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You can see him through the corner of your eye. His arms are locked behind his head and his eyes look forward, uninterested in Laius and Marcille’s bickering a couple steps further. The torches lined on the wall give his skin a warm glow, and you can't help but admire him while you advance through the corridor.
It seems you were staring for a bit too long though since he turns his head to look at you, an inquisitive sound leaving his lips.
-"Ah, sorry" you mutter embarrassed as you look away.
Chilchack hesitates for a second before lowering his arms and matching his speed to yours
-"Are you okay?" He asks, trying to hide his concern behind an uninterested voice.
-"Yeah, I’m fine" you smile at him. Silence falls between you, your footsteps and the chatting ahead the only noise. It seems Senshi had joined the conversation now, which left just the two of you walking behind.
-"How much till we leave these hallways? Not having other exit than the path itself makes me uneasy" He takes the map out and runs some calculations through his head before answering
-"We should be reaching a clearing soon. We will set camp there"
You can’t wait till you reach it and can finally curl on your bed and don't wake up till it’s your turn to be on lookout. That is, if you don’t get the first shift. You really hope that’s not the case, because you might give out in the middle if you don’t get a few minutes of shuteye first.
As if prompted by your thoughts, a yawn escapes you.
-"You tired?"
-"Yeah. Still not used to the night-watch thing I guess"
While this is true, its only part of the problem, and he knows it. While most senses might not catch it, he can definitely hear you whimper in your sleep while you toss and turn at night
At first he thought it a one time thing. Everyone has bad dreams every now and then. But yours seemed to come back every night. It reached the point where he even checked your pillow for nightmares, but since there weren’t any he concluded this was just your mind's doing.
He decided not to mention it though. Cause, what could he do anyways? Sing you to sleep? No, he would rather face a mimic than be caught singing. ...well, maybe not. Mimics are nasty. Still no signing though, they wouldn't let him live it down, like last time when he-
A few chuckles broke him from his reverie.
-"Are you okay?"
While he was lost in his thoughts an array of emotions had flashed through his face to settle into a pouting frown. It was both a bizarre and amusing spectacle to behold.
Flustered at being caught he tried to conceal his blush with a few coughs into his hand before replying
-"Y-Yeah. You seem to be a bit red though. It suits you" Fuck. He had absolutely not meant that last line to go through. It had been a haphazard attempt to deviate the attention from him yet now he could feel his ears heating up. Damn it, he used to be so smooth at the tavern, what was so different now??
You, on the other hand, aren’t sure if you were actually blushing before or not, but you can definitely feel the blood rushing to your cheeks now. It didn’t do much to keep a laugh for escaping you at the sight of his ears reddening though. Great, you now both looked like ripe cherries. Sensei might even come pick you up.
Luckily for you the clearing came into sight. It wasn’t much, just a room with brick walls and hard floors like every other in this level. At least it had a tiny fountain in one of the walls so you could refill your waterskins without leaving the camp
(Unbeknown to you, Chilchack was especially relieved by this fact due to a previous not so nice experience)
You quickly all set into motion, you and Marcille starting a fire for Senshi to cook in while Laius and Chilchack set the beds.
-"...and this is how you complete the circle" Marcille finished. You had asked her to teach you about magic rituals and cantrips. It was purely out of curiosity since you didn’t plan on dabbling out of your expertise zone while in the dungeon, but she seemed thrilled to have someone listen to her theories regardless.
You were finding it particularly hard to pay attention today though. It felt like you would fall asleep any moment.
-"Maybe you could go to sleep early tonight?" she interrupted your thoughts and then added "you don't look too good"
-"No, sorry. I just spaced out" you rushed out and smiled at her. She's so nice. "Here, lend me your waterskin, I’ll go refill it"
She seemed a bit hesitant but held it towards you anyways. You grabbed it and were ready to leave but you felt her soft hand on yours "It's okay if you need to take it easy tonight, just let us know"
Once again you smiled at her and after what you hoped was a reassuring "of course" left towards the fountain.
It’s not that you don’t trust them; you do, and you’re very grateful for what they've done for you. If it weren't for them you'd probably still be lost on the 3rd level and god knows you wouldn’t last another night there.
This is also the reason why you’re making such an effort. They didn’t have to take you with them yet they did, so you feel like you owe them and makes you want to do your best to help.
There's also the gnawing fear of them leaving you behind. While they don't seem like the kind of people, you're scared they might deem you a burden and decide they can't take you along anymore if the only thing you do is deplete their resources. Just the idea brings chills to your spine, but you shake them off. They wouldn't do that.
Hopefully
Anyways, nightmares aren't even that bad really, they're just bad dreams that will eventually go away and let you rest and achieve your maximum potential. You might not even have them tonight!
With these thoughts in mind you reach the fountain and submerge the waterskin, bubbles rising to the surface. It fills up and you are back to Marcille in a flash, unaware of a pair of brown eyes watching you.
--- --- ---
After a good meal the party is ready to go to sleep. But first comes the lookout shift sorting. Laius pulls out the sticks and holds them in his hand for everyone to take.
"I got the middle one" says Marcille and immediately gets in her bed. It seems you weren't the only one dying to hit the hay.
"Ah, I think this is the shortest one" Chilchack holds the stick he just drew in between his index and thumb, examining it with an indifferent expression. It didn’t really matter to him which turn he took, he was used to staying up and being first or last made no difference to him.
Then he turned to look at you staring at your stick, an exhausted look in your eyes. It seems he was mistaken, because yours was definitely shorter.
"I'm first" you announced trying but failing to conceal a yawn. While you were trying to seem fine, it was obvious your eyes were having trouble staying open.
"You're clearly tired; I’ll take your shift"
"What, no way!" You complained, some energy returning to you "that's hardly fair-"
"I’m not saying I’ll take both shifts, I’ll just swap mine with yours" your eyes searched his for any hesitance, but he seemed to already have made up his mind.
"...alright" you conceded, putting the stick back and making your way into your bed "you'll wake me up in a few hours, right?" Another yawn.
"Yeah" he nodded, lighting up a candle and sitting in his bed, beside yours.
"Okay..." You had meant to stay up and chat with him for a bit, maybe thank him, but as soon as your head touched the pillow you were out like a light.
Unfortunately, that didn’t mean you had fallen into peaceful slumber. It seems your mind was bent on relieving any past trauma hidden in your head, giving you a restless sleep. This was noticed by a certain Halfling, which was neither surprised nor amused.
It’s not like he had expected them to stop from one day to the other, but it didn’t keep him from hoping so. It was sad to watch you writhe under the covers, a distraught expression marring your features. He felt like it was also taking a toll on him.
A quiet whimper left your lips and he looked around to see if anyone had woken up. No one moved. Probably a mix of being asleep and not having senses as keen as his.
You turned again and your hand shot out of the covers, as if looking for something. Startled, he checked and you were indeed still asleep. Maybe you were reaching out for something in your dreams.
Your hand would get cold out in the open and against the rock floor, he reasoned, so he took it in his own and made a move to return it to the bed's warmth. Or that was the plan until he realized that you wouldn’t let go.
He tried lightly pulling but your fingers wouldn’t budge. He could try and pry them open, but that could wake you up. That’s when he realized you weren’t moving as much anymore.
Your face wasn't serenity incarnate but at least it no longer had a look of anguish. There were some tear streaks he hadn’t noticed before though.
He instinctively raised a hand to wipe them, but immediately pulled it back and looked away, cheeks aflame. What the hell was he doing? This was hardly appropriate, and borderline creepy.
He took a couple of seconds to gather his thoughts and then looked back, glancing at your intertwined hands. That was okay, though, right? He was doing it for your own goo-for the party's good. It seems you rest better when holding something and it would be bad if your condition kept worsening, so this was for the best, right? Right?
It didn’t really matter if he successfully convinced himself or not though, because a single look at your placid face and how you held his hand close to your chest was enough to make the decision.
That’s how he ended up holding your hand for the duration of his shift while swearing it was completely professional, and later, for the rest of the night.