Archive of Our Own

One.

Sho walked into the small lobby, and pressed the button for the elevator to go up to the studio they usually rented for practise. As he was about to walk into the elevator, though, someone pulled him away.

“Sho-chan!”

Confused, Sho looked into Aiba’s beaming face. “What is it? I thought I was the late one, since I didn’t make it to Saizeriya to meet everyone like usual, but you just arrived, too?”

Aiba shook his head. “I’ve been hiding behind that pillar there,” he said, pointing, “waiting for you.”

“Um. Okay.” Sho smiled uncertainly. “Why?”

“My brother was supposed to go out today, but he’s not feeling well, so he had to stay home.” Aiba dug into his bag, and pulled out two tickets, waving them at Sho. Sho couldn’t read what was on them, since Aiba wouldn’t hold them still. “Anyway, he gave me his tickets to the new theme park, you know, the one with the tallest or scariest ride or whatever, umm, Tower of Doom or something? I saw it in a commercial, it looked like a lot of fun!”

Sho was still staring at the waving tickets in front of him. “And you want me to go with you,” he said flatly.

“Yup,” Aiba said happily.

Sho sighed. There was no use trying to explain that Aiba wouldn’t get him on the Tower of Doom, no matter what. “When?”

“Now, of course!”

“We’re supposed to be at practise.”

“I know,” Aiba said patiently, “but I told Nino that I had to stay back at school for something, and surely you could call him and say something came up?”

“Let me get this right. You want me to call Nino up right now, and tell him that I can’t go to practise, because you’ve got tickets to some theme park, and you actually think I’m going to go on a ride called, uhm,”

“The Tower of Doom,” Aiba supplied, in the same bright tone.

“A ride called The Tower of Doom, with you?” Sho looked at Aiba dubiously. Maybe Aiba was just pulling his leg, he thought. Was it April Fools yet?

“Yup!” Aiba grinned guilelessly. “You’re my boyfriend, after all. Of course I’d want to share something this cool with you.”

Sho opened his mouth to protest, but no sound came out. The word Aiba used - boyfriend - kept ringing in his head. In the end, he muttered something incoherent, while Aiba just nodded indulgently and gently pushed Sho forward, urging his boyfriend to get a move on so that they could get to the theme park before it was too dark.

Two.

“Sho-chan, Sho-chan, Sho-chan!”

Sho looked up as Aiba came running towards him, unsure if he was irritated or glad to see his boyfriend. He glanced uneasily at the passers by watching them, as Aiba stopped in front of him and hugged him. Subtly stepping away from the embrace, he said, “you’re late.”

“I’m sorry. I really tried to come as soon as I could,” Aiba replied. Sho was already starting to walk ahead, so he rushed to walk by Sho’s side. “The movie hasn’t started yet, anyway, right?”

“I like to be there a little early, so that I don’t have to rush,” Sho said, but he wasn’t really in the mood to be mad. He wasn’t really in the mood to do anything, not even to watch the movie, which wasn’t one that he had particularly wanted to watch in the first place. “My school has mock exams next week,” he said casually, trying to hint that he needed to go home early after the movie to study.

“Nino told me,” Aiba replied. “He’s been locked up in his room whenever we’re not at practise. I don’t know what he’s thinking of, he’s always in the top two at school anyway. I’m glad that you’re a little more relaxed, and came out to see me anyway.”

That’s because you looked like you wanted to cry when I said I might be busy, Sho thought, but he didn’t voice it out loud. He just smiled at Aiba, and figured that he could put off studying for just one evening. He nodded and made listening noises as Aiba told him about the latest gossip on all of his school friends (Sho didn’t know most of them, as he went to a different school, but he felt like he did, through Aiba’s stories). He was sleepy and tired, as he had barely slept in the last few days, but he stifled his yawns, afraid that Aiba might think he was boring Sho. He barely noticed when they stepped into the cineplex.

The film was funny and thrilling and featured a minor character that looked a little like Nino, which amused Aiba to no end, but Sho didn’t notice any of these, as he fell asleep within the first twenty-minutes after the previews had started. Aiba pondered on whether he should wake Sho up, and then decided that it was probably better if he left Sho be. His left hand took Sho’s right, and he smiled contentedly as Sho’s fingers curled around his. Sho would never do that in public, not even in a dark movie theater, had he been awake. This is definitely better, Aiba decided, and even leaned to rest his head on Sho’s shoulder as he watched the movie by himself. Plus, he’ll feel guilty for falling asleep and spend more time with me when the movie ends. He wondered if it was bad, to want to hold Sho’s hand or manipulate Sho into extending their date when he knew Sho didn’t want to, but Sho had been really busy of late, so he would take what he could get.

When the film’s end credits were rolling, Sho was still fast asleep. Aiba hesitated, wondering if Sho would be cranky if he woke Sho up. He looked around. Noticing that almost everyone had already left the theater, he smiled and dropped a gentle kiss on Sho’s lips. He heard a low noise in Sho’s throat, and he kissed Sho again, a little harder this time. He pulled back, and watched as Sho’s eyelids fluttered open. “Hey,” he said softly.

“Hey,” Sho replied dazedly, still trying to remember where he was. “Did I miss the movie?”

“You did,” Aiba said, “but it doesn’t matter.”

Sho straightened up. “I’m really sorry,” he said again. “I’ll treat you to something good to make up for it, okay? What about that coffee place you love...?”

Aiba shook his head. “Coffee’s no good, Sho-chan. You’ll be kept awake instead of sleeping tonight like you should be doing. Anyway, like I said, it doesn’t matter. I’m happy that you came, even though you’re tired.”

“That’s true, I guess...” Sho stretched, before getting up. Aiba followed suit. “I really need to go back and get some rest. Since I have my mock exams next week, and we won’t be having practise, I’ll see you the week after?”

“Anytime is fine,” Aiba said. “Just don’t push yourself, okay?”

He was smiling as they parted ways, but inside he was wondering if he was a bad person, because he had wanted Sho to insist on staying instead of going home. He wondered if it was bad that seeing Sho’s figure grow smaller and smaller in the distance, not looking back at him even once, filled him up with a feeling of dread and premonition that he couldn’t quite place.

Three.

Sho walked at his usual pace, but noticing that Aiba wasn’t keeping up, he turned around. Aiba was looking up at the tacky sign on one of the buildings, an uncharacteristically somber expression on his face. “Aiba?” Sho asked. “Is something wrong?”

Aiba just gave him a wry smile, and shook his head. “It’s nothing,” Aiba said. He hurried over to Sho’s side, and said, “I was thinking that one day I’m going to look at that ugly sign over there and think that it’s the most beautiful thing ever, because I’m going to remember that when I first saw it I’m with the person I love most of all.”

Sho let the words sink in. He felt overwhelmed, just like he had the first time Aiba had said he loved him. He felt like his heart was a teacup and Aiba kept pouring all these feelings into it and everything was spilling out and he wanted to find a way to keep it in, to savour every single thing Aiba made him feel, but everything kept slipping away from him. It rendered him speechless, this feeling. So he just stood, and stared.

“Sho-chan, say something.”

“What,” he managed to say, but it came out almost in a croak, and it didn’t even sound like a question.

“I guess that’s something,” Aiba replied, the smile still on his face. “If I kissed you now, would you push me away?”

“I -” he started, but couldn’t finish his sentence. There were endless possibilities, endless lists of words he could say. I won’t push you. I don’t think it’s a good idea. I think you should stop asking questions and kiss me now. I can’t think when you say those things in such a matter-of-fact manner, like it just comes naturally to you. I need to sit down, get away, and process this.

I love you, too.

He was taking too long to reply and Aiba was already walking ahead of him. “Aiba,” he called out.

Aiba had his phone in his hands. He was e-mailing someone. “I’m sorry, I just remembered that I’m supposed to meet Nino about this time. I forgot that we had a date planned and said yes when he asked me, and then completely blanked it out.”

Sho frowned. It wasn’t like Aiba at all; Sho was the one who was always forgetting these things. He had started to keep a very organised planner, in an effort to remember plans he made with others. “I can go with you,” he offered. He didn’t quite understand it, but he didn’t want to part with Aiba, not just yet.

Aiba shook his head. “Sorry, Sho-chan. But I haven’t been with Nino in awhile, just the two of us, you know? I don’t want Nino to feel like the third wheel or anything, and I kind of want to be with my best friend for awhile?”

“That’s... fine, then.” Sho swallowed. He watched, feeling a little helpless, as Aiba waved goodbye and left. He’s just going to see Nino. I’ll see him again at practise in a few days, and he’ll probably call me tonight anyway. He wondered, then, why he felt so empty.

Aiba took one look behind once he thought he was far away enough. Sho was already turning to walk towards the station. He blinked back the prickle of tears that threatened to come, and looked at his phone. He scrolled down his contacts list to find Nino’s number, and called.

“Aiba? Thought you’d still be on your date.” Aiba could hear the sound of shooting and blood splashing. Nino was playing video games.

“Sorry, were you busy?”

The noises in the background stopped, as Nino paused his game. “It’s fine. What is it?”

“It’s Sho-chan,” Aiba replied. His voice was so quiet, Nino had to strain to hear it. “Nino, I don’t think he feels the same way about me.”

Four.

“Star Wars Day is not a holiday, you know.” Sho sounded irritated as he put on the seatbelt, but Aiba could see a hint of a smile on his lips.

“Well, you’re always so busy on ‘proper’ holidays so why not celebrate this one?” Aiba replied cheerfully, settling into the passenger seat. “Besides, isn’t it ingenious of me to tell our managers that we’re both super Star Wars geeks and need the day off to celebrate by having a movie marathon at home?”

“I bet it was Nino’s idea. Even you’re not that insane,” Sho said under his breath.

“Hey!” Aiba pouted. “What was that supposed to mean?”

“Wait. I take that back. Nino may come up with weird ideas sometimes, but he has nothing on you, especially when you go on your long nonsensical rambles.” Sho was grinning by then, but he turned his face away, so that Aiba couldn’t see.

“What do you mean, long nonsensical rambles? I don’t do that at all. And just for your information, Nino didn’t have anything to do with us suddenly being Star Wars fans and having to celebrate Star Wars Day. I thought of that all by myself,” Aiba said proudly, before continuing, “or maybe we really are controlled by aliens who put thoughts in our heads, I dunno, but anyway if they gave me the idea then it’s mine, isn’t it? Plus what would aliens do with a Star Wars Day holiday anyway? Watching six movies about space wars and stuff must be incredibly boring for them...”

“Aiba,” Sho interrupted in a strangled voice. Aiba stopped and looked at him in concern.

“Are you okay?”

Sho just nodded, but he was biting his lips, and his hands were gripping the steering wheel pretty hard.

“Are you sure? You look like you’re in pain. Maybe you have a stomachache or something?” Aiba looked thoughtful. “You know, maybe the aliens knew you were going to have a stomachache, which was why they gave me the Star Wars Day idea, so that we can be alone and I can take care of you while you’re in pain -”

Sho couldn’t take it any more. The car jerked into a stop in the middle of the parking lot; he didn’t even pull over to the side. His hands went up to his face and he doubled over. Aiba was already unbuckling his seatbelt and leaning towards him in concern.

“Sho-chan? Does it really hurt that bad?” As soon as the words left his mouth Aiba realised that Sho was laughing. He hit Sho’s shoulder lightly for laughing at him, but he was smiling. “I haven’t seen you laugh this much in awhile,” he said.

When his laughter had subsided, Sho straightened up to look at Aiba. “Is it stupid, if I said that this is one of the things I’ve missed the most about you?”

Aiba’s eyes widened slightly. Ever since they had gotten back together, they had barely mentioned the years they had spent apart. Aiba knew the topic would turn up sooner or later, but they were too elated with the fact that they were reunited, and neither of them felt like touching a subject that was sure to bring about unpleasant memories. Aiba had been dreading it, somewhat. He didn’t want to be reminded of the past. But that day, those simple words filled him with warmth. It radiated in the smile he gave Sho in response. “Well, it is kind of stupid, I guess. Since there are better things about me to miss.”

“Like what?”

“Like this...”

The kiss Aiba gave Sho sent a shock through his system; it had the traces of sweetness Sho was starting to get used to again, but it was different as well. Perhaps it was the mention of the past, but Sho thought he sensed a kind of desperation in Aiba.

Don’t leave me again.

I won’t.

He felt something indescribable welling up within him, as he pulled Aiba closer to deepen the kiss.

He didn’t know how it happened, exactly, but before he knew it Aiba was already on his side of the car, straddling him. When Aiba’s mouth left his, he wanted to tell Aiba that they ought to be more careful, that they shouldn’t be doing this here, but all that came out was a moan, and he immediately reddened, hearing his own voice, while Aiba smiled knowingly at him, and -

They both jerked in surprise when Sho’s pocket vibrated. Sho’s expression immediately turned serious as he reached for his phone. Aiba made no move to return to the passenger seat. “This is Sakurai,” Sho said. The grim tone he answered the phone with, and the contrast it made to the situation they were in made Aiba laugh. Sho frowned at him, but it only increased Aiba’s amusement.

“Hey, even if you want to play Leia and Solo, please please please get out of the Voyager building first? Because, you know, you’ve already traumatised me enough.”

“Fuck you,” Sho said mildly, but he knew that Nino knew he didn’t mean it. On the contrary, he felt grateful for the call, because it meant that Nino must be checking to see if they’d left, and was probably out there distracting anyone going to the parking lot. When Aiba gave him a questioning look, Sho explained. Aiba laughed again.

“Nino, my hero,” he said, mirth in his eyes. “Sho-chan, remind me again why did we become musicians in the first place?” Before Sho could answer him, he asked another question. “And aren’t you glad that we are now Star Wars fans?”

“Star Wars Day,” Sho said solemnly, “will be our very special day from now on. Now, can you please go back to your seat so that we could get home?”

Five.

Neither Sho nor Aiba were really paying attention to the television, as the host chatted with a pop idol. “Have you met her before?” Aiba asked, snuggling closer to Sho on the sofa. He suppressed a contented sigh as Sho’s hands moved up, idly stroking his hair.

“Mmm, we were on a music show together once, but we barely exchanged words.”

“It’s really amazing, you’ve met a lot of celebrities!”

Sho squinted at Aiba, and wondered if Aiba realised that Sho himself was a celebrity, and that Aiba was certainly rising in popularity as well. In the end, he didn’t think it was worth mentioning. “Mmm,” he said again, but Aiba wasn’t listening. Aiba was already sitting up, pulling away from Sho, eyes focused intently on the TV. Sho felt bereft. “Aiba -”

“Shh, they’re on right now!” Sure enough, the host had stopped talking to the idol and was now exchanging jokes with Nino and Ryuta. Even though Nino was officially a member of Red Shift, the band he had started with Aiba since junior high, he had collaborated with Ryuta, the lead singer of Cloud Chorus, on a song. That song was released as a special single by Nino and Ryuta, which earned both of them more fame and work outside of their usual bands.

When the chat part of the show ended, and Nino and Ryuta performed the song, Sho reached out for Aiba to pull him back close again. Aiba just glanced at him questioningly, and he didn’t know what to reply. “Don’t lean towards the TV too much,” he said gruffly. “It’s not good for your eyes.”

Aiba grinned and settled back against the sofa, leaning against Sho. He kissed Sho, very briefly, on the cheek, before turning his gaze back to the show. “I’m glad that we’re both free tonight and could hang out while watching Nino on TV.”

Sho didn’t mention all the strings he had had to pull in order to get himself and Aiba some free time. He just looked at Aiba.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Just want to memorise exactly how you looked right now, so that I would always remember. “I was just thinking about how surprising it is that I love this, just sitting quietly watching TV together like this.”

Forgetting all about seeing Nino on TV, Aiba was starting to get misty. “I love you, Sho-chan.” He rarely said it these days. Not because he didn’t feel it, and not because he was scared that Sho didn’t reciprocate his feelings. He supposed that it was partly because he didn’t need to, in a way. Nino had teased him about how his relationship with Sho was growing stale - they’re even spending their first ‘date’ in months at home instead of going out! - but he didn’t feel that way at all. He and Sho had gone through a lot together; by now, he had realised that no matter what happened, the force that had pulled him and Sho towards each other from the first time they had met, would always be there. It wasn’t a matter of whether or not they were in love. It was more like they didn’t know how not to be in love with each other. Aiba didn’t know how he felt about that, sometimes. Surely it couldn’t be entirely a good thing. But when Sho’s hold on him tightened, and Sho repeated the words, Aiba thought that he wouldn’t trade this feeling with anything else in the world.