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Jim Kirk got to his feet as the Amtrak Acela Express coasted to a stop inside Back Bay Station, and headed for the nearest set of doors. He’d been in Manhattan all week and couldn’t wait to get back home to his studio apartment in the South End.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Jim didn’t plan to stay long at his place. Sure, he’d empty his bags and stow them in his closet, but he’d be out the door and headed for his boyfriend’s apartment on Appleton Street as soon as he could. Never mind that he hadn’t slept in a familiar bed for four days and had at least two loads of laundry to do.
Jim smiled to himself as he stepped off the train and walked along the platform, his duffel over one shoulder and his messenger bag over the other. He’d grown into adulthood driving around wide open spaces of Iowa, but quickly adapted to public transportation after moving to Boston. Trains took him to and from work and to visit friends in different neighborhoods and suburban towns, and to beaches and woods when he didn’t feel like dealing with traffic and parking. And one wintery day while the city had been half buried under a near mountain of icy snow, Jim boarded a train and sat down beside Leonard McCoy, a man who’d changed Jim’s life.
Jim exited the station into a cool April afternoon and turned left onto Dartmouth Street. Six blocks later, he closed his front door behind him.
“Hello, Computer,” he said in an easy tone.
The Echo device on his tiny dining table pulsed blue and green as it woke up. “Hello, Jim,” it replied.
“Play ‘Driving at Night,’” Jim said and carried his bags further into the space as downtempo house music filtered through the air.
At most, Jim slept in the studio twice a week. He typically stopped in only for changes of clothes or to pick up the odd technical manual for work. And while he treated the apartment like a glorified storage unit, it was a nice little place. The building sat next to a small park on Warren Avenue and the studio’s sleek lines pleased his aesthetic sensibilities. It had a great kitchen and shared a roof deck with the other units, and Jim’s neighbors were both friendly and quiet when they needed to be. None of those things mattered to Jim, though, because Leonard’s apartment was where he really wanted to be.
So why haven’t you moved in with him? a little voice in Jim’s head asked.
Jim furrowed his brow. That little voice was a pain in the ass. Partly because it sounded like his friend, Carol, who never, ever cut Jim any slack. But more so because it frequently pestered Jim about thoughts he’d prefer to ignore. Like why he was still renting this apartment when he should probably move in with Leonard, for instance.
I could broach the topic of moving in together , Jim thought as he shrugged off his jacket. He and Leonard had been dating for almost a year. Jim certainly didn’t want to be with anyone else. Leonard was kind of perfect in all the ways Jim needed him to be, too. Hell, he even put up with Jim calling him “Bones” in public, despite the fact every one of their friends found the nickname goofy. And anytime Jim looked down the road to where he saw himself in the future, Leonard was there beside him.
“Computer, call Bones at home,” Jim said. He squatted down to unpack the duffel as the music cut off and the Echo dialed Leonard’s number. He felt mild surprise when Leonard’s voicemail picked up a half-minute later. “Computer, hang up,” he said, rather than leave a voicemail.
Leonard had promised to cook dinner so it was certainly possible he’d gotten distracted by the task or maybe gone out to buy wine. Something Jim should have offered to do.
Ugh.
Quickly, Jim carried the bundle of clothes to the washer and set it in the basket with the rest of the laundry he needed to wash. “Computer, call Bones at mobile,” he said.
“Okay,” the Echo replied.
Two rings sounded over the speaker before a familiar and somewhat harried voice spoke. “Hey, Jim.”
“Hey, big guy.” Jim moved to the closet to change his clothes. “You on your way home? I’m getting ready to come over and thought I’d call and ask if you want me to pick up a bottle of wine.”
Leonard sighed. “Damn. I should have called earlier, but I got distracted.”
Jim frowned slightly. “Uh-oh. I don’t like the sound of that. You’re not stuck at work, are you?” Leonard’s job as an orthopedic surgeon at Brigham and Women’s Hospital kept him busy. Sometimes too busy, Jim thought, especially when Leonard was so exhausted after a sixteen-hour shift he could barely see straight.
“No, but I’ve got a non-work related problem to deal with right now,” Leonard replied.
“What’s up?” Jim pulled a gray fine gauge pullover from the closet. “Anything I can do?” he asked, then paused as the line stayed quiet. He turned toward the Echo when the silence lengthened. “Bones?”
“It’s Elliott,” Leonard said at last, and now Jim heard something else in his voice: concern. “He came out of the dog park with a wound on his paw and it’s deep. I didn’t wanna leave it until tomorrow.”
Jim stuck the pullover back in the closet. Elliott was a big, black and white Shepherd-mix dog and one of Leonard’s favorite life forms on the planet. One of Jim’s, too. His stomach tightened at the idea of Leonard hauling an injured Elliott around on his own.
“Where are you guys?” he asked.
“The vet’s office on Chandler Street,” Leonard replied, “but you don’t need to come down here—”
“I can be there in ten minutes,” Jim said over him. “Do you need me to bring anything?”
“Naw, I’m okay. Well … could I borrow a hoodie? Mine looks like crap right now.”
“You bet. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Jim went back to pulling things from the closet.
Leonard sighed again. “Thanks, Jim. I owe you one.”
Jim’s frown deepened as he swiftly changed into some older jeans and a t-shirt, and a weathered Iowa State sweatshirt. The idea that Leonard would feel beholden to Jim for anything didn’t sit right. Friends might owe each other favors, but Jim and Leonard were much more than friends. Then again, a real gentleman lurked inside Leonard and he could be a bit old fashioned. He’d probably be on the lookout to do something chivalrous for Jim in return now because that’s just how Leonard was.
He also loves you, the voice in Jim’s head murmured .
Jim’s insides trembled a little as he tied his sneakers. That was true. Three months ago, Leonard had told Jim he loved him. While they were grocery shopping of all things. He’d chuckled when Jim’s eyes went wide and kissed him gently right there in the organic foods aisle, then told Jim not to panic. Leonard said Jim didn’t need to say it back, then put a bag of chia seed in the shopping cart, and they’d gone about the rest of their day like nothing had happened. Leonard hadn’t said the words out loud again, though sometimes Jim heard him whisper them under his breath when they were wrapped around each other in Leonard’s bed, making each other gasp and moan. They left Jim feeling crushed flat with awe every time.
Jim hadn’t said the words back, of course. He'd never been in love. In deep like, sure—that’s what he’d felt for his ex-boyfriend, Gary, a mix of fondness and lust and general enjoyment anytime they were together. Jim and Gary had been the best of friends the whole time they’d dated and they stayed close after their breakup. Their friendship continued after Gary started dating one of their mutual friends, Hikaru, too. Hell, Jim was better friends with both Gary and Hikaru now than before. The idea of not being with Leonard, though, or seeing him with another man … Jim’s stomach dropped at the thought.
Something in Jim had changed after Leonard had said he loved Jim. His heart had gone softer in the best possible way and become more open. Jim felt it now as he bundled another t-shirt and a dark gray hoodie for Leonard into his bag and headed for the door. It was there when he met Leonard’s smile. When Jim kissed him and tickled Leonard’s ribs to make him laugh. When Leonard made Jim his favorite foods for dinner and kicked his ass playing Halo . When Leonard came home from a long shift and fell asleep beside Jim on the couch. When Jim slid inside Leonard and made him come so hard he couldn’t speak.
Is this love? Jim wondered. Was that the thing turning him inside out as he jogged four blocks to the vet’s office? The knowledge a man like Leonard could love him still stunned Jim. Leonard was one of the smartest, kindest, and most real people he’d ever met, and Jim sometimes wondered what Leonard saw in him. Sure, Jim had a great job and was smart as hell, and he had a spectacular ass, if he said so himself. However, he was nowhere near to being a real adult yet. Not like Leonard.
But maybe … maybe that wasn’t entirely true. Jim licked his lips. Leonard said often enough that Jim was more grown up and capable than he gave himself credit for. Maybe Jim’s doubts about himself were just that—doubts and not reality.
Jim’s inner musings screeched to a halt the moment he stepped into the vet’s office. Leonard sat on a bench in the otherwise empty waiting room, and he glanced up at the sound of the door closing behind Jim. His dark, normally neatly styled hair was a mess, and he looked tired and worried as he stood. Even so, he gave Jim a small, crooked smile and his expression told Jim Leonard was really glad to see him.
Jim crossed the space in five steps. He wrapped Leonard up in a hug and closed his eyes when Leonard squeezed him back hard.
“Hey, Jim,” Leonard murmured.
“Hey. How’s the Wonder Dog?” Jim asked. Fuck, he’d missed this. He pressed a kiss to Leonard’s cheek before he pulled back enough to meet his gaze. Only then did he notice smears of blood and what looked like dirt on Leonard’s army green hoodie, as well as an abrasion on his chin and a smudge of bruising around it. “What the heck happened to you?”
Leonard gave Jim a wry smile. “I’m okay—the blood’s not mine. The scrape’s from Tuesday. Fell off my board, but it was nothing some Tylenol and a little antiseptic couldn’t fix.”
Jim raised a brow. “I leave you guys alone for less than a week and everything goes to hell in a handbasket.” He pushed down the urge to grumble when Leonard rolled his eyes. Leonard loved his skateboards and he was good on them—really good. He always wore pads, guards, and a helmet, but even they couldn’t keep him one-hundred percent unscathed when he took the rare fall. And while Jim didn’t like that, he knew better than to really bitch about it. Especially right now.
“What’s going on with Elliot?” he asked again.
“Dr. Ling said he should be okay with a couple of staples and a bandage,” Leonard replied. A frown pulled at his features. He stepped back only to tug Jim down on to the bench beside him. “The wound is deep but the edges are clean, so we think he stepped on some glass or maybe a piece of sharp metal. I don’t know.”
He ran a hand over his hair and pursed his lips. “We were at the dog park on Washington Street. I didn’t see it happen and I don’t remember hearing him make any weird noises that would have tipped me off. I didn’t even notice he was hurt until he came over and I saw he was limping. I had some water with me, so I cleaned the paw and checked it out. Decided to bring him here when I saw how deep it was.”
“Sounds like there’s nothing you could have done.” Jim rubbed Leonard's back. “We should post a note at the dog park to give other people a heads-up.”
“Megan was there with Charis, ‘n she said she’d do it,” Leonard replied. He and Elliott had met Megan and her Australian Shepherd-Malamute mix shortly after moving to the South End, and they met regularly for doggy play dates. Leonard also suspected Elliott was a little bit in love with Charis, and the glee in his gaze when he’d made the declaration had tickled Jim to no end.
Leonard’s big, hazel-green eyes held regret right now, though. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you about dinner,” he said. “But I got everything ready before I took Elliott out for a walk and it won’t take long to get it going once we’re back at my place.”
“Oh, God, Bones. Don’t worry about dinner.”
“But you just got back and you’ve been on a train all afternoon.”
“The ride was only three-and-half hours, and I can wait a little while longer to eat.” Jim shrugged. “I ate a Clif Bar on the way up, too, so it’s not like I’m about to fade away to nothing.”
Leonard scowled gently. “You just might.”
His muttered response made Jim grin. Leonard was always after Jim for not eating enough and clearly today would be no exception.
“Why don’t you go wash up and change,” Jim said, his voice pitched low to soothe. He undid the flap on his bag and pulled out the t-shirt and hoodie he’d packed. “We can talk about the logistics of dinner and how we’re going to get your giant dog back to your apartment after you’re done.”
“All right.” The corners of Leonard’s lips twitched up in another small smile. “Thanks for this. And for coming to meet me, too. I missed you, Iowa.” He leaned in to press a kiss against Jim’s mouth and when he pulled back, Leonard's eyes shone.
~oOo~
Leonard insisted on carrying Elliott home to keep the stress off his stapled and bandaged paw, while Jim toted the bag of antibiotics and changes of bandage. They drew lots of looks and sympathetic comments from passersby, but Elliott’s sweet, easygoing nature shone through any discomfort he felt, which made the trip less burdensome. Leonard was clearly spent by the time they’d traveled the three-and-a-half blocks to his building, however. He was nearly panting as they climbed the steps and he grinned wearily as Jim unlocked the door and ushered them in.
“Guess I can skip going to the gym tomorrow,” Leonard said. He chuckled when Elliott licked his face. “Gah, no.”
Jim shut the door behind them. “You’re going to need a hot shower and a massage. And maybe a chiropractor,” he added when Leonard squatted to set Elliott down and uttered a grunt. Jim immediately dropped his bag on the floor and stepped closer to grab Leonard’s elbow and help him straighten back up.
“Fucking hell. You are heavy, big dog.” Leonard scritched behind Elliott’s ears and the dog made a rumbling noise of contentment.
Jim smiled at them both. “How about you wash up while I order us some food, Bones?”
“You know, this is the second time you’ve asked me to get clean tonight, kid.” Leonard sniffed. “You’re gonna give me a fucking complex.”
“Please,” Jim said. “You stink like dog park and you’re bruised and covered in white hair, but you’re still the best thing I’ve seen all week.”
Elliott’s long tail thumped on the floor and Leonard raised a brow to retort, but Jim pulled him into a kiss before he could speak. Leonard stilled and drew in a sharp breath, but then he brought his hands up to grasp Jim’s waist and his mouth opened, hot and wet and so goddamned good. Heat flashed under Jim’s skin. He forced himself to break the kiss and press his forehead to Leonard’s.
“Missed you, Bones,” he murmured.
Elliott uttered a low woof then, and they both glanced down and laughed.
“We missed you, too,” Leonard said, and dropped a hand to the dog’s head again. “You can love all over Jim while I get your food and medicine ready,” he told Elliot. “And then I am gonna shower because Jim’s got a point—I smell worse than you right now and that’s just not right.”
Jim spent the next ten minutes fawning over the dog while Leonard got his food ready and hid a dose of antibiotics inside a marshmallow. Once Leonard was headed for the shower, Jim dashed out to an Asian gastropub on the next block and returned laden down with dim sum, noodles, and fried rice.
He and Leonard caught up with each other over dinner while Elliott snoozed in a corner of the couch with his favorite stuffed toy and his purple bandaged paw tucked up close to his nose. Pleasure thrummed through Jim as he watched Leonard speak, the sensation both thrilling and familiar. He always felt like this around Leonard, content and alive and filled with more desire than he knew what do with. He blinked when Leonard suddenly stopped talking, and realized he’d long ago lost the thread of their conversation.
Leonard cocked a brow at Jim. “You haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?”
“Not for a couple of minutes, no,” Jim replied. He felt not one shred of guilt as he grinned.
A slow, knowing smile spread over Leonard’s face. He set down his chopsticks and lay a hand on Jim’s thigh, and the simple, wordless gesture sent a bolt of lust straight through Jim. He pushed his plate away and his chair back, and quickly climbed into Leonard’s lap, straddling Leonard’s waist with his legs. Jim felt drunk as he kissed him, though they’d only had a couple of glasses of wine with their food. His cock hardened when Leonard uttered a low, rumbling sound.
“Mmm, Jim.”
Jim kissed Leonard deeply and heat flooded through him as their tongues slid together. He ground down into Leonard and growled when their erections met through their jeans. Leonard reached up under the hem of Jim’s shirt to grasp at him, his touch hot and rough. Jim bit back a groan.
They only kissed a moment more before Leonard was urging Jim to his feet. They left their plates behind and climbed the stairs to Leonard's bedroom where they quickly peeled off one another’s clothes. Leonard chuckled when Jim pulled him in for another scorching kiss.
“Want you, Bones.”
“Want you, too. So much, baby.”
Jim’s chest ached at the murmured endearment. He walked Leonard backward until his calves hit the bed, then tumbled them both down onto the mattress. Their laughter faded into sighs and groans as Jim reached down to palm Leonard’s cock.
Leonard shuddered. He dragged Jim even closer and arched up into Jim’s body. His kisses were gentler now but no less intense, and the longer they went on, the more they set Jim on fire from the inside out. He met Leonard’s stare when they finally broke apart, and the world came to a standstill around them.
“Love you, Bones” Jim whispered. He bit his lip at the passion he saw in Leonard’s face. Desire. Need. Love.
“I love you, too, Jim.” Leonard reached up to touch Jim’s lips. “Love you so much,” he whispered, and his breath caught as Jim dipped his head and took Leonard’s first two fingers into his mouth.
Jim sucked hard at the sensitive pads of Leonard’s fingertips, and his cock ached at Leonard’s groan. Jim withdrew his hand and quickly pushed himself to his knees. He reached for the lube they kept in the nightstand, though his gaze stayed on Leonard, and lingered on golden skin gone pale from another long winter and hard planes of muscle. Just looking at Leonard made Jim’s mouth water.
“Fuck, you are gorgeous,” Jim whispered.
He flipped open the bottle of lube and wet his fingers, then tossed it down. Using one knee, he nudged Leonard’s legs open a bit wider and reached with one hand for Leonard’s cock. Leonard moaned outright and the sound made goosebumps rise along Jim’s skin.
Leonard scrabbled for the bottle of lube. He wet his own fingers and just the expression on his face had Jim stretching out beside him again. Jim’s skin tingled and desire pooled in his gut when Leonard took him in hand and ran his thumb over the head of Jim’s cock.
"God." Jim gasped. "Feels so good."
"Missed this,” Leonard told him. He dipped his head to suck at Jim’s collarbone as they pumped each other with lazy strokes. “Missed touching you. Missed hearing you when we're like this.”
Leonard’s eyes blazed when he pulled back to stare at Jim. “Want to taste you,” he said, and used his hands to urge Jim back on to the mattress.
Jim let go of Leonard as he turned himself to face Jim’s feet. A crushing sense of need filled Jim’s chest as Leonard settled back down and took hold of Jim’s hips. Leonard’s cock stood rigid and proud against his abdomen, only inches from Jim’s face, and Jim couldn’t wait to get his mouth on him.
He pressed his face into the juncture between Leonard’s hip and groin and licked the hot skin, breathing in Leonard’s scent. His own cock twitched as he ran his tongue over Leonard’s muscles, and he closed his eyes when Leonard took him in hand. Leonard licked Jim's cockhead and Jim bucked helplessly into the touch, curse falling from his lips. His breaths changed, going short and harsh as he pulled back enough to open his lips over Leonard and swallow him down.
Jim’s bones turned to liquid fire as he and Leonard moved together. His heart thundered in his ears when Leonard grabbed his ass and wordlessly urged Jim to thrust. Jim drove down hard with a growl, his nerves bristling at Leonard’s strangled groan. He wrapped his arms and legs tight around Leonard, and the greedy buzz inside him grew as Leonard thrust home.
Blindly, Jim brought one hand up and slid two slick fingers along the cleft of Leonard’s ass.
Leonard pulled off him with a low cry. “Oh, fuck.”
Jim hummed in response, and the vibration drew a moan from Leonard. Tension jolted through Leonard’s body as Jim circled his tight ring of muscle with a teasing touch, and he swallowed Jim back down. Leonard thrust harder into Jim’s mouth, his movements desperate and his moans coming nonstop. Those sounds made Jim's hands shake and his groin tighten.
When Jim finally breached Leonard, he sunk two fingers deep and curled them just so. He held on tight as Leonard’s body stiffened, his shout muffled by Jim’s cock in his mouth. The spasm in Leonard’s throat set Jim off, and his orgasm tore through with a force that sent him soaring.
Jim’s brain went mostly offline. He floated without thought, his nerves singing and his body still moving on autopilot. The pleasure that rolled through him locked his limbs tight around Leonard and Jim only surfaced again when Leonard pulled off and trembled against him.
Jim turned himself around and gathered Leonard up, then held him close until he calmed and the sweat on their bodies cooled. He knew they needed to get clean and eventually clear away what remained of their dinner, but he lingered instead and smiled when Leonard made no move to pull away either.
“You ever think about living together?” Jim asked a while later as Leonard drew lazy shapes on Jim’s torso with his fingers. Leonard’s hand stuttered to a near stop before he resumed the motion.
“Sometimes,” Leonard replied. “More so now ‘cause you’re here so often and seem okay sharing space with me.” He paused before he spoke again. “I also wonder if maybe I shouldn’t push my luck.”
Jim furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”
Leonard stopped drawing and rolled up on to one elbow to stare down at Jim, his expression somber. “I think I’ve got a good thing going with you. Really good. And I hate the idea of losing that. Or of disappointing you the way I did Joss.” He licked his lips as Jim rolled up too.
“I’m not Joss, Bones.”
Leonard smiled gently. “I know.”
“And you could never disappoint me. At least, not the way you’re thinking.” Jim’s heart ached at the uncertainty he read in Leonard’s expression. Knowing he still hurt over a past relationship and he took the blame for its failure on himself. That he doubted his own worth … well. That was just like Leonard—he had a tendency to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. He and Jim sometimes had that in common. More importantly, however, Leonard clearly still didn’t understand how special Jim thought he was.
“I do get what you mean about not wanting to push your luck,” Jim said. “At least a little bit.”
Leonard raised his brows. “Yeah?”
“Sure. Take me for example,” Jim said. “I’m a lucky bastard and I know it. Arguably luckier than most. I moved here because Gary asked me to. I had no prospects or contacts but I found a great job in my field working for a cool company. My boss is fantastic. And while things didn’t work out with Gary, we stayed friends and he introduced me to some of the coolest people I’ve ever known.”
He rubbed Leonard’s hip through the sheet with his palm. “All that happened before I ended up on a commuter train I’d never ridden, seated next to the hottest guy in the car. And the hot guy not only talked to me—despite the fact I looked like day old garbage—he offered me a peppermint when I said I felt motion sick and didn’t bitch me out when I fell asleep and snored.” Jim grinned as the tips of Leonard’s ears flushed pink.
“You certainly know how to find the silver lining in a cloud,” Leonard said, his voice low and pleased.
“Or maybe the clouds are silver to begin with,” Jim replied. He grinned when Leonard rolled his eyes. “And maybe I shouldn’t keep pushing for more and instead be content with all of the great things my life has to offer.” He laid one hand over Leonard’s where it rested on the bed. “I want more, though. With you.”
Leonard stayed silent for a long moment, wonder in his expression and stars in his eyes. “I want it too,” he said at last, his voice rough and tender. Leonard turned his hand up so his palm met Jim’s and wound their fingers together. He kissed Jim, sweet and slow, and the press of his lips made Jim’s heart feel too big for his chest.
Yeah, Jim was in love all right. And absolutely nothing about that knowledge scared him.