Chapter Text
Hayama stepped into the locker room in Rakuzan and looked around at everyone. Man, the atmosphere was just as oddly stiff as it had been ever since they lost the Winter Cup.
Akashi sat at the head of the locker room, and everyone looked to him as they always did, like he belonged there as their leader. Mibuchi was buffing his nails in the corner, back turned. Nebuya was stuffing his face with granola bars, in his own world.
Although they had (somewhat) gotten over the shock over their first loss, Rakuzan still had nowhere near the buddy-buddy team atmosphere Hayama hoped in his secretest of dreams that they would cultivate.
“Kotarou, you’re late,” Akashi said, his voice not quite yet cold disappointment but just at the delicate balance to achieve it.
Hayama laughed and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Sorry, Akashi! I got distracted by this super cool book about jungle cats! Did you know that cheetahs can make facial expressions? How cool is that! Imagine a cheetah making a grumpy face…” he trailed off giggling. Akashi cut him off.
“We have more important things to discuss. Our training plan for the holidays, in preparation for upcoming tournaments. We still need to train, even as we are sorting out the new players for next year,” Akashi said.
Hayama perked up. “So we’ll be spending time together during the holidays? Cool! Should we make plans for after training? How do you guys feel about bowling? Or we can go to the amusement park?” This time, Mibuchi cut him off.
“It’s already going to be such a pain to groom myself over the training sessions…I can’t imagine hanging out with a bunch of sweaty guys after that,” he pouted primly. “Ah, except Sei-chan of course!” he said, smiling sweetly at Akashi.
Akashi ignored him and turned to Hayama. “Perhaps you should focus more on training instead of post-training plans. We need to get our performance up to par for all future tournaments.”
Hayama wilted. Akashi began lecturing Nebuya on his dietary habits, while Mibuchi agreed vigorously. Hayama sighed, and did not say anything for the rest of the meeting.
***
Feeling down after the meeting, Hayama decided to go to the bookstore. Maybe he could get a manga or something to cheer him up. Or another book on cheetahs!
As he browsed, his eyes fell on a book called ‘Gaining Compunions: Charming your way to Chums!’ He brightened. There was only one person he knew who was the champun of puns.
***
“Hayama! I’m exsided to see you this side of town!” Izuki waved cheerily. Hayama cheered up immediately, dissolving into giggles.
“Thanks for agreeing to meet up, Izuki! I came all the way to Tokyo because I need your help with something,” Hayama said eagerly.
Izuki smiled. “With your fervour for my jokes, I’ll always be willing to do a favour for you!”
Hayama beamed. “That’s awesome, thanks! Well, Rakuzan has been having some really weird team bonding issues. The team spirit is totally off. I look at Seirin, and I want it to be at least something like that. Do you know how to develop that kind of spirit?”
“Hm…” Izuki looked thoughtful. “So Rakuzan is more Rakookzan than Racoolzan, you say?” Hayama giggled as Izuki pundered the issue. Man, coming all the way here would never be a waste of time. He was feeling better already.
Izuki slammed a fist on his palm. “I got it! You came to me because my jokes bring everyone in Seirin together! I’m sure you could younify the team if you learnt how to joke like me!”
He slammed a stack of notebooks on the table. Hayama stared at them reverently. They had handwritten titles like “Don’t Punder to the Masses…be a Punnacle of originality!” and “Be a Puna Fide Pun Master!”
Izuki stared at him solemnly. “This is my Pundora’s box — precious joke books that I have written myself over the years. Now for Lesson One: Respunding to Situations in Jest.”
***
Hayama skipped whistling into the Rakuzan locker room. He was excited to preserve teamplay by removing the jam within their team.
Again, they were all seated together, yet so apart. Akashi was the focal point of attention yet once more.
“Hey guys!” Hayama chirped brightly. “We shouldn’t be camping in the locker room, so why is everyone intense?” Silence met his words.
Hayama gulped as they all stared at him. Damn, he had thought that one was good to start lightening the mood. But he had lightning quick reflexes, and thought of another one immediately.
“Nebuya! Would you like some salt with your chips? It’s Spring, the seasoning for chirps, after all!” he said brightly. Nebuya frowned confusedly at him. Okay, maybe that one had been a little too conpunding to understand.
Akashi sighed. “Kotarou. Have you been spending time with Seirin’s point guard?”
Hayama brightened. “Nice one, Akashi! You’re right, Izuki and I have been spunding time together! I visited him in Tokyo last week.”
Mibuchi bonked his head. “Hayama. What is wrong with you?”
Hayama looked at him eagerly. “Reo-nee! Do you agReo that my jokes are helping to bring the team together?”
“You have misunderstood the role of puns in Seirin completely,” Akashi said flatly. “Seirin probably unifies in irritation at Izuki Shun’s jokes, more so than in laughter and warmth.”
Hayama began to wilt. “But — I thought they were punifying!” This time, Nebuya got him in a headlock.
“Enough already! They’re driving me crazy!” Nebuya yelled. Hayama choked from the headlock, “Would you say my jokes drive you crazier than my basketball drives?”
“Let him go, Eikichi,” Akashi said calmly. He looked at Hayama. “Kotarou, we understand now. We can hang out more as a team if that will get you to stop making these jokes.”
Mibuchi nodded vigorously in relief. “Yes, I don’t mind hanging out if you will just stop right now.”
Hayama brightened. “So my puns have stupundously brought us all together!”
They all advanced at once to him, threateningly. Hayama quickly put his hands out. “I’ll stop! I’ll stop!”
Hayama was releafed to find that day’s team meeting going a lot less woodenly than it did before. Rakuzan might never have the buddy-like feeling Seirin had, but with their extensive buddyget, they could begin with tons of team activities. It wasn’t much, but it was a start to more team bonding.
For one thing, while Mibuchi had snapped at Nebuya as usual for being food-obsessed, he had also asked him to recommend a healthy chicken place for lunch. Hayama had happily suggested he wing it.
And then Akashi had placed a hand on Hayama’s shoulder and asked if he would help him plan for the team post-training activities. Ecstatic, Hayama had asked if karaoke was karaokay. Despite the blank stare Akashi had given him in response, Hayama swore his lips had curved ever so slightly upwards as they occasionally did, although this was a particularly rare Akashion.
Hayama made sure to text Izuki later, telling him what a Seiring grace his jokes had been for Rakuzan’s team bonding.
“Your jokes were definitely the punacea for our team’s problems!” he had said excitedly.
Izuki had been delighted. “I did not expect it, but I guess reviving team chemistry through jokes is definitely my element.”