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Tatiana knew she wasn’t smart, it wasn’t something she had been told for so many years. She knew things, but she wasn’t that good at keeping her thoughts in place. She was easily distracted and in turn it caused her so much strife, constantly forgetting what she was doing. Misplacing her wares, adding to much of a spice, switching sugar and salt… The list went on and on. Everyone had called her stupid. It was something that she had grown used to, the only one who didn’t was Zeke.
He had never once called her stupid, that’s what made their fight worse. She would have forgiven the rude comments in an instant if it wasn’t for the last sentence he had uttered. “Tatiana, don’t you start this again! Why are you so stupid?!” The Seafoam haired cleric could picture just how he had paled once he realized what he had said. All the begging in the world wouldn’t have stopped her from leaving in that moment. Tatiana didn’t realize she was crying until he had reached to wipe them away, wanting to hold her. Telling her how stupid he was…
Zeke was as fragile as she was in that moment, she shoved his arm aside. Taking herself and grabbing a shawl, she ran to the priory and she had been there since. That night was nearly a month ago now. The fight was so stupid, he had mentioned something. More specifically someone, a Nyna. That didn’t matter, what mattered to her is when she asked if he had begun remembering someone. It had been something they had fought about for months now. She loved him, but she couldn’t keep him if he had someone else.
“He came again today… Tatiana you have to talk to him eventually, he deserves a beating too in my opinion. But… With your condition…” Agitha stood outside of her door lightly knocking on the wood. It had been two days since she had found out, it had been two since she collapsed. Tatiana hadn’t left her room since. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do, it wasn’t the right time for this to happen. By Mila’s light it was almost winter, they were only just recovering from the war. Even with Alm as the king they still lacked enough food for most people. With Zeke she might be able to hold through the winter, but she wasn’t close to being ready to forgive him
“I am not coming out until I have a good reason to do so, and a baby isn’t one. He doesn’t deserve that knowledge at the moment.” Tatiana flinched at her words, she really wasn’t herself because of this. Maybe it had to do with the hormones that her body was producing, but she couldn’t care less. If it had been anything else but calling her stupid she would already be back with him. But for now she was content brooding in her room.
The married woman on the other side of the door sighed as she set a coin purse outside the door. “That is from Nomah, the new high priest. He heard of your condition and wanted you to get some clothing for your eventual growth. As well as food and other necessities you’ll need, I will not bother you if you at least do this. Just think of the baby instead of yourself.”
As the cleric heard the steps recede from her door she laid back on her mattress, her hand on her stomach as she picture herself in a few months. She couldn’t imagine herself with a large stomach, with anything that was moderately close to that of carrying another life. Tatiana had always been petite and small, to imagine herself large even if only in her stomach was a stretch to say the least.
The Seafoamed hair female stood and walked to the door, taking the coin purse and closing the door quickly after. Looking at it’s contents made her gasp, where had he found all of this? Five gold pieces and at least thirty silver, that was more than enough to get her even a few new outfits and food. She supposed she should do so. She may only be three months along but she could feel the growing bump in her mid section pressing on the fabric.
Grabbing her cloak as she walked out of her makeshift cave, she couldn’t wait until she was back already. She didn’t want to risk seeing Zeke, as much as she did miss him holding her at night. The market was only a few minutes from the priory and for once she was glad of it, it seemed that the slightest of movements seemed to make her so very exhausted. She didn’t live in town any longer, well she hadn’t up until two weeks ago.
They had taken over the manor that was once occupied by Jerome, it was given to them by Alm. Though they had joined late in their conquest both of the two had helped immensely, and the king wished to show that. So they had been given a manor with staff and all they needed. She disliked the large home, it was too much for her. Besides that she had memories of that brute flirting with her when he had taken his residence there.
The female looked at the stalls as she picked treats she normally wouldn’t ever indulge in, nuts, macaroons, cookies… They all smelled so good, they all looked so delicious… That depleted nearly half of her silver. She almost felt bad until she remembered when Agitha had been with child, she craved ice cream and other treats. This had to be a normal thing for pregnant woman.
As she approached the clothing stalls she heard clamour of the young woman of the village. She already knew what it was going to pertain too.
“Didn’t you hear? She left him?”
“Why in Duma’s name would anyone leave him?”
“I heard it was because he finally told her the truth.”
“What’s that?”
“She’s stupid.”
Tatiana tugged her hood higher over her head, village girls always sought after her Zeke. He was handsome and kind… He didn’t have many memories aside that of her taking care of him, well that was true up until lately. Now she knew he was remembering so much more and yet he refused to tell her about it and oh did it hurt.
“It’s rude to talk of a girl you know nothing of.” A stern voice cut into the mix as the female felt the tears prick in her emerald eyes. He had been there, she should’ve known he would. Zeke always seemed to pop in and protect her when she needed. Though in this moment she couldn’t care less, she wanted to be back in her bed.
The yelps signified that the group had been thoroughly terrified by the male, now he had to leave so she could leave without issue. Handing the money over to the stall owner, she was given the larger dress. As well as two other similar gowns, as she spun around to leave she landed in the familiar chest of the General.
“Tatiana… Can’t we just speak please..? This is childish of you to continue you avoiding me, we made promises and you can’t expect me to just leave you alone.” Beneath his lecturing tone she could hear the wavering of his voice, and it almost made her cave. Almost
“No we cannot. I must be getting back so I can attend to my chores.” Her voice was soft as she moved to leave, stepping only a few feet forward when a wave of dizziness hit her. Causing her to stumble, letting the dresses fall to the ground. Damn, there goes the subtleness she wanted to keep.
Tatiana saw her lover move to pick up the garments, his hand freezing when he noticed the added fabric in the mid-section. She suddenly felt the shame rise within her, it was different when it was someone else. But when she was going to be the one called a whore..? Oh it hurt more than she ever imagined it could.
“W-What is this..? Maternity clothing… Tatiana are you… I don’t understand why wouldn’t you have told me?” The blonde haired man was normally someone who never let his emotions get the better of him. Especially in public, it didn’t matter to him who it was over. That was a weakness, and weaknesses got people killed.
She had lost her words, what was she supposed to say? ’Sorry I wasn’t going to tell you ever, because I’m still hurt that you called me stupid.’ Maybe she was overreacting, okay she knew she was. But his words had hurt her so very much…
“Perhaps we can talk about this somewhere less public.”
She was beyond surprised that he agreed, but there they were back in their manor as she waited for him to stop pacing.
“How long?” Zeke’s voice gained that accusing tone that she only heard after she had eaten something she shouldn’t have. Or when she had done something to ruin a project either one of them had. The female shifted as she stared at her hands, how long had she known? Or how far along..? He was right she truly was stupid.
“I’m three months along, I’ve only known for less than two weeks.” The seafoam haired girl was barely audible as she stared at the ground, she didn’t even know what to say. He had stopped pacing finally and now stood watching her. Mila she was terrified that maybe… Maybe he wouldn’t want her anymore, this would likely ruin his reputation...
She was beyond surprised when she had felt his arms wrap around her, he had fallen to his knees. His blonde halo of hair in her lap as his chest trembled, he was…? Crying? “Tati… I am so sorry, I never should’ve said that to you. You are not even close to being stupid, I was frustrated. And I should never have taken that out on you, please forgive me. I never meant any of that, I’ve missed you.. Seeing you wake up next to me, seeing you smile. Watching you cook even when you shouldn’t, I’ve missed you so very much. Please I want you to come home, now that you’re pregnant I want you to be here even more. I want to help you with whatever comes next.”
The cleric hesitated as she pressed her hand into the silky blonde hair, gently brushing it away as he glanced up at her. “I’ll forgive you this once. You deserve that, you have always been so kind to me. I was only hurt, and you should see your child grow. Even if it is going to be uneventful for some time.”
The male chuckled softly as he picked her up, causing her to yelp as he brought them both to their shared room. Sitting himself before pulling her into his lap, ignoring her protests as he silenced the female with a kiss. Glancing at the balcony they both noticed that snowflakes had begun to fall. Tatiana hummed softly as she settled into his arms happily.
“I love you Tatiana, so very much.”
“And I you.”
A new promise was made just from those words, a promise sealed in the snow that fell.