Work Text:
Body language.
The way a person’s body betrays their inner feelings.
When emotional hurt showed through, even though it was desperately suppressed.
It was clear in the frowning eyebrows scowling over dark eyes, a wide mouth compressed into a thin pale line. So obvious, when he stood, arms crossed over the broad chest, maybe one hand fluttering protectively over his heart. Illustrated by the slow lope of a weary man, the weight of responsibility resting heavily across his broad shoulders.
Nick had seen it all, knew it like no one else, how Zak held the pieces of himself together, even when he had black moods and the urgent need to hurt something was turned inwards upon himself. He saw how the older man came across in front of the cameras, trying to convince himself, even more than the others, how good he felt. But in private it was a different story.
Their relationship was at an impasse; Nick had left his wife, but wouldn’t move in with Zak until he felt they had some stability in their life. He was a mess, and Nick couldn’t risk introducing his daughters into the powder keg of Zak’s demons.
So Nick carried on, being the reliable boyfriend, loving Zak through the angst he felt, even though he could scarcely understand it himself, he knew how much it tore Zak apart.
Yes, Nick knew.
How in the dark of a moonless night, tired from the lockdown, sleepless in the closeness of a shared bed, he’d heard the pad of footsteps creeping to the bathroom. He’d waited, holding a painful breath, for the splash and flush which didn’t happen.
Flying from the bed, his bare feet slipping, Nick dragged open the door, the blink of the light showing him what he feared; Zak’s dark head, bowed over, hissing at the pain of the bright blade leaving a dark bloody line over the tender skin of his thigh.
=================
“Zak…...please...talk to me…….I know you….you bottle it up….keep it inside until it tears you apart…...talk to me man…...I only want to help….I care….you know I do…..please Zak….please…….”
Nick waits, the dark around the window blinds eventually showing a pale strip of early morning light. Zak was clinging, still pressed up to his arm, head buried in the crook of the younger man’s neck, where the hot tears spilled in the night had dried. Gently he shifted his arm, pins and needles giving him a sharp reminder of the pain Zak had caused himself. He knew it had happened before, when Zak was a teenager, when he was struggling to find his way. Then recently when one of the crew was injured, and Zak took on all the responsibility, Nick knew where this situation led, he’d seen the pale scars over his thighs, he knew why Zak never wore shorts.
“Jesus Christ……” his voice was hardly a whisper, as he vocalised the pain of his thoughts, but Zak stirred.
Nick craned his neck, pulling back to see the sad face peering back up to him, too dark to make out the expression. But Nick already knew it would break his heart.
“Nick…..wassup…” a sleep slurred greeting.
“You know man…..we need to figure it out…..I can’t...I can’t…” his gravelly whisper almost broke, “I gotta find a way to fix this….to fix you……”
============================
The research proved surprisingly easy, but the conclusion Nick came to had his heart thumping and his palms turn sweaty. How he would tell Zak about it was scaring him almost as much as what he had to do himself. It had to be him - Zak wouldn’t trust anyone else, both to keep quiet, and to take care of him. Even Aaron. Nick knew, it had to be him….for the love of Zak, it had to be that way.
A visit to an out of town mall had all the things he thought they would need, which were hurriedly stuffed inside an unassuming sports bag, neat and secret. Nick climbed back into his truck, pushing the bag under the passenger seat like it was filled with wasps.
Now all he had to do was explain it to Zak. He gnawed at the corner of his moustache as he drove, not knowing how to put it in words, if indeed, what he had stumbled upon during a weary trawl of the internet, was the right thing. He was more scared of the way Zak might react to his suggestion, than actually carrying it out.
He slowed as the gates to Zak’s house loomed up, taking a deep breath in an effort to calm his racing heart. If this went wrong, and it could do, then Zak might never forgive him.
“I’m in the gym bro…..” Zak’s flat mid-western twang sounded a little tinny through the speaker. He used the gym, where he hefted weights obsessively, almost to the point of frenzy, waiting for the endorphins to kick in, to take the pain, and turn it, however briefly, to oblivion.
Driving through the gate, Nick pulled up behind the house, where he could see Gracie laying in the entry, her tail wagging as she spied him.
“Hiya Gray…” he bent, ruffling her silky head as he passed, leaving the large bag safely in the car. His eyes flicked across the space to where Zak, already sweating, was doing pull ups. In the fluorescent lighting, Zak’s face was pale, dark shadows under his eyes making him look tired.
“How’re you doing man…..?” He left the question hanging, as Zak concentrated on the last few reps of the set.
“‘I’m OK...same old crap I guess….” he got to his feet and took two steps towards Nick, holding his arm out to grasp the younger man’s shoulder, careful not to sweat on him. “What’re you doing here….I thought you were at your sisters…?”
“You know I can’t leave you alone when you’re like this…..the other night, you would have made a real mess of yourself if I hadn’t stopped you…”
Zak hung his head, taking off his hat and running a careless hand through the dark hair.
“I know…..I know….but I just get so fucking...so….I can’t explain it...it’s like there is something in me going to explode if I don’t make it bleed...feel the hurt….that’s the only thing that stops the other pain…..” His deep blue eyes had turned away from Nick’s intense brown stare, as the shame of what he did made him look away.
Nick almost bottled out, clearing his throat he tired to speak.
“Err….Zak….I have an idea……”
Zak turned to him, the smokey blues almost slate under the harsh light.
“What?”
Nick’s hand rubbed nervously over the back of his crew cut.
“Zak….mmm….let’s sit down a minute bro...it’s a bit delicate, and I don’t want to make it sound bad or nothing……” Zak’s head tilted to one side, his eyes curious as he stared at the younger man, who had dropped lightly onto the squashy leather sofa pushed up to the wall.
Zak perched on the arm opposite Nick, his feet on the cushion, waiting for Nick to speak. Nick wasn’t his usual perky self, something which made Zak feel uncomfortable, he relied on the wide smile and warm brown eyes to help him when things got tough. Nick was leaning down, his hands twined together in a slightly awkward position.
“So man...what’s this idea? Send me off for a month to the funny farm??”
Although Zak was joking, there was a note of anxiety in his voice.
As if he’d come to a decision, Nick sat back in the seat, turning to look directly into the smoky blues he knew so well. With a deep breath he started to try to explain.
“I’ve been looking on the internet….about the stuff you’ve been going through...and I made a connection….” he stopped, noting Zak’s hard stare.
“Go on”
“Well, it seems that when some people feel they need to let off steam….stop feeling like they have to control everything….they have to find an outlet for it…..”
“You saying I’m a control freak…?” The deep voice didn’t seem to be joking now.
“No..No….well..not all the time….but sometimes it seems that what with the programme...the museum...all the other stuff you do….well...it all gets a bit much….”
Silence for a few seconds, Nick tense, waiting for the reaction he knew was bound to come.
“So what….what is this connection...what are you saying?”
Nick swallowed hard, his adam’s apple bobbing.
“Well…..some people like to let go of control...once in a while...allow someone else to take over….just to take time out to experiment in finding ways to get the result you get from cutting yourself, but you wouldn’t be the one doing it……”
“Nick...I don’t know what in the fuck you’ve been watching….but I really am not liking where this is going….”
Zak had a stern look on his face, his fingers curled tightly over his knee caps as he tried to keep his patience.
“Zak...it’s not a bad thing….until you try it you don’t know how it’ll make you feel……”
“What…..try what exactly, what the fuck are you talking about?” His voice raised, Zak’s patience had worn through as he jumped off the settee to stand looming over Nick.
Standing, Nick’s brown eyes stared into Zak’s angry face, knowing that it was now or never.
“I think you should see a Dom”
Zak took a step back, his eyes wide. A beat of perfect silence, as Nick saw the total incredulity in Zak’s expression. Then the older man raised his arm, pointing to the door.
“Get the fuck out of here……..GO!”
Nick turned, holding up his hands pleadingly, his eyes giving Zak the puppy dog stare.
“Why don’t we just discuss this Zak...please….just talk before…….”
He bolted as Zak’s eyes flashed blue murder in his direction.
================================================
Zak paced the floor in his garage, all thoughts of weights and the gym forgotten. Swiping the towel from around his neck, he whistled the dog to his side, locking the door and heading inside to his office. His heart was pounding, both at the preposterous suggestion Nick had made, and worse, how close he had come to punching him in the face.
Eventually he calmed down a little, his brain recovering from the shock. It couldn’t hurt to look, he thought, smiling wryly at the pun.
Fifteen minutes later, he’s broken out in a sweat, as he read the many ways that a submissive and a dominant could pass the time together. His knee jiggled nervously as he surfed over the more bizarre of the websites, eliciting almost the same sort of guilty pleasure as watching porn. Was Nick out of his mind? Had he really suggested that Zak needed someone to basically beat the crap out of him, until the pain so produced got him high on endorphins?
How could Zak even contemplate this sort of behaviour? What if he was recognised….or worse….what if someone made it public? And even worse...what if he was a total wimp….he could cut his own skin with a razor blade, but could he really let a complete stranger do such intimate things to him?
He closed the tabs, pushing away the laptop with a weary sigh. He tried to forget about it, dallying in the shower until his fingers went pruney. He made lunch for himself, but found he had no appetite. A few calls to some of his buddies revealed that he had left it too late in the day to make arrangements, so as a final resort he fastened Gracie securely in the back of his car, and they went for a drive.
He walked along the beach until his feet ached, then headed for home, still the freakishness of Nick’s idea revolving in his mind like a scary fairground ride, the sort you wanted until it started, then all you wanted was for it to stop. He thought he should ring Nick, he was only acting out of care, Zak recognised that, but, at the same time, it felt so personal to have Nick making this kind of suggestion. And yet, somewhere in the corner of Zak’s ever inventive mind, a spark of curiosity had taken hold.
Back home he fed Gracie and grabbed a bowl of soup for himself, taking it back to sit at the laptop while he continued his research. The soup cooled at his elbow, as he read over as much information as he could find, till eventually he pushed the screen back, and took off his glasses, pressing his palms over his eyes, and exhaling loudly. Things were starting to make a bit more sense after finding some of the more educational websites, there seemed to be some sort of a link between the desire to cut himself, and the effect of pain elicited by other means.
What had him frowning, as he emptied his soup down the waste disposal, was the connection between the punishment and the sexual arousal. He would really rather die than have a stranger find out that he got off on pain. That was indeed if he did get off on pain. Or if he liked getting off on pain. He made tea, and cut a large wedge of fruitcake for himself, wanting more than ever to call Nick.
======================
The small flat was fine for one person, but when his daughters visited, the combination of their clothes, shoes and toys for the weekend made Nick feel like the walls were closing in on him. He stirred the sauce, careless of the bubbles splattering over the surface of his cooker, as the microwave pinged.
“Dinners ready” he called, juggling the pan and the hot bowl of pasta, trying to get the food down before the two high spirited little girls rushed to the table. Eventually, the food was served, and all three were munching contentedly. Nick ate quickly, conscious of the need to serve as both parents while his kids were here. His wife had been generous, under the circumstances, allowing frequent visits and trips out, and up to now, they all seemed to be handling it well.
Immediately his thoughts went back to Zak, alone in that massive house which, despite his dog, must be lonely. As if the man had read his mind, the phone beeped in his pocket.
“Hi Zak….are you ok?”
“Yeah….sorry I freaked out…..I know you’re only trying to help……” There was a short pause, and Nick could hear the sound of TV in the background. He knew Zak got bored easily, and took a deep breath as he waited to hear what he knew would come next.
“What’re you doing? Wanna hang out? I got a new game…..”
Nick’s heart sank.
“My girls are over this weekend….we’re just having dinner…...how about I give you a call later on?”
He tried not to hear the small sigh, and could recognise the disappointment in the deep voice.
“OK..I’d like that...perhaps we need to talk…..later dude….”
The call disconnected.
All the dishes were finally in the dishwasher, and the last of the tomato sauce stains removed from the cooker. Bedtime stories had been read, and Nick, tired now, was ready to sit with a cold drink and an hour of mindless TV.
He sat, his phone ready, a slight frown on his face as he wondered for the hundredth time, what Zak was going to say. The ringtone had barely started, when Zak picked up.
“Hi..wassup….kids asleep?”
“Yeah….been down half an hour, so hopefully we can talk……” Nick mentally crossed his fingers, hoping Zak wouldn’t suggest driving over. It had been a long day, and maybe it wasn’t a good thing to discuss what he knew was coming while his daughters slept in the next room.
“Ok….although I don’t know where to start….” the deep voice plowed straight in. ”I’ve been looking on the web about that thing you suggested…..and I can see why you suggested it..” Nick kicked off his shoes and laid flat on the cushions. “But it wouldn’t work…..for a kick off….if you thought about it….how could I possibly keep my identity secret….I couldn’t risk it getting out….it only needs for one person to see me….or take a picture...and bam...it’s all over the fuckin’ internet……’Zak Bagans is a kinky bastard’…. but more than that…..the thought of putting myself in such a humiliating position...in front of a stranger….well, that’s just gross...it fucking freaks me out even to think of it……”
Zak’s voice was becoming strained, the cue for Nick to step in.
“Yeah...I understand man….no one would want that sort of publicity...Jesus...you’d be more stressed out if you were worrying all the time that someone might see you….yeah..not good man…..”
Somewhat comforted, Zak continued.
“And then….the worst part….what if I can’t cope…? I dunno...I might just crumple up and cry like a baby…”
Nick’s eyes had a trace of humour, as he reined in his reaction.
“From what I’ve read….crying like a baby is good bro….let’s out all the stress….” He kept his voice serious.
“You know what I mean….hurting myself is different...I can control how much I do...but if there is someone else dishing it out….what if they go too far…? I could get seriously injured….”
“Zak...Calm down...there are all sorts of safety stuff put in place...whatever is happening..you can stop it at any time...that’s part of the arrangement...it’s not to hurt you as such...it’s to get you into a different head space...it just so happens that pain can do that…..”
“Yeah, I know that, doh….and what if it doesn’t…?”
“You don’t have to do it again…..” Nick interrupted, before Zak could really get into full flow. The phone went quiet for a moment, before Nick heard the sound of Zak taking a breath.
“You didn’t say if it would be a man or a woman….I read that it can be either...Jesus...a woman dominatrice...that would freak me out all together….I’d never be able to look a woman in the eye ever again….Fuck...it’s difficult enough now already….”
Nick smiled silently, chewing his lips in an effort not to make a sound.
“But if it was a guy...Seriously dude, I’d want to punch him...I’d never be able to let someone hurt me without lashing out….”
“But if we could overcome all those objections….take away the obstacles….would you give it a try?” Nick’s voice was soft and almost seductive.
“I dunno…..I don’t think there is any way that this would work….an unknown man or woman….I can’t imagine……” his voice trailed away, leaving Nick with the distinct impression that Zak might have been disappointed.
“What if it was neither, bro….I mean...not a stranger….?” his voice was silky smooth, unconsciously the tone brought out for telephone sex.
“How the fuck could that happen?”
“What if it were me?”
There was a split second before Nick was startled by the sound of Zak choking on the other end of the phone.
“Zak! Zak are you ok?”
“No..I’m not ok...What do you think man? Seriously? I can’t believe you said that...you must have some dark issues that you want to take out on me….Well I don’t fucking think so...Fuck you!!!!”
The phone went dead in his hand.
Nick sprawled out, TV forgotten, a worried frown on his face.
==========================================================
Well past two am, Nick was dozing, jumping back awake when the phone buzzed in his hand.
He answered automatically, he knew who was calling.
“Yeah…..hi Zak…..”
“Nick...are you awake….?”
“Zak...is anyone, apart from you, awake at this time....?”
Zak ignored his barbed comment, his voice sounding anxious in Nick’s ear.
“I’ve been thinking bro…...did you suggest this because you want to get off on it? You think that giving me a beating would make you feel better….I dunno...stronger….?”
“No Zak….you’ve got totally the wrong idea….I just thought that if we tried it...and it helped you feel better….that you wouldn’t need to do...well….what you do….and I don’t, not for a second...think that I’d like to seriously hurt you….that’s not who I am….and certainly not how I feel about you….”
“How do you feel about me….tell me Nick….I need to know…..”
The brown eyes stared into the dark, knowing he’d walked right into that.
He pushed himself up, back against the headboard, rubbing the short cropped hair on his head thoughtfully.
“Zak….ever since we first met, you’ve had a hold on me...you know it….where ever you went, I followed, whether it was into a haunted place, a nest full of demons, or just chillin’ out at the fairground. We’ve been through such a lot of stuff….professionally...personally...some real nasty shit….and yet..here I am….you go...I follow. I split from my wife, I live in a gaff as small as a matchbox, and I know I can never come back to Ghost Adventures. And yet...you are still everything to me...I love you Zak, more than anything….and you should know that by now man…..and yet you still doubt me……”
A small sigh escaped, before the brown eyed man could hold it back, upset he had to pull all those feelings back into the foreground of his mind, bringing loneliness and regret clawing back into his consciousness. Loneliness….lying in his bed without the one he loved...knowing that he had to stay that way until Zak’s state of mind stabilised, until it was safe to have him in the same place as his little girls. Regret that although Zak would never hurt anyone else, hurting himself was a trauma to which he could never expose those children.
The silence continued, although within the connection, the implication of silent tears seemed to pierce into Nick. Eventually, he spoke.
“Zak...come on man….please...I can’t leave the kids….but I’m scared….scared every time you are alone..that you’ll cut yourself…..something needs to change man….that’s all I was trying to do….to help you...only to help…..”
When he spoke, Zak was quiet but firm….any emotion had been suppressed, whether it was only for Nick’s benefit was hard to tell.
“I’m ok buddy…..don’t worry…..and you’re right...I want to be able to have you come over, bring the girls, have some normal family life...I want to feel ok, not to keep hiding myself away to hurt myself…..”
A heavy silence stretched between the two men. Nick didn’t realise he was holding his breath, until he spoke, his nerves stretched to breaking point.
“So Zak….end game….we try this thing...or I take all the stuff back to the mall…..”
“What!! You’ve already bought this shit?!! Nick Groff...you devious bastard…..”
“You always said to be ready for anything Zak….just following your lead……” Nick drawled sensing Zak was ready to try.
=================================================
Later the following day, Zak was in the gym, which took up a good part of his garage. He’d hardly slept, and the possibilities of the next few hours loomed tauntingly in his mind, generating nervous butterflies in the pit of his stomach. The beep of the intercom announced someone at the gate.
Nick had dressed nicely, slim black jeans and a dark hoodie, over his plain black vest. Zak eyed him hungrily, always appreciating the taut and sinewy frame, knowing that, despite his slim frame, Nick had strength in his body equal to his own. Normally, Nick would grin and hug him close, but today he had a stern look, giving Zak a slight quiver of anticipation. He dropped the large sports bag and walked up to face his partner.
“OK….are you OK bro...you look a little pale?”
“M’ ok….just didn’t sleep…..so….what happens now…?”
“Let’s sit for a minute...I need to be sure you know how this works…” Nick slid his arm over Zak’s shoulder, kissing the side of his face, before guiding him over to the same beat up leather settee he had occupied yesterday.
“So you have a safe word….you say it when you want me to stop...and when you say it I’ll stop...no questions...no judgements...I just stop”
Zak’s deep blue eyes stared into Nick’s, looking more scared than Nick had ever seen him.
“And you have three colours - green is good to go...yellow is back off..I need a minute...and red...well..red is not ok. I expect you to use these, and I’ll be asking you what colour you’re at..and you need to be honest. This isn’t about being brave, or pushing your limits...we’re not in a competition….”
The dark head nodded, as Nick wove their fingers together, squeezing encouragement.
“What do you pick for your safeword?”
Without hesitation, Zak’s eyebrow rose as he whispered the word “Ghost”
“So, let’s begin….take off your tee shirt and go stand facing the beam over there”
Zak rose, his arms crossing over to pull off the shirt, exposing the smooth skin of his back to the cool air. After double checking the outer door was locked, Nick followed, dipping into the bag to pull out a soft blindfold and a long length of scarlet coloured rope. His footsteps sounded loud on the concrete floor, as he walked slowly to stand inches away from Zak’s long body. Small goosebumps rose along the skin, as Nick’s breath whispered across the older man’s back, using the heat of his body to reassure the nervous man.
With a smooth motion Nick twisted the blindfold over Zak’s eyes, then taking his hand, he caught one wrist in the loop of the rope, and in the blink of an eye, had both hands imobile, up above Zak’s head, tied to the beam. It happened so quickly Zak had no time to protest. It was only when Nick checked the loops around his wrists, the reality of the situation hit him. Zak let out a quiet huff of breath as the warm hand trailed over his ribs, down over his waist, gently pushing the sweatpants further down over his hips, exposing the two matching dimples of his lower back.
“What colour are you at Zak?” Nick’s voice was low and gravelly, making Zak inwardly shiver at the commanding tone. When things got physical, Nick was always in control, reassuring Zak that having Nick standing behind him was the only way this could happen.
“Green.”
Zak’s voice was rough, as his throat seized with nerves.
Nick took two steps back, shaking out the long leather tails of the flogger he held in his right hand, making it whisper intimately in the quiet space. His heart was thumping nervously, as he drank in the sight of Zak’s tense muscles, bringing a strange quiver of arousal as he knew that, for this short time, that incredibly desirable body was totally at his mercy.
“Ten to start. You count.” his terse words sounded far away to Zak.
The air divided around the tails of the flogger, as the first easy stroke landed. Not hard, just a sweet lick of the leather against the white skin. Zak jumped, more startled than hurt, the trails on his back smooth, more like the fingers of a lover than a punishment.
“One”
The second had more vigour, sparkles of excitement pebbling his skin.
“Two”
The next strike brought some force, stinging across the broad expanse, between the wide shoulder blades, insisting on being recognised, but not yet pain.
“Three”
This time he knew it. As the leather fronds bounced into his skin, he gasped, realising that this was serious.
“Four”
Another….bringing the smart on his back singing through his blood, blood galloping through his body like a runaway stallion, beating time with his heartbeat.
“Five”
Now a sly sharp bite, a different angle, crosswise, fetching the rose bloom to the rest of his broad back, completing the dancing fire, his fingers clenched the rope holding tight around his wrists.
“Six”
The tremble he felt started in his belly, the awareness making him sweat, before it was dropping smoothly between the cradle of his pelvis, the simmering pattern on his back a slow river, melting, molten, glowing and very very scary. Zak tensed, clenching his arms, all the muscles from his abs down to his thighs fighting the sensation. He almost forgot to speak.
“Seven”
He waited, feeling sweat dripping, pulling himself together as the burn over his back thrummed insistently into his consciousness. When Nick came closer, to blow a stream of cold air over the troubled skin, he whimpered.
“Colour?” One word, caring but not in the least soft.
“Green”
Silence…...seemed as stretched as his nerves, before..
Hard stripes, throbbing..his back roared as the tails spread, fire dragons chasing into all the sweet places, his toes, his nipples, his groin, his balls...driving everything out except feeling, leaving him hardly able to move his mouth.
“Eight”
He wanted to cry...the feelings so intense….almost shame...he didn’t want this to make him cry...that wasn’t justified, he was stronger than that….he wouldn’t….he couldn’t….he breathed hard, white teeth trapping his lip as he bit back the sob, waiting for the next swish in the air.
No longer playing….no longer patient….the leather forceful, a harsh grunt in his throat as the knowledge ricocheted round his body, the sweet sharp burn leaving him nowhere to hide...no more delusion….the hurt was just so good….he shuddered hard as it gripped him, squeezing his balls.
“Nine”
Breath fast.and high..his head hanging….tremors shaking his knees….Nick had said ten….he wouldn’t let him down..., knowing his body’s reaction was out of his control, he waited...hung like a ham...sweat, tears, cock rock hard in his pants.
The air shifted around the broad shoulders, as Nick’s final strike came down on the sleek sweat dewed skin, leaving glowing coals in its wake. He shuddered with the effort of holding back, need pulsing in his blood as the bite of the lashes dug into him, leaving him lost inside the molten shell, feeling only the swirl of pain across his skin, and the intense desire for sex pulsing hard down the length of him like he was coming already.
“Ten” he whispered.
Nick struggled back from the deep place he’d been in like coming to the surface of a dark lake. He dropped the flogger, taking fast strides to reach out to the glistening form, feeling the heavy body trembling like a new born colt. Gently he pulled away the blindfold, wiping the moisture from Zak’s face, his long eyelashes dewy over the flushed cheeks.
“Zak…..Zak…..are you with me? Come on man….let’s get you sitting down….”
His heart was in his throat as he examined the long body. He could see Zak’s back was bright, but there were no obvious marks, certainly no broken skin, just a glow like a bad sunburn. Quickly the ropes released and Nick pulled one heavy arm around his neck, taking Zak across the room, to allow him to sink onto the leather. He crouched down to eye level, running his fingers into soaked hair, smoothing it back to see his face, noting the mouth, deep pink and showing teeth-marks on his bottom lip; Zak’s blue eyes, out of focus, glassy.
The younger man couldn’t help the kisses he dropped across the jaw, over the sweat of his forehead. His movements quick and precise, he brought the water bottle, and the aloe gel. Zak took the bottle, his hand shaking, and chugged down a good measure.
“How are you babe...you did so well….so good……” Nick’s voice was low, comforting, as he pulled the towel over Zak’s shoulders, careful to avoid his back.
“Here…..I have something to help the burn, lie on your front…”
Zak shuffled across the long settee, huffing as the cold drops of gel were spread over the still smarting skin, his mind totally closed down apart from the gentle touches against his back. He felt as if he was out in space, to a quiet place he’d never come close to even when he tried meditation. It was a good feeling, it made him feel more complete, more whole, than he had in a very long time.
But there was something he wanted, and he couldn’t wait. His arms, still a little wobbly, raised him back up to sitting position. His hands softly gripped Nick’s biceps, pulling him forward until he was kneeling at eye level with Zak, his eyes wide and dark, silently questioning his lover.
“Nick…...remember when I said that I didn’t think I’d get off on pain…..?” Low voice teasing, Zak’s eyes half closed.
Nick’s tongue whetted his bottom lip, taking his time to reply.
“Yeah...You did...I remember…..”
“Well….here’s something you might like……” he slid forward, his long legs pulling Nick against him, the soft cloth of his sweatpants doing nothing to disguise the boner he pushed against Nick’s stomach.
“Jesus...Zak...you are amazing….” a broad grin lit Nick’s face, his eyes drinking in the sight of Zak’s still flushed face, not missing a beat as he slowly rotated his hips, rolling against Zak’s hard on until the dark haired man let out a low moan.
They kissed, deep, tasting each other, until desire was coursing through their bodies, sending them both dizzy with lust. Zak sat on the edge of the cushion, as Nick rained kisses over his neck and chest, before his hands were sweeping over Zak’s hips, catching at the waistband, dragging down, until the imposing length was free, slapping up juicily against Zak’s belly. Eyeing his powerful erection Nick smiled, rubbing his cheek against the shaft.
“Hey Zak….I must have done something right..never seen you this big bro...…”
Zak had his hands resting on Nick’s shoulders, tiny shudders rushing over his cock as Nick softly rubbed the scruff on his face over the velvet skin, eventually slipping his tongue out to lap the small beads of precum wetting the tip.
Zak grunted, leaned back as he felt Nick’s warm mouth engulfing him, his hips bucking forward, as Nick ignored the pressure on his throat, his eyes watering in protest. He rolled his tongue, sliding it along the underside of Zak’s dick, taking time to make slow swipes, humming slightly, gratified when Zak’s fingers tightened on his shoulders.
“Touch me Nick….make me cum….” Zak whispered, feeling the soft pressure of Nick’s finger stroking his taint, cupping his balls as they tightened, making his knees, still shaky, tremble all over again. Nick curled his fingers, the blunt nails dragging over the vulnerable skin, sucking over the deep crown, fully exposed to the licks and nibbles. Nick felt like he was only getting started, when the strong fingers were digging into his shoulders.
He tilted up to see Zak’s face, where two rosy spots above the hollows of his cheeks contrasted with the dark shadows under his eyes. Nick’s hand fisted around the straining erection, pumping just enough to take Zak slowly over the edge, loving the breathless moans he heard, before Zak’s deep grunts of pleasure accompanied the hard jets of cum captured by Nick’s hot mouth. Eventually he all but collapsed, to lie panting and sweaty back on the abused leather settee.
Nick’s chin rested on his hip, his eyes bright as he watched Zak try to recover...all he could hear was muttered sighs of “Oh my God…” and “Jesus Christ Nick…” as the dark haired man slowly stopped shaking and his breathing came somewhere close to normal.
“How was that for an out of body experience?” he enquired softly, his hand warm over the muscled thigh, smiling fit to crack his face.
“God Nick….that was totally fuckin’ awesome man…..” Zak’s lids dropped over his blue eyes, as he looked off to the side, his tongue sneaking out real quick to whet his lips.
“What?” Nick knew all the signs. “What’re you thinking….? If you don’t want to do it again...that’s ok man...you said you’d try...and you did…..” He sounded a little crestfallen as he pulled the towel up to cover Zak’s chest, making sure he didn’t get chilled.
Zak’s eyes flashed dark as his glance returned to meet Nick’s warm brown eyes. The smile spread, showing his dimples, as he quirked a glossy black eyebrow at Nick.
The younger man smirked, pushing himself up to kiss the smooth skin of Zak’s neck.
“Next time…...next time……..I’ll really make you squirm…..”
Zak turned to face him, his cheeky smile still in place.
“Bring in on, bro……” he whispered.