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First Officer's Log Stardate 2259.137
It is only the fourth day of the USS Enterprise's five year deep-space exploration mission. Logically one would not expect to have seen anything of interest this soon into a long-term endeavour, and yet Captain Kirk has spent 2.7 hours today complaining of boredom. I do not understand his compulsive need to announce such to the entire bridge crew, nor am I aware why, when I suggested he complete his backlog of reports, he grew even more distressed and called me a 'slave driver'. Captain Kirk is not in servitude to myself or Starfleet. His complaints continued until the end of Alpha Shift and I predict that his negativity impacted productivity among the bridge crew by 5.87% – I await the day's final reports to confirm this figure.
After having served under Captain Kirk for approximately 446 days, I still fail to understand him.
*
First Officer's Log Stardate 2259.163
Today Captain Kirk reprogrammed the replicators in the mess hall to produce ice cream regardless of what meal is selected. When I questioned his motives, he claimed it was a 'prank' in order to 'boost morale'. I reminded Captain Kirk that approximately 47.3% of the crew are lactose intolerant, to which he simply shrugged and suggested those crew members would need to visit Doctor McCoy. I require meditation in order to regain control over my emotions; the Captain is adept at compromising my control. I do not think I will ever understand the Captain.
*
First Officer's Log Stardate 2259.164
I succeeded in restoring the replicators' programming. The Captain called me a 'buzzkill'. I do not see how there was supposed to be enjoyment in the crew being unable to consume appropriate nutrition for almost an entire day. The Captain is now engaging in the childish Terran behaviour of ignoring me, also referred to as 'the cold shoulder'. My day has coincidentally been 63% more productive than is typical; further investigation is needed to confirm causation.
*
First Officer's Log Stardate 2259.169
It appears the Captain has lost interest in ignoring me. He spent approximately 65% of Alpha Shift standing at my console and asking question to which he knows the answers. It appears the Captain's boredom has returned. My productivity decreased by 43% today. The correlation remains steady.
*
First Officer's Log Stardate 2259.175
The Captain was interfering with the replicators again today. There does not seem to be any negative results to this at present. He would not respond when I asked what his intentions were.
…
Addendum: The Captain appears to have programmed several Vulcan dishes into the replicators. I do not know how he managed to do so as I do not think the Captain has ever eaten Vulcan food. They taste very similar to the real thing. I… I cannot think why he would have done this.
*
First Officer's Log Stardate 2259.200
Captain Kirk was awake in our shared bathroom facilities at an hour when he should have been sleeping. It has been my experience that humans require on average eight hours of sleep per night to function at optimum efficiency. When I asked the Captain why he had not been asleep he told me to 'mind my own business' with illogical irritation. Later he apologised and confided he had experienced disrupted sleep due to a night terror. I believe the Captain is experienced post traumatic stress from the incident with Khan. … … … I confess that it takes hours of meditation each night and morning to keep myself from lingering on such things. Perhaps I should offer to teach the Captain the Vulcan art of meditation, it may help him sleep. Because the Captain should always be functioning at maximum efficiency. … And because he should not have to relive such a thing in his dreams.
*
First Officer's Log Stardate 2259.214
Why does the Captain insist on beaming into dangerous situations? He risks not only his own safety but the stability of the crew. When he is injured– … The Captain is foolhardy and stubborn, illogical human traits that effect his ability to behave in a manner befitting his station. I will speak with him on this.
…
Addendum: the Captain does not appreciate my efforts to correct his behaviour. He also seems to be under the same impression as Doctor McCoy that my parents were not married at the time of my birth.
*
First Officer's Log Stardate 2259.216
For the past two days the Captain has only responded to my attempts to begin conversation with grunts and sometimes the words 'yes' or 'no'. I believe he is once again giving me 'the cold shoulder'. Lieutenant Uhura suggested I should apologise. She is far better versed on human behaviour than I; I should listen to her suggestion.
*
First Officer's Log Stardate 2259.218
My third attempt to invite the Captain to play chess with me was accepted. I was surprised to find the Captain to be a challenging opponent. He plays with a most illogical yet effective style. Much like everything he does. … I look forward to our next game.
*
First Officer's Log Stardate 2259.326
The Captain was injured during yesterday's first contact with a new species … I find I … I think I am emotionally compromised. At the moment Jim collapsed beside me I remembered finding him in the ship's warp core … I … I do not wish to lose my friend.
*
First Officer's Log Stardate 2259.328
The Captain has not yet awoken. The crew's productivity has decreased tremendously. My own has increased. I have asked Doctor McCoy to provide me with hourly updates. He told me to do something not physically possible for a Vulcan or a human. I will contact him for another update after my meditation is complete.
*
First Officer's Log Stardate 2259.340
The Captain has finally woken and is resistant to Doctor McCoy's insistence at keeping him for observation in the medbay. Doctor McCoy assures me that this is a positive indicator of the Captain's recovery. The Captain smiled at me when I went to visit him and enquired after the ship's status. I was struck with a desire to remain with him rather than return to my duties. I am still emotionally compromised. … But I am glad the Captain is alright. I will take my chess set to see him after Alpha Shift today. It is my duty to keep Doctor McCoy from unnecessarily sedating the Captain, after all, so it is my duty to distract the Captain by entertaining him. … And I have, illogically, missed our games. … And the Captain … Jim.