Chapter Text
“Hey!"
The smile spread across your face before you even realized it. You turned around and saw the green eyes with crinkles beside them, the plump lips open in a cheeky grin, and you let out a laugh.
"Hey, you!"
You reached under the bar and grabbed his favorite beer without him asking. You popped the top on it and set it on a napkin in front of him, and he shook his head.
"You’re too good to me, pretty girl."
You shrugged your shoulders and Dean took a long drink from the bottle. He motioned with his head and you leaned a little closer. He winked at you.
"How’s the crowd tonight?"
You rolled your eyes, dutifully ignoring the twinge in your chest.
"Slim picking, not to mention the fact that Cassie would literally kick your ass into next week."
Dean threw his head back with a laugh, and you swallowed, turning back to straightening the bottles on the shelf behind the bar again. You glanced in the mirror behind the bottles and saw Dean turn around, leaning his back against the bar as he surveyed the crowd. Your heart gave a thump in your chest as you stared at him, and you let out a quiet sigh.
"Something on your mind, pretty girl?”
You blinked wide eyes, pasting a smile on your face as you turned back. You shook your head.
“No, just … This song, you know?"
Nice save, you thought to yourself, as you heard "Every Rose Has Its Thorn” pumping through the speakers. Dean rolled his eyes.
“Poison’s a bullshit band.”
“Excuse me, I believe I’ve heard you jamming out to ‘Talk Dirty to Me’ more than once."
Dean made a face.
"Okay, so Poison rocks on occasion. And that occasion usually occurs after a few six-packs."
You laughed, shaking your head as you grabbed a rag and started wiping up the bar. Dean finished off his beer and you grabbed the empty and, without looking, tossed it into a trash can behind you. You flicked your eyes up to see the grin on his face, and you let out a laugh. He shook his head.
"I love it when you do that.”
“One of my many talents.”
“What’s another one?”
“Besides putting up with your drunk ass?"
Dean held a hand over his heart as he made a face, and you laughed.
"I kid.”
“That hurt, Y/N.”
“Shake it off, Winchester."
He snorted, then spoke again.
"Come on. Give me another talent.”
“Dean, we’ve known each other for, like, twenty years. You know all my talents.”
“Bound to be something I haven’t discovered yet."
You swallowed as you turned away from him again. You still haven’t discovered the fact that I’m head over heels in love with you. You blinked and turned back around, giving him a smile.
"I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue.”
“You’re lying."
You shook your head, and he pursed his lips.
"You got cherries back there?”
“It’s a bar, Dean. Of course.”
“Then show me. And can I have another beer?"
You rolled your eyes, pulling another beer out of the ice and popping the top on it, setting it in front of him. You walked over and grabbed a cherry, showing it to him before you ate the fruit off the stem. He watched you closely, as you bit the stem all the way up and down, tiny bites giving the cherry stem a bit more give. You slipped the stem into your mouth, and Dean watched you as you moved it around in your mouth, then lifted your hand to your lips. His mouth fell open when you showed him the cherry stem, now with a knot right in the middle of it.
"How the hell did you do that?"
You laughed, shrugging your shoulders, picking the rag back up and wiping the bar. You looked up as the bell over the door rang, and your heart sank. You put a smile on your face as the woman walked over, putting her purse on the bar and wrapping an arm around Dean. A bright smile broke out over his face when he turned his head, and you looked down at the bar as they kissed.
“Hey, Y/N.”
You lifted your head, smiling again.
“Hey, Cassie. What can I get you?”
She gave a quiet groan and climbed onto the barstool beside Dean.
“Something stronger than what Dean’s drinking.”
“Long day, baby?”
“You have no idea.”
You swallowed as you turned around, grabbing a glass and pouring a small amount of scotch into it. You turned back, setting a napkin down in front of her, then setting the glass onto it. She didn’t take her attention away from whatever Dean was saying as she took a sip of her drink, but after she swallowed, she turned to you.
“You’re the best. Keep this coming for a while?”
You nodded, turning and walking down the bar. When you heard Dean’s laugh, you let out a breath and laid your hands on the bar.
“Christ, what is she doing here?”
You let out a quiet laugh.
“You scared me half to death, Jo.”
The woman who’d walked up without you knowing set the tray under the bar and walked to stand beside you, glaring at Dean and Cassie down the bar.
“Seriously. Who invited her?”
“Probably her boyfriend, Joanna.”
Jo rolled her brown eyes, shaking her head, tossing her blonde hair off her shoulders. You glanced down the bar, seeing Dean lean closer to Cassie, his arm on the back of her chair, every now and then moving to rub her arm. You let out a sigh and Jo leaned over, bumping her shoulder against yours. You shook your head, speaking softly.
“I know I’m pathetic.”
“No, you’re not. You can’t help who you love. Come on, help me get some stuff out of the back.”
You nodded, turning around and following her, deliberately not looking down at the end of the bar.
You shut the door behind you as quietly as you could, then slipped the shoes off of your feet with a quiet groan. You sucked in a breath as the light came on, then rolled your eyes with a smile when you caught sight of the giant at the end of the hall, muscular arms crossed over his wide chest.
“Honey, you’re home.”
You rolled your eyes again and made your way to the kitchen.
“Hi, honey. I’m home. What are you doing up so late?”
Sam let out a sigh.
“I’ve got this test in a couple days that I’m stressing over, and Jess has a cold, so she’s snoring like a freight train.”
You snorted, shaking your head.
“She’d kill you for saying that.”
“It’s true. If you’re very, very quiet, you might can hear her from here. Shh, listen.”
You and Sam went perfectly still, not even breathing, and your eyes widened when you heard a faint snore coming from down the hall.
“Holy crap.”
“I told you! Imagine being in there next to it.”
He shook his head, yawning as he raised his hands over his head. You turned back to the refrigerator, smiling when you found a pizza box on the bottom shelf. You opened the box and took out a piece, taking a bite before you fixed the box and put it back. You turned to see Sam making a face at you.
“What?”
“How can you eat it cold?”
“Are you kidding me? Cold pizza is one of God’s greatest creations.”
Sam smiled.
“I don’t really think pizza is one of God’s creations. It’s more of a man-made thing.”
“Whatever, heathen.”
Sam laughed, and you went back to your pizza, humming as you chewed. Sam licked his lips, then spoke softly.
“Dean said Cassie has to get up kind of early in the morning, so if we could all be quiet…”
You looked to him and he winced, then shrugged his shoulders.
“I’m just the messenger.”
“What does he expect me to do, start vacuuming now, before the sun even comes up? When have I ever done that? Just so you know, I’m not rearranging my life for her. He can all he wants, but I don’t owe her anything. If I want to make noise right now, then by God, I’ll do it.”
Sam slowly nodded, and you ran your hand down your face. You let out a shaky sigh, then shook your head.
“It’s bad enough that he’s dating her, but why does he have to bring her here and rub it in my face?”
Sam walked up behind you and rubbed one of his big hands up and down your back. He gently took hold of your shoulder and turned you around, and you buried your face in his chest as his arms came around you.
“I’m really sorry, Y/N.”
You let out a shaky breath.
“Me too, Sammy.”
You yawned as you walked down the hallway, stopping in the kitchen door and pulling your short robe tighter around you. Dean turned back from the stove and smiled.
“Hey, sleepyhead.”
“You try working until four A.M. and let’s see what a morning person you are.”
Dean laughed as you walked past him to the refrigerator, pulling out the quart of chocolate milk you just couldn’t live without. You poured yourself a glass, taking a sip before you realized how quiet Dean was. You set the glass on the counter, then crossed your arms over your chest.
“Okay, what’s up?”
Green eyes were wide when he looked back at you.
“Nothing.”
You lifted an eyebrow, and Dean let out a sigh.
“Okay, something. I need to talk to you, man to man.”
You rolled your eyes, unable to keep the smile off your face. Dean motioned to the table and you took a seat, eyes widening when he set a plate in front of you.
“Wow. This is impressive. I’m not sure whether to be worried or thankful for whatever this talk is.”
Dean smiled, taking the seat across from you. He licked his lips, then took a deep breath.
“Cassie and I have been thinking about moving in together.”
The smile slid from your face as you stared at him, and Dean swallowed before continuing.
“We’re pretty serious, you know, and I just … think this is the next logical step.”
You slowly nodded, then blinked a few times.
“Wow.”
Dean nodded, and you looked down at your plate, appetite vanished, as you spoke.
“So would you …?”
“Well, that’s what we’re trying to decide. Her place is nice, but it’s expensive. Even if I chip in on rent, it’s still expensive. Here, though…”
You let out a laugh.
“We’re kind of full here, Dean. Me, you, Sam and Jess. And I’m not sharing my bathroom with anyone, you know that.”
Dean rubbed a hand over his face, and you suddenly got a sinking feeling. He stared at his hands, speaking softly.
“I’m not suggesting anything at all, but … I mean, she said that maybe … maybe you wouldn’t feel comfortable living with–”
“Stop.”
He lifted his head, and you stared at him.
“Are you trying to tell me that I need to move out so your girlfriend can move in and feel comfortable here?”
“Don’t say it like that.”
“How the fuck else am I supposed to say it? She wants you to make it sound like you’re doing me a favor while you’re basically evicting me, when I’m the one who found us this damn apartment way before Cassie was in the picture.”
You all but spit her name out, and you stood up, pushing your hands through your hair as you paced a lap around the kitchen. You stopped and looked him right in the face.
“This is low, Dean. Even for you.”
“Come on, pretty girl. Don’t say that.”
“What am I supposed to say? ‘Oh, Dean, that’s a wonderful idea! I’d love to be homeless so your girlfriend can leave her expensive apartment and use mine as a spare closet.”
“Now that’s unfair.”
You let out an unbelieving laugh.
“Are you shitting me?! Tell me this is one of those hidden camera things, because if it’s not, I don’t …”
You turned away from him, staring at the picture on the wall, the one of you and Sam and Dean on the day you all moved in, before Sam met Jess. You were all sweaty, exhausted, and each had paint splattered all over. Sam was laughing so hard his eyes were closed, and Dean was leaning forward, mouth open as he laughed, and you …
You were staring at Dean, the love you felt all but written all over your face.
You shook your head, biting your cheek, but eventually being unable to keep the tears from your eyes. Dean let out a breath behind you and you heard his chair scoot back from the table.
“I … I went about this the wrong way. We can–we can talk about it another time.”
You sniffled and he went still.
“Y/N?”
You turned to him, watching his face fall as he saw the tears slipping down your cheeks.
“Oh god, Y/N, no.”
“I hope she makes you happy.”
“Don’t cry. Y/N, wait.”
You left the kitchen and walked back to your room, slamming the door and locking it before burying your face in your pillow, screaming into it before the tears came too hard, choking off your voice.
You heard the gentle knock at your door as you were sitting on your bed, watching the sun come up. The door pushed open and Jess stood there, leaning her curly blonde head against the doorframe.
“Hey, you.”
You smiled, turning to look out the window again. Jess sniffled, the cold still raging through her body, and walked into the room. She stopped, eyes going wide as she blinked while she looked around the room.
“Where’s all your stuff?”
“In my car.”
“Why?”
Tears filled your eyes again, and you sniffled, speaking through them.
“Dean wants Cassie to move in, and Cassie wants me to move out.”
“Are you shitting me?”
You couldn’t help the laugh that slipped through your lips. You shook your head and Jess walked over, taking your hand.
“You are not moving out. Cassie does not live here, and if it means losing you, she never will.”
You smiled, squeezing Jess’ hand.
“Dean said that Cassie told him I might not feel comfortable living here with you and Sam and her and Dean. Fifth wheel, I guess.”
“Have Sam and I ever made you feel like a third wheel?”
You looked into worried brown eyes, and you smiled.
“Not usually.”
Jess narrowed her eyes and you let out a laugh. You shook your head, tears coming to your eyes again.
“I love him, Jess.”
“I know you do.”
She spoke softly, and you nodded.
“This hurts.”
You let out a laugh, then shook your head.
“For her to suggest it, that doesn’t surprise me. But for him to agree to it? Jess, that’s … it hurts.”
You looked down at your hands, noticing how slender and pale Jess’ hand was. She was a perfect match for Sam, and you and Dean had a bet going on how long it would be before one of them proposed. Of course, the guy usually did the proposing, but you had a feeling that Jess wouldn’t wait on Sam much longer before she went ahead and did it herself.
“You know …”
Jess’ words brought you back to reality, and you sniffled before you looked over to her. She reached over and brushed a stray piece of hair off your forehead.
“Maybe you should tell him.”
“Jess.”
“You’ve been in love with him for, what? Like twenty years? Don’t you think it’s time?”
“Don’t you think it’s obvious? I mean, pretty much everyone knows that I’m in love with Dean except for Dean. And besides that, he’s so disgustingly happy with Cassie. Who am I to try to get in the middle of that?”
Jess shook her head.
“It’s not worth you moving out. You were here before I was. So technically, if anyone else is moving in, I should be the one to move out.”
“That’s not how it works, Jessie, and you know that. Besides, Sam would go all caveman and lock you in the bedroom if you even said the words ‘move out.’”
Jess nodded in agreement, and you let out a laugh. After a quiet moment, you spoke softly.
“Maybe this is for the best. I’m never going to be able to move on like this. Living with him, being around him every second of every day and not being with him is … brutal. Maybe I can finally start to live, you know?”
Jess ran a hand through your ponytail as you sniffled.
“I don’t want you to go.”
“I probably won’t be far.”
“Are you going to Ellen?”
You shrugged your shoulders.
“I already work for her. I don’t want to ask if she can give me a place to stay and a job.”
“She would kick your ass if she knew you needed a place to stay and you didn’t go to her first.”
You nodded, tears slipping down your cheeks. You turned to Jess and gave her a smile, then stood up.
“I’m going to go before everybody wakes up.”
“Y/N …”
You turned to her, still sitting on the bed, and she let out a breath, then stood up and wrapped you in her arms. You closed your eyes and hugged her back, and she whispered in your ear.
“Be careful, and call me if you need anything. And don’t be afraid to come back home, okay?”
You nodded, and she squeezed you before you stepped away from her, walking down the hall and out the front door without looking back.
Sam walked into the apartment after his run and groaned. He stretched his arms out before turning side to side, gasping slightly when his spine popped. He slipped his shoes off at the door and walked silently down the hall, intent on taking a shower. He stopped though, when he saw his girlfriend curled up on one end of the couch, staring out the window.
“Jessie?”
She looked over to him and his heart sank when he saw the tears on her cheeks. He shook his head and stepped forward, sitting on the coffee table in front of her, reaching out and taking her hands.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
She sniffled, then let out a shaky breath.
“Have you talked to your brother?”
“Not since yesterday. He was in a funky mood when I woke up, and then he took off.”
Jess nodded, sniffling again.
“Apparently, Cassie wants to move in, and she suggested to Dean that it might be better if Y/N moves out.”
“Are you shitting me?”
Jess shook her head.
“She left this morning.”
“She what?!”
Sam stood up, all but jogging down the hall, hearing Jess’ soft, hurried steps as she followed him. Sam pushed open your bedroom door, mouth falling open when he saw the bare walls, the empty bed without sheets on it. Your television and computer were gone, the shelves bare without the books and DVDs that usually filled them.
He turned to look at Jess, saw the tears well up in her eyes again as she looked into the now-empty room. He set his teeth together, turning on his heel and walking across the hall, banging his fist against Dean’s bedroom door.
“Dean, get the fuck up now!”
Jess watched him wide brown eyes as he banged on the door again.
“If you don’t open it right now, I’ll fucking break it down!”
The door swung open to reveal a pissed-off Dean, in a pair of plaid pajama pants and nothing else.
“What the hell is your problem, Sam?”
“Apparently your girlfriend when she forces my friends to leave.”
There was a rustle in the room, and a few seconds later, Cassie stood behind Dean, in one of his flannel shirts.
“Excuse me?”
“Who gave you the right to think you could come in here and make someone who lives here not welcome?”
“Sam, what the hell are you–”
“And you. What possessed you to give her the idea to move out?”
“Who?”
Jess rolled her eyes at Cassie.
“Y/N.”
Dean let out a sigh, then pushed his hand through his hair.
“Look, I tried to talk to her yesterday, and things … we’re going to talk later.”
Jess snorted.
“Good luck with that. She’s gone.”
Dean looked at Jess, then met Sam’s eyes.
“What is she talking about?”
“She’s talking about that, Dean.”
Sam turned to the side, pointing towards the bedroom across the hall. Dean narrowed his eyes and walked across the hall, pushing open the door Jess had shut. A few seconds later, he was back in front of Sam, green eyes wide.
“Where is she? Where’s all her stuff?”
“Guess she took your advice that your lovely girlfriend gave and took off.”
“Dean, I …”
Cassie rubbed a hand over her mouth and Dean looked back to Sam.
“Where is she?”
“I don’t know, Dean.”
“She left while everyone was still asleep.”
The boys turned to Jess, who shrugged her shoulders.
“She said it would be easier that way.”
Jess turned and walked down the hall, into her and Sam’s bedroom. Dean ran a hand over his face and looked up as Cassie walked up, now fully dressed.
“I think it would probably be best if I go.”
Dean nodded, and she walked down the hall. A few seconds later, the door opened and shut, and Sam turned to Dean, getting right in his personal space.
“I don’t care what it takes, or what you have to do. Fix this.”
Sam turned on his heel and walked down the hall, slamming his bedroom door. Dean ran a hand down his face and walked back across the hall, pushing open the door, not ready for the pain that assaulted his chest when he stared into the empty room.
“Okay, just keep an open mind, all right?”
Good natured grumbled sounded from the Winchester boys, and you rolled your eyes as you unlocked the door. They followed in behind you, quiet as they surveyed the apartment.
“There are three bedrooms, each one with its own bathroom. Community living room and kitchen, laundry room past the kitchen. Rent split three ways is kind of a steal, and we could chip in on groceries, or buy our own or whatever. I’m thinking I’m going to be doing most of the cooking, since Sam burns cereal somehow.”
“That was one time, and I was half-asleep when I mixed the cereal with the oatmeal!”
You smiled as he blew out a breath, then looked over to Dean. He was looking around one of the bedrooms, lips pursed as his eyes danced across the room. He turned back to see you standing in the room across the hall from him, and you both glanced down to see Sam in the room at the end. You smiled.
“Huh. Guess we’ve kind of staked our claims.”
Dean nodded his head, looking over at his brother, then back to you.
“Okay, I got to admit. This place is awesome.”
“I know! Isn’t it great?”
“You did good, pretty girl.”
You smiled, and Dean walked across the hall, taking you in his arms and kissing the top of your head, both of you laughing when Sam ran up and made it a group hug.
Dean held a hand over his mouth, shaking his head as he sat down on your bed. He heard footsteps in the hall and he looked over, hope in his heart for just a moment before Jess’ blonde head looked into the room. Dean shook his head.
“She’s gone.”
Jess nodded.
“I know. Isn’t it great? Isn’t it everything you and Cassie wanted?”
She rolled her eyes at him, then walked away. Dean turned to lay back on your bed, staring up at the ceiling. He let one hand come down, reaching under your mattress. He made a face when he felt something, grabbing hold of it and pulling it out, holding it in his line of sight.
It was the cherry stem you’d tied in a knot for him.
There was a knot in his stomach suddenly, a crushing weight on his chest, and he leaped off your bed, running into his room and grabbing his phone, scrolling through it until he found your name. The phone rang four times, before he groaned as your voicemail message sounded. He hung up without leaving a message and called you back, counting the rings until your voicemail picked up. When he called and the phone immediately went to voicemail, it took everything in him not to throw his phone against the wall. Instead, he let the voicemail greeting play, then waited for the beep.
“Hey, it’s me. Listen, I … I fucked up. You have to come home, okay? Just … Call me when you get this and I’ll come get you, wherever you are. Please don’t … I can’t lose you, okay? Come home.”
He ended the call, setting the phone on his dresser, stepping back and sitting on the edge of his bed, waiting for a ring he didn’t think would ever come.