Chapter Text
"It's okay, come on." Rey said, ushering the last of the Resistance survivors onto the Falcon. Rey was stressed out to say the least. She needed to speak with Finn, and touch base with the General. So much had happened in so little time, she thought.
Luke, her master and teacher, was gone from this planet and from her life. She had only known him for a short time, but their own bond within the force gave Rey such comfort that she had never known, and that comfort was now replaced with the peace and purpose he had left behind.
With a frown, the word 'Bond' reminded her of Luke's nephew. 'Ben' her mind whispered to her, soft in such a way that seemed to nearly eased all of her worries. Rey quickly shook the feeling away, unsure of the man himself. As much as she had tried to fight the truth, the man she was bonded with, was still at the end of the day, her sworn enemy.
What was the next step here? Would Ben find them? And kill them? Where are they to go now th-
Her though was interrupted by the familiar buzzing, followed by complete silence; An indicator that the pair was linked now through their force bond.
Immediately, Rey tensed, glancing around and realizing that the final Resistance survivor had already loaded onto the ship, having left Rey to her thoughts.
Satisfied that they were alone, Rey looked towards her right, and gazed down at Ben- Stubbornly, Rey corrected herself. No, this was Kylo Ren... He had chosen that, above all else she offered... This, was his choice.
Focusing on him, Rey observed him. Kylo was crouched down the ground, his fist clutching something in his gloved palm, and she watched him for a moment until she saw his shoulders tense, realizing the bond had settled into place without his knowledge.
Kylo's head whipped towards her, almost surprised to see her there, and she noticed the flicker in his eyes switch to anger...Anger...and something else. Hurt? Betrayal? Rey tried to make sense of it. Should she be the one who felt betrayed? She wondered.
They simply stared at one another for a moment, both filled with so much to say, yet they remained silent in this space between time that their bond created for them. In this bond, they were one, though in their current state of mind, they would never realize it.
Observing her, Kylo felt the shift in Rey as she was building up courage to speak, every emotion and thought so vivid in her eyes and way she so stubbornly stood. He wanted badly to scoff at that, to laugh at the idea of this girl, the scavenger, being courageous.
But deep down, he knew. He knew all too well that she is courageous in everything she does. 'A survivor', his mind spoke. It was admirable he felt, but the dark side of his mind quickly ushered that notion out, and reminded him that she refused him, denied him of his offer and care.
Just as quickly as the admiration came, it withdrew from him, replaced with apprehension and annoyance with her.
Kylo watched as she timidly crept towards him, only a foot away now as she towered over him as she was still bent to the ground. Instinctively, his finger twitched towards his lightsaber that hung at his hip, becoming increasingly aware of the weapon. Would he be able to strike her? He thought. Without reason, his jaw tensed.
"Ben," she whispered, almost the same way she had back in the throne room after they defeated Snoke and his guards. It felt unreal, to be here again so soon, with her.
"Come with me." she demanded. He noted the tears that threatened to leak, her cheeks reddening from her plea as her breath hitched. Kylo stared seemingly blankly at Rey, barely blinking as her studied her, anticipating her next move, crouched there on the edge of his basic and boyish flight or fight instinct.
With shaking hands, Rey knelt down and reached to cup his face in her palm, desperate to keep him there, to listen to her words and take this step with her. However, Kylo didn't give her the chance to make her case as he quickly reared his head back, yanking away from her touch before she succeeded.
Rey gulped, knowing this would not be going in the direction she hoped, yet again.
"No. You are the one that denied me, you are the one that left." Kylo bit out through clenched teeth. He watched as Rey winced at his tone, though the fight he had seen so often, filled her eyes.
"You asked me to join you, to stand at your side, to choose your path and turn around to assist you kill my friends?" She returned his tone, growing instantly frustrated, while disappointment settle deep within her gut. She scoffed and turned her back to him in hopes that he would not see the tear that spilled.
Behind her, she him shuffle to his feet.
"I offered you the galaxy. I offered you all the power, I offered to bow at your rule!" Kylo bellowed, he was shaking now, fighting the urge to pull his lightsaber on her, knowing that in the end it would do nothing - Their clashes would never end in death.
At his words, she whirled to him again, now having to peer up at him as he was now the one to tower over her. "That is nothing I want! Those people on this ship? Those are my friends, people I consider my family now! Your mother apart of that!" She yelled, and the last part of it sat with Kylo as he glared at her, the expression on his face spat daggers to every part of the hope that lingered within her.
She inhaled deeply, calling to the force for patience to help calm her. It was difficult still, but little by little, it worked while they both stood in silence.
Regaining control of her emotions and breathing, Rey's gaze fell to Kylo's boot, unable to look him in the eye, afraid that she would see the same seething look he had shot her only a moment ago.
Instead of looking him in the eye, Rey cleared her throat and wiped at her cheeks to erase any fallen tears, helping cool her heated cheeks.
With a beaten sigh Rey said, "Ben, I can feel this... Whatever this is between us, I can feel it. Admit to me why you wanted me to join you." She begged. Timidly, her eyes traveled up his black cape, and settled on his own gaze.
The fiery anger seemed to have settled, thought she could tell he was still guarded, aware that her questioning was not quite finished, but his features softened into a curious look, as if he were intrigued... as if he were in awe.
Rey added, with her eyes focused on his own unflinching study, "Power can't be the only reason... Can it?"
The bond seemed to have lightened into a weightless warmth that protected them, shielding them from their own anger, careful enough to not disturb the growth between the pair. At the realization of this, Kylo knew what she was asking of him as the bond attempted to soothe the powerful waves that constantly surrounded his mind.
Rey wanted honesty, even from the most guarded parts of him that he hadn't fully settled on. She wanted him to admit his feelings. Hadn't he already though? he thought. Was it not enough?
"Say it." Rey quietly beckoned, repeating the words he had said to her numerous times now, easily flipping the tables yet again. How could a girl cause so much chaos in the entire galaxy? How could this woman, this stranger, derail his entire existence so abruptly? His mind reached, but could not find any answer.
Kylo nearly gulped, his mouth too dry as he felt the darkness in him rile up. Whatever evidence that may been Ben, cringed away and hid. She had bested him before. He had offered her everything. And she...she refused him! She would do it again. No. He had to make sure it would never happen again.
He was the Supreme Leader now. She made her choice... And now, he must make his. Against his will, against his heart, his tongue instantly spoke what his mind whispered to him, never giving Kylo the chance to truly think of what he was saying.
"You are nothing." he said, though his tone was off, and for the first time Rey felt his uncertainty, yet his words still sliced at her. Kylo let the words linger between them, and offered nothing else; No explanation, no follow up, no reason. For a moment, Kylo noticed anger flash in her eyes, so quickly, so fiercely, and it was gone.
He fought the instinct to take back what he had said.
He expected her to yell, to turn and leave, maybe even draw her saber to her palm. He expected anything and everything but not for her to chuckle. To laugh in his face. Though the sound was new to him, and the flash of her false smile, was still a smile that took him off guard in numerous ways, but he couldn't think of that right now. Her sarcastic chuckle annoyed him.
"You know, I can feel you lying. I can feel it, through our connection, I can feel how raw that lie is." she smiled as she glanced down, but a tear escaped and trickled down her cheek once more, and silently, Kylo watched.
With a tremble, Rey bit at her lip and squared her shoulders, lifting her chin to the air as she stood up straight and regained her composure. With a swift turn, Rey walked back to the entrance of the Falcon, leaving Kylo eager for her to say anything else, to stay.
Approaching the ramp of the ship, Rey looked back at Kylo, speaking soft enough that he could still hear from the distance. "I wish knowing that it's a lie, was enough for me to stay... To fight through whatever this is." Rey motioned to the force bond between them.
Rey didn't expect him to say anything else, and wasn't sure if there was anything else to say either way. But still, she felt a sigh of defeat leave her.
It was true, however. Kylo said nothing. What could he say now, anyway? They were enemies, bonded enemies at that. He had bigger shoes to fill, had higher power to gain. The day would come when they would meet again, and on that day, only one could live. She felt that, too, he knew. Her connection with the force and her abilities were only getting better, at a very surprising rate, he noted. Skywalker taught her well in the small amount of time they had, but she still had so much more to learn.
In the meantime, he figured, she would do just that, and when she was ready, in person they would meet again.
Having board the ship now, Rey tossed one more look to him, studying his stance, noticing the way his dark, black hair settled in waves around his long face. She wasn't sure what the stars had in store for them, wasn't sure she wanted to know right now anyway.
With her hand hovering over the button to shut the doors, they stared at one another, studying their movements, studying their stillness, every blink and every breath going unnoticed.
She had hope in her eyes, and for a moment, she swore he had the same look.
They were correct though. Today would not be the final day that they would meet, nor would it be the final day that their force bond would sing in delight with their connection. This bond...This dyad... Was something much bigger than either of them could comprehend at this time. When they were both ready though...They would know.
Together.
With a final thought, Rey looked upon him and decided this was not Kylo to her. This was Ben. This was the lonesome man that would be her partner in life, whatever that meant. She had seen it in the vision on Ahch-To. What she couldn't understand, was why her reality was so far off from it.
They felt the string of the bond tug slightly, a hint that the connection would soon end, and as they gazed upon one another, they knew the hope that had within themselves differed, but remained nonetheless. She had hope that he would give up the darkside, not for her, but for himself. However, the hope that glimmered in him was completely opposite, and lived off of his desire for her to join him on that dark side of the force that she passionately despised.
With that, Rey pushed the button to close the doors to the Falcon, accepting that this was not a goodbye, but an even playing field now, taking the opportunity to flee with her friends and the Resistance, trying her best not to think too much on the fact that Kylo was not commanding his units to track them.
If truth be told, Kylo was doing his best to not think on that either, telling himself that it would only be a matter of time until they would find their location and invade then.
But still, he could not deny that he hated seeing her on this ship, on the ship his father held dearly more than his own son.
He scoffed as the bond went quiet, a subtle end to their not-so subtle encounter. She was leaving him, again. And the scavenger truly believed that he would be joining her in the light one day.
His nostrils flared, and his jaw unclenched, seeking relief from the constant tension that was flowing through his body. She was ruining absolutely everything for him, at a time when he should be focusing on going through the notions of taking over Snoke's power.
He is the Supreme Leader now, until the trials begin to prove his legitimacy. At time like this, one would be joyous, overpowered, and hard at work for the next to step in his rule...
But when Rey closed the door and their connection dropped, he felt a wave of loneliness that he hadn't felt since his childhood. At this, his brow quirked inn disbelief and in annoyance.
Quickly, he brushed the feeling away. He was trained well enough to know that these feelings were a mere weakness, and regardless of how he felt in the moment, he could not afford to be distracted, especially by her.
"Supreme Leader?" a stormtrooper called from the entrance of the room. Kylo whipped around, and stood tall, his silence giving permission to continue. "What's left of the Resistance took off on a ship. Shall we pass along orders to follow them?"
For a moment, Kylo thought. He hadn't arrived to a reason earlier as to why he shouldn't. Would it be worth it to follow the scavenger and her group of thieves and traitors? What would he do once he had her? To catch her off guard?
"No. Not yet. We need to regroup, prepare my ship and link Hux to my com. I need to speak with him to make preparations." Kylo ordered sternly.
The trooper nodded and briskly left the room, leaving Kylo alone once again. He glanced down at his balled up fist, opening it to look at his fathers dice, the ones he admired when he was just a boy sitting in the pilot seat of the Falcon.
The corner of Kylo's lip twitched with the memory, but abruptly halted as he watched the dice fade away into nothing.
Blinking, there was a quick moment where Kylo nearly willed the dice to come back, almost asked the force to show him the shine of gold in his palm once more. But he fought those instincts and desires, his mind punishing him for ever wanting a glimpse of the boy he used to be.
Kylo slammed his fist into the nearest wall, and huffed as he stormed his way back to his ship, a group of Stormtroopers quickly making way for their new leader.
He cursed them all. Cursed the boy he used to be, cursed the force for ever showing him a piece of his past, cursed Rey for everything she ever did to him, including showing him compassion.
A monster, she had once called him. A monster, he would have to be.
Back among the stars, both bond mates stared at the nearest moon, so close within the force, yet so distant with their mind and soul. They thought of one another, thought of when the next time they will see each other, knowing deep down that it very well may end in the death of each other, or both.
Deep down, they truly hoped it wouldn't.
(X) End of Chapter (x)
Author's Notes:
(03/31/2021)
Hello my beautiful friends! Thank you for reading this story, and thank you to those that re-read this story! I am so sorry for my absence. So much has happened in the past year, and after the release of TROS, I felt a small part of me kind of fall of from the Star Wars world, just out of disappointment from the movie.
I still have plans for a sequel to this story, however in order to get back into the writing groove, I have decided to do some heavy editing for Steady On first. I want to DEEPLY and sincerely thank you all for the constant love and check-ins, your encouragement has lifted me up from the edge so much, and I am in disbelief with how much you all love this story and want more from me. With that said, thank you so much, from the very bottom of my heart it means so, so much.
With that said, the editing I am doing will not distract from the big events that have taken place in Steady on, it's more of fixing typos, adding a lot more detail, and expanding on Rey and Ben's characters.
I would still appreciate more love because that is always so meaningful and encouraging <3
If you want more updates or to reach out, please see my links below!
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