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Breathe in. Breathe out.
I bury my face in my hands, take a shaky breath and let it out.
As I close my eyes, thoughts of you come flooding into my mind. You are like a serpent around my neck, choking me slowly in your tight hold.
(I can’t…)
My breathing becomes ragged. Tossing and turning, I find no solace in my mind as I run from one dark corner to the other. I can feel you everywhere, watching like a cat ready to pounce its prey.
“Face it, Leonardo. You cannot run from this,” you whisper to me from somewhere in the dark.
And then, you step out from the shadows: tall, white skinned and so very... naked.
My breath hitches.
You are terrifying and glorious - a ghastly goddess. Something almost pulls me to my knees in submission.
(I can’t… I can’t— )
How do I tell you all these racing thoughts… these fantasies, without shame? You’d laugh and laugh, and for good reason.
I stare at you, transfixed. You are a vision, standing out against the blackness like a ghost with bloody red lips. Your eyes are darker than the ocean under a night sky, body curving at the right angles and breasts such perfect round orbs. I want to touch that smooth stomach, the dark patch of hair over your mons and those long, white legs that go on and on—
I blink and suddenly you’re within arm’s reach, running feather-light fingertips over my face, cocking your head just so.
I can't move. I can’t even breathe. My lungs feel too heavy from that look in your eyes—
You lean in and kiss me… I gasp as your lips touch mine, opening up to you in surrender while you invade me like you’ve always owned me. Your kiss is searing hot, your tongue dancing slowly against mine. Your hands travel south and I barely suppress a groan as you reach between my legs, groping my twitching tail.
I break away from your lips, panting and feeling sluggish, my mind a haze. There is a question hanging in the air but you never let me ask it.
I breathe your name and you shush me with another kiss.
My legs give and I end up on the floor, leaning back on my elbows as you crawl between my knees, your eyes full of hunger. You lean in and tease my slit with your tongue until I drop down, my cock already half-hard and throbbing with need. You tease me further, pace so painfully slow as you take a long lick from base to tip and nuzzle the head with your lips.
You play me till I start singing.
My head snaps back with a throaty moan of relief when you finally swallow my length. Your head bobs up and down as you suck the very life out of me, deep-throating me as if you’ve done it a million times before.
I want to come. I want to come so bad, coating your throat with my seed—
(—make you choke on it—)
You suddenly stop, your lips leaving my cock with a wet pop and I want to roar my frustration - except…
You crawl forward into my lap. You eclipse me like the moon, your skin is crystal white porcelain. I want to touch you but there is a terrifying dread at the back of my mind that you’ll disappear, dissipating like a dream—
“How very sentimental of you,” you whisper in my mind.
Straddling my hips, you take my hands and lift them to your face. My heart twists in pain - you feel so real, your skin is soft like velvet. You kiss my palm and guide my hands down, slowly so I can feel every inch of you. The column of your throat is perfect for—
(—choking. I want to choke you. Kill you. Kill... this. Purge these thoughts from my mind—)
— bites and kisses, but you guide me further down, to your chest. I can feel your heartbeat, steady and strong. I cup your perfect breasts and your hands abandon mine as you let me explore you. I pinch your nipples and a soft gasp escapes your parted lips, your hips bucking against mine. You lift yourself on your knees and lean forward, arms circling around my neck for support as you offer yourself to me.
I need no further encouragement.
Tasting your milky skin, I lap and suck on those pink nubs. My hands circle around to your back, between your shoulder blades and I hear you mewling as you arch into my touch. The devil within tells me to tease you till you start clawing at my face - but my patience is running thin.
My hands slide down your back to cup your ass, pulling you flush against me. I hold you there with one hand while the other moves down the curve of your buttocks and between your legs, till I find your moist sex. I’m kissing your neck while my fingers part your labia, already dripping with your slickness. You grind against me, looking for friction and my rigid cock is painting your belly with precum, aching in need for your inferno.
I want to bury myself deep within you, forgetting everything that exists outside this moment.
“Welcome to the purgatory of your mind, Leonardo,” your voice echoes all around me.
You grab my shoulders and shove me roughly onto my back. My head knocks against the ground and I see stars. I blink once, twice, and your form comes into focus.
You are the universe.
Bracing yourself on your knees, you guide my cock against your heat and swallow my length in one, powerful thrust. My eyes roll back into my skull as a groan tears free from the back of my throat. Jaw hanging slack and lips trembling, I swim in the heat that envelop me.
You are perched on top of me, licking your lips like a lioness about to eat its fallen prey. You devour me with your eyes, your expression so hungry…
I hunger for you, too.
“I know.” You talk to me and yet your lips never even move, your presence completely overlapping my mind.
And then, your hips start moving. Slow. Torturous… your body undulating in my hands as I hold you. Strands of your hair float around your face in slow-motion, almost as if we’re underwater.
Everything slows down. Your heat is all but ember - a constant, slow burn spreading from your center. A dizziness takes over me. Your pace is almost tantric, almost…
(—gentle)
“Why is there so much pain in you, Leonardo?”
I… don’t know. Stop invading my mind.
“Why do you long for this?”
I’m—
“You can’t have me. You can never have me. Anywhere but here.”
Why are you so cruel?
“I only speak the truth you already know.”
I… I think I want this because... I’m in lo—
“You don’t love me for me. You love the idea of ‘us’. You love the idea of what I could become, should I follow your path.”
You always cut me deep… Why do you have to twist my feelings…?
“I am part of your consciousness. A consciousness that is filled with guilt and remorse.”
I… I can’t do this…
“Of course you can. I am your fantasy. I can be whatever you want me to be - just here, in this moment. What do you want me to be, Leonardo?”
I don’t understand…
“You don’t want to face it.”
You reach out and caress my face...then, abruptly follow it up with a slap so harsh it snaps my head to the side, cheek burning with the imprint of your hand. That burn goes straight to my loins and my hips buck up into you unconsciously. I can see you smirking from the corner of my eye.
“You enjoy the pain.”
I...
“Sweet little masochist.”
If that is who I am, then you are the sadist in my mind who dishes it out. And that’s just fine.
My hands slide off of your boney hips and drop to my sides. I close my eyes in acceptance. You are still moving up and down my length, continuing the same maddening pace towards ecstasy.
You shift and I feel something cold and sharp against my neck: the blade of a tantou.
Are you going to cut me?
“I know you want me to.”
I hiss as the blade slices my skin ever so slightly, the trickle of blood rolling down my neck. There is no pain. There is only a rising level of pleasure and need. I can feel you leaning forward, cupping the back of my neck as you lap at the wound you’ve inflicted.
You pull the blood straight out of my veins like a delicious nectar. I groan through the thick, hot ecstasy that pools in my loins. I want you to be closer... I grab your waist, locking you flush against me. I brace my feet on the floor and start thrusting up into you in earnest, panting and moaning as you drink away my very life...
My loyalty. My honor. My everything.
I’d give it all to you.
“What a useless sentiment, Leonardo.”
You flick your tongue over the wound one last time and then capture my lips. I taste blood. It awakens something dark in me. The monster. The unhinged beast, thirsting to spill blood, to kill, to—
“—fuck. You want to fuck me into the ground, do you not? Or have you lost your nerve?”
Your laughter echoes through the darkness, cruel and harsh.
Enough.
With one well-practiced move I flip us over and your back hits the ground without a sound. I snarl as I hook your ankles over my shoulder, grab your thighs and start rutting into you, all inhibitions gone. You lay under me, arms over your head and your sneer. Your breasts bounce as I ride you hard, fucking you as if my life depended on it, my mind swimming with the squelching sounds of sex.
Something snaps.
I suppose it’s my own sanity because the next thing I know, I’m still pounding you into the ground when another you appears behind me, biting my neck, arms around my torso; a third you steps out of the shadows and crushes my lips with a kiss. I feel more and more hands all over my body, caressing me, touching me, clawing at my skin, leaving bloody scratches in their wake.
Before I know it, I’m on my back again and I count at least eight of you before my dick is swallowed by a tight throat and my face is covered in pussy. I grab those hips and groan, lapping and drinking down your juices as you grind against my tongue. I hear a wet pop down below, and then two… no, three lips are on my cock, sucking and teasing. I crack my eyes open, still busy eating you out as I look up and I see you kissing your own twin in a dirty display of debauchery, moaning against each other’s lips.
One of you is biting my thighs. Another you is groping my tail—
It’s a real orgy of the mind and I—
I can’t take it anymore.
My vision goes white, washing away the scenery and—
~/~/~/~
“Hngh—AHH—!!”
Leo jerks violently through his climax, streams of sticky hot semen shooting from his cock and painting his stomach. His hand is squeezing his length while riding his high, milking it to the very last drop, before the tension releases and he flops back on the futon.
Panting harshly and blinking back tears, he tries to get his bearings. His spent cock rests against his thigh, the evidence of his self-indulgence cooling on his plastron and the palm of his hand.
He stares up into the darkness and sees Karai leaning over him, her expression unreadable. Leo closes his eyes and she dissipates like the fantasy he’s just lived through.
The only thing that remains is the sickening shame. He carries it around like a heavy rock, unable to let go this need for something so dirty and forbidden…
He feels absolutely disgusted with himself. He is a leader and he takes pride in having control - and that control is nowhere to be found every time she visits him in the most private chamber of his mind.
She is a vice.
The idea of her is choking him and that beautiful pain turns into addiction: the addiction to the idea of her naked in his arms, wanting him and writhing in sinful pleasure.
He laughs into the darkness, the sound ringing bitter and hollow.
“Of course…” he whispers, closing his eyes.
Of course she’d want him - dead at her feet, done and over with.
And somewhere, in the deepest recesses of his mind, he knows he’d gladly skewer himself on her katana if it meant he could touch her one last time.