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“Alright. You better be back by tomorrow afternoon, got it?” Jamie anxiously tapped his peg leg against the ground as Mako gathered up some things in to a bag for his mission. He didn’t get a reply, but it’s not like that was unusual. Mako wasn’t exactly a talkative bloke.
“When ya get back I want ta show ya real crazy stuff I’ve got brewing up. Two words. EXPLOSIVE. CONFETTI. Winston was really helpful in advising me of some of the more technical bits so we could get the idea off the ground. She’ll be apples once we figure out some finer details!”
That elicited a small chuckle from Mako, and he gave Jamie a little pat on the head before heading toward the door. “See ya tomorrow.”
“Yeah, see ya Roadie.”
——
It was 8am two days later when Angela approached him in the mess hall. Jamie had been excited that they’d started including traditional Australian foods on the menu every once in a while and he wasn’t going to pass up on the opportunity.
She’d frequently tried to talk to him and always asked if he’d like improvements on his prosthetics. He was always nice to her and declined, but took her up on any potential improvements that he could do himself. He actually kinda considered her to be his friend.
She’d take a seat across from him at a table now, pulling her hair in to a ponytail before speaking. “Jamie, are you free to talk?”
He gave her a little smile and nodded. “Sure, what’s on your mind, doc?”
He could see she was visibly worn. She had bags under her eyes, and they almost had a reddish tint to them. Mei had walked in to the mess hall for a brief moment before seeing the pair and turned around instantly.
“We found Mako in São Paolo after he hadn’t checked in in two hours. We tracked him down and sent another local operative to find him. Jamie he.... He didn’t make it.”
All the expression immediately drained from his face. “Yer jokin’ right? Are you telling me he’s dead?”
“Jamie-“
He cut her off and stood from the table, wanting to throw his food at the wall. So, that’s exactly what he did. The plastic tray collided with the wall and the cup full of his morning orange juice shattered, sending pieces flying around.
Angela cringed and used her arms to cover her head, not wanting to take too much damage from being punched or kicked.
“I DON’T WANNA HEAR THIS BULLSHIT RIGHT NOW! YOU FUCKERS SENT HIM ALONE! I WANTED TO GO WITH HIM! AND WHAT DO YOU DO? GET HIM KILLED. I KNEW JOINING THIS PLACE WAS A LOAD OF SHIT!”
——
He spent the next four days locked inside his room. He didn’t cry. He didn’t shout anymore. He didn’t feel anything. Jamie didn’t even think about how Mako didn’t come back on time. He was too busy being focused on his explosive confetti concept.
He thought about how if he had been there then Mako would have been okay. He blamed himself fully for the situation and how it unfolded.
Nobody came to check on him except Lúcio, be it because they were afraid of him because of how he treated Angela or just because they respected how he dealt with shit. It didn’t matter.
Lúcio knocked on the door and slowly entered. Jamie was drifting in and out of sleep.
“How are ya doin’ man?” He asked rather quietly. Lúcio was afraid a little, but he understood humans and emotions far better than anyone else in Overwatch.
Jamie grunted a little in response. He fucking hated emotions and talking about them. They were just straight up gross. That’s probably why he never really got around to telling Mako how much in love with him he really was.
It had been a couple missions back when Mako saved his scrawny ass for the thousandth time that it really hit him. They’d spent years together now, and as he Jamie began to discover his sexuality, he discovered that he only had ever had feelings for one guy.
He held back some tears now as he thought about all this and pulled the scratchy wool blanket over his face.
“Alright, that’s fine. Just lemme know if you need anything, okay?” And with that, Lúcio left the room the same way he entered.
He didn’t attend the funeral two days prior, and he hadn’t visited the grave they’d set aside for him in Watchpoint Gibraltar. He didn’t know when he’d be ready to. He’d decided though, that alive or dead, eventually, he’d have to tell Mako about how he really felt.
——
It wasn’t until a few days later that he finally emerged from his room, covered in more dirt, grease and sweat than what was normal.
He plopped down beside Mako’s resting place with a bottle of booze and took a long swig.
“Roadie, I wish you hadn’t gone without me. I really wish you hadn’t. You said you’d be back. You lied to me. I ‘spose it’s my fault too. I should have stopped you. I knew it was a bad idea.”
He paused, took another drink and finally let a couple tears roll down his face.
“It doesn’t get easier.”
Jack scared the living shit out of Jamie. So much so that he had thrown his liquor bottle in the direction of his voice. The two hadn’t said more than a couple words to each other, so Jamie found it more than a bit odd.
“What?” Jamie tried not to let the venom show in his voice and he frantically tried to wipe away any stray tears.
“Losing people. It doesn’t get easier.” Jack had caught the bottle and set it on the ground.
“What the hell would you know?”
It was then that Jack Morrison actually laughed. “Far more than you’d think kid.”