Chapter Text
*Five Years Ago*
He was my best friend. He was the happiness to my life. I knew everything about him and he knew everything about me, well except for one thing: my sexuality. I’ve tried so hard to keep it from him, but every day that I don’t tell him, it just eats me more and more alive and I don’t know how much longer I can keep it in. I have to tell him, I just know for a fact that once I do, our friendship will be over.
He comes over to my house that night and he can immediately tell that something is wrong. I turn off the TV and look at him.
“Niall, there is something that I need to tell you,” I say softly.
He looks over at me, concern clearly written all over his face. I swallow deeply and process what I am about to tell him.
“What is it Haz?” he asks.
Well, it is either now or never.
“I’m gay,” I tell him. I look over at him and his face is dead. I have never seen him look like that before, never in my life have I seen him so upset. He slowly gets up from the couch and walks out the door and ultimately, walks out of my life forever.
*Present Day*
The wind nips at me as I walk across campus to class. Why did it have to be so far away from my dorm? The wind howls away, like a baby wolf looking for its mother. Little flakes of snow start to fall from the sky and dust the ground in an everlasting blanket of white, that’s what I like to think anyway.
The warmth of the Comm building immediately envelops me and I am so glad that I have finally made it to class. I pull my beanie off my head and shake my hair, trying to get rid of my infamous hat hair but it really is no use, these stupid curls prevent that from happening.
I sling my backpack further up my shoulder and walk down the decorated hallway filled with photos and written articles of the people that have taken classes here. I stop at room 118 and sigh; it is time for another boring day.
I make my way to the back of the class and drop my bag on the ground and pull out my Journalism notebook. Don’t get me wrong, I love writing and hope to pursue a career in it one day, but this class is just so boring! I have learned everything already that the professor has taught us when I was in high school.
Professor Getty walks in the class then and we immediately begin the day’s lesson. I take all the notes that I need and then just wait for him to give us our assignment for the week. I begin doodling in the corner of my notebook when I start to get bored in class. My notebook is literally filled with countless and pointless doodles that I have done from class.
Professor Getty gives us our assignment and then dismisses us from class. I pack up everything in my bag and make my way out of class and to the cafeteria for lunch with my friend, Liam.
The wind nips at my exposed skin when I exit the building and I pop my beanie back on my head and make my way over the library real quick to get a cup of coffee.
The woman politely takes my order and gives me my caramel macchiato and I leave the library. My phone buzzes in my pocket and I quickly pull it out to see who it is from.
I won’t be able to make it to lunch today, have to work on an assignment. – Li
I sigh and shoot him a quick reply and then place the phone back into my pocket. I bring the warm cup of coffee to my lips and let the warmth of the liquid travel throughout my body and warm me up.
I walk past the student center and to the cafeteria and wait in line for lunch to begin. Today is Wednesday, which means that they are serving Mandarin Orange Chicken for lunch, along with all the other stuff that we could have. This dining hall is like a buffet, you just get your card scanned and then you can eat whatever you want. It really is nice, except the meal plans are so god damn expensive.
I grab a plate of the chicken with white rice and find a table in the back of the dining hall and set my stuff down with it. I pull out my notebook and begin working on my journalism assignment for the week when I hear the chair across from me scrape across the floor. I look up from my work and smile when I see who it is.
“Hey Louis,” I say with a smile.
Louis smiles back at me and throws his bag on the back of his chair and then slides in.
“How’s it going today Hazza?” he asks me. I shrug my shoulders, which is what I normally do when Louis asks me that question every day.
“Just working on my journalism assignment that Getty gave us,” I tell him.
He nods his head and then takes a bite of his hamburger and then stuffs a few fries into his mouth.
“Another boring assignment for the week huh?” he pointed out.
I just nod my head and take a bite of my chicken.
“The assignment this week is to write about something important that happened in our past,” I mentioned. I really didn’t want to work on this assignment because nothing really important has happened in my past other than Niall walking out of my life and me never hearing from him again.
“Have you thought about what you are going to write about?” he questions. I shake my head and take another bite of my chicken.
Louis and I sit in silence for the rest of our meal and then he takes off for his next class while I am free for the rest of the day. I make my way back to my dorm room and then throw my backpack against the far wall and plop down on the sofa in the main living area.
I turn on the TV and try to find something interesting to watch but nothing seems to be on so I just shut it off and decide to go to the gym to get my daily workout in. I change into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and then pack my gym clothes into a bag and head over to the Wellness Center where the gym is located.
The snow has picked up when I step outside and I zip up my jacket and stuff my hands in my pockets to keep them warm. I am relieved when I make it to the gym and I smile at the woman who is running the desk. I hand over my student ID and she scans it into the computer and tells me that I have an hour until I have to leave. I smile at her and then head to the locker room to change into my workout clothes.
I walk upstairs after I have changed and then plug in my headphones. I select my workout playlist and then I start jogging around the track. I jog around the track for about ten minutes and then decide that I should lift some weights. I am sweaty at this point so I take off my shirt and tuck it inside of my shorts. I pick up a couple of twenty pound weights and get to my usual routine. Another half hour passes and I decide to call it a day and head back to the locker room for a shower.
I turn on the water and set it to the right temperature and I let the hot water relax my muscles after what I put them through. I grab the soap that I brought and wash off all the sweat and grime from my workout.
I wrap a towel around my waist and quickly dry myself off. I get dressed and then head back to my dorm again. The snow has started falling heavier and now there is a thick blanket of snow covering the ground. Great, looks like I won’t be going anywhere tonight. Thursday is the day where I don’t have any classes so I usually go out and do stuff on Wednesday nights but that isn’t going to happen tonight.
It is late afternoon and the snow has started to pick up and the sky has that orangeish tint to it when it snows out, making look even more spectacular than it already is.
I pull my jacket tighter to me as the wind starts to pick up and nip at my partially wet skin, sending shivers throughout my body. My phone beeps in my pocket and I pull it out seeing that I have a notification from Facebook. I click the button and see that someone liked one of my work out pictures. I don’t even pay attention to the name and just put my phone back in my pocket.
I scan my card at the front of the building so I can get in, security is special like that, then climb the stairs to the second floor where my dorm room is. I scan my card again to get in my room and throw my bag on the sofa and then turn on the TV to see if anything interesting is on.
I eventually settle on the news and the weatherman says the snow would continue for the next few days, giving us a total of almost seven inches in the next couple of days. I groan to myself, my weekend would be ruined if the snow continued like this.
I am about to change the station when a story on the news catches my eye. A boy about my age was stabbed repeatedly while walking home from work and was in the hospital in critical condition. My heart fell to my feet when they said the name of the boy: Niall Horan.