Chapter Text
I woke suddenly in pitch darkness. I remained very still and quiet, and waited for some sign of what had awakened me. When none came, I slowly sat up. That was when I knew something wasn’t right, because as the covers slipped down and my skin was exposed to the cool air, I realized I was naked.
I never slept naked. On Jakku one had to be prepared for opportunity or danger to strike at any time, even in the middle of the night – you had to be ready to leap out of bed at a moment’s notice, so people tended to wear at least some form of clothing. Why would I have changed such an ingrained habit? Unless ...
Rather hesitantly, I reached out towards the usually-empty side of the bed. The only way I might conceivably have fallen asleep naked was if I had dozed off after sex, but it had been years since I’d had a regular partner and I hardly ever had one-night stands. Still, if there had been a celebration involving alcohol the previous evening it was not out of the question, and that would also explain why I seemed to be having trouble remembering what had happened, although I did not feel hung-over.
There was no-one in my bed, however. But what was more alarming was that my outstretched arm kept feeling mattress and blankets where it should, by now, have come to the bed’s edge. My bed was not this big. That was when it hit me: it wasn’t my bed.
I was not in my hut. I would not have gone home with anyone else, however drunk I might have been. That sort of thing could get a young woman like myself killed. You always went to your own hut when you decided to sleep with someone, so you knew where your weapons were, where the furniture was if you had to stumble about in the dark, where the nearest escape route was. So that meant ... what? I’d been kidnapped? Maybe drugged? Slave traders did sometimes raid the villages of Jakku, I knew. I started to panic at the thought. Not only was I not at home, I might not even be on my planet any more. I could be on a starship on my way to being sold as property. It might even have already happened. I could be anywhere in the galaxy.
I took a series of deep breaths to try and calm myself. Growing up on Jakku, one learned early to confront hardship and adversity with stoicism. Screaming or crying were rarely helpful, and right now it didn’t seem like there was anyone around to hear me anyway. I’d heard nothing but my own movements since waking. Tentatively, I said: “Lights?”
I snapped my eyes shut against the blaze of brightness that followed. When I opened them again, the light revealed me to be in a sparsely-furnished, military-style room. The only thing in it that didn’t appear completely utilitarian was an odd sculpture on a low table – it resembled a half-melted helmet. A helmet that looked vaguely familiar – I’d seen images of it somewhere.
To my relief, I was indeed alone. The lack of windows suggested I was aboard a starship, but the room seemed too large for that, although it was possible if the vessel was big enough or the person to whom it belonged was of sufficient importance. More likely, though, I was on a planet. Probably not Jakku – most of its population lived in small, primitive villages like my own home, Tuanul.
I got slowly out of bed. It was as I stretched that I realized I wasn’t totally naked – there was something around my neck. It was flush against my skin and I couldn’t see it when I looked down at myself. I put my hands up to feel it. It felt like leather, with a circular metal tag dangling from the front. A collar? Cold fear trickled down my spine. This confirmed my slave theory. I ran my fingers all the way around the collar, but there didn’t seem to be a buckle or other form of fastening – I could not take it off. I touched the tag carefully. There was something engraved on both sides of it. Some sort of symbol on the front, I thought, and words on the back, though I couldn’t decipher them.
I walked towards the nearest door, assuming – and hoping, as my bladder was full – that it led to a refresher. I was right. I took care of the necessary business, then, afraid of what I might see, steeled myself to look into the mirror above the sink. My brown eyes looked back at me with their usual expression – my pupils did not appear dilated or contracted, as they might have been as reaction to drugs. That didn’t really mean anything, though – maybe the drugs had just worn off. My dark brown hair, which I usually kept tied back out of my face, fell loose to just below my shoulders. My face seemed normal – no bruises or cuts or other evidence of a struggle having taken place.
I looked next at the collar. It seemed to be black leather, as I’d suspected. The tag was silver in colour and bore the emblem of the First Order on the front. I stared at it in rising apprehension. Then I turned it around to see what was written on the back, tilting my head in an attempt to make it easier to read the reversed letters in the reflection. They said:
PROPERTY OF KYLO REN.
I gasped and leaned forward, clutching the sink for support. I remembered. I remembered everything.
***
It had started when a Resistance pilot, Poe something, arrived in Tuanul. I hadn’t paid too much attention at first. Like most people on Jakku, I cared nothing for politics and generally ignored the machinations of the Republic, the First Order and the Resistance alike. Whoever claimed to be in charge, whoever insisted they were the heroes and the other side were the villains, it made no difference to me. My life went on the same whoever held sway over the galaxy and whoever protested about it.
Poe, and the little BB droid that followed him about, had been seeking one of the village elders who apparently had some information the Resistance wanted. They’d found their man and gone off to talk in his hut. But Poe had been tracked by the First Order – mere hours later, their ships were descending.
The Stormtroopers disgorged by the ships began ransacking the village in search of Poe, setting buildings ablaze and rounding up the villagers – for questioning or execution, I wasn’t sure. At this point I was afraid, but not terrified. On Jakku one became accustomed to this sort of thing, and I knew what to do to avoid capture.
I was a small woman, a couple of inches over five feet in height with a slender build. This gave me the advantage of being able to hide in places into which an average-sized person wouldn’t fit, and in which most raiders wouldn’t think of looking. On this occasion, I chose a stack of heavy crates piled haphazardly in a heap after a delivery of some sort. I wormed my way between them, squeezing into a narrow gap in the very centre. Even if someone were to look into the crates themselves, they wouldn’t see me here, and I was able to peek through a crack to observe what was going on around me.
The elder whom Poe had been visiting had been found, and was being held by some Stormtroopers while others continued their hunt for Poe. I could hear another ship landing amid much muttering and gasps of fear from both the detained villagers and the Stormtroopers. Somebody important was coming.
When the cause of the agitation came into my view I had to hold back a gasp myself. It was Kylo Ren, Commander of the First Order. I’d seen holos of him before, but in person he was far more imposing. A towering figure, he strode into the village as though he owned it, his long black robe billowing around him. His face was obscured by his infamous mask, but he moved with supreme confidence and, for such a big man, with surprising grace. As I watched him, a curious feeling grew in the pit of my stomach – a forbidden, dangerous feeling that afflicted me from time to time, one which I always suppressed at once and refused to admit to later.
Ever since my adolescence, I’d longed for a strong, dominant man in my life – someone who could protect me and keep me safe, but who could also fulfil my wanton desires. I wanted someone powerful who would pin me down and fuck me hard, to whose authority I would willingly submit. I was drawn to large men because they seemed to offer what I craved, but though they had the physical strength I sought, I had never been able to find anyone with a personality to match. A couple of my boyfriends had tried to be dominating when I’d requested it, but were obviously uncomfortable with it and hadn’t enjoyed it. A couple of others had been outright horrified by the suggestion. Assuming that I must be some sort of sexual deviant to want the things I did, I learned to keep my wishes secret, to stifle my submissive urges. I pretended to just want an ordinary relationship of equals and hid my true feelings behind a mask of normalcy and respectability.
Now, watching Kylo Ren stalking through the village, those feelings reared their heads and roared. This was the kind of man I wanted. This was a man who knew how to be in command. I imagined kneeling before him, offering myself to him. Then, as always, I quickly pushed those thoughts away. I wasn’t supposed to think like that, especially not about a mass-murdering megalomaniac like him. And anyway, I told myself, I didn’t even know what he looked like. Beneath that mask and the swirling robe could be anything – he could be ancient, or hideously scarred, or not male or even human.
Kylo Ren, in the middle of striding towards the restrained village elder, suddenly paused. Slowly, he turned his head in my direction. Though it was impossible to tell exactly where he was looking behind the mask, he appeared to be staring directly at me. I ceased to breathe for a moment. He couldn’t have seen me ... could he?
I began to breathe again as he tossed his head dismissively and returned his gaze to his captive. He walked up to him. “Look how old you’ve become,” mocked Kylo, his voice modified by the mask into a robotic, low-pitched growl. His words showed that he knew the man, which startled me – how was a back-of-beyond Jakku villager known to the highest echelons of the First Order? There must be more to the elder than there seemed. I wouldn’t know, I’d never spoken to him myself.
“Something far worse has happened to you,” said the old man calmly.
“You know what I’ve come for,” Kylo went on as though he had not spoken.
“I know where you come from,” the elder replied. “Before you called yourself Kylo Ren.”
“The map to Skywalker. We know you found it. And now you’re going to give it to the First Order.”
Skywalker? He must mean Luke Skywalker, I thought, the Jedi who had been involved in the great rebellion against the Empire. I’d assumed he was dead.
“The First Order rose from the Dark Side,” said the old man. “You did not.”
“I’ll show you the Dark Side,” hissed Kylo ominously.
“You may try,” said the elder stoutly, “but you cannot deny the truth that is your family.”
“You’re so right,” said Kylo. In an instant he had ignited a blazing red lightsaber and, in a single, brutal stroke, cut the old man down.
Amid screams of horror, Poe leapt from behind a nearby hillock and fired his blaster at Kylo Ren. In a spectacular display of his power, Kylo froze the bolt in mid-air with a flick of his hand. I’d never heard of anyone being able to do such a thing with the Force (not that I knew much about it). Poe himself was also frozen – I could see him trying and failing to move as a couple of Stormtroopers seized him. They dragged him before Kylo Ren and pushed him roughly to his knees. Kylo squatted in front of him, apparently regarding him.
“So who talks first?” said Poe, rather cockily given the events he had just witnessed. “Do you talk first? I talk first?”
“The old man gave it to you,” said Kylo with conviction.
“It’s just very hard to understand you with all the ... apparatus,” said Poe.
“Search him,” Kylo ordered the Stormtroopers, straightening up. They obeyed, rifling through Poe’s clothes. One of them said: “Nothing, sir.”
“Put him on board,” said Kylo curtly. As the Stormtroopers hauled Poe to his feet and marched him towards Kylo’s ship, another person approached him. This one wore highly reflective chrome armour, which presumably designated a greater rank than the white-clad infantry. “Sir,” she said, “the villagers ...”
To my utter astonishment and terror, Kylo turned and pointed to my hiding-place. “There’s a woman hiding among those crates,” he said. “Extract her and put her on my ship. As for the others ... kill them all.” Then he whirled around and headed back to his ship.
My heart seemed to stop dead in my chest. How could he possibly have known where I was? Perhaps his mask was equipped with sensors that had detected me, maybe by body-heat? What did he want with me anyway? Trembling with fear, I watched as four Stormtroopers, under the direction of the chrome-clad woman, detached themselves from the main group and made for me.
I briefly considered trying to run for it, but it was too late for that. Before I’d even started to squirm out of my hiding-place, two of the Stormtroopers had lifted away the crates from above me and the other two had grabbed my arms, yanking me out. The rest of the Stormtroopers had opened fire on the other villagers. Everyone I knew was being murdered before my eyes.
Numb with shock, I didn’t try to get away as the Stormtroopers led me up the ramp onto Kylo Ren’s ship. Just inside, a pale man in a military uniform waited. He had immaculately-groomed red hair, and the coldest of cold eyes. He looked down his nose at me when my escorts halted in front of him. “What’s this?” he said disapprovingly.
“Commander Ren’s ... uh ... personal prisoner, General,” one of the Stormtroopers answered.
The general rolled his eyes. “We can’t have him distracted,” he said. “Get rid of her.”
Panic flooded through me at these words, and I tugged violently against the Stormtroopers’ grip on me, attempting to break free. It did me no good – they merely held on tighter. I stilled as Kylo Ren reappeared, looming up behind the redhead from the interior of the ship. “Is there a problem, General Hux?” he asked.
“We don’t have time for your games, Ren,” snapped the general, gesturing at me. “Dispose of her and let’s be off.”
Kylo raised a leather-gloved hand towards Hux, but didn’t touch him. Nevertheless, the general began to choke, panting for breath. Kylo was using the Force to close his airways.
“Alright, alright!” wheezed Hux desperately. Kylo released him and he grunted to the Stormtroopers: “Put her somewhere out of the way, and see that she doesn’t cause trouble.”
“I can see to that,” said Kylo. He waved his hand in front of my face, and everything went black.