Work Text:
How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
-Alexander Pope
The Decision
Merlin was the first thing on Arthur’s mind when he woke up, just like he had been the first thing on Arthur’s mind yesterday morning and the day before that and every other day stretching back the last two years. The only difference was that Arthur didn’t want Merlin to be on his mind. Not since he walked away, at least.
He shoved aside that thought and prepared himself for the day ahead, first with a nice warm shower and then with a delicious breakfast. He put on one of his suits, the type that Merlin always said made him look handsome. It didn’t matter. Merlin was still on his mind. Maybe work would be a better distraction.
********
Work did absolutely nothing to take Arthur’s mind off of Merlin. He should have expected that. After all, as much as he liked his job, coming home to Merlin had been the best part. The thought of his smiles, his laugh, his adorable clumsiness, used to be Arthur’s motivation for finishing his work on time. Now he worked to forget, and it wasn’t enough.
He had just turned his attention back to the packaging design in front of him when his administrative assistant buzzed him.
“Arthur, Uther just called. He wants to see you in his office immediately,” Freya said.
Arthur sighed and ran his hand over his hair, hoping that it still was in place. Uther was a stickler for appearances. If one hair was out of place, Arthur was sure to hear about it.
*********
“Arthur,” Uther said, “I would like you to meet Sophia and Aulfric Sidhe. They are currently heading up a project that has the potential to change, well, everything.”
Arthur smiled and shook Aulfric’s hand before taking Sophia’s. She was beautiful, with long blond curls, and something made him raise her hand up and kiss the back of it. She smiled and giggled.
“Quite the gentleman,” she said.
Arthur blushed slightly, nervous that Uther would comment on the sudden break from proper office etiquette, but, when nothing came from his father, he turned around and forced a smile to his face.
“Why don’t you tell me more about your project so I can give you some marketing ideas off the top of my head?”
Sophia beamed up at him, and he felt his heart lighten. For a moment, he forgot to force himself to think about Merlin. Instead, all he could think of was Sophia.
The Meeting
Gwen was crying when she opened the door. Merlin’s arm dropped from where it had been poised, ready to knock, and immediately wrapped around her. As exhausted as he was, he was never too tired for his friends.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Here,” she said. She shoved a small white card into his chest and then turned to walk back into her flat. He followed her just enough inside the flat to shut the door behind him, and then he looked at the card.
Dear Mr. & Mrs. du Lac,
Arthur Pendragon has had Merlin Emrys erased from his memory. Please never mention their relationship to him again.
Thank you,
Camelot Inc.
“Arthur had his memory erased,” he said incredulously.
Gwen nodded before grabbing a tissue and dabbing at her eyes. “It’s his father’s company, too.”
“I knew Uther didn’t like me, but I never expected him to actively encourage brain damage,” Merlin said.
“I know,” Gwen said. She started crying harder, and Merlin quickly gave her another hug.
“Have you spoken to Lance about this?” he asked.
“No,” she sniffled, “I just came home like twenty minutes ago. I found the card and called you, Lance, Gaius, and Morgana. We’re having a conference about this.”
“What about Gwaine?” Merlin asked, “Shouldn’t he be here?”
“I’m not sure how wise that would be, considering what happened with him and Arthur,” Gwen said.
He knew she was right. Gwaine and Arthur had a falling out about a year ago, although neither would tell him what it was about. He had done his best to make peace between the two, but it was impossible. Stuck between choosing between his best friend and his boyfriend, Merlin had tried his best to make both happy while keeping the two separate. He was never quite sure if he had been successful at it.
“Enough about me. Tell me about your latest work trip,” Gwen said.
Merlin smiled and began to talk. He just wished that he could tell her the truth.
********
It didn’t take long for the others to arrive. Lance was first, his worry for Merlin’s reaction making him move a little faster to get home. Gaius was next. Morgana was fashionably late, like always, but this time she didn’t wear the latest fashions or attempt to take control immediately. In fact, she looked just as scared as everyone else.
They all sat down around Gwen’s kitchen table. Since it was in a circle, there was no one who obviously would start the conversation. For a few minutes, everyone looked around at each other, obviously scared to start.
Morgana, always the bravest of the bunch, finally became annoyed with the silence and said, “I’ll start, shall I? Arthur has not been Arthur since Merlin broke up with him. Actually I take it back. He’s been more Arthur than ever. You can’t pry him away from work with a crowbar, he only sees his friends at the few footie matches he’s been to, and I’ve never seen his flat so neat. It’s actually scaring me.”
“So basically, something drastic was bound to happen sooner or later?” Lance asked calmly.
“Yeah,” said Morgana, “I’ve been waiting for the drunken phone call. I didn’t know to look for a yellow card.”
Merlin hadn’t either. But then, he had never thought memory erasure was an actual possibility.
“What about you, Gaius? Is there anything you can tell us about the procedure?” Gwen asked. She wasn’t going to let them get off track.
“I wish there was, but I really don’t know that much about it. All I know is that Aulfric and Sophia Pix are in charge of the project, and that it is highly confidential.”
“But shouldn’t you know? You’re in charge of their department?” Morgana asked.
“I am,” Gaius said. “But my orders for secrecy come straight from your father, Morgana. I am to have nothing to do with it. I’m not even allowed to read the reports. But I thought this meeting might have something to do with it so I pulled a couple of the files.”
He reached into his tattered leather briefcase and pulled out a USB drive. Gwen quickly brought her laptop to the table. Gaius brought up the files and let everyone crowd in while he explained what they meant.
“I think that what is being stated here is that they create a map of a person’s memories by measuring their reactions towards specific stimuli.”
“What kind of stimuli?” Gwen asked.
“It would most likely be items that remind Arthur of Merlin, you know, like a bear he won for Arthur at the fair or something similar,” Gaius said.
“What else?” Merlin said, cutting the conversation short at the mention of the fair. He had never won Arthur anything, which all their friends knew. It had been a constant source of joking between the two of them, the fact that Arthur was good at winning games and Merlin was merely smart. He had never told Arthur that he was afraid to play most games. He had never told Arthur that he was afraid that his magic would activate somehow and make him win by default.
“Well, they use something that is only identified by the initials MEM in the notes. It’s supposed to target each place in Arthur’s brain so that the memories are completely erased,” Gaius said.
“Is it possible?” Morgana asked.
“Based on what’s here? No, but I can’t help thinking that there’s more than what’s on the company server. This project is shrouded in so much secrecy that it took me an hour just to find this,” Gaius said.
“Maybe it’s magical,” Lance said hesitantly.
Gaius looked thoughtful for a moment and then nodded. “It could be. I’ll have to do a little more research.”
“You don’t have to,” Morgana said. She pointed to a diagram of a metal helmet with wires running to the back of it. “I’ve seen this before in my dreams. And what’s worse, I know it isn’t science behind this; it’s magic.”
Gwen gasped while Merlin’s stomach fell. He didn’t know if he could hear the rest.
“They use this machine to make it look like science, but they must really go into a person’s mind to steal their soul or something through their memories. I saw a woman with long, curly blonde hair leading Arthur into a lake. Arthur went willingly, and he drowned. I haven’t been able to get the image of him floating through green water to the very bottom of the pond out of my mind.” Morgana was nearly crying by the end, and Gwen immediately enveloped her in a hug.
Gaius looked thoughtful. “I don’t mean to disrespect or belittle what you saw, Morgana, but how do you know that you weren’t dreaming of something that was happening in the real world?”
“Because Arthur was dressed as a medieval knight. Every dream I’ve ever had of Arthur has been him in a medieval knight’s costume. It’s who he is, underneath his suit and tie,” Morgana said.
“Could they be using magical means?” Gwen asked.
The conversation stopped at that. Merlin could feel Lance’s gaze on him. He knew that he could no longer hide. He had to tell everyone the truth about himself. Of course, if any of them let his secret slip to the wrong person, he could end up killed or, at the very least, imprisoned for life. And then there were the others, the ones that Merlin had helped over the years. Just because nobody had connected Merlin Emerson with Emrys, the fabled crusader for magical justice, didn’t mean they never would.
But . . . this was Arthur.
He gulped, took a deep breath, and said, “I have magic, more than enough to save Arthur. I can fight for him.”
*********
The Cave
After Merlin’s announcement, it had taken a long time for everyone to settle down enough to map out a strategy. It ended up being a rather easy plan to make after all.
Gaius simply whipped up a tincture that induced Morgana’s dreams. She slept over at Gwen and Lance’s so that they would be able to comfort her if she needed it.
The next morning Merlin had awakened to a frantic phone call from Morgana.
All she said was “It’s happening tonight.”
Merlin called Gaius who called in a few favors with some of his friends. And that’s how Merlin ended up standing in the entrance to a darkened cave.
“Do you think I can really do this?” Merlin asked as he peered into the blackness.
“If anyone can, it’s you,” said Gaius. “Now go on.”
Merlin sighed and then walked in. And then promptly stopped in his tracks.
The cave was, in a word, breathtaking. It was all dark lines with white crystals shooting up from the ground and down from the sky. The light shimmered blue, and he could feel the magic creeping over his skin. Gaius had told him that this was the birthplace of magic. Standing there, looking up at the ceiling, Merlin believed it for the first time.
He walked to the center of the cave and sat down with his legs crossed. He breathed in deep, centered himself, and waited for the phone call.
********
Lance and Gwen sat outside Arthur’s flat in a rented car. Arthur knew theirs too well; he would spot it in a heartbeat if they took it on a stakeout.
Gwen had gotten into the spirit of the stakeout and had prepared a thermos of hot chocolate and a bag of cookies for them to share. And while they munched and sipped, they watched the light in Arthur’s window.
When the light finally went out, it took only half an hour for a white van to pull up in front of his building. A woman with long, curly blonde hair and a man with graying hair stepped out of the van. The man leaned on a staff with a turquoise looking stone on top. The woman pulled two cases out of the back and followed the man into the building.
Gwen took video on her phone while Lance took pictures on his. They immediately sent them to Merlin and then sat in their car, waiting. They didn’t know why they waited, but they did know that they wouldn’t move until they knew that everything was okay.
********
Merlin was calm. Merlin wasn’t nervous or scared for once. As soon as he had let his mind and his magic open to the air around him, he had felt the old magic, so strong in this place, pour into him. He felt it fill every part of him that had the least feeling of doubt and every trace of his old anger at Arthur. It was a heady feeling.
He could have stayed like that forever, carefully maintaining the balance between his magic and the magic around him, but his mobile beeped loudly in flurry of incoming text messages. He pulled it from his pockets and looked at the pictures Lance had sent him. He didn’t recognize the man and the woman, but it didn’t take him long to recognize the staff as an article of magic. It didn’t take him long to sense the power of the machines contained in the cases they carried; they were made from magic and meant to enhance it, similar to how the crystal cave was enhancing his. However, while the cave held the magic naturally, with the calmness of centuries, the machines were new, and the magic was jammed into them, similar to a puzzle-piece being forced into the wrong spot. He smiled and closed his eyes.
Merlin knew that he was in a race to enter Arthur’s mind first. If the machine beat him, there was a chance that the couple (father/daughter? May/December romance?) would register his entrance, and he couldn’t risk that. Too much was at stake.
He let his magic reach out across the city. It had always liked Arthur, had acted like a small, excitable dog on their first meeting, running quickly to Arthur’s side and attempting to climb his leg. Now, it acted like a German Shepherd, quietly and calmly flitting through the streets of London until it found Arthur in his new flat, lying in his bed in brand new, black pyjamas.
His magic created a picture for him of what was going on in Arthur’s room. He saw the man and the woman set up a laptop and take out a silver helmet from one of the cases. The woman carefully carried the helmet over to the bed and placed it on Arthur’s head.
“Are you sure we really need this?” she asked the older man, Aulfric, Merlin guessed.
“Yes, our magic is strong, but this machine concentrates it into one specific area. Without it, we could completely destroy him,” Aulfric said.
“Isn’t that our goal?” Sophia said.
Aulfric looked like he was trying to avoid rolling his eyes. “No, we want his life essence, his soul if you will. Destroying who he is alters the soul, and we need his soul as it is.”
Part of Merlin wanted to say outside of Arthur so that he could hear more, but Sophia was moving closer to Arthur. He didn’t want Aulfric and Sophia to realize he was there. He slipped into Arthur’s mind as quickly and as unobtrusively as possible. If he had to describe it as anything, his entrance was like a fly buzzing into a room, noticeable if you were looking but so easy to ignore. He didn’t want Arthur knowing he was there either.
And then he was swept away.
The End
“Where have you been?” Arthur’s voice was like molten lava barely being held back by the lip of a volcano. Merlin could feel the anger bubbling underneath Arthur’s smoothly posh exterior.
“I was out,” Merlin said.
“With Gwaine?” Arthur asked.
“No,” said Merlin, “with a friend from work.”
“I don’t believe you,” said Arthur.
Merlin sighed and pushed his hair out of his face. “Go right ahead. It doesn’t make it any less than the truth.”
Arthur’s anger seemed to bubble even faster under his skin, but Merlin was too tired from both work and having the same argument over and over to even care. He turned and walked down the hallway to the bedroom and began to pull out his pyjamas.
“I know you were with Gwaine,” said Arthur.
Merlin snorted.
“I called him. He was in a bar and Walk Away was playing,” Arthur said, “Then I called you and the same song was playing in the background.”
“We are talking about the song by Kelly Clarkson, right?” Merlin asked.
Arthur nodded.
“You do realize that Kelly Clarkson is a popular singer and has released a lot of equally popular singles over the years?”
Arthur nodded again.
“Isn’t it possible that Walk Away was playing at both locations?”
“It’s possible but not likely. It’s not like that song is popular right now. It came out ages ago,” Arthur said his anger now laced with indignation.
“Whatever,” said Merlin, “You’re not going to listen to me no matter what I say.”
“If you would just tell me what you were doing…”
“Why? So you can accuse me of sleeping with someone else? Or maybe this time I’ll be selling drugs or fencing stolen goods,” Merlin snapped. He pulled a dufflebag out of the closet and put his pyjamas in it before pulling more clothes out of his closet.
“I—“
“Yeah, you,” Merlin said. He walked to the bathroom and grabbed his toiletries. He threw those into the bag too and zipped it up.
“What are you doing?” Arthur said.
“I’m leaving,” Merlin said, “Call me when you can actually trust me and not just say the words.”
He picked up the bag and marched out the door.
Except he couldn’t go further than the hallway outside the flat. He tried to move forward, the anger that had once coursed through him running fresh in his veins, but his feet couldn’t move forward. He tried, but it was like the world was simply erased passed this moment. And then he realized that it was. Arthur didn’t remember anything beyond Merlin walking out the door because that was all he saw, all he experienced.
He went back.
Actually, he snuck back into the flat, hoping that he was invisible to Arthur. He didn’t know what he would say to Arthur otherwise.
In any case, Arthur didn’t seem to see him. Instead, Merlin saw Arthur stare at himself in the bathroom mirror before his fist shot out. The mirror shattered around him before he fell to the floor and started crying.
Merlin had never seen Arthur cry before. Every trace of anger and resentment flowing through his veins simply evaporated. If only—
Merlin shook his own his head. It was too late for those thoughts. Even if he wanted to start dating Arthur again, he couldn’t overlook the fact that Arthur was willing to have him erased from his memory. That was as clear a sign of regret as Merlin could look for.
But he was here for a purpose; he was here to save Arthur.
He took a deep breath and walked into the bathroom. He stood behind Arthur and reached forward. Before his hand landed on Arthur’s shoulder, he felt himself be pulled back as the house around him disappeared. He made a noise, and, for a moment, he could swear that Arthur looked up and saw him in the mirror.
The Confrontation
Merlin found himself sitting in the back of the Rising Sun at an empty table. He had been in this bar a million times, but it was a completely different experience when a) you weren’t expecting to show up there and b) you were there to spy on your ex-boyfriend and possibly save his soul or life or something. This wasn’t a memory he remembered, that was for sure.
Of course, that’s when he spotted Arthur through the crowd. Arthur was leaning with his back to the bar and was holding a pint of beer in his hand. His eyes were scanning the crowd, and Merlin had to remind himself that Arthur couldn’t see him, that he was simply in this memory because it was connected to him. It wasn’t a lot of comfort, but it at least helped a little.
He was pulled from his thoughts when Arthur finally spotted the person he was looking for. He was expecting to see Arthur’s face in his normal, happy-to-see-you expression, one that Merlin had seen on his face a million times, but now Arthur’s face was just plain scared before he physically steeled himself and a mask of steel fell over it.
And then Merlin saw who was coming up to Arthur.
“You called, princess,” Gwaine said as he signaled to the bartender for a beer.
“I did,” said Arthur, looking down at his beer, “And you know who I was calling about.”
“Merlin,” said Gwaine. He picked up his beer and took a drink. “What do you want to know?”
Arthur took a deep breath and then looked up at Gwaine. “I want to know if you’re sleepng with him.”
Gwaine choked on his beer and started coughing. Arthur hurriedly clapped him on the back and nodded at the bartender for a glass of water. Gwaine took a sip of it, and, when his coughing had calmed down, said, “You must be crazy. There’s no way Merlin would ever cheat on you. Any fool can see that he’s crazy about you.”
“Then why does he always come home late? And why does he always have such flimsy excuses? I know that work’s a little hectic, but it’s always been a little crazy and he’s handled it just fine. I could let those go, but now he’s saying that he’s out drinking with you. And I just can’t let that go.”
Gwaine nodded. It was clear that he was attempting to be serious, but that was never a good look on Gwaine and made him look instead like he was trying to keep from laughing. “I don’t know what to tell you, Arthur. Yeah, I see him once in a while, but it’s nothing more than two friends getting a drink together after work.”
Merlin could tell at once that those words were the wrong words to say. Arthur’s face, so calm with only a hint of his fear underneath, became angry, until it was like a storm was gathering in his eyes.
“Just two friends?” Arthur said, “That’s all?”
“That’s all,” said Gwaine, holding up his hands. The anger in Arthur’s voice had startled even Merlin. He couldn’t imagine what it felt like to have all that directed at him.
“I don’t believe you,” said Arthur.
He set his beer on the bar and walked out of The Rising Sun. Merlin followed, hoping somehow that he could make it better for Arthur.
Outside, snow was beginning to fall, and it made the end of the day gray. Arthur stopped just outside of the bar and rubbed his eyes. For a second he looked like his heart was breaking. Then his back straightened and a cold mask fell over his face.
Merlin walked towards him, hoping to provide comfort, but then a sea of faceless people swept him back. The harder he tried to get passed them, the more people swept him along until he couldn’t see Arthur’s blond hair.
The Second Lie
“I was out drinking with Gwaine,” Merlin said, his voice surprisingly steady. He hated lying to Arthur, but this lie was important. This lie was protecting people.
“Where at?” Arthur asked, seemingly undisturbed. Merlin watched him carefully, attempting to see through his exterior, into the part of Arthur that Merlin knew, now more than ever, was seething with jealousy and anger at not being told the truth. Merlin had always hoped that Arthur was buying his excuses. He should have expected that Arthur would be too smart, too used to sussing out lies as a lawyer to simply believe him now.
“The Rising Sun,” Merlin said. It was his and Arthur’s bar, so if anything, he was hoping Arthur would remember that and not the lie in his voice.
“Why?”
“Because I felt like a drink after work,” Merlin worked to keep his tone even, but even as he started to get swept away in his emotions from that memory, into the following fight, his magic seemed to whisper This is not the way , and he forced his consciousness out of that anger and into the calm his magic provided. He sat there and watched himself enact his fight with Arthur. He wished he knew a way to make it stop, to make Arthur see that even though he couldn’t explain what he was doing, it was killing him to have to lie to him.
That is not the way, his magic sang.
And suddenly, Merlin knew what to do to save Arthur. He had already lost two memories to Aulfric and Sophia. He was barely keeping himself from falling back into the middle of his fight with Arthur. Attacking Sophia and Aulfric was out of the question. But he could lend Arthur a little of his soul. He could let Arthur see.
His magic flared, and suddenly Arthur was silent. He looked at Merlin. Merlin smiled sadly at him, then reached up and touched his face. His magic flared, bleeding gold into his eyes, and then they were pulled into his memory, into the one that kindled the current argument.
The Second Truth I
“And that was ‘Pompeii’ by Bastille,” Merlin said as the last notes faded away. “I have to admit, I’m really starting to like that song, Gwaine.”
“Knew you would,” said Gwaine. “You’ve always been a sucker for catchy lyrics.”
Merlin resisted rolling his eyes only because it would be a wasted effort. Instead, he said, “Yeah, yeah, we can’t all have your ever-changing tastes. You’re worse than a teenage girl in the middle of a boyband boom.”
“Merlin,” Arthur said from his seat in the corner of the room. “What am I doing here?”
“You’re here to see the truth. Now shut up, watch, and listen,” Merlin said.
“I prefer to say that I have varied taste,” said Gwaine.
Freya tapped the soundproof glass to let Merlin know that they had to go to commercial. She winked at him when he nodded. “On that note, here’s a message from your favorite restaurant, Gwaine.”
“Oooo, Abelarde’s has a spot?” Gwaine asked.
“No,” Merlin said. “Your other favorite restaurant.”
“Eloise?”
“Got it in two.” Merlin hit the button to let the next wave of commercials play and quickly took off his headphones. “I’ll be right back,” he said.
“Sure, get a little one-on-one in with our producer. I know who her favorite is,” Gwaine said. But he too winked, and Merlin knew that he would cover if this would take longer than the few minutes they had free.
“Was I jealous of the wrong person?” Arthur asked after he had stood up to follow Merlin.
Merlin rolled his eyes as he opened the door. “You were jealous for no reason, Arthur.”
Arthur didn’t have time to answer. They were in the outer booth, and Freya was already walking towards them.
“Merlin,” said Freya. “Nimueh has just passed along the location of a family that’s going to be taken tonight. We need you to help them escape from town.”
“Can’t someone else do it? Arthur’s starting to get suspicious,” Merlin said.
“They’re next door neighbors to Uther Pendragon. We want the best to help them in case Uther has any surprises in store. And you are the best.”
Merlin sighed. Sometimes he really hated his sense of responsibility. Because he knew that he was going to say, “Yes, I’ll do it.”
“Great,” said Freya. “Here’s their address and any other relevant details Nimueh could find.”
She handed him a small stack of paper, charmed so that only those with magic could read it. He picked it up and carried it back into the booth.
“Give it to me,” said Arthur.
Merlin sighed but tapped the papers so Arthur could read them and handed them over. It would give Arthur something to do for the next half hour. He still had a show to finish before he could even think of rescuing some strangers.
********
It had taken Merlin an hour after his radio show ended to figure out exactly how he was going to rescue Gilli Marten and his daughter Evelyn. He spent that time in a coffee shop around the corner from the station, reading up on the details of their lives and wracking his brain for every little detail he could remember about Uther’s place. Of course, most of this time now was spent arguing with Arthur. Surprisingly, he was okay with the rescuing part but had issues with the methods Merlin came up with.
Finally, Merlin had turned to Arthur and said, “Does it really matter what the best way is? The point is that I actually had a plan and went through with it. Isn’t it time to actually see what happened?”
“I guess,” said Arthur. “I just don’t want to think of you getting hurt.”
“Sometimes there’s nothing you can do about that,” Merlin said.
Merlin didn’t know if Arthur looked more sad or more concerned with that.
*********
In the end, Merlin’s plan was relatively simple. He simply called the family and asked them to have dinner at a restaurant in a location that Merlin knew would be easy to slip away from. He disguised his voice in case Uther had their phones tapped. As the head of the Sorcerer Investigation Unit and a well-known enemy of sorcerers, Uther had unlimited resources and a complete lack of boundaries when it came to violating the rights of said sorcerers.
When the family came to the restaurant, Merlin and Arthur watched them from across the street. Merlin felt a little like a creeper, but he knew the father—the only one who was confirmed to have magic—would easily perceive his message when it came written on the back of the check. He knew that the father would keep the rest of his family relatively calm.
For the most part, they were when they came out of the restaurant. They walked across the street and attempted to start their car. Merlin, disguised as someone else, drove over by them and offered his assistance. He and father pretended to work on the car before declaring it a failure. There was even a fake agreement for Merlin to take them home, after he had used his magic to destroy the engine so that their story would be plausible. It wouldn’t be the first time Uther had attempted to track down a do-gooder when holes appeared in their stories.
Merlin used his magic to create an illusion of the car. Merlin heard Arthur gasp as the car, looking identical to the one they were currently in, drove down the street to the family’s door.
Before Merlin could say anything, they were suddenly pulled back into Arthur’s mind.
The First Lie
“Shove over,” Arthur said.
Merlin moved his feet from the middle of the couch and curled them up underneath him.
Arthur sat down and put the bowl of popcorn between them before turning on the television.
“Can you believe this guy?” he said, gesturing to the television screen.
Merlin looked up and saw Edwin Pyre walking from the courtroom while reporters shoved microphones in his face and yelled out questions.
“Believe what?” Merlin asked. “It seems like a pretty open and shut case to me. He killed a lot of people, and they caught him red-handed. What’s so different about this?”
Arthur sighed. “He’s claiming that his parents’ disappearance at the hands of the SIU caused him to mentally break, so he can’t be responsible for his actions. He says that using magic was his way of being close to them. Like that’s a good enough excuse for murdering people!”
Merlin hummed. He knew better than to get into the different possible causes for people’s actions with Arthur.
“He’s just like every other sorcerer,” Arthur said.
Merlin looked up at that. “How so?”
“He uses any excuse to justify having something so dangerous.”
“Maybe it’s true,” Merlin said.
“Maybe he’s just desperate,” Arthur said.
Merlin didn’t say anything. He just watched the screen where the disfigured man made a passionate speech into a microphone.
“You would tell me, wouldn’t you?” Arthur asked.
“What?” said Merlin.
“You would tell me if you had magic.”
“I don’t have magic,” Merlin said.
The Second Truth
“You said you didn’t have magic,” said Arthur, his eyes still following the car illusion down the street.
“I know,” said Merlin. “I’m sorry.”
“Why?”
Merlin looked down for a moment. “Because I was scared. I love you, and I was terrified how you’d react.”
Arthur looked ashamed at that. “What made you think I would react badly?”
“Only every single time you’ve read about or watched on the television, you’ve made some comment on how evil sorcerers were. I spent the last three years believing that you hated them. Telling you about me would have meant that you might possibly not want me anymore.”
“That’s never going to happen,” Arthur said.
“Now’s not the time for such declarations,” Merlin said. He gestured to the family sitting in the backseat.
Arthur nodded. “Later,” he said.
Merlin had a strained smiled as he started up the car and drove down the street.
The Second Truth II
Getting the family out of the city and to the drop-off point, where Will and Freya met them in order to escort the family to a secret location, was the easy part. Much harder was sneaking back in, if only because the cameras at the city’s gates automatically scanned incoming vehicles to take note of missing people. The complex security system would then run a check on their identity and any possible illegal connections. Merlin waited until they were as close to the city as possible, and then let his magic flare to create the family in the backseats.
“I thought doing big magic like this made sorcerers exhausted,” Arthur said, looking at the still forms.
“For most of us, that is true,” said Merlin.
“But not you?”
“No, not me. I’m actually pretty powerful,” Merlin said.
“How powerful?”
“I’ve never found my limit,” Merlin said. “Arthur, do you notice something outside?”
Arthur looked out the window. “There’s no one else on the road,” he said.
“Crap,” said Merlin. He pressed the gas pedal down, and they drove into the city as fast as the car would let them.
“What’s going on?” Arthur asked. The buildings of the city were starting to crumble. At first, it was subtle, like a few grains of sand falling from someone’s hand. And then the buildings began to fall apart in great big boulders. It was all Merlin could do to dodge them.
“They found us,” Merlin said, “I don’t know how, but they’ve traced you back into me.”
“What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know,” Merlin said, exasperated. “I have no more ideas.”
“I have one,” said Arthur.
Merlin looked over at him. “What is it?”
“Take us back to the beginning,” Arthur said. “Back to when we first met.”
“How is that going to help us?”
“Just trust me,” Arthur said. “I know what I’m doing. I was raised by Uther Pendragon. I know how outwit a couple of sorcerers.”
Merlin nodded and closed his eyes. He gathered his magic and then let it out in a rush.
The Beginning
Merlin opened his eyes and saw the rough, gray surface of a stone table in front of him. He looked to the left and saw the sand and the surf. Of course he would end up here. Of course this was Arthur’s safe place.
“Merlin,” Arthur said.
He looked across the table and saw Arthur in his red sweatshirt, sipping some wine out of the silver goblet in his hand.
“So this is . . . “ Merlin breathed out.
“This is where we began, where everything began. I may have a million memories, but this has always been the most important. This has always been buried in the very deepest depths of my soul.”
Merlin looked across at Arthur and nodded. It was the same for him. For a second, all he could see was their first meeting at this very table. Gwen had dragged him to a party so she wouldn’t be forced to go alone. He had hung on the edges, at the tables nobody really noticed, uncomfortable with the crowds of people he didn’t know and didn’t really care to know. Then Arthur had set two goblets of wine on the table and sat across from him. Their conversation had been stilted at first, but it didn’t take long until they were in a fierce argument, trading barbs and surprisingly good-humored insults. Merlin had left feeling exhilarated. Arthur called that night, and their romance was born. This table was sacred in his memory.
“I don’t know if it’ll be enough to keep them away,” Merlin said.
“It will be. You will be,” Arthur said. He reached across the table and picked up Merlin’s hand. He smiled as he rubbed his thumb in circles.
Merlin began to return the smile, but before it was fully formed, he was ripped away.
“Meet me here when you’re done,” he thought he heard Arthur say as the world faded into black.
The Showdown
“What are you doing here?” a syrupy sweet voice said.
Merlin looked up from where he was lying on the cold ground. In front of him stood an old man clutching a staff with a turquoise stone at the top. Beside him stood a young woman with long blond curls. Merlin had never seen them in this much detail, his view of them before he went into Arthur’s mind more of a blur than solid images, but there was no mistaking the fact that this was Aulfric and Sophia.
“Saving Arthur,” he said. “I thought that would be obvious.”
“But why?” asked Sophia, clearly the leader in the interrogation.
“Have you been paying attention? Arthur’s been trying to erase me,” Merlin said, standing at the last sentence.
“If he’s so insistent on forgetting you, then why are you fighting so hard so he doesn’t?” Aulfric said.
“Because I know that you are after more than Arthur’s memory. I know that you are actually after Arthur’s soul.”
Aulfric laughed and immediately pointed his staff at Merlin. Merlin jumped, though not quick enough to keep the bottom of his shoes from being hit enough to smoke. Aulfric pointed the staff again, and again Merlin jumped out of the way. This time, when Aulfric raised the staff, Merlin was ready. His eyes flashed gold, and he whispered a spell that he had never learned, one that came from his very soul. A flash of lightening hit Aulfric’s hands, and the staff went flying. Merlin quickly caught it and, flashing his eyes again, said a spell that caused Aulfric to scream and burn into ashes.
Sophia stepped forward then, and Merlin could feel her anger draw power to her, her grief lending her even more strength. She inhaled, and he felt the moment when that power was the weakest, right before it became the strongest. Merlin pointed the staff at her and quickly said a spell. The power in it, combined with his own magic refracted and enhanced by the crystal cave, was enough to start her on fire. The surprise in her eyes as she burned was almost enough to make him feel guilty. Almost.
The Second Beginnin g
“What if he’s not here?” Merlin asked as Morgana and Gwen pushed him through the restaurant.
“He is,” said Morgana.
“How do you know? You said he hasn’t answered your calls yet.”
She sighed but still kept pushing him. “Because I know my brother. And I know that he will be here.”
Merlin rolled his eyes.
They were at the back door then, and the girls quickly pushed him through.
And there was Arthur, wearing his red sweatshirt and sitting at the stone table with two silver goblets of wine set out before him.
Merlin smiled and walked out to him. It was time to begin again.