Chapter Text
Rick knows they’ve all come together as a group and have become something of a unit. It’s a mish mash of survivors and people that would usually never cross paths in their everyday life, but the outbreak had brought them together and through it all they made it work. Atlanta had driven them to living on the road, space was not a luxury any of them had and he knew it was tough being constantly surrounded by people without a minute’s peace. He knew they’d all had fights but they’d made up as well, helping each other out, some of them learning skills they had never needed before and trying their hardest because it was what needed to be done. The hardships of it all and the common ground of being in an unknown situation joined them all together in a way that never would have happened before. They’ve been through the terror at the CDC, the loss of loved ones and the awful realisation that they had to stab things that were once human in the head to survive.
And yet he thinks that this is the very moment that defines them as a family. The one where Daryl has a goddamned seizure in the middle of dinner around the campfire.
It’s so sudden that he barely has time to understand what’s happening before he’s on his feet, unsure whether to scan for danger or go over to the other man. Either way his body has already acted on instinct and he’s standing, brain working double time to work out what had happened to one of the more relaxing evenings that they’d had lately.
They’d been sitting around the fire, eating the rabbit and tinned vegetables between them, some laughing about old memories whilst other sat and smiled politely. The fire was low enough not to bring attention to them and blocked by a circle of their cars and the RV, but still T-Dog sat on the roof keeping an eye out for them all. Their camp was a quick hitch at the edge of the woods; using the natural cover to stay out of sight as they got some much needed rest. Everything had been reasonably normal considering the circumstances, Carl was even laughing as he and Sophia listened to Glenn recount a pizza delivery gone wrong. He’d been looking forward to a quiet night before more travelling tomorrow when it had happened.
Daryl had been quiet all evening, but that was just how the man was sometimes, keeping himself to himself and only joining in the chatting when necessary. He’d been sitting, watching the fire for a while, still as anything except for his leg bouncing up and down on the spot in a way that Rick had thought to just be nervous energy rushing free. Part way through kissing Lori gently, enjoying the safety of her presence and the feel of everything being normal for a while, he’d heard it, the sound of a man falling to the ground and panicked gasps around him.
Shane was on his feet as well in a second, and in a look shared between them they move as one, both approaching Daryl and hissing at everyone else to keep the noise down. Daryl had slid to the floor in a heap; face down in the dirt and shaking in a way that was disturbing to watch. Behind him Rick can hear Lori tell Carl and Sophia not to watch and he’s grateful because the sight was upsetting even to the adults.
“Everything okay?” T-dog calls down from the RV, eyes wide in panic and gun grasped tightly in his hands, ready for anything but terrified all the same.
Rick nods, trying to get a grip on a situation that he wasn’t prepared for, glancing over to camp to double check on every one else as Shane knelt by the other man. “Yeah just stay on lookout.” Pointing to the eldest of their group he wants to make sure they’re still protected if he and Shane are occupied. “Dale go join him, just in case we’ve drawn any attention to ourselves we could use an extra pair of eyes.”
Turning back to the scene on the floor he kneels besides Shane and Daryl, wanting to help but completely lost as the man continues shaking violently before them. It’s disturbing to see, his eyes are rolled back in his head, body jerking suddenly and sharply, yet with a silence that somehow makes it worse. His and Shane’s training has them prepared for a lot of things, but reading about things in a book and actually doing them were two different things and he didn’t want to hurt Daryl or cause any more problems than there already were.
Shane makes the first move, shifting closer and placing his hand beneath Daryl’s head, not holding him there but just cushioning his skull from impacting the ground with every jerk. “I think he’s having some kind of fit.” His partner’s voice doesn’t betray his emotions and though Rick knows Shane is probably as panicked as he is, he doesn’t show it.
Nodding in understanding Rick finds himself fidgeting, unsure how to help but knowing he wanted to. At least as much as he could right now. “What do we do?”
“Remember my cousin Bobby? He used to have ‘em.” Shane explains and Rick can remember hanging around with Shane’s family at barbeques, playing catch with his cousins and he puts the name to a face in his memories. It’s not much, but it’s something Shane had at least some kind of understanding of, so that was a step forward. “Was always told to get an adult.”
He’s not sure if Shane is trying to make a joke to lighten the situation but it’s not working and if his partner wasn’t still cradling Daryl’s head from hitting against the ground, he’d punch him right now. “We are the adults Shane. Do we move him or something? Put something in his mouth to stop him biting his tongue?”
Again when he speaks Shane is calm, glancing over to Rick and settling his free hand to his friend’s knee, giving him a tight smile that just spoke volumes between them. “No we gotta wait for the fit to stop first, just gotta make sure he don’t hurt himself too bad, clear the space around him so he doesn’t hit anything.” He indicates to the area around them and Rick moves to shove the crossbow and what small rocks there are aside to give them more space. “Don’t wanna put anything in his mouth, biting his tongue is better than choking on something.”
Rick has to agree with that and not for the first time he’s so grateful to have Shane here with him through all of this. Daryl looks so pale, and though it panics Rick to see his lips are slightly blue, Shane is watching him close enough that he’d say if it was a problem they needed to deal with.
“Is he okay? What’s happening?”
He’d almost forgotten about the rest of the group he was so focussed on keeping Daryl safe and doing what he needed to, but looking over the camp now he can see where Carl and Sophia were huddled against their mothers, scared for a member of their group as Lori and Carol tried to calm them down. Leaving Shane to watch the still fitting other man he takes control of the rest of the situation, doing what needs to be done.
“We think it’s a fit, either of you dealt with this before?” Looking up from where Daryl was still jerking, limbs heaving in different direction whilst his head rocked in Shane’s palm, his eyes rolled back and skin looking pale. Wiping at his mouth he tries to get a grip of himself, this was no time to panic. “All right then, Andrea take the kids inside the RV, they don’t need to see this right now, try and reassure them that Daryl’s fine. Glenn, get us some things, a blanket, maybe a pillow and some water or something? I dunno if he’ll need any medication when he wakes up, just bring whatever you’d get someone who was sick.”
Settling back down besides Shane and Daryl he can hear Andrea ushering Lori and Carol inside with the children, and through her own grief over her sister, Rick can tell she’s trying to be upbeat, promising them that Daryl’s just tired and fell over because of it. He knows they don’t buy it, but it’ll do for now. “And now?”
Shane is still there, cradling Daryl’s head whilst his other hand was held gently to his chest, feeling Daryl’s breathing continue to hitch with every jerk. “We wait for it to stop, shouldn’t be more than a few minutes but if he has more than one too close together or this one goes on a long while things could get pretty bad pretty fast.”
“Like what?”
“Don’t matter yet, let’s just wait it out with him.” And Shane looks at him with such intensity that Rick knows he doesn’t want to know what would happen if the fits continued. Either way he had a feeling they wouldn’t be able to cope with it.
Nodding Rick tries to stop his heartbeat from being quite as frantic as it was, now was not the time for him to lose control, not when Daryl was clearly unable to look after himself right now. Glenn returns with a pile of mismatched items, a blanket and cushion from the RV, as well as their haphazard first aid kit and the saddlebags off of Daryl’s bike.
“Thought he might have had them before and might have something for it in his stuff.” The young man shrugs, bouncing on tiptoes and clearly eager to help despite feeling on edge about the whole thing. Rick tries to give him a reassuring smile, one that had more confidence than himself right now and patted at his leg from where he knelt.
“Hey, it’ll be fine. “ He keeps his voice calm, used to dealing with people in this sort of situation and knowing that showing his own insecurities wouldn’t help anyone. “Best thing you could do right now is grab one of the maps and see if you can find a pharmacy in the area, we might need to go on a run tomorrow if Daryl needs anything. Then get some rest all right?”
“Yeah, yeah I got it. You or Daryl need anything though, come get me all right?”
“Got it.” Rick agrees watching as Glenn does as he’s asked, glancing back over his shoulder a couple of times before climbing into the RV and closing the door firmly behind himself. Letting out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding Rick faces their current situation and looks to Shane for direction. “Shane is he going to be okay?”
“Should be after it stops.” His partner doesn’t give false smiles to him, he doesn’t try to pass this situation off as anything more than what it was. Scary and something they weren’t sure they could fix. Rick is glad that Shane doesn’t sugar coat things for him but they two of them share a look of utter relief when Daryl’s jerking subsides and the other man is simply lying on the floor unconscious. “Here he’s calming down now, help me get him on his side, recovery position should be pretty safe for him about now.”
Rick helps as best he can, being gentle as he moves Daryl’s limbs into position before rolling him, trying to ignore the small tremors that roll across Daryl’s muscles every so often. He’s never seen someone fit before but he was glad that it was over, making Daryl’s quiet form look more normal now he wasn’t seizing. The smaller quakes soon die down too, leaving Daryl on the floor in front of them and looking as if he were doing no more than sleeping on the grass below.
Shane nudges him none to gently in the ribs and Rick hands over the cushion he indicates towards, letting Shane slip his hand free and settle Daryl onto the soft pillow instead. Taking the blanket up he goes to drape it across Daryl, pausing when he takes note of something he hadn’t noticed before due to his focus being on the seizing. “Um Shane?” He doesn’t want to embarrass Daryl, but Shane was the sort of expert at the moment. “He wet his pants…”
“Yeah, that happens sometimes.” Shane keeps his voice low, not wanting to draw the attention of those on watch, and Rick is surprised how different this man is now compared to the kid he’d been friends with in school. The kind of guy that would splash water on the front of someone’s pants to accuse them of having an accident and make a mockery of them for fun. Now here he was tugging a blanket over their unconscious partner with a shrug.
Moving to sit cross legged instead of kneeling, Rick settles himself as Shane does, watching as his partner runs his fingers through his curly hair in that way he knows means he’s stressed. “All right, what’s the plan now?” He asks, knowing that sometimes it helped to speak things through and share the burden of knowledge with someone else.
“We wait. He’ll wake up on his own but don’t be surprised if he’s a little different from normal.”
“Different how?”
“My aunt used to say that Bobby’s brain used to lose control of his body and everything just kind of short circuited for a while, I was there once after it was over and he was waking up.” Shane shrugs, looking off at the night sky and Rick knows it’s hard to remember family when this was all they had anymore. Shifting a little closer he tucks the edges of the blanket around Daryl and nudges for him to continues, not wanting his best friend to get lost in painful memories. “He was out of it for quite a while the poor kid. Of course I teased him for it at the time, but I think its coz I was scared how different he was from normal.”
Rick nods, patient in waiting for some answers but glad that this was taking his mind off watching Daryl like a hawk. He’s so still in comparison to before, lying on the grass as if nothing had happened and he and Shane had shared some kind of crazy dream.
“He was confused, real confused, like he didn’t know what just happened to him.” Shane continues, picking at the grass and tearing it to shreds before grabbing another handful. “And he didn’t remember any of it, which upset him of course, plus he had headaches for a few hours afterwards and he was just…off you know? Like when he spoke he didn’t sound like Bobby, and he’d sort of be a bit weird for a while afterwards.” Watching Shane shake his head, Rick knows he wishes he could explain it more but didn’t have the words to do so. “Usually my aunt would take him home after he’d had a fit, let him sleep it off as if it were some kind of hangover.”
He can understand that feeling though and he latches on to an analogy he can relate to. “Suppose it kind of is. I mean if your brain is short circuiting and making your body do that, well I’d be tired too.” Rick admits, gesturing to where Daryl still sleeps, not even twitching.
Shane gives a small chuckle, one that lets Rick know that he’s at least helped with some of the tension he’s feeling. “Yeah we just gotta play nice when he wakes up. Hope he’s had this before and knows what to do.”
“You think he has?” Rick asks. “Had it before I mean.”
Shane nods, confident as always and watching Daryl’s breathing. “Yeah. It’s rare for an adult to just have a fit out of the blue and weren’t like nothing traumatising happened to us today.” The other man snorts before continuing, and Rick has to agree with what he says. “Well no more traumatic than it usually is nowadays. Bet he has had ‘em before and just didn’t tell us.”
“Wish he had, least then we could have been prepared for this.” Though he has to admit it hadn’t exactly been on their list of questions to ask when getting to know each other. He figured that if anyone had anything they needed medical assistance for they would have said something. Really he should have known the Dixon would have been far too stubborn to admit to having any kind of weakness.
“Just be glad it happened now and not whilst he was on that bike or out hunting. We’d be a man down if it had.” Shane says and Rick has to agree that in a way they were fortunate that it had happened now, when they were safe and able to deal with it as a team.
A groan from the floor beside them had them both shifting forward, Shane’s arm keeping Rick from getting too close and Rick figures they don’t want to crowd Daryl too much. The smaller man shifts a little, a shaky hand reaching up to rub at his eyes before he blinks sleepily up at them, looking for all the world like a lost kid. He’s never seen Daryl Dixon look so vulnerable and it makes him want to soothe the confusion he sees in the other man’s eyes when he looks at them both.
“Hey Daryl.” He keeps his voice soft, heeding Shane’s warning and sitting far enough away that he’s not crowding but he can get to Daryl’s side if he needed him. “It’s okay, you’re okay.”
In a second Daryl is scrabbling upwards, shoving against the dirt and trying to get up and away until Shane is there holding him, keeping him down and hushing him as best he can. “Easy, easy now man.” Rick can see that it’s far easier for Shane to restrain Daryl than normal, simply placing a hand on his shoulder and one on his chest to press him back down to the pillow beneath him. “You’re all right okay?”
Daryl looks so lost right now, held in place by Shane with his eyes flitting back and forth worriedly as he tries to get a grasp of what’s going on. Rick can see his lips moving but no words coming out, and he can almost feel the panic and confusion the other man is emitting. “It’s all right Daryl. It’s Rick and Shane, it’s just us okay? Everyone else is asleep and it’s just you and us here. You had a seizure, but you’re okay now.”
It doesn’t seem to calm Daryl down much and it’s almost as if Rick can see his brain try to process the information piece by piece. “Wher-m how’d it?” Daryl huffs, squirming on the floor and raising his hands to his head, massaging at his temples and grimacing in pain and frustration.
Shane pats at Daryl’s chest gently, though Rick knows he’s making sure the other man is still breathing calmly and safely too. “It’s okay man. Nothing to worry about all right?” Daryl still isn’t calm, but he doesn’t move away from the touch and doesn’t squirm to get free either so he takes it as a good sign. “You just had a seizure after dinner that’s all. You had them before?”
Daryl nods, face still covered by his hands and not meeting either of them in the eye. Rick knows he’s probably embarrassed by the whole thing and expecting some kind of reprimand for not telling them about it, but now was not the time to bring that up. Again Daryl goes to speak, but when he does his words are mumbled and slurred, quiet in the darkness of the night. “Hur’s ‘n t’rd.”
Though it takes Rick a few moment to work out what the other man is attempting to say, Shane nods almost immediately, voice just as even as before and not mocking in anyway despite Daryl’s obvious discomfort. “I know man, you just gotta take your time is all. Give it a few minutes and it’ll get better.”
They sit for a while in silence, Daryl still hidden beneath his arm and Shane still watching his chest and his breathing. Rick feels like the odd man out, wondering if he should leave them to it since Shane seems to know exactly what he’s doing. But he doesn’t want Daryl to think he’s disgusted with him or anything or to think that he was only here until he was conscious before deciding he was fine. He knew sometimes the worst part of recovery was after the initial impact had taken place.
When Daryl clears his throat he’s quick to offer assistance, wanting to do what he could despite being unsure of how exactly he would be helping. “Need some water or anything? You got any medication to take for this sort of thing?’
Daryl shakes his head and sits up, shaky fingers holding onto the blanket tightly and keeping it at his waist as he props himself up. Shane’s hands are still there, hovering, ready to catch him if he fell or just steady him if his still recovering body couldn’t take it right now. Rick pretends he doesn’t see the red scattered across Daryl’s cheeks or notice how the other man won’t meet either of their eyes when he finally speaks quietly. “N-need some clean pants.”
Passing over the saddle bag Rick gives Daryl a few moments to search for what he wants but can’t help but feel for the man when his shaking fingers don’t allow him to get very far. Moving closer Rick pretends not to see the flinch from Daryl as he takes the bag and hunts through it himself, fishing out a clean pair of underwear and pants before setting them at Daryl’s side. “If you need a hand…”
Rick stops himself mid sentence when Daryl shakes his head fiercely, clearing not helping his headache but desperate to at least retain some dignity despite the situation. Understanding completely Rick stands to move aside, Shane following to give the man at least the sense of privacy despite them both listening for the sound of any problems. After a few minutes Rick hears the sound of Daryl clearing his voice and after checking to see he was decent he figures that was Daryl’s way of allowing them back over to him.
He’s moved away from where the incident had happened, and was instead sitting next to the fire with the blanket wrapped about his shoulders, hunkered down and watching the flames instead of looking at either of them. They move to sit either side of him, but with enough space to not seem to be crowding the man after an event that he clearly saw as shameful.
“Head feeling a bit clearer?” Shane asks, tossing a few twigs into the slowly dying fire but watching as Daryl nods quietly in response. “That’s good. Real good.” Daryl doesn’t reply, just watches the flames and lets them all pretend he’s flushed red from the heat and nothing else. “Know you gotta be tired, but just in case of anything else happening the two of us’ll stay in the tent with you tonight.”
Rick watches as a shiver runs through Daryl’s body, a quick jerk all over before he settles back to watch the fire. It takes a few moments for Daryl to compose himself, but when he does he almost sounds like the old Daryl again. “Don’t need no babysitters.”
“We know that.” He reassures, not wanting to cause any more distress than they have to when Daryl’s clearly been through enough tonight. “We just wanna make sure you’re all right. You scared the shit out of us Daryl, least let us stay for our own peace of mind.”
It works and when he makes it out to be entirely for them and not for him instead, Daryl nods jerkily, relenting to let the three of them shuffle in to the one tent they’d set up originally for the Grimes family to share. Rick barely has himself comfortable in the middle of the sleeping area and yet beside him Daryl is cocooned in the blanket, turned away from the two of them and facing the side of the tent. He can’t say he knows what the other man is feeling right now, but he can take a wild stab in the dark and come up with a damned good guess. On his other side he knows that Shane won’t be sleeping much tonight, too riled up with worry just as he is, but Daryl didn’t have to know that.
“You’ll feel better after some sleep Daryl.” Shane says, his words stumbling over Rick in the middle to attempt to penetrate Daryl’s self made nest on the other side of the tent. “The rest’ll do you good man.”
Daryl doesn’t reply, just curls up a little tighter and stays turned away. Rick figures he’s not in the mood for kind words of reassurance from a couple of cops who’d seen him at his most vulnerable. He can understand that and closes his eyes to let Daryl be, figuring they all deserve a rest after the stress of the night.