Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Come on, you guys have to come. This is my first solo gig,” Simon said, continuing his attempt to persuade his friends.

“You mean your first gig since you broke up with Maureen? Broke up having two meanings, in case you didn’t catch that,” Alec remarked.

This earned laughs from Clary and Izzy and an eyeroll from Simon.

Simon turned to glare at Alec coldly, to which he responded by simply shrugging innocently and taking a sip from his water bottle with a slight smirk.

Maureen had been Simon’s former bandmate. They dated very briefly, and Simon broke things off as soon as he fully came to terms with the fact that he had feelings for someone else. That was both the end of their “relationship” and Rock Solid Panda, their band.

“Okay, all jokes aside, guys, I️ actually do think we should go,” Izzy chimed in.

Simon made a gesture of agreement. He knew he was making some progress with his friends, especially as if Izzy was going she would definitely drag Clary there with her.

“I don’t know. Si, you know I️ love you, but do you really think going to one of Camille’s parties is a good idea?” Clary asked.

Izzy turned toward Clary with the same pleading expression that she knew she was always a sucker for.

“C’mon! You never wanna go out and do anything fun with me. Please,” Izzy pouted.

Clary was prepared to counteract Izzy’s statement, however, she did kind of make a good point. Yes, the two of them hung out all the time, but Clary had perhaps grown a little too content with just staying in with Izzy and it had been a while since the two of them actually went out on a date (not that Clary would really consider a rager at Camille’s house a real date).

Clary rolled her eyes and slumped her shoulders dramatically.

“Fine,” she grunted.

This caused Izzy to grin from ear to ear and plant a loud kiss on Clary’s cheek.

Simon then turned toward Alec, as he was the last one at the table left to convince. He raised an eyebrow playfully.

“I️ bet Magnus will be there,” Simon said.

Alec looked down at his food to hide the fact that he was blushing.

“I️ guess it can’t hurt to check out the place for an hour or two,” he mumbled.

Izzy then made some taunting “ooo” sounds at her brother accompanied by some playful shoulder movements, to which he responded by glaring at her and rolling his eyes.

Clary giggled a little bit and Simon smiled.

“Okay, great! So, it’s settled. We’re all going,” he summarized.

The three nodded.

—

“No, no way. I’m not going,” Raphael protested.

Much to Raphael’s dismay, Magnus and Lily had joined forces in pursuit of trying to get Raphael to loosen up a little bit for once.

Raphael then turned to Magnus before continuing.

“Besides, I️ thought you hated Camille.”

“That is very much true, but I️ will not miss out on a perfectly good party because of it,” Magnus replied.

Raphael simply rolled his eyes, something he did quite frequently.

“Come on. I️ just talked to Camille and your boyfriend is performing,” Lily said.

He glared at her.

“He is not my boyfriend. He’s just a…I don’t know…we’re talking, but that’s it,” Raphael promptly corrected.

This caused Magnus to smirk which annoyed Raphael tremendously.

“You know, it won’t kill you to ditch the whole emo thing for one night,” Magnus remarked.

Raphael’s eyes narrowed.

“First of all, I️ am not emo. Second of all, I️ will agree to one hour exactly if it means ending this conversation,” he said.

Magnus and Lily both looked at each other, nonverbally deciding whether or not they would settle for the one hour. Lily shrugged and Magnus sighed.

Magnus then turned back to Raphael.

“You, Mr. Santiago, are absolutely no fun. But fine, one hour, and no less!” Magnus said.

And so, it was decided. They were all going to Camille’s party, entirely ignorant of the kind of night that they were really in for.

Chapter Text

The party was in full swing. People were gathered outside in the backyard of Camille’s house - or mansion, rather, dancing, drinking, and talking around the pool as it was too cold to actually get in it.

Even through the crowd of people, as Simon sung and played his electric guitar, his eyes couldn’t help but wander to Raphael. Somehow his dark hair and honey colored skin looked even more dazzling in the moonlight. At first it wasn’t even completely one sided as Raphael watched Simon and the two of them even made eye contact a few times through the lenses of Simon’s glasses.

However, Simon grew rather disappointed when he noticed Camille approach Raphael. She was her usual self, all touchy and flirtatious. Obviously, Simon couldn’t actually hear anything that either of them were saying both due to his own performance and the distance between them, but he noticed the way that Camille touched Raphael’s arm which was covered by a black leather jacket and looked into his intense dark eyes.

In the end, he didn’t spend too much time looking at them as it wasn’t long before the two of them snuck off inside together, which felt like a stab in the heart to Simon. The two of them weren’t exclusive and Raphael was free to do whatever - and whoever - he wants, and Simon fully recognized that. Still, that didn’t really make it hurt any less.

He tried to take his mind off of it by noticing other things, allowing his eyes to dart aimlessly around the crowd. Clary and Izzy were in the midst of a fully fledged makeout session. Alec was talking to Magnus, making Simon hopeful that things would go better for Alec with Magnus than they had for him with Raphael. Even as he attempted to be happy for them rather than being bitter, he could tell that it was going to be a long night for him.

…

Izzy and Alec’s adoptive brother, Jace, had also decided to come along with them. Being Jace, it didn’t take him a very long time to find trouble.

In his defense, it started out as fairly innocent. He managed to strike up a conversation with Maia Roberts, even despite her originally so politely giving him the instruction to “drop dead”.

Both slightly under the influence of alcohol but neither completely intoxicated, they both somehow got to talking about relationship drama, Jace’s being along the lines of “I️ sort of had a thing for my sister’s girlfriend” and Maia’s being along the lines of “my asshole ex boyfriend won’t leave me alone.”

The two of them smiled at one another, enjoying a moment of comfortable silence as they gazed into one another’s eyes. This was before Maia made the daring move of pressing her lips against Jace’s, and it wasn’t long before they found themselves in an intense Izzy and Clary level makeout session.

They were soon interrupted as Jace felt himself being pushed away from Maia by strong arms.

“What the hell, man?” he said to his attacker, who turned out to be Jordan Kyle, an exchange student from Australia.

Jordan began sizing him up, stepping closer to get completely in Jace’s face.

“Hands off my girl, mate,” he practically growled.

He then proceeded to shove Jace, not hard, but just enough to send a message.

“Hey!” Maia cut in, “I️ am not your girl. I️ told you I️ was done with you.”

Jordan then turned his attention toward Maia, who was fuming with anger. However, Jordan no longer looked particularly angry. His demeanor had shifted in an instant. He looked hurt and defeated more than anything else.

“C’mon baby, you know you don’t mean that,” he said, placing his hands on her arms.

Maia shook her head.

“Don’t call me baby!” Maia spat.

This riled Jordan up once again, and Maia could tell as he gripped tightly onto her arms.

She gasped.

“Stop it, Jordan, that hurts,” she said, with genuine fear in her eyes.

He flinched a bit and immediately let go.

He then interlaced his hands over his forehead and allowed his fingers to run through his long, wavy hair.

“Maia, I️ am so sorry,” he said softly. “Listen, can we please just talk?”

Maia rolled her eyes and looked at Jace, who nodded. She groaned.

“Ugh, fine, let’s go, but you better make it quick,” she said, before following him away from the crowd.

…

Camille pressed her lips against Raphael’s, which were still stained with her blood.

She then allowed her lips to wander to his jawline before down to his neck. When her mouth found his pulse point, she took a moment to simply relish in the pull of blood so close to her, taking in his intoxicating scent.

“I’m gonna hit Magnus where it really hurts,” she whispered.

She then planted a kiss there before allowed her fangs to sink into his skin once again.

…

Against her better judgement, Maia allowed Jordan to lead her far away from the sights and sounds of the others.

What had started out as a civil discussion regarding where they stood quickly escalated and turned into a screaming match.

“You don’t own me! I’m not your possession!” she exclaimed.

He didn’t respond. Not with words, anyway. Instead, his face began twitching and the rest of his body followed before he began screaming.

“Jordan! Jordan, are you okay?” Maia asked, concerned, as she came up closer to him.

His wrists began to bend in an unnatural way along with his hands and fingers. He slouched over and then his knees buckled before bending forward in an equally unnatural manner. He began screaming along with a noise that sounded almost like growling. His eyes then changed from their usual color to an intense bright green hue. He then dropped to the ground, still screaming.

Maia bent down and placed her hands on his back, calling out his name frantically and hoping for some response.

However, she never got one. Instead, the change continued, his body changing in shape until she no longer saw Jordan at all. What she saw was a wolf. Alarmed, she jumped back, causing her to fall backwards entirely.

Meeting eye to eye with the wolf was the last thing she remembered before blacking out.

…

Magnus and Alec were close together, looking into each other’s eyes. Magnus’s gaze shifted from Alec’s eyes to his lips. Alec knew exactly where this was going and part of him felt like maybe he should pull away, but he didn’t. He could almost feel Magnus and he wanted to, for real, even if he wasn’t normally one for public displays of affection. That didn’t matter, though. All that mattered was him and Magnus underneath the moonlight.

“Magnus!” a voice cried out frantically.

The two of them both whirled around to see Lily Chen.

Magnus rolled his eyes and was about to make some comment about how they were in the middle of something, however, the air around him changed once he noticed the distressed look on Lily’s face.

He instead took a step toward her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“What’s going on?”

“It’s Raphael. He was with Camille and I️ didn’t think she’d do anything to him but… You have to come with me, now,” she said.

Magnus’s eyes grew wide with alarm.

“Lily, is he okay?” Magnus asked.

He knew that something was seriously wrong when Lily looked down at her feet and couldn’t even look the warlock in the eyes. She then shook her head.

“Just come with me, now,” she replied instead.

It was then that Magnus knew that they never should have come to that party.

Chapter Text

Raphael Santiago’s body was laid out on the floor like a discarded rag as if he was nothing more than Camille’s scraps after she had so cruelly drained the life out of him.
His brown skin had turned to a paler shade than usual due to his body being completely drained of blood. His jacket was off, revealing the puncture wounds all along his arms in addition to those on both sides of his neck which were clear imprints of Camille’s fangs.

A horrified Magnus knelt down next to his fallen friend. He grabbed one of Raphael’s hands and squeezed it with both of his, hating how cold the dead hand felt.

“I️ can’t believe he’s gone,” Magnus said through tears. 

Lily, who was close behind, took a few steps closer to Magnus. She delicately placed her small hand on Magnus’s should.

“He’s not gone gone,” she whispered softly, not quite sure how to explain the circumstance in a time of distress for both Magnus and herself. 

Magnus sniffled and then turned his head back, still holding onto Raphael’s hand. 

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

Lily sighed. She looked away from both Magnus and Raphael before speaking. 

“He died with Camille’s blood. He’s in transition. We could either stake his heart and let him die a human death or-“

“Or we could bring him back,” Magnus finished.

With that, Lily turned back toward Magnus. She pressed her lips together and nodded as she wiped tears from under her eyes.

The faint glimmer of hope in Magnus’ eyes as he finished Lily’s sentence felt like a dagger. She could tell that in his state of grief and shock, he wasn’t fully considering the consequences. Instead he just saw the section option as a means of saving his friend. 

Lily knelt down next to Magnus. 
“I wish we had more time,” she said. “But it’s best if we decide tonight.” 

More tears fell from Magnus’ eyes, causing Lily to shed more herself. She leaned her head against the warlock’s shoulder. 
Magnus shook his head. 

“I want to bring him back, Lily. But I know if it were up to him he’d choose the stake. And we can’t be selfish. I can’t be selfish. We need to honor him as he was,” he said. 

The way that he spoke of Raphael in past tense felt like a punch in the gut. It left a bitter taste in both of their mouths as it was yet another harsh reminder of the terrible circumstance.

As Lily closed her eyes, tears fell down her face. She sighed and nodded her head. 

“I know,” she said. 

Before Magnus even knew it, Lily had disappeared from his side using her vampire speed.

He understood if she needed a moment alone, however, he also couldn’t believe that she would just leave him. 

However, it wasn’t long before she returned yielding a sharp wooden object that appeared to have been a piece of a table or chair that she had torn off.

Magnus stood and walked toward Lily until the two were face to face with one another. She hesitantly extended her arm as Magnus reached for the stake. Once it was in his hands, he walked back over toward the body. 

He knelt down once again, laying the stake gently beside him. He pushed Raphael’s dark curls back. 

“I’m so sorry,” he said.

Even with Lily’s enhanced hearing, she could hardly even make out what Magnus had said due to the presence of hysteria in his wavering voice. 

She watched him closely as he took the stake in his hand. She noticed how much he was shaking and how unsteady his grip was as he hovered it over Raphael’s chest, right where his unbeating heart was. 

“He won’t feel any pain,” Lily interjected as if that was somehow supposed to help. 

She didn’t know why she had said that. First of all, she didn’t even know whether or not that was even true. Second of all, it’s not as if that comment would make this easy. She just wanted to offer up some form of comfort, even if it was minuscule. 

Magnus didn’t respond. Instead all she heart were his shaky uneven breaths that were getting louder and faster until he was hyperventilating. He then dropped the stake beside him, letting it collide with the ground.

“Magnus!” Lily exclaimed before rushing to his side.

“I can’t do it,” he said. “I want to be strong for him but I can’t do it.” 

He then grasped the stake in his hand once again before offering to Lily. 

He could see more tears forming in her eyes as she shook her head. 

“I can’t,” she said. “I’m sorry.” 

Magnus dropped the stake once again. 

“I know. And don’t be,” he replied.

There was a long pause where each of them looked straight ahead, unable to face each other or even Raphael. 

“So, what know?” Lily finally asked. 

Magnus sighed. 

“There’s only one other thing we can do,” he whispered. 

—— 

Since Maryse and Robert Lightwood were both away on business, the gang came to the decision that they would all just crash at their place for the night.

Clary and Isabelle both fell asleep in Isabelle’s bed, leaving only a sober Alec to essentially babysit his drunk friend and brother.

“Like, it just sucks, ya know? Guys suck,” Simon remarked before allowing his bed to fall back into the couch.

“Yeah, like that Australian asshole Jordan Kyle,” Jace replied. “If it wasn’t for him, I️ totally would’ve gotten laid tonight. But nooooooo. He just had to stick his shrimp in her barbie instead.”

Alec’s face scrunched up in disgust. He shook his head.

“Okay, now you’ve officially ruined shrimp,” he said.

“But like at least you didn’t know they were having sex. I️ mean, they really could’ve just been talking. I️ mean, didn’t they go off into the woods or something?” Simon asked.

“Lots of people have sex in the woods,” Jace replied. “I’d know.”

Simon then got a stupid grin on his face and started laughing to himself.

“I️ guess you could call it wood in the woods,” he said.

“Forest hump,” Jace added.

“Damn, why didn’t I️ think of that?” Simon said.

Alec rolled his eyes.

“Jace, we live together, so I️ have to put up with you. But Simon, you’re on thin fucking ice,” he said, his eyes narrowing.

“Thin fucking ice sorta sounds like a band,” Simon pointed out.

“Sounds like a band that’d be on thin fucking ice with the record label,” Jace replied.

When Simon and Jace started getting into the specific hypotheticals of what genre this band would be and how they would ultimately lose most of their following after having to replace their frontman due to several DUIs as well as charges of drug possession, Alec decided it was time to excuse himself from the conversation.

“Okay, I’m going to bed. If you need anything, get it yourself,” he said before heading for the stairs.

——

Magnus jumped back as a hand emerged from the ground in the cemetery. 

It only then occurred to Lily that this had to have been the first time Magnus had witnessed a fledging emerge. In the back of her mind she had known that, yet it just hadn’t been a primary thought of hers. 

He watched in a combination of horror and anticipation as Raphael dug his way back above ground.

Seeing Raphael covered in dirt was a strange site for both of them as Raphael was a bit of a clean freak and was extremely meticulous regarding his appearance. 

And yet, there he was, clothes, skin, and hair all streaked with grave dirt.

He was still on his hands and knees and Lily quickly tossed a blood bag in front of him before he even had the chance to do anything. 

Much to Magnus’ surprise, he uncharacteristically gulped the contents down messily and greedily without any form of protest before discarding the plastic and searching for more, which Lily provided until he seemed satisfied. 

Magnus could see the expression on his face shift as he began to become his self again as he was no longer as consumed by the primal urge to feed. 

Raphael’s brown eyes widened and peered at friends with confusion, emphasizing the appearance of almost childlike innocence in his eyes that contrasted his sharp fangs and the blood stains on his face and clothes. 

He became filled with alarm as he noticed that they were in a cemetery. 

“Que demonios? What happened? What’s going on?” Raphael asked frantically, his speech altered by his fangs.

Magnus slowly began to inch toward the fledging. 

“Shhh, Raphael, calm down. What’s the last thing you remember?” Magnus asked. 

Raphael shook his head in confusion.

“We were at that party and I️ was watching Simon and then Camille…” he started.

He then looked down at the empty blood bags, lifting one up to examine it. He quickly threw it down on the dirt when he realized what it was.

“No, no, no!” He exclaimed, his breaths growing shallow and rapid.

He then touched the tips of his fingers to those of his fangs before abruptly withdrawing them in horror.

“No!” He shouted, punching the terrain in front of him with both fists.

He looked down, unable to face his friends as his eyes filled with tears.

“¿Soy un vampiro?” Raphael asked, finally looking up at the two who were hovering over him.

Lily nodded.

“Sí,” Lily replied.

He began shaking his head again and hyperventilating.

Lily knelt down in front of Raphael, cupping the fledgling’s face in her hands.

“Escúchame. Va a estar bien. lo prometo,” Lily reassured.

While Magnus didn’t actually speak Spanish, he understood that Lily was attempting to comfort Raphael.

Magnus stepped forward and bent over to touch Raphael’s shoulder, an act that caused the fledgling to turn his attention to the warlock.

“We’re going to get you through this,” Magnus uttered softly.

Lily slid her hands down from her friend’s face down to grasp his hands in hers.

Raphael turned to face the vampire once again.

“It’s getting late. Come with me to the DuMort and we’ll get you cleaned up and properly fed,” Lily suggested.

The older vampire originally assumed that the newborn fledgling would be more submissive in his state of shock, but this wasn’t the case. He ripped his hands away from Lily’s and sprang instantly to his feet, hissing as he created a healthy distance between the two.

“No! I️ don’t want anything to do with that place or with Camille,” he protested.

It was at that point that Magnus thought to intervene.

“He can stay with me. I’m sure Ragnor with be fine with it,” he suggested.

Lily shook her head as she turned toward the warlock.

“No. He needs to be with his own kind, meaning me,” she argued.

Magnus scoffed.

“That also means Camille, who I️ agree he should go no where near,” Magnus countered.

Lily rolled her eyes at Magnus’ comment. She folded her slender arms in front of her chest.

“You know Camille has a bunch of properties. She’s rarely even at the DuMort. She pretty much trusts me to manage things around there,” Lily explained.

Magnus was still far from convinced that Lily’s plan was such a good idea.

This ultimately resulted in a back and fourth quarrel between the two. Magnus argued that rarely wasn’t good enough and he just didn’t feel comfortable with Raphael being around Camille or her followers. Lily argued that Magnus didn’t understand what it felt like be turned and therefore couldn’t really help Raphael through this, to which Magnus made a remark about Lily’s age and how she probably didn’t even remember causing the discussion to become even more on topic until it just became a series of petty jabs.

They had certainly had their spats before, but this time, it sounded like cats fighting to Raphael. He became increasingly irritated until he could no longer take one more second of it.

“¡Basta!” Raphael shouted, much louder than intended.

This caused both of his friends to go dead silent and turn to look at him.

He took a breath, attempting to regain some composure.

“Please, just stop talking about me like I’m not here,” he said with a newfound serenity in his voice.

Both of them nodded simultaneously in agreement.

“We just want what’s best for you,” Magnus justified, sounding almost like a concerned parent.

“I know,” Raphael replied.

“I’d really like some space, but I️ guess that’s not an option since I️ have nowhere to go. And it’s not like I️ can go home like this,” he continued, choking up on the last two words.

He sniffled hard before wiping the new tears off of his face.

He then shook his head.

“I️ don’t want to go to the DuMort. I’d rather just crash with Magnus for the night,” he finished.

Lily’s lips thinned as she nodded stiffly, deciding it was probably best not to argue as much as she disagreed with his decision.

“Okay, you two go. I’ll swing by in a few to drop off some blood bags,” she said. “If you need anything, I’m just a call away.”

Raphael tensed at the mention of the blood bags, but decided to keep his feelings of disgust and horror to himself. He simply nodded.

“Thanks, Lily,” he said before they parted ways for the night.

Chapter Text

Raphael found himself unable to focus on the words that Simon was saying. He was most likely rambling in his dorky but adorable way, and yet the sound was being drowned out by that of his beating heart pumping the blood through his body.

Raphael was absolutely appalled by himself. He didn’t want to be a monster - didn’t want to look at the boy he was crushing on as nothing more than a piece of meat, and yet, he couldn’t help it when his eyes became glued to the pulse point of Simon’s neck.

Querido Dios, líbrame de mis pensamientos malvados. Por favor, Dios. Por favor.

It was no use. God couldn’t hear him. It’s not like he would listen to the desperate cries of a monster trying to escape himself. He was stuck with himself, with the wicked thoughts, the dark intense hunger, the fangs itching to reveal themselves, and the urge to make Simon his prey, ripping him apart and simply enjoying the glorious high of the feed.

Por favor, Dios. Por favor, hazlo parar.

But it didn’t stop. He needed to escape. He needed to flee from the heartbeat drumming in his ears and the smell of the blood that so cruelly taunted him. He needed to leave.

“I️ have to go,” he said suddenly, cutting Simon off mid sentence.

He should’ve been more composed as to not alarm Simon, but he just needed to go somewhere far away from the sounds and sights and smells that brought him the temptation to do bad things.

But Simon, being just a sweet clueless mundane, made a fatal mistake.

When asking Raphael what was wrong, he gently grabbed his arm. He was so close. His blood was so close.

This completely shattered Raphael’s resolve and he could not help himself from revealing his fangs and hissing at the other.

Simon quickly withdrew his hand, a look of horror painted across his face as he stepped back and away from the vampire. Raphael could see how petrified Simon was. He could almost smell it. Almost taste it.

Raphael should’ve left. He needed to leave, however, it was almost as if he’d lost all control of his limbs. Instead of speeding away from the mundane, he found himself charging at him in a flash, pinning him against the wall.

Perhaps if he wasn’t so hungry and if he wasn’t so intent on getting one thing Simon’s screams would have stopped him.

Simon cried out and writhed in pain as the vampire’s sharp teeth pierced his skin, but he still couldn’t move as the other was far to strong to fight off. Instead, he just stood there, propped against the wall until the life was completely drained out of him.

Raphael stopped as soon as he felt Simon go completely limp. He faced a moment of panic, realizing what had happened. What he’d done.

He called out Simon’s name, but he got no response. He also no longer could hear his heartbeat. His face was pale like Raphael’s own and devoid of life. Simon was dead. Raphael had killed Simon. Raphael was a killer.

Even though he knew that Simon was dead, he couldn’t bring himself to believe it. He continued to desperately call out his name.

—

Maia’s eyes opened, causing her to squint at the early morning sun. Despite feeling dizzy, she managed to push herself into an upright position, allowing her to better examine her surroundings. As she did this, she felt the rustle of the fallen leaves below her. When she looked around, she realized that she had never made it out of the woods. She felt confused as to why she didn’t remember the prior events. Yes, she had had a little bit to drink, but she hadn’t been completely wasted or even anywhere near the point of blackout.

That was when she moved her hand up to make contact with the sore spot on her neck, causing her to gasp at the feeling of the claw marks. What she saw couldn’t possibly have been real, and yet she had the scars to prove it along with dirty and tattered clothing.

Since processing the events of the previous night wasn’t even close to a possibility, Maia decided that she just needed to get home. She decided to simply tell her parents that she had spent the night at a friend’s house. It’s not like they were particularly protective over her. Not anymore.

After venturing far enough to return to the land of cell service, she checked for phone for any new messages. There were texts and missed calls from her parents, but not many, especially compared to the texts and voicemails left by none other than Jordan Kyle.

Maia decided to sit on a bench while calling for a ride from a ride sharing app before listening to some of the voicemails during the wait.

The first one she listened to sounded frantic, just a string of panicked apologies. The next was urging her to call him back as soon as possible. She wanted to call him back. She wanted to say that she was alright and everything was alright and try to make some sense of what she thought she saw. Instead, she urged herself to be strong. They were over, and he was struggled to get that message, so it seemed that she needed to cut contact with him. Besides, if what she saw, whatever it was, was somehow real then it was best to stay as far away from him as humanly possible.

—

Raphael woke up abruptly, shooting upright on the sofa.

“Who the hell is Simon?” Ragnor asked, emerging from the kitchen.

Raphael turned his head toward Ragnor, letting out a sigh as he came back to reality. It was all a dream. Still, he felt disgusted with himself when he noticed that his fangs had emerged from the thought of feeding on Simon. While he no longer needed to breathe, he found himself having to take deep breaths in order to get them to retract.

“His boy toy,” Magnus chimed in with a wink. “Although between you being ace and the fact you seem awfully distressed I️ assume that it wasn’t a sex dream.”

Magnus then made his way to the couch and gestured for Raphael to scoot over to make room. He complied.

Magnus sat down next to his friend and gently placed his hand on his arm as Ragnor slipped back into the kitchen to give them some space.

As Magnus turned to look at Raphael, his expression shifted and became much more serious.

“What’s going on?” He asked softly.

Raphael rubbed his eyes.

“I️t’s nothing,” Raphael deflected.

Magnus then gave a knowing look that pissed Raphael off.

“It’s clearly something,” Magnus replied.

Raphael shrugged and grunted.

“What do you want me to say, huh Magnus? I️ mean I️ died and became this demonic thing and my life is completely over so excuse me if I’m not in the mood to talk about my feelings!” Raphael snapped.

Magnus looked away from Raphael and instead faced straight ahead. He pressed his lips together and nodded pensively.

“I know this is a big adjustment to say the least, but it’s not over. I️ promise you that your life isn’t over,” Magnus said.

Raphael shook his head.

“I️’m dead, Magnus,” Raphael countered, his voice pathetically small.

His eyes then widened as if he was struggling to process his own words. He then gasped.

“Oh my G-“ he started before choking on the word “God”. Due to his alarm, he wasn’t even concerned by the fact that his mother would’ve scolded him for using God’s name in vain. Instead, he simply tried again, before feeling the small tightness in his throat that prevented him from saying the word.

He then blinked and looked at Magnus, causing Magnus to sigh.

“That’s another thing about being a vampire. You can no longer say ‘God’,” Magnus explained.

He could hardly even look at the broken expression on the fledgling’s face.

That was when Ragnor entered casually once again.

“That’s not entirely true,” he interjected, causing Raphael to turn his gaze toward the older warlock.

Ragnor then proceeded to sit on a chair in the sitting area before taking a long sip of the tea that he was holding. He set his tea down on the coffee table before clearing his throat.

“While you have lost the ability to say God’s name, you can get it back. Magnus tells me that you’re a man of faith, so give it time,” he said.

Raphael simply nodded, as it was all still too much to process.

“Lily should be coming by a little later to start explaining a few more things to you, but in the meantime let’s get you something to eat,” Magnus suggested.

Raphael’s entire body stiffened at the mention of feeding. He hadn’t eaten since the previous night in the cemetery and subsequently could feel the pangs of hunger growing even more intense. Still, he couldn’t imagine forcing himself to actually drink blood. As much as he craved it, the thought of giving in was absolutely mortifying.

“No,” Raphael muttered.

Magnus gently put a hand on his friend’s forearm, forcing himself not to react to how cold he felt.

“Raphael, you need to,” Magnus stated softly, attempting to gently coax the fledgling without provoking him.

Not even turning to look at the warlock, Raphael simply shook his head.

“I️ said no,” he said in an intense low growl, beginning to grow angry. He couldn’t believe that his friend actually expected him to somehow wake up and just accept being a blood sucking freak of nature.

While Magnus and Raphael began to argue over the matter, Ragnor swiftly got up from his chair and slipped into the kitchen. The two didn’t even notice until he returned with a blood bag in hand.

Ragnor then sat down on the sofa on the other of the vampire. Even through the plastic, the scent of the blood was strong causing Raphael’s eyes to become glued to the bag.

“I know it all must be overwhelming, the heightened senses, the new thoughts and urges. It’s all new and scary, but you have to drink this if you want to get this all under control. You’re not hurting anyone and you won’t have to hurt anyone,” Ragnor said calmly.

The fledgling’s gaze never moved from the blood, but he nodded to demonstrate that he understood. Slowly, he took the bag from the warlock’s hand and opened the top before pausing. All of his sense, his entire body, every fiber of his being was urging him to drink and yet it was like he was frozen and couldn’t move.

Magnus quickly picked up on the hesitation and grabbed his friend’s free hand that was next to him. When Raphael looked toward Magnus, the warlock offered him a slight encouraging smile. The vampire responded by nodding and slowly bringing the bag to his lips. After the first reluctant sip, the hunger took control causing him to greedily gulp down the remainder of the contents. Ragnor then took the empty bag from him, assuming he didn’t need the reminder, and went back to the kitchen.

Raphael then gently rested his head on Magnus’s shoulder, to which Magnus responded by putting his arm around him.

“Thank you,” Magnus whispered.

“For what?” Raphael asked, puzzled.

“For holding on.”

—

“I️ don’t even want to know,” Alec said when he moved into the living room to find Jace and Simon still asleep with his brother spooning his friend.

This caused Jace to wake and he slowly opened his eyes before realizing the situation. He then responded by abruptly removing his arm from Simon and harshly shoving him off the sofa.

Now awake, Simon looked up at Jace from the ground.

“Hey, what was that for?” Simon asked.

Jace sat up and stretched.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said mid yawn.

Suddenly, Simon was taken aback.

“Wait a minute, did we sleep on the same-“

“I️ said don’t worry about it,” Jace said, quickly cutting the other off from further inquiry.

Alec rolled his eyes at his brother’s heterosexual nonsense before speaking.

“Come to the kitchen. I️ made you idiots breakfast,” Alec said before exiting.

When the two arrived in the kitchen, Clary and Izzy were already eating at the table, Clary wearing one of her girlfriend’s t-shirts.

“Good morning,” Izzy said in a sing-song tone.

Simon nodded and Jace grunted.

Alec handed Simon and Jace each a plate of French toast and the three sat down at the table.

Realizing that he hadn’t checked it yet that morning, Simon pulled his phone out of his pocket. When he opened his messages, his eyes grew wide before he exclaimed “oh shit”.

His four friends all turned toward him.

“Si, what’s wrong?” Clary inquired with concern in her voice.

When Simon looked up from his phone, there was a slight look of panic on his face.

“I️ totally drunk texted Raphael last night,” he said.

Jace smirked and chuckled slightly before taking the phone from Simon’s hand.

“C’mon, let’s see the damage,” he said.

Jace then looked at the phone before looking back up.

“Wow, more than one text,” he said. “And the first is a ‘u up?’ text. Glad to see you’re keeping it classy, Simon.”

Simon’s face turned beet red as he looked down, mortified.

“I️ didn’t know you were such a fuckboy, Simon,” Izzy said laughing a little.

Clary then nudged Izzy despite trying to stifle her own laughter.

“You literally dated him,” Alec chimed in, causing Izzy, Clary, and Simon to all glare at him simultaneously. Alec then shrugged and took a sip of his orange juice.

Alec then looked toward his brother and gave him a slight head nod before saying “continue” causing the group to turn their attention back to Jace.

“Okay, so then no response so he texts again under an hour later saying, ‘can we talk? Because,’ note that because is misspelled, ‘because I️ feel like there’s’ oh, wrong form of there, buddy, ‘I️ feel like there’s something between us but maybe I’m wrong and it’s’, wow, wrong ‘it’s’, man, ‘and it’s just nothing but I️ think we should talk anyway,’” Jace concluded.

“Brutal,” Alec said. “And wait, how exactly did he spell because?”

“B E C A S,” Jace said.

“Yikes. And which form of there?” Alec asked.

“Possessive,” Jace replied.

Alec pressed his lips together and nodded pensively.

“Okay then, Simon, you’re screwed,” he concluded, much to Simon’s dismay.

Jace then slipped the phone back to Simon.

“What do I️ do? Do I️ text him again?” Simon asked, causing a resounding ‘no’ from the entire group.

“I️ think you’ve done enough texting,” Jace replied to which Clary and Izzy both reluctantly nodded in agreement to.

After further discussion, Izzy decided that the best course of action was to get Simon’s mind off of it. The group then tried to turn the subject to Alec’s love life and Alec dodged the questions. The five of them talked and laughed together as they shared a meal as friends.

Chapter Text

Magnus shot up from the sofa when he saw Raphael heading toward the door.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, where do you think you’re going?” Magnus asked, placing a hand on the door to keep it shut.

Raphael raised his eyebrows.

“The same place you should start heading to if you don’t want to be late: school,” Raphael replied.

Magnus shook his head.

“Are you sure that’s such a good idea? There will be a lot of mundanes there, meaning a lot of temptation so if you’re not careful you could easily lose control and -“

“I’ll be fine,” Raphael snapped bitingly. He was sick of all of it. He was tired of being stuck in the same apartment like a caged animal growing more restless by the minute. Even more so, however, he was sick of Magnus walking on eggshells and being overly cautious as if Raphael were some wild beast that might snap at any given moment. He just wanted to feel some semblance of normalcy and be around people who had no idea what kind of monster he had become.

Magnus sighed, placing a hand on Raphael’s shoulder.

“Raphael, please think about this,” Magnus tried to reason with him.

Raphael shook his head, aggressively flinching away from Magnus’s touch.

Magnus opened his mouth to speak once again, but before he could even get a single word in, the fledgling was gone in a flash. And so, Magnus did the only think he could think of to do. He made a phone call and dreaded the upcoming “I️ told you so”.

___

“Okay, so do I️ talk to him or do I️ just completely avoid him at all costs?” Simon asked frantically as he walked beside Clary.

“I️ wouldn’t avoid him per say, but I️ wouldn’t go up to him either,” Clary answered.

Simon threw his hands up.

“Okay, okay, so then what do I️ do?” Simon asked.

Clary gave it a bit of thought before responding.

“Honestly? Just go about business as usual and don’t do anything stupid,” Clary responded.

“Um, have you met me, Fray? Is it business as usual or don’t do anything stupid?” Simon asked.

Clary shook her head and giggled a bit before stepping in front of Simon. She held his hands in hers.

Simon still had the same panicked look on his face.

“Si, breathe. It’s gonna be fine. Everyone’s drunk texted their ex or their crush or someone at some point. You’ll be fine,” Clary reassured.

Simon took a deep breath and nodded. When he seemed to have cooled down a bit, the two resumed walking.

___

“What do you mean he left?” Lily asked.

Magnus rolled his eyes, clutching the phone tighter in his hand.

“I️ mean exactly that, Lillian. It’s not like I️ encouraged him,” Magnus retorted.

“Why didn’t you stop him?” Lily accused.

Magnus sighed deeply, trying to remain calm and not argue, as tempting as it was.

“He’s a vampire, meaning he is both faster and stronger than me. There wasn’t very much I️ could have done,” Magnus responded.

He could almost hear the other roll her eyes through the phone.

“This never would have happened if he had stayed at the DuMort!” Lily argued.

“Listen to me, okay? This isn’t helping. Just, what do we do now?” Magnus asked.

He heard Lily sigh before she responded.

“Okay, fine, you’re right. Just get ready and meet me at the school. The best thing we can do now is just keep an eye on him,” she decided.

Magnus grunted. It turned out he was going to school that day after all.

__

Clary squeezed Simon’s hand when she noticed that he’d caught sight of Raphael. She soon let go, as she was greeted by Izzy who embraced her with a kiss.

“I️ brought your favorite,” Izzy said, handing a coffee cup to Clary.

Clary’s expression brightened as she smiled at her girlfriend before kissing her once again.

“And you are truly the best girlfriend ever,” Clary said.

Izzy kissed Clary on the cheek and said “I️ know” which was met with an eyeroll. The two joined hands and began to walk inside, and Clary turned around and told Simon not to do anything stupid before the two were off.

“And what stupid thing are you definitely about to do?” Jace asked.

Simon looked at Jace before looking at Raphael again.

“Talk to Raphael,” Simon replied, shaking himself off a bit.

Jace scrunched up his face as if he had just been punched in the stomach and patted Simon roughly on the shoulder.

“Ah, good luck with that,” Jace said.

Simon then turned to Alec.

“You’re not going to try and talk me out it?” he asked.

Alec rolled his eyes.

“You see, I️ would do that, but none of you people ever actually listen to me,” Alec stated.

This caused Jace to laugh a bit. The rest of the gang did have a slight tendency to ignore Alec’s words of wisdom despite his more prudent and practical disposition for the sake of, well, being reckless teenagers.

Alec sighed.

“Well, the faster you get it over with, the faster I️ can say I️ told you so,” Alec said.

Simon nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Alright,” he said. “I️’m going in.”

It was with that that he ventured into the crowd of students, cutting through them and saying “excuse me” about a thousand times before reaching Raphael who, by that time, was at his locker.

Simon attempted to play it cool, resting his hand against the locker next to Raphael’s and leaning against it. This, however, did not go as planned, as another student actually needed to get in the locker and as a result told him to move putting him in a position where he was sort of awkwardly hovering behind Raphael.

Simon then cleared his throat rather loudly, causing Raphael to turn around.

“Oh, hey, Raphael, I️ didn’t see you there,” Simon lied.

Raphael laughed a little bit. Simon was a complete and utter dork, but Raphael found his quirkiness to be absolutely adorable.

“So uh, I️ just wanted to say sorry about those texts. I️ was drunk. Like, really drunk. But I️ uh-I️ mean, I️ do still think that we should talk. I️ mean, if it’s cool with you,” Simon rambled.

Raphael attempted to maintain his composure. He tried to focus in on each word the other was saying rather than listen to the rapid thumping of his heart. He regretted not drinking something before he left the apartment as he tried his best to not look at the jugular vein that was so close, so inviting, so full of…

Speak. He had to respond; he had to say something. He had to end things before something bad happened. He had to be responsible regardless of how much it hurt.

Raphael shook his head.

“I️ don’t think that there’s anything to talk about,” Raphael said, struggling to keep a neutral expression even when he saw the hurt look on Simon’s face. “Whatever was going on between us…it’s over.”

Raphael then turned back around to lock his locker before looking at the other’s stunned expression. He unintentionally stole a quick glance at Simon’s throat before looking into his eyes again.

“Trust me, it’s for your own good. Now, excuse me, I️ have to get to class,” Raphael said coldly, pushing past the other.

As he walked toward his next class, he had to force himself not to turn around.

Simon just stood there, stunned as he tried to figure out how he was supposed to go through the rest of the day pretending that he didn’t just have his heart torn out.

Chapter Text

“Okay, so I️ think here we would start by just using the Pythagorean theorem to find the length of the hypotenuse of triangle…Simon? Simon, are you even listening?” Clary asked in frustration, noticing that Simon’s gaze was somewhere else and not his laptop screen.

Simon jumped slightly, alarmed by the sound of his own name bringing him back to the present from the moment that he had been replayed nonstop in his own head.

“Yeah, sorry, Pythagorean theorem, sounds good,” Simon said.

Clary sighed, propping her elbows on her desk and resting her chin in her palms.

“Okay, what’s on your mind?” Clary asked, deciding that her best friend was more important than math homework.

Simon shook his head.

“I️ just…I️ don’t know what I️ did wrong. And he said it was ‘for my own good’. What is that even supposed to me?” Simon asked.

Clary shrugged.

“I don’t know. Maybe the dude’s super screwed up. Maybe he’s a secret serial killer and he’s trying to fight his homicidal tendencies,” Clary joked, trying her best to cheer Simon up.

Simon rolled his eyes, but chuckled just a bit. He then grew alarmed as he saw his friend’s eyes widen in horror, her jaw dropping.

“What’s wrong?” Simon asked.

Clary did not respond with words. Instead, she sent him a text saying that she thinks she saw something - or someone - move behind him.

Simon’s entire body tensed at these words, and that was the last thing that Clary saw before his laptop shut and she found herself screaming out his name.

—

Raphael sighed when he went to answer his cell phone and saw that it was Simon calling. He denied the call before setting his phone aside.

It wasn’t long, however, before he got a notification indicating that Simon left a voicemail. He knew he should just delete it, but he found himself instead clicking on it to listen.

Raphael almost dropped his phone when he heard Camille’s voice instead of Simon’s.

“Raphael, it’s your sire. I️ don’t appreciate you avoiding me. So, I️ thought we could negotiate. I️ have Simon with me, I️ hope you don’t mind. I️ just figured that if you don’t come home to the DuMort then maybe I️ could turn your little boyfriend here instead. Or just drain him, depending on if I’m feeling naughty or nice.”

Camille’s words made Raphael’s blood boil. He didn’t even take a moment to compose himself. He was so enraged that he went directly to the DuMort, feeling ready to kill Camille.

Raphael didn’t bother knocking; he couldn’t be bothered with niceties. Instead, he busted right in, breaking the lock in the process with his new vampire strength.

“Hello, my pet,” Camille said, sitting up from one of the golden couches that was in the main room.

He saw that Simon was sitting there completely still and silent and figured that Camille must’ve encantoed him.

“Let Simon go,” Raphael said, his voice low.

Camille simply laughed as if this entire thing were simply a game to her. She looked at Raphael up and down as Raphael tried to mask how uncomfortable he felt with this.

“I️ want your loyalty,” Camille said.

She then flashed a devilish smirk before turning around to look at Simon.

“Come here, my little caramel,” she said, to which Simon responded by getting up from the couch and walking toward Camille. It killed Raphael to see how much he was shaking.

“Now, hold still,” she said, before flashing fangs and sinking them into Simon’s neck. She did so quickly, immediately withdrawing.

She then smirked at Raphael, whose entire body was now extremely tense.

“You look a little pale, Raphael. You clearly need to feed, and you must be dying to taste him,” she said, stroking her finger along the mundane’s neck.

Raphael couldn’t help it. His eyes fell onto the two puncture wounds on the other boy’s neck. After all, she was right: Raphael was dying to taste him. The scent of his blood was intoxicating, so much better than blood from a bag. It took everything in him to prevent his fangs from extending. There was a part of him that was fighting to emerge, the animal, the predator, the monster.

“Let him go,” Raphael seethed, growing increasingly panicked as he struggled to stay in control.

Camille tossed her head back and laughed.

“Oh, but where’s the fun in that?” Camille teased.

She then touched her finger to the wound she had created and licked the blood of her finger, making an exaggerated moaning sound to taunt the hungry fledgling.

“This is your final warning: let. Him. Go,” Raphael growled.

Camille’s eyes widened in surprise, but the reaction was soon followed by laughter. This infuriated Raphael.

“Well, aren’t you just precious? You really think that you can threaten me? Sweetheart, I️ don’t think so,” Camille condescended.

Raphael knew he had to act fast before the hunger got the best of him.

He looked at Simon, hissing and baring fangs. Simon’s eyes widened as he took a slight step back but was almost frozen in his terror. Camille smirked, delighted to see that she had succeeded in turning Magnus’s friend into a killer.

She was then taken by surprise when, instead of attacking Simon, the fledgling quickly charged at her, managing to briefly pin her to the ground due to catching her completely off guard.

Raphael then looked toward Simon and shouted “run”. Simon seemed to be somewhat out of the encanto daze as he ran for the broken door.

Camille didn’t even bother to stop the mundane, her focus on Raphael. Before he knew it, he was up against the wall, pinned down by Camille’s hand on his throat lifted up so that his feet didn’t even touch the ground. The elder vampire hissed menacingly as she dug her long pointed nails into the boy’s throat, drawing a lot of blood and causing Raphael to choke.

When she had felt that he’d had enough, she took a step back, causing the fledgling to collapse onto the ground in front of her, gasping for the air he no longer needed as well as coughing up a bit of blood.

“Let this be a lesson,” Camille said cruelly, looking down at Raphael. “Never disobey me.”

He didn’t respond. He allowed his eyes to close and simply listened to the sound of high heels clicking as she walked away.

___

“Simon? Simon! Simon, are you okay?” a voice asked from behind him.

Still on edge, Simon whirled around to see Maia running up to catch up to him. He felt himself sigh in relief. He didn’t really know where he was going as he cut through a nearby park, so it was comforting to at the very least see a familiar face.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Simon said, struggling to catch his breath.

She tilted her head in confusion and shook her head slightly to show her lack of understanding. She then sat down on a nearby bench and gestured for Simon to sit next to her, which he did.

“What happened to you?” she asked, gesturing toward the bite mark on his neck and the dried up blood near it.

Simon shook his head.

“If I️ told you, you’d think I️ totally lost my mind,” he said, attempting use his shirt to cover up the marks.

Maia shrugged.

“I️ doubt it’s crazier than some of the shit I’ve seen lately,” she confessed.

“That’s definitely a bet you’d lose,” he teased.

Maia then looked toward the setting sun and went silent for a moment, tensing up. She then turned back to Simon, her expression now serious and slightly fearful.

“Can we…can we maybe go somewhere private?” Maia asked abruptly, to which Simon responded by nodding and the two were off.

___

Raphael wasn’t sure how long he’d been out, but when he woke up on the cold tile floor, it was dark, and he was in a different, smaller room. He slowly got up, placing a hand on his head in reaction to the pain he felt.

He made his way toward the golden door and, much to his surprise, it wasn’t even locked.

He still didn’t feel fully conscious; it was as if he were in a daze of some sort. As he stumbled out of the hotel, he was reminded of the intense hunger that he felt and soon searched for a source of food.

There weren’t as many people on the street, but it didn’t take him long to smell and then spot a mundane. He was a young man, perhaps in his early twenties, taking a night jog with earbuds in.

Raphael didn’t even think twice before charging at the man and pinning him against an alley wall before the man could even so much as blink, let alone scream.

He allowed his fangs to sink into the man’s throat. The feeling of tearing into flesh with his teeth was euphoric and the taste of the warm, fresh, live blood was even better. He was in pure ecstasy as he drained the life out of him straight from the vein.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, the notion of time as a concept had escaped him, but he began to hear a faint sound in the background that almost sounded like someone calling his name. However, it wasn’t ringing in his ears in the same way that the slowing heartbeat was.

He then felt hands attempted to pull him away, to which he responded by turning around and hissing.

Magnus stopped in his tracks for a moment, looking at his mild mannered, neat freak, catholic best friend standing before him with pupils fully dilated in a feral stare and bloody fangs peaking out from his mouth.

“Raphael!” Magnus exclaimed.

Raphael blinked a few times, stunned. His eyes went back to normal and he managed to retract his fangs. He looked almost like himself.

Raphael shook his head slowly, not really processing what was happening. It wasn’t long before he turned back around and saw the man lying lifelessly on the ground. The fledgling dropped to his knees and began desperately searching for a pulse or breaths or any sign of life at all. He turned over the body so the man was lying on his back and began an attempt to do compressions.

“No, no, no! Don’t be dead! You can’t be dead!” Raphael shrieked.

Magnus crouched down and placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder, gently guiding him away from the dead body. Rather than fighting, Raphael simply collapsed into the warlock, burying his face in the other’s shirt as he felt tears escaping.

“Shhh, shhhh. It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay,” Magnus assured Raphael, but deep down he feared that nothing would ever truly be okay again.

Chapter Text

Raphael and Magnus were completely silent on the way home.

After the incident, Magnus called Lily, who showed up and assured that she would take care of everything, leaving Magnus to take Raphael home.

Raphael didn’t say anything. He was still in completely shock from what had happened - what he’d done. He had been so overwhelmed by this demonic hunger that he fed on the blood of an innocent person and couldn’t stop. He drained the life out of him and he enjoyed it. He killed someone and liked it, and while it was too much to even process, he already knew that he hated himself.

Magnus, on the other hand, was experiencing his own form of shock mixed with his own form of guilt. It was his fault. Raphael was like this because of him. Magnus couldn’t let go; he was too weak to drive the stake through his friend’s heart even though he knew that it would be for the best. Instead, he chose to turn him, and now the blood was just as much on his hands as it was on Raphael’s. Besides, unfortunately, Magnus knew from experience that taking a life is something that you never truly come back from and now Raphael would have to carry this burden for the rest of his immortal life and that was Magnus’s fault too.

The first thing that Raphael did when he returned to the apartment was take a shower. Despite no longer feeling the effects of temperature, he turned up the water temperature out of habit. He used up all of the hot water. He needed to wash the blood off of his hands. He just needed to feel clean again in a way that he never truly would.

—

Simon sat at the edge of his bed, eyes widened with surprise as he attempted to process everything.

“So…werewolves are real…” he reiterated before looking back to face Maia again.

She clicked her tongue and nodded before exhaling.

“Yeah. And vampires…” she said.

Simon nodded.

“Yup.”

Maia sighed before chuckling a bit. It wasn’t a lighthearted laugh, but just one that happened out of there being nothing else to do. It was dark and sarcastic, but it filled the silence.

“We’ve both totally lost our minds, haven’t we?” she said.

To that, Simon joined in on the laughter.

“Oh, most definitely,” he affirmed.

While there was no real way of knowing that the two of them hadn’t just simply gone insane, it was nice to have someone to talk to for both of them. Neither of them had anyone they could tell who were likely to actually believe them.

The silence then grew more tense as Simon’s mind went to a darker place that seemed to be a very real possibility. He didn’t know how to approach the subject as this was all extremely brand new to him. Still, he just came out and said it.

“So have you had any of signs of you like…you know…” he faltered.

Maia shook her head, confused.

“Of me what?” she asked.

Simon leaned forward.

“Turning,” he whispered as if there was someone else there.

Maia gasped.

“Oh my god I️ didn’t even think about that! But, no, actually. I️ mean the scratches hurt like a bitch when I️ woke up, but since then I’ve felt pretty normal. Or as normal as you can feel after finding out that your ex boyfriend is a werewolf,” she said. “I️ guess that it’s probably too early for you to tell.”

Simon clenched his jaw. He nodded.

Maia reached out her hands, touching Simon’s.

“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” she assured, offering a weak smile. After all, she wasn’t sure at all. She didn’t know anything about vampires or werewolves or god knows what else outside of maybe a few movies here and there.

Simon exhaled.

“I️ hope so,” he said, because at that point all he could do was hope.

Chapter Text

“Raphael, put it down,” Magnus said slowly.

He could feel is own body shaking, the hand that he extended before Raphael visibly trembling in front of his body.

Raphael hardly moved. His face turned toward the warlock, revealing teary eyes. Both of his hands still remained grasping the wooden stake, holding it in place where it was aimed at his chest.

Magnus took a slow, careful step forward as if approaching a frightened animal, fearing that any sudden movements would cause his friend to drive the stake right through his own heart.

Raphael looked at Magnus’s teary eyes and then at the wooden stake, trying to choose between one of his best friends and release from the body he now felt was a prison.

“Raphael, please,” Magnus pleaded, tears welling up in his eyes.

The fledgling shook his head.

“I’m a monster,” he said. “I’ve killed and I’ll do it again if given the chance. This is for the best.”

Magnus shook his head, feeling more tears stream down his face.

“No, it’s not. I️ can’t live without you. That’s why I️ brought you back,” Magnus said. The words just slipped out, and he hadn’t even realized what he’d just done until it was too late.

On one hand, he accomplished the goal, Raphael’s fingers loosening and the stake dropping at his feet.

On the other hand, he’d opened an entirely different can of worms, the other’s eyes widening and zeroing in on Magnus.

Raphael shook his head in disbelief.

“No, Camille did this to me. She killed me and she brought me back as this monster,” Raphael said. That was the story he’d known, and he refused to believe anything else. He wanted to hate Camille. He did hate Camille. She was a monster. But Magnus and Lily had to be on his side. He couldn’t hate them, because then he’d have no one.

Magnus looked down at his feet, unable to face the other.

“Camille did kill you, but she didn’t bury you. We had a choice: we could either stake your heart and let you die a human death, or we could bury you and you could come back…” Magnus said before being cut off.

“No! You’re lying!” Raphael interrupted.

He didn’t want to hear it, he didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want it to be true. He didn’t want this never-ending nightmare to become worse than it already was.

But, instead, much to Raphael’s dismay, Magnus continued.

“We were going to stake you. We knew it was you’d want…but neither of us could bring ourselves to do it. We were going to tell to you…” Magnus trailed off.

It was true, ish. The plan was to tell Raphael eventually, but not before keeping it from him for as long as possible. They just wanted him to adjust to being a vampire, and they knew that he wouldn’t trust either of them if he knew that it was a life that they’d forced upon him.

The look that Raphael gave him was worse than any reaction that Magnus could’ve imagined. It was some mix of disbelief and horror, and he also looked at Magnus like he was the real monster.

Raphael shook his head once again.

“How could you?” he asked, his voice small and pathetic.

Magnus took another small step forward.

“I️’m sorry,” was all he could manage to say. His friend was in all of this pain and he caused it, and he’d never forgive himself for that.

“You turned me into a monster. And now that’s all I️ am: a monster,” Raphael said, bringing the stake up so he could simply look at it.

Magnus shook his head, biting his quivering bottom lip as more tears rolled down his cheeks.

“No, Raphael, please, just listen to me. Please just listen. You’re not a monster. You’re a good person. You’re still good,” Magnus said, choking up.

“It is no longer possible for me to be good,” he replied. “If I️ were still good and brave, I️ would do what my mother would want if she knew the truth. I️ would drive this stake through my heart and end my life. But I️ am a selfish, wicked, heartless beast and I️ do not want to burn in the fires of Hell yet. I’m scared. I’m so scared.”

Tears were streaming down Raphael’s face. His expression was desperate, and he looked at Magnus as if pleading for something. He revered himself as a monster, but his eyes revealed the fear of a child. He was both the monster under the bed and the child that feared it, and he simply couldn’t live with both.

“You don’t have to be afraid. We can figure this out. Just put the stake down,” Magnus said, still trying to reason with Raphael.

He grew even more concerned as Raphael’s expression shifted from the pleading one to an almost blank quality. He began to slowly move toward Magnus.

“I️ may be too much of a coward to do it but you…you can still make things right. It’s not too late,” Raphael said, his voice and hands both shaking.

Magnus’s eyes widened. He wasn’t sure what Raphael was even suggesting. But, before he could even process, the fledgling’s fingers were grasping at his, wrapping them around the dull side of the stake and pointing the sharp end at Raphael’s chest.

Magnus shook his head vigorously.

“No, no. No! Raphael…I️ can’t. Stop this. Just please stop,” Magnus cried.

“Shhhh, it’s okay. Just look at me. You know it’s the right thing to do. I️ saw the way that you looked at me after I️…after I️ k-killed that man. You knew in that moment that Raphael Santiago was dead,” he said.

At first, he hadn’t wanted to tell Magnus. He didn’t want to guilt him so he pretended that he didn’t notice. But he did. He noticed the horror that was painted across his face. He could almost feel that same stinging regret, the regret of choosing the shovel over the stake. He could tell that Magnus knew he’d made the wrong choice, but now he was giving him the opportunity to right his wrongs.

“No!” Magnus shouted.

With that, Magnus used a burst of magic to causing Raphael to go flying to the back wall, letting go of the stake. It wasn’t too hard, but he still rushed to the others side.

Once he made sure that the other was okay, he spoke again.

“Don’t you dare for one second think that I️ would ever give up on you,” Magnus demanded sternly.

Raphael didn’t say anything. He simply swallowed the lump in his throat as he watched the wooden stake disappear in a poof of smoke.

Still standing over Raphael, Magnus extended his hand toward him.

At this, the vampire simply looked at the warlock’s hand, still frozen.

After a long moment stretched into another with no response, Magnus sat down on the floor next to his friend.

Magnus sighed after a brief moment of silence.

Raphael stared blankly ahead of him, clenching his jaw as he swallowed.

“I️ killed someone, Magnus,” he reflected, barely a hitch in his voice. He said it sternly and coldly, but the terror was still vivid in his eyes.

Magnus pressed his lips together tightly and nodded.

“I know,” he said. “So have I️.”

With that, Raphael turned to look at the warlock, stunned.

“You never told me,” Raphael said.

Magnus was surprised. Raphael’s voice didn’t sound terrified or even judgmental.

Magnus shook his head.

“I️ never knew how,” Magnus said. “But it’s something that I’ll always have to live with - something I’ve learned to live with. And you will too. I️ promise."

—

Maia examined herself in the mirror. Slowly, she unraveled the scarf around her neck to reveal the white bandage. Carefully, she touched a hand to the bandage covering the wound before flinching away and hissing with pain.

She looked at her hands. They appeared normal with normal human nails and no signs of claws. Her eyes were the same and so were her teeth. There was no new hair anywhere - thank God - and essentially no signs of her turning into a werewolf.

She sighed a relieved sigh before smiling slightly to herself. She was going to be okay.

—

Clary flung her arms around Simon, closing her eyes and holding onto him tightly.

“Thank God you’re okay. I️ was so worried,” she said.

Simon tried to focus on the words she was saying, but instead, for some reason, he was able to hear her heartbeat. He also found his eyes wandering and glueing themselves to the pulse point on her neck, where he could literally see the blood flowing through her jugular vein.

And, it was in that moment that he realized that he had a serious problem on his hands.

Chapter Text

Simon was beginning to feel more and more like he was losing his mind.

He found himself pacing back in forth in front of his bed, unable to find stillness. He jumped slightly when he felt his cell phone vibrate in his hand, despite the fact that he had just texted Maia and had anticipated a response. The text was fairly vague, simply saying, “SOS.”

He knew he should probably text Clary, Izzy, Jace, or Alec about the situation rather than Maia who was probably more of a close acquaintance. However, Maia was the only person he was aware of who would actually take him seriously and not think he was crazy. He knew that if he told Clary she’d probably think he was having a psychotic break and tell his mom. If he told Izzy, she’d probably think the same thing and tell Clary. Jace probably wouldn’t take him seriously at all and Alec would probably have him admitted to an institution himself. So, he found himself keeping a huge secret from his friends.

When he looked at his phone, he saw a response from Maia that said, “What’s going on????”

Before he could even open his messages app, he was already receiving a FaceTime call from the other. He exhaled before answering it.

“Simon, what’s going on? Are you okay?” she immediately asked, her tone concerned. She didn’t bother with any type of niceties or unnecessary greetings.

Simon shook his head.

“I️ think I️ might be turning into a vampire,” he said, his voice and eyes both filled with panic.

Maia gasped.

“Holy shit,” she replied, still in partial shock.

Both she and Simon had only recently become aware of the supernatural, and neither of them actually really knew anything.

“Okay, I’m coming over there,” Maia said after a moment of silence.

At this, Simon’s eyes widened with panic.

“No! You can’t! What if I’m dangerous?” Simon warned.

Maia shot him a glare that made it very clear not to argue with her.

“Simon? I’m coming over there,” she said before hanging up.

—

Maia took a step closer to Simon as he paced back and forth in his bedroom. At that, he stopped dead in his tracks, putting out a hand in front of him.

“Stay back,” he warned.

Maia flinched, slightly alarmed by the abruptness of his action.

“Simon, talk to me. What makes you think you you’re turning?” she asked, trying her best to assess the situation.

Simon managed to put his arms back at his sides, but his hands were shaking. He was clearly distressed.

“Uh, Clary. She uh, she came up to hug me and then I️-I️…oh my God,” he began, his breathing beginning to increase in speed.

At this, Maia rushed up to him, placing her hands on his arms.

“Simon? Simon, look at me,” she said.

After a moment, Simon managed to lock his gaze into hers.

Maia nodded.

“Good. Now breathe,” Maia instructed.

Simon began to shake his head.

“Simon, it’s okay. Just breathe,” she repeated.

Simon drew out a long exhale before inhaling sharply. At this, Maia began to instruct him to inhale and exhale, counting out his breathing with him until he seemed calm enough.

Slowly, Maia released Simon from her grasp.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Simon nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. I’m sorry,” he said.

Maia shook her head.

“Hey, you don’t need to apologize.”

Simon nodded once again before deciding to continue to try and tell her what happened. He swallowed a lump in his throat before speaking.

“When Clary hugged me, I️ could hear her heartbeat. And then, I️ looked at her neck and…I don’t know…it was like I️ could see the blood rushing and I️ just…I️ can’t do this. I️ can’t be a vampire,” he said.

“Hey, you’re gonna be okay, okay? Have you talked to Raphael?” Maia asked, already knowing that the answer was no.

Simon shook his head.

“I️ can’t,” he said, looking down at his head.

Maia tilted her head.

“Why not?” she asked.

Simon looked back up at her, a new sadness lingering in his eyes.

“He made it pretty clear that he wants nothing to do with me,” Simon stated.

“Okay, then you blow up his phone and demand answers, you hear me?” Maia said.

“I️ don’t know if I️ should-“ Simon began, before being cut off by one of Maia’s glares. He was beginning to realize that Maia was probably someone who was right a lot of the time and did not like to be argued with.

“Maybe I’ll try texting him,” Simon compromised.

Maia nodded.

“You do that,” she said.

After a moment of silence and stillness, Maia spoke once again.

“Now, Simon!” she commanded.

“Oh, yeah, now, okay,” he replied.

Simon squirmed to fish out his cellphone from his pocket. When he got it out, he began to text Raphael.

“Because there is no time like the present,” he murmured as he typed.

Maia rolled her eyes.

“And get right to the point. Don’t ramble,” she said.

Simon scoffed.

“What? I️ don’t ramble,” Simon retorted.

At that, Maia chuckled a little bit, causing Simon to look up from his phone at her.

Maia’s eyes widened.

“Oh, you were serious? Ugh just…gimme that,” she said, beginning to reach for Simon’s phone.

“Hey!” Simon exclaimed as she took it from his hands.

He gasped quietly as she deleted the thoughtfully crafted paragraph he had been working on and began typing.

She then handed the phone back for him to see an already sent text simply reading: “Need answers. Now. Call me.”

“That just feels so forward,” Simon said.

“Yeah. Straightforward. It’s called being concise. You’re welcome,” she replied.

Simon nodded. He didn’t agree with her, but he wasn’t trying to argue with her either.

“So now we wait,” he said nervously.

—

Simon jumped up from the park bench he was sitting on when he saw Raphael approach. He was clearly on edge, and seeing the other didn’t help as he brought on a whirlwind of mixed emotions.

On one hand, Raphael abruptly broke things off between them and left Simon completely heartbroken. On the other hand, he was basically his knight in shining armor when he saved him from Camille. On the other hand, he was a vampire, just like Camille herself. Not mention that he didn’t know anything about vampires, hell, he didn’t even know vampires existed until recently. He didn’t think that Raphael would hurt him, but how could he be sure? For all he knew, Raphael could be a monster just like Camille. Then again, if he really was, why would he bother saving him to begin with? Simon’s head was spinning with questions.

“You said you needed to talk,” Raphael said, his tone even.

Simon found himself irritated by how calm and composed Raphael seemed. He spoke as if nothing at all happened between them. In fact, he spoke as if they were nothing more than colleagues speaking about some kind of business matter.

Simon swallowed and nodded.

“Yeah. Look, I️ know you don’t want anything to do with me, but I️ uh…I️ need your help. I️ think I️ might be becoming…well, like you,” Simon said.

While Raphael made sure not to show it, a small part of him was hurt by the underlying disgust in the mundane’s tone. He knew that Simon didn’t intend for it to come off that way, but he could still sense it all the same. Besides, he wasn’t even sure why it bothered him to begin with. He knew that things were over with Simon the moment that he turned, but it still hurt all the same.

Raphael shook his head.

“You’re not, trust me,” he replied.

Simon let out a sigh of relief, feeling like he had been holding his breath for a long time.

“So, I️-I’m okay? I’m still, still human, I️ mean,” Simon said.

Raphael nodded.

“Oh, thank God,” Simon said.

Simon cursed himself in his head when he realized the implications of what he’d just said.

“I️ didn’t mean it like that, I️ just-“ Simon began before being cut off.

“It’s okay,” Raphael replied. “Trust me, I️ get it.”

Simon nodded awkwardly before noticing something.

“Wait a minute, how do you know I’m not gonna turn?” Simon asked.

Raphael sighed.

“In order to turn into a vampire, you’d have to die with vampire blood in your system and then feed as soon as you crawl out of your own grave,” Raphael explained, but his gaze wasn’t on Simon. It was somewhere far away as if he was thinking: remembering.

“Wait, you-you went through all of that?” Simon asked.

Raphael clenched his jaw as he nodded solemnly.

“I’m so sorry,” Simon said, his eyes filled with genuine sympathy.

Raphael shrugged.

“It’s in the past now,” he said, trying to brush it off. He didn’t want to think about that night ever again.

“How long ago?” Simon asked.

He just kept asking way too many questions. Why couldn’t he just be satisfied with knowing that he was going to be okay and agree to leave Raphael alone?

“Remember Camille’s party? That was when she turned me,” Raphael confessed.

Simon’s eyes widened. All of it was beginning to make sense. That was what actually happened between them that night.

“Wait a minute…is, is that why you broke things off?” Simon asked.

Raphael nodded.

“I️ can’t be in a relationship with a human; it’s too risky,” he said.

Simon made the daring move of taking a step forward, closing some of the space between him and the vampire. Still, Raphael could hear his heartbeat which gave away how nervous he was.

“What’s life without a few risks?” Simon asked.

Raphael was slightly taken aback by this. There Simon was, fully aware of him being a vampire, and yet still insinuating that he actually wanted to be with him.

“Simon, we can’t,” he simply stated.

Simon took another step forward, heartbeat still erratic but will still overpowering his nerves.

“I️ don’t believe that. I’m not going to pretend that I️ understand what you are, but I know that you saved me. And I know that you’re good,” Simon said.

Raphael shook his head.

“I️’m not,” he uttered softly, voice barely above a whisper. He knew that he’d saved Simon, but he also drained the life out of an innocent mundane afterward. There was nothing good about him.

Simon then took Raphael’s hands in his, comforting him. Raphael’s hands were cold, but that didn’t matter to Simon.

“You are,” Simon contradicted, his voice equally soft as he began to lean in toward Raphael.

“Simon…” Raphael whispered.

“Shhhh,” Simon quieted before gently meeting their lips.

After breaking contact, the two of them leaned into one another, foreheads touching, both of their eyes closed.

“Please stay,” Simon whispered.

Raphael felt a single tear drop fall down his cheek.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered back.

And just like that, he was gone without a trace, leaving Simon alone.

—

Maia looked at the full moon shining above her that appeared unnaturally bright. She felt a slight sting in her eyes before being overcome with a widespread pain.

She dropped her bag beside her as she began to twist her wrists and arms uncontrollably. She felt a pain in her gut, causing her to slouch over and feel out of breath. Her knees buckled, causing her to drop to the ground.

She continued to feel the pain as well as hear a sound that alarming sounded a lot like her own bones cracking.

Even more alarmingly, it reminded her of what happened to Jordan that night at the party.

She looked down at her own hands to see hair sprouting as well as what appeared like claws emerging from her nails.

She screamed out with both fear and pain, but as soon as she began to make the sound, her gums ached as fangs emerged from them and the noise was soon replaced with an animalistic growl.

Her form continued to change and ripped out of her clothes until she was fully in wolf form and disappeared into the night.

Chapter Text

Raphael sunk his in teeth into his victim’s pliant flesh before greedily gulping down the delicious crimson liquid. It was completely intoxicating — the glorious feeling of fangs breaking skin, the divine taste unlike any other, the pure power and ecstasy filling him up: satiating the agonizingly profound hunger and making him feel whole again.

He needed it. He needed blood fresh from the source. He needed to fully give into his monstrous desires. He needed to feed. He could claim some moral high ground, he could pretend that there was still good inside of him, but that wouldn’t stop every inch of his body from craving it with an urgency that ached in the pit of his stomach and burned in his veins.

Besides, what was the point in fighting it? What was the point of forcing himself to endure the uphill battle of resisting his true nature for every single day for the rest of his cursed immortality? He was already a monster: damned in the eyes of God. Not to mention that his family had moved on: Lily had ensured that with an Encanto.

He couldn’t rid himself of the demon blood that now coursed through his veins. There was no redemption for him. So why not embrace it? Why fight being a monster when being a monster felt so amazing?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Magnus opened the door to Ragnor’s apartment to see Lily standing there.

“Is Raphael here?” she asked, not wasting a moment of precious time before cutting to the chase.

Magnus shook his head slowly, slightly puzzled.

“No, wh-“ he began, Lily cutting past him and going directly inside.

“Ah, yes, come in,” he said sarcastically before closing the door and turning to face the vampire.

Lily rolled her eyes.

“Someone’s been feeding on mundanes,” she said.

Magnus raised an eyebrow.

“What? How do you know?” he asked.

Lily sighed.

“I️ suspected it when people started going missing, but then bodies started turning up drained of blood,” she explained.

The warlock’s face was ridden with a terrible mixture of shock, horror, and confusion.

“Why are you coming to me with this?” he asked.

Lily went silent for a moment, her expression completely solemn. She didn’t know how to break the news to Magnus, just piecing it together herself had been jarring enough.

“Because I️ think I know who’s behind it,” she said.

Magnus nodded in understand.

“Of course. Camille,” he concluded.

Lily shook her head slowly.

“No. A vampire of her age would never be that careless. I️ think it’s Raphael,” she admitted.

Magnus shook his head vigorously, looking offended.

“What? No. Raphael would never-“ he began.

“The old Raphael would never. The new Raphael is a young, hungry fledging still learning to control himself. I know you don’t understand because you were born with it, but demon blood does change you,” she explained.

Magnus nodded, all of the color draining from his face. The thought that Raphael was out there using human beings as blood bags made him feel sick. He didn’t want to believe Lily, but he did.

She said he didn’t understand, but he didn’t. Sure, he was born a warlock, but that didn’t mean he was a stranger to the dark urges that came with it. As Lily said those words, images of his stepfather during his final moments flashed before Magnus’ eyes.

“So, if Raphael really is…killing,” he said, his voice lowering on the final word. “What do we do now?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jordan Kyle was undoubtedly the biggest asshole on the planet.

Of course Maia already knew this, but just when she thought that he couldn’t hurt her more than he already had, he did. She was wrong, oh so wrong.

After her first shift, she’d called and texted him to no avail. Did she hate him for what he did to her? Of course. But even in spite of her hatred, she felt something that was even stronger: a deep need to not be alone.

So, she’d blown up his phone and gotten no response. When she came to school, she looked all over for him, but he was nowhere to be found. She then decided to ask around. Turns out, he’d left. He’d gone back to Australia for “personal reasons.” Maia knew what those reasons were: he didn’t want to deal with the consequences of his actions. He’d turned her into a monster, and now he was ready to turn his back.

Part of her wished that Simon had turned into a vampire. Of course she was happy for Simon and didn’t want anything bad to happen to him, so she felt guilty about the fact that that thought even crossed her mind to begin with. Still, she just wanted to share her pain with someone — anyone — because it was growing increasingly evident that it was too heavy of a burden to carry by herself, and sooner or later it was bound to crush her.

Maia didn’t want to go home. She didn’t want to be anywhere. Hell, she didn’t even want to be anymore. So, she just wandered. She wandered the streets of New York City by herself until she came to a dock where a Chinese food restaurant was located. Fortunately, there didn’t seem to be too many people around. So, it was there, by the water, that she finally just cried her eyes out. At that point, it didn’t even feel good to cry, but it was a release that she needed all the same.

“Are you okay?” a deep voice said behind her.

Maia jumped at the sound and whirled around to look at the man behind her.

“Do I️ look okay?” she snapped.

The man was most likely well intentioned, but it didn’t matter. She simply wasn’t in the mood.

“I know what you’re going through,” he said.

Maia shook her head incredulously.

“No, you don’t, okay? You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me!” she exclaimed through more tears, growing increasingly frustrated.

Despite her words, the man remained calm, but insistent.

“I️ can help you,” he assured.

“How?” Maia scoffed, just wanting him to leave her to cry in peace.

He looked at her intensely, eyes turning a glowing green hue, just like Jordan’s had. She gasped.

“My name is Luke Garroway. And I’m like you.”