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Night Maneuvers
Erwin thought he was so smart. He thought he could get away with anything. He was smart--easily pulling the wool over everyone's eyes, when he wanted to--but he wasn't quite as smart as he thought. Nile was on to him. He had noticed him sneaking out at night. Sneaking out like a thief, who would believe it? The ideal, golden soldier, who followed regulations without fail, who answered every question correctly, who had the highest scores in everything except combat (Mike was the best at combat, everyone knew that). He was so smug and unassailable, so polished and polite.
Why was his best friend such an irritating asshole?
No, he was being unfair. Erwin was his best friend, and he wasn't stuck up or perfect. Not everyone liked him. People called him weird, or cold, or driven, or obsessed, and these things were, without exception, true. He was weird, but he was a human being. He wasn't that insufferable. Like anyone, he had faults and strengths, and they'd never grated on Nile before. He'd admired Erwin's guts, and he'd respected his intelligence. He'd understood the dream that inspired him, because Erwin had told him about it: a secret he'd revealed only to Mike and Nile.
Yet Nile had started to find him--his old, good friend--infuriating.
He'd noticed the way Erwin had started to look at Marie. He noticed how Marie looked back. The warm notes in their voice bordered on flirtation, and not one of their jokes escaped him. If Erwin thought he was keeping it a secret, he was wrong. Nile wasn't an idiot. He didn't blame Marie for her lingering glances. She was friendly to everyone, and Erwin was so damn charming. It wasn't as if Nile and Marie were--well, he wanted to be. Of course he wanted to. He wanted to hold her hand and kiss her and tell her things he'd never told anyone before.
He couldn't do that, because he was in the Survey Corps. Soldiers in the Survey Corps shouldn't have homes and families, because one day, they'd fail to come home. They'd leave behind widows or widowers, and their children would grow up lacking a parent. It wasn't logical, to build a family when you had such a short life expectancy and couldn't care for them.. It wasn't fair. Nile was logical. He was careful. He wouldn't put a woman through that ordeal. He didn't want to think of Marie, receiving the death notice, tears clouding her dark eyes. No, he couldn't think about that.
He'd promised Erwin and Mike that they'd serve in the Corps together. He kept his promises, even if he didn't always want to. He wasn't about to abandon his friends.
It would be easier to be loyal if one of those friends wasn't leaving in the middle of the night, without telling him anything about it. He'd noticed Erwin's departure two times in the past several weeks. He was glad he'd decided to keep an eye on him, but watching him from the barracks clearly wasn't enough. No, he had to take his surveillance a step further. Nile determined to track him and see where he was going.
The personnel shortages worked in Erwin's favor. They gave him space in which to maneuver, reducing the number of people who could discover his absence. Nile wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't been paying close attention, having stationed himself in an empty bunk that was closer to Erwin's room. Room wasn't exactly the right word for it, but he had a separate space, partitioned off from the rest of the common area. So did Nile. It was one of the perks of having scored highly and being slated for advancement through the ranks. When Erwin moved, Nile heard the slight shifting of the floorboards beneath his feet. The sound wasn't loud enough to be called creaking. After Erwin passed, Nile waited a few moments, counting the beats of his heart, before slipping out of bed and following.
The night was quiet. The moon was a crescent in the sky. It provided some light, but not enough to betray someone who didn't want to be seen.
Erwin was good at sneaking out. If he'd wanted to be a criminal, he would have been the best one on record--or not on record, because he wouldn't have gotten caught. He kept track of guards' posts and movements, even taking into account who walked more quickly and who was prone to illicit naps. Following him undetected was a tricky affair, because he had to be close enough to Erwin that he wouldn't lose sight of him, but if he came too close, Erwin would detect his presence. It was easier than following Mike--then he'd have to take into account the direction of the wind and where it was blowing his scent, and that would be a pain--but it wasn't easy, by any means. Erwin's perfectly timed escape meant that Nile's delayed passage wasn't well timed at all. Twice, he nearly stumbled into the path of an oncoming guard.
What a pain.
Once they were off military grounds, the route Erwin picked was circuitous, but considering the general direction it took him in, Nile divined very quickly where it was talking him.
Damn it. He should have known. He had known, really, but he'd wanted to confirm it. Why? Just so he could be more angry? Keeping to the shadows near the side of the road and in alleyways, Nile watched from the shadows as Erwin stepped up to the lit door of the tavern where Marie worked.
He could have stormed inside and confronted him, but that would have given away his presence and upset Marie. Instead, he waited until Erwin had stepped inside, then crossed the road. Inside, it was crowded, and customers were coming and going, so he decided to risk looking in, just for a moment. He did so when the door next swung open, not going so far as to step in, but leaning forward. There was Erwin, at the bar, talking to Marie. Erwin leaned in to say something to her, which Nile couldn't hear over the noise of the other patrons. She laughed. Nile felt sick. He pulled away quickly, colliding with an older man who was trying to get in. The stranger glared. "Fuck off," Nile said, as he turned his back on both the man and the bar. And Erwin.
What a hypocrite Erwin was. Nile recalled all his nice words about how he wouldn't pursue a relationship with a civilian, because it wouldn't be fair. Because he might die at any moment, and he was the one who'd made the choice to offer up his life, if necessary--he shouldn't expect another person to submit themselves to it, solely because they cared about him. Nile had thought he was sincere, the serious way he'd talked about children growing up without fathers.
He headed back to the barracks, but he stopped in at a less clean and reputable tavern to buy a bottle of their cheapest and nastiest alcoholic beverage. He hadn't thought to bring money for a drink with him, but he needed one. Fortunately, the few spare coins he had with him were enough for him to purchase a sufficient quantity of something dark and noxious. He wasn't worried about stealth when walking through the town. He wasn't dressed in his uniform, so he strode openly and angrily down the street until he found himself back on military land.
Getting back inside the barracks was more of a problem than leaving had been, because he lacked Erwin's complete knowledge of the guards' routes. He hadn't thought about that. He kept out of the open as well as he could, but the security wasn't a joke. He probably should have planned this better, instead of relying on Erwin's plans. He made a misstep, went right when he probably should have gone left, and found himself greeted with a sharp, "Halt," and the barrel of a rifle.
A moment later, the barrel was lowered, and Nile saw the woman standing behind it. They were on friendly terms. That was good. He wasn't about to be court martialed for being out without permission after hours, but he preferred to avoid reprimands and punishment duty. "Oh, it's you, Dok. What are you doing out here?"
"I needed some air," said Nile, only half-bothering to hide the bottle he was carrying.
She spotted it. "Looks like that's not all you needed," she laughed.
He returned the laughter, though he had to force it. He could have given up Erwin then, could have turned him in for sneaking it out, but he wouldn't do that to a friend, even if Erwin had betrayed him first. "I won't be out again," he said.
She shook her head. "I believe it. I won't report you, as long as I don't catch you out here again."
"You don't need to worry about me."
"I bet I don't."
The stuff he'd bought tasted like he'd expected: like liquid misery, searing and sickening, but he choked down as much as he could without poisoning himself. It was a near thing. At first, he was surprised that he didn't immediately vomit it up, but in a few minutes, he wasn't thinking anything at all.
"Nile." Someone was shaking him by the shoulder, speaking softly to him. "Nile, wake up."
His eyes fought their way open, and he grumbled wordlessly. He couldn't have been sleeping that long. It was still dark. And why was he lying on the floor? Why was the ground tilting back and forth? God, he was drunk.
"Are you all right?" He knew that voice. Erwin. Erwin was here. Erwin the traitor. He gathered his legs beneath himself, trying to rise. His legs didn't work right, but he managed to lurch to his feet. He staggered forward, almost toppling over, but Erwin put an arm around him, holding him up. "Nile, what have you been up to?"
Nile wasn't so drunk that he couldn't come up with a comeback. "What have you been up to?"
"What have you been drinking?" said Erwin, frowning down at the bottle resting on the floor, which Nile had miraculously avoided knocking over.
"Didn't answer my question," said Nile, trying his best not to slur a single word. "Why not? What've you got to be ashamed of?"
"I'm not ashamed of anything," said Erwin, and Nile knew that was probably true, which irritated him more.
He'd show Erwin that he wasn't the only one who knew things, who could do things in secret. "I followed you tonight," he said.
"Did you?" Erwin asked, his tone remarkably mild.
"Yes," said Nile vehemently, "I did, and I know what you've been doing. You should be ashamed of yourself."
"But I'm not," said Erwin. Did Nile imagine it, or was there a coldness in his tone? Was he angry? Annoyed? It could be so hard to tell, where Erwin was concerned. "It's none of your business, Nile."
"Why not? Why isn't it my business? I'm your friend, aren't you? I mean, aren't I? I'm both your friends." It rankled, to call Marie his friend, but he had no other claim on her. "And you didn't tell me. And it isn't fair. You never think about how I feel, do you?"
Erwin was quiet. He should have said something, shouldn't he? Why wasn't he talking? "Well?" Nile demanded.
Then Erwin said something that confused him. "Is this about Mike?"
Mike? What did Mike have to do with anything? There was no reason to bring up Mike at a time like this. They were having a confrontation. What was Erwin trying to do? Nile couldn't be distracted so easily. "Stop playing dumb. You know what it's about."
Erwin was still patiently holding him up. It was slightly harder to yell at someone when they were helping you to stand, but Nile managed it nonetheless. He was still complaining when Erwin, who had fallen silent again, suddenly spoke. "Are you jealous?"
"Yes! I'm jealous. Of course, I'm jealous. You know that..." Nile blurted this angrily. Erwin had no right to act so surprised, as if he didn't know. If he didn't, why would he have been sneaking around, keeping it a secret? "You just do whatever you want. You don't care about me."
Nile was surprised to feel Erwin's hand on his face, lightly stroking his cheek. "I do care about you. Come on, you should lie down. You'll feel better."
Why was he being so nice? Nile was trying to start a fight, but Erwin wouldn't let him. He was so confused that he allowed himself to be led into Erwin's partitioned off "room". Erwin laid him down on his bed, which was larger and with a mattress of better quality than the standard bunk beds. He had to admit that Erwin was right. Once he was lying down, he no longer felt dizzy, and his temper eased, his breathing evening out.
Erwin continued to touch him, fingers moving over his face, his neck, then his chest. It was weird. In the dark, he couldn't see Erwin's face, so his expression was a mystery. "Look at you," said Erwin, fondly, although he certainly couldn't see Nile either. It occurred to Nile that Erwin was probably drunk too. It was hard to tell when he was drunk, the bastard. Inebriation would have explained his odd behavior, although he was somewhat odd at the best of times. But he'd probably been drinking, and--whatever else he'd done. Nile didn't want to think about it too much.
"You don't have to be jealous," said Erwin, and, to Nile's shock, he leaned down to kiss him, directly on the lips. Nile couldn't move, staring up into the darkness as Erwin's tongue slid over his lips, then pressed at them lightly, as if seeking a way in. Was this a joke? Nile should have pushed him away, said he didn't think it was very funny, but instead, he parted his lips, to see what would happen if he did. He received his answer immediately. Erwin's tongue pushed forward, into his mouth.
This wasn't what was supposed to happen. Erwin wasn't supposed to kiss him, but that was exactly what was happening. Erwin was kissing him very eagerly now, tongue moving back and forth between Nile's lips as his hands moved quickly over Nile's chest, unbuttoning the buttons of his shirt. Nile had not foreseen this turn of events, but nothing was more surprising to him than the fact that he continued to let Erwin do it. Erwin's hands were firm and sure, stripping him of his shirt and then unfastening the buckle of his belt, all as he continued to lick and then suck on Nile's tongue.
"Wait--" Turning his head to the side, breaking the kiss, he finally regained the ability to speak as his fly opened beneath Erwin's fingers and Erwin's hand folded around his cock, pulling it free of his trousers. This was--it was too bizarre. They couldn't do this.
"Do you want me to stop?"
No, he didn't. His cock, already stiffening, was growing harder in Erwin's hand, and he could think of nothing he'd like better than for Erwin to keep touching it. He was sure Erwin would have stopped, if he'd said, but he didn't say.
"Don't worry. You don't have to do anything. Just lie there. I'll make you feel good."
He really wanted to feel good. He'd forgotten to be angry at Erwin, although he dimly remembered that he was supposed to be, for some reason. It was very difficult to be upset with him, as Erwin slid down toward the end of the bed, then leaned down to put his mouth on the head of Nile's cock. It was the same as the way he'd kissed him: at first, he just set his lips there and moved his tongue in a slow, questing circle, but when Nile responded, by letting out a low moan and raising his hips, Erwin abandoned his caution, grew bolder and hungrier, sucking on his cock like--like a whore, Nile drunkenly thought, expert and efficient, so skilled with lips and tongue that Nile came almost at once, like it was his first time, his hips shaking, and his mouth almost releasing a cry that he managed to silence in time.
Erwin made a pleased noise. Erwin was swallowing his come. It was a foreign and incredible idea. Since when did Erwin do things like that? The perfect, polished, serious soldier, who seldom could be found with so much as a hair out of place. His hair was probably ruffled now, but Nile couldn't see it. His friend drew back with a soft laugh. "Be quiet. You'll wake everyone up."
"I know that, dammit. I'm quiet."
"You taste good, Nile."
"Don't say things like that." It was too jarring, to hear Erwin talking like a woman he was in bed with. Even if they were technically in bed with each other.
"All right, I won't. Whatever you want." Erwin lay beside him, his chest to Nile's chest, sliding an arm around his waist. He kissed Nile's mouth again. Nile thought about telling him to stop--he'd just come in Erwin's mouth--but he let him do it anyway. He could taste himself there, a sharp salty taste just on the edge of sour. He didn't like it; he didn't want to taste himself, but it was hard to complain about anything right now, when he felt warm and satisfied.
Erwin reached down between Nile legs to play with his now-soft cock. Nile wanted to know why he was doing it, but asking about it would bring it into sharper focus, would mean he'd have to talk about it. Instead, he kissed Erwin, and Erwin doggedly kept running his hand over Nile's cock and cupping his balls until he started to get hard again.
"Do you want to fuck me?" Erwin asked.
"I told you not to--"
"It's a simple question," said Erwin. "Yes or no?"
He hadn't done anything with a man before, let alone fucked one, but he was aware of the general procedure. "I don't know--what am I supposed to do?"
"You don't have to do anything."
"Yes," said Nile, after a hesitation, in which he imagined what it would be like to have Erwin on his cock, tight and warm around him.
Erwin rolled him over onto his back. "You don't have to wait. I'm already ready."
How was he ready? What did that mean? He didn't speak these questions aloud, and Erwin answered them when he rose up, straddling Nile at the hips, and carefully guided Nile's cock so that the head pressed against his asshole. Erwin lowered himself, slowly, and Nile experienced what he meant. He was wet, open, and it was easy to slide inside him. So easy, that Erwin didn't stop, sinking down until the entire length of Nile's cock was buried inside him. Why was he so wet? What had he done after Nile had last seen him in the bar with Marie?
He might have been able to think of the answer to these questions without Erwin's ass tightening, squeezing his cock as he rested there for a few beats before starting to rise. "Can I say you're good?" Erwin asked. Teasingly--he was still teasing him, even now.
Nile could hardly speak. "Fine-- Say it."
"You're good, Nile. I want your cock, Nile."
"Shit--" He wanted to say that Erwin was good, that he was tight, that he wanted him, but he didn't let himself. How could he talk to Erwin like that? Even if Erwin had no problems with speaking to him that way. "Shit, do it."
Erwin obliged him, rising and falling, riding his dick. Nile wondered if he should touch him, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He wasn't sure what to do, but Erwin had said he didn't have to do anything. He could lie back and enjoy this, and he did. Erwin didn't ask him for any more than that. Erwin started to stroke himself as he rode him, and the soft noises he made were the noises of a man who wanted to be louder. When had Erwin gotten good at this? Why did he like it so much? Why did Nile like it? He finally moved his hands, raising them to grip Erwin's hips, pulling him down greedily. "Come inside me," Erwin whispered. "I want you to come, now."
Erwin wasn't his superior, but he followed this order, it was so irresistibly commanding. For the second time, he came for Erwin, this time, into his ass. It was no wonder Erwin had told him to come--he'd timed this perfectly, as he did everything, climaxing mere instants after Nile did, his body tightening until it almost hurt, as it closed on Nile's cock. Warm come spilled out onto Nile's stomach. Nile didn't mind, at this point. Without complaint, he let Erwin collapse on top of him without cleaning him off. He was sticky and sweaty, but he didn't care. He was too exhausted and drunk to care. He closed his eyes. "I'm going to sleep now," he announced.
"Good night, Nile," Erwin whispered in his ear.
***
He sat up sharply, looking around for Erwin, but--Erwin wasn't anywhere. Nile was in his own bed, alone. Sitting up quickly had been a had idea, however, as the ache in his temples intensified into a full-on pain, and his stomach lurched. His face heated, and he felt not only sick, but unaccountably aroused.
But he was a soldier. Soldiers got up in the morning, no matter how stupid they'd been the night before. He washed and dressed and was ready along with everyone else as they lined up for inspection. As he waited, he glanced at Erwin, who was easy enough to pick out of the crowd. Erwin looked as neat and polished as usual, nothing on his face but a quiet and alert calm. Mike was standing next to him, in an identical pose, wearing an identical expression, and Nile frowned. Hadn't Erwin said something about Mike, the night before?
No, that couldn't be... Could it?
Nile and Erwin reunited in the mess hall after inspection, Erwin sitting down across from him, as he usually did, with Mike at his side, also as usual. It was such a very usual morning, that Nile almost couldn't believe what had happened the night before.
"How are you feeling?" Erwin asked.
"Fine," said Nile, trying and failing not to look at Erwin's lips and imagine them closing on his cock. He tried to focus on his food instead, but the mere sight of it made him feel sick. He forced himself to take a mouthful anyway, and then another. The mess food was bland and tasteless, which wasn't good, but it was better than when it tasted strongly of something awful.
When he looked up at Erwin again, it was to find Erwin pleasantly eating his food. How could he act like nothing had happened? What was wrong with him?
He gave a start as Erwin reached out to touch his face. "Ah--you've got something right here." Erwin brushed at some alleged food with his fingertips.
"Erwin," Nile said warningly. Mike leaned in to sniff at him, and Nile added a stern, "Mike," for good measure.
"If you're feeling better, maybe you can come out with us tonight," Erwin offered.
Nile looked from Erwin to Mike and back again. Their expressions were neutral, above suspicion. No one would have thought Erwin would have meant anything but what he said, but Nile knew better. You never could really tell, where Erwin was concerned, and Mike was hard to get a full sentence out of on the best of days, suspicious or not. Did Erwin mean a normal night out, like the many nights they'd spent together in the past, or was he hinting at something else? Damn it. He didn't know what to say.
"Maybe. Just watch yourself, Erwin Smith."
"I always do. I'm very watchful," said Erwin with a smile, and Mike snorted.
"You two are such idiots," said Nile, frowning down into his bowl of what could only be called gruel. They were idiots, even if Erwin was probably smarter than he was. They were idiots, but they were his friends, so he was stuck with them, and that was fine.