traced his fingers over his arms, muscled and yet still delicate. his fingertips finally met the smaller ones and intertwined them.
”i’m so lucky,” yoongi whispered into the air, still staring at jimin’s resting frame. he had nothing better to do. jimin had insisted on keeping at least one light on, as per usual, before falling asleep.
”i don’t like the dark, yoon. please, can we keep it on?” jimin pleaded with his sweet puppy dog eyes.
a huff escaped him exaggeratedly. “fine. only for you, jiminie.”
yoongi was falling.
falling harder.
.
slipping slow motion
out of me
.
it was all too slow. the kisses, the touches, the smiles. it had only been an hour and yet felt like an eternity.
it started with some cuddles on the couch, tangled limbs, messy hair, tv playing randomly. yoongi had accidentally fallen asleep with a smaller boy tucked underneath his chin. when jimin had heard quiet snores above him he got his phone out, deciding he wasn’t tired enough to nap but too lazy to move from this wonderful position. after checking his socials and played an array of games he decided it was all too long that his boyfriend had been asleep and he wanted attention.
jimin turned over to face yoongi’s face but was confused as he met his neck instead.
”oh,” he giggled. this only gave him another idea, though. he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to yoongi’s adam’s apple. a laugh left him as it bobbed, the boy above him letting out a grunt. jimin could only lean back and repeat himself over and over. yoongi was ripped from his slumber because of the irritation.
”stop it, jimin. ‘m tryin’ to sleep,” yoongi mumbled in a groggy voice.
”no, you’ve been sleeping for too long.” he placed another kiss. “i want attention.”
”jimin-ah,” yoongi whined, dragging out the last sound. “stop.”
jimin continued to giggle and do as he pleased, waiting for the other to wake up. finally yoongi had had enough. unexpectedly he flipped them over, pinning the smaller boy down beneath him. shock was written on jimin’s face.
”’k. i’m giving you attention.”
jimin broke into a smile. “yay!” he squealed before dropping a kiss onto the lips of the boy hanging above him. “now that you’re awake, can you please kiss me? i really missed you this past week.”
”i’m sorry, jimin. i’ve been super busy, unfortunately. but that’s why i took time off today to be with you,” yoongi replied with a cheeky smirk. he leaned down and slotted his lips against jimin’s, the younger letting out a hum of contentment.
his hands reached around to the back of yoongi’s neck, fingers tangling in the hair at the end. neither of them let go of each other, all too happy to be together after their extremely busy and tiring week. yoongi had been working day and night on the new album, alternating between meeting with namjoon, hoseok, and other producers. jimin had been spending hours in the studio pushing himself further with the choreography newly introduced to them with jungkook and taehyung, and hoseok when he had the time. after his tiring day he’d come home to an empty bed, occasionally yoongi would come later in the night. sometimes he wouldn’t. the growing crave of seeing his boyfriend was too much for jimin. he wanted to spend some time with him, even if it was just five minutes. so this moment now, lips pressed together, hands roaming, was more than enough for the both of them.
eventually they let go, yoongi carrying jimin to the bedroom, crushing their lips back together. but that’s all it was. kissing. and light touches.
yoongi broke away to look into the younger’s eyes, foreheads together. “i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to make you feel so lonely.”
jimin let out a tiny breathy laugh. “it’s okay. i was busy, too, anyway. all that matters is that you’re here now.”
a smile broke onto yoongi’s face. jimin was so positive. it kinda made him want to smother him in kisses. so that’s what he did.
he started at the cheeks, making sure they were flushed before he fully pulled away. then he moved onto his forehead, nose, eyelids, chin. every place made jimin giggle. yoongi’s heart soared with each one. he couldn’t stop now. not when that beautiful sound was coming from his mouth.
”each kiss,” he started to say in between pecks,”is an apology.”
”yoongi, that’s not necessa-“
”yes, it is. i want you to know that i thought of you all week. every moment. every song i’ve been working on is for you. because i love you.”
jimin rubbed his thumbs across yoongi’s cheeks. “i love you, yoongi. you’re such a sweetheart.”
yoongi erupted into a smile before returning back to his task, removing jimin’s shirt to place kisses along his collarbones and chest. sweet and slow. jimin let out small sighs of contentment occasionally. he was so happy to have his love in his arms.
this continued all around jimin’s body, light trails of yoongi’s lips across smooth tan skin, goosebumps rising everywhere. yoongi loved the reactions he got. whether it was a sound, an emotion, a feeling, he loved it. because it was jimin.
finally he reached back up to the younger’s lips, a long press of their lips with no desperation. it was only full of love. and slow.
slow motion.
yoongi was falling harder.
.
hiding in the water
out at sea
.
jimin had just come home from dance practice when he received a text from hoseok.
hoseok
i’m sorry. we both know i didn’t mean it.
we’ve all been super stressed this week, mentally and physically
pls don’t beat yourself up about this, i know how you are
text me so i know you’re okay pls
jimin threw his phone onto the couch before pressing his back to the front door and bursting into tears. his best friend, his best freaking friend, had hurt him, cut him deeply. it felt like someone had stabbed him not only in the back but in his heart, too.
the studio’s showcase was in a few days, where big scouts and companies would be attending to find the best dancers. this meant everything to both jimin and hoseok and many others on the team. they’d been practicing harder than ever before this past week, starting at 5 in the morning and ending at 10 or 11 pm, sometimes 12. this had taken a large toll on jimin’s body. he’d started mistaking and forgetting steps, running into the other dancers on accident, and definitely not getting the nutrients he needed. he constantly felt a dizziness in the back of his head. it wasn’t okay.
finally, today, hoseok had had enough of jimin’s slip-ups. he had once again forgotten the steps, shortening the eight count to a four count, tripping over his own feet and stumbling into someone else, knocking them down. jimin knew he was in trouble as soon as he looked up and saw hoseok’s fuming face in front of his.
”stand up. stand up!” he yelled unexpectedly. jimin flinched at the sound, quickly standing and helping the other dancer up. “everyone take a break for a few minutes.” he gestured toward the door.
after everyone had left hoseok turned back to the younger boy. “what the hell?” he yelled, hands thrown up in the air. “how many times have you messed up this week? it is ridiculous! you’re messing up the entire group!” he started pacing back and forth.
jimin started to shrink into himself with his head down.
”i swear to god if you hurt anyone or mess up again i’ll kick you off the team! you’re becoming useless! the scouts probably won’t want you anyway, especially if you keep dancing like this.”
jimin could feel the tears gathering in his eyes hearing those words. ”i-i’m sorry. i do-“
”don’t make excuses. i don’t want to hear them,” hoseok snapped. “just get out.”
quickly jimin gathered his bag and ran out of the door as fast as he possibly could and all the way back home. he held back the tears, using them as fuel to keep going.
so he found himself here now, back against the front door, tears streaking his face, sobs leaving his mouth. he’d practiced day and night, even skipping meals and working himself into exhaustion and passing out. hoseok was there to help him, supporting him throughout his many years of experience. he taught jimin almost all of his choreography and moves. but now he’d hurt him more than ever.
jimin knew he had to stand up at some point. it’d felt like an eternity that he’d stood there, heart escaping his throat. he walked to the bathroom and ran himself a cold shower, body feeling like it would overheat any second. he guessed he spaced out completely because he jerked when someone knocked on the bathroom door. jimin snapped out of it and moved the shower curtain aside only to see yoongi in pajama pants.
”jimin? did you hear me?” he asked.
”what? oh, uh, no.” jimin’s voice was shaky. he turned the water off and grabbed his towel, starting to dry himself off.
”are you okay?” yoongi questioned in a low voice, stepping forward and reaching for the towel. jimin’s eyes were rimmed with red, still. add the shaky voice and yoongi concluded he’d been crying.
”i’m f-fine,” the younger stuttered. yoongi began drying jimin off slowly and gently.
”are you sure?”
jimin didn’t answer. he waited until yoongi had finished drying him and pulling some sweatpants onto his legs. yoongi didn’t press. he just picked him up and laid him on the bed before laying down beside him and snuggling the two up.
”i’m not,” jimin croaked out, surprising yoongi. “i’m not okay.” his voice turned shakier and wet with tears again. yoongi was alarmed.
”no, baby don’t cry. please? you’re okay. i’ve got you.” the older hugged him tight to make him feel safe in his arms. and that’s what jimin felt.
”will talking about it help?”
jimin shrugged the best he could in their position. his tears wet yoongi’s chest. if there were fabric covering him it would be soaked.
”do you want to try?” his voice was soft.
a nod.
”okay. let’s start from the beginning. who was it that made you upset?”
”hoseok hyung.”
yoongi frowned with furrowed eyebrows. that’d never really happened before. it must’ve been bad then. “and what did hoseok say or do to upset you?”
”he said i was useless to the team and that the scouts don’t want me.”
if steam could come out of his ears, it would. yoongi marked a stern talking to hoseok on his calendar.
”and why did he say that?”
”he was mad because i messed up at practice again.”
yoongi ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s damp hair to soothe him. “baby, you know he’s wrong, right? first of all, you guys have overworked yourselves this week. i’m sure he wasn’t even thinking. and second of all, he didn’t mean it. he knows you’re one of the best dancers on the team and have already had scouts come to you. you’re an amazing dancer! you know that’s true.”
jimin felt a small smile tug at his lips hearing his boyfriend compliment him with so much meaningfulness.
”you can’t believe what he said, okay? he didn’t mean it and you’re an incredible dancer. that’s all. still with me?”
”mhm,” jimin mumbled back, becoming sleepy from his exhaustion.
”just go to sleep now and we can deal with this tomorrow, yeah?” yoongi reached over to the bedside lamp and turned it off. “i love you, jimin.”
”i love you, yoongi. thank you for making me feel better.”
jimin fell asleep on yoongi’s chest that night, a small, pretty smile on his face from yoongi’s words and comfort. it warmed his heart.
yoongi was falling harder.
.
sipping on potions
remedies
.
it’d been a rough day. yoongi had been working on an especially important song for the past four months to make it absolutely perfect. because it was for jimin. when he finally finished it and brought it to everyone working on the new cypher album, they declined it.
“what? what do you mean it’s not good enough?” yoongi said with a shaky voice, anger beginning to build up inside him.
”yoongi hyung,” namjoon began,”this just isn’t us. we don’t do slow ballads and love songs. we make music that’s hyper and exciting, not something that makes you want to cry.”
”but i spent four months making this for j-jimin.” his hands had started shaking. he didn’t realize until namjoon grabbed them to stabilize him.
”that’s nice and all, but it’s not what we’re looking for. i’m sorry. and maybe it’d be better if you played it for him alone. that’ll make it much more special.” namjoon tried to sympathize but it only made yoongi angrier.
”i need to go.”
yoongi stormed out of the studio, hands gripping tightly around his bag which was holding the hard drive with jimin’s song on it. he had found the inspiration for it from his favorite song “harder”. he wanted to make something slow, kind to the ears, with a heartfelt rap to express his love for his boyfriend. and having it put on the album would show jimin just how hard he had been working.
the boy had finally reached home, relief washing over him as he stepped inside. he hoped jimin would be home but after checking each room, he realized he wasn’t. yoongi decided to wait with a little help from a friend. he opened the fridge and grabbed a few beers before plopping down onto the couch, spending the next hour and a half drinking as much as he could. it helped his muscles relax, the tension escape him, and he wasn’t so angry. they were like remedies.
yoongi had gone through maybe seven or so bottles by the time jimin had gotten home.
”yoongi, i’m home!” he said in a loud voice, hoping the other would already be there.
”’m righ’ here!” yoongi yelled back.
jimin came running into the living room with a bright smile on his face, ready to pounce onto his boyfriend, but stopped abruptly when he saw the empty bottles of beer sitting on the coffee table.
”hyung, please tell me you didn’t drink all of those,” jimin said in a small voice, starting to collect them.
yoongi didn’t answer him. he knew jimin hated it when he drank so much. he might’ve been drunk, but there was still an alert part of his conscience.
after jimin had thrown the bottles out and came back, yoongi apologized.
”’m sorry, min,” his head faced the floor in shame. he felt the couch dip next to him.
”just don’t do it again, please.”
yoongi nodded in agreement. he knew it was wrong and that he made big mistakes when he couldn’t think right.
”did something make you upset?” the younger boy asked, reaching for yoongi’s hand. he took it before speaking.
”yeah, it was- it wasn’t a goo’ day. let’s talk ‘bout this tomorrow when i can actually think righ’.”
jimin agreed and pulled him to bed, changing him into pajamas as best as he could, tucking him in, and making sure he drank plenty of water. he left without a good night, making sure yoongi knew he was disappointed in him.
the next morning, yoongi woke up with a huge headache and dizziness. he also took note of how cold it was, seeing jimin wasn’t in bed next to him. he felt a sickness knot in his stomach and quickly ran to the bathroom.
i deserve this, he thought. so yoongi took care of himself, made himself deal with the consequences of the night before.
as he was walking to the kitchen to get some meds for his headache and dizziness, he noticed jimin sleeping on the couch. so... he was mad, too. the thing that’s funny, though, is that even though jimin was both mad and disappointed in yoongi, he still had tucked his boyfriend into bed and took care of him. he was too nice for his own good. yoongi frowned.
jimin finally woke up a few minutes later, spotting the older boy at the kitchen table staring at the wall. when he saw movement in the corner of his eye, he spoke, ”oh, you’re up.”
”yeah,” was all jimin muttered, getting up and walking toward the table. he sat down and didn’t make eye contact with him.
”i’m sorry.”
”i know you are.”
”do you forgive me?”
”yoongi, that’s the third time this month,” jimin huffed out. “it’s going to be hard to forgive you this time.”
”i understand. this is my fault entirely. i’m not making any excuses. i knew better but i didn’t follow through. again, i’m sorry.”
jimin stayed silent, playing with his hands, still avoiding the other’s eyes.
”can i show you something?” yoongi asked.
”depends on what it is.”
”i think you’ll like it.” he made his way to his bag, grabbing his laptop and hard drive. he sat down next to jimin, causing the other to flinch. a pang of guilt coursed through him at the thought of jimin thinking he might hurt him. his eyes turned down in sadness as he began pulling up the song for jimin to listen.
”i’ve been working on this for four months. it was supposed to be on our next album, but they didn’t want it. that’s why i was drinking yesterday.” he paused before placing headphones onto jimin’s head. “i wrote it for you.”
the song began. it was slow, quiet piano with the sound of rustling leaves and chirping birds. suddenly he heard yoongi’s voice begin talking.
“good morning, sunshine.” jimin could hear yoongi’s big smile.
then his voice began speaking, ”good morning, sweetheart.”
yoongi giggled deeply, mostly a breath. jimin’s heart fluttered at the sound and subconsciously grabbed his boyfriend’s hand. he remembered this morning. it was several months ago, sun beaming into the room and giving yoongi a warm glow. the window he had left open the night before let in sounds of nature as the curtains blew with the wind. and their morning started with those few words spoken between them. jimin closed his eyes, listening to the rest of the song. a song full of memories and love. he could hear with each word the love and pure adoration dripping from yoongi’s voice. the instruments piled on top of each other, bringing a sense of climax with it as the music suddenly cut off. it ended with two lines. the older’s voice sounded rough, raspy, full of tears. his heart clenched.
”i used to be so blue until somehow
i was lucky enough to find you.”
jimin’s eyes filled with tears at hearing how heartfelt those words were. he heard yoongi pull away from the mic and let out a sob from afar. his stomach twisted.
four months. yoongi spent four months on the most beautiful song ever produced in the history of music for jimin. yoongi spent four months writing his feelings, that he always had tons of trouble expressing, down. yoongi spent four months trying to croak out the last two lines without having a complete meltdown.
and it was all rejected.
jimin removed the headphones, taking note of the fact that the song had been temporarily saved as “pjm_sunshine.mp3”. he turned to look at yoongi who had a hopefulness in his eyes he’d never seen before.
”that was incredible.”
”r-really?” yoongi stuttered in shock and nervousness.
”yeah. i kind of want to cry,” he said, voice becoming unstable. yoongi immediately wrapped his arms around him, jimin’s head naturally falling into the crook of his neck.
”please, don’t cry, sunshine.”
a sob escaped his mouth, muffled by the fabric of yoongi’s shirt. guilt filled his heart at putting the younger in this state, a frown pulling at his lips.
”jiminie, please. i didn’t mean to make you cry.”
”it’s okay. it was just,” he slightly pulled back, just enough to see yoongi’s face clearly, “that’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me... did i, did i really help you? out of, you know.”
”yeah, you did.”
jimin’s eyes spilled tears again as he cried into yoongi’s shoulder. he remembered how bad of a place the older was in when he’d met him, but knowing he was the one who saved him from that darkness... was absolutely incredible.
”i forgive you. a million times i forgive you.”
”thank you, so much.”
”i love you, yoongi.”
”i love you, too, sunshine.”
hearing jimin tell him he loved him was a much better remedy than any alcohol.
because yoongi was falling harder.
.
go ahead and pull me down
harder
.
empty. lonely. hopeless.
all the things yoongi was after jimin had left.
his day had started late as always ever since there was no human alarm clock to wake him. a shiver raced down his spine from the cold room and sheets. yoongi never adjusted to the feeling of waking without that radiant warmth tangled in his arms, skin pressed to his.
yoongi slowly managed to creep out of bed with heavy limbs. shuffling to the bathroom, he began getting ready for his completely uneventful day. if any stranger had walked into that bathroom, they’d guess that two people belonged there. two toothbrushes, two kinds of skin products, two body washes, two lotions. two people standing in the mirror. but there was only one. yoongi.
he noticed the worsening bags and circles under his eyes, sunken cheeks, discolored face. it was wrong. he should have a full face, “because a chubby hyung is a cute hyung,” and slightly tanned skin, “because i’m your sunshine, right? i give you your light,” and a rested body, “because you can’t tire yourself out already, grandpa.”
jimin was always there to remind him of important things, to take care of himself. take care of his health and well-being “so that we can grow old together and still be the hottest couple of the century.” yoongi had laughed at that thought.
”if only,” he mumbled around his toothbrush.
yoongi knew he wasn’t eating properly. his body was skinnier than normal and hardly did he make it through a whole meal a day. only did he get fully fed when seokjin came by with a whole feast or jungkook asked to go out (of course if yoongi paid, though.)
this day was no exception. it was already turning evening when yoongi thought that maybe food sounded good, something made well. he got out his ingredients and began cutting them up. normally jimin would be here next to him, preparing the pan or meat after turning on music. yoongi would always be handling the sharp objects when jimin thought it was a good idea to come dance up behind his boyfriend, singing loudly into his ear, causing him to drop the knife.
”jimin!” he’d yell. jimin would just laugh as if yoongi almost losing a whole finger because of him was the funniest thing in the world.
yoongi recalled the memory first with fondness, then sadness crept up his chest. it grabbed onto his throat and squeezed tightly. immediately he put everything down as tears began to cloud his vision. his breaths became shorter and more desperate as the anxiety took over his body. numbness became apparent in his chest, crawling up his throat and face. he couldn’t feel anything.
just loneliness.
tears slipped down yoongi’s face, hands attempting to grip anything near him. his fingertips had already turned numb, though, feeling nothing below his hands. instead they moved to his hair as his body met the floor, tears coming down in streams, hands pulling and tugging. his toes curled to try to find something grounding. he only felt his lungs not pumping the air into his body quick or efficient enough, chest constantly rising and falling in pain.
the only clear thought in his mind was jimin, causing him to reach for his phone and pressing the call button. it rung almost to voicemail until-
“yoongi?”
.
just go ahead and pull me down
harder
.
jimin had just finished dressing himself, peppering a sweet flowery perfume, which was yoongi’s favorite, around his body. him and the old dance team had planned a nice evening out, having not seen each other in a while since they were scouted by different companies.
”hey, hyung. are you ready?” jungkook’s voice came through the receiver.
”yeah, i am.”
”okay, we’ll be there in 15 minutes!” taehyung’s voice unpleasantly yelled into jimin’s ear.
”okay! bye!” he yelled back, laughing afterwards.
jimin decided since he had some time on his hands he’d just sit and relax for a moment. after making sure he had his belongings to take for the night, he reached for his phone in his pocket. lazily he scrolled through his feed on the few apps he had, same old same old. just as he was about to close it, though, a large ringing started.
sweetheart, the screen read. jimin’s eyes widened. what could this be about?
in truth, jimin had been waiting for yoongi to call all this time. it’d been several months since their break up. he wanted yoongi to come after him, prove he still loved and needed him in his life. but there never was one. until now.
jimin was answering before his mind could fully process what he was doing.
”yoongi?” his voice spoke as if he hadn’t prompted it to, surprising himself a bit.
”jiminie! minnie, please,” yoongi pleaded, voice strained with deep breaths between his words. he could hear him sobbing into the phone. jimin’s heart stopped. this wasn’t a call for him to come back.
this was a call for help.
he knew this yoongi. the one that went numb, took incredibly deep and swift breaths, cried until he exhausted himself. this yoongi had anxiety.
yoongi hadn’t had an anxiety attack since maybe a year or so after him and jimin became close friends. he remembered yoongi telling him he was the reason yoongi escaped that overly worrisome, anxious, and depressed darkness. jimin never thought it’d be back.
”yoongi? yoongi, listen to me,” jimin calmly said into the phone as he immediately stood up to leave. “you’re gonna be okay.”
”j-jiminie,” yoongi’s muffled voice cried into his shirt.
”it’s okay. i’m here. i’ll be there soon.” he flung his door open. “don’t hang up, okay?”
”okay.”
”can you do your breathing exercise for me? four in, six out, remember?” jimin softly instructed. he started doing it too as an example.
yoongi’s trembling sobbed once more before attempting to breathe in the pattern he was told. his breaths were unsteady but he continued to try.
”there you go, baby.” the nickname slipped out without thought. jimin ignored it. “keep breathing. that’s it.”
eventually he had caught a cab, covering the speaker as he gave the driver yoongi’s address, adding on a “step on it.” thankfully they didn’t live too far apart.
”good job, sweetheart. now can you think of your happy place? can you tell me what it is?” this had always been an effective technique to calm the older down, whether he was in this state or just mad or tired.
”you. you’re- you’re my happy place,” yoongi cried into the phone. he was getting worked up again.
jimin stumbled over his words at yoongi’s answer. “that’s fine, baby. i’m almost there, okay?” his apartment building had just come into view.
”please hurry.” yoongi sounded tired but still being devoured by that darkness.
jimin jumped out of the car, throwing whatever cash he had back in there, and sprinted into the building.
”i’m coming up the stairs right now. don’t worry,” he said, already becoming out of breath with each step. luckily, he realized he still had the key to once his and yoongi’s apartment, when he reached the door. unlocking it quickly he hung up the phone and stumbled inside.
”yoongi? yoongi, where are you?” his voice echoed through the home as he began walking further into it. soon enough a small voice hiccuped, “ji-min.”
jimin’s head snapped to the direction of the sound coming from the kitchen. his legs swiftly carried him to the room to find a broken boy on the ground. swollen eyes, tear stained cheeks, sunken face, dark bags, tiny shaking frame curled into itself, muffled sobs escaping it, phone thrown to the side. the younger boy’s eyes widened, immediately rushing to yoongi’s side.
kneeling, jimin softly placed his hand on the older’s head, petting sweetly.
“yoongi? i’m here. you’re okay.”
the sobs were cut off at jimin’s words. yoongi lifted his head to see the only person who could help him in that moment.
”jiminie?” his voice sounded crumpled, wrecked.
”yeah, sweetheart. it’s me.” a sad smile accompanied the nickname, bringing memories back. but he knew before he could reminisce there was a whole dire situation to sort out first.
yoongi’s cat eyes searched the other’s face in confusion, as if to reassure himself this wasn’t a dream. finally, after knowing that yes, he’s really there, he pulled him into a bone crushing hug, wanting nothing more than to have jimin in his arms again.
breathing in his scent, warmth colliding into his body, everything that jimin was brought yoongi back to earth. the darkness engulfing him suddenly vanishing into thin air now that his sunshine was here to save the day. but soon enough the tears returned.
”i’m sorry. i’m so sorry, jiminie,” he whispered into jimin’s neck, gripping his shirt in tight fists.
jimin didn’t even have to ask what he was apologizing for. he knew exactly what it was. he was apologizing for their last night together.
the night yoongi had way too much to drink, again, and hurt jimin.
the night jimin had spent in complete shock as his cheek had a constant sting and pressure, an ugly bruise starting to bloom.
the night jimin knew that this problem of yoongi’s was getting out of hand, leaving him with no goodbye.
jimin hated recalling that night but it haunted his dreams ever since then. although yoongi had hurt him, he knew that he was a good person at heart. and sober yoongi would never ever do a single thing to hurt jimin physically or emotionally.
he still blamed himself for the full force punch that landed on his cheek. if only he’d left yoongi to go to bed that night like he had done the few times before. if only he’d not yelled at him and nagged him about it when he couldn’t even hold himself upright. jimin never would have been hurt, they’d still be together, they’d solve yoongi’s problem. but, that’s not how things always work out.
”i know. i’m sorry, too.” the waterworks started up as the night became clear and crisp in his mind, unwanted.
“no, no. you shouldn’t be sorry. it wasn’t your fault. it was all mine. i-i never meant to hurt you, jimin. i don’t want to hurt you ever.” yoongi continued sobbing into jimin’s shirt, letting his regret tumble from his mouth.
”i know. i never wanted to hurt you, either. that’s why i tried to stop you,” jimin breathed out. “just, please, tell me you’re clean now.”
”i am. i have been ever since. i just-“ his voice became muffled and hushed, enough that jimin couldn’t catch the rest of his sentence.
”what did you say?” jimin asked, pulling them back to look at the older.
yoongi didn’t make eye contact. ”come back to me, please. it’ll never happen again. i just,” he looked into the other’s eyes, “need you in my life.”
a tear fell from jimin’s eye as he nodded profusely. “yes. yes, please! i didn’t think you wanted me back.”
”what? of course i did! why would you think that for a second?”
”you never came looking for me. you never called or texted. you didn’t even try asking our friends where i was.”
”i was scared. i was afraid you hated me and wouldn’t come back if i asked.”
”there’s no way i could even come close to hating you. i loved you all this time. i still love you.”
”so did i.” yoongi’s hands traveled to jimin’s cheeks, affectionately rubbing his thumbs over the plump swell. “i still love you, too.”
a watery smile appeared on jimin’s face before leaning in to crash their lips together, that longing after all these months finally becoming satisfied.
”i missed you,” jimin whispered, pulling away just enough that their lips still brushed as he spoke.
”i missed you more, sunshine.”
”now you owe me another song as an apology.”
and just that little sentence made yoongi fall.
harder.