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It was Gerard that found him in the parking lot of a Best Buy in Jersey, slumped over at the steering wheel of his car with Sidekick in hand. Gerard that took him to the hospital, signed paperwork, and never once complained.
Pete couldn't help but be glad it wasn't that particular member of My Chemical Romance that found him. He had hurt Mikey enough as it was. Mikey didn't need to see Pete like this, didn't need to know that Pete was an ultimate failure at life who couldn't even off himself properly.
After it was all said and done, however, Pete was glad that Gerard had found him when he did. He was glad to be alive now. Some days, he wished Gerard would have just talked about that TV he was considering buying for just twenty more minutes. Those were his bad days, where he would have to drag himself out of his bed and force himself to go to work. When Pete felt like living again, he knew he would appreciate his effort then.
Gerard and Pete never talked about their bands. It was too painful for both of them. Pete didn't want to think about the broken promises and unfinished business left behind. Gerard tried to forget about the days spent in a haze of drunkenness, pushing everyone away.
Pete didn't want to go back and see all the disappointed faces, people he had let down again and again but still wanted him around for some strange reason. People he had hurt by running away. People he had kept secrets from, had never told about the monster eating away at him.
Gerard was quiet and understanding. He knew there were people Pete could never look in the eye again. People that were mad and disappointed and worried, yet still in love. He would stay for as long as Pete needed, making Pete guilty for forcing him to take care of the twenty something who still acted like an angsty, self-absorbed teenager. For making him choose sides in something he was never a part of. For making him leave everything he had ever known thousands of miles away. For leaving the only family he had ever known.
Pete would always be guilty. For the way he had treated Mikey. For ruining his own band. For sabotaging his future. For letting down Joe and Andy. For putting all that stress on Patrick. Oh God, Patrick. How could Pete ever face him after that? He broke all the promises he had ever made to that unsure fifteen year old, the one he could never do the right thing by.
Pete enjoyed being here most days. He liked feeling useful, feeling like he had a hand in his future, feeling like he could control what would happen to him.
And Gerard, Gerard was the best. He always understood, never judged Pete, was just there whenever Pete needed someone. Gerard was his rock, helping him through the highs and the lows, never mentioning anything related to his life back home. Pete couldn't imagine that there would be someone in this world that would drop everything to be with him. That wasn't fair to Gerard, though. Gerard was struggling with his own demons just as much as Pete. Pete tried to be there for him whenever he could. Just as Gerard did for Pete, Pete tried to provide some semblance of comfort, tried to be as good as someone who wasn't there, tried to have the knowledge of someone who understood him since the day he was born with wordless communication only years of commitment could entail.
Gerard knew what he was doing for Pete. With each day, he could see Pete getting better, trying to put the past behind him and look forward. But every now and then, Pete would struggle to get through the day. Gerard was there for him. Gerard held Pete when he needed a touch, listened when he needed an ear. When Pete lapsed into apologies shrouded with metaphor, Gerard nodded and tried his best to understand.
And whenever Gerard fell, Pete was there to help pick him back up. Pete spoke of inside jokes and childhood memories. Gerard knew Pete was trying to repay the favor, but he really helped. Gerard didn't see helping Pete as a chore, and Pete was someone Gerard could rely on to make him feel better.
They both had ghosts of pasts that one day would catch up with them, but for right now, they had each other.