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Touch and wanting to be touched is new. Dawsey caresses her hand carefully as if she is a book he treasures. They are being starred at by an old woman on the side of the boat. She mutters about propriety to her husband and children as they take the next ferry back to Guernsey.
“Do you see that?” The old woman grumbles. “A woman of loose morals. Carry on about like that with a MAN in broad daylight.”
The guilt flashes across Dawsey’s face as he runs his thumb over her ring finger. As if he should have planned this better. He is a quiet man with a world of words in his head. She sees his brows furrow as he runs through a million things to say.
Juliet doesn’t hesitate as she takes his left hand and kisses the skin where a ring will one day brand him as hers. His soft smile spreads across Dawsey’s face as he kisses her with all the quiet passion of him.
“Let them talk.” Juliet whispers to the man she loves.
~*~
Dawsey doesn’t hesitate as he grabs her bags. His nervous energy running through him. “Where.. where were you intending to stay?” He doesn’t look at her. The sun is down, and the walk to Amelia’s is farther than she would like.
“I-I don’t know how to…” He tries to explain. “I want to do right, proper by you.”
Juliet takes her typewriter bag from his hand and twins her fingers in his. “What would you prefer?”
He swallows as he looks towards the Inn, where he first met her. Turning back to her he crushes her hand in his. “Home.”
“Will Kit be there?” She says softly .
“No.” Dawsey tips his head towards Amelia’s. “They should be done making pies by now, although I would imagine she is asleep.”
“Oh.” Juliet realizes what it means, and she thinks of Charlotte and the eyes coming from the windows. Alone in a house with a man she intends to marry.
“It is a shame,” she begins drawing his eyes to her, “that a priest was unavailable to marry us on that boat.”
“Oh, Amelia would have never forgive either of us in such an event.” Dawsey chuckles.
“I cannot even imagine Isola or Kit being quite happy with us either and Eben would have to make his famous potato peel pie for such an occasion .” Juliet laughs along with him, no doubt waking some of the citizens as they walk through town. “Do you think the Society is waiting for us?”
“With baited breath.” He looks up at the stars. “Let us not keep them. I believe it would be the end of us if we did not go now.”
“You still long for home?” Juliet asks quietly .
“You will be there soon enough,” he crushes her hand in his as they make their way to Amelia’s.
~*~
Eben is a wide eyed wonder as he opened the door to them. “Oh, thank goodness you didn’t marry that Yank.” He takes Juliet into a wide hug and she can feel him grinning with his energy electric. “Dawsey, my boy! You did it.” The old man makes way to wrap him in a hug.
They are all there Isola, Amelia, Eben, Eli, and the soft snores of Kit sleeping that almost filled the hole Elizabeth had left .
Dawsey stepped back to where Juliet stood and carefully placed a hand on the small of her back. She looked at him and smiled with the entire room falling silent. “We’re engaged.” Dawsey announced.
~*~
“Do you dance?” Juliet playfully asks.
“No. I never had the opportunity to, and…” He brushes his hands against his shirt. “Never quite found a partner.”
“Oh, well then… when you do I recommend you try it.” Juliet giggles as he reaches for her pulling her closer than intended.
“I am getting married, perhaps my bride would be a willing teacher.” He leans closer. This new found intimacy for a man who had kept himself so closed off was strange and new.
~*~
"Kit’s finally asleep.” Juliet says at the door of his bedroom. The familiar Charles Lamb book with her letters sitting by it’s side. She’s always been there, she supposes, waiting for her to find him. He has washed up for the evening after a long day of work. His hair is soft as she touches it bringing his attention back to her.
There is something different in his eyes as he looks at her, like he did once ago in this very spot. The nervous hand gesture always there as this time he surges forward and wrapping his arms around her as she pulls herself into his embrace . He is taller than her, even on her toes.
They are a mess as they fall into the bed not breaking the physical contact they both so desperately want and need . Dawsey scoots back on the bed as he lets Juliet take the lead. “Juliet,” he breathes against her, “my Juliet.” His hands run up her back drawing her closer to him, filling her with a heat she hasn’t known.
With Mark, he always pushed her in a direction she never had a chance to truly feel anything, but now? Now her nerves feel like they are on fire. They are a few days until their wedding. A few days until their vows. She has never been more sure of anything as she is in this moment with this man and their words they’ve shared.
“Dawsey,” she stops him as his hands fall to her hips as she straddles the crux of his legs. He stares at her like she is this unearthly thing, an angel made only for him, and she can see the shame fill him.
“I-I’m sorry… I should not have…” he looks around them a little lost. Unsure of himself, the heat is dying down but she wants, oh God, she wants. “I..”
She has always been a modern girl why would she do anything in the right order? Juliet holds his gaze as she wraps her fingers in his, drawing him back to her. This is not about anyone else she tries to get across. This isn’t about Elizabeth, or Kit, or everything before or ahead. It’s a moment that is theirs. “Kiss me,” she breathes. He surges forward drawing her mouth towards his. It is still soft and sweet and kind, as if he doesn’t know any other way to be.
This is a dance she has to lead as she bites his lower lip, eliciting a groan. “Juliet,” He sighs against her lips opening his mouth to meet hers in similar ferocity. She gasps as he drags her to him closer as if he could merge them into one being. Her small clever fingers begin working his shirt trying to lift it over his head but he keeps having to touch her and kiss her . She wins, she always does, as she finally removes the offending garment.
His chest is broad and shoulders firm to the touch. She runs her hands over his skin, the feeling beneath her fingers as he sighs with each touch. The sprinkle of hair from his chest down his torso. She leans forward and places a tentative kiss on his neck, peppering kisses up to his jaw. She knows he has never been kissed like this, loved like this. She is still a virgin but there were a few that got close during the war. “Dawsey,” she whispers looking him in the eyes. “Do you want to?”
“God, yes.” With the same smile on a pier when she asked him to marry him, that same weight to his eyes when she told him she loved him.
“Good, cause I thought I’d ask.” He laughs against her as he quickly uses his size to gain momentum and flip her giggling on her back. “Kit…” she hisses thinking of the sleeping little girl.
“She has slept through our loud meetings, but in case…” He carefully moves off the bed and closes the door. Juliet licks her lip seeing his lines move without a shirt. He is handsome, a bit malnourished in a way that has followed him from the war. The wounds on his back from all the labor over the years. He turns to her and looks at her flush against his sheets and she feels joy.
Juliet moves as he watches from the door she’s not as experienced in men but she knows how to make them want. She sits up slowly as his eyes watch her curiously . She maintains eye contact in command of the entire situation. She can see his hands brush against his pants. “Do you want to touch me?” She asks.
“Yes.” He answers.
She reaches behind her and moves to unhook her bra. Her fingers catch on the clasp and she almost growls trying to catch it. She can hear Dawsey trying not to laugh. “Help me.” She grumbles at him. He moves next to her and quickly helps with his fumbling hands.
“I’m nervous too.” She says softly to him.
“I just want to do… this.. right.” He hesitates.
“We don’t have to do anything, we can wait if that is what you want.”
He nods and looks around the room, breathing heavy. “I don’t want you to think I don’t want you.” He turns to her. “I always want you. In every part of every day.”
“Then not tonight,” She leans in and kisses him. He responds with the same fervor.
“Stay.” He asks.
“People will talk.” She says quietly .
“They always talk and you’ll be here always soon enough.” He picks up his discarded shirt and hands it to her. She quickly puts it on. “I like that look on you.” She smiles as he wraps himself around her. The two of them falling quickly to sleep to the rhythm of his heart beating in her ear. It is a song just for her.
~*~
It is almost mid day when she wakes in Dawsey’s bed. She can hear the sound of the pigs in the yard and the smell of him all around her. “Dawsey?” She calls softly getting up still in his shirt. She looks through the house and sees no sign of the man or Kit. She wanders back upstairs to see if he perhaps wrote her a letter explaining why he wasn’t here. There is an ache in her heart at the front of her attention. She sits down on his bed looking for a piece of parchment with any explanation.
All she finds is Charles Lamb by the bedside and the sun through the window nearby. There is anger and hurt she pushes aside as she walks towards the water basin to wash. He is not the type to just leave her and a new fear fills her.
What if something happened
And then there are heavy steps on the floor, ones that are as familiar to her as her own name. Juliet turns slightly to look towards the door and he stands in his vest and cap watching her, watching him. “Kit insisted on visiting Amelia this morning, and I couldn’t bare to wake you.. you looked so peaceful.”
“Dawsey,” Juliet says softly and she can feel his breath catch at his name. “Next time,” she gives him a sly smile. “Wake me.”
“Oh, I had an intention on how to wake you.” He shly looks at the floor.
“Do tell?” She turns fully to him, the light streaming behind her, and tickling her face as she watches him. He swallows at her form, outlined in the light.
He almost hops over the bed in a comic like fashion and closes the distance between them. His mouth meeting hers as she stretches up to meet him. “Something like this.” He opens his eyes and she returns the kiss with fervor and it’s not enough.
“Help me,” he seems to catch her meaning as he lifts her up onto the basin giving her more leverage. “Thank you, you are quite tall.” She playfully taps against his shoulder.
“I can stop if you like,” He nods at her grimly and she laughs with delight.
“Don’t you dare,” she giggles putting her arms around his shoulders. Clasping her hands behind his neck as she leans towards him pressing kisses up his neck. His breath hitching with each further touch as he is moved to boldness. Dawsey is lifting her body to his, placing his hands scandalously high on her thighs.
The movement causes her to grasp against his lips, as an unfamiliar heat begins to grow inside of Juliet. Dawsey crushes her against him as he moves her away from the basin and places her gently on his bed. He kisses her deeply and she can feel him smile against her. “This was more of the plan,” he whispers and looks at her.
“My, Mr. Adams you seem to have grown bold in these last few hours.” She leans up and kisses him.
He closes his eyes and moves with the feeling growing inside. “I..” he hesitates. “Love you.” Juliet smiles at him like the sun and all the words he has missed before seemed to no longer matter. Her deft hands quickly remove his vest and pull his shirt free of his trousers.
“I love you.” Juliet says running her hands over his bare shoulders as she looks at him.
“I’m sorry I’m so…” He looks away, he is too skinny he knows.
“You are perfect.” Juliet pulls him towards her crushing his body against her own, he gasps as she holds him in the cradle of her body. She is still fully clothed in his shirt but he is in wide eyed wonder of this incredible woman who has chosen him. “Now help me out of these dreadful things that are keeping me from feeling you.”
Dawsey grins against her lips. He pulls away just long enough to reverently run his hand down the center of her body. Down past the valley of her breasts, and to the clasp of her trousers she wore the other night. He gives her one last look seeking approval before hooking his finger and slow moving them down her legs. He is bewitched by each inch of smooth skin that is revealed . He listens as her breath catches as he runs his calloused thumb near the rim of her undergarments.
Testing he leans down and kisses the same soft skin on her belly that elicited the reaction. “Dawsey,” Juliet pleads and it sounds like music. Curiously , he runs his hand under his shirt pushing it further up to explore more of the hidden skin beneath.
Juliet, ever the impatient one, reaches down and removes the rest of her shirt herself. She lays almost bare in his bed, in his house, and he cannot think of a much more perfect way to spend the day. She eyes him from the soft pillow where her hair has haloed around her head as if presenting him a challenge.
One that he accepts gladly as he surges up to kiss her, the feel of skin on skin almost too much for the both of them. Juliet wraps her legs around his hips and draws him closer to her. Juliet threads her fingers through his hair pulling him even closer. Her mouth opening and her clever tongue urging him to do the same. He’s never kissed like this as the feeling between them grows.
Juliet moves her hips so she runs herself against the length of him. Dawsey stops with the shock of it, the feel of it, and the heat of her. Juliet takes control, moving him onto his back and slipping her hand into his trousers. He gasps as she touches him, her hand running down the length of him. “Juliet…I...”
“Is this alright?” She asks hesitantly .
“Yes,” he gasps and she then keeps moving. She is curious as his face changes with each touch of her fingers. Juliet begins to try to edge his trousers down and he helps her. Freeing him from the confines of his pants. “I haven’t really-“
“Neither have I truly .” Juliet gives him a soft smile and crawls up him to kiss him on the lips. “We can stop, Dawsey, I want you… I need you but… if”
“Do you want to stop?” He runs his hand through her hair down to her jaw and softly kisses her. “I would not like to. You woke something in me… I was content being lonely and then you came along… and even after… I thought it might just be resigned to longing… but your words… I… I had to.”
“Dawsey Adams, you wonderful man.” She crushes herself against him. Her nakedness, her skin on his, the display of absolute love and trust emboldens him to roll her on her back. Her hands that were in his hair crawl down her own body to push the rest of her clothing down her legs. To take the bit of trouser she can reach and moving it further down his body with her foot. “I need you. Always.” She breathes against him, and rolls her hips against his.
He pushes forward closing the distance. Gasping into her mouth as he gently , slowly pushes inside her, then bliss. Her nails claw at his back at the first thrust. Dawsey stops himself and looks at her face which is closed and wincing.
"Did I- I hurt you?” He stutters.
“It hurts the first time, for a girl,” Juliet breathes out with a whoosh and looks him in the eye. He is earnest and car=ring as she runs her hand along his jaw. She gives him a nod and he tries again slow, almost painfully slow for him. She gasps as he almost leaves her and ushers him closer with her leg groaning as he finds his way to her again. “D-Dawsey.” She moans against his ear and it’s the sweetest sound. He finds he wants to hear it again and again as he moves in similar fashion to elicit the same sound. His senses filling and stretching as he moves within her.
He pants against her lips as he grabs her leg hitching it over his waist with his hand. Dawsey finding another angle that makes her cry out, but not in pain. She clutches him to her, nails running along his shoulders cutting in his flesh. Her marking him as her own as much as a wedding band would. There is a feeling of tightening around him as she nearly cries out his name.
Losing himself in the whole of her he releases what he had held back as he holds her body close. “Juliet, my Juliet.” He whispers hot and exhausted against her ear.
The two of them lay there in the mess of them, gasping for air. “How-“ Juliet pants and looks over at him “do we intend to get anything done when we could be doing THAT!” She motions excitedly with her hands as he smiles along the softness of her.
~*~
Their wedding is a small and humble affair by the sea. Their favorite books on the table. Their family around them. Kit throwing lavender flowers as she dances through the small aisles. Sydney walks with her arm in arm. “You could have had the posh wedding of the century, a house in the west end…” he whispers, “but none of it would be home.”
He nods to the man ahead of them as he leads her down the aisle. Sydney kisses her cheek and leaves her to a future of her own choosing. Led by Charles Lamb and a book she loved and loved well. “Hello.” She says smiling at Dawsey.
“Hello, Mrs. Adams.” He smiles.
"Ashton-Adams." She gives him a look.
"As if it could be any other way." He smiles and the world seems to grow ever so much larger.