Chapter Text
Shiro let out a soft sigh as the small dot appeared on his radar to signify that his destination planet was now in range. However, he didn’t push the Black Lion to approach any quicker. Instead, he stayed at a coasting speed through the emptiness of space with nothing but the stars to distract him from his thoughts.
Maybe this was stupid. Maybe he should have said something to the others.
He looked down at his Galra prosthetic arm and traced the metal creases of his palm. For so long now, it had been a part of him. A memory of his time in Galra captivity and of those he had defeated to be called “Champion”. There were no good memories attached to it. He had no reason to hold onto it, but he found it difficult to make the decision to rid himself of it. For a long time he had tried to convince himself that he could use it for good to fight the Galra and liberate the universe. For a long time his reason for keeping it was due to the fact that the black bayard was missing and he needed some sort of defense. But that was just an excuse back then, and now that the black bayard had been returned he found himself continuously coming up with more excuses to keep it. It was an asset to use to hack Galra tech. It was a way to fight if the bayards were out of reach. But in reality, there was a part of him that wasn’t willing to lose it. Why? Did he have some sort of pride in this sort of trophy from his time in Galra captivity? How could he, after the sins he committed?
Shiro squeezed his eyes shut and bit back the pit in his stomach. He tried to push back the thoughts and tell himself that there was no way he could feel any pride for killing even in the name of self-defense. But the thought kept inching its way back into his brain; you like the power. You want the power of the Galra.
He had to get rid of it. It had been a decision that had come with a lot of thought, and it was a choice he had made alone. He couldn’t bring himself to confide in the others. He didn’t want them to see their leader harboring confusion over something that should be so simple. He had to be a cornerstone for the team, and recently he had found his mind becoming muddled. His thoughts felt hazy and disjointed and the more he wondered why the more his mind lead to this arm.
He hasn’t been feeling like himself. Wouldn’t it make sense that the only part of him that wasn’t human could be the reason for that?
That was the real reason he didn’t want to say anything to the others. He had mentioned it only briefly to Lance, but couldn’t bring himself to reveal how worried it really made him. He didn’t want them to know that he had been feeling so…disjointed. That he had been going into a sort of autopilot and not fully registering what his own body was doing. Some of his decisions that he made he couldn’t remember the thought process of getting to his choice and the more often it happened the sicker to his stomach it made him. He felt out of control, and as the leader of Voltron, he didn’t have the luxury of losing control.
So he had made his choice. He had spoken to the Olkari about the possibility of removing the Galra prosthetic and creating a new, more organic limb. Ryner had quickly expressed interest in the idea, and had directed him to a nearby planet named Cagawa where an Olkari group worked specifically on organic augmented limbs & enhancements. According to Ryner, this neighboring planet was rich in material that could create prosthetics that were nearly identical to real limbs of various alien races, and they could customize your new addition with whatever features you wanted. He had already had all of his information sent over from Pidge’s extensive examinations of his Galra arm and told the group what he wanted: an earthling arm with some defensive capabilities. They had agreed and told him it would take time to build, and now here he was a few months later, on his way to pick up his new arm.
It was a great opportunity, so why did he feel so on edge?
“Relax, Shiro. This is a good thing.” He took a calming breath. “You need this. You’ll be in control again.”
Control. He hated the idea that maybe there was something influencing his decisions. He hated the thought that his muddled memories could be the result of someone’s manipulation. If that was true, then the entire team would be in danger because of him. He could never call himself a leader if he was so weak to allow himself to be controlled.
“Stop it. That’s not what’s happening.” He found that speaking the words aloud helped calm his anxious mind. “I am still the Black Paladin. These decisions are mine. This decision is mine.”
The Black Lion had entered Cagawa’s atmosphere now and he pulled his lion in for landing at the location that Ryner had specified. He took a moment to look around what he could see of the planet and was met with a very flat landscape mostly covered in tall brown grass. There was a clearing nearby where a large building stood that he could tell was Olkari based on its identifiable architecture. That must be the place.
He brought Black down not too far away and took just a second to push all his anxious thoughts to the back of him mind and ready himself. There wasn’t room for any second thoughts now. It was time to let go of this shackle.
Once he dismounted his lion, he was met by an Olkari at the front of the facility named Davyr. He seemed a few years younger than Ryner though slightly taller and he dressed in a long white doctor’s coat. He quickly proved to be quite the chatterbox as he led Shiro into the facility.
“I am so excited to show you what we have created for you. It is my best work to date. We have never worked on something for an earthling so we had to push our boundaries to discover the perfect combination of materials to create a durable, yet lifelike creation.” He hardly stopped to take a breath as he spoke, but Shiro took the opportunity to observe his surroundings. They were walking down a long, grey hallway with a number of doors on each side, but aside from Davyr’s echoing words, there were no other sounds or signs of life. Maybe they were all enthralled in their work behind those doors, if they were as energetic about their work as Davyr seemed to be. “Those Galra have no beauty to their work, although I will admit your prosthetic is the more tasteful of their usual creations. Even still they made hardly any effort to adjust the limb to benefit the host. Besides its basic structure, it has no earthling qualities at all. It’s dreadfully heavy, it must be a strain, and I’m sure you don’t need me to mention the extensive maintenance it requires. I think you’ll be overjoyed at what we’ve built for you.”
After walking down a few identical pathways, Davyr lead him to a door which he unlocked with a code before basically flouncing inside. Shiro followed with much more hesitancy. He was going to be the one undergoing this procedure after all, and he was starting to feel a little nervous with such an enthusiastic doctor. It was a small and simple room, with a gurney in the middle and various tools on tables beside it. In the back were two quiet, white coated figures that seemed to be preparing a few more tools in silence with their back to them. Davyr paid them no mind and goaded Shiro towards a table on the far side of the room.
If he hadn’t known that he was here for a new prosthetic, he would have completely freaked out at the sight of a dismembered limb. The thing in front of him was so realistic that he couldn’t believe it wasn’t the same limb that had been removed by the Galra years ago. He couldn’t help but reach out and touch it. The skin felt real. It had hair. It had fingerprints. It even had nails. He ran his fingers along the creases in the palm and when he pressed down, the fingers curled as human fingers should. It was…it really was unbelievable.
“This is incredible.” He could understand Davyr’s excitement now. “You got all of this from Pidge’s data?”
“Well, the skin tone and hair color, yes. The finger prints, we had to duplicate from your left hand and then we altered them slightly to make them unique to your right.” He pulled up a small computer from beside the table and showed Shiro a visual comparison of the fingerprints.
“Pidge had all of that in her exams?” He had no idea what all Pidge gathered whenever she did those tests, but even hair and skin color? Had that really been necessary?
“Yes, they had extensive research. But not only does it look and feel like your real arm, but it also has the defensive capabilities you requested.” He quickly maneuvered to a different part of his program so quickly that Shiro couldn’t see what other overly personal information Pidge had gathered. In a flash, the Olkari doctor had a few wires attached to the disembodied arm and with a click of a button it lit up with a bright white light that emitted from the palm to the elbow, almost identical to his Galra one besides color. “It should act exactly like your current prosthetic, although we weren’t sure what color to go with. Purple is so closely associated with the Galra, but we can change it at your request. It was difficult to create a skin that would withstand wear and tear from fighting and also hold up against the heat of the internal weapon, but I think we did a wonderful job. I really am proud of this. I would go so far as to call it a masterpiece. Aren’t you excited to get it attached?”
“Yeah. What do you need me to do?” Shiro was starting to feel excited too; perhaps Davyr’s enthusiasm was infectious.
“Just lay down here. We will have to put you under, because the process of removing the previous arm and reattaching the new one isn’t a painless one. But it should be a very quick procedure, no more than thirty minutes.” Davyr guided him to the operating table and donned some gloves as Shiro laid down. He worked and talked as he gathered the prepared anesthesia from the two in the back. He went on about the materials they’d used and the research it took, and he talked so much and so quickly that Shiro hardly noticed when he inserted the IV until his mind started to feel a little foggy.
Pretty soon, his rambling started to meld together and after a while of listening to garbled up conversation, he stared down at Shiro. He asked him a few questions, but his mind was too hazy to understand them and the edges of his vision were starting to fade. Once he didn’t respond, Davyr’s expression changed to sadness and he quickly mouthed the words, “I’m sorry.”
“What?” Shiro furrowed his brow to try to understand why he was sorry, but before he could get any response, there was a bright purple light from behind and the Olkari fell hard to the ground.
Shiro didn’t even have the chance to panic at the sudden change in events. His body could hardly register the movement of white in his peripheral. He struggled against the anesthesia, but was fighting a losing battle as the last thing he saw was the mask of a druid hovering over him. The room was glowing purple, but after that, his world went dark.