Chapter Text
There are two types of people in the world. The ones who know pain and the ones who don't.
People don't know pain, until something terrible happens. They know heartbreak, physical ache, but pain that freezes your guts, mutilates your lungs to the point you can't breathe, that dulls your mind and can't make you think anymore… pain of someone dear dying… Very few knew, and it upset Kira, how everyone assumed that they knew what he was feeling.
His mother used to say to not judge a book by its cover. You don't know what others have been through. It's not our place to judge when we don't know how they feel . This was probably true, mothers were always right, but sometimes Kira couldn't help but think that these were just nice words to make her sound good. Everyone could have problems, could have bad things in their lives that we didn’t know, but that didn’t give them an excuse to pretend they were something they’re not.
His parents' funeral took place four months ago, but everyone still looked at him and faked their pity and pretended to show empathy, it was a sham just to make them look good.
Pity the kid with the dead parents.
Momo was the only person who didn't do this; she was the closest to understand what he was feeling. Her parents left her with her grandmother when she was 3 and never returned. She never spoke about it, but Kira knew she was conformed with the situation. She loved living with Granny and her cousin, and that was enough. Momo didn’t need her parents to receive the unconditional love she was already receiving.
It was now the end of Summer vacation and they both sat on her house's porch doing nothing but staring at the trees, clouds and birds. This was going to be the last time they were together like this. In the following day, Kira was going to move in with his uncle to another city leaving Rukongai for good. He didn't have any other family members and he couldn't continue to impose Granny, she already did too much by taking care of him in these past months.
Momo sighed next to him. Kira looked at her, she was small, cute and intelligent; she always said that she wasn't the type that guys liked, but Kira begged to differ, she wasn't the type that guys wanted to hit on, she was the type guys wanted to have as a girlfriend.
They knew each other since elementary school; many people had wondered if they dated as they were always together. It occurred to Kira in the past to try something, just for the sake of at least knowing what it was like to kiss, but he never had the courage to do it. Kira was the type of person girls liked to have as a best friend, not kiss. Plus, Kira didn't want to ruin his friendship, they were best friends and that was more important than anything else.
Kira hugged his knees tightly resting his forehead against them. This was a sad goodbye, but he had to get away from this town and from these frivolous people. He couldn’t stand them anymore, he couldn’t stand the memories...
They lived in the rich part of Rukongai where everyone had nice houses, big cars, wore high-end clothes and had important jobs. Everybody’s parent was the CEO of some company or a bank. Everybody was the same, looked the same, thought the same. Kira himself was part of "everybody" until 4 months ago, he looked the same as every other guy at school, heard the same music, watched the same shows, had the same phone, spoke about the same subjects. His parents were co-founders of a successful book editor company that had launched the career of many famous authors. He was a clone like any other.
But now… he guessed, he woke up. That's what pain does, it awakens us.
Momo was never part of everybody, though. She genuinely liked the lifestyle, but knew how to be humble. Her origins taught that. She was able to be part of everybody and at the same time be herself. This was what Kira liked the most about her.
"Well," she spoke, "at least you won't be alone. Abarai-kun will be with you."
True. He had a childhood friend there, but he doubted that Abarai even remembered him properly. They stopped talking in middle school, and then it was just the yearly Happy Birthday through social media.
"And it will do you good. I mean, it's a public school, but it's better right? You'll have more freedom, probably you can wear any clothes you like."
"They also use uniforms," Kira mentioned. They were different though. In the private school, the uniform consisted of a dark blue blazer, pants, vest, shirt and a red bow, with shiny black shoes, while the new one, was just a beige cardigan, white shirt with tie, and plaid brown pants. The shoes were plain black ones too. The uniform was ugly...
"Oh..." She crossed her arms and looked at him. "Still, you will meet new people, normal people."
"I don't want to meet people."
"Hey," Momo put her arm around him. "I know you don't want to be with anybody, but promise me you won't be alone. Promise me you won't isolate yourself."
Kira looked back at her, Momo was dead serious glaring.
"I promise." She wouldn't let him go if he didn't. But it was the truth, he didn’t want to meet anybody, that was why he was leaving in the first place, he wanted to get away from other people.
"And if you need, you can always video chat me." She smiled, her braces shining against her teeth, and he smiled back. "You need to visit us, do you think your uncle will allow?"
"I think he will."
"Is he cool?"
"I guess, he's a music teacher, he plays in a band I think." His parents rarely spoke about Rose, almost as if he was the black sheep of the house. He didn't want to follow the family business so he followed his own path. He had his own band, that made him cool, no?
The next day, Rose came to take him to his new house by car. Momo, Granny and even the little Toushirou wished him farewell. No one else came as no else knew he was leaving. No one needed to know. Although, Kira still felt a small tightness in his chest for not telling anything to his senpai who took care of him at school.
It was a four hour drive that seemed like eight. Rose attempted to make conversation, but Kira didn't want to talk, he was rarely in the mood in the past days. Rose was a nice guy with long blond hair, wearing a black suit casually. He wore many rings in his fingers and patted the steering wheel while listening to classic rock songs on the radio.
They stopped at a service station for a quick break. Kira checked his phone and read the text message he just received and for a second he let out a small grin.
"Bye Bye Izuru :) "
He wasn't expecting it. Gulping, he replied back, "Goodbye, Ichimaru-senpai" , Momo found Ichimaru creepy and didn't like him much, but he was a good person. And he noticed he was gone… This was heart-warming.
They arrived during the afternoon. Rose's flat was on the third floor of a small apartment complex, it was located between many other buildings in a suburban area. It was quite different from home in Rukongai. The house itself was not too small. It had a living room, a separate kitchen, bathroom and two bed rooms. Kira’s room was simple with just furniture: bed, nightstand, desk and a small walk-in closet.
"You can do whatever you want, it's your space now,” Rose said. Kira could sense that Rose was fidgeting. What 30-something-year-old had to suddenly take care of a teenage kid? This was the last thing he probably wanted in his life.
Kira unpacked some of his belongings, clothes, books, laptop, gaming console, and other objects he brought. He had no TV in the room, so his console was useless. He still enjoyed having it displayed with his video games. His mother offered him for Christmas 2 years ago and it was a sweet memory. His father playing with him fighting games, his mother yelling for them to go to bed, threatening to hide the console if they didn't obey. Still, she would offer him the newest game, every time he asked…
Kira sat on the single bed leaning against the window, looking outside. The street was calm, a car passing by once in a while. The air in this place smelled different.
He went through the photo gallery of his phone, looking at his mother's picture, he got teary, but didn't cry, he didn’t cry anymore, he just… felt.
The phone rang in his hand and he stared at the group chat that he was just added.
Reunion
You joined Reunion chat.
Peaches: Here he is!
Red Monkey: Kira!
Peaches: Did you arrive at Seireitei?
Kira, not killer: Hello, yes I'm here.
Red Monkey: Cool, how are u man? :D
Kira smiled. Abarai still remembered him.
Kira, not killer: I'm fine, and you?
Red Monkey: I'm great! I miss u! When are u startin school?
Kira, not killer: Monday
Red Monkey: Ok, I will wait for u at the entrance. Anything, text me, ok?
Kira, not killer: Thanks.
Peaches: Abarai-kun take care of him!
Red Monkey: Yes, mom.
Red Monkey: :P
Red Monkey: Of course, I will!
Kira received another text message, but just from Momo.
Peaches: Now you have his number. Make friends!
Kira, not killer: Yes, mom…
He knew she was trying her best for him to move on, but Kira just needed some time for himself.
Monday came fast and he tried the new uniform. The brown plaid pants were not very fashionable, the shirt was plain, and the tie was the same plaid pattern as the pants. He felt different just by using it. Unlike his previous school, the uniform didn't include the bag, so he wore his dark blue Eastpak.
Rose drove him to the school, parking at the beginning of the street. Many parents were parked driving their children and it was chaotic.
"Are you ready?" Kira wanted to say No, but he couldn't. Kira smiled lightly, "Yes, thank you for the ride."
"No problem, good luck!"
Kira got out of the car and started walking. The school was big, it would take a few minutes until he reached the main gate. On the side, some students were chatting, a couple was even making out in a way that made everyone around uncomfortable.
There were many bikes and motorbikes parked. A guy wearing a black leather jacket had just parked a green Kawasaki. Kira realized it was also a student since he was wearing the same plaid pants. The student removed his helmet and placed straight away a cigarette in his lips, lightening it with one hand. Kira mentally cringed, he didn't like the idea of students smoking; in his old school, if someone smoked they would be expelled right away. It was strange that this guy just did it casually next to the school… sure, they weren't at the entrance, but still… Kira was quite sure now, that he wasn't going to like this place.
The guy made eye contact with him and it startled him, making him walk faster. The guy had a freaking tattoo on his face! What the hell?! It was like he just moved to the delinquent town! His heart beat faster by the second and he reached the gate. Many students were entering and he followed them.
Seireitei wasn’t a dangerous place per se, but he wasn’t used to unknown people. At Rukongai, everybody knew everybody.
He looked around to find Abarai, but there were too many people. He considered texting him but he didn't want to be a bother. Being the new kid was going to be difficult as it was, he didn’t want to add more into Abarai’s generosity.
As he was walking towards the main building, he heard his name being called.
"Kira!" Abarai was on the side of the building waiting for him.
Kira met him and Abarai hugged him, catching him by surprise. Abarai was tall, very tall. He had broad shoulders and still had long red hair. He wore the same uniform as a Kira, but with the shirt and the tie loose. His hair was tied in a ponytail and he had a red bandana partially covering his head. He looked so different from elementary school. The skinny tall redheaded kid turned into a buff, still tall, axe-smelling dude.
Kira could barely react with the bear hug. In his previous school, there was an unwritten rule of no-hugging-or-touching, he did hug Momo, though, but not at school. Abarai turned him around to a group of students--his friends--still with his arm around him, he introduced them.
"Guys, this is Kira Izuru my friend I told you about!'' Then he started pointing. "That's Madarame, Iba, the hot one is Matsumoto," she smiled and waved him back. She looked like a Hollywood star, with wavy hair and perfect makeup. "that's Yumichika," Kira felt him glare up and down, Yumichika reminded him of the guys from his old school. "And I think you remember the cute Rukia, right?" the smaller girl frowned at the ‘cute’ and waved him, "'Sup Kira?"
"Hello," he replied.
All looked very casual. They wore the uniforms the way the preferred; Madarame didn't even wear the tie, Iba didn't have the shirt tucked in his pants and wore sunglasses, while Matsumoto could barely close the shirt, Yumichika wore his uniform properly on the exception that his shirt was also not tucked in. Was this the general rule? He looked around and saw that other students wore the shirt tucked in so he assumed that wearing the uniform as he was wearing now was the correct way. The only one who seemed to wear the uniform properly in that group was Rukia.
Kira remembered Rukia from his elementary school with Abarai, but he was never too close to her. It was just Abarai, Momo and him.
Matsumoto started to talk, "So, you came from Rukongai High?"
"N-no, from Rukongai County"
"The private school?" Yumichika asked, raising an eyebrow. It didn't look like it was a good thing to share.
"Yes."
"Oh, so you're probably rich? Why did you change and move here to the common folk school?"
"Yumi!"
"What? I just find it odd."
Matsumoto ignored him and then turned to Kira. "Don't mind Yumichika, he takes time to warm up. I know someone from Rukongai County-" She was stopped by Abarai's words. "This is Hisagi," Kira turned around and looked at the newcomer. Leather jacket, tattoo in his face. It was the guy from before, he was now wearing sunglasses though. "And this is Kira, my friend I told you was coming."
Hisagi put down his shoulder bag while looking up and muttered a low "Hey" before sitting down next to Madarame.
"Rough night?" Iba asked.
"Kinda," his voice was low and husky and Kira started to feel strange again, these people were not the type he was used to. He wondered what his former colleagues would think if they saw him with Abarai and his friends.
"We should go inside, what's your class?" Abarai asked as they walked into the main building.
"2-A"
"Cool, we’re in the same class!"
Kira was seriously impressed. 2-A was the Advanced class, and he didn't expect to have his friend there. He felt guilty for misjudging Abarai because of his attitude.
"Come sit next to me." They sat down in the middle of the classroom. All of Abarai's friends were scattered in different classes, except for Hisagi who followed them, and sat behind him. He removed his jacket, but kept the glasses on as he laid down his head using his arms as pillows.
"So, where are you living?" Abarai asked.
"About 20 minutes from here. It's near a coffee shop with a crown logo." That was the only landmark Kira found.
"Oh I think I know the area! I can show you around town after school if you want to."
Abarai was so excited, he couldn't say no.
"Sure."
"How is Momo doing? We've been texting, but it's been a while since I saw you two."
"She's fine. You know Momo, she's always fine."
"Ahahah, that's true. I still remember when we played tag and she was faster than us."
"She's still fast. She is in the tracking team."
"I'm not surprised. What about you? Are you part of any clubs?"
Kira wondered for a moment what he should say. His previous school had clubs for anything. He realized it would be stupid to lie.
"Reading club."
"Oh really? Well, actually there's barely any clubs here, and none of us are part of them. We are more, let's hang out after schoo l club."
Even if there were a few clubs, Kira wouldn't join this time. His goal was to be alone as much as possible.
The first class was history with Kyoraku-sensei, who was probably the most chilled teacher he ever met. He introduced Kira to the class and then told all students to continue an essay they started the week before. Kira joined Abarai with his essay to understand what they were doing. To be honest they were way behind compared to Rukongai County.
Hisagi still sat behind them sleeping. Kira wondered how the teacher never mentioned anything, it was odd how relaxed they were in this school. He had seen in his previous school a student being dismissed from class for yawning!
During break, Abarai introduced him to more people-'meet my childhood best friend!'- and showed him the key places of the school: lockers, the cool bathrooms, hangout spots, cafeteria, and the rooftop. The rooftop was clearly off-limits to students, but all Abarai's friends were there, mostly smoking. During lunch hour, the cafeteria was filled with students. And he could tell apart the different groups, it was like watching a teen movie. There were the preps, the jocks, the popular girls flirting with the jocks, the more alternative kids, and then Abarai's group… Kira realized they were definitely the delinquents. They were loud, Matsumoto was sitting on the table laughing clamorous with Yumichika.
Madarame punched the table."That fucker!"
Abarai sat and Kira followed. "What happened?"
"He was kicked out of class by Soi Fon for texting," Yumichika stated as he took a bite of his salad.
"I was fucking texting you!"
"It's your fault for being so careless."
"Why are you so upset? You're kicked out of classes all the time," Abarai asked.
"Kenpachi told him that he couldn't practice anymore at the dojo if he didn't improve at school," Iba responded.
Kira just listened, not understanding most of the conversations. A tray was put on the table and Hisagi sat across him, his sunglasses were gone and so was the jacket. He almost looked like a normal student. Kira didn't want to stare, but he noticed the brunet in front of him wore spiked bracelets in his wrists and had his nails painted black. He never saw a guy with painted nails.
He looked up and then for the first time he actually saw Hisagi's face properly. The tattoo was actually a 69 tattoo, which was a thousand times more insane, but what petrified him the most was the three big scars on the right side of his face. Kira gulped and looked down to his food. He was intrigued, what could've happened to make him look like that. He looked up again and their eyes met, Kira flinched and broke the stare straight away. He was so nervous he couldn't even eat anymore.
Hisagi scared him.
During the afternoon, classes were not that different from the morning. He already covered all the subjects before summer at Rukongai County, so it was a bit boring. Even though the last months were difficult he had spent his time focusing on studying to avoid thinking about the fact he was alone, he knew everything the teacher was talking about.
Unlike the morning, Hisagi was awake doodling in his notebook, as he was sitting right behind Kira, he could hear the sound of the pencil grasping against paper. Abarai was interested in class most of the time, but from time to time he would text from his phone.
When the classes ended, Abarai took him around town like he promised. Rukia and Matsumoto went with them. It took him a whole day to realize that Abarai and Rukia were dating. They weren't the typical couple that was always holding hands or kissing. One could easily miss they were together.
Matsumoto was kind of nice to Kira. She made small talk here and there, slowly making him feel comfortable. Although, she did look shallow and way out of his league-or anyone’s league, really- she was kind. They even exchanged numbers.
"My boyfriend is from Rukongai County," she revealed and she sipped from the straw of her frappuccino. "You may know him."
Kira looked down at his latte, everybody knew everybody at his previous school.
"Probably," he murmured. Her blue eyes analyzed him as if she could see what he was feeling. Maybe she could by the way she spoke, "He says that the people there are kind of assholes."
"They are", he agreed and she laughed.
They took the girls to their bus stops and waited until they got their bus home. Abarai and Kira walked home, since it wasn't far away.
"So what do you think of school? Not as posh and fancy as you're used to, but..." Abarai lit a cigarette and slowly smoked it. Apparently, Rukia didn't like that he smoked so he had to do it behind her back.
"It's nice."
Abarai continued smoking and he felt bad for not saying anything else, he added, "It's nice to meet new people."
The redhead grinned. "I know the guys are kind of messed up, but they are the best of friends you can have." he put his big arm around Kira, "you can count on us, we have your back."
"Thanks." It was such a nice thing to say. Abarai could be a bit too touchy now, but he was the same as when they were children, with a big heart inside that big body.
"Hey, I didn't have the chance to say before… I'm sorry about your parents". His voice was low and sincere.
A tinge of pain blurted from Kira’s chest.
"It's okay, I'm copping", he gulped, "I think."
"Can I ask what happened?" Abarai let him go and continued to smoke. Kira was pretty sure Abarai already knew what happened, Momo must have told him, but he replied anyway.
"It was a car accident. A truck hit the car that was driving in front of theirs and they were on the highway, so... it was… difficult to..." his voice trailed off. Yeah, right copping… He really needed to see a therapist again.
"Sorry," Abarai said again looking down. The redhead was an orphan along with his baby brother; they were both adopted when he was at elementary school, that was why he left. He had passed through a similar situation, so his sympathy was real.
Abarai lived 10 minutes away from him, which was reassuring, considering he felt lost in this place.
Kira was confused, he wanted to be alone, but at the same time he was relieved he wasn't.
At home, Rose was cooking dinner. He seemed happy that Kira arrived late, he wanted nothing more than a soothing welcome. He could tell that Rose was trying really hard to make him feel comfortable, so he was giving him space and freedom.
Kira went to his room and took off his uniform. Before getting ready for dinner, he checked his emails and the notifications in his Soulspace page in his laptop. He had messages from Momo, and 3 friend requests: Matsumoto, Rukia and the last one made his lungs feel constricted.
Hisagi Shuuhei.
He couldn't understand why this Hisagi guy was making him feel so awkward. Everyone in that group was odd to say the least. Heck, Iba and Madarame looked like they were part of the yakuza!
He wondered if he should accept the request; they didn't even speak besides the Hey from that morning. The small profile picture showed Hisagi's face partially hidden behind a professional photo camera, as if he was taking a picture of himself. He tried to check the profile, but was set to Friend's Only. The only thing he could see was that tiny picture. His hand moved faster than his brain and he ended up accepting all requests. He was thinking too much of this, he was not in a good emotional state, and there were a lot of things going on.
Closing the laptop abruptly, he left for dinner.