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''Come back to me.''
His voice is straight and flat, but underneath the facade, he's shivering. Calloused fingers trace over the cheek of the raven haired girl laying in front of him. His deft fingertips ghost over her smooth skin delicately as if her skin would break if he pressed any harder.
Dave Strider would have scoffed at you if you told him what he was doing right now, few years back.
His tear stained eyes are in full view to anyone who is there to see him hover over Jade Harley. Crimson eyes burn with anger and pain as he continues to stroke her cheek. His fingertips taint her cold cheeks with his warmth, causing him to shiver. He doesn't care about the discomfort or the noises his friends are making, because all he wants is her to come back. He doesn't know how he is going to live without her. He stares at her and it feels like time has stopped. He takes in every strand of her hair, her doggy ears and her dead stare.
His discarded shades lay beside them, along with Jade's round glasses. There is red on her lips, gleaming rivulets of blood trickling down the side of her face. He attempts to wipe it off but smears her flawless skin with her blood in the process. He feels numb all over, he doesn't even know if the thing he's feeling is sadness.
His ears are burning and his pale skin feels like static. His face is sticky from the dried tears that have stained his battle-worn skin. John is shouting at the darkness, the space of darkness that never seems to end, speckled by bright stars. Karkat is crying while Terezi holds him in her arms, comforting him. Rose is laying on the floor, sobbing, unmoving and Kanaya is the most composed, but the translucent green tears forming under her eyes are visible.
But he pushes them all out of his mind because all he needs right now is for Jade to come back. His lips meet hers, and he tastes blood. He knows it won't resurrect her, but he kisses her anyway. There is no force in his kiss, just lightly planting his lips on hers. He can feel his warm breath beating against her cold skin. His forced shut eyes don't see her dead green ones. He stays like that for what it feels like forever in his head but his instincts tell him it's exactly six minutes and twelve seconds before a force hits him. It feels like all the air in his lungs have been pushed out when John tackles him from behind, screaming words that Dave can't seem to process. Dave snarls at John, but John's face is in a reluctant smile. Dave follows John's gaze down the the gold resting in his palms. His breath hitches as he reaches for the ring, hands shaking all the way as he slips it on Jade's slim fingers. It fits like a glove and he watches her, waiting for her eyes to flutter open. It's going to be okay, Jade is going to come back.
Seconds pass before it hits him that it's not going to work this time. Her face remains there, still, no trace of the burning, energetic girl that used to thrive. The numbness that has enveloped him recedes, and his chest feels like it is burning. He feels nauseous and he can feel his head pounding.
She's not coming back. He screams and screams. It's not fair. IT'S NOT FAIR. He can't hear himself scream, but he feels a pair of hands around his arms holding him back from kicking and thrashing. Another pair of hands are around his waist, preventing him from collapsing.
''Come back to me.'' He whispers when all his energy is gone, when his outburst washed over.
It should have been him. He was going to do the noble thing, be the knight, the sacrificing hero, save the day. He was going to die (and he wouldn't mind dying if it meant he could be with her) but she somehow managed to let them switch places so she would be the one hit with the bright burst of energy.
Asshole, he thinks to himself as he sits up in his bed, two weeks later. He was going to die and leave Jade alone. He wants to throw something, anything, at the wall, but John took everything away after his rancorous fits from waking up from his nightmares. There are still visible cracks and scrape marks on the wall in front of him, some brown, some red. He can't bring himself out of his room after the funeral. Roxy coaxes him to eat, but he doesn't have the appetite to. He can't even bring himself to look at Jane in the eye, she reminds him too much of her.
Some nights he jolts up from his sleep and reaches over to find for Jade's warmth, Jade's skin, for comfort, but there never is anything there. It is just cold air, it is just space. He lets tears slip out of his eyes (it's his fault, it's all his fault) and pretends not to know exactly how many minutes it takes for him to fall deep back into slumber.
Some nights he stays up, arms fresh with scars and a blade swinging freely from his fingertips. Rose wrestles it away from him when they catch him one night. John just watches in horror.
He hears ticking every day, it's distant but internal but enough to drive him nuts. They don't keep clocks in the house anymore.
What happened to the cool, inexpressive boy that used to stand in his place? He wonders, four months (and 13 days) later as he walks alone outside the planet they've settled in. The scenery is lush, full of odd, black shrubs with fluorescent green flowers. They remind him of her 3 AM dress and the way she moved in them when they were 13. He sits wistfully under a tree, grasping at the soil underneath him.
An answer forms at the tip of his tongue. He doesn't know.
''Jade would be proud of you.'' John says to him, after ten minutes and 25 seconds of silence. It's been two whole year since they've buried her, and John's birthday the day before was filled with joy but everyone wore a mask above the traumatic events. It was mostly silent. There was no cake.
''I know.'' He replies, trying to absorb the warmth of the coffee in the mug he is holding. The scars on his arms are fading. He's started rapping and making music again (he refuses to touch the bass samples Jade's sent to him. They were somehow miraculously saved. He can't bring himself to touch them. It feels so wrong without her.) and Dirk and him have started strifing again.
He knows that he should let go of the girl of his dreams, but it feels so wrong. It was all just text before, green clashing with red on a blaring screen. He told himself it was dumb because they had never met in person before. But they turned into something much more. He'd also never find out if she returned his feelings and that's what scars him the most.
He's afraid to forget her.
He doesn't. Even if nobody mentions her name. even if everyone pretends she's never existed for their own sake.
He doesn't forget her when he moves on and lives past his 40th birthday.
He doesn't forget her when he slips, descending ten whole stories, and sees nothing but white. But when he sees her, draped in white, he runs towards her ghostly figure and holds her in his arms and laughs and laughs until he cries and sobs into her gown, white, empty eyes almost incapable of producing tears. Jade's own blank gaze mirrors his, but she's smiling with melancholy.
''I missed you so much.''
''I missed you too.''
He opens his mouth to say that he loves her, but she beats him to it. She holds him tight as they walk together into the light. They need to catch up, but she knows it's not the right time for it when he's crying and being a spluttering mess. She hushes him and plants kisses into his platinum blonde hair as he silently cries in her arms.
''I really, really missed you.''
''I know, me too. But all that matters is that we're together now.''
And suddenly to him, 41 years and 3 days of wait to be reunited with her doesn't seem long at all.