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Taehyung is worried about Jimin, more so than he’s been in a long time. For the past year, and particularly in the past few months, all of Taehyung’s worries for himself and for his friends seemed like they were getting smaller behind him, staying still and falling away while he moved forward. And that was a good thing, it was such a good thing, to feel some peace of mind and gratitude and joy. To go so long feeling happy for himself and his friends. Taehyung might be optimistic by nature, but that doesn’t mean he never feels concerned, or doesn’t notice when those concerns have eased.
It’s always been particularly gratifying to him to see Jimin happy, and particularly upsetting when Jimin is struggling. So right now he’s taking this harder than he should be, he’s not getting himself excited and focused for this performance and TV appearance like he should be, like the others are. Jimin left the building an hour ago with his hoodie pulled low over his face and his shoulders hunched. Taehyung knows that his neck will heal and that he’s going to be fine, but. When Jimin cries, he cries. So it’s been a rough day.
They’re being styled for the performance, and Taehyung likes the hanboks, he’s trying to muster up some enthusiasm so that he can do a good job for the fans. If Jimin were here, that’s what he would tell Taehyung to do. Jin and Hoseok and Namjoon have been whisked away to a separate room to get their hair and makeup done and Jungkook is getting his foot checked. Yoongi and Taehyung are waiting for their stylists in here, and Yoongi is sitting in front of the big vanity mirrors reading something on his phone, being nice and ignoring Taehyung’s fidgety circuits of the room. Taehyung knows it must be annoying him, even if he’s not saying anything.
“Sorry, hyung,” Taehyung mutters out of the corner of his mouth. “Just can’t sit still.” He’s drifted over to Yoongi’s corner, absently going through some of the makeup and jewelry on the counter.
“It’s fine,” Yoongi says. He glances up, and their eyes meet in the mirror. Taehyung swallows. Has Yoongi been looking tired lately? Is he going to get himself injured too?
“He just needs to rest,” Yoongi says, like he can hear the stress gears whirring inside Taehyung’s head. Taehyung clamps his lips shut. “We’ll get through this show and meet him at the hotel and you’ll both feel better.”
It’s a little embarrassing to be so transparent. Yoongi is giving Taehyung a soft smile, too full of understanding, and Taehyung looks down and away. He picks up a few skinny silver bracelets on the counter, his hands looking for something to do, and then his eyes are drawn to another set of rings that the stylists had laid out for today.
“These are so cool,” Taehyung babbles as he brushes his fingertips over the sparkling S, U, G and A. He’s already told Yoongi he thinks they’re cool, he completely freaked out the first time Yoongi came back home to reveal them, a smug smile on his lips and diamonds on his fingers. He grabs the S, only belatedly realizing that maybe Yoongi doesn’t want him getting his grubby little fingers all over his personalized diamond bling, but Yoongi is still smiling when Taehyung glances at him in the mirror.
Feeling a little daring, Taehyung slips the ring on his finger. He’s not expecting it to fit, he knows that part of the victorious appeal of this jewelry is it was designed to fit only Yoongi, but instead it slips over the knuckle of his ring finger like a glove.
“Look at that,” Yoongi murmurs and puts his phone down. Taehyung turns to face him directly, away from the mirror, and can’t help but bashfully present his hand when Yoongi reaches for it. “Maybe it was made for you, too.”
“No S in my name,” Taehyung says, stating the obvious. Yoongi is turning his hand this way and that, rubbing his thumb over the tendons of Taehyung’s hand. Taehyung almost wants to take his hand back; he’s afraid of being obvious, with how much he likes it.
“Why don’t you wear it today?” Now Yoongi’s thumb is tracing the S, like he likes how it looks on Taehyung’s hand. “Switch it up. I can wear some other rings, I don’t want to wear these all the time anyway. They’re special.”
Taehyung opens and shuts his mouth. He can feel the back of his neck getting warm, which is very stupid. It’s just jewelry, he wears jewelry every day, but also it’s not. Someone made this for Yoongi’s hand, for Suga’s success. And sure, they wear each other’s shit all the time, but--
“It’s your name, I couldn’t,” Taehyung says helplessly. Fuck, he wants to keep wearing it so bad. What an absolute lie, that he couldn’t. He absolutely could and he wants to, he has to fight to not take his hand back and cradle the ring to his chest, now that the suggestion has been made.
“Do it. I think it’s sweet,” and great, now Taehyung wants to sink into the floor. Then Yoongi makes it even worse by looking up and smiling softly at Taehyung and adding, “Besides, won’t it help? With Jimin not being there?”
Taehyung knows exactly what Yoongi is referring to. Over the summer in Saipan, he had been nervous about jetskiing until Yoongi had given him his jersey to wear. Taehyung had pouted about missing him in Malta until Yoongi gave him his t-shirt and hat and joked that it would help Taehyung cope with his absence. The stupid thing about that was it had actually worked: Taehyung gets a smug little thrill out of wearing Yoongi’s things in front of cameras, but more than that it’s just. It’s nice to have something of Yoongi’s at stressful moments. A comfort object, or whatever.
Taehyung knows his whole face is red by now. “Um, yeah,” he says, mortified but fuck it, he’s never been able to successfully play it cool with Yoongi anyway. “It would. Can I?”
“I just told you you could.” Yoongi reaches out and takes Taehyung’s hand in his, traces the curves of the S with his thumb. Yoongi gives an experimental tug on the ring, and it slides off with the slightest resistance; he slides it back on. “Seems like it fits you as well as it fits me.”
Yoongi’s looking up to meet Taehyung’s eyes now, and Taehyung gets goosebumps. It’s unfortunate, but he gave up on trying to control his embarrassing reactions to Yoongi a long time ago. He always has these outsized reactions to anything, everything Yoongi does, any scrap of attention shown to him--which isn’t fair, because Yoongi has never given him only scraps, it’s just that Taehyung is constantly hungry.
It’s very different from how he feels about anyone else.
“I’ll take good care of it,” Taehyung says, his throat bone-dry.
***
It sucks when they have to do anything without all seven members, and it sucks so much more when the absence is because of an injury. Taehyung knows that they’re all thinking of Jimin when they first sit on the stage, where there are only six chairs set out for them. Taehyung clasps his hands and runs a knuckle over the diamond bumps of the large S, and does his best to clear his mind of Jimin worries.
It’s nice; it helps. It’s still a long evening, and for all the excitement of being on British TV and meeting Whoopi Goldberg, Taehyung is relieved when they’re back in the van on the way back to the hotel. Some stylist had made the decision that he couldn’t wear Yoongi’s ring for the bulk of the interview, something about it flashing in the lights and being distracting, but he has it back now, weighty and glittering on his finger. It doesn’t really make sense, because they’re all back in street clothes and Taehyung isn’t wearing any other jewelry, but Yoongi hadn’t objected and he’s the one who paid for it in the first place. He must trust that Taehyung won’t somehow fuck up the diamonds between the recording studio and their hotel.
It’s late when they get in, but Jimin has been texting them so they know he’s still awake, so by unspoken group agreement Taehyung and the others troop into his room first. They’re well aware that Jimin is probably loopy on painkillers, but they're also not about to separate for the night without at least checking in with him.
Jimin gripes about them making too much noise when they come by, and Taehyung almost feels guilty when he sees that Jimin is already in his pajamas in bed. They probably woke him up.
When it's Taehyung's turn to give Jimin a hug, Jimin grabs his wrist and peers at the S ring on his finger. “Oh my god, just marry him already,” is all he says. More than loud enough for Yoongi to hear him across the hotel suite. It's a silly thing to react to, but Taehyung can't help but blush and duck his head, glaring at Jimin from under his hair.
It's the kind of teasing they're all used to doing in front of the camera, selling their relationships with each other the same way they sell their smiles. It feels a little different when it's just the seven of them at the end of a long day, Jimin commenting on Taehyung's silly, Yoongi-related habits like--
Well, like it's something to comment on.
Taehyung takes his hand back and sticks his tongue out at Jimin, then leans forward and kisses his forehead. “Feel better soon,” he instructs. “Get some rest, I need you healthy.”
Jimin blows a raspberry at him. “I was resting before this herd of elephants interrupted. Aren’t you leaving?”
They do leave, once everyone has had a chance to touch Jimin and be assured that he’s not dying. Taehyung figures that they’re done for the night, and he isn't expecting it when Yoongi comes by his room later. He blinks at him a little stupidly, notices that Yoongi has already showered and changed into soft pajamas, which Taehyung meant to do an hour ago before he lost time being lazy and playing Breath of the Wild. “Hyung?”
“Can I come in?” Yoongi looks relaxed and happy, as happy as he's been for most of this tour. Taehyung steps back and lets him in, inhaling the spicy, floral scent of Yoongi's shampoo as he brushes past.
“What are you--oh. You want your ring back, huh?”
Taehyung is already tugging it off his finger, embarrassed heat on the back of his neck. Had Yoongi thought he was going to sleep with it on? God, he probably would have.
“What? No.” Yoongi barely glances at the thousands of dollars worth of bling that Taehyung's holding out to him. “I don't really care about that. I could just get another one if you wanted to keep it.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes to badly cover for the pleased flutter in his stomach. “Yeah, you're rich, got the memo.”
“Sue me, Mr. Art Collector.”
They're standing in the middle of the room, grinning at each other like idiots, and Taehyung feels more eased up inside than he has since before Jimin, maybe even before Jungkookgot hurt. Like maybe his worries can recede again.
His thoughts are getting embarrassing again. Taehyung clears his throat, says, “Well, if you didn't come for the ring, do you want to help me play Zelda?”
A goofy grin spreads across Yoongi’s face and he tilts his head, quietly says “Sure,” and Taehyung does his best to cover for how thrilled he is that Yoongi wants to hang out.
They sprawl on the bed with Taehyung’s Switch between them, and Yoongi listens as Taehyung chatters about the difficulties of this level. Yoongi says that his favorite part is when Link cooks food, so Taehyung does that a lot, letting Yoongi choose which food items to cook even though that doesn’t always line up with what Taehyung needs for the game.
After they’ve been playing for a while, Taehyung feels the brush of Yoongi’s hair against his chin as Yoongi settles his head on his shoulder. “Taehyung-ah, show me your hand.”
A warm pleased feeling starts in Taehyung’s belly and spreads outward. He obediently gives Yoongi the hand with the S ring, and Yoongi takes his fingers and looks at it for a second before interlacing their fingers.
Taehyung wonders if they’re going to talk about this, this odd slightly possessive new energy between them. He doesn’t know what he’d say, if Yoongi tried to talk about it.
But Yoongi doesn’t say anything. Instead he brings their joined hands to his mouth and kisses Taehyung’s knuckles, one by one. Then he kisses the fleshy part of Taehyung’s hand, between his thumb and forefinger. Then he kisses Taehyung’s wrist, right over the blue vein. Then he presses one kiss slightly higher on his forearm, and then Taehyung can’t take it anymore and reaches out to turn Yoongi’s face towards him and kisses him on the mouth.
Yoongi's lips are soft and dry, as carefully hydrated and cared for on this tour as Taehyung's. Then the kiss gets wetter, deeper, and Taehyung can't help the excitement that makes tension run through his whole body. He can't believe this is happening; he's wanted this so badly that he never even let himself put it into words, never let himself think it beyond the simple minded desire to wear Yoongi's things.
Yoongi lets out a little gasp when they part, and the audible shakiness in his breath makes Taehyung want to hold him. “So,” Yoongi says. “I guess I wasn't wrong.”
“Guess you weren't,” Taehyung agrees, as if he has any idea what Yoongi is referring to. Does it matter? He can probably guess. Taehyung just wants to get back to kissing.
Yoongi runs a hand up Taehyung's arm, up into his hair, and Taehyung lets his eyes slip shut out of habit as Yoongi combs his fingers through. “I had a theory. A guess that maybe this was what you wanted.”
“You're very smart, hyung,” Taehyung says, and feels a silly thrill of pride when that makes Yoongi laugh. He kisses Yoongi's laughing mouth, and Yoongi draws him in closer, slides his tongue past Taehyung's lips. Taehyung settles into it, gropes out for his Switch and sets it off to the side so that he can roll in close to Yoongi.
“There’s so much product in your hair still,” Yoongi says when they come up for air again. He makes a show of digging his fingers in close to Taehyung’s scalp and ruffling his hair, then arranges particular strands in Taehyung’s face. Taehyung can hear his hair crunch, so yeah, it’s pretty product-y.
“I need to shower, I should probably do that,” Taehyung says, embarrassed. He hesitates, looking at Yoongi through his now-artfully-arranged bangs. “Will you still be here when I get back?”
It’s late, they have an early schedule tomorrow, it would be understandable if Yoongi said no. If he wants to go back to his room instead, Taehyung will put off the shower forever in an attempt to keep him here, because he’s not ready to say goodnight and just trust that they can continue where they left off another night.
But turns out there’s nothing to worry about, because Yoongi pulls a face at Taehyung and then smiles at him and nods and stretches out further on the bed. “Go for it. I’m going to figure out how to get you past that monster that kept killing you,” he says, pulling his phone out of his pocket.
“You don’t even know what to search in Naver to find hacks,” Taehyung says, giggling when Yoongi kicks at him. He keeps hovering, not because he thinks Yoongi is going to leave, but because it’s nice, seeing him like this, knowing they were just kissing, knowing that Yoongi will wait.
Taehyung rolls off the bed eventually, but he can’t resist leaning in and kissing Yoongi’s forehead on his way to the bathroom. Yoongi gives a sharp little inhale of surprise, and Taehyung grins.
“Better take this,” he says, sliding the ring off his finger and setting it on the bedside table next to Yoongi.
Yoongi picks it up and inspects it, then smirks. “Sure you don’t want to keep it? For jerking off in the shower?”
“Yoongi-ssi!” Taehyung splutters, immediately red-faced. Yoongi laughs, then reaches out to him, tugs him in closer again and kisses him on the mouth, a quick firm press of his lips before he lets go.
“I’ll be right here,” Yoongi says, his voice a calm low rumble that Taehyung can feel at the top of his lungs.
Taehyung makes it to the bathroom, shuts the door and starts the shower running, then looks at his reflection in the mirror and covers his face and screams softly into his palms, just a little bit, just to get it out. Maybe he jumps up and down, once, but that can’t be proved.
When Taehyung lowers his hands and catches a look at himself in the mirror, the grin on his face makes him look about twelve years old. Yoongi’s effect on him, happy happy happy.
Taehyung’s worries have been easing up ever since they got back to the hotel and he was able to give Jimin a hug and see that he wasn’t miserable. Now, Taehyung feels like any remaining anxiety he had is swirling down the shower drain, washed away like all his stage makeup and hair products.
He’s got Yoongi waiting for him in the other room, possibly dozing off or possibly attempting to learn about Zelda. Maybe when Taehyung is finished with his shower they can kiss some more, in between Yoongi showing him what he’s learned about Zelda. Possibility stretches out like a horizon line in front of him, and Taehyung gets flooded with another burst of energy as he steps out of the bathroom in his pajamas. Yoongi happens to look up just as Taehyung has started dancing over to the nighttime skincare products he has scattered on the hotel desk.
“You seem very awake,” Yoongi says, and Taehyung grins at him.
“It’s your fault, you’ve given me energy.” Taehyung wavers, knowing that he should be responsible and do his whole routine, and then decides that he’ll deal with the scolding if his skin breaks out. He flops on the bed instead, jostling Yoongi.
“Hello again,” Yoongi murmurs. Taehyung rests his cheek on Yoongi’s chest and looks up at him.
“Hello,” Taehyung says, letting some of his hopefulness come through in his voice when he sees Yoongi smile. “Hello, hyung. Hi.”