Chapter Text
Bellamy did not look out of the windows as often as he used to in the first two years. He started moving on, or he was in denial that Clarke- his co-leader, best friend, his
everything…
died.
Or that his sister is stuck in a bunker with what’s left of the human race and she is their new leader. He doesn't even know if she’s still alive. He grew a beard and his hair’s got longer. Raven used to laugh at him because if he hadn't had the beard he would look like Finn with this new hairstyle. He didn’t care what he looked like, he only cared if Octavia is still alive.
Everyday since they got on the ship he gets nightmares about Clarke and Octavia dying in priamfaya. The only way of stopping them is being awake. He tried but in the end he always fell asleep. One time he even fainted because he was that exhausted. The dreams don’t stop, they did not stop. Now he gets them every two or three days but they’re still there- the same dream keeps going around and around in his head.
He never actually forgave Echo for what she did to them on the ground, he silenced the anger with sleeping with her. He felt bad because he was using her but that was the only way of not snapping at her at every possible occasion. One time Echo said the words, those strong words - “I love you”. Bellamy did not answer, he practically ran out of the room.
The guilt was eating him alive.
He couldn't say those words back to her because it was casual for him. No strings attached just sex. How can he say those words to Echo when his heart belongs to a girl. A dead girl.
The sadness was eating him alive.
He didn’t say it. He did not say "I love you” to Clarke and she died and now he’ll never get the chance to say them because
she’s dead.
_______________
“Bellamy! Get your ass over here!” Raven shouted.
“Raven what the fuck! You know that you don’t need to shout here.”
“Yeah whatever but that’s not important now. What’s important is that I think that we could get back to earth in less than a week from now.” Raven said with a huge smile on her face.
“That’s- that’s great! Okay now we need to get ready, I’m going to inform others.” Bellamy answered with a hint of a smile. That was the first time he was somehow happy on this ship.
Bellamy broke the news to everyone and practically everyone was happy, except Echo. She was scared that the first thing that Octavia’s going to do when she sees her is kill her.
“I can’t Bellamy. I can’t go back down there. Octavia’s going to kill me when she sees me and you know that. I almost killed her and threatened to kill practically everyone she’s ever loved.”
“I know.”
there was this uncomfortable silence between them. Bellamy didn’t know how to comfort her because even though he knew her now for six years the only thing he did with her was sex…nothing else. They didn’t even cuddle after that, he just left the room and went to his. He cared about her in a weird way because after all six years is a long time but every time he saw her Bellamy remembered all the awful things she has done to him and his friends. The thoughts that she took Clarke’s place on the ship and that Clarke could be here instead of her were a everyday thing also.
“You’re not going to say anything, are you huh?”
Silence.
“I know that I’m not going to be as important as Clar-“
“Don’t” he snapped. He couldn’t even bear to hear her name.
“I’m sorry I just I-“
“Echo leave, please just…I want to be alone ." He answered with a hurt look on his face.
She looked at him one more time and left. He knew he was an asshole to her, but ever time someone mentioned Clarke he just snapped right back at them.
___________
*A week later*
“Okay everything is ready! Get your asses in here and lets go home.” Raven shouted with a glimpse of excitement in her voice.
“Once again Raven…You do not need to shout here!” Bellamy shouted at her realizing that he just contradicted his argument. Raven just rolled her eyes and started working on something, as always.
_______
When everyone got into the drop ship, Raven started working on getting them back to earth. They were few kilometers away from landing but something weird happened. It felt like they broke into some kind of a bubble. One time they see the earth being destroyed and the one small green place and the other they see a huge forest and then something very weird to them- a modern city. The view didn't last long because they crashed into that forest and lost consciousness for a long time.
_______
His head hurt like hell, everything in his body was hurting him. When his eyes opened he realized that he was laying on a very comfortable bed. The first thought was that going down to the ground was a dream but when he opened his eyes he saw that he’s in a very nice room. He wanted to stand up but his muscles were too sore to even move.
“Hey calm down buddy!” someone said. He didn't recognize his voice.
“Who are you?!" was the first thing he asked.
“Oh you don’t know who I am…um well that’s very uncommon but I’m Tony Stark” the man answered. “I know you lived in a space ship but I’m kinda known…in the whole universe…not that I’m bragging or anything.” The first thought about this guy is that his sarcasm and ego is very high... too high for his liking.