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He should’ve known, even before Sehun busted through his office door, who was coming.
The raven head’s steps are lighter than anyone else’s in the building, carefree in a way no agent’s could be, happy in a way no normal person’s should be—not when the clock is fucking six in the morning. Or maybe the cheerful humming should’ve tipped him off or the flowery scent mixed with just brewed coffee—because Sehun always likes his drinks fresh and disgustingly sweet—that reached Jongin’s nose even before his door was kicked open.
If Sehun would have started the following conversation with a good morning (and maybe a kiss), Jongin wouldn’t have minded as much as he does—but no, the raven head starts it like this:
“Bhahaha, you look like you just stepped out of your own grave!”
Giving the cheerful male a dry glare, Jongin just continues to arrange his messy desk. Maybe if he ignores the other, he’ll go away.
But of course not, it’s Oh Sehun he’s talking about—instead of being discouraged by Jongin’s lack of response, the coroner just swoops closer to lean on the agent’s desk with a mischievous grin plastered on his face. And how the hell does he look so pretty this early?
“Aren’t you a sunshine today”, the raven-haired coroner starts, placing a brown bag on the table. “Just when I decided to actually be nice, too.”
Sehun sighs before fully sitting on Jongin’s table and crossing his legs. “And to think I made the effort to drop by here before going to my own work just to bring you breakfast. What kind of a boyfriend are you, ignoring my great effort?”
Just then, Jongin’s rival (sort of, at least), another Special Agent, Park Chanyeol walks past. To the russet’s great annoyance, Sehun and Chanyeol get along perfectly fine, which is once again proved by how the tall agent takes Sehun’s side (not like he’d ever take Jongin’s anyway).
“Sounds horrible”, Chanyeol says with a fake gasp, seeing the situation going on between Jongin and Sehun. The other agent is already up, heading to close the door with a scowl on his face. Chanyeol continues on despite that, a smirk forming on his lips.
“Jongin, how can you be so mean to your own boyfriend? If I’d have someone to bring me coffee and bread to work, I’d never—”
“Alright, fuck off, will you?” Jongin cuts in swiftly, slamming the door shut on Chanyeol’s face. Behind him Sehun snickers.
These two shitheads, the russet agent thinks, turning around to frown at his lovable boyfriend. I swear their only purpose is to make my life harder.
Sehun’s pretty brown eyes glimmer in the light of the rising sun, his head tilting ever so slightly as Jongin heads closer to finally greet him. The smile on the coroner’s face turns from mischievous to gentle in less than a second, his arms opening so Jongin can step in to lean against his familiar warmth.
“Now, don’t fall asleep, I don’t want your boss to start complaining again”, Sehun laughs lightly against Jongin’s shoulder while the other man just grumbles, burying his head against the fluffy raven hair.
It’s been five months since the double-homicide of Los Angeles, five months since FBI Special Agent Kim Jongin met a shithead named Oh Sehun, and five months since they became partners—in more ways than one.
Five months of listening to this jackass being cheerful at ungodly hours and somehow, Jongin is still alive and breathing. Maybe it’s because while he has to listen to Sehun gush about some dead body they found in New York or maybe even from somewhere in Antarctica, he gets to listen to that voice, see his smile and the happy glimmer in his eyes.
Maybe it’s because the person is simply Oh Sehun, that makes everything worth it.
“Oh god”, Jongin mutters, feeling a chuckle vibrate through Sehun’s slim body.
“What? Did you get a boner or something?”
For that, the russet agent smacks Sehun and retreats. “No, I just realized that I’m being pretty damn sappy and that is disgusting.”
That familiar mischievous smile returns to his lover’s—boyfriend’s, who even knows—face as quick as it had gone away. “Sappy? What were you thinking?”
“Nothing important”, the agent waves it off. He can see that Sehun is not keen on letting it go but a good kiss on the lips is probably the best distraction ever. (When he said this to Sehun once, the other argued back, saying that shooting someone in the leg is the best distraction ever. At that point Jongin had been very glad he never gave Sehun a gun.)
The raven head tastes mildly like coffee, more like caramel, and simply addicting which is why once Jongin starts kissing him, it’s nearly impossible for him to stop. And Sehun isn’t complaining, not until his phone goes off, warning him that he’ll be late from his own work soon.
They separate in slight panic, the coroner hopping off Jongin’s desk while the agent concentrates on fixing his suit.
“Don’t sleep in your office, okay? I’m not bringing you breakfast again if you do that”, Sehun says as he picks up his stuff and prepares to head away.
“That’s what you said yesterday and here you are, anyway”, Jongin points out, finally turning to investigate the bag Sehun left on his table. A big cup of black coffee (he notes the sugar cubes placed next to it) and two bagels. “Sometimes you are a lifesaver, I swear.”
He shouldn’t have said that aloud, maybe, because as soon as he hears it, Sehun’s smug smirk only grows.
“You’re admitting that just now? Man, I’ve been saving lives for years and you only now notice it. Am I invisible to you, Kim Jongin?”
“Tsk, like you could ever be invisible to someone.” Not when you always glow like the fucking sun, he adds in his mind. “And weren’t you in a hurry to work?”
The raven-haired coroner just laughs lightly before leaning to press a quick kiss on Jongin’s cheek—something Sehun always does when they part ways—before heading towards the closed door. “If you’re planning on leaving early tonight, come by my apartment. I can make you real food, you know? And offer an actual bed to sleep in.”
The offer is more than tempting but Jongin is not entirely sure if he can make it. And he feels a little shitty for that because Sehun’s right—he’s being an amazing lover, quirky in his own way but still caring, and all Jongin does is complain and call off dates.
“Ah”, the other makes a noise of understanding which only stings more because fuck, Jongin just really wants to hug Sehun and never let go, but everything else keeps coming on the fucking way. “Well, even if you’re busy, my apartment is closer to your work than yours. And the door is always open for you and it’s not like the offer of a bed is going anywhere.”
“Yeah, I’ll come by”, he agrees slowly, nodding a couple of times. The raven-haired coroner smiles brightly at him before waving his byes and disappearing out of the door. Almost right away Chanyeol’s head peeks in.
“Trouble in the paradise?” the tall agent snickers, and it takes all of Jongin’s will power to not throw his coffee at him. After all, he wouldn’t want to waste Sehun’s great efforts at bringing it over.
Work has always been a massive pain in the ass. He gets calls at random times—even in the middle of the fucking night—and almost always, Jongin has to accept them. While the payment is good, for someone who lives alone and doesn’t waste a lot of money to begin with, he sometimes wonders if it’s still worth risking a lot of important things to him.
If it’s worth giving up a goodnight sleep, a lot of free hours—if it’s worth putting his life on the line, putting others’ lives on the line. And most of all, if it’s worth giving up time that he could spend with Sehun.
There are a lot of pros, Sehun says whenever Jongin complains about this. “You get to do things others can’t. You save lives, you try to make a difference in this society, protect its people. I think that’s something quite admirable. And you’re doing a very good job at it, as well. With my help, of course.”
“Of course”, Jongin always snorts to that. He means it though, because the raven head has become an important factor when it comes to solving cases. Sometimes the russet agent can’t help but wonder how he got work done before meeting Sehun.
It’s not like Sehun has it easy, either. He’s always traveling around the world, sometimes disappearing for a good week or two. The coroner is a rising star in his own industry and has a lot of expectations on his shoulders—in a way, Jongin thinks that Sehun has it worse than him. Maybe he’s not always out in the field getting shot at but the amount of work he does… it’s more than impressive.
Yet, the other doesn’t complain much.
“I’ve never minded working with the dead, although my family sometimes thinks I’m batshit crazy for having this kind of job. But I don’t care—I’d rather do this than anything they want me to.”
The russet agent doesn’t know a lot about Sehun’s family, but he did understand that the coroner wasn’t talking about his foster-family when he said those words. He meant his actual family, his blood-relatives.
Jongin has come to understand that while Sehun has lived in America under the care of his foster-family since he was seven, his actual family is, by no means, dead. From the way the coroner speaks of them, it’s obvious that they’re not close though, and the pain in his eyes always tells Jongin to shut up and to not push it further. So the agent doesn’t, no matter how he wants to know more.
Even if Sehun promised to tell him more, Jongin can’t actually force him to talk. Partly, the coroner has kept his word—he told a lot about his life in Los Angeles, about his foster brother Mark Johnson and foster parents Dennis and Sarah. The people he calls his brother, father and mother, rather than the people who’re related to him by blood.
And his childhood sounded pretty okay to Jongin—a normal, healthy childhood. Everything about it seemed fine except the faith of his foster mother, Sarah… but that’s just another painful topic Sehun doesn’t like to talk about and Jongin isn’t willing to push it.
Yet, tonight when he stands in the living room of Sehun’s apartment, he can’t help but pay a little more attention to the pictures the coroner has in his bookshelves. None of them present his family back in South Korea—they’re all photos taken of the Johnson-family and some places he has traveled to, also including his usual traveling partner, an older coroner from the same institute.
It’s Kim Minseok, Jongin picks the other man from a photo where he and Sehun are standing at the root of, what the agent at least supposes is, an Aztec temple. Minseok is the only one of Sehun’s friends he has met (the guy is the exact opposite of Sehun and somehow they’re still best friends, what the fuck?)—and the only one the raven head ever even speaks of.
The photograph next to it is older. It’s obviously Christmas in that one, the Johnson-family having gathered around the Christmas tree. Sehun and his brother Mark are sitting on the floor, covered in gift wrappings and their parents are standing behind them, both happily smiling. It’s hard to believe that three days later the woman in the picture was cruelly killed.
“What are you looking at?” Sehun’s soft tone comes from behind him and Jongin straightens himself, glancing back.
The raven-haired coroner is standing in the doorway to the kitchen, a curious look on his face. The air smells like chocolate and flowers, Sehun’s scent mixing with the hot cocoa he’s making. Jongin can’t help but smile at the other, feeling something warm spread in his chest—it seems almost domestic, the way they’re behaving tonight and there’s something incredibly exiting at the thought of having this every night.
If only.
“Just photos. You were a cute kid”, the agent answers, lazily stomping to his lover who grins at him.
“Oh, so I’m not cure anymore?”
“You are”, Jongin mumbles, pressing his nose against Sehun’s. “But more than that, I think you’re beautiful.”
The other makes a choking noise at that, light laughter erupting from his chest a moment later. “You really are sappy, oh my god!” Sehun laughs as he turns around to check on their drinks. “Maybe I shouldn’t let you drink hot chocolate anymore—you’re being weirdly sweet today. Did you accidentally put the sugar cubes in your coffee?”
The Special Agent rolls his eyes. “Oh shut up, idiot.”
“But seriously”, Sehun speaks again after a moment of comfortable silence. “What were you looking at? You’ve never paid that much attention on the photographs before—were you looking for something?” The other’s brown eyes glance at him almost unnoticeably, glimmering with interest but also in a sort of warning way. Jongin understands it as a warning that Sehun will be able to tell if he lies.
“No really, I was just looking at the photos. But I did pay more attention to the ones with your mother in it.” Jongin definitely doesn’t miss the way Sehun almost pours hot chocolate all over the goddamn sink.
“I was just wondering… did someone ever really look into her death? When you told me about it, you said it like it wasn’t an accident. And I know you don’t think that way for no reason.”
When Sehun a few weeks ago told Jongin about his foster mother, Sarah Johnson, the FBI Special Agent got the feeling that they had been really close. He had wished to meet the woman, but then Sehun continued by telling that she died when he was twelve. At the wrong place, at the wrong time, that’s what Sehun had said. A burglar with a loose trigger finger.
But the way the raven head had said it, so bitter and even angry, told Jongin right away that there’s more to it. And now, judging by the other’s reaction, it wasn’t just a burglar with a loose trigger finger.
“Jongin… do you really want to talk about this right now?” Sehun sighs after a tense moment of silence, setting Jongin’s mug of hot cocoa on the table and keeps his own by the sink. Still, neither of them reach for their drinks.
“I don’t want to push you”, the agent is quick to say, earning a surprised look from his lover.
“I really don’t want to do that because I know you don’t like speaking about this… but if you really do think that it wasn’t just a random act of violence, an accident, don’t you think that something should be done? Don’t you think that the truth should come out?”
“Sometimes it’s better for the truth to not come out”, the raven-haired coroner says to that tiredly.
“So, you do know something”, Jongin deadpans.
Sehun gives him a look that is both sad and apologetic. “Please don’t turn this into some another case you need to solve, Jongin, you’re not working right now. Don’t go digging into this either. You’ll hurt Mark and my father—you’ll hurt me. Is it really necessary to open old wounds?”
The agent grimaces—Sehun has a good point. And Jongin hates to bring any kind of strain on the coroner.
“I just…” Another stern look from the other and Jongin goes silent, nodding a couple of times. “Okay. Fine. We don’t need to talk about this—” Sehun opens his mouth, probably hearing the slight hurt in the russet’s tone, but Jongin beats him to it. “—but if you ever want to talk, I hope you know that I’m here to listen.”
It does sting a little to know that the raven-haired coroner most likely doesn’t trust Jongin enough to come out clean—to completely tell him what the hell has happened in his past—but the agent shouldn’t blame Sehun for it. They all have their own nasty little secrets meant to be kept away from the light.
The tension following their short conversation doesn’t die down for the rest of the night. They go to sleep with backs turned towards each other and both obviously more than a little upset. Thanks to all the stress from work Jongin’s sure that neither of them have the energy to handle too many complicated emotions right now and this night will most likely just disappear amongst many others.
He somewhat hopes for them to not remember anything about their talk in the morning, just to dodge the awkwardness and to make the sadness and fear in Sehun’s eyes disappear. But at the same time Jongin knows he should not let it be forgotten—not as long as there’s a chance that Sehun is in danger.
If Jongin is correct and the death of Sehun’s mother wasn’t an accident, what was the killer there for, then? Because Sehun was the only one with Sarah Johnson when it happened—does that mean the killer was after him? Is there still someone after him?
Just the thought of losing the raven-haired coroner makes Jongin shiver and wince as if he’d been punched in the gut. Somehow, it hurts like that, too.
They’ve only known for five months, maybe, but the man lying beside him is his partner and lover—someone Jongin needs to keep safe no matter what. And he feels a lot like that if anything does happen to Sehun, he won’t be able to pull himself together anymore.
No, that’s what Jongin needs Sehun for—to keep him sane and his legs on the ground.
A warm hand comes to rest on Jongin’s bare shoulder suddenly, Sehun’s slimmer body pressing against his back. The russet agent can feel the other’s breath against his nape, his flowery scent invading his senses again. He loves this, this familiar warmth and it hurts just a little to confess it so silently. Jongin wishes he could say it aloud—wishes he’d have the courage to.
He waits for Sehun to speak, to say at least something, but the coroner doesn’t. Instead, he just lets his hand slip down to rest against Jongin’s own.
For some reason, that simple gesture seems to mean a lot more than words ever could.
And they fall asleep like that, Sehun curled against Jongin’s back and their fingers tightly intertwined.
“I haven’t seen your pretty boyfriend in a while. Did you scare him away?”
Jongin decides to promptly ignore Chanyeol’s comment and concentrate on not “accidentally” pouring steaming hot coffee all over the taller man’s shining shoes.
But unfortunately, much like his said pretty boyfriend, Chanyeol seems to get off on annoying Jongin. The taller man just reaches over to wave a hand in front of the russet’s face, his big eyes wide with curiosity—and for some reason, those two brown orbs seem to lack the usual mischievous and smug glimmer, replaced with an eerie concern.
“Bullshit”, Jongin mutters out loud. Chanyeol concerned for him? Nah, not in a million years. Maybe he’s concerned because of Sehun—the russet knows the other likes to ogle at his lover’s ass whenever he gets the chance to.
“Bullshit what?”
“Nothing. Can’t you just leave me alone? I’m trying to get back to work”, Jongin sighs, finally turning to glare at the other.
Chanyeol just smiles at him, though his smile is weak and not like him at all. “I’m just curious, Jongin. Sehun hasn’t come to visit the office for a whole week—and that is very unlike of him, we all know that. He comes by every day. So, what did you do?”
“What makes you think I did something?”
“Well, we can start with Sehun being the nicest person in the whole fucking world and you being you. Do I need to continue?” Chanyeol asks.
Damn, Jongin thinks. He has a point.
He sighs again, his shoulders slumping slightly in defeat and that’s when the taller agent knows he has won. So, Chanyeol leans on the wall next to them, crossing his arms over his chest and waits with a raised brow. It’s time to talk.
“It’s not like we had a big fight or something”, the shorter Special Agent starts. “But I might’ve pushed his limits and he might be pissed at me…? I’m not even sure, to be honest. But I do know that he’s extremely busy right now, like me, so considering that, him not coming to visit is normal.”
“You don’t sound so sure”, Chanyeol points out.
“Because I’m not”, Jongin deadpans, rubbing his eyes tiredly.
“But you guys did fight about something, didn’t you? So what was it about?”
“His family.”
Chanyeol is aware that it’s a sore subject for Sehun, since he once made the mistake of asking about it from the raven head. So, Jongin’s short answer is more than enough for him to understand how shitty the situation actually is.
The fact that Jongin hasn’t seen Sehun in a week is more proof of that there is something weird going on in the coroner’s life—something he isn’t willing to tell Jongin about. But seeing how bad it turned out to be when Jongin dared to just slightly poke around, he doesn’t want to know how bad it will be if he pushes things even further.
“Okay, I won’t dig any deeper because this is between you two and I don’t want to get on Sehun’s bad side”, Chanyeol says, straightening himself and preparing to leave. Seems like the two of them really can’t hold a conversation for over two minutes (without trying to kill each other, that is).
“But you might also be thinking too much into this. Maybe he is simply too busy to come visit you—we don’t know how hectic it is at the institute, they probably have it worse than us.”
“Yeah, I know.” Jongin at least wishes that it’s just something like that. But from how short Sehun’s messages to him have also been (and the fact that he hasn’t called him) indicate other.
“Maybe you should go and see him, you know? He always comes here but do you ever go to him?”
That’s another good point Chanyeol is making. Jongin has only once visited Sehun at his workplace and that was at the very beginning of their relationship.
“You’re right, I should go and see him. But there’s still so much work to do…”
Chanyeol snorts. “You’re acting like paperwork is all we ever do. Dude, we’re not office workers. The boss isn’t expecting to have all the paperwork in time and despite, you’ve been doing so well lately—probably thanks to Sehun—so he won’t even blink an eye if you decide to leave earlier or even take a couple of more days off. Just turn off your phone, goddamn. We have plenty of other agents to send to the field.”
Again, a good point. How did Jongin not realize that himself?
“You’re way too stressed and dense”, the taller agent standing next to him chuckles. “Go see Sehun, take him out for dinner and be a good boyfriend, will you? Fix this shit so he’ll start coming back to the office. I haven’t seen him in a while.”
That ruins the good image Jongin had already started to get from Chanyeol. “Of course, you’re only concerned about never seeing him again. Sorry, I mean you’re only concerned that you won’t get to ogle at him ever again.”
The taller man smirks. “Glad we understand each other so well, agent Kim. See you around.” And with that, Chanyeol heads away, leaving Jongin to sip his black coffee alone.
He leaves the office around eight pm, but instead of heading to home, he heads straight to Sehun’s work. The raven head works in a well-known institute close to Jongin’s workplace so the way there isn’t long—he doesn’t need to take any bus or subway to get there and while walking, he eyes the restaurants passing by.
Chanyeol is right, he should take Sehun out for dinner. If he really has been busy with work, there’s no way the coroner has eaten anything healthy, much like Jongin himself hasn’t. Sehun likes almost any food, so any restaurant will do—but because Jongin has money, maybe he should pick a fancier restaurant. Then again, do they want to go to some five-star restaurant looking exhausted and wearing their work clothes?
He arrives to the institute soon. It’s a big and old building with green vines growing on its red walls. There are only a couple of small windows sprinkled here and there, which Jongin complained about when he last was there. Sehun mentioned that there are a lot of old artifacts there and sunlight could do harm to them, so they kept the windows at minimum when the house was built (like hundred years ago? Did they really have that many artifacts there back then?).
The hallways are eerily quiet, only a few people dressed in white and blue cloaks walk around and Jongin feels like a total eyesore there. He obviously doesn’t belong amongst all these nerds and a couple of them even send him questioning (or disapproving) looks. None come up to him though, most likely because he’s mumbling under his breath like a crazy person.
“This place is a goddamn maze. Where was Sehun’s office again?” Jongin looks around, desperately searching for familiar signs but sees none—until the familiar face of Kim Minseok pops up.
The shorter Kim just bursts out of what seems to be his office, holding a tray full of questionable things in his hands. They nearly run into each other but Jongin has to thank his quick reflexes or he’d have some brain goo on his suit now.
“Oh, it’s you”, is Minseok’s way of greeting him, his dull brown eyes lazily raking over Jongin’s body before returning to his face. “Searching for Sehun, perhaps?”
Thank god this one cuts right to the chase. “Yeah”, Jongin nods. “Could you maybe tell me where he is…?”
Minseok shrugs his shoulders and the tray makes a dangerous tilt towards Jongin’s legs—oh dear lord, is that an eyeball? “In his office, probably.”
“And where may that be?”
“At the end of the corridor, turn left to another corridor and the first door on the right side is his. If he’s not there, check the main hall.” Apparently having interacted with him enough, Minseok starts to head to the direction Jongin came from.
Without even saying bye, Jongin stomps to the direction given to him, hoping to find Sehun soon. He feels strangely like someone would be watching him but when he turns around, there’s no one there. Even Minseok has disappeared.
“This place is fucking weird…” the Special Agent mutters, feeling a little creeped out. The fact that he knows there are dead bodies most likely everywhere around him doesn’t help at all.
About five minutes later he stands in front of a closed door, the name tag next to it reading Oh Sehun. Jongin can’t help but breathe out in relief, thankful that he has finally found the right place—now he just hopes that the man he’s searching for is inside.
He knocks a couple of times and a familiar voice answers; “Come in, it’s open.”
There’s a small smile on his lips when Jongin opens the door, glimmering brown orbs greeting him immediately. There’s a shocked look on Sehun’s face when their gazes meet but it turns quickly to a genuinely happy and relieved look.
“Hi”, Jongin greets softly, leaning on the doorframe.
Sehun smiles. “Hi.”
“So… am I interrupting something important or is it possible for me to steal you away from here for the night?” the russet agent then asks, glancing at the computer screen behind Sehun. He’s seen the raven’s office only once before and the last time it was a lot cleaner—now there are papers and files everywhere, as well as other laboratory stuff Jongin can’t name. It’s obvious that the coroner is buried in work.
The raven head blinks his eyes a couple of times before glancing at his computer as well. “Not really no… I’m just finishing this project I’ve been working on with Minseok—” Sehun’s phone lets out a high-pitched ding and the coroner reaches over, frowning as he reads the new message. “He just messaged me saying that he can finish it. Weird.”
Jongin sends a thank you to the shorter man in his mind—perfect timing, a little too perfect. Maybe Minseok just decided to be merciful tonight because from what the agent knows, Minseok’s actual personality is something like never-give-a-fuck. About anything.
“Well…” Sehun turns his gaze back to him. “Seems like I do have the rest of the night free. Do you?”
“Naturally—otherwise I wouldn’t have made it here.” Jongin reaches over to Sehun’s coat that is hanging by the door. “You’ve probably not eaten in a while so care to join me for dinner?”
The smile that spreads on his lover’s lips is something entirely different. “Of course, since you so kindly asked. But I decide what we eat.”
“Sure.”
“I want something greasy. Can we go grab some pizza and head to my place? I have some beer in the fridge”, Sehun sighs as Jongin helps him to put his coat on. “I feel like I just rose from the dead, honestly, and I don’t think anyone wants to see my ugly mug right now.”
Jongin snorts before leaning in to press a gentle kiss on the other’s temple. “The fuck are you mumbling about? You still look like you just came from a fucking fashion show, so shut up. You must be really tired if you’re ready to say shit like that.”
“Ah, too many curse words right there”, Sehun chuckles, momentarily leaning his forehead on Jongin’s shoulder. “But is pizza okay?”
“More than okay.” The russet agent is actually quite relieved about Sehun’s suggestion—all he wants to do is go home as well and laze around for the rest of the night.
“Let’s go.”
When they’re leaving the pizza restaurant, it starts snowing.
Sehun stops on his tracks, glimmering eyes looking up into the dark sky, snowflakes dancing all around him. Jongin stops a few steps ahead of him, curiously watching the other who seems to be amazed by the coldness flooding down on them.
“It still amazes me, to be honest”, Sehun says quietly, his eyes flickering down to look at Jongin. “It didn’t snow where I grew up. Not in South Korea or Los Angeles. The first time I saw snow was when I was eighteen and moved to live in New York.”
“I was probably five when I first saw snow”, Jongin nods along, feeling the cold flakes melt on his cheeks. “My mom tells me that I freaked out. We came to America around then and the first thing I noticed was the snow. Actually, tomorrow it’s been exactly twenty-one years since I moved here… funny how the time goes so fast.”
Sehun chuckles, a soft grin on his face. “You’re awfully melancholic, Jongin”, the raven head says, walking up to the agent and wrapping an arm around his. “Is it because Christmas is here soon? Are you missing your family?”
The Special Agent had told Sehun a long time ago that his parents had moved back to South Korea as soon as they could. The reason they came to America in the first place was because his father lost his job and only found a new one across the ocean. They didn’t even question it, just moved as soon as they could.
Now, all grown-up and with a well-paying job, Jongin was able to help them to move back and he sends them money every month. It’s the least he can do, considering how hard his parents always worked and how much they’ve done for him.
“Of course I miss them”, he says, holding Sehun’s hand tightly while trying to balance the pizza box in his other. “But I can’t go visit them this year. I only have two days off for Christmas.”
“Me too”, his lover sighs, shaking his head. “If I had a little more, I’d consider going to Los Angeles to see Mark and dad, but I might be a little too lazy for that.”
“So, you’re home for Christmas?” Jongin asks.
Sehun sends him a knowing glance. “Yup. And you?”
The russet agent spreads his arms the best he can, smiling. “Like I said, not enough time to go meet anyone. Except, if someone happens to live close to me…”
“Does staying in, ordering Chinese and watching lame movies sound like a good way to spend Christmas?” Sehun asks, grinning. “If you add me to the mix, of course.”
Jongin snorts. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“And your handcuffs?”
“Oh Jesus Christ, that was one time! Will you ever stop bringing them up?”
The raven-haired coroner just laughs, delighted by the red of Jongin’s cheeks. “Good times, am I right?”
“You are impossible”, is all Jongin can answer to that, shaking his head. Sehun just continues to laugh, his hand holding tightly onto the agent’s. They continue their way to the coroner’s apartment like that, hand in hand and talking about nothing important and Jongin likes—no, loves this.
He wishes he could say it aloud, once again. There’s nothing stopping him, nothing but his own fears—the biggest of them all being the fear of somehow making that beautiful glimmer in Sehun’s eyes disappear—of somehow ruining this, this relationship he cares about more than anything else right now.
And he can’t let that happen—for once Jongin has something actually good to hold onto. He’s not going to destroy it.
Still, that night when they’re lying on Sehun’s bed together, legs a tangled mess and Sehun’s head resting right under Jongin’s chin, the russet agent can’t, simply can’t, stop those three words from slipping out.
“God”, he mumbles against soft black locks, closing his eyes for a moment. “I love you.”
Oh fucking Sehun, I love you, maybe a little too much. He knows that if Sehun was awake and if Jongin had actually said it like he thought, the raven head would’ve laughed and said that cursing while confessing is a very Jongin-thing to do.
But no, the raven-haired coroner is not awake, soundly sleeping in Jongin’s arms, the agent’s confession going to deaf ears.
Jongin thinks—and half hopes—so, at least.
But Sehun heard it, loud and clear.
So when Jongin falls asleep himself, his hold on Sehun loosening just the slightest, does the raven head dare to look up, an amused smile on his face.
“I fucking love you too”, the coroner chuckles, poking Jongin’s cheek with his nose which leads to the agent grumbling in his sleep—adorable, simply adorable, Sehun thinks at that. “I’m even picking up your habit of cursing in every sentence, you dipshit.”
If that isn’t enough to tell about my love for you, I don’t know what is, the raven head adds in his mind, lightly rolling his eyes before settling back down.
He knows they’re a mess, that their relationship is both healthy and pretty fucking unhealthy—but hey, as long as they still make it work, does it really matter?
Christmas comes quickly and Jongin spends both of his two days off at Sehun’s apartment. Actually, his apartment has become nothing but a short stop for him—he never sleeps there anymore and most of his clothes and other essential stuff like his toothbrush and even his spare gun (he has like four of them, but don’t tell his boss) have moved address.
Luckily, Sehun doesn’t seem to mind although he did laugh his ass off when Jongin emptied his weapons on his bed one night.
“You’re fucking paranoid, you know that, right?” the coroner had asked with tears of amusement in his eyes, still on the floor, wheezing.
“In my line of work, I think it’s allowed to be paranoid, shithead”, was what Jongin had answered. And Sehun just had laughed some more at that.
Now it’s Christmas Eve, strictly speaking eleven pm, and they’re on Sehun’s couch with empty takeout boxes lingering on the table alongside with more than two bottles of beer and other alcohol. So, maybe getting tipsy at Christmas isn’t exactly acceptable but who the fuck cares when Sehun’s in Jongin’s arms and he tastes fucking delicious with alcohol on his lips—makes him even more addictive.
Jongin lets his hand slip under Sehun’s shirt, massaging the pale skin under, and his lover lets out a cute squeak before sighing into their kiss, quickly giving in. Until something—that better be fucking important, Jongin swears—seems to come into his mind because suddenly he’s pulling away from the kiss.
“W-wait—before I let you in my pants, I have to give you something”, Sehun pants, fingers still tangled in Jongin’s hair and eyes dazed with obvious lust.
“Can’t it wait?” Jongin whines at that although he’s already moving to give more space for the raven head.
“If we go to bed now, you and I both know we’re not getting out until tomorrow noon, and no, it can’t wait”, Sehun answers matter-of-factly and damn, he has a point. Jongin has no intentions of letting his boyfriend out of the bedroom anytime soon (and he’s very anxious to get there, so they need to hurry the fuck up).
He lets out a frustrated sigh—which makes Sehun smirk knowingly—and leans back to rest against the back of the couch. “What is it, then? It better not be Christmas gifts because we agreed not to buy anything—”
“And yet you still got me a necklace with a ring on it”, Sehun interrupts gleefully and Jongin flushes red.
The reason he got that was because Chanyeol kept telling him to put a ring on it before someone else decides to do that—and Jongin is a possessive little shit, so of course he took this seriously and got a ring. But it’s not that kind of a ring; it’s more like a couple ring or something—just something to show that this man is off limits.
“Shut the fuck up”, he mumbles, knowing fully well that the redness of his cheeks only deepens as Sehun laughs, not actually seeming to mind Jongin’s ridiculous reasoning at all.
“As if I’m going anywhere”, the raven head snorts before ordering Jongin to close his eyes and give him one hand.
Reluctantly Jongin does so and soon enough he feels something cold and metal-like being lowered on his open palm—and his heart jumps into his throat because he knows right away what it is and holy shit—
“Are you serious?” he asks, eyes blown wide as he stares at the key in his hand. “Y-you—you’re giving me the key to your apartment?”
Sehun shrugs his shoulders. “You practically live here already and someday you might come by when I’m not home—so obviously, you need a key because I don’t want you to sit in the staircase scaring my neighbors. I worked hard to make them all love me, and I'm not losing that trust because of you, dear. And you passed my test.”
Jongin can feel his eye twitch in annoyance—but also, why is his heart beating so fucking hard and why does he feel so fucking warm and fuzzy? Is he having a heart attack?
“What fucking test?”
“A test to find out whether you’re actually capable of cooking on your own. I would never allow you in my apartment alone if you couldn't cook. Remember when I asked you to make dinner three days ago and you managed to do it without burning down the kitchen? Whoa, I was so impressed Jongin, that totally means you’re good enough to have your own key—”
Jongin smacks Sehun on the arm, successfully cutting him off that way, and then dives in to furiously kiss him.
“Glad to pass your test then, you idiot”, he murmurs against Sehun’s lips and the raven head smirks.
“Just so you know, you got an A+ plus too.”
“Well then, that means I must put this key in good use.” Jongin headbutts the other weakly before capturing Sehun’s lower lip between his teeth, playfully teasing him. The raven head grins cheekily and then proceeds to wrap his arms around Jongin’s neck to pull him closer until they’re breathing in each other, feeling each other’s heartbeats against their own.
And then it just slips out, once again.
“I fucking love you”, Jongin says and he doesn’t even realize to regret it. “So much.”
(He doesn’t regret it.)
“I know. And right back at you, minus the curse words. Also, the next time you curse at me while saying ‘I love you’, I will kick your ass to the moon, alright?” Sehun snorts and the look in his eyes is nothing but adoring.
The glimmer in his eyes doesn’t disappear, unlike the heaviness in Jongin’s chest that is now nowhere to be found.
“Alright”, he nods and then kisses his lover again. “Are we done talking now?”
“You horny piece of shit”, Sehun says to that, laughing heartily when Jongin pulls him up. “If you hate me talking so much, why don’t you put more effort in shutting me up, then?”
“I’m not going to shut you up, I’m going to make you scream.”
“Oooh, kinky.” Sehun practically purrs against Jongin’s neck, his smile obvious on the russet’s skin. “I like it.”
“Of course you do. You’re the kinky one out of us.”
“Ha, don’t bullshit me, Kim Jongin. But anyway… please tell me you have your handcuffs.”
“What did I just fucking say?” Jongin asks.
Sehun laughs and then silence follows, as they become too busy exploring one another’s mouths and bodies.
Jongin knows that they’re a mess and that there are still a lot of things wrong with them, but there’s no doubt about the fact that he does love Sehun. Maybe he’s known the other for just a little over half a year, maybe Jongin doesn’t know everything about him—but right now, this is enough.
It’s enough, and while they’re a mess, they still make it work. Beautifully so.
“So”, Sehun begins again once they’re on his—their—bed. “Do you have them?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“I fucking love you, Kim Jongin.”
To that, the russet agent laughs, his hands roaming over Sehun’s bare shoulders. “I know.” He thinks he really does know, now. “But we really need to stop cursing while confessing. It’s so fucking unromantic.”
“Who says we’re romantic, anyways?”
“Good fucking point.”
“Now you’re just adding fuck to every sentence for fun, aren’t you?”
“…maybe.”