Chapter Text
Everything was falling into place.
Shiro was back--the real--Shiro. Lotor was defeated, Coran was well on his way to completing the new castle with the help of Allura and the Holts. Everyone fit perfectly, everyone was needed.
Except Lance.
The moment they set down on Earth, the moment he stepped out of Red, she shut him out. The others didn't even notice, so he didn't say anything. He had thought about it the whole journey home. With Keith back, with Shiro back, the team didn't need him. Heck, they barely even needed him when they were short a paladin, Red rejecting him was just confirmation of this.
It was a frenzy back home. The Garrison, the media, their families--all clamoring to meet the paladins. Luckily, thanks to Sam, the Garrison was prepared, and had already started constructions on a new castle. Shiro and Keith left to coordinate defense while the others went to work on the castle. Lance wasn't an engineer or a diplomat, so with nothing to contribute, he went home.
Everything was just how he remembered it. The hot sun beating down on him, the salt in the air. Varadero was every bit as incredible as the day Lance had left. His family was waiting for him, arms open and tears streaming. His mother held him in a vice for at least an hour. Marco and Luis never stopped grilling him about space, and Veronica blessedly would remind their mom to loosen her grip every time she caught Lance turning blue. The reunion was everything Lance had dreamed it would be. Well, almost.
Whenever he'd fantasize about going home to his family, it was always with his new one in tow. He'd dreamed about sitting down to dinner with his mother across from him and his team beside him. He had told them where he was going, but the others were busy. He wasn't even sure they were even paying him any attention when he left.
He had had it all planned out. Shiro would've reached out to shake Mama's hand, only for her to pull him into a bear hug that lifted him off his feet. Pidge would've hit it off with Ronnie and they'd mercilessly roast Lance in a double sister combo. Hunk, who'd already met his family and been to their house, would've sat down and tinkered with all the appliances the first time he caught the washer squeaking. Allura would've introduced herself only for Mama to clutch her chest with a whispered prayer, then sharply turn to Lance and exclaim how beautiful she was, which, in all fairness was her exact reaction, only she saw Allura on the television, not face-to-face.
Inevitably, Coran would've given the whole family a dramatic reenactment of their adventures, and Lance had been sure that the second the words "lover boy" left his mouth, it'd earn a snide comment from Marco or Hunk. And Lance wished, he really wished, he could've pulled Keith closer, the other boy's face blazing, and proudly declare him the proof of the nickname.
But of course, none of that happened.
None of the other paladins came with him, Coran wasn't there to tell embarrassing stories, Keith...
Lance lets out a deep sigh. The sun is just beginning to set on the beach as he lays on the warm sand, the tide ever so slowly pulling away from his toes. It'd been a little more than a month since they'd arrived on Earth. Or maybe more, he's not sure. He got so used to thinking in terms of quintants and vargas he's having trouble converting back to Earth time. He's really noticing the difference though. An Earth day is longer than a quintant, and there's more days in a week than a quintant in a movement, and even more in a month than a phoeb. Time was dragging, or maybe it just felt that way.
At first, he didn't go anywhere without his communicator, afraid that Haggar or Sendak or whoever was left might find them, but after the first few weeks without so much as a single transmission from the others, he let himself be away from it more and more. It was odd, being home. For so long, the castle had been his home, his teammates his family. It was surreal being without them in a place that was supposed to be more important. Don't get him wrong, Lance was overjoyed to be reunited with his blood family, every moment just as familiar and comforting as the last, but there was a bitterness that sat heavy in the back of his mind.
Given enough hours like these--laying alone under the sky with the ocean as his only company--gave Lance plenty of time to reflect. Maybe everything felt fake because it all felt so...right. Here in Varadero, there was no one trying to kill him, no fights to be fought, no war to be won, and every single person loved him and he knew it. This is where Lance belonged, this is where he fit, and maybe the bitterness was just the struggle to accept that.
The more he thought about it, the more he realized that the castle had stopped being his home long before it was blown up, that his new family were just people thrown together without choice. It wasn't even something he noticed until Keith left. Lance had never belonged there. Hunk and Pidge--team Punk--were always wrapped up in their own bubble. Allura was always doing something both literally and metaphorically magical, and Shiro never gave him the time of day. Well, maybe that was Kuron, but even the real Shiro hardly notices him, so Lance supposes the two aren't really that different on a good day.
And Keith...
With another sigh, Lance shifts his feet, burying them in the sand and relishing the feeling. Lance had been so distracted by Keith Keith Keith that he had fooled himself into thinking he belonged on the team. Whether he was bickering or starting some dumb competition, talking to or thinking about or hanging out with, Keith took up most of his time. And then he left. Lance was angry, then confused, then just...sad. And alone. And suddenly hyper aware that he didn't belong. He spent a long time wishing for Keith to come back, so maybe he wouldn't be so alone, that maybe it'd fill this void in his life, that maybe Keith...
Lance shakes his head, scowling at his own train of thoughts. Keith came back, and he didn't even spare Lance a "hello." He came back older and mature, with his mother and a dog, and he made it obvious he didn't have time for petty luxuries like rivalries or crushes. Because,
Because it'd been two years for him. Two years is a long time to hold onto something stupid like a crush, especially in a war. Especially when you don't even see the other person for two years. Not that Keith had even liked him in the first place. Sometimes, in the dead of night, unable to sleep, Lance would pretend his feelings were reciprocated, but he always knew that that was a fantasy. A lie. Even if it wasn't, Keith had two worry-free years to get over it, whereas Lance had been pining for months to no avail, still thinking that they were on the same timeline. He wasn't given the same chance to turn into a mature, grizzled adult who could compartmentalize his feelings. For Keith, it would've felt like a lifetime since he saw Lance, but Lance had just seen him last week! It felt like something out of a cartoon, some stupid, cliched plot device to drive home to the audience that these two characters one hundred percent do not belong together. Lance didn't fancy himself a cartoon character, but he definitely felt like a fool.
A soft buzzing fills the air. Lance shifts enough to pull his phone from his pocket and bring it to his ear. "Hello?"
"Mijo!" Lance flinches away from his mother's tinny cry. "You got a call! On the orange phone!"
His data pad. He sits up, pinning his phone between his shoulder and ear as he reaches for his discarded shoes next to him. "Who was it? Mama, what did they say?"
A growing noise nearby makes it difficult to hear his mother's words. "They're looking for you! They said they're coming..."
"What?" Lance shouts, jamming a finger in his other ear in a vain attempt to hear his mother. "Mama, who's coming? Is it the Galra? Mama?!"
He can't hear anything, he isn't even sure his mother is still talking. The noise is near-deafening, like standing in front of a jet engine. Sand kicks up all around him and seawater sprays everywhere. Lance finally investigates the noice, and his heart drops the second he looks.
It's the Black Lion.
The ship sets down in the shallows before him, engines coming to a tolerable idle. The lion bows its head and out steps Keith and Shiro.
"There you are!" Keith exclaims, throwing his hands up. "We've been looking everywhere for you--why did you leave Red at the Garrison?!"
Lance's heart squeezes, and he curses that even angry and chewing him out, Keith is so unfairly beautiful, even more so in the warm Cuban sunset. He shrugs, looking away. "I told you guys where I was going." he mutters.
"When?!"
"When I left, obviously!" he fires back, not meaning to raise his voice. Keith scowls; Lance scoffs. "I told Coran and the princess, I told Hunk, I told Pidge--I told your mom." Lance takes sick satisfaction in the indignant red that colors Keith's cheeks. "It's not my fault none of you were listening."
"Lance," Shiro steps forward, placing a hand on Keith's shoulder, "you should've made sure we knew. You're a paladin, you can't just--"
"Run away?" he sneers. "I mean, if being shooed off by everyone else because I'm in the way counts as running away... I mean, it's not like I told absolutely everyone where I was going, even when it'd be super obvious. Oh, and of course I didn't call you guys repeatedly to check in, but I guess you didn't get those memos either."
Shiro is visibly stunned, mouth hanging open. Keith growls, shaking away his brother's hand. "But why did you leave Red behind?"
Lance's heart trips over a beat. He clenches his fists, unable to meet the others' eyes. "Why did you come looking now? Are we under attack? Are the Galra--"
"We're leaving, Lance." Shiro says gently. "The new castle is finished."
Lance blinks. "Already? It's only been like a month--"
"It's been three, Lance." Keith says, suddenly not sounding quite as irritated.
Yikes, so Lance's math was more than a little off. "Oh." he replies simply. A long tick of silence goes by and then he sits back down in the sand. "Well, still... Doesn't take very long to build a spaceship castle, does it?" With great effort, he cracks a small smile.
The other two don't return it.
"Is there anything you need at your house? Clothes, armor? Goodbyes?" Shiro asks.
"I only need one goodbye and it's this one."
Lance can practically taste their confusion, the air around them turning tense and quiet.
"...What?" Keith rasps after a minute.
Lance brings his knees to his chest, resting his head atop his folded arms. "You're right, I should say goodbye to the others too."
"Lance--"
"What are you talking about!?" Keith demands, stomping down the ramp only to be held back by Shiro once more.
Lance takes a deep breath. "I'm not leaving. I'm staying. Here. On Earth."
"You can't just--"
"Keith." Shiro warns.
Lance lets out a hollow little laugh. "C'mon, Mullet, don't be like that. You know as well as I do that I just get in the way."
"Lance..."
"We need you!"
The words surprise Lance, especially because they came from Keith. He looks up at the now older boy; he looks...shaken, devastated.
Another dry laugh bubbles out of Lance's throat before he can stop it. "No, you don't."
"Of course we do. Who's going to--"
"Fly Red?" Lance cuts in. The look on Keith's face says it all. Lance hates that, even for a second, he entertained the hope that this might be about more than Voltron. "I don't know, but it won't be me." he confesses, voice wobbling. "She made that perfectly clear when she shut me out."
"She...what?" Keith falters.
"Lance," Shiro cuts in softly. "When did this happen?"
Lance shrugs with a sniffle and scrubs his eyes with his sleeve. "When we got to Earth? Like the second we landed?" His expression twists into something ugly. "With you and Keith back and the castle gone, 'guess she was just putting up with me until she could dump me somewhere safe."
Keith lurches forward a step. "What are you talking about!?" His voice breaks.
"Lance, you know that's not true..."
"Isn't it, though?" It takes everything in him not to start crying then and there. "I'm not smart like Hunk or Pidge. I can't hack a computer or fix a ship. I'm not magical like Allura, and I'm not a leader--not like you guys. You five are the best possible versions of yourselves, the best possible paladins. You don't need a screw-up like me slowing you down."
Lance's throat feels thick, making it hard to swallow, to breathe. Keith and Shiro can only stare at him, shocked. Their lack of rebuttal is extremely telling.
"Look, it's fine." His voice is quiet and warbles dangerously. "I'm home--I'm finally home. You guys don't need to worry about me. This is where I belong. I'm..." A shaky inhale. "I'm happy here."
He tries his best to put on the mask, to play the carefree version of himself he likes to present to the others, and smiles.
Shiro narrows his eyes, studying him, before relenting. "If you're sure..."
"I am."
"What?" Even two years older, Keith's voice still cracks like a thirteen year old. "No, Shiro--how can you be okay with this?!" He whips around to Lance, angry and frantic. "You can't--Lance you can't just-just leave!"
"You did."
Keith pales, words dying on his tongue. He opens and closes his mouth several times but nothing comes out.
"Lance is right, Keith." Shiro's voice is soft, meant only for his brother. "We all have the right to walk away. You did, Pidge almost did. Lance deserves to have that choice as well."
Keith turns to Shiro, then to Lance, eyes wide and speechless.
"Come on," he places a gentle hand on Keith's shoulder and guides him up the ramp and back into the Black Lion. Before disappearing into the cockpit, he turns back to Lance. "We're not leaving yet. There's some things we need to finalize with the Garrison's defenses, so we'll be here another day or so. If you...if you change your mind."
Lance nods and watches his friends board the lion, watches Black sit upright and take off, watches long after they disappear over the horizon.
It's strange, the feeling he's left with. He hasn't felt this light in ages, like a weight's been lifted off him. Then again, does it count as relief if he just feels empty inside?