Archive of Our Own

“This place is a death trap,” Peridot looked up from her machine at the voice of her best friend and roommate, Lapis Lazuli. Despite the expansive and echoey nature of the warehouse Peridot worked in, the other girl always managed to sneak up on her.

“It's only a death trap if you aren't careful,” Peridot shrugged nonchalantly, “I always turn off everything when I'm working on it. I have no intention of losing any fingers or toes.”

Lapis, making sure her flowing skirt was well away from the gears and belts of the inert machine anyway, sat gracefully beside her friend, “I came to make sure you eat.”

“Eat?” Peridot startled, “Is it lunch time already?”

Turning an exasperated look on the metal bender, Lapis sighed, “Actually it's dinner time.”

“....Oh,” Peridot replied, giving Lapis a sheepish look, “I guess that's why my tummy hurts.”

“Come on, brainiac,” Lapis urged, “Let's get some food in you before you keel over again.” She rose to her feet and held out a hand to pull Peridot with her, “And we're not going to eat here. We're getting you some fresh air.”

As Peridot followed behind her, she glanced at the slim backpack Lapis was sporting, “How's this working out for you?” She said, giving the strap a tug. “Need any adjustments?”

“What? Oh the pack. Honestly, even with that much water in it, it's still light enough that I can forget it's there.” Lapis paused about ten feet from the door and made a sweeping motion with her hand.

From the top of the pack, a cork popped out and water began to flow up, answering the water bender's call. It went up and up and up in a huge, but slim, column, seeming to be more than the small pack could carry.

The water curved around and down and swirled around Peridot playfully, eliciting a giggle. “The trick was to spread the bladder out into the straps. That way it carries more, but distributes the weight out.”

“It's genius.” Lapis said plainly, watching a flush sprout on her friend's cheeks. “Thank you again for doing this. It makes me feel… safer.”

“Your peace of mind is my peace of mind, Lapis,” Peridot replied with an expression so earnest that Lapis found herself blushing now. She swiftly guided the water back into her pack before she lost control of it.

“I'll have even more once you figure out what weapon you're best at,” Lapis reached out to pat Peridot's head, hand sliding down to cup her face, “In the meantime, have you been carrying metal around like I asked?”

“Yes, dear,” Peridot said, rolling her eyes but tone affectionate, “I have a pocket full of bearings, one of those collapsible rods, and a few small armor plates. Jasper and her ilk will not catch us unawares again.”

Just her name made Lapis's hair stand on end, “I still don't like you being out here alone, especially when you tend to lose track of time. Have you been working on those alarms?”

The guilty look Peridot gave her was all she needed to know the answer. “I need pegs and twine and I can set up some rudimentary perimeter sensors.”

Lapis gave her a look, “We'll go after dinner. You need to be taking your safety more seriously.”

“I do, Lapis! I've simply been working on other projects and…. Forgot,” Peridot was desperate to reassure her friend.

Lapis regarded her for a long moment, then gave a little smile, “That's why you have me.”

_________

Peridot's machines were her obsessions. She'd get an idea in her head and that would be all she could think about until she saw it to either complete success or total failure. Even then, she was always looking for ways to tweak her older projects, either to make them work or make them more efficient.

Her current idea was a more efficient electrical engine. She was taking ideas from the way the Satomobile’s combustion engine kept its continual motion, coupled with the way the city’s generators held power from the lightning benders. The problem Peridot had been having was having a strong enough battery to get the whole thing started without the initial power source taking up the entire room.

She’d been working tirelessly on the problem, experimenting with different chemical reactions in order to invent a stronger, but smaller battery. She thought she might have something with her acid and lead based contraption and had created several prototypes.

It was starting to get dark by the time Peridot was ready to test her next battery out. It was huge, but not as big as some she’d seen at the factory she’d grown up working in. She hooked the thick wires up to her generator, the side panels open so that she could watch the progress of the rotating gears, turning belts, and thrusting pistons.

With a deep breath, she reached down and dropped the final connection in, completing the circuit. With a thunderous grinding noise, the whole contraption started up, magnets running through wires in an effort to keep the whole thing self contained. Peridot held her breath, watching and waiting for it to stop.

It didn’t.

“Ha,” Peridot breathed incredulously, “Haha. Ha! Haha! I did it! I finally did it!”

She wished Lapis was here to share in her joy, but the other girl had been invited out by Steven for a night on the town. Peridot had all but forced her to go; she’d seen how the stresses of the past few months had started to take their toll. After Jasper’s confrontation with Lapis at the lake, a mistake on the firebender’s part, she’d been glued to Peridot’s side, taking care of her.

Peridot wasn’t oblivious, Lapis refused to tell her exactly what had been said, but she knew there had been threats against her. There was no other reason for Lapis, usually aloof and uncomfortable with closeness, to suddenly be so clingy. While Peridot’s usual miscare of herself was a convenient excuse for Lapis to stick near, it wasn’t like it was something new. Peridot didn’t want to say that Lapis had never cared about her well-being before, because that was patently false, but she’d never gone out of her way to make sure Peridot missed as few meals as possible.

She enjoyed their new found closeness and the way Lapis wouldn’t take the excuse that Peridot was used to missing meals anymore. She enjoyed the way her roommate doted on her, held her hand, touched her face or looked at her like she wanted to remember Peridot’s features for when they were apart. It made little butterflies swarm in her belly, it made her want to return the favor.

She had, too! Peridot was determined not to let Lapis do all the work, so she’d buy her plants and make breakfast before she left for the warehouse, and she’d designed Lapis’s new waterpack, and the blades in the tip of her boots. She wanted her friend to feel safe and secure and the best way to do that was to make sure she was armed at all times.

Peridot smiled and patted her pocket, where a handful of metal bearings jingled at her touch. Lapis wanted her armed, too, even though Peridot was an abysmal fighter. She sighed, content in the thought of her pretty roommate and standing in front of her newest achievement. She needed to take notes and stop daydreaming, so Peridot turned to reach for a clipboard and record her findings.

As she turned, though, she heard the unmistakable sound of clanking cans, cold fear shooting through her chest as she realized what that was.

Her proximity sensors.

Lapis knew where they all were and how to avoid them, even in the low light. Besides, she was with Steven and wouldn’t be back at their apartment until much later. Peridot hoped that it might just be an animal, scurrying along her property, but then the sound of a loud, male voice reached her ears, emitting a curse as the alarm clanked again.

Her pocket exploded as the metal bearings shot into action, a flick of her wrist sending them floating around her. Peridot’s legs instinctively widened as she slid into a firm bending stance, taking comfort in the steady concrete under her feet. Footsteps approached from the wide door where the alarm had been tripped and Peridot focused on the area, readying her metal to strike.

A large hand grabbed her fist from behind and Peridot shrieked, half of her bearings dipping as part of her control slipped before they snapped back into place. She looked up at the huge figure that had silently snuck up on her, finding a familiar face crossed with burn scars grinning down at her maliciously.

“Hello again, Peridot,” Jasper said, her thrice broken nose giving her face a flat, thuggish look, “I told Lapis I’d be seeing you soon. Was she the one that had you put up all the cute yard decorations? You need to hide the strings better if you want them to actually work as alarms.”

To her horror, Peridot realized that Jasper was far from alone. She already knew about the one that had actually tripped her alarm, he was coming in with string around his boot, but nine other thugs filed into Peridot’s workspace after him. She swallowed hard and tried to look tough, but she knew she was visibly pale and shaking, “I got one of you.” She said, voice trembling.

Jasper barked a cruel laugh, “I suppose statistically you would have had to, right nerd?”

“That’s a big word coming from you, you ember,” Peridot growled, readying her power as Jasper’s gang encircled them fully. She just had to clear a path and then she could bolt. She’d go to the sewer grate just outside the warehouse and to the right, hop in, and run as far as she could.

She’d hit the small guy in front of her and on her left with the bearings, then drive a slab of concrete between her and Jasper, then dive between the legs of the tall girl and go. She subtly twisted her foot, feeling the earth beneath her yearning to come to her beck and call.

“Where’s Lapis?” Jasper asked, amusement gone from her voice, “You bastards may not have been very sneaky with this place, but whatever rat hole you two are residing in now we can’t find. Tell us where that is and I’ll spare you.”

“I’ll never give up, Lapis!” Peridot shouted defiantly, “I’ll never betray her, nothing you can do to me will make me talk.”

Before Jasper could respond, Peridot struck. The fingers of the hand currently not being held snapped out and her metal responded with surprising force. The bearings flew forward and impacted the small guy’s body, then continued through him, half impacting the girl standing behind him. She screamed in pain at dozens of tiny, metal balls buried themselves into her flesh. The small guy had no chance, he was dead before he hit the ground.

Peridot, for a precious half second, was stunned. There was no way her tiny gesture should have had that much power behind it. She’d only meant to stun him, not kill him. She couldn’t stop, not now, she had to keep going. She lifted her foot, intending to stomp down and separate herself from Jasper, but, quite suddenly, she was in the air.

Jasper jerked her captive arm hard and straight up, making her shoulder wrench painfully, then grabbed her other hand and held her fist closed with crushing force. Peridot yelled and kicked and flailed and struggled, metal plates and rods and parts flying dangerously around the room as if in a storm. A slab of sheet metal sliced into the neck of someone behind her, severing his jugular. A pole impaled through a girl’s stomach, her scream blood curdling as her insides were dragged into the open, then into the thigh of man running away behind her, pinning him deep into the concrete.

She could feel it, she could feel the metal reacting to her desperation. With just a thought, she was pulling conduits loose from the wall, calling her tools from across the room, turning spare parts into deadly weapons. She wouldn’t touch her machine, though, not her hard work, she couldn’t stand the thought of ruining it. Besides, she had enough weapons around her without sacrificing that.

Gravity changed and Peridot felt herself falling. No, she was being pushed, towards the ground, a large hand cupped the back of her head and her face met the concrete with enough for to break her glasses and bloody her nose. The storm of metal stopped, clanging to the ground noisily as her focus broke. The world spun for Peridot, she could barely listen to Jasper’s enraged voice, even right next to her ear.

“You little fuck! Tell me where Lapis is!” Jasper screamed, shaking Peridot when she refused to talk. Her eyes, amber with fury, alighted around the room for something to use to make Peridot talk.

The machine still ran, it’s huge, central gear spinning steadily with a slow clack, clack, clack. Jasper eyed the place where the gears meshed together. Her mind worked and a slow, cruel smile spread across her face.

“Boys,” She called to the five remaining thugs and they gathered around dutifully. Jasper jerked her chin towards the machine, “Feed her to the meat grinder, one limb at a time, until she either tells us where Lapis is or doesn’t have a leg to stand on.”

The thugs were on Peridot like a pack of wolves, just as enraged as Jasper was about losing their friends and comrades to a runt. Peridot struggled, tried to call to the metal and the earth, but the blow to the head left her foggy and unfocused and the most she could manage was making them shake ominously.

Soon after that, her world melted to nothing, but pain.

____________________

The night was bright and beautiful. Lapis couldn’t really make out the stars, even from the beach of Air Temple Island, but it certainly felt like it had cleaner air than downtown. She was relaxed, happy for once, Steven at her side chatting about some dream he’d had about her having wings. She had to admit that flying had a certain appeal and the two discussed the logistics of trying to use water for wings.

She’d have to remember to thank Peridot for making her come tonight, Lapis really hadn’t realized how burned out she’d made herself until she had a chance to actually relax. It was hard not to worry about her roommate right now, but Steven was doing his very best to distract her and Lapis was trying very hard to let it work. They were currently on their second lap around the island, one that Lapis had insisted be their last so that she could make sure that Peridot had actually managed to tear herself away from her work long enough to eat something.

The two of them had been off the streets for nearly a year now, but Peridot still worked like if she didn’t she wouldn’t get fed. Lapis had tried her best to break her friend of this habit, but Peridot had been trained from nearly the time she could walk to work sixteen hour days. She almost never ate lunch and the meals that she did eat were tiny, packed with protein, and eaten like there was a threat of it being confiscated.

Lapis, who’d grown up with both parents and only working odd jobs when school let out for the summer, had no idea what the kind of life that left behind those habits must have been like. Certainly, Lapis hadn’t been wealthy and, after both her parents died and she’d joined a street gang to survive, definitely knew hardship and hunger. Peridot, however, was born in a gutter and lived in a gutter and survived in a gutter until the gang took her in at nearly sixteen.

There were stronger fighters, better benders, and bigger members, but no one could match her brain. She’d impressed Lapis with her constant inventing, after she got past the word vomit the girl spewed almost without pause, coming up with a flame retardant foam that ended up keeping the kitchen from burning down in their hideout. She’d even managed to master, not only, earthbending after getting a late start on training that, but she’d discovered she was a metal bender, too, and worked hard to do that.

They’d left the gang in different ways and, even though they’d had a rocky start when they met up again, Peridot had worked hard to patch that up, too. Shaking her head, Lapis smiled faintly, she really couldn’t stop thinking about her lately.

“Steven, I really need to go home now,” She said, interrupting their comfortable silence.

“You could stay the night,” Steven offered sweetly.

“I need to make sure Peridot eats,” Lapis chuckled with good humor.

“She can stay, too,” Steven said, grinning proudly at his solution, “We can call her from the Temple, tell her to hop a boat or you can go get her.”

Lapis grinned back, “Okay, Steven, let’s go call her.”

The walk back to the Temple didn’t take much time, they entered in the back through the kitchen, tucking their shoes away respectfully so they wouldn’t track in dirt or sand. They heard unfamiliar voices down the hall and followed them curiously. Lapis perked up when she heard her name, an uneasy feeling settling in her gut.

Standing in the entrance hall were two, uniformed men talking to Garnet and Pearl; all faces present were grim.

“What’s happened?” Lapis asked slowly, pausing a good distance away from the group. She didn’t like the sympathetic looks they were all giving her.

“Are you Lapis Lazuli?” One of the men asked, voice gentle and low, the way one might talk to a scared animal.

“Who wants to know?” Defensive now, Lapis snapped at him warily. She knew what they wanted, what they had come to say, there was only one person she cared enough about to warrant this and she was the only one not present. Her eyes stung with tears that she refused to let fall.

“We’re with the police. Your friend said we’d find you here. You should come with us, Miss Lazuli, we’ll escort you to the hospital.”

_________________________

Peridot was asleep when Lapis arrived and she'd had never been more grateful for that fact when she saw the extent of the damage. Peridot’s legs and arms were severed below the knee and elbow joints. Lapis listened as the doctor casually explained that they had been mangled in some sort of machinery accident and that the huge woman that brought Peridot in had explained where to find the ‘Lapis’ that Peridot keep calling out for in her pain filled delirium.

She barely even felt Steven's hand on her arm as she sat down heavily on the chair next to Peridot's need, “We need to leave.”

“Leave?” Steven asked in shock, “But where will you go? The city is your home.”

“I lived in the Northern Water Tribe when I was young. We'll go back there,” Lapis said, feeling like she was talking outside of her body. She wanted to reach up and take Peridot's hand, fingers twitching at the urge to touch.

“What about Pumpkin?” At the thought of her and Peridot's pet dove turtle, Lapis groaned.

“She needs to be fed. I'd hate to leave her behind, but she wouldn't survive the cold. Would you take care of her for us?” Finally glancing away from Peridot, Lapis sent Steven a pleading look.

He caved after only a moment, “Of course. I won't force you to do something you're afraid of, but I really wish you'd stay.”

“Look what Jasper did to her, what she could do to you next. If you were smart, you'd run too.” Lapis said, voice low with pain.

“This city needs us,” Steven said simply, “And it's my home. Please, talk to Peridot about this before you just go.”

That seemed like the least she could do, so Lapis nodded and turned her face back to watch her roommate sleep.

________

Peridot woke up on the middle of the night.

Lapis had fallen asleep sometime earlier, arms crossed over each other and placed on the bed, head nestled in the crook of her elbow. Peridot sat up and looked down at her, admiring the way the moonlight peering through the window played along the curves of Lapis's face, seeming to give her an ethereal kind of beauty.

Then Peridot looked down at herself, broken, misshapen, no longer whole. How could she ever be good enough for Lapis? As a roommate, a friend, a lover? She wasn't dead, Jasper was very careful about that, because death would have been a mercy. Instead, she'd made Peridot vulnerable and useless.

She swallowed hard against her choking tears. She didn't want to risk waking Lapis up with her crying. Taking a deep breath, Peridot tried to quell her thoughts and push the memories from the incident from her mind.

Shifting a bit, Peridot searched for a more comfortable position, nearly falling over as she unbalanced herself and couldn't quite catch herself without any limbs. She bumped Lapis, sending her jerking upright in a near panic.

Both girls froze as they locked eyes.

“Peridot…” Lapis breathed, the sound breaking a spell of stillness in the room. “You're awake!”

Peridot found herself suddenly engulfed in warm, comforting arms. Lapis was making a strange, hitching breath noise against her shoulder and Peridot was stunned to realize that she was crying.

They'd known each other in the gang, been roommates and friends for a long time. In recent months, they'd taken to sharing their innermost thoughts and fears with each other. Peridot had never known Lapis to cry.

“All that for me?” Peridot whispered once Lapis had pulled back and they looked each other in the face.

“I was worried about you, Peridot,” Lapis said, cupping her friend's cheeks, “I'm glad you're alright.”

“I'm not, though,” Peridot shook her head, pulling away from Lapis’s touch and ignoring the hurt look sent her way. “I'm literally half of who I was yesterday. Jasper, she knew what she was doing, but I didn't say anything. I didn't tell her where we were.”

“She did this to try and find me?” Lapis asked, stricken. She knew, of course she knew, but having it confirmed was more than just knowing in her gut that Peridot’s injuries were her fault.

“No, Jasper did this because she’s a psycho and a bully and I killed five of her men. Her obsession with you is just a convenient excuse to do terrible things to someone smaller than her,” Peridot tried to cross her arms petulantly, as she was wont to do, but the tender ends of her arms brushed together and she hissed at the sudden pain.

Lapis opened her mouth to argue, to take the blame, because Jasper wouldn’t even care of Peridot if it weren’t because of Lapis, but she paused, “... you killed five of her men? On purpose?”

It was so out of character for the Peridot that had been Lapis’s roommate for a year. Maybe the Peridot she had first met in the gang might have buried someone in rubble and walked away, but this Peridot cried when they found a dead bird in the windowsill. Lapis had a hard time believing the Peridot that tried so hard to be good would have killed five people.

“Not really on purpose. Not at first,” Peridot admitted quietly, “I found out a neat thing about my bending. Apparently I’m more powerful the more I’m panicked. I hit this guy will those ball bearings and they went through him like a bullet and got the girl behind him. Then Jasper picked me up and tried to restrain my hands, but metal just started flying around and that’s how I got the other three. Then she…” Peridot trailed off, shuddering faintly.

“Then she what?” Lapis asked, pressing on masochistically.

“They fed me to my machine,” Peridot snorted, the irony suddenly hitting her, “I was literally the author of my own demise. I had just gotten the damn thing working, now I never want to see another gear for as long as I live.” She sighed deeply and slumped a bit, “I think they’d been following me for a while. Thank the stars that you made us take such a circuitous route back to our apartment or she might have been waiting for us there.”

Lapis shook her head slowly, “We shouldn’t have to live in fear, it shouldn’t be like this. You should have never gotten hurt.” her voice hitched on the last word and Lapis had to pause to take a deep, shaky breath. “We should leave.”

Peridot whipped her head around in shock, “Leave? Where would we go? This city is our home.”

Feeling a sense of deja vu, Lapis replied, “I was born in the Northern Water Tribe.”

“Isn’t it really cold?” Peridot asked, brows furrowing in concern, “What about Pumpkin? I don’t think she’d survive. I don’t think I’d survive, not like this.”

“Steven could look after her and we’ll go after you’ve healed some.” Leaning forward, Lapis let her hand rest on Peridot’s forearm, just about where her bandages ended and tried to smile comfortingly, “I can start making arrangements, get us a place to stay, maybe some new identities if my forger guy is still living there.”

Peridot stared at her in astonishment, looking down from Lapis’s desperately hopeful expression to the way her hand lay so intimately on Peridot’s arm. Inevitably, Peridot’s eyes drew to the sudden end in the middle of her forearm and she felt a painful pressure in her chest.

“You should go without me.”

Lapis’s smile faded in a heartbeat, “Wh-What? Without you?”

Peridot turned to give the most bleak and despondent look Lapis had ever seen on her face, “I’ll never leave this city. I was born here, grew up here, and now,” she held up her stumped arms for emphasis, “I’m going to die here.”

“No,” Lapis argued, shaking her head, “No, you aren’t.”

“Yes I am, Lapis,” Peridot let out an aggravated breath, “I’m going to require constant care for the rest of my life. Which will probably be very short considering I don’t have that kind of money.”

“I’ll take care of you.” Lapis said without missing a beat.

“I’m not going to be a burden on you!” Peridot shot back sharply.

“You’re not!” Lapis stood suddenly, fists clenched at her sides. She glared at Peridot for a moment before her gaze began to gradually soften, “You’re my-” She cut herself off, sighed, then tried again, struggling with her words,” You’re my friend, you’re my- You’re-” Gritting her teeth, Lapis forced the confession out in a tiny whisper, “more than that,” Then her voice went back to a normal volume, “and I don’t intend to leave you behind.”

Despite the turmoil roiling through her belly, Peridot allowed her heart to flutter at Lapis’s words. Less than a year ago Lapis hadn’t been able to stand being near her and now, this. She didn’t let herself be happy for long, “You have no idea what you’re getting into.”

“When have we ever?” Lapis asked, moving to sit next to Peridot on the bed. She leaned down and pressed her lips to Peridot’s temple, “But we’ll figure it out together.”

_____________________

The next few weeks were about as close to hell as either girl had ever been.

Peridot was depressed and angry and generally unpleasant to be around. She had to rely on Lapis for everything, especially the embarrassing and disgusting stuff, and sometimes it hurt her pride so much that she wanted to die. She hadn’t lost the reflexes she had of trying to reach out with hand or foot to do any number of things. This resulted in her falling over, a lot, and she had a near perpetual case of rug burn on her chin and elbows. She was sulky and quiet, unless she was throwing a temper tantrum and she could hardly sleep at night for all the crying and the nightmares.

For Lapis’s part, she found the emotional burden to be far heavier than the physical one. Peridot had always been light, so maneuvering her around the apartment now was even easier. She didn’t mind doing the chores in the house or any of the things she needed to do to care for Peridot. She’d even become desensitized to the cleanliness routines that Peridot required now and the two often bathed together.

The hardest part about all of this stemmed from the fact that Lapis had always been a rather quiet, melancholy child, even before her parents’ deaths.

She was not outgoing, she did not enjoy being on the speaking end of long conversations, she was frequently depressed and rarely truly cheerful, especially after all the things she’d been through since her childhood. She also rarely had to put up with anyone’s shit. Now she had to try her hardest to fill the gaps that Peridot left with her sullen silences and bad moods. She had to sit there and take the tantrums and sniping remarks.

The hardest part was not snapping back when Peridot said something particularly ruthless and, sometimes, the only thing that kept her from doing so was the memory of the first time she’d done it. Peridot was being unreasonable and unfair and she’d put her in her place with her usual lack of tact. Peridot’s face had flushed more red than Lapis had ever seen it before, the blood rising from underneath her collar and crawling up her neck, face, and ears until she resembled a tomato. Lapis had quieted while she watched this happen, realizing that it wasn’t a flush of anger, but of shame.

With a sinking feeling, she recognized that Peridot already knew she was being unreasonable and unfair, she knew that she was being a dick to Lapis and she knew that her disability was not an excuse for her behavior, but she couldn’t stop herself from lashing out. She’d reverted back to how she was while in the gang, putting up a shield of brusque words and actions to protect herself from pain.

Lapis had tried to apologize, but Peridot had snapped at her, “Don’t.”

“But I-” Lapis tried again.

“You’re not the one who did anything wrong.”

That had been the end of their conversation that day and the next day was just as silent. Lapis wasn’t sure how to break it, how to work past it. She wasn’t good at things like this, not like Steven, but she just couldn’t go to him with something so private.

It turned out that she didn’t have to break the quiet first. Later that night, as Lapis was helping Peridot into bed, the other girl clung to her shoulders and cried and apologized for her shitty behavior and thanked Lapis for putting up with her anyway. Lapis had crawled into bed with her and let Peridot break down.

Peridot had let everything out, for the first time since the incident, and told Lapis everything that had been on her mind. How much she hated what her disability had done to her independence, how she hated burdening Lapis with herself and her attitude, how she was afraid of Jasper in a way she’d never feared anyone before, how she had nightmares bad enough that sometimes she tried to just not sleep. She even revealed her darker thoughts, the ones she’d had about ending it all and the frequency that she confessed to having them worried Lapis sick.

She’d cried and cried and cried until she couldn’t breathe and Lapis held her and stroked her back and her hair and let her get it all out.

In the end, Lapis had to change her shirt for all that it had become wet and snotty and Peridot had been subdued and snuggly in a way she hadn’t since before the incident.

“I’ll try to do better.” Peridot had promised, “Because I love you more than anyone and even though I know that the Northern Water Tribe would be safer for you, I don’t want you to leave me.”

“I’ll try to take it less personally.” Lapis had promised in return, “I know this is hard on you. I meant what I said, though, I won’t leave you behind.”

Things were far from easy after that; Peridot still had her tantrums, but they weren’t as frequent or vehement and they seemed to lessen every week. Lapis got used to talking about nothing and everything, filling the voids with whatever random thoughts that filled her head. At the end of every day, Peridot would hug Lapis and thank her and apologize for any instances she’d had of being a dick. Lapis would go to her room and hear Peridot crying through the thin walls and sigh and feel restless because she didn’t know if she should go in and try to comfort her or let her cry it out.

They settled into a routine.

_________________

“Knee pads?” Lapis asked, surprised at the request, “Yes, I think I still have mine. Why?”

“I wish to test a hypothesis,” Peridot stated, pout on her face.

Lapis raised an eyebrow, “Okay.”

She never argued with Peridot’s strange whims before the incident, she wasn’t about to start. She left Peridot on their couch and went to go rummage through her closet. When she came back, she found Peridot carefully traversing from one side of the couch to the other, putting her weight on the end of her stumps. Lapis paused to watch her for a few moments.

After the amputations, the fresh wounds had been quite sensitive and Peridot had shied away from any touch or pressure on them. Even after the bandages could finally come off, she’d complained of pain and both girls had been mindful of the ends of her limbs. Apparently the sensitivity had faded to a bearable nature because Lapis hadn’t seen Peridot this active in months.

“I found them,” She called, coming fully into the room, “Want them on your knees?”

“Yes, please,” Peridot called, sitting back on the couch like an obedient child. She was having an extended ‘good day’ that had lasted for four days now.

Lapis wasn’t sure what had triggered it, and she wasn’t sure Peridot knew, either, but there hadn’t been any crying at night for almost a week now and she really hoped it lasted even longer. Lapis kneeled next to the couch and secured the pads around Peridot’s legs, giving a few tugs to make sure they were snug but not uncomfortable.

Slowly, Peridot pulled herself off the couch and onto the floor, settling on her padded knees and rocking a bit to get used to the feeling. Then she started shuffling forward, arms out for balance as she tried to get used to her new locomotion. Lapis blinked and watched as Peridot made her way around the room, face turning red from effort by the time she came back to settle against Lapis’s side.

For a moment, they looked at each other in silence, then they broke out into simultaneous grins.

“That was amazing,” Lapis complimented, ruffling Peridot’s hair.

Peridot chuckled, a little breathless, “That was hard.”

“You’ll build up muscles, I can help you,” Lapis’s offer made Peridot nod seriously.

“I want to bend again, too,” Conviction filled Peridot’s voice and Lapis felt a swell of pride.

“Not sure how much help a water bender will be, but I’ll do my best there, too.”

_________________

They started a new routine.

Peridot’s anger and depression lessened significantly, replaced by determination to succeed. She was often up before Lapis now, waiting impatiently for her to come in and help her into the knee pads and exchange greetings. Then she was crawling off to do laps around the living room. Sometimes Lapis would tease her by going extra slow and Peridot would grumble with good nature and chide her to hurry up. They would laugh together and it felt so good to be humorous again.

With her moods rising, Peridot began to go back to her talkative self and Lapis felt a pressure easing off her chest as the burden of socializing no longer fell solely to her. She still did the chores, but that was fine, she didn’t mind cooking and cleaning. Peridot had recently figured out a way to strap a fork onto her forearm securely enough that Lapis no longer had to feed her, so they ate together almost like they used to.

Peridot still fell a lot, probably more now that she was so active. Lapis had shown her a trick to keep her from face planting and now Peridot could be seen crawling and rolling across their apartment. When she got tired, sometimes Peridot would cuddle up to Lapis and hug her legs or Lapis would hoist Peridot up onto her back so Lapis could cart her around and they’d chat while chores got done.

They got back into the radio programs they liked to listen to together, spending most of the morning hanging out together until lunch. Then, after lunch, Peridot would crawl into her workshop and Lapis would pull out a book and they’d spend some time doing their own thing until dinner.

During dinner they’d tell each other what they’d done while apart; Lapis detailing interesting parts from her book and Peridot going on about her experiments with trying to bend without moving her body like she had in the warehouse. She’s also been teaching herself to write using her mouth, but, judging from the dark smudges that Lapis had to clean from her lips, she wasn’t quite successful with that, either.

After dinner, they would start their nightly cleansing routine, which included bathing together. Back when things had been not so good, this hadn’t been a big deal. Peridot was nearly unresponsive and grumpy and Lapis would lose herself in just working and talking without focus. Now they were getting shy around each other; Peridot was more attentive and alert, Lapis now had to focus on the other side of the conversation.

They were changing.

One night, after a day when Peridot had been unusually subdued, Lapis lay in bed and heard something that hadn’t been present in the apartment in weeks.

Crying.

This time, she felt compelled to get up and go into Peridot’s room and crawl into bed with her, holding her throughout the night. The night after that, Peridot wasn’t crying, but when Lapis helped her into bed, she paused before turning away. They looked at each other for a good, long time, knowing that they wanted the same thing.

“Stay,” Peridot coaxed gently, scooting back a bit to make room for Lapis beside her. Lapis obliged, sliding under the sheets and feeling Peridot tentatively press into her side. Lapis wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in close.

_________________

When Peridot figured out how to bend again, Lapis knew right away.

She'd been reading peacefully on the couch, engrossed in the story held within the novel's pages. Peridot had been quiet in her workshop, meditating, Lapis assumed, trying to reconnect with her bending. A great, metallic crash echoed in the apartment with a suddenness that sent Lapis vaulting to her feet and down the hall before conscious thought caught up with her.

“Lapis!” Peridot called, the clear excitement giving Lapis's pause. “I did it!”

She rounded the corner and peered into Peridot's workshop. Sitting in the floor, surrounded by upended metal pieces, was Peridot, looking up with a proud grin.

“Watch me!” Peridot demanded and shut her eyes, brows furrowing in concentration. Lapis watched as, slowly, the metal around the room began to tremble and vibrate. Then, one by one, it all raised in the air.

Lapis couldn't help but gasp in astonishment, “You did it.” She breathed, smile stretching across her face, “You did it!”

She came further into the room and dropped to her knees in front of Peridot, throwing her arms around her friend in an elated hug. Peridot laughed and returned the squeeze as best she could, face buried in Lapis's neck.

Pulling back a bit, Lapis stared into green eyes, “I'm so proud of you.”

Neither could really say who leaned in first, but the gap between them closed nonetheless. Before either realized what was happening, they were kissing with a passion that had been building for almost two years.

They didn't break apart until the clattering of metal all around then made them jump apart. Lapis looked and realized that Peridot had lost her concentration. Because of the kiss.

Hands flying to her mouth, Lapis met Peridot's wide eyed gaze, “I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to, I mean, I, I don't-” Lapis clamped her hands tighter to her mouth, cutting off her babbling.

“No, no!” Peridot leaned up, reaching out, but pausing before her forearms made contact with Lapis's, “I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking, I’ve just wanted to kiss you so bad since forever now and I…”

“You have?” Lapis asked incredulously, “How long is forever?”

Peridot flushed and whined, “...don't ask me that...”

Tilting her head curiously, Lapis felt a smile tugging her lips, “I'm asking.”

With a great sigh, Peridot gave in, “Do you remember that first mission the gang sent me on after I got glasses? I'd just turned seventeen, was still struggling with earth bending, they sent you as the only water bender because they didn't expect to need water underground.”

Lapis did vaguely recall that mission, but only because she'd been incredibly uncomfortable under the earth and Jasper had sent her there as a punishment for something. “We hit a well.” She remembered.

“Yeah, we did what we were supposed to but nearly got washed away. I was standing behind you, convinced I was going to be dashed on the rocks and killed. Then you just,” Peridot waved her arm, “With the most casual flick of your wrist, held the water back and fished our guys out and turned the whole thing to ice. Without even a change in expression.”

Lapis remembered being terrified and stepping forward on instinct. “It scared me,” She said softly, “I just reacted.”

“You were so effortlessly powerful; I thought about that mission for months. I had dreams where you kissed me in the freezing water and that was the only thing keeping me warm.” Peridot confessed, face flushed.

“That was so long ago. You've really wanted to kiss me since then?” Lapis reached out to cup Peridot's face, “I never… I'm sorry.”

“I understand, I was nobody back then. I'm still nobody, I'm even less nobody, I guess,” She held up her stumps, “You had other things to think of and its not like I was pleasant to be around. Nor did I actively try to make friends.”

“I wasn't pleasant to be around then, either,” Lapis gently stroked Peridot's cheeks with her thumbs, “Peridot, you're not nobody anymore. You're somebody to me.”

Peridot made a sound like she wanted to speak, to deny Lapis, but cut herself off with a choked gasp. “I still think you're amazing, though. Even more so now that I know you.” She managed after visibly struggling with her words.

Lapis couldn't think of anything to say, so she let her body do the talking. She leaned down and kissed Peridot firmly on the mouth.

________________

“Lapis, hey Lapis. Wake up.”

Groaning, Lapis tried to roll away from the prodding against her shoulder, “Sun's not even up yet, Per.”

“I know, but I had an idea and I need to tell you before I forget.” Peridot said insistently, poking Lapis on the arm.

Sighing, Lapis sat up, holding the sheet to her bare chest. Peridot was sitting on her knees, seemingly uncaring about her own nudity. She launched into a lecture about metal bending and how there had been other benders that supplemented physical disabilities with their bending.

Lapis lost focus about thirty seconds in, instead watching the way Peridot's muscles moved under her skin as she flailed and gestured. Her eyes trailed across messy hair, flushed face, and love bitten skin. A smile slid slowly over Lapis's lips as she recalled exactly how enthusiastic Peridot had been about proving that she didn't need fingers to please Lapis.

“Lapis!” Peridot cried, watching half lidded blue eyes snap back into focus on her face and not where it had been lingering lower.

“Hmm? Metal bending to something something. It's three in the morning, pardon my inattention.” Lapis crawled closer and rested her head on Peridot’s shoulder, pressing gentle kisses along whatever skin she could reach with the least amount of effort.

For a few minutes, Peridot allowed her to lavish sweet attention on her, until kisses started turning to nips, then bites. Finally, after Lapis managed to drag a groan from Peridot's lips, did she pull back and retrain herself on the idea that got her up on the middle of the night.

“Lapis,” Peridot rested her forearms on Lapis's shoulders until she got their eyes to lock, “I'm talking about prosthetics. Metal limbs. That I can control with my mind.”

With the idea finally spelled out in clear and concise language, Lapis's eyes widened. “Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’,” Peridot repeated eagerly, “Tomorrow, we should go to the Temple and talk to Pearl and Bismuth.”

Blinking in surprise, Lapis said again, “Oh?” In the months after the incident, Peridot had not once offered to leave the house willingly. They'd gone back and forth to the Temple on Air Temple Island every other week for various reasons, but Peridot hated it with a passion.

She'd confided to Lapis quite recently that she felt self conscious about the way people looked at her. Someone with no limbs stood out, no matter how they were being transported, and the stares that Peridot saw were almost as bad as the ones she imagined only in her head.

At first, they'd struggled with a clunky wheelchair, but as Peridot regained her mobility, they'd started skipping that altogether and Peridot would just cling to Lapis's back as they traveled. It was more comfortable and easier to move, so it ended up being the best choice for them both, but it made for quite the sight when they were on public transportation. Peridot always got quiet in crowds now and it hurt Lapis to see the normally outgoing girl shrink in on herself.

What could she do except agree?

“Alright, we’ll go.” Lapis agreed, when Peridot just looked at her pleadingly, “After breakfast, though, nerd. Either put your brain away and come cuddle me or let me fuck you again and knock you out.”

Peridot flushed, but Lapis saw an excited shiver run through her frame. “Are both on the table? Because I could do both, I’m great at multitasking.”

Giggling, Lapis laid back and beckoned Peridot closer, “Come give me a kiss and we’ll see.”

___________________

The next morning saw the two knocking on the front door of the Temple, Peridot draped over Lapis like a languid backpack. She had her arm folded over Lapis’s shoulder and her chin resting in the crook of her elbow, eyes drooping tiredly. Before their call was answered, Lapis turned her head and gently nudged against Peridot’s cheek.

“Hey, this was your idea, you need to at least be awake enough to tell them what you want,” At Peridot’s groan, Lapis let out an amused puff of air through her nose, “I told you that last round wasn’t a good idea.”

“Shut up,” A snort accompanied the weak command, before both turned their attention to the door as it opened.

Pearl blinked out at them in surprise, “What are you doing here? You just came last week, you didn’t run out of money already, did you?”

“No, no, it’s nothing like that. Although,” Lapis exchanged a look with Peridot, who was looking more alert now, “If Greg is here, we should probably say hi.”

After the incident, Steven’s father had been generous enough to offer to help support the two while Peridot recovered. It had taken Steven many conversations to convince both girls to set aside their pride and accept the financial aid and, even then, only with the promise of paying him back someday. Greg, who was a popular musician and had plenty of disposable income, just shrugged and did as he was asked. The important part, to him, was helping out Steven’s friends. The sum that they required every month was just a drop in the bucket, anyway, so he wasn’t worried about repayment.

Pearl shook her head, “He’s in the city today. Steven’s with him, so if you’re looking for him, he won’t be back until tomorrow.”

“Actually, Pearl, we were looking for you,” Lapis gestured to the interior with her chin, ”Can we come in?”

“Oh, of course, where are my manners? This way.”

They were lead into the nearby living room, a place that exuded comfort and welcoming as though whoever was there was always at home. Lapis felt Peridot relax at the first smell of fragrant burned logs to the point where she had to reach back and cup her hands under Peridot’s rear to keep her from falling off. They made their way to the L-shaped couch in the corner of the room, Lapis letting Peridot slide off until she plopped on the couch, then taking a seat on the far side away from Pearl.

“I need your blueprinting skills,” Peridot began, cutting straight to the chase, “I had this idea, you see, to make prosthetics out of metal-”

“And then bend them?” Pearl interrupted as she caught on, causing Peridot to adopt a disgruntled look. “Can you do that?”

“I don’t know,” Lapis reached over and placed her hand on Peridot’s back as she slumped at the admission. Encouraged, Peridot continued, looking up at Pearl in determination, “But with your help and Bismuth’s I want to try.”

“I assume you have plans?”

Peridot nodded firmly, “Think you can draw out it?”

Pearl smirked, “Can I?”

There was a pause, then Lapis spoke up, “Can y-”

“Of course I can!” Pearl snatched up a piece of paper and pencil from the coffee table, “Come down here and let's get started. We need to be able to give Bismuth something to work with.”

_______

Their work was really beyond Lapis. Sure, she could recognize the actual drawings, but then they started talking math and measurements and Lapis started to tune out, leaning back into the fluffy cushions of the couch and starting to doze.

“Are those hickeys?” A gravelly voice woke her some time later.

Lapis startled, hands coming up in a defensive pose, nearby liquids rising from their cups. When she saw there was no threat, she relaxed, putting Peridot and Pearl's tea back where it belonged.

Amethyst raised an eyebrow at her, “Jumpy much?”

Meeting her expression with a deadpan one, Lapis said, “Yeah.” As though it were obvious.

Perhaps it was, because Amethyst looked sheepish, “Right,” she flopped down on the couch next to Lapis, tapping the side of her own neck, “Anyway, hickeys?”

Lapis reached up to cup her hand over the bruises, feeling how they were still tender to the touch, “Yeah.” She said again, voice as flat and even as she could get it.

“So?” Amethyst pressed, sighing when Lapis remained silent, “Who're you banging?”

“If it were something that was your business, I would be singing it from the rooftops.” It was probably too much to hope that Amethyst would back off.

“Oh come on, I've never known you to…” Lapis looked up warily as Amethyst trailed off, finding her wide eyes glancing between Lapis and something on the floor at her knee level. Following her gaze, Lapis glanced at Peridot, seeing unmistakable bruising peeking out from the back collar of her shirt. “Holy smokes…”

Lapis glared, “Shut up.”

“You.”

“Shut up.”

“And Peri?”

“Oh my gosh, stop.”

Amethyst began cackling, causing Pearl and Peridot to look up from their discussion in question. Evidently, they decided this was normal behavior and promptly went back to their project. Lapis watched Amethyst crack up and rolled her eyes in exasperation.

“Oh man, you and Per, that’s so, so,” Amethyst paused suddenly, “Wait, I’m not sure why I’m laughing, everyone literally saw this coming since forever.”

Lapis blinked in surprise, “Really?”

“Yeah, you two idiots are, like, made for each other. You even have the same dumb jokes.”

Lapis wanted to be offended, but it was actually true. “Yeah.” She said instead.

“So, how long has this been going on?”

Lapis knew Amethyst was mostly just looking for gossip, but she was tentatively excited about the new level she’d reached with Peridot in their relationship. So Lapis decided to humor her. “What, this?” She made an all encompassing gesture towards herself and Peridot, “Or this?” She pointed to her neck.

Hand on her chin, Amethyst hummed and made a show of thinking about the question. “The hickeys, definitely the hickeys.”

“Less than a week,” Lapis confided, trying to keep the smile off her face as she did, but knowing she was unsuccessful, “We kissed in her workshop after she figured out her bending again.”

Sometimes Amethyst could be a dick; she liked to joke and push and was downright gross sometimes, but she’d proven over the past year that she could be trusted with more serious things. Despite how unaffected Lapis liked to act, she still enjoyed sharing with her friends when good things happened in her life and Amethyst could be supportive when she tried.

She gave Lapis a teasing grin, “Dang, y’all moved fast.”

“I dunno, I don’t think we did. I mean, we’d been in domestic bliss for the better part of a year before the incident happened. That kind of set us back for a while. Maybe if it hadn’t we’d have been at this stage or farther. Or, I dunno, maybe we’d still be dancing around each other. Either way, it feels natural, right. Better than anything I’ve felt before.”

“Honeymoon stage?” Amethyst inquired softly, teasing mostly gone.

“Maybe. Either way, I’m happy or something like it. I think she is, too,” Lapis glanced down at Peridot, watching the way she gestured animatedly at Pearl, who looked enthralled in whatever story was being told. It felt good to see her with so much energy.

“Well, I’m glad for you, buddy,” Amethyst clapped a thick hand down on Lapis’s shoulder, making her jump, “But, you might want to watch the hickeys, Peri bruises like a peach.”

Lapis smirked, trailing her eyes over Peridot again and lingering on the dark markings barely visible under her clothes, “Mmmmno.”

______________

They spent the whole day at the Temple, drawing up blueprints and hanging out with the others. It was the first time in a long time they’d actually made a mostly social call and the first time they’d come over without Steven being there. Lapis, who’d always felt like an outsider among Steven’s family, found herself actually relaxed and chatting along easily.

When they paused for lunch, Pearl made a call to Bismuth and invited her over to talk about the practical aspects of Peridot’s plan. She showed up while they were still eating, apparently eager to work, and the whole group sat down to a meal together. Garnet joined them as well and the whole room was filled with laughter and jokes. Peridot, from her place in Lapis’s lap, kept nudging and scolding Lapis because she got distracted and stopped feeding her with the chopsticks.

After lunch, they retired back to the living room for more work. Lapis half listened as Peridot, Pearl, and Bismuth discussed materials, time, and forging techniques. Beside her, Garnet and Amethyst were talking about something that required Amethyst to stand up and gesture wildly, but Lapis had long lost track of her words.

Instead, she let herself study Peridot as she worked, watching her enthusiasm and focus as she turned from the paper in front of her to their friends. She looked happy and Lapis was relieved that things seemed to finally be getting better outside of the little bubble that was their home.

“You both look happy,” Came a low, smooth voice from beside her.

Lapis turned to look at Garnet, noticing that Amethyst had disappeared off somewhere. “I think we are.”

“The new development in your relationship seems to be having a positive impact, as well.”

Looking at Garnet in surprise, Lapis could only shake her head, “How did you know?”

“Amethyst told me, but she needn’t have. I can tell by the way you’re looking at her and the way she was looking at you at lunch,” Garnet paused, “And the hickeys, Peridot bruises like a peach.”

“Yeah,” Lapis snorted, “So I’ve seen.” She gave a small sigh, “In the end, the incident didn’t destroy us, it just became another obstacle we had to get over.”

“And you did it together.” Garnet pointed out, eliciting a hum and a nod from Lapis, “I can sense that you’re worried about another obstacle.”

“Jasper.” Just the mention of her name made chills run down Lapis’s back, “I worry about her coming after us.” She hesitated, then grew silent.

“And?” Garnet prompted gently.

“We were only together for a few months, but Jasper wasn’t the only toxic person in our relationship.”

“You worry about becoming that toxic person to Peridot.” It wasn’t a question, but Lapis nodded anyway. “People can change, you know?”

“Jasper didn’t.” It was barely a whisper.

“But you did. You’re one of us now.”

That got Lapis’s attention, “One of you? You mean a Crystal Gem? I find that hard to believe.”

“Sure, if you define the Gems as a force dedicated to protecting the city, then maybe that is far fetched. However, if you think of us as all being influenced by Steven Universe to always try to do the right thing, then you definitely fit the bill.”

Lapis gave a giggling snort, “That's most of town.”

“Crystal Gems don't always have to be fighters. We support in our own ways.”

Letting her eyes fall on Peridot again, Lapis gave a slight smile, “She's a fighter.”

Glancing to her right revealed Garnet giving her an amused look, “Amethyst might call her scrappy.”

“She took out five of Jasper's men.”

Garnet's eyebrows raised, becoming visible over the rim of her sunglasses.

“I was impressed,” Lapis said, voice going flat, “But she has nightmares about it sometimes. She's actually really sensitive about that kind of stuff.”

“So maybe not a fighter,” Garnet hummed, “I know what you two definitely are, though.”

“Yeah? What's that?”

Garnet tipped her glasses down her nose, her heterochromatic eyes watching Lapis with fondness, “Survivors.”

Lapis was left a little breathless when Garnet pushed her glasses back up, “Oh.”

A pause fell in the conversation, then Garnet started again, “Greg's family owns a farmhouse outside the city.”

The sudden change in topic instinctively made Lapis wary, “And?”

“If you two ever felt unsafe, we could relocate you.”

“I'm not sure we could intrude on anymore of Greg's kindness.” Lapis said reluctantly.

“Rent would be free. It could probably use some fixing up, which Greg hasn't gotten around to, plus it has plenty of farmland. Keep you guys nice and busy.”

It was a tempting offer, Lapis had to admit, glancing over at Peridot as she and Bismuth created some crude prototypes out of rock. “I'm not sure. I'll talk about it with Peridot, but I think the apartment is fine for now.”

Lapis hated change, the thought of moving out of the city she grew up in sent a knot of anxiety squirming in her belly. Jasper hadn't found their apartment yet, but she knew it would only be a matter of time. She was trapped between two fears, of moving on and of getting caught, and she knew which one was objectively worse, but that didn't make the decision any easier.

“We can help you however you want.” Garnet said simply.

Lapis hummed in acknowledgment and turned her eyes to the window, head filled with things to think about.

__________

The next day, Peridot had arranged to meet with Bismuth and Pearl at the Forge. The Forge was a huge warehouse that had been converted into a blacksmith workshop, similar but different enough from Peridot's old workspace that she could enter without anxiety.

She seemed excited, in fact, if the way she was trembling was a any indication. More than once Lapis had to move Peridot's arms away to keep from choking her.

“There's so much metal.” Peridot whispered loudly and Lapis laughed.

“You better not be leaving a wet spot on my back, nerd.”

There was a pause as Peridot registered and deciphered the comment, then she shrieked and smacked Lapis's shoulder, “You!”

Lapis's snort giggle turned into long, loud genuine laughter. That seemed to mollify Peridot, because she buried her face in Lapis's neck and nuzzled gently.

“Thanks. For coming with me. I know you'll probably be bored.”

“That's why I brought a book,” Lapis reached back and patted Peridot's thigh, “Besides, this is important to you so it's important to me.”

Peridot snuggled closer for another moment, before pulling back and gesturing forward, “Come on, I've never been here before and I already love it.”

Lapis chuckled, coming farther into the building. They could hear metallic clanging coming from farther in inside. Following the sound, they came upon Bismuth and Pearl, the blacksmith leaning over a project, broad back to the room, sparks flying from in front of her.

Pearl was sitting at a well used work table, pouring over the blueprints from the previous day with measuring and drawing tools. She looked up when Lapis and Peridot came into the room and smiled.

“Welcome, you two. Bismuth and I were just getting started.” She patted the seat of the chair next to her and Lapis ambled closer to deposit Peridot there. She took the next seat over and pulled out her book, settling in for a long day.

She had gathered that they were going to create one prototype arm to test as a proof of concept. Lapis lapsed in and out of focus between Bismuth working, Pearl flittering about, Peridot being Peridot, and her book, until she was waking up to a hand shaking her shoulder.

She jerked up from her uncomfortable position, glancing around in a slight panic until her mind caught up. Looking to her right, she saw Peridot leaning over her with a grin. “Per-”

Cutting herself off, Lapis gasped; at the end of Peridot's right arm was a crude, metal prosthetic. “Lap.” Peridot mimicked teasingly, obviously pleased with herself.

“It's amazing,” Lapis breathed, reaching up to touch it, fingertips tracing the messy welds, “How much can you control it?”

Peridot held the arm up and opened and closed the fist several times. Then, with a furrowed brow, moved each of the fingers independently of each other. By the time she was done with her little demonstration, sweat was beading down her forehead.

“Okay, Peridot, let's lay off the aneurysms,” Lapis tapped her on the forehead to break her concentration. ”I take it that means the prototype is a success?”

Peridot beamed a grin so bright that Lapis felt herself flush. Stars, the power such a smile held.

“And I get to take it home! So I can practice! I’m very excited for this!” Peridot held out her arms and Lapis obligingly leaned in to give her a hug, ignoring the knowing looks Bismuth and Pearl were giving them.

“Good,” Lapis said simply. A bit of maneuvering had Peridot slung over her back again, her new prosthetic held out in front of them. Lapis could see Peridot examining it when she peeked over her shoulder, scrunching up her face as she made the fingers move little by little. “What’s the build time look like for the finished products?”

“A week for each piece,” Bismuth replied, “Pearl and I will both work on it for you.”

Lapis felt Peridot shift, pressing her forearms on Lapis’s shoulders so that she could rise up to be seen over her head. “Thank you, both of you, you have no idea what this means to me.”

Pearl exchanged a look with Bismuth, “And you don’t know what this means to us. We were worried about you, Peridot. You shut us all out.” She gave Lapis a pointed look and Lapis looked away, “We were worried about both of you.”

“Yeah,” Bismuth chimed in, “We’d do anything to help get you back on your feet.”

Peridot chuckled, “Even build me some?”

Happy that her joke was well received, Bismuth came closer to clap the two on their back, nearly knocking Lapis over, “Anything for some fellow Crystal Gems.”

_____________________

Long after they’d left Bismuth’s Forge, those words stayed with Lapis. Garnet had said the same thing the day before; that they were Crystal Gems. A year ago, Lapis would have denied that accusation vehemently. The Crystal Gems were just another gang in a city overrun with them and Lapis refused to belong to a group like that.

Not again.

Yet, here she was, being told that, not only, she was a member, but had been for some time. Without even knowing it. She watched Peridot crawling around on the floor on her newly acquired fingertips and wondered.

“Are we Crystal Gems?”

Peridot paused at the out of the blue question, turning to regard Lapis curiously. “I think so? Why do you ask?”

Lapis snorted, “Because I don't remember joining. For one.”

“Oh. I mean, I did when I renounced the gang for good. In a most spectacular fashion, I may add.” Peridot paused and Lapis looked up to see a shit eating grin on her face, “I brou-”

“Brought the house down, you use that joke every time, you nerd.” Lapis couldn't help laughing, though.

“I mean, when one drops a warehouse on one's boss, there's only a few good jokes that one can reuse.”

“What about me?” The levity died at Lapis's quiet tone, “When did I join?”

Peridot went silent, then slowly crawled towards Lapis until she could settle on the floor at her feet. She looked up, bringing her arms to rest on Lapis’s thighs, cuddling close, “I think you joined when you stayed.” Her prosthetic cupped Lapis’s hand gently and pulled it to her lips, where Peridot dropped a small kiss along her knuckles.

“You could have left, like you threatened to, or you could have made me leave. Instead you didn’t, despite the fact that Greg could own this whole building ten times over, much less get a separate apartment for just you You stayed, for Steven, yes, but you stayed with me and gave me a chance to apologize and make it up to you.”

Lapis looked down into green eyes that seemed to be filled with more emotion than she could even fathom. Her heart swelled with a kind of warmth than left a lump in her throat that she couldn’t speak around. Deciding to let her actions do the talking, Lapis leaned in and kissed Peridot with a slow, steady passion that she hoped conveyed every ounce of the love she held for her.

When they pulled apart, both girls were breathless. The lump had disappeared enough for Lapis to finally say something, so she opened her mouth and let her words brush against Peridot’s lips, “We should get stars.”

__________________________

Over the next month, Bismuth’s work started showing up at their door. The prosthetics were fully articulated with sturdy pins in every conceivable joint that allowed Peridot a level of movement that she probably didn’t even have with her flesh and blood limbs.

Lapis learned everything she needed to know to help Peridot get into her prosthetics in the morning and how to soothe the irritated sockets when they inevitably got sore from overuse. When Peridot got both arms in, she spent the entire week before the next part arrived climbing on every surface she could find. She nearly gave Lapis heart failure when she dropped down from the exposed beams in the ceiling of her workshop.

The legs should have made her even more mobile, but a problem quickly became apparent. If Peridot stopped concentrating on her legs, the ankle joints gave out. The only plus side was that she got to use every ‘falling for you’ pick up line she could think of when Lapis was close enough to catch her.

The difficulty slowed Peridot, but not for long. Her powers grew by leaps and bounds.

Lapis watched her progress with a sense of secondhand pride. Peridot was already designing the next model with improvements to the flaws she'd noticed in use. She'd told Lapis excitedly about working with Bismuth to invent a rust proof alloy so that she wouldn't have to worry about getting the metal wet.

Before they knew it, it was coming up on a year since the incident.

Lapis was initially worried about how Peridot would react to the date. She hadn't been in a good place after it happened, neither of them had been. Lapis thought that if it had been her, she never would have come as far Peridot had.

As the day drew near, Peridot did become more subdued, but it seemed to come from a place of contemplation, rather than depression. Lapis waited patiently for Peridot to open up, trying to make sure she was being as available as possible.

Finally, the day before the anniversary, Lapis woke up to Peridot sitting up in bed, brows furrowed.

Rolling onto her side, Lapis reached out to stroke Peridot's back affectionately, “You okay?”

“I think I need to go back.”

Lapis sat up on her elbow, “Back where?”

“The warehouse,” Peridot finally turned to meet Lapis's eyes, “I have to go to where it happened and face my fear or it might always haunt me.”

Sitting up fully, Lapis nodded, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Peridot blinked, then blinked again when Lapis gave her a quick kiss and a nod.

“Okay, we'll go there. And you can bring the house down.”

Peridot gave a relieved, breathless laugh, “Really?”

“Of course. This is important to you, so we'll go fuck it up and smack your fear right in the face.” Lapis grinned when Peridot all but tackled her in a hug.

“Lapis?” When Lapis looked up, Peridot kissed her, “I love you.”

Lapis felt that familiar warmth and swell in her chest, the one that was usually accompanied by the lump that kept her from speaking. She fought that with all her might, taking a deep breath and stuttering, “I,I lo-ve you, too.”

Peridot giggled, “And you call me the nerd.”

_______

They made their way to the warehouse after lunch, Peridot leading the way with the heavy clunking of her thick boots. As a temporary measure to keep her on her feet, the thick leather would keep her ankles from bucking with any inattention. As they neared the familiar block, Lapis noticed that Peridot began to lag.

“Hey,” Lapis took her elbow and squeezed gently, earning a grateful smile, “I'm here.”

“That's why I can do this.”

The warehouse looked exactly the same as when Peridot had left it, but Lapis hadn't seen it since the before the incident. Blood had long since dried on the concrete, alluding to the messy ends that had been met here.

Metal was absolutely everywhere, torn from their places with an obvious desperation that made Lapis ache in her chest. A few scattered pieces were covered with brownish red stain that Lapis was certain wasn't rust.

The worst of it would have to have been on Peridot's machine. As if the rest of the warehouse didn't look like a crime scene, the amount of dried blood pooled and splattered across the gears and concrete nearly made Lapis gag.

She glanced away to find Peridot giving the machine a forlorn look. “All of my notes were here. I'd just gotten it working when she found me.”

“You could salvage it. Start over.”

Peridot just shook her head, “It would be less work to just start over. Besides, I don't want to risk running into my… bits.”

Lapis shuddered, “Yeah. You wanna salt the earth here or what?”

“Let me grab my notes and we'll make this building disappear,” Peridot wandered over to the far corner, where her work table was mostly intact. Papers were scattered about, but nothing was too far apart.

Lapis busied herself by not looking in the direction of all the blood.

She was caught completely off guard when she heard the familiar, deep voice of Jasper behind her. “Well, well. It’s about time you two showed up.”

Lapis jumped and turned to face the hulking form of all of her nightmares. She hated how breathless she became just at the sound of her voice, but actually seeing Jasper made Lapis freeze completely.

The stomping of boots against the ground sounded behind her and Peridot was suddenly at Lapis’s side. “Were you waiting for us?”

Jasper gave her an appraising look, “How’d you manage that, runt?”

Peridot glared, holding up her arm to show off her metal digits, “I am a genius.”

“Huh,” Jasper huffed in begrudgingly impressed bemusement, “Who would have thought that actually counted for something?”

“Not you,” Lapis spat, voice shaking.

“Not you, either,” Jasper turned the force of her glare on Lapis, “You didn’t give this little shit the time of day when we were in the gang together. Now, you’re besties?” She scoffed, “Don’t make me laugh.”

“Make fun all you want, but Peridot is stronger than both of us,” Lapis raised her arms and summoned the water from her ever present backpack.

“I highly doubt th-”

“Even if she was a nonbender,” Lapis interrupted, causing Jasper to scowl, “She’d be stronger. You and I couldn’t have survived what she has. What you did to her.”

“And I’ll finish the job,” Jasper growled, taking a threatening step forward, “Unless you come back to me.”

“No!” Peridot, tired of being quiet, stepped forward, voice strong and clear, “You can’t beat us both.” Around the warehouse, metal began to rise from the floor and the earth began to shake, giant slabs of concrete rising to block off the exits. “Let’s end this, once and for all!”

Jasper, ever the show off, immediately kicked forward, sending flames flying towards the two and making them scatter. Lapis, who was never one for flowery speeches and dramatics, sent her water to intercept the fire and push through towards Jasper.

Despite her size, Jasper was fast on her feet. She easily dodged to the side of Lapis's attack and deflected the sheet metal that Peridot followed up with.

“I'm gonna melt you into slag, runt! And make Lapis watch you burn,” Jasper charged towards Peridot, fists flying.

Peridot barely managed to avoid the gouts of flame that shot forth, the metal around them rattling dangerously in her panic. Lapis thrust forward as hard as she could and a column of water swept Jasper off her feet.

As she tried to regain her balance, the concrete upended itself under her feet, making her stumble long enough for Lapis to close the distance. The floor smoothed obediently at her presence and the two were locked in a deadly back and forth, fire bellowing and water dancing.

Peridot struggled to find an opening around the much faster fighters, metal and stone hovering close by to aide Lapis's if needed. A metal panel came up to block a burst of flame that Lapis hadn't been quite dexterous enough to move away from, a few fist sized rocks peppered the Jasper's back in an effort to distract her.

Lapis, with Peridot's help, was fighting Jasper only to a stand still. Something was going to give.

Suddenly, Lapis's tactics changed. The water turned from elegant columns to sharp ice spikes. She was pressing forward harder and more recklessly, taking the hits that Peridot wasn't fast enough to block.

Peridot began to worry; if she didn't end this soon, Lapis was going to get seriously hurt. She reached out and started yanking poles and rebar from the walls and floor, gathering them at a spot where it looked like Lapis would be driving Jasper back into.

A sick feeling settled in her gut as Peridot thought of what she was so casually about to do. “Jasper!” She called desperately, “Jasper, you don't have to do this!”

“You're only saying that because I'm gonna win!” Jasper roared, face twisted in mad elation. She ducked down into one of Lapis's spikes, letting it clip her shoulder, and head butted Lapis hard enough to make her stumble.

Peridot gave a cry and thrust her hand forward, sending a coil of wiring around Jasper's wrist. It didn't last long, as she jerked her arms and tore the wire in half, but it was enough time for Lapis to recover and press the attack again.

“You won't win,” Peridot continued after she could breathe again, “You can't. We've got you in check.”

“You're so insufferable!” Peridot found herself having to tumble out of the way of a fireball as Jasper turned on her. Lapis pressed the advantage and scored a deep stab that barely slowed the giant.

“You're going down.” Lapis growled, fury in her eyes.

“You both sound just like that kid, Rose's kid, that traitor born,” Just hearing Jasper mention Steven put Lapis and Peridot on edge and the onslaught against Jasper seemed to double in effort.

Peridot managed to tag Jasper in the back of the head hard enough that she actually swayed on her feet, but still, she didn't stop fighting, “You're even wearing stars like him. Guess you found your new gang.”

Peridot didn't need to glance down to know what Jasper had spotted. While waiting for Bismuth's work to come, Lapis had taken her decision to embrace being a Crystal Gem to an enthusiastic conclusion.

It might have been a little overboard, but Lapis spent those four weeks sewing star patches and designs into every piece of clothing the two owned. She'd even helped Peridot brand and etch stars into her prosthetics. They'd bought star themed jewelry and were currently wearing matching necklaces.

They'd jumped into this head first and without safety gear. Happily.

Peridot felt the need to correct Jasper on one thing, though. “You're wrong! It's not a gang, it's a family!”

With all her might, Peridot slammed heavy gears, plates, and slabs against Jasper, driving her into her trap. Lapis, unknowing what she had planned, but pressing forward anyway, ratcheted up her assault another notch.

At the last second, Peridot lifted the dozens of makeshift spears she'd collected, aiming them for what she hoped would be vital areas. Then, before either Lapis or Jasper could react, she stomped her foot and pivoted, throwing a thick barrier between Lapis and Jasper to halt the fighting completely.

Then, Peridot closed her fist.

Neither actually saw the impact, but they heard it. A wet, meaty sound, followed by a choking gasp of pain. There was metal impacting stone and then a silence that was so final it made their ears ring.

Both stared at the slab of concrete that separated them from Jasper's body in shock.

Lapis heard a strange dripping begin in the silence of the warehouse, echoing in a disconcerting way. Looking down revealed a steadily growing pool of blood that began to flow around the concrete barrier. Lapis turned her shocked gaze to Peridot, “Holy smokes.”

“Holy smokes,” Peridot echoed, “I can't believe I did that.”

“Are you okay?” Lapis approached tentatively, hands coming up to rest on Peridot's elbows, squeezing gently.

“Am I okay? Are you okay? I thought a few times she was going to set you on fire,” Peridot glanced over Lapis's form, looking for injuries.

“I'm fine, better than fine, actually. I think. I'm still kind of in shock, I think it might hit me later what I'm feeling.”

Peridot agreed with that sentiment. Certainly she was relieved that the immediate threat to their life was gone, but at what cost?

“I think I'm ready to bring the warehouse down, now.”

Lapis nodded and took Peridot's hand, letting herself be lead outside. For a long time, they both just looked up at the building.

For Lapis, this place hadn't been that important, except to where it pertained to Peridot. She spent time here, but at the end of the day, it wasn't a place she had any strong feelings for either way.

Looking over at Peridot, seeing the uncertain expression on her face, she realized that there was going to be some things they could never truly understand about each other, but they could try to have compassion about anyway.

Her hand slid higher until she touched warm flesh, catching Peridot's attention, “Let's make this place a tomb to the bad things in our life.”

Peridot looked intrigued, “A tomb? Yes, bury our bad experiences and only come visit to pay our respects to the things that made us who we are. Stronger, better,” Peridot's expression shifted to a smile that morphed between soft and sheepish, “Together.”

That was way more poetic than what Lapis meant, but she liked it. “Yeah, that too. Bury it, baby.”

Peridot flashed her a quick, megawatt grin then turned her focus on the warehouse. Watching her bend was a bit like watching a bunny rabbit pretend to be a wolf. Peridot spread her legs in a wide, powerful stance that seemed out of place with her small frame.

She gave strong, sudden movements, stomping her feet and waving her arms in deliberate movements as she dug the earth aside underneath the foundation of the building. Lapis was reminded that Peridot hadn't started learning how to properly bend until she was almost sixteen, having been forbidden to do so in her childhood. She'd been taught by guys twice her size and with half the compassion.

Not even eight years later and here she was, single handedly burying an entire building.

Lapis watched the controlled carnage with a proud smile, keeping alert just in case Peridot was running the risk of overworking herself. She seemed happy, though, if determined; this was a kind of therapy for them both.

It took a long time and a few water breaks, but, eventually, the deed was done. It really was telling of the kind of neighborhood the warehouse was in the that no one even called the cops on them. Or that they had and the cops never came.

Lapis wrapped her arms around Peridot's shoulders and placed a kiss on her sweaty cheek, wrinkling her nose at the smell of sweat that now encompassed her lover. It wasn't rank, but it definitely gave Lapis an idea about how to spend the rest of their day.

“Let's go home and clean up, then celebrate our future together.” She whispered in Peridot's ear, before leading her away with a hand on the small of her back.

“Sounds good. Hey, do you think Greg might still let us live on that farm? Steven said there was a barn that would make a great new workshop.”