Chapter Text
Javier blinked awake, rubbing at his eyes in confusion at what he perceived to be an unfairly bright source of light disturbing his sleep.
“Ugh – hurts my eyes....my head too....oww”, he whined, as he squinted around the room. “Yuzu, could you please pull those curtains, I wanna sleep some more”, he mumbled, then turned over contently, anticipating darkness and unconsciousness.
It took a few seconds for it to register. But when it finally did, Javier’s eyes snapped open in alarm, and then he slowly turned around in bed, with an expression of horrified bewilderment.
“....Yuzu?” he asked, carefully, once he ascertained that he had, indeed, not hallucinated his team-mate. “Um....why are you in my bed?”
Yuzuru smiled at him winningly, from where he sat, on the other side of the bed, but still close, much too close for Javier’s comfort, head tilted as he watched Javier, apparently finding his confusion amusing.
“Javi, you don’t you remember last night?”
Somewhere in Javier’s book of well-used phrases there was a colourful one which fitted precisely this kind of situation. Except he’d probably have to come up with a new variation to somehow include waking up next to one’s team-mate after a drunken night, with no memory of going to bed with him in the first place. Even on the upper scale of fuck-ups, this broke the meter and it deserved a scale all on its own.
Javier groaned, his head pounding. He didn’t feel fit enough to stay awake, let alone think about, or discuss his predicament.
Yuzuru continued to watch him from where he sat, perched like a mermaid atop a rock, wrapped rather aesthetically in a silk sheet. That brought another thought to Javier’s mind, and he surreptitiously peered underneath the covers at himself to confirm – yes, he was in fact, naked, and in all likelihood so was Yuzu underneath that sheet. He closed his eyes tightly. That’s it, he was going to sleep for the next 100 years.
“...Javi?” he heard Yuzu speak. He didn’t react. “Jaaa-viii”, he heard again, “are you sleeping?” Javier still didn’t answer, then he heard some vague rustling, then Yuzuru’s voice, on a different, sultry tone: “Last night you weren’t wanting much sleep, so I understand now, you’re tired...”
Javier’s eyes popped open in horror, just in time to see Yuzuru’s approaching face (and lips) giving him a soft peck on the cheek.
“It’s okay, you sleep. I draw curtains for you so you can sleep better.”
“Th-thank you”, Javier managed.
“And when you wake up later, we can have breakfast in bed.”
“Uhhh- Yuzu, you can go ahead and have breakfast without me, it’s cool. Really, you don’t have to wait for me. I’ll probably sleep for a few hours”. Or a week.
Yuzuru looked at him adoringly, but shook his head resolutely.
“Nooo, I want wait for you. We do things together now!”
Lovely, just lovely.
Javier needed about 10 coffees to start making sense of this bewildering situation, but only after a long healthy nap.
He cleared his throat.
“Yuzu, er- carino, can you do something for me, please?”
Yuzuru perked up at that, eyes shining.
“Of course, Javi! Anything!”
“My head really hurts, so can you please get me an Advil? And some water?”
“Hai!” Yuzuru answered immediately, jumping off the bed, and hurrying to fetch the stuff Javier had requested. The sheet was still wrapped around him, rather loosely, and Javier alternated between two fears – that it would fall off entirely, or that Yuzuru would trip on it and fall, but he somehow managed to keep it on, while moving around rather elegantly. He pulled the curtains as well, and the room was plunged into near-obscurity, Javier letting out a small noise of grateful relief. Yuzuru returned with a pill and a glass of water, and sat down on the side of the bed, offering them to Javier with an expectant smile.
Javier couldn’t help returning the smile, his first genuine smile of the day. Taking the pill gratefully from Yuzuru, Javier washed it down with plenty of water, then drained the entire glass in a long thirsty drag. As he finished, and was about to lie back down, he noticed that Yuzuru had bent over and was arranging his pillow.
“Uh- Thanks Yuzu, thanks a lot.”
“Poor Javi head hurts”, Yuzuru crooned, straightening, and brushed his fingers through Javier’s curls. “I do a little massage, maybe it help?”
Javier fidgeted. Yuzuru was very close, close enough for Javier to breathe in his scent. Yuzuru smelled warm and fresh, like sand and sea warmed by the afternoon sun, and his fingers on Javier’s scalp were soft and soothing. Javier was afraid to look him in the eye. He pulled back, hopefully slowly enough so it wouldn’t feel like an outright rejection, and tried to find his words.
“That’s fine”, he eventually stammered, “You don’t have to. I’m sure I’ll be alright. I took the pill and it should start working soon so...”
He eased himself back on the pillow, and Yuzuru’s hand followed him down, still caressing his hair.
“Okay”, Yuzuru agreed, smiling his scrunchy smile, and removed his hand. Now Javier found he wanted to chase back the closeness.
“Sleep well, Javi.”
Javier sighed and fell asleep almost immediately.
When Javier woke up again his headache was blessedly gone. He sighed and stretched, enjoying the feeling of being rested and pain-free. And then he remembered his predicament, and along with the memory, the pain threatened to make a full-on comeback. Before he could stop himself, he groaned, and Yuzuru materialized from somewhere in the room, hopping onto the bed, nearly straddling Javier’s torso.
“You’re awake?”
“Y-yeah. Kind of”, Javier squeaked.
Yuzuru nodded, looking at him, assessingly, while Javier tried hard (and probably failed) to act natural.
“Javi sleep a LOT!” Yuzuru eventually said, judgmentally.
“Meh”, Javier shrugged eloquently. “Happens.”
“You’re lucky today is free day!” Yuzuru laughed, and then he bent over, closing in on Javier’s face, pursing his lips with unmistakable intent. Javier flailed around comically, shocked and blushing, in an effort to delay the inevitable.
“Oh, Javi is shy now!” Yuzuru exclaimed, straightening with a smile. “It’s cute!” He bopped Javier on the nose and hopped off the bed.
“I make you coffee”, he trilled, on his way to the kitchen. “I hope I do right. I never make coffee before.”
“I’m sure it will be great.” Javier hastened to say.
He sighed and shook his head with a smile. Yuzuru seemed to be taking it for granted that they were now in a relationship, but it wasn’t as bad as Javier had expected. Maybe it was too early to tell, but ‘in a relationship’ Yuzu was acting pretty much like the usual Yuzu, just a tad more enthusiastic, so maybe the situation wasn’t so bleak. Still – still.
The Yuzu-made coffee which was indeed not bad, followed by a very welcome shower, helped clear Javier’s muddle brain a little, as he struggled to remember what he could of the previous night. The first thing he did was examine his entire body for marks and traces and was a bit miffed to discover absolutely nothing. All his previous drunk encounters had something to show for it – his most memorable one left him with a hip bruise that had nothing to do with the sex itself, but the result of him accidentally falling off the bed during a particularly athletic position in which he engaged a little too enthusiastically. It ended up interfering with his jumps, and eventually he had to tell Brian about it, which led to one of the most embarrassing moments of Javi’s life, and a long lecture. This time, however, Javier was squeaky clean, no bruises, no nail or finger marks, no suspicious redness or chafing....anywhere, and the only fluid he was covered in was his own sweat. Whatever did happen last night, he was pretty sure by now it did not involve penetrative sex. That was a relief. Maybe he only made out with Yuzu. But then Javier’s blood froze as he remembered Yuzuru’s earlier words ‘last night you weren’t wanting much sleep’ – Javier’s mind perversely threw back at him Yuzuru’s exact words in his mangled English and the suggestive tone in which he said it. Javier panicked. Whatever did Yuzuru mean by that? Javier frowned, and hit his forehead, trying to remember: “Think, think, damn it!” What was wrong with him and this complete blackout amnesia, did he really get so wasted? Maybe he was getting old...
Of course, the simple thing would be to ask Yuzuru....who may or may not get mad, guilty, offended, and would probably end up avoiding Javier. No, it wouldn’t do. He’d just have to play it by ear, as usual.
Javier came out of the shower naked, drying off nonchalantly – he didn’t see the point in acting all bashful now, the cat was among the pigeons. He didn’t miss the way Yuzuru stared at him intently, worrying his lip between his teeth, a vivid blush high on his cheeks. He made no comment, however, which Javier thought was strange – nor did he try to approach him. Javier shrugged and started putting on his clothes.
“So what do you wanna do today, Yuzu?”
Yuzuru perked up again at that.
“What do you want to do, Javi?”
“I don’t have any special plans, actually. I was gonna laze around, watch some movies, play some games. It’s Sunday after all.”
“I don’t have plans either”, Yuzuru nodded, then he paused for a little while, in thought. “I was thinking”, he started, voice a little high, but then he stopped.
“Yes?” Javier prompted.
“It’s okay if you don’t want”, Yuzuru hurried to say. “But I was thinking maybe we go for a walk – in the park? It’s a nice day.”
“That’s a great idea. Let’s do that. We’ll go feed the ducks.”
Their arms brushed every now and then on the crowded bus and at some point, an abrupt halt pushed them into each other. Yuzuru was quick to pull away with a fervent apology, almost knocking into another person as a result, and Javier rolled his eyes and reached an arm around Yuzuru, pulling him firmly against Javier’s body, as he gripped the railing tightly. Yuzuru melted against him immediately. A lady a few rows ahead smiled warmly in their direction, before turning away, but something didn’t sit right with Javier. Yuzuru seemed a bit shy around him, considering that last night they had done god knows what, and in the morning he was giving him suggestive looks. It seemed like Yuzuru didn’t know how to act around Javier now. Well, that made two of them.
They got off the bus, and walked slowly in the direction of the park. They stopped to buy Javier’s favourite tomato basil crusty bread, which they shared as they walked.
“Save some for the ducks”, Yuzuru commented.
“I like this too much to share with an army of ducks”, Javier moaned. “I’ll buy them a plain bagel.”
“You share with me”, Yuzuru pointed out, quietly.
“You’re just one”, Javier laughed, and pinched Yuzuru playfully. Then because he felt that Yuzuru was still too quiet, too remote, he deliberately reached and took Yuzuru’s hand in his own.
Yuzuru nearly choked on his mouthful. Javier threw him a worried side glance. Yuzuru coughed a little, then seemed to relax, leaving his hand limp in Javi’s and staring intently at the ground.
Javier sighed. Something wasn’t right. They needed to talk about this. But how to start?
“Hey, Yuzu. I didn’t hurt you last night, did I?” he asked, squeezing Yuzuru’s hand reassuringly.
Yuzuru snapped his head up to look at Javier with something like panic.
“What?” he asked. “Of course not, why – why do you ask?”
“Uh, I thought maybe I was uhh – a little rough?” Javier took a wild guess.
Yuzuru’s eyes were little slits, unreadable, as he looked at Javier in silence.
“Why do you say that?”
It was Javier’s turn to cough and look uncomfortable. He shook Yuzuru’s hand, wanting to dispel the moment.
“Maybe....maybe I’m a bit insecure”, he pouted. “You didn’t mention whether you liked what happened last night.”
Yuzuru sighed.
“I like a lot....what happened last night”, Yuzuru finally answered slowly. “A lot,” he emphasized, and Javier’s eyes widened, his mouth going dry as he was left to wonder again what exactly had happened last night.
“What did you like the most?” Javier asked, carefully.
Yuzuru’s hand twitched sharply in his, as if it wanted to get away. Yuzuru smiled sadly, under Javier’s gaze, and turned to look straight at Javier as he answered, still smiling:
“Being with you.”
Javier’s heart melted with something like pity, even as it overflowed with affection. He had to stop and pull Yuzu into a strong warm hug, like the two of them exchanged from time to time, for no other reason than to feel each other close.
“You can be with me always”, Javier said, the words tumbling out from his heart, with seemingly little input from his brain.
Yuzuru sighed again and tightened his hold.
“Javi, I have to tell you something.”
“What is it?” Javier said, pulling back a little.
Yuzuru let go as well, and gestured towards a nearby bench:
“Let’s sit.”
They went to sit on the bench, Yuzuru preoccupied and Javier looking at him curiously.
Some time passed, and Yuzuru still wasn’t saying anything, but Javier didn’t feel like prompting him. He’d tell in his own time. For now, Javier sat and enjoyed the sun on his face, the warm fresh air, the distant calls of the ducks and the excited yells of the children, and last but not least, the proximity of one of his favourite people in the world, a strange and fierce little boy whom Javier was very fond of. And who didn’t deserve all this mess, and Javier desperately wished he could let him down gently and still remain friends.
“Javi, you should know that we didn’t....do anything last night. Not like you think. You drank a lot, then fell asleep. And I thought, what if... what if I make you think... I wanted to know, how it is to be with you, just for a day. It was very silly. I feel ashamed.”
“Yeah?” Javier smiled, with some amusement, and reached a hand towards Yuzuru to gently smooth an unruly strand of hair. He had begun to suspect that for a while now, but it didn’t hurt to hear it confirmed. “And how is it with me, for a day?”
“It’s always good to be with you”, Yuzuru sighed. “But it’s no good lying to you. So I had to tell you.”
“I’m glad you did. And, Yuzu....I’m sorry.”
“Why, Javi? I should be sorry.”
“I’m sorry that...you had to lie.”
Javier flinched even as he said it, and braced himself for Yuzuru’s reaction, but was still overwhelmed by the look of pain in Yuzuru’s eyes.
“I know you don’t feel for me...the same as I do for you”, Yuzuru murmured. “You don’t need to apologize.”
“That’s not exactly true....”, Javier tried to explain. “I have a lot of feelings for you. I am always happy to see you, I’m glad when you succeed, I feel sad for you when you don’t. I enjoy spending time with you and I think you’re a great person.”
“But you don’t love me.”
“I don’t not love you”, Javier insisted. “Te quiero, de verdad! I have a lot of affection for you. But”-
“Not the way I feel for you-“
“...probably not the way you want me to feel, yeah”, Javier admitted.
Yuzuru nodded sadly.
“Of course. I should have known. It’s the curse.”
“I’m sorry, the what?”
“Nevermind.”
“It sounded like you said ‘it’s a curse’. Don’t be so dramatic, there are plenty of people who love you and who would like nothing better than to receive even an ounce of your attention.”
“I know that too”, Yuzuru sighed.
“Well then. Cheer up. I’m not that much of a catch. I’m a lazy bum, you know me. And you – the world’s your oyster.”
“No”, Yuzuru answered seriously. “Not anymore.”
Javier frowned a little, wondering if he should explain that expression to Yuzuru, because it didn’t seem like he had understood it.
“I know it feels bad right now”, he said instead. “But you’ll get over me soon enough. And you know I’ll always be your friend, right, Yuzu?”
Yuzuru still looked melancholy, yet he offered a small grateful smile at Javier’s words.
“I just hate that I’m the cause of your suffering”, Javier worried.
“Not your fault”, Yuzuru hurried to say.
“All the same, I wish I could make it better. I’d do anything to make it better, really.”
“Don’t say that. That you’d do anything. Don’t say things like that, Javi”, Yuzuru said pointedly.
Javier’s eyes went wide and he fell quiet.
“In another universe, you might have loved me”, Yuzuru mournfully stated, and that rang strange to Javier’s ears, so he laughed it off.
Instead he took Yuzuru’s hand and interlaced their fingers.
“Tell you what, the day’s not over yet.”
“What do you mean?” Yuzuru frowned.
“Well, you said you wanted to see what it’s like being with me for a day. You still get that, Yuzu. We haven’t fed those ducks yet so come on!”
“Javi...you are too kind for your own good”, Yuzuru sighed, and leaned on Javier’s shoulder with a small smile.
“Nah. I just like spending time with you.”
Javier brushed a gentle kiss through Yuzuru’s mop of hair, inhaling that sweet warm scent that felt enticingly exotic, while also strangely recalling the comforts of home.