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It took Peter a few moments to realize that he had fallen asleep. It took a few more to understand why he was waking up. It had gotten considerably warm. A few places on his body, especially his back and chest were bordering on scalding hot. He tried to kick away the extra blanket he had draped on himself, and his leg connected with a solid object. At the very same moment, he realized he was being constrained in a very narrow place with very minimal ability to move from his current position. In his half-awake mind, he started to panic - someone had bound his body to the bed, he thought. He thrashed under a heavyweight but to no avail. Then, he looked down and found that it was a hand over his chest that was stopping him from making any movement.
Peter would not admit it if anybody were to ask him later, but he was screaming. His blasters were away from his reach, and the only thing on his body were his briefs. He couldn’t move and to be honest he could not even breathe properly. Thankfully, his scream woke up his captor and the hand loosened a little. Sensing an opportunity, Peter wriggled free of the arms and the blanket, grabbed his blasters and pointed it at his attacker. Blinded by panic Peter, yelled, “Too bad you jackass but your plan to kill in my sleep is not going to work.”
And that’s when things got real weird, real fast. Because there on his bed, lying like that was where he belonged, was the unmistakable form of the God of Thunder, the mighty Thor in all his glory. Only, he looked much different from how Peter remembered him. Gone was the smartly cut dark hair, and the rugged eye patch. His hair was long and blond and he had two blue eyes, instead of one. Eyes which were currently looking at Peter with much confusion.
“What the fuck are you doing on the Benator, blondie?,” yelled Peter, “Better yet what the fuck are you doing in my bedroom! I’m half naked, Jesus Christ!” For some reason, the realization of the last bit bothered Peter a lot more than the others did. He pulled the blanket off the bed and wrapped it around himself.
Thor who had by now propped himself on his elbow, looked at him with glazed eyes. He seemed to bein no hurry to explain himself and said instead, “Cease your antics, Peter. Come back to bed. It's too early.”
Obviously, either Peter was stuck in a weird dream or Thor had had a minor head accident in the recent past - because of that sentence right there? It had a lot of issues. The last time Peter had seen Thor he had told him to take his axe and shove it up his ass. Yeah, not a friendly parting that. Calling them rivals would be polite. Suffice it to say they were not in first name basis, let alone sleeping on the same bed.
“Dude, why the hell would I do that? What’s wrong with you?”
“I grow weary of this,” said Thor, raising his hand and offering it to Peter, “We will talk of this on the morrow, I promise. Now come here, love.”
To say that Peter was stunned would be an understatement. If Gamora hadn’t come banging on the door, he would have stood there, staring at the blond God, his eyes nearly popping out of his socket for the rest of eternity.
“Peter is everything okay?” shouted Gamora from the other side of the door, “I thought I heard you screaming.”
Peter hadn’t recovered too much from his shock that he could deny he ever screamed. Instead, he remained silent. Thor’s demeanor changed and he sat up abruptly. His eyebrows bunched in a frown and there was anger in his eyes the likes of which, if Peter remembered correctly, ended up in something getting broken.
“Who is that woman?” said Thor, his voice coming out as a growl.
Peter found that he couldn’t answer. He was feeling surer and surer that this was a weird dream that he was going to wake up from soon.
“Peter Quill,” said Thor again, getting off the bed and approaching Peter. His wasn’t wearing his red cape and his black chest plates were missing. Why the hell was Peter having a dream about his arch nemesis in a tunic and with oh, bare feet, standing in the middle of his bedroom? Thor got slow close to him that Peter could count the lashes on his eyes. “Do you want to tell me who that woman is or should I send her flying across the edge of the realm.” A hand came up to hold Peter’s chin in a tight grip and he was forced to look at the God.
Peter scowled. This dream felt all too real, and he wasn't going to wait for it to end silently if Thor went around manhandling him. He dug his fingers into the hand that was holding him in place and sneered, “That’s Gamora, you idiot. I knew you were stupid, but not this stupid.”
Right at that moment, Gamora came tearing into the room, one hand clutching her double-edged knife and the other held out in an offensive pose. She dropped both hands promptly as her eyes fell on the intruder. Her eyes widened and her mouth stretched into a grin. “Thor!” she exclaimed happily, then, her voice dropped. “Thor, what are you doing?” Her eyes went back and forth between Peter and Thor, taking in Peter’s semi-nakedness, the way they were standing close to each other and Thor’s hand on Peter’s chin.
Thor released Peter and turned, but did not move away. There was a hand on Peter’s lower back now. It made Peter’s ears and cheeks turn red. Peter sprung away from the burning touch. Thankfully, Thor didn’t seem to notice.
“Have I the pleasure of knowing you?” asked Thor, looking incredulously at Gamora.
Gamora jerked in surprise. The knife she had lowered was now clutched hard. Peter nodded at her from behind exaggeratedly and did a twirling action near his temple. That distracted Gamora and she looked even more confused. He meant to convey Thor was acting crazy; she thought he meant she should repeat her question. He had forgotten how bad the Guardians were with understanding his sign language.
“What are you doing here, Thor?” she asked again, in a much steadier voice this time, as if she were wary of setting off a bomb, “The last time we spoke you said you were going to help rebuild Nidavellir and that you will be gone for a while.”
“Wait, what?” interrupted Peter, before Thor could answer. He narrowed his eyes at Gamora accusingly. “You guys talk? Like talk talk? Behind my back? That’s low, Gamora, very low.”
Thor puffed his chest in a way that suggested that he was the offended party of the lot and said, “I have never spoken to this woman before.”
“Okay, I don't know what game you are playing here," said Peter turning to Thor and pressing a finger against the steel like chest. For some reason, the knowledge of Thor and Gamora had a close relationship, really set him off. “You may be really chummy with Gamora, but not me. We are not friends. So I'm not going take this bullshit. Gamora, take this man and get the hell out of my bedroom. I don’t want anything to do with this.”
“Upon my hammer,” swore Thor, getting hold of Peter’s arm in a tight grip, “You would banish me from my own chambers? What wrong have I committed this time?”
“Your chamber?” asked Peter, his eyebrow high, his lips in a sneer. “Since when is this your chamber?”
Thor curled his hand and brought his fist near Peter’s face. Peter closed his eyes and braced for impact. When it didn’t, he opened one eye and peered. Something was glinting in the dim light near his face. He opened both his eyes and looked on in confusion. Thor wore a metal around his ring finger, that had all the craftsmanship of a toad.
“Since the day we wed?” sighed Thor, his voice tight and tired.
Peter thought it was high time he woke up from his dream.
*
Peter did not wake up from his dream
The following few seconds after that, blond Thor found out that there was no ring on Peter’s fingers and lost his shit. In a fit of rage, he summoned Mjölnir - the very same hammer that had been wiped out of existence even before they had met - and threatened to break Benatar in half if Peter did not find his ring and put it on in that very instant.
That’s when Gamora thought it best to call their friends from work for help. A confused Mantis sprang on top of Thor and helped him calm down, and Drax and Groot got him out of Peter’s room and brought him to the command deck. Rocket trailed after them, befuddled and silent, but only because his jaw was too busy wiping the floor.
“He is angry,” said Mantis, stating the obvious, her round eyes widening, “and hurt. You have hurt him, Peter. He feels betrayed.”
“Yeah, whatever. He’s a basket case,” said Peter, rolling his eyes, but he felt a little funny inside. He didn’t want to dwell on how being married to Thor made him feel - in whatever strange reality that was. “Just keep him under your spell, good Glinda.”
Gamora opened a connection to Earth and hailed the Stark Tower. It was a few minutes before the static turned into a weary face of Tony Stark. It looked like he had just woken up. “There better be a very good reason for this call, Quill.”
“I've got an amnesiac and delusion Thunderdude on board. Does that count as a good reason?”
“How is that a good reason?” snapped Tony, “Isn’t he always like that? It’s two in the morning, Quill. Check time-zones before calling. I’m gonna hang up now.”
“Wait - wait!” Peter grasped the console and said, “He appeared out of no where, didn’t recognize any of the Guardians and he thinks we are fucking married!”
“Yeah, that’s still sounds like Thor,” said Tony, his face deadpan.
“What - no!” said Peter, grabbing a fistful his own hair and wringing it in frustration, “He has his hammer - the mewmew one. The one which supposedly got destroyed.”
That caught Tony’s interest. He looked away from the monitor, tapped furiously on something. “Hey, Starboy, guess what?” said Tony, showing his phone’s screen on the monitor “Thor is in Nidavellir and says ‘hi’.” Sure enough, a grinning face of Thor the way they knew him - short hair, uneven eyes and a smug look on his face appeared on the screen. His grin turned sour and his eyes narrowed - possibly after having seen Peter.
“Quill,” grunted the real Thor, addressing Peter the way he was supposed to and all was well in the world.
Then blond Thor behind them groaned, waking up. Everything went to shits.
*
“What do you mean you already have a Thor? I am the only Thor!” Thor was pacing so hard that Benator dipped whichever side he went. The Guardians watched warily. It had taken their combined strength to calm the God down once he had discovered he had been sedated forcefully. Rocket plotted a course to Earth and Gamora was at the helm, helping him pilot the ship. They had to get their - er, situation - to the Avengers, as soon as possible. The other Thor, the real Thor, was meeting them there and he was far from pleased that two of them existed - especially one who wielded his Mjölnir.
“No, you are not. You just met the other guy,” snapped Peter.
“He must be an imposter,” said Thor, striding towards Peter and placing his hands on the smaller man’s shoulders. He was too close again, getting into Peter's space in a way that was extremely weird. His blue eyes were open and sincere, and unlike what Peter was used to seeing directed at him. It made him feel funny.
“We all must be imposters then, dickwad,” said Peter, lashing out because that's what he was good at, “None of us recognize you.”
Thor's face visibly crumbled. His hands trembled - those strong, steel-like arms, trembled, as he raised his hand to cup Peter’s cheek, “Love, if it is a misdeed you want to punish, then punish me by any other means but this. This is too - too painful.” Damn, this guy made the act almost too believable. Peter was almost starting to believe that the blonde Thor was married to him - well at, least in some reality that was far, far from his.
Peter froze. His scowl dropping and eyebrows bunching up in a frown. “How did we meet?” asked Peter, a little hesitant. He wanted to know, yet he did not want to know. Because even if it were a different version of them, it was still Peter Quill and Thor Odinson. What miracle must have happened for the impossible to have become possible?
“You really aren’t my Peter, are you?” said Thor, his eyes narrowing. His hands dropped and Peter felt a world of difference when Thor moved away taking all the warmth with him.
“No,” said Peter, his voice neutral. Gamora turned on her seat and gave him a strange look. Peter raised his eyebrows in questioning, but she shook her head and turned back.
“We met by fate’s design,’ said Thor, softly and his eyes unfocused like he was recalled a fond memory, “We met in a tavern in Quxomein. You challenged me to a game of ale.” He was smiling then, and his eyes crinkled in merriment.
“That’s not how we met in this reality,” said Peter, automatically, but his mind was stuck imagining what it would have been like to meet Thor in a bar, instead of in a battlefield. They must have met before the Guardians were formed but after the Avengers. He seemed to know the odd Terran band just fine.
“Reality -” said Thor, his face dawning with realization. “What you suggest, it's too incredulous!”
“All I’m saying is,” said Peter, trying to convince both the God and himself, “you must have done something, triggered a rip in space continuum and got thrown into this universe.”
“That would require a lot of…..” said Thor starting off vehement, but his voice trailed off unsurely.
“Did you do something stupid like that, blue,” called out Rocket from his seat. So they were still listening on their conversation. What a bunch of creeps, thought Peter. Then immediately regretted that thought, because why shouldn’t they listen. It wasn’t like they were actually a married couple.
Thor turned in Rocket’s director and gave him a sullen look, but answered, “We were trying to destroy the Tesseract. Which is a small, blue cube -”
“We know what the Tesseract is! Hasn’t it been destroyed yet?”
“No,” said Thor, his eyes narrowing, “Though, it seems I was right in my decision to destroy it. The Midgardians weren’t too pleased with the idea, nor were the Asgardians, but in the wrong hands it would spell disaster -”
“You mean Thanos didn’t take it already?”
Peter was so shocked by the discrepancies in their timelines that he kept interrupting Thor. “I am Groot,” said Groot, looking up from his magazine of trees in odd positions.
“He’s right, Peter,” said Rocket, “Don’t eat his head, let the man talk.”
“Thanos, the mad titan? He seeks the Tesseract?”
“He will seek the infinity stones,” said Peter, correcting him, “So, yes, you did the right thing by destroying the Space stone. Did you destroy it?”
“We were attempting to,” said Thor, pacing again with a hand going up through his long locks, “You told me the Orb would help destroy it. So we were working on harnessing its power to break the Tesseract.”
Peter let that sink in. Power stone to destroy the Space stone and not expect singularity to happen? Peter hated to admit it, but sometimes his ideas sucked. “Are you sure it was my idea?” Peter had to check.
“Yes, love,” said Thor, beaming, “You are the smart one. I’m your muscle.” He made a show of throwing up his bicep and flexing it.
“So, the last thing you remember is destroying the stone?” said Peter, ignoring how that smile and the flexing made him feel.
“No, the last thing I remember is you falling asleep in my arms.”
Rocket made a sneezing sound. All the other guardians sat suspiciously still as if they were trying hard to not make any moment. Peter felt his ears burn.
“Well, fuck that.”
*
The journey back to Earth would take them a week, and Peter dreaded spending all that time with this vanilla Thor. That’s Peter had gotten to calling him in his head. He was still the boastful, temperamental Asgardian, but he hadn’t lost anybody in his life yet and that made a world of difference. His story almost, always seemed center around Peter - well, the other Peter: Peter and Thor met, Peter and Thor fell in love, Peter bet some humility and sense into Thor and Peter stopped Thor from making bad decisions, Peter and Thor got married. No Jane Foster, no Gamora, no trusting Loki and leaving Asgard behind, no Ragnarok and definitely, no infinity gauntlet. His story was plain and boring. Peter told him so.
“What’s boring about being in love?” said Thor, looking at him as if he were the crazy one. They were back in Peter’s room. Thor refused to take any other room but this, claiming it was as much his as it was Peter’s. “It is most exciting! I suggest you approach this Thor and court him. No doubt he will accept. Any version of me not wanting to bed you could only be a eunuch!”
Peter nearly choked. His face turned red and his stomach twisted in knots. “Don’t even suggest something like that ever again. Especially not in front of Thor. Not if you want me to help you go back home.”
“What is this I sense?” said Thor, his lips curving into a smirk, “Do you already have a hidden desire for Thor?”
“What? No!” said Peter, shaking his head and trying to sidestep, but his back hit the wall and he found himself trapped between Thor’s arms. “There’s no desire. Only disinterest. Apathy and nonchalance.”
“You lie,” said Thor, his smirk turning into a full-fledged grin. “You heart beats like a fiend, your face is the color burning coal and your eyes -” he voice dipped, and Thor leaned into to blow hot air against Peter’s ear, “your eyes reveal what you dare not speak.”
Mortified, Peter closed his eyes. It was a very inappropriate time to get a hardon, but his body went and betrayed him doing just that. He was never going to be able to look at Thor and not remember this day. He was truly fucked.
“I’m going to kill you, you bastard.”
Thor smiled, a glint to his eyes and said, “And I’ll be your chaperone as you court the other Thor.”