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“I have been waiting for this all day.” Betty sighed as she pulled her sweater off over her head.
“Oh God, me too,” Jughead said while frantically toeing off his boots and unzipping his jeans, “and not just all day. I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”
Betty let her jeans puddle on the floor before she tumbled onto the scratchy comforter of the bed. She slid between the sheets before lifting one corner of the bed to invite Jughead in as he finished stripping off his t-shirt and beanie. He quickly climbed in after her.
“Finally,” he whispered, pulling her in close, “it’s time to get some sleep.”
They were both passed out in minutes.
For the life of her Betty could not understand how it turned out this way. Sure she knew how it started and each step along the way but when, after a good night’s sleep, she stopped to examine it she just couldn’t figure out how she’d let everything get so out of hand. When it was late at night and she was exhausted she knew exactly why it all happened the way it did.
Honestly, she blames it all on the Ghoulies.
One September day when the air was just getting the first chill of fall she was crouching in a supply room connected to the staff lounge listening to the conversation through the door. It was not exciting. The teachers were discussing their days and how they were going to spend the long weekend. Betty was waiting patiently for them to leave so that she could sneak out too.
When she entered the room she hadn’t realized there was an after school meeting. The deserted halls lead her to a false sense of solitude for her to sneak around in. She was cursing herself for not checking more rooms before ducking into the lounge.
They wrapped up their conversations, a few took lunch boxes out of the fridge and they wished each other good night. Just to be safe she figured she should wait a few minutes before following them out.
Then something curious happened. Just as she was peeking out of the sanctuary of her little closet she saw the door open. A boy she’d never seen before wearing a worn leather jacket and a grey beanie ducked in. He closed the door very gently behind himself before he started opening drawers.
“You really should check to make sure a room is empty before you start snooping.” She said confidently.
Jughead reeled with surprise so hard he slammed his back into a pillar. The girl before him was confidently lifting one eyebrow at him. She was denim clad in jacket and jeans except for a blue t-shirt. A strictly pulled back ponytail seemed to mock him as she tilted her head for an explanation.
“What are you doing here?” she asked condescendingly.
“What are you doing here?” he whispered back at her, “You’re not a teacher or a T.A.”
“You’re not even a student here. How do you know I’m not a T.A.?.
“You just came out of the supply closet with no supplies in your hand. Doesn’t take a genius to realize you’re probably doing the same thing I am.”
A loud whirring noise penetrated the outside quiet. They silently agreed to go investigate together. They cautiously opened the door to the room. Out in the hallway an oblivious custodian with music blasting out of earbuds was waxing the floor.
“Shit,” Jughead said, not bothering to whisper, “He may not be able to hear us, but he’s blocking the only hallway out of here.”
“Look on the bright side.” Betty ducked back into the lounge. “There’s a couch here, a bathroom, and the floor is carpet so he probably won’t come in here. All we have to do is wait him out. In the meantime you can tell me who you are and what you’re doing in my school.”
“You first, Goldilocks.”
Neither of them offered their name. Not after they found a set of cards and played a few hands of Rummy. Not after they found a stash of candy to eat. Not even after they both settled onto the couch with eyes drooping from boredom and exhaustion.
“Jesus Christ! How long could it possibly take to wax this school? You rich kids and your shiny floors.”
“Right,” Betty scoffed, “It’s definitely the kids who tell the custodians to wax the floors.”
A huge yawn overtook her. Not that she would tell him, but Betty hadn’t slept in days. Between Alice’s nagging and trying to become valedictorian while still investigating stories all of her free time was gone. Even the time designated for sleep. This was supposed to be her night to indulge and get in a full eight hours.
Jughead yawned back. He would never tell the girl, but he hadn’t been sleeping. All of his Serpent business was being conducted in the middle of the night. He’d have to sleep after senior year was over.
“I guess we should just resign ourselves to a long night, Mysterious Leather Guy.”
“Yeah, we probably should, Ms. Ponytail.”
Neither one meant to fall asleep on the lumpy old sofa, but soon enough they couldn’t keep their eyes open any longer.
Many hours later Betty woke from the best sleep she’d ever had in her life feeling more refreshed than she thought possible. She was also pressed flush against the boy’s entire front. The morning light was not low in the sky. In fact through the high small windows she couldn’t even tell if it was still morning at all.
“Oh my God! What time is it!?”
Her yelling shocked him out of his own deep slumber. “Oh Shit! How long have we been here?”
Betty checked her phone. “It’s Eleven! In the morning! We slept for fourteen hours! My mother is going to kill me.”
“Everybody I know will just assume I’m dead,” Jughead mumbled with a voice still cloudy with sleep.
Betty righted herself quickly and dashed to the door.
“Wait, uh, mystery girl. Seeing as how we just slept together, do you think you could tell me your name now?”
She pointed at herself, “Betty.”
He pointed at himself. ”Jughead.”
“I’m sorry, what? Actually, I have no time for explanations. Nice to meet you Jughead. And thanks, for the sleep. It was really really great sleep.” She whirled out the door.
“The best I’ve ever had,” Jughead said to the empty room.
And it all would have been fine, except that wasn’t the end of it.
The second time it happened they got locked into a refrigerator together after independently investigating a restaurant. They naturally had to cuddle for warmth and ended up falling asleep.
The third time was in the bed of a truck after sneaking into a junkyard.
After the fourth time in which they fell asleep in a pool house in the middle of an afternoon having absolutely no good reason to stay trapped in there except for some light rain Betty had had enough.
“That’s it! This has to stop! We’re clearly investigating the same string of overdoses and deaths. Why don’t we just combine efforts? We’ll publish simultaneously with a shared byline.”
They were walking through the woods on their respective ways home from the pool house incident.
“Well whose name will go first on the byline?”
“My last name is Cooper. What’s yours?”
“Jones.”
“Then it’s easy, we go alphabetical.”
Jughead rolled his eyes. “Nice try. This is my story.”
“Excuse me? Who has been the first person on site for three of our four encounters? That would be me.”
Jughead smirked at her. “Fine, but we both know the issue isn’t the story. It’s that you can’t seem to stop sleeping with me.”
She raised a skeptical eyebrow. “You mean you can’t stop sleeping with me.”
They were both right. Being insomniacs was not their preference. Being able to fall asleep virtually anywhere as long as they were together meant that they kept finding reasons to wind up together. The refrigerator had not been locked and the employees were gone within minutes of their entrapment. If both had not been keen on a nap they could’ve been gone in 15 minutes.
“Well, you tell yourself whatever you need to, Jones, but we both know that I’ll crack this case first. Either you can tell me what you know and we can work this together and share the line, or I work without the help of some bad boy wannabe and take all the credit for myself.”
“Bad boy wannabe?” Jughead asked incredulously while looking down at himself.
“Oh yeah. The jacket, the beanie, the ‘I’m a loner’ attitude.”
“You know I’m in an actual gang right?”
“So your leather loudly proclaims, but the Serpents are barely a gang. I’ve done my research. You guys don’t deal drugs, you don’t run guns. Some members are thugs for hire, but that’s about it. Really you guys just hang out on motorcycles. Is it even really a gang or just a bunch of friends who get arrested for being drunk sometimes?”
“I don’t have to defend my life to you. You want to work together? Fine. Anything to get away from you sooner.”
And so they formed an alliance. They shared all the information they’d gathered thus far. In an effort to speed up the investigation, and in a show of good faith, they decided to divide up all of their perspective leads. To their dismay this gave them no new information, and more disturbingly, a lack of sleep.
After a trip to a local pawn shop that was a dead end Jughead decided he’d had enough. He was going to crawl in Betty’s window and take a nap. This was precipitated in no small part due to a conversation he’d had with Sweet Pea earlier that day at Pop’s.
“Dude,” Sweet Pea had said apropos of nothing, “You should really start nailing that chick again.”
Jughead looked up from the fry he’d been dragging through a puddle of ketchup. “What?”
“That chick you were nailing. You should go do that again. You’ve gotten all mopey and maudlin again.”
“Since when do you call anything Maudlin?” Toni asked snickering next to them.
“We went over it in English today. Fuck off.”
“Wait, woah, back this up. What girl? I have no girl.”
Everyone else in the booth rolled their eyes.
Fangs said, “Right, that one time you stayed out all night it was because you decided to drive. For eight hours. To nowhere.”
“And that other time you told Sweet Pea you fell asleep at my house but you didn’t,” Toni said pointedly.
Sweet Pea was smiling wide. “Or that time you said you had gone out early for breakfast but came back with stale doughnuts. We’re not idiots. We know you were out with some girl.”
“I was not out with a girl!” Jughead answered vehemently, “I’ve been doing research on a case and I’m not ready to talk about it yet. That’s all.”
“Your case smells like lilacs.”
“She does not smell like- I mean,”
Toni’s eyes issued a challenge.
“What makes you think it’s one girl? Maybe I’ve decided to start having a bunch of one night stands.”
The booth collectively rolled their eyes again. Toni laid a mock supportive hand on his shoulder. “You want us to believe that you, the guy who won’t take a girl on a date if he hasn’t known her for weeks, has decided to become a slut? Try again.”
“There’s no girl.” Jughead escaped the table while throwing down some money for the tab.
“Where are you off to?” Sweet Pea’s smirk was back.
“Nowhere. Research. For the story.”
“Tell the story we said ‘hi’ and we’d love to meet her someday.” Toni gave him a small wave goodbye.
Jughead grimaced. Sweet Pea had been half right. There was a girl who could help his mood. He just had to man up and admit to it.
For a moment when he was crawling through her window he thought he was in the wrong house. The woman lounging on the bed in front of her laptop was wearing a black wig and dark lacey lingerie. She sighed heavily at the person on her screen.
“If you’re not going to follow directions, I’m not going to stick around. Keep your money. Have a good night.”
The man’s protestations came in loud and clear as she shut down the computer.
“Uh, is this a bad time?”
Betty inhaled to scream as she whipped around but held it back when she realized who was behind her. She purposely did not make a move to cover up. If he was going to sneak in to her room he’d have to deal with her state of undress.
“What are you doing here? Anybody could have seen you climb up.”
“Nobody around. I checked. Soooo, are you an internet Domme?”
Betty took the wig off. “Kind of. Cam girl. The money’s not terrible.”
“But I just saw you turn down money from a paying customer.”
She glared at him. He shrugged in return. “It’s not just about money. It’s also about having control over something in my life. But, in your words, I don’t have to defend my life to you.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t ask you to. But, uh, anyway, I came to talk to you about something.”
“About the case?” Betty put on a shirt because she was good and ready to. Not because Jughead was there.
“Kid of. It’s case adjacent. Do you, uh, do you…”
“Do I what?”
“Do you want to sleep together again? I mean actual sleep. The way we have been. Or the way we did. Before.”
She looked at him. He looked at her. He continued babbling, “I haven’t been able to sleep, I mean really deep sleep, since you. I’m barely eating, I can’t keep my eyes open, but when I fall asleep I’m wide awake a few minutes later. I think it’d be the best thing, for the case, if we maybe took a few naps together.”
Betty could relate to all of that. She had actually thought about finding her way to his trailer for much the same reasons.
“If it’s for the case. I mean, I could also use some quality sleep. Here are the ground rules. First, I sometimes shed clothes in my sleep. No consciously touching any skin that gets exposed. Second, I’m old enough to know that erections happen when men sleep. As long as you don’t rub it on me it’s not an issue. Third, you have to be gone at a reasonable time, no loitering.”
She began removing her bra under her shirt as he contemplated what she’d said.
“I propose we amend rule three to say that the guest will leave at a reasonable time, just in case you ever sleep over at my place.”
“I can agree to that as long as you tell me how you found out where I live.” She was already getting into bed. Jughead hesitantly began taking off some layers.
“I saw a piece of junk mail on the floor of your car after the junkyard incident.”
She nodded. They awkwardly laid in bed a few inches away from each other for a few minutes, neither wanting to shift around too much and disturb the other.
“Screw it,” Betty said and scooted into Jughead’s side. “Four, there’s going to be some cuddling. We can both be adults about it.”
“Yes we can,” Jughead agreed before drifting off.
They awoke to the sound of Veronica saying, “Oh My God!”
That is when they first lie about being a couple. Betty told Ronnie they’d been seeing each other for a few months because she thought it sounded more plausible than accidentally tumbling into bed with some guy she barely knew several times in pursuit of a story. The truth seemed especially implausible given that Betty got too hot in the night and stripped off her shirt. She’d awoken with her bare breasts pressed to his chest. It wasn’t an innocent look.
Jughead agreed with Betty’s story while pointedly not looking at her bare side boob because he didn’t want anyone to know he’s working a story. And because he liked the idea of people thinking he’s worthy of the force of nature that is Betty Cooper.
They take two naps and have one sleepover before the story hits his side of town.
“So,” Toni began as she slid onto a stool next to him at the Wyrm, “I hear that you are dating the Princess of the North Side.”
“Who?” Jughead asked earnestly.
“Betty Cooper. Cheryl calls her the biggest Goodie-Two-Shoes at Riverdale High. She said that a Vixen caught you in bed with her.”
“Are there two Betty Coopers at Riverdale?” He asked because he can’t fathom that the girl who he’d seen commit no less than five felonies in the past week could be the town good girl.
“Why, are you actually sleeping with a Betty Cooper?” Toni asked incredulously.
“...maybe.”
The resulting conversation lead to Toni insisting that they have a get together so that everyone can meet and become friends. Jughead reluctantly showed up at the agreed upon place and time.
For ten minutes they all sat around in uncomfortable silence. Jughead and Betty kept giving each other helpless looks and little shrugs as Toni’s frightening girlfriend looked eagerly between the two of them. Veronica and her overgrown puppy boyfriend made Jughead even more uncomfortable because they looked like they’re trying to figure out why Betty was with him in the first place.
“So,” the red decked Cheryl said, “You’re the miscreant Toni’s told me about whose stolen the heart of our dear innocent Betty.”
“Innocent,” Jughead said with a snort as he bit into a fry. A quiet descended that made him look up from his plate. Everyone was staring at him. Betty’s look was actually more of a glare. “Wait, that wasn’t a joke?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Arch, don’t,” Betty warns him.
“Uh-” Jughead shifted in his seat “-I mean that Betty seems to get into her fair share of trouble. With the reporting and all that.”
“So you weren’t referring to popping our dear Betty’s cherry?” Cherly said as she placed a cherry in her mouth and bit with a crunch.
“Jesus,” he said, a little taken aback by the bluntness.
“Oh put the attitude away, Cheryl,” Veronica shooed her off. “Unless you two feel like giving us a few choice details. No pressure.”
With his eyes Jughead pleaded with Betty.
“And on that note. We’re leaving,” she said scooting him out of the booth.
“Oh come on, it’s all good clean fun! I’m just kidding! Come back!” Veronica’s voice chased them out the door.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to make your friends question you, or whatever.”
“Oh, yeah, no,” Betty said with a wave of her hand as she looked at her phone, “I was really just looking for an excuse to leave. I got a text from the morgue. How do you feel about bribing officials?”
“See! This is what I’m talking about!” They slung their legs over Jughead's motorcycle. “Innocent my ass.”
For all of his meddling and wandering where he shouldn’t have been, it was actually Jughead’s first trip to a morgue. It was certainly his first time with someone who knew what the standard fee to bribe the doctor was.
The main room they went into wasn’t as cold as he thought it would be. It also didn’t have any people in it, a small blessing in his opinion. Betty laid the bribe three folders down in Dr. Curdle’s top drawer as instructed. In exchange they had a cope of a tox screen in hand. They leaned against his desk reading it side by side. Jughead was too enthralled by the smell of Betty next to him to read it carefully.
“Fentanyl?” she mumbled, “Why would he have fentanyl in his blood? It doesn’t even get people high and it’s incredibly lethal. Do you think he was poisoned?”
“It’s looking like that.”
As she moved to pace with the papers he found his eyes trialing to her ass. As soon as he realized he forced them back to her ponytail. Objectifying women was not a thing he did. It was just that he’d never felt like that about a girl before.
“So, can I assume your friends don’t know about the camming? Since they see you as a paragon of virtue.”
Betty internally rolled her eyes. “Are we back on that? Like I said, it’s about the money. And not that it’s anyone’s business, but I’m technically still a virgin no matter how many guys I’ve seen jack off. And you know what, even if it’s not about the money it’s still my choice and I’m an adult now; I’m allowed. So even if the camming is just an audition to find someone whose face I want to sit on, that’s my choice too.”
“I have a face.”
Betty’s eyebrows shot up as Jughead started to stammer and blush. “That’s not- I uh, it’s not. I didn’t mean to say… Fentanyl, that’s interesting.”
His shyness at having admitted his interest made him even more intriguing to her. It made her feel bold. Powerful.
As she stepped forward he stepped back until he was sitting on the desk.
“It’s not just about a face. I’m looking for someone who can follow orders. Who wants to follow orders. Tell me, Jug, is that something you want?” She leaned in close between his legs and wound her hands into his hair.
“I can be good for you,” Jug whispered back looking entirely enthralled.
“Excellent. You can start by asking your Serpent friends how someone in this town can get their hands on fentanyl.” She abruptly left him on his own on the desk as she sauntered to the door. “Coming?”
It took him a few beats to compose himself. “Seriously, is there another Betty at your school?”
They continued their flirtations along with their daily and nightly duel slumber. They stood somewhere on the cusp between acquaintances, friendship, and romance. The more time they spent running around town together the more convinced the people of Riverdale became that they were in love.
Which is when Alice finally caught wind of the matter. To no one’s surprise she promptly forbid Betty from seeing ‘that boy’. They were able to text. They talked about the case. They met up with Archie and Veronica at Pop’s. Jughead even formed a friendship with Archie based almost entirely on a shared love of videogames and doing the right thing.
What they didn’t get to do together, was sleep.
Through those days their moods turned sour. Betty snapped at everyone who came near her. Jughead could barely stand to be in the same room as the jubilant Serpents caroused in the Wyrm. As those long days stretched into weeks they spoke less and less of the case and more about being alone with each other.
Finally, when Betty couldn’t take it anymore she found her way to the Wyrm. She carefully chose her black jeans and shirt to not stand out too much. It was of no use. She found Jughead glaring across a pool table at a group of fellow Serpents.
“Bad time?” she couldn’t help but ask.
“Betty?”
A tall boy with a black curl dangling down into his face offered a salacious smile. “So you’re the infamous Betty. Damn.”
“Sweet Pea I swear to God-” Jughead snarled before he could stop himself. Even he, or especially he, was surprised at his voracity.
Sweet Pea held up his hands in surrender. “Hey, she’s hot. Not my fault.”
“No, but speaking is,” Betty said with a disgusted look. Jughead led her by the arm back out the door.
“Nice place,” she said sarcastically.
“What are you doing here?”
She sighed. He looked pissed. “I just… look- I need sleep.”
“Well me too, but we haven’t exactly been rife with opportunity.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be an ass. The insomnia’s getting to me too. Got a plan?”
“Yeah. There’s this cheap motel. I know it’s tawdry. I know what it sounds like but I’m just so tired.”
“I’m in. I’ll bring cash. Just text me the details and I’ll find a way.” He turned back to the Wyrm.
She didn’t know if she should walk away or call after him. Perhaps say thanks for willing to meet up with her. As she tried to decide she just ended up standing there, doing nothing. Once he was well and truly gone from sight she texted him to meet her the following night.
“I have been waiting for this all day,” Betty sighed as she pulled her sweater off over her head.
“Oh God, me too,” Jughead said while frantically toeing off his boots and unzipping his jeans, “and not just all day. I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”
And so they slept. For hours upon hours. When they woke in the morning they separated long enough to brush their teeth and use the bathroom before they were back between the sheets. They napped until afternoon it was afternoon sun being blocked by the heavy curtains.
“I mean it. This time I’m really getting up.” Betty said with no enthusiasm into Jughead’s chest.
He chuckled and trailed a finger up her bare arm, “You’ve been saying that for three hours.”
“Yup. And I’ve been lying the whole time. Even now. You should kick me out of your bed for being a liar.”
“Oh sure, make me do the dirty work.” He stretched his arms out high above his head with a groan.
“Well I’m not getting anywhere on my own. I think I’m getting addicted to sleep.”
“Yeah.” Jughead ran a hand through her hair. “But everyone’s addicted to sleep. The problem is you like the sleep I give to you best.”
She leaned her chin on his chest to look into his eyes. Slowly the gap between them closed. Not so very suddenly they were kissing.
Betty gasped, “THAT’S IT!” She shot straight up and out of bed pulling on her clothes from off the floor.
“That’s what?” Poor confused Jughead asked.
“That’s why there’s fentanyl in town! Come on! We have to go prove that the Ghoulies are putting fentanyl into their drugs on purpose!”
He began pulling his clothes on too, far more reluctantly than her. “Why would they kill their client base?”
“It’s a kind of sacrifice, spend money to make money. They spiked a few doses of what they’re selling because they wanted people to die. If word spreads that their stash is so pure it’s killing people they’ll pull in other addicts. It’s pure evil, but also ingenious. We just have to get Sheriff Keller on the case. I’m so glad he’s the Sheriff again.”
He paused. Standing in the room wearing only boxers and a t-shirt he asked, “So that’s it then? Case over?”
“This is great news! We have them! We just need to confiscate and test some of their product and get them arrested.”
“And after that? Do we tell people that we broke up? Do we just never see each other again and let people assume what they will? Do we keep sneaking around to get some shut eye? What about us?”
Betty turned to see Jughead just standing there looking so lost. She could hardly bear it. “Or we could just start dating for real. I mean, at this point what’s the difference between what we’re doing now and that? Some kissing?”
And with that she caught his face between her hands and pulled him into another kiss. As it turned out, it was a little different.
Only a few days after the case was solved they were back in bed- not sleeping. With a firm grasp in his hair Betty was able to wield Jughead’s mouth as her own personal pleasure tool. She moaned encouragements when he found just the right spots. She sighed her approval and told him how good he was being when he found the correct pace. Higher and higher she went into ecstasy from his performance. She all but screamed when she found her climax on his tongue.
“God Damn It!” They heard Toni shriek from the doorway as they were catching their breath. “You two are like bunnies I swear! Everyone in town has caught you two going at it. Give it a break some time!”
As she slammed the door shut behind her they exchanged small grins as they knew it was actually the first time they’d ever done that.
Jughead flopped onto the bed next to a still breathless Betty. “I don’t know about you, but I could use a nap.”