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“How does it feel?” Sooyoung asks Seulgi when they are eight years old, sitting in the yard boarded by their elementary school and the stream that runs through their town. This is the year that they are attached by the hip, mostly because Sooyoung is new and shy and not yet the obnoxiously (depending on who you ask) loud teenager she would become, and Seulgi likes being the bold one for once. “To find your soulmate?”
It is also the year that Seulgi meets Seungwan and the quarter notes on the inside of her left wrist that just perfectly match Seulgi’s on the right and that is when she knows; Seungwan is her soulmate.
There’s not much that Sooyoung knows about soulmates– she is eight years old and her primary fascination is with horses, although she has never seen one in real life. They are pretty, though, and in all of her favorite picture books, and she wonders if her soulmate will like horses too. Seulgi does not like horses. Seungwan does, though, and that is why Sooyoung does not understand why the universe has destined them for each other.
“It’s nice,” Seulgi shrugs, pulling up grass from the yard and twirling it between her fingers. “Wannie understands a lot of things about me.”
“But she likes horses. You don’t like horses.”
“That’s okay,” Seulgi laughs. “I like her.”
That’s gross, Sooyoung thinks, but if Seulgi likes Seungwan despite their core difference, there must be something to this soulmate thing.
(Still, she really wants hers to like horses.)
//
Sooyoung is 20 years old. She will punch you if you ever mention anything about her childhood horse fixation.
Seulgi and Seungwan had it easy, with their soulmate marks so prominently displayed on their wrists. Sooyoung? Not so much. When she was younger, she had cherished the horse head mark on her right upper back. Now, she shudders when she sees it in the mirror after showers. There’s no easy way to ask a woman you’re into if she happens to have a horse head on her back, either. Sooyoung’s pretty lonely, if she’s being completely honest– to put it lightly.
God, Seulgi and Seungwan had it so easy.
It’s not all bad, though. She’s found comfort in the small bits of their society that reject soulmate culture completely– these people don’t see any need in trusting a universe that has never shown any love to them. And she likes it, she supposes. There is always someone to kiss there, someone who is just as rejected as she is, just as hurt and twisted and burned where their soulmate marks meet their skin.
She’s at one of her friend’s places in the seedy part of town, laying on the couch with some girl named Yeri who she hardly knows. Yeri is cute, but young, even younger than Sooyoung is, which is saying something. Fresh out of high school, if she were to guess. “Where are you branded?” Yeri asks; Sooyoung can’t see any marks on Yeri’s skin.
Maybe she’s the one?
“On my back. You?” Sooyoung treads carefully, but she knows her answer as soon as the light drops from Yeri’s eyes.
“My ankle.”
“Ah.”
Silence. Then–
“What’s yours?” Yeri’s disappointed, she can tell. She’s still a little naive, still getting her hopes up every time she meets an unclaimed pretty girl. Sooyoung’s too used to this process by now– she’s almost as cynical as the people she surrounds herself with.
“It’s, uh, pretty stupid,” Sooyoung laughs, running a hand through her hair. “I used to be crazy obsessed with horses when I was a kid. So, my mark–“
“Is a horse?” Yeri sits up straight, leaning towards Sooyoung excitedly. Maybe Yeri’s an ex-horse girl, too, Sooyoung thinks. “A horse head?
“Uh, yeah, maybe…” Sooyoung trails off, fixing Yeri with a strange gaze. “Why…?”
“My sister…” Yeri murmurs, seeming almost hesitant to continue, and Sooyoung knows she’s probably waging a war in her head over the right decision. “She has a horse head on her back too. It’s, hm, on the left side, I think.”
And, as soon as Yeri says it, Sooyoung knows. It’s her.
“I’ve got to meet your sister.”
//
Yeri talks a lot when she’s nervous, Sooyoung learns. Joohyun is 24 years old, her step-sister, technically, but saying step-sister is too complicated and it’s just way easier to call Joohyun her sister instead, Yeri explains. Joohyun’s in her second-to-last year of being a student, in school to become a– “Get this!” Yeri giggles– a veterinarian. She likes to wear her hair down and she wears glasses and her first word was “yes” and, honestly, by the time they get to the doorstep, Sooyoung feels like she’s known Joohyun for years.
(Nothing could prepare her for how pretty Joohyun is, though. She answers the door and Sooyoung’s not proud to say she almost faints, if it weren’t for Yeri steadying her by her side.)
“Joohyunnie, I found your soulmate!” Yeri says, bright smile on her face, and Joohyun turns pale and, for a moment, it almost seems like Joohyun is the one who will need Yeri’s help standing straight. Joohyun recovers, though, clearing her throat and offering Sooyoung a smile to rival Yeri’s.
“Park Sooyoung,” Sooyoung tries her best at mimicking confidence, extending a slightly sweaty hand towards her soulmate. “It’s nice to meet you, at last.”
“Bae Joohyun,” Joohyun’s hand meets Sooyoung’s and Sooyoung knows that this is not a movie, this is reality, but that doesn’t explain the way she feels after their hands meet for the first time. She feels–
(She’s not sure what she feels; she is nervous and jittery and happy and scared and she might throw up on Bae Joohyun’s pristine white shoes and that would be awful.)
She feels complete.
Maybe, just maybe, the universe really was onto something when it declared Sooyoung and Joohyun soulmates. Maybe.
//
“I love you.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Even though you don’t like horses.”
“I love you too.”
//
Joohyun is the only person she will tolerate horses for.
They are disgusting and smelly and they shit everywhere, but they make Joohyun smile, and so they might not be that bad after all.
“Babe, come on, help me brush Lucky!” Joohyun calls out from inside the stable. It smells the worst there– Sooyoung tries to avoid going in on their visits with all her power. This time, though, she doesn’t really have a choice.
“I’m on my way!” Sooyoung sighs, begrudgingly making her way towards the main stable. She takes her time on the walk over, admiring the open, grassy space surrounding the stable. It’s a nice contrast from the city she’s used to, she’ll give it that much. And it’s a nice balance they have; living in the city doesn’t leave Joohyun many options to get in touch with her inner horse girl, so Sooyoung found the ranch for them to volunteer at some weekends. It’s incredibly rewarding to see Joohyun that happy.
Still, the smell. It’s awful. It’s a hot summer day, too, the kind of hot where all Sooyoung wants to do is lay naked in front of her fans on the floor of the living room at home. And yet, she’s here.
Joohyun smiles at her when she enters the stable, gazing out at her from underneath a sunhat, and Sooyoung can’t help but smile back, despite the sun and the heat and the horses and the smell.
It’s all worth it for Joohyun.