Work Text:
Yoongi was in the zone. The music he was working on was coming along nicely, which was great because his latest bout of writer's block had been a particularly difficult one. He loved everything about producing, how freeing it felt to finally be able to write his own music after years of putting it off. As he was about to start on the next verse of the song, his phone pinged.
Yoongi sighed as he fished his phone from his front jacket pocket. He knew exactly who it was, and when he saw the bright 9:47 pm on his display he knew there was about to be a fight. He swiped open his latest message, eyebrows pinched as he read the passive aggressive text from his boyfriend.
<3
Jiminie: of course you aren’t coming home tonight
Yoonie: you knew that. I’m busy with my music. Why are you acting like this you already know how important this is to me
Jiminie: I know that!!
Jiminie: it’s important to me too, but so is my boyfriend being home every once in a while
Yoonie: you’re being dramatic Jimin, I was there yesterday.
Jiminie: yesterday MORNING. You left before I woke up. You’ve been in the studio for almost two days now, it isn’t healthy Yoongi. Am I wrong for wanting to fall asleep with you next to me?
Yoonie: Fine. Just give me a few hours I’ll be home around midnight.
Jiminie: you’re kidding me.
Jiminie: midnight?!
Jiminie: you might as well stay there again lol. You obviously don’t miss me too.
Yoonie: I do miss you, of course I do. I’m almost done okay? As soon as I finish I’ll come home.
Jiminie: I’m staying at tae and kook’s tonight.
Jiminie: For once Yoongi I wish you would just put my happiness first. Just once.
Yoongi stared at the text, releasing another deep sigh. He chucked his phone to the side of his desk. He knows deep down his boyfriend is right. He should be home. Should be putting more effort into the relationship he once adored. Can’t even really remember the last time him and Jimin were in the same room for more than 20 minutes.
Jimin had once been a bright light, the only light he thought he would ever need. As the years went on though, that light had dwindled. The long nights laughing at nothing became the long nights staying up to argue. The light hearted phone calls became ignoring his special ringer for the younger. It wasn’t really the younger boys fault, he was always trying to spend time with Yoongi but Yoongi would rather spend his days (and nights) holed up in his small studio.
Yoongi loved Jimin, he really did but there were times he wished they never started dating. Times he wished he would have just stayed his best friend, thinking maybe they would be happier then. Maybe he wouldn’t feel so guilty everytime he ignored his lovers messages on his phone.
As he forced himself on the studio couch that was the last thought on his mind, the wish that if he could go back then maybe he wouldn’t tell Jimin he loved him. Maybe he would look his best friend in the eye and tell him that Namjoon was the better choice for him. That he should say yes to the date because he had nothing to lose and only so much to gain.
☾
Yoongi woke up to an incessant vibrating coming from under him. Normally he would ignore it but Jimin was already livid, he didn’t want to make it worse for himself. He groaned as he blindly searched for his phone, his eyes refusing to open. He paused as he felt around the couch, which certainly didn’t feel like the ratty one he fell asleep on. This one was significantly larger and leather, nothing compared to his hand me down that he’s pretty sure Jimin found on the streets. Before he could question the couch more, two new texts came in. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he unlocked his phone, which what? Yoongi frowned at his locksceen, a picture of Holly staring back at him, he could have sworn it had been Jimin just yesterday.
Yoongi read the endless texts from Tae, confused as the younger informed him that he was on his way.
The best brat
Taehyungie : HYUNG
Taehyungie: you better be awake
Taehyungie: you may not be answering but we have your location!!
Taehyungie: we know you are some big shot producer but this is important!!
Taehyungie: jimin says if you aren’t ready he will fight you with his tiny little hands
Taehyungie: WE ARE COMING NOW
Grandpa: Jimin stayed with you last night?
Taehyungie: no? He was with Joonie like always!! Why would he stay with me?
Grandpa: because of our fight last night?
Taehyungie: … what fight? Jimin says you two are fine. Did you have some weird dream last night hyung?
Grandpa: wait you said jimin was at joonies? Like namjoon? Why was he there
Taehyungie: because that’s his fiancé?? Omg hyung really are you ok
Taehyungie: anyways we are gonna be there in like 30!! Remember we are finalizing cake decisions today! And yes you have to go because you are his best man and Jimin will murder you if you don’t
Yoongi stared blankly at the messages rolling in. Everything around him suddenly feeling hazy, he opened his Instagram trying to prove to himself that he was still dreaming. That whatever was going on was a joke .
As he opened Jimin’s page his heart stopped. Where his face used to be plastered, was now Namjoon, smiling triumphantly. There were countless photos of the two together, varying from simple selfies to pictures of what Yoongi could only assume was their house. A photo had been posted not even 30 minutes ago, a picture of matching rings… wedding rings.
Yoongi kept scrolling, desperately trying to wake up from what felt like a nightmare. It didn’t make sense, none of this made sense. He was just with Jimin yesterday, but the Jimin in the photos wasn’t his. They looked the same obviously, but there was a difference in how they held themselves. This Jimin seemed happier, no worries reflecting in the beautiful brown eyes.
The only thing Yoongi could register was the faint buzzing coming from his phone as he tried to keep himself from panicking. He froze as he thought back to yesterday, how desperately he had wished to be Jimin’s best friend and nothing more. His heart clenched painfully as he realized he got exactly what he wanted. He was nothing more that Jimin’s best man, Namjoon seemingly taking his place with ease.
He rubbed at his face, a headache already forming behind his eyes. He warily looked around his studio, which was definitely not the same because holy shit. The studio he sat in wasn't a cramped room he managed to book, it was huge. There were 4 different computer screens on a desk the size of his old couch. Everything looked new and expensive, like it was bought by someone who was successful and not just struggling to get by. Without Jimin it seemed like Yoongi got what he had always wanted, he was successful.
Yoongi tore his eyes away from his new set up and read the messages he had received, which were from Jimin this time.
Hyungs favorite
Jimin ♡: tae says you stopped replying
Jimin ♡: I’ll come drag you out of the studio MYSELF
Jimin ♡: you’re my best man and you’re late!!!
Jimin ♡: how am I supposed to pick a cake without my best friend :((
Jimin ♡: also I’m still coming over tonight to finish up some last minute things!! No ifs ands or buts mister
Yoonie Hyung: of course jimin
Yoonie Hyung: I really missed this
Jimin ♡: missed what?
Yoonie Hyung: just this easiness between us
Jimin ♡: yah you’re so sappy!
Jimin ♡: you saw me like two days ago at brunch with Joonie!
Jimin ♡: also don’t think being cute gets you out of your best man duties!! Come downstairs we are here :))
Yoonie Hyung: yeah yeah I’m coming
Yoongi smiled to himself at Jimin’s texts. It was like he could breathe again when talking to the younger boy, like there was no forced tension between the two. Yoongi thought back to his Jimin, talking to him had became harder the past few months, every time they talked it seemed to end in a fight. He couldn’t really remember a time when Jimin smiles didn’t seem forced either, his crescent moon eye smile long gone in his world. Maybe it was before the long nights at the studio, maybe it had been before Yoongi stopped replying right away, maybe it had been before the ‘I love you’s’ regressed to nothing.
As Yoongi reached the bottom floor he braced himself, not quite sure how he felt to be meeting a different Jimin than his own. He didn’t have much time to worry because as soon as he swung the door open he was met with a handful of Jimin. The smaller boy wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him into a firm hug. Yoongi instantly relaxed into the embrace, smiling involuntary at the familiar scent of Jimin.
“You ready for some cake?” Jimin asked, eyes twinkling with excitement.
“Of course, you know how much I love sweets.” Yoongi replied, sarcasm dripping in every syllable. Jimin laughed and swatted Yoongi’s arm playfully,
“Hush and just enjoy things hyung! Now come on!” Jimin exclaimed as he grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the car where Tae was waiting. The drive to the bakery passed without incident, Tae and Jimin easily filling the silence. Yoongi watched the two interact and smiled to himself, everything seemed so light in this world, he could get used to it.
As they sat down, Yoongi’s phone vibrated with an incoming message. It was relieving to know that him in Hobi were still close in this world, their relationship seeming to be the only thing that crossed over.
The two bestest bros
Hoebi: did you make it to the cake or did Jimin murder you
Yoongles: why does no one have faith in me
Hoebi: because you live in the studio you hermit
Hoebi: good I’m glad so no murder will take place
Yoongles: can I ask you something though
Yoongles: it’s for uh my best man speech
Hoebi: sure Hyung what is it
Yoongles: do you remember why I never confessed to Jimin?
Hoebi: uh that you loved him?
Hoebi: wow we haven’t talked about this in years yoons. omg
Hoebi: I don’t remember exactly why but I do know it had to do with Joon. Joon asked Jimin out and when Jimin told you, you told him to go for it because he would make him happy so he did just that
Hoebi: I still always wonder what would have happened if you had told him tho
Yoongles: haha yeah same. I’m sure it would have been a disaster
Yoongles: well jimin is mad at me for not paying attention so I’ll text you later hoebi
Yoongi put his phone away and turned to a smiling Jimin whose mouth was puffed out from the cake he was currently chewing. He looked younger than the one in his world, a light glow emanating from him. Once Jimin caught his stare he immediately latched onto the olders arm, stuffing cake into his mouth before he could protest.
“ Here Yoongles! Try this one!” Jimin smiled, immediately laughing at the annoyed expression Yoongi threw him at the nick name.
Yoongi swallowed the red velvet cake, “This one is way better than the last one you shoved in my mouth, for sure.” Jimin pouted and pinched his side.
“Hey! Vanilla was a strong contender, not everything has to be extravagant!”
“Fine if you want a boring wedding, then vanilla it is.” Yoongi replied dryly, laughing at the offended loon gracing Jimin's features. Jimin’s pout increasing at Yoongi who was still laughing.
“Sometimes I forget you two aren’t the ones getting married, with how much you bicker.” Tae said, easily dodging the cake Jimin threw at him. “Yoongles here only wishes he could marry someone as great as me, plus he would never have time with him living in the studio!”
Yoongi internally winced at that, remembering something his Jimin has once said. They had been in the middle of another argument when the younger broke down and asked if they would even have the time to get married. Jimin had openly cried as he hugged himself, pleading with Yoongi to make more time for him. Yoongi had gotten better after that, had spent more time with his boyfriend for the next week and then it was like the argument never happened. Both boys slipping back into their old habits.
“Okay well I have to go meet my wonderful fiancé for lunch! It’s been decided right? Red velvet and vanilla?” Jimin asked as he threw on his coat, both boys nodded and he threw them a dazzling smile before leaving.
Yoongi couldn’t help but watch him go, an uneasy feeling in his stomach. This Jimin just looked so happy, so excited to be getting married that it made him think of his own Jimin… who probably wanted this too. His boyfriend who probably wanted to pick out cakes, who wanted his fiancé to meet him for lunch and not cancel because he was stuck in the studio.
“You know I meant what I said. We always thought it would be you two getting married.” Tae said as he watched Yoongi follow Jimin's retreating figure. Yoongi schooled his features before turning to the younger boy.
“He looks happy though, doesn’t he?” Yoongi mused, he didn’t quite understand why that thought didn’t make him happy like the thought it would.
Tae laughed humorously, “I’m sure he would have been happier with you, Yoongi. We all knew it. Anyways let’s go alert the baker on our choices because I have lunch with Kook, and I’m sure you are dying to get back to the studio.”
Yoongi looked at the vanilla cake in front of him and for the first time in who knows how long, he realized he didn’t want to go to the studio.
As Yoongi left the bakery and made his trek home he pulled out his phone, texting the only person he could talk to.
The two bestest bros
Yoongles: another question
Hoebi: yoon are you feeling ok
Hoebi: this is the most you’ve talked in MONTHS but I’m all ears you know that
Yoongles: well I was just with tae and jimin and after jimin left tae said something about jimin being happier with me?? Why did he say that
Hoebi: oh well I mean you know how we were all rooting for you
Hoebi: jimins happy and joons great we all love him ya know? But idk when jimin was with you he always seemed happiest
Hoebi: we always thought it would be your wedding we would be attending, you two seemed like you were already practically married for tae it was probably harder to watch you two fall apart since he prob knew more than us
Yoongles: more than us?
Hoebi: it was no secret jimin was in love with you too but hey like you said you’re happy for him so I guess that’s all that matters
Yoongles: yeah I am. I’m gonna nap I’ll talk to you later
Yoongi shut his phone, the uneasy feeling in his stomach growing. He should be happy that he got what he wanted, but he just wasn’t. He groaned at his phone vibrating against his stomach, not in the mood to talk to anyone.
Hyungs favorite
Jimin ♡: im on my way yoongles
Yoongles: can’t wait
In less than 15 minutes there was a knock at the door, Yoongi opened it to a smiling Jimin. The wedding was in the less than 5 days is the second thing Yoongi learns upon Jimin’s arrival, the first being that Jimin insisted on stealing his sleep clothes. His stomach twists as he looks at Jimin swimming in his black sweater, a possessive feeling overtaking his rational thoughts. Jimin always looked so good in his clothes, like he belonged in them.
“Okay let’s get to work!” Jimin says interrupting his train of thought as he throws himself on the black couch, getting comfortable.
They only spend 10 minutes doing actual preparations before getting completely distracted. They talk for hours easily, jumping from subject to subject with a practiced ease that comes from knowing each other since they could barely walk. He learns that this Jimin pursued his dream of dance, instead of choosing to be an instructor like his own had. He learns that he still loves pineapple on pizza like some sort of animal. He learns that he still claps his hands excitedly every time he’s happy. He learns that sitting here, watching Jimin tell an exaggerated story about some dancer he met that he doesn’t think of the studio once.
As the light begins draining from the sky they continue talking. It isn’t until around 11pm that Yoongi realizes they haven’t eaten anything.
“Are you hungry?” Yoongi asks the younger boy as he makes his way to his cupboard to see what food this Yoongi owns.
Jimin blinks down at his phone, staring at the time before answering, “Starved actually, why are you looking in your pantry? You know you don’t have food in there!”
Yoongi grunts in agreement, staring at the one package of instant noodles he has. He isn’t surprised that this Yoongi lives like this, Jimin had always been the one to make sure he was eating right. Even going as far as barging into his studio at any odd hour to drag him onto his crappy couch with a promise of takeout because “babe you haven’t eaten in hours! I also miss my stubborn boyfriend!” The visits stopped happening little by little, until there had been none at all.
“Let’s go get some then, a spontaneous adventure?” Yoongi said, tone playful and smile gracing his lips.
Jimin seemed to study him for a bit before responding, “No studio time tonight?”
Yoongi shook his head, “Not tonight.”
The smile Jimin gave him in response made it worth it.
☾
Hanging out with Jimin was easy. It was like breathing, completely second nature. The youngers bright laughter could easily fill any lull in conversation, and when there was complete silence it was still comfortable.
Yoongi brought Jimin to the same place they had their first date, in his own universe that is. He hadn’t really meant to bring him to the small 24 hour Chinese restaurant but when Jimin saw the hole in the wall he lit up. Immediately tugging on the orders sleeve complaining of hunger.
As they sat down, Yoongi felt a pang in chest. He couldn’t remember the last time he took his own Jimin out. Sure they had dinner together of course but he couldn’t think of a time where they went on actual date... where they behaved like a couple.
“Wow Yoonie! This place is so wonderful! I can’t believe I’ve never been before,” Jimin said, eyes sparkling as he took in the cozy place. It was bathed in soft oranges and yellows, lights delicately strung around the establishment. It only fit around 12 tables evenly spaced out within the restaurant.
“It’s cute isn’t it?”
Jimin nodded enthusiastically, still in awe of the small place. His excitement for such mundane things had been one of the reasons Yoongi had fallen for the younger boy so easily. Jimin had a way of making you feel like even the smallest task completed was worthy of a prize, he had a way of making people special.
“Order anything you want. Everything here is pretty good from what I remember.” Yoongi said as he scanned the small menu.
Jimin hummed as he took in the variety of food, “You sounds like you come here a lot, but you hardly leave the studio?”
“Yeah I used to come here all the time with J- myself. Uh, when I would finally drag myself home,” Yoongi finally said, voice even. If Jimin caught the slip up, he didn’t let it show.
“So you paying Hyung?” Jimin asked, already smiling at the older like he knew he was going to get exactly what he wanted anyways.
“Rock, paper, scissors for it?”
The younger immediately pouted, argument already forming on his tongue.
“You know I’m terrible at that Yoonie.” He whined as he extended his hand, seeming to accept his fate.
Yoongi flashed one of his rare full gummy smiles after he won. The younger boy keeping his pout in place, complaining that Yoongi was his Hyung and he should pay! That’s how it worked! As Jimin rattled off on why he shouldn’t pay, Yoongi just watched. It was easy to forget just how breathtaking Jimin was when he wasn’t smiling like this.
His Jimin was sadder, his light dimmer. Yoongi should have done better, should have kept fighting to keep the smile on the youngers face. There was a sense of longing that began overtaking him as Jimin kept talking. This Jimin was wonderful, but he wasn’t his.
He wasn’t the Jimin that rented a crappy apartment with him when they were barely adults. They only had a couple hundred to their name and it should have made them stressed, they should have hated it. To be living on their own in a glorified shoebox with shitty air conditioning but all he could remember was being happy.
He wasn’t the Jimin that forced him into face masks at 1am because ‘baby! You have been so stressed out, come on we deserve some relaxation.’ Jimin would massage lotion onto his face after and plant kisses onto every part of his face, purposely ignoring his lips. Yoongi would hardly last a full minute before grabbing Jimin’s face and planting a firm kiss on his mouth. Jimin giggling into his lips before whispering a soft ‘I love you.’
He finally snapped out after he registered this Jimin calling his name.
“You ready Hyung?” Jimin tilted his head at him, obviously wondering where he had gone off to.
“Yeah, we can go back to my place.” It wasn’t their place anymore, it wasn’t their home.
When Jimin left, Yoongi pulled out his phone and opened his previous conversation with Hobi. If there was anyone in this universe who wouldn’t think Yoongi was crazy when it came to this, it would be him.
The two bestest bros
Yoongles: listen before you call me crazy I need you to listen to me
Hoebi: … I’m all ears
Yoongles: what do you think about alternative
universes
Hoebi: uh? I don’t really think of them
Hoebi: I guess they could be real
Yoongles: you’re not my hobi
Yoongles: I’m not your yoongi
Hoebi: … what
Yoongles: I woke up here okay? This morning I woke up and listen I know this sounds stupid and you probably think I’m insane but I need to talk to someone about this I feel like I’m going insane.
Yoongles: In my universe I told Jimin I loved him. We have been together for 9 years.
Hoebi: say I believe you… why would you be here then?
Yoongles: because I was stupid. I was so fucking stupid. I thought I would be happy just being Jimin’s best friend again. I fell asleep wishing I never told him I loved him and I thought I would be okay with it. I thought I would be okay being his best friend but I’m not. I miss him. I miss everything about him. I even miss the annoying shit he would do because he just loved me so much. He wouldn’t let me sleep in because he was worried I would miss my day. He wouldn’t let me skip meals even to work because he just wanted me healthy. I took it all for granted and I just want to go back, but I don’t know how
Hoebi: Yoongi I don’t know what to say to this… but I believe you
Hoebi: You are talking about him differently, he has never done that stuff for you because well he was always with Joon. You also have forgotten a lot of stuff… like the fact that you dated Jin. You may have thought you saved yourself during that slip up but I know you better than you know yourself in any universe
Yoongles: what do I do
Hoebi: that I can't tell you… maybe it’s a fate thing? Maybe if you tell him you love him in this universe then you go back??
Yoongles: you think that will work?
Hoebi: what do you gotta lose
☾
Two days had passed since Yoongi woke up in this universe. Two days of wedding planning, and hanging out with Jimin like he once longed to. They were obviously best friends in this universe, never a dull moment between them. Everytime he looked at this Jimin he questions why the Yoongi in this universe would ever let him go. How he could just stand back as he got married. If his Jimin were to try and marry anyone else, Yoongi is pretty sure he would lose his mind. The thought alone already leaving an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach.
While things weren’t terrible in this universe he couldn’t help but just want to go home. He wanted his moderate apartment, his cramped studio and his Jimin. This Jimin was wonderful and Yoongi could have found himself falling in love again if things were different. If every time he looked at Jimin he didn’t think about the one he left behind.
Things were shitty in his own world, but they were also wonderful. He had a home and not just a place to close his eyes. His longing was the only reason he agreed with Hobi in the first place. Yoongi was desperate, willing to try anything to go home and leave this all behind like a distant memory.
Plans were always easier in theory. Anytime he managed to get the younger boy alone someone would barge in. He was one more intrusion away from locking Jimin in a room and just yelling his confession in his face.
The days started to get closer, the wedding already only three days away when Hobi finally had enough.
“Alright, we are making a plan because if we don’t do this by Friday then you my friend are stuck here and as much as I love Yoongi in every universe.. you aren’t my Yoongi.” Hobi said as he shoved fried rice in his mouth, Yoongi watched him eat with a thinly veiled disgust. The other boy really knew how to stuff his face.
“What do you propose we do then? I’ve already tried not once, but three times to confess to him and every single time something interrupts us.” Yoongi sighed as his friend continued eating, seemingly more interested in his food and not the fact that Yoongi was going to be stuck in another universe . Literally what was his life at this point.
“Just invite him over, I’ll make sure Joon stays distracted.” Hobi said, “Jimin will make time for you no matter what, that boy is the definition of whipped.”
Yoongi chewed on the inside of his cheek as he pulled out his phone, Hobi was right. They were still obviously whipped for each other but the thought of finally telling Jimin he loved him made his stomach twist. If they weren’t right about this, Yoongi was stuck here.
☾
That was how Yoongi found himself two days later, trying to keep himself calm. He had texted Jimin approximately 2 hours ago and like Hobi had said, he was going to come over. After checking that his best friend did in fact have Namjoon thoroughly distracted, the weight of the situation finally set in. This was it. Tonight he was going to confess again, and he was either going home or he was staying here. He was either going back to his boyfriend who loved him even though he was an asshole who didn’t deserve him, or he was going to have to watch him walk down the aisle and lose him forever.
Yoongi paced back and forth, trying to stomp down the panic attack bubbling just below the surface. Confessing the first time had already been hell, Yoongi recalls being so nervous he had almost left the house without putting on pants. That confession was easier than this though, this time he has everything riding on this. If this didn’t work, he would be stuck here. He would have to spend the rest of his life knowing that his Jimin was alone, and this Jimin would be married to someone who wasn’t him.
Before he could work himself up more there was a soft knock on his door, he froze. Willing himself to breathe properly he tentatively opened the door, Jimin stood on the other side. He wore a soft pink sweater, one that he remembered buying him back when they were just 18 years old, it was still too big on his small frame. The younger boy flashed a small smile at him before running his hand through his hair, a nervous tick he could never quite get rid of.
“Hi” Yoongi breathed, the nervousness still bubbling inside of him. He hated it, hated how small he felt again, like he was back to being a helpless teenager.
“You gonna let me in?” Jimin asked, his smile faltering a little as they stood there, just looking at one another. Yoongi moved out of the way, trying to maintain a smile as the smaller boy made himself comfortable on the black couch that took up majority of the living room.
As Yoongi joined him, the weight settling at the bottom of his stomach grew heavier. Jimin didn’t say anything, just continued to play with the hem of his sweater, waiting for the silence to be broken. Since he had first met the younger boy, the silence between them was anything but comfortable. Unspoken confessions finally catching up to them.
“I don’t know how to do this.” Yoongi finally said after the two sat in silence for what felt like hours. Jimin looked at him, his eyes anxious.
“Don’t know how to do what Yoongi?” Jimin asked, voice as small as he felt. Yoongi studied the boy in front of him, a new sense of longing taking over. Everything about him was always so beautiful, from the soft hair that framed his face to his small hands that fit in Yoongi's like they were made for it. Why hadn’t Yoongi appreciated Jimin in his own world?
Jimin had given him everything. He had found a way into Yoongi’s heart, had made a home within him. A home that he didn’t know if he could get back.
“I don’t know how to tell you… that I’m in love with you.” It was like the world stopped spinning as Jimin released a harsh breath, his entire body tensing. The smaller boy refusing to meet his eyes, instead staring at the floor like he hoped it would open up and swallow them both whole.
“Yoongi… you can’t. Please you can’t do this. I- I don’t. I-I’m getting married and you can’t just tell me you l- that you… no.” Jimin rambled, his entire frame trembling as he curled into himself. Yoongi tried to reach for him but Jimin flinched out of the way before jumping off the couch.
“Jimin-“ Yoongi started but stopped short as Jimin interrupted.
“Please don’t. Yoongi.. I’m getting married tomorrow. Fuck, you’re my best man. You can’t be in love with me?!” Jimin’s voice getting higher with each word. His hand continuously running through his hair, lip turning a vibrant red as bit into it, trying to calm himself down.
“I couldn’t let you get married without telling you. It wouldn’t have been fair… to either of us.” Yoongi said, standing up to pull Jimin’s hand from his hair and into his own.
“I’ve loved you since the day you stole my bike helmet when we were 12. I love everything about you Jimin. There hasn’t been a day where you weren’t my entire world, where you weren’t my home. I know you’re getting married but I just- I had to tell you. I can’t-“ Yoongi was interrupted by soft lips pressing against his.
Kissing Jimin was like getting rain after a drought. It was everything you ever needed, but still not enough. Yoongi kissed back, wrapping his arms around the smaller boys waist to tug him as close as possible. As Yoongi moved his hand up to cup Jimin’s face, the other boy froze.
“I can’t- I- I have to go.” Jimin stuttered out, twisting out of Yoongi’s grip. Before Yoongi had a chance to reply, Jimin was already out the door without so much as a second glance.
Yoongi stayed like that, staring at his open door. It felt like everything began closing in around him, his knees buckling as he realized that he was still here. It hadn’t worked. He was still in the same universe where Jimin was getting married to someone else, someone who loved him more than anything else. Someone who treated him like he deserved, instead of how Yoongi had treated him. He pulled out his phone, sending an update to Hobi. With his best friend on the way he finally alley himself break down, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks as he sobbed into his couch.
He wasn’t going home. He wasn’t going to get to apologize to Jimin, he lost him not once but twice.
Hobi showed up not even 10 minutes later, a small smile on his lips as he pulled out various tubs of ice cream.
“Did you bring enough to feed an army?” Yoongi asked, eyes zoning in on the mint chocolate chip container.
Hobi laughed as he grabbed a basic vanilla for himself, “My Yoonie loved ice cream when he was sad but he had a thing for mixing them.”
Yoongi dug into the mint chocolate, already feeling a tad bit better. Hobi plopped down on to the couch next to him, his hand resting on the olders knee as a form of comfort.
“I would just give him time, if he doesn’t reach out in the next hour or so… then you should.” Hobi said as he drew comforting circles across his skin.
“Looks like you are stuck with me now.” Yoongi laughed, the sound rough, his voice not fully recovered from the breakdown he just had.
Hobi smiled warmly at him, shrugging as he took another bite of his ice cream. “That’s not a bad thing, it’s like getting to know each other all over again!”
Yoongi appreciated the positive gesture but it didn’t stop the painful beating of his heart as the reality sunk in.
“I don’t know if I can stand in his wedding tomorrow.” Yoongi finally said, his head pounding at the thought of Jimin saying ‘I do.’ Hobi stayed silent for a bit, the air between them stiff.
“I think that’s your choice, but Jimin will be devastated.” The younger boy finally said, tone even. Yoongi knew how devastated the other boy would be but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t watch the man he had spent the last 9 years with get married to someone else. Even if this Jimin wasn’t ever technically his, it would be too painful.
Hobi stayed for an hour, the two just watching some terrible sitcom. Neither brought up the elephant in the room, content to pretend it was just another normal night. As Yoongi walked the younger boy to the door, Hobi hugged him fiercely. Probably his way of trying to bring just the slightest bit of comfort to the broken man in front of him.
It was another hour before his phone vibrates against his thigh, Jimin’s name flashing on the screen.
Hyungs favorite
Jimin ♡: I wanted to do this in person but I just… couldn’t
Jimin ♡: Yoongi… what happened tonight doesn’t change anything. I’m getting married tomorrow, I love Joonie.
Jimin ♡: stop typing and let me finish!
Jimin ♡: I love Joonie, but Yoongi I love you too. I love you so fucking much and hearing you say those words to me was one of the best feelings I’ve ever had… but I can’t just give up everything.
Jimin ♡: you are never home. you never leave your studio. you are constantly working yourself to death and I can’t just watch you do that. I know that if we were to get together, you wouldn’t change. You’re so passionate about your work and it’s amazing, what you do is amazing but you know me… you know how insecure I can be. I would need you here for me, not every day but at least some of the time.
Jimin ♡: I would want to fall asleep in your arms every night. I would want to be able to have lunch with you every now and then. I would want you to attend my shoes and I would want you to be with me after. I would want so much from you and I just don’t think you would be able to give it to me.
Jimin ♡: I won’t lie to you though, I have loved you since I understood what love was. I wish I could be happy with the life you live, I wish it could be enough but Yoongi… it’s not enough.
Jimin ♡: I know asking you to be my best man is a lot to ask… but I don’t think I can say I do with you there, next to me. I need you there and I know it selfish.. but I don’t want to do this without you.
Jimin ♡: For once Yoongi can you just put my happiness first. Just this once?
Yoongi felt like he was punched, the air around him suddenly getting thinner. He had read those words before, the night he had made the stupid fucking wish. He wanted to tell Jimin no, he wanted to scream that he loved him and that he couldn’t do it because it would kill him…. but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
The Jimin in this world was the meaning of warmth, he radiated happiness. Yoongi couldn’t be the person to make him cold, he couldn’t do what he did to his own Jimin. He had fucked up in his own world, had taken the only person he ever truly loved for granted.
He thought he wanted to just be Jimin’s best friend. Thought it would be so much easier than having someone who cared about him. His Jimin had been his light. Yoongi had just been to wrapped up in himself to notice how cold it felt with the warmth stripped away from him. The last time he had seen his Jimin in person, they didn’t fight. It was a rare occurrence, both boys too tired to find something to argue about.
They had laid in bed, looking at each other. Jimin pouting slightly as he studied the bags under Yoongi’s eyes.
“You haven’t been sleeping much have you?” Jimin asked, reaching out to trace face lightly.
“I’ve had some long nights.” Yoongi responded, grabbing Jimin’s hand easily intertwining their fingers.
Jimin didn’t seem to like that answer, scrunching his nose slightly but the younger stayed silent, obviously not wanting to start a fight. They stayed quiet, comfortable. It had been one of the best nights Yoongi could remember having with his boyfriend, the next day, they went back to fighting the next day.
Yoongi felt longing in his chest, he didn’t want this. He didn’t want to let Jimin go again but he deserved to be happy. If anyone deserved to be happy it was the younger boy. He had to let him go.
Hyungs favorite:
Yoonie: I love you. I love you so fucking much.
Yoonie: I’ll be there for you. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
Yoonie: I’ll always choose your happiness Jimin, forever.
☾
Yoongi jolted awake, his head spinning as he felt his phone vibrate against his thigh. Fuck. He was late, he had to be, he didn’t even remember falling asleep. Jimin was going to kill him for being late to the wedding, he was probably the one texting him to cuss him out.
He froze as he saw his lockscreen, Jimin’s smiling face displayed proudly. His heart beating wildly against his chest as he took in his surroundings, he was back in his crappy studio. His small desk pushed against the wall, one computer sitting on it. The couch he sat on was small and tattered, but it was his. It was the couch Jimin has crammed into his studio when he started spending the night. He quickly unlocked his phone, almost choking at the last message he received.
<3
Jiminie: Yoongi?
Jiminie: hey I’m making dinner, you almost here?
Jiminie: you aren’t responding… is that a no?
Jiminie: of course you aren’t coming home tonight
Yoongi nearly cried, could feel the relief course through his body. He was back in his own world, this was his Jimin. Yoongi didn’t hesitate to respond, already grabbing his jacket and shutting the lights to the studio off.
<3
Yoonie: dinner sounds great, I’m already on my way home.
Yoonie: how about we eat in bed tonight? Maybe watch your favorite anime?
Yoonie: I’m off for the next week, so we have all the time in the world.
Yoonie: I missed you.
Yoonie: I’ll see you at home.