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//
Working for KFI, for the foundation, for Katrin – again – is less awkward than Anni had feared. They manage to mainly avoid each other and have civilized, strictly business-centred (even if slightly tense) conversations whenever they absolutely have to. Sometimes she still catches herself letting her gaze wander for a second or two (sometimes for half a minute if she's really letting herself go), watching Katrin behind her desk, and sometimes she’d look up then and their eyes would meet and Anni wishes her heart rate wouldn’t pick up every single time this happens, but – she’s doing okay. Mainly.
She’ll get over this.
//
“I don’t get you, really,” Maren tells her and she keeps pulling things from shelves and cupboards, putting them into a box labelled ‘Alex’ and honestly – they shouldn’t even be talking about her now, about her and Anni and whatever this is between them – when Maren has way more important things to worry about.
“It doesn’t matter,” Katrin says then, “It’s not important.”
“Come on, Katrin. It clearly is important.”
“Not compared to what you’re going through,” Katrin insists and wraps a weird looking mug into a piece of newspaper, putting it into the ‘Alex’-box.
Maren sighs. “Maybe I’d be happy to talk and think about something else for a change.”
Katrin looks at her friend then who looks exhausted, drained and just downright sad and – God – it’s breaking her heart, really. She wishes she were a little better at this whole cheering-up-thing.
“Should we go out for dinner later?” she tries, “There’s this new restaurant in Kreuzberg and—“
“You’re deflecting,” Maren actually smirks a little at this, “Now I know it’s bad. You and Anni. What’s going on?”
//
“Come on, Anni!”
“I’m not in the mood.”
She really, really isn’t. Why can’t her friends just let her be for once, Jesus Christ?
“It’s the Mauerflower-Festival,” Sunny says, “It’s going to be le-gen-dary!”
Anni snorts at her friend’s genuine excitement. But still. “Why can’t you just go without me?”
“Because it’s no fun without you,” Sunny says.
“Because we love you,” Lilly offers, nodding seriously, “And if you don’t go we won’t go either.”
Great.
“That’s called emotional blackmail,” she tells them and throws a pillow in their direction when all they do is laugh at this.
//
It’s not so bad, Anni has to admit this. In fact, it might’ve indeed been a good idea to go to the festival. The atmosphere is fantastic, the drinks are good, the music is great – she’s not going to call it legendary yet, okay, but it’s truly not bad.
Also. Rosa is here which is, well, a plus. Definitely.
“So,” Anni hands Rosa the drink she just got her from the bar, “We’ve got to thank you for this, uh?” and she nods her head towards the stage and the people enjoying themselves in front of it, “Mrs Lehmann, the big spender.”
Rosa laughs. “Well, maybe doing nice things for people is my new thing.”
“An altruistic big spender,” Anni says and her eyes widen mockingly, “Be still my heart.”
“Oh, shut up,” Rosa laughs.
Her and Rosa, they still have this connection – a sexual one, mainly, which has the flirty banter flow easily between them. There’s nothing heavy hanging in the air, no giant elephant in the room, no confusing feelings making her head spin and Anni just wants to indulge in this tonight.
“Let’s go somewhere,” she says then. She is smirking, but – she’s serious. And Rosa knows this. She knows her, still.
“I should probably stay here.”
Anni rolls her eyes. “You paid for it. It’s going well. You aren’t needed here anymore.”
Rosa laughs. “So charming.”
“You know me,” Anni shrugs and grins at the other woman, “It’s my strong suit.”
//
“I’m still not sure I understand what’s holding you back.”
They’re walking down the steps at ‘Mauerwerk’ after discussing this issue for way too long at Maren’s apartment. Katrin told her about Neuruppin, about the dinner, about that car drive back and the incident on the parking lot where she’d clearly lost control over the situation a little.
“You’ve been with someone younger before,” Maren adds when Katrin doesn’t reply, “It’s clearly not the woman-thing, is it?”
Katrin rolls her eyes but shakes her head.
“So? What is it?”
Katrin can’t even put a finger on this herself. There is something about Anni that just… gets to her. Her open mind, this cheeky boldness that gets her slightly frustrated and annoyed but at the same time entertains and excites her in a way no one has been able to in quite some time now. No one since Till. Katrin sighs.
They’ve finally found a table close enough to the stage to still hear the band play and watch the people dance but far enough from the crowd to still hold a conversation. A conversation Katrin doesn’t even want to have, but her friend is being relentless today.
“You still didn’t answer my question.”
Katrin sighs, again. “Maren, honestly, can’t we just… unwind for a while?”
Her friend gives her an unconvinced look, but then she shrugs, tells her “Okay” and they clink glasses.
//
The unwinding process goes pretty well, Katrin thinks, until she spots them. At the bar. Chatting and drinking and sitting way too close. Anni is saying something then that has Rosa shake her head and smile in that way that she, Katrin, probably does sometimes, too, when Anni drops one of her outrageous, cheeky comments. She swallows at the sight and the inner turmoil coming with it and, damn, she seriously cannot handle this right now.
She shakes herself out of it then, turns away from the pair to look at Maren again just to find her friend looking straight at her, a smirk on her face.
“So. Are you going to let this happen again?” Maren asks her.
“Let what happen?”
“You know what I mean.”
She does know, obviously. She’s been there before, watching Rosa come onto Anni right in front of her. Several times, actually, it’s like some horrible pattern she’s confronted with over and over again.
“Anni can do whatever she wants,” Katrin states.
“Right. And what do you want?”
//
“Maybe you’re right,” Rosa smirks at her, taking a sip of her wine, “I suppose I should go.”
Anni gives her a confused look.
“Before Mrs Flemming loses her composure completely.”
“What?”
Rosa nods her head towards something - or someone, as it turns out – behind Anni and when she turns around she spots Maren and Katrin standing at a table in a dimly lit corner of the room. Katrin is watching her but turns away the second Anni’s eyes meet hers.
Anni takes a gulp from her beer. “My boss is here, so?”
“She’s jealous. Again.”
“Bullshit.”
“You should go for it,” Rosa says, ignoring Anni’s interjection, and reaches for her purse, putting a handful of notes on the counter.
“Rosa—“
“Go for it,” the other woman repeats and she grabs her handbag, leans in to press a kiss to Anni’s cheek and then she’s gone.
//
“Hey.”
Anni visibly jumps at this and spins around to spot Katrin standing in the doorway.
She hadn’t followed Rosa’s advice but had gone to the bathroom instead which – surprisingly enough – had been completely empty. She’d splashed some water in her face to cool down and to wash away that—she hadn’t even been sure. Anger? At Rosa, for constantly assuming, for constantly pushing her, teasing her. For rekindling that flicker of hope that she’d so successfully squashed after Katrin had turned her down.
“Hey,” Anni eventually responds. She tries holding Katrin’s gaze, nonchalantly, giving her best not to let her inner chaos show, but it’s hard. Katrin looks great and Anni scolds herself for even noticing.
“I thought you’d left with Rosa,” Katrin says then.
Anni huffs. “I was going to.”
Katrin’s gaze wavers at this, something like hurt or insecurity seems to be crossing her face, but it’s so fleeting that Anni isn’t sure if maybe she just imagined it. She probably did. She isn’t going to make assumptions ever again.
“So. Are you and Mrs Lehmann still—“
“Still what? Fucking?” Anni snaps. God, she’s getting angry again, this is just too much. “Why on Earth would you care?”
Katrin swallows at her outburst, but says nothing.
“That’s what I thought,” Anni sneers. She pushes herself off the wall she’s been leaning against and walks towards the door. She’s just about to squeeze past the other woman to get the Hell out of here when Katrin grabs her wrist.
“Anni, wait.“
They’re standing so close now that Anni finds it somehow hard to breathe. She hates how much Katrin’s proximity affects her still, how much she wants to throw all caution and with it her pride to the wind and pull her flush against her body and—
She needs to get herself back under control.
Katrin loosens the grip on her wrist, lets her thumb sweep over the inner side of it, apologetically, softly.
God.
“I do care,” Katrin says, “I hate this. You and her together. It drives me crazy.”
Anni swallows. “Why?”
Katrin gives her a pleading look, but Anni won’t let her get away with this. She just watches her, goose bumps rising still because Katrin won’t stop caressing her wrist.
“Because I want you,” Katrin whispers then and she's pressing closer, her lips almost brushing against Anni's, “Because I don’t want to share.” And then she kisses Anni.
//
The kiss is mind-blowing. Even better than the one in the car, because now she can feel all of Katrin against her. There's a leg pressed firmly between hers and Anni can slowly feel herself losing grip on that very last bit of control that stops her from rubbing up against it, because - uh - in the very back of her mind she is still aware where they are - in public, basically, not even in a bathroom stall, but right there, in plain sight, where absolutely anyone could just walk in on them.
Katrin seems to either have forgotten or - and somehow this thought turns Anni on even more - she doesn't give a damn, because she's still kissing her, biting her lower lip, she's sliding her hands underneath Anni's shirt and up and down her naked back. Anni lets out a groan when she feels Katrin's nails scratching her skin, marking her, possibly, and fuck - she so shouldn't be going there. She can feel her knees buckle at the thought alone.
"Katrin," she tries between kisses, but falls silent again when the other woman moves her lips away from Anni's mouth to kiss her neck instead. It feels so good, she's so ready to just let this happen, but they can't do this, can they? "We should probably take this elsewhere," she tries again, panting, "I mean, I-" I mean, I would also let you fuck me right here, but God.
Katrin pulls back at that. Not far, they're still standing close, her hands are still beneath Anni's shirt, but far enough so Anni can breathe again for a second.
"Uh, yeah," Katrin says, "I'm sorry, I kind of-"
"God, no," Anni interrupts her, "Don't be. It's just- you have no idea what you're doing to me. A few seconds longer and-" Anni trails off then and Katrin has the audacity to blush furiously at this which really is incredible all things considered.
Anni leans in to kiss her again, softly, to reassure her, but also because she absolutely has to. "Let's go," she says, reaches for Katrin's hand and pulls her with her out of the room.
//