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"call me if you ever need to talk, or something."
every time baekhyun thinks about what chanyeol said to him, he can't help but feel slightly sad. he’s sad, because he knows chanyeol really means it and that he won’t ever have the courage to call chanyeol when he really needs him. he figures it’s for the best, though, because he‘d probably be calling chanyeol all the time.
he needs reassurance, maybe, just some kind of sign to let him know that it’s okay to call chanyeol when he needs help with all of these emotions.
it’s three in the morning, and baekhyun can’t sleep. he’s tried everything. chamomile tea, warm milk, counting sheep, the whole shebang. it’s not working. he’s sitting in his pajamas, staring at the illuminated screen of his cell phone. it could be so easy… to just call chanyeol. he also knows that chanyeol is away right now, taking a much needed vacation. he doesn’t know what time it is wherever chanyeol is, but he knows that he needs… something.
with shaky hands, he dials his boyfriend's cell phone number. he waits anxiously as it rings, and rings, and rings… and then chanyeol picks up.
“baekhyun,” he mumbles sleepily, a sign that baekhyun’s call woke him, “dear, darling baekhyun... it’s really early. what’s up?”
he doesn’t say anything about baekhyun waiting until the morning, thank god.
”um. well, i don’t… know,” baekhyun sighs softly, leaning back. “you know that feeling… like, when something, um, doesn’t feel right but you don’t know what it is?”
“kind of.” he can hear chanyeol yawn and clear his throat. “do you want me to come over?”
“um. um, yeah…” he murmurs before he remembers that chanyeol is out of town. “but, um, aren’t you on vacation?”
”got back last night,” chanyeol replies. “i’ll be over in like… ten minutes.” he doesn't even let baekhyun answer before he hangs up.
ten minutes is not a long time, baekhyun thinks, as his body suddenly decides he’s getting up now. he’s changing his ratty, old pajama pants for a pair of clean sweatpants and running his hands through his hair. he shouldn’t be making an effort for his appearance right now, really. chanyeol isn’t coming over to critique his sense of nightwear fashion. he’s gonna help whatever the hell baekhyun is feeling go away. but still, this is his boyfriend. coming over at three in the morning. it's harmless, because baekhyun doesn't plan on seducing chanyeol while the other attempts to console him, or whatever. he sits down, closes his eyes with a sigh and stays like that for a few seconds. but a few seconds seems to melt into minutes because he’s jolted out of his thoughts by the ringing of a doorbell, followed by a series of loud, insistent knocks.
baekhyun can hardly muster up any good response to chanyeol’s gentle ‘what’s wrong?’
"um," he says, biting down on one of his nails. "i don't really know." he opens his mouth to speak again, to tell chanyeol that he's honestly feeling like he can't feel whatever is wrong, but instead he bursts into long-awaited tears. instead of feeling relieved, he just feels even worse, because chanyeol, his extremely wonderful boyfriend, got up at three in the morning to help him and all he's doing is crying like a baby. that thought, though it's simple and true, makes him cry even harder and he goes as far as to cling to chanyeol like a pathetic koala. he's sobbing like a schoolgirl who's been rejected by his crush, but he really, really can't make himself even try to care about that.
"woah," says chanyeol, pressing a reassuring hand to the small of baekhyun's back, finding that the other is trembling, "hey, calm down, it's okay, it's okay."
baekhyun, still crying, somehow manages to get chanyeol to drag him back to his bedroom. once he’s calmed down to the point where he can actually speak and sound like a human, he starts talking again.
“i feel really irrelevant, yeol. like, i could disappear and no one would really notice.” he sighs. he regrets waking chanyeol up now, because he’s getting tired. of course crying did it. “it’s not always like this, but sometimes that’s just how it feels.”
”i don’t really know what else to say besides, well, you’re not irrelevant. you matter a lot to me, and to the rest of the guys. we’d be lost without you, baekhyun.” chanyeol says gently, holding baekhyun close.
“thank you,” he says, after a long silence. “thanks for getting up at three in the morning to listen to me cry. um, i got your shirt kind of wet.” he shrugs, mustering up a weak smile.
“that’s okay, it’s just a shirt.” chanyeol shrugs.
“yeol, i’m tired.” baekhyun yawns, clinging onto chanyeol even more than before. “it’s really early in the morning... you should just stay here..” his grip on chanyeol’s shirt was tight enough that they both knew that neither of them were going to move for a while.
“okay, but you better sleep. you probably made yourself pretty tired with all that crying.” chanyeol runs a gentle hand through baekhyun’s hair a few times before giving baekhyun a goodnight kiss.
“g’night, baek.” he whispers.
”g’night, yeollie. thanks for sacrificing your good nights sleep for me.”