Chapter Text
The alarm blared loudly from her nightstand table. Molly stretched her arm out from underneath the white duvet, and without looking or even opening her eyes, reached over to the nightstand and shut off the alarm. Morning had come far too quickly.
“Why are you doing this to me? Why are you making fun of me?”
She groaned out loud as memories of that embarrassing phone call filled her mind. Her head pounded, and her mouth was dreadfully parched. How much did I drink last night? She could not recall. It was all a blur of tears and wine and self-loathing.
Yesterday had been another horrible day in a series of horrible days. It had been the first of four desperately needed days off from work, and she had resolved to get herself back on track. She had been letting everything slide, blaming it all on being too busy. The truth was she had simply stopped caring. Housekeeping had fallen to the wayside. There was laundry piled up all around her bedroom, some in need of washing, and some in need of folding. Dirty dishes and cups filled her kitchen sink and counter. She had not bought groceries in ages, subsisting on take out and cafeteria food when she bothered to eat.
While doing her shopping at Waitrose yesterday, she had spotted Tom’s sister, Jenny, in the cereal aisle. Her shoulder length auburn hair gleamed under the fluorescent lights. Dressed in a tan peacoat, dark jeans, and black ankle boots, she checked an item off her shopping list as pushed a trolley loaded with groceries. Molly envied women like Jenny who always managed to look so effortlessly put together.
On the surface Jenny had always been nice to her, but a few backhanded compliments here and there had let Molly know that Tom’s sister did not really care for her. She had not seen or spoken to Jenny since before the break-up with Tom. Molly was not in the mood for false pleasantries, or worse a confrontation, and had tried to make herself unnoticeable while she intensely studied a box of Rice Krispies. No artificial colors or flavors. Good. 114 calories per serving. Ah, yes, that’s great. Vitamin D is important for healthy bones, fascinating.
It had not worked. “Molly is that you?” she heard called out from behind her.
Molly put the box of Rice Krispies back on the shelf and plastered a fake, cheerful smile on her face. “Jenny! Hi!”
“Did you just get off work?” Jenny asked, smiling brightly and simultaneously looking over Molly with disapproval.
“Uh, no, it’s my day off,” Molly suddenly wished she had put a little more effort in to her appearance that morning, feeling slovenly in her trainers, loose fitting cotton pants, and oversized jumper. At least she had brushed her hair.
“Good, you look like you could use a break.”
Molly chuckled softly, her fake smile faltering just slightly “So, how are you? How are the children?”
“I’m well, and the children are growing like little weeds. They keep me so busy. It’s such a challenge at times balancing it all, but you’ll never have to worry about that!” Jenny laughed and touched Molly’s left arm.
Strike number two, Molly had thought to herself. She really should have stayed home and just ordered groceries from the app on her phone. “How is the rest of the family?”
“We’re all wonderful! So excited for Tom’s wedding this fall!”
Molly’s fake smile finally fell from her face, and Jenny beamed triumphantly. Mission accomplished.
“Oh, that’s great!” Molly lied. She crossed her arms across her abdomen, and the shopping basket smacked against her thigh. Her right hand anxiously picked at a loose thread on her jumper sleeve.
“He’s such a brilliant man, and we always knew that he would eventually find someone just as brilliant.”
“Yes, yes. Good to hear. Well, I must be going,” Molly moved past her in the aisle and looked over her shoulder as she walked away, giving a little wave of goodbye. “Nice to see you!”
She rounded the corner and walked down the next aisle filled with soft drinks and bottled water, as she tried to remember what else she needed to buy. Molly chastised herself for not preparing a list. She used to be so organized.
The basket she carried suddenly felt very heavy in her arms. She looked over its contents. Milk. Bread. Apples. Ok, what else…what else. Uh…come on Molly…what else. Her breath became labored and tears welled in her eyes. Don’t cry in the middle of the store, Molly. Don’t be an idiot. Get it together, just get it together.
But, she could not. She set down the basket in an empty spot on the shelf and hurried out of the store. Molly had just made it through the sliding doors when the tears began to fall. She pulled her sunglasses out of her bag, put them on, and began the trek back to her flat. She had plenty of things she needed to do at home. The shopping could wait until tomorrow. At least at home she did not have to interact with anyone.
Little did she know then, that her day was only going to get worse.
XXX
Molly sunk her hands into the scalding, soapy water, retrieved a fork still caked with stuck on food, and set about scrubbing it clean. She knew she had overreacted to Jenny, something that was all too common as of late. She should have just brushed it off and continued with her day. Instead, she had allowed it to upset her and ruin her day.
After scouring the fork, Molly placed into the flatware basket in the dishwasher. She moved on to the next item she pulled from the water, a coffee mug with a sloth that read “feeling slothee, need a coffee”. Once she scrubbed the coffee stains from inside the mug, she crammed it into the last available space in the dishwasher. She realized she would need to run the machine twice to get the dishes truly clean, and scolded herself for letting them go for so long. She added the dishwashing detergent and turned the machine on.
Since there were still several plates and bowls in the sink that needed to be washed, she did those all by hand. Fighting back tears, she angrily scrubbed them clean and set them on the counter to dry. Next, she turned her attention to wiping down the counters, the stovetop, and the cabinets.
An hour later, she looked around her kitchen and let out a satisfied sigh. Much better. Now, time to relax with a nice cup of tea. Then she realized she had missed the cleaning the fridge.
She opened her fridge and groaned. Molly, what the hell is your problem? How could you let your home get like this? Rotten food in every drawer, spoiled milk. You’re such a disgusting slob. Sherlock’s fridge is probably in a better state than yours and his is filled with decaying body parts. She piled the rotten food in the bin and scoured the shelves and drawers with bleach cleanser.
After she finished with the fridge, she turned on the kettle to boil. She rifled around in the cupboards looking for biscuits, but not a one in sight. The only tea she had on hand was Earl Grey. Luckily, she had managed to find a still edible lemon in her fridge, so at least she could enjoy a cup of tea after all.
Molly turned and washed her hands, now red and raw as she gazed out the window above her sink. No longer distracted by cleaning, her mind wandered over to that dark corner. The one she had been trying to avoid all day. Tom was getting married, and she had not even been on a single date since their relationship ended. She had her shot at companionship, and she blew it because she could not stop loving a man who would never love her in return.
“Why would he? There’s nothing special about you, Molly Hooper. You’re ordinary and plain,” that dark voice in her head whispered. Hot tears spilled down her cheeks. Feeling dizzy and nauseous, she leaned over the sink. Her tears turned to loud, gasping sobs. “You’re so pathetic, Molly! Look at you! What have you done with your life? You have nothing to show for it. This is how it will always be for you, Molly. Alone. Just you and your cat,” the dark voice continued to taunt.
Behind her on the kitchen countertop, her mobile phone rang.